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- [Dad] How'd it feel to
be a college graduate, Son?

4
00:00:20,162 --> 00:00:23,226
- [Herman] Actually, Dad, it
doesn't feel much different.

5
00:00:23,226 --> 00:00:24,418
- [Dad] Well, give it time, Son.

6
00:00:24,418 --> 00:00:27,042
The real world can be a
pretty scary place at first.

7
00:00:27,042 --> 00:00:28,322
When do you have to be outta the dorm?

8
00:00:28,322 --> 00:00:29,762
- I think we've got until Monday.

9
00:00:29,762 --> 00:00:31,812
I should be able to find
a temporary place by then.

10
00:00:31,812 --> 00:00:33,595
- [Dad] Well, good luck, Son. Bye.

11
00:00:35,682 --> 00:00:37,962
- Dad? Hello?

12
00:00:37,962 --> 00:00:39,182
- Herman, you know you gotta be outta here

13
00:00:39,182 --> 00:00:40,908
by five o'clock, right?

14
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:41,741
- I thought we had until Monday.

15
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:43,595
- They changed it, man. Wasn't me.

16
00:00:48,350 --> 00:00:50,642
(phone ringing)

17
00:00:50,642 --> 00:00:52,842
- [Dad] Hi, folks. This
is the Schumachers.

18
00:00:52,842 --> 00:00:54,462
Say, the Missus and I are outta town

19
00:00:54,462 --> 00:00:56,532
on a three-month cruise in the Bahamas.

20
00:00:56,532 --> 00:00:58,071
Boy, I tell you, we sure we
wish we could stay and chat.

21
00:00:58,071 --> 00:00:59,158
(knocking on door)

22
00:00:59,158 --> 00:00:59,991
- Hey, they changed it.

23
00:00:59,991 --> 00:01:01,743
You gotta be outta here
in 12 minutes. Wasn't me.

24
00:01:01,743 --> 00:01:02,576
- What?

25
00:01:03,779 --> 00:01:06,413
(Dad laughing)

26
00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:09,580
(gentle guitar music)

27
00:01:50,671 --> 00:01:53,838
(vehicle approaching)

28
00:01:57,052 --> 00:01:58,572
- Need a ride into the city?

29
00:01:58,572 --> 00:02:00,182
- You gonna pass through Bloomington?

30
00:02:00,182 --> 00:02:01,082
- It's on the way.

31
00:02:07,652 --> 00:02:08,485
- Name's Hugo.

32
00:02:09,372 --> 00:02:10,205
- Herman Schumacher.

33
00:02:10,205 --> 00:02:13,952
- So, Herman Schumacher. Got any hobbies?

34
00:02:13,952 --> 00:02:15,332
- Not really. You?

35
00:02:15,332 --> 00:02:18,395
- Ah, just picking up
strangers and murdering them.

36
00:02:19,544 --> 00:02:22,242
(laughing)

37
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,642
Gotta have a sense of humor.

38
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,222
Say, do you go to that college back there?

39
00:02:26,222 --> 00:02:29,562
- Yeah, just graduated, world history.

40
00:02:29,562 --> 00:02:31,462
- I went to college once.

41
00:02:31,462 --> 00:02:34,052
Well, in the sense that
I drove to college once

42
00:02:34,052 --> 00:02:37,145
to pick up a girl, to murder.

43
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,912
(laughing)

44
00:02:39,912 --> 00:02:40,772
I'm just fucking with you.

45
00:02:40,772 --> 00:02:43,642
Double major, comparative
lit and economics.

46
00:02:43,642 --> 00:02:48,145
Say, I'm getting real dizzy.

47
00:02:49,242 --> 00:02:51,302
I get really dizzy when I haven't murdered

48
00:02:51,302 --> 00:02:52,855
a hitchhiker in a while.

49
00:02:53,786 --> 00:02:54,619
Oh.

50
00:02:55,627 --> 00:02:57,877
(laughing)

51
00:02:58,852 --> 00:03:03,822
I only get dizzy when I'm
having a stroke, like right now.

52
00:03:03,822 --> 00:03:04,655
- Oh, hey, ho.

53
00:03:06,569 --> 00:03:09,062
(laughing)

54
00:03:09,062 --> 00:03:10,159
- I was fucking with you.

55
00:03:10,159 --> 00:03:14,791
No, I only get real dizzy when I ...

56
00:03:14,791 --> 00:03:17,541
(birds chirping)

57
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:22,522
So, Herman, what's waiting
for you in Bloomington?

58
00:03:22,522 --> 00:03:24,852
- Well I've got a friend there
I can stay with, hopefully.

59
00:03:24,852 --> 00:03:26,552
- Just graduated, huh?

60
00:03:26,552 --> 00:03:29,052
I guess that brings up the
all-important question.

61
00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,522
What next?

62
00:03:30,522 --> 00:03:34,072
- Well, I'm hoping to
find a job in my field.

63
00:03:34,072 --> 00:03:35,272
- What, world history?

64
00:03:35,272 --> 00:03:36,892
- Yeah.

65
00:03:36,892 --> 00:03:39,672
- Well, I'm an architect with BECTech

66
00:03:39,672 --> 00:03:41,442
Global Systems Incorporated.

67
00:03:41,442 --> 00:03:43,462
I don't know if I'm a big
enough wig to pull any strings

68
00:03:43,462 --> 00:03:46,072
for you, but if you're ever in
a pinch, I know we're always

69
00:03:46,072 --> 00:03:49,222
looking for smart young
graduates like yourself.

70
00:03:49,222 --> 00:03:50,539
To murder (laughs).

71
00:03:52,594 --> 00:03:54,132
I'm just fucking with you.

72
00:03:54,132 --> 00:03:55,492
No, seriously though, about the job.

73
00:03:55,492 --> 00:03:57,255
- Oh, thanks.

74
00:04:00,688 --> 00:04:03,855
(gentle guitar music)

75
00:04:08,612 --> 00:04:09,812
Thanks so much for the ride.

76
00:04:09,812 --> 00:04:11,272
- Hey, no problem.

77
00:04:11,272 --> 00:04:13,012
- I'll just go around
back and get my stuff.

78
00:04:13,012 --> 00:04:14,019
- Okay.

79
00:04:14,019 --> 00:04:17,186
(gentle guitar music)

80
00:04:19,715 --> 00:04:22,725
- Hey! Hey, you're driving
away with all of my stuff.

81
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:25,963
Oh.

82
00:04:41,802 --> 00:04:45,362
- Herman Schumacher? Dude,
what are you doing here?

83
00:04:45,362 --> 00:04:47,272
- Hey, I'm outta school now, graduated.

84
00:04:47,272 --> 00:04:49,952
- Entering the real world, like me, huh?

85
00:04:49,952 --> 00:04:52,532
- Yeah, listen, I need a
place to crash for just like

86
00:04:52,532 --> 00:04:54,622
a week or so until I
can find another place.

87
00:04:54,622 --> 00:04:57,702
- Ooh, normally that
would be totally cool,

88
00:04:57,702 --> 00:05:01,002
but I don't think my wife would
be too jiggy with the idea.

89
00:05:01,002 --> 00:05:02,022
- Your what?

90
00:05:02,022 --> 00:05:03,602
- My wife.

91
00:05:03,602 --> 00:05:04,435
- Huh?

92
00:05:04,435 --> 00:05:06,232
- Yeah, dude, I'm
getting married tomorrow.

93
00:05:06,232 --> 00:05:07,862
You don't know her.

94
00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:09,422
- Why didn't you invite
me to your wedding?

95
00:05:09,422 --> 00:05:10,282
- Susan hates you.

96
00:05:10,282 --> 00:05:11,115
- We've never met.

97
00:05:11,115 --> 00:05:12,535
- That's because she hates you.

98
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:16,018
- What is Herman doing here?

99
00:05:16,894 --> 00:05:19,147
(punch striking)

100
00:05:19,147 --> 00:05:22,459
- I don't ever wanna see
you here again, you bastard.

101
00:05:27,382 --> 00:05:29,142
Thanks for playing along, dude.

102
00:05:29,142 --> 00:05:30,852
I can't talk to you ever again. Sorry.

103
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:31,927
Nice seeing you, though.

104
00:05:31,927 --> 00:05:32,760
- What?

105
00:05:39,144 --> 00:05:40,516
Huh.

106
00:05:40,516 --> 00:05:43,683
(gentle guitar music)

107
00:05:52,272 --> 00:05:53,605
What am I gonna do?

108
00:06:01,042 --> 00:06:03,032
Roommate wanted.

109
00:06:03,032 --> 00:06:06,065
Large house. Friendly environment.

110
00:06:08,987 --> 00:06:09,820
Ow!

111
00:06:13,944 --> 00:06:15,332
- Oh my God, are you okay?

112
00:06:15,332 --> 00:06:16,242
- Yeah, I'm fine.

113
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:18,032
- Mark, apologize to the nice man.

114
00:06:18,032 --> 00:06:18,865
- Ow!

115
00:06:18,865 --> 00:06:19,698
- Mark!

116
00:06:19,698 --> 00:06:21,562
God, I'm sorry. He can be
really difficult sometimes.

117
00:06:21,562 --> 00:06:22,395
- Babysitting?

118
00:06:22,395 --> 00:06:23,228
- Feels like it.

119
00:06:23,228 --> 00:06:25,752
Actually, that's just
my little brother, Mark.

120
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:28,072
- Hi, I'm Carrie Mirvis. What's your name?

121
00:06:28,072 --> 00:06:28,942
- Herman Schumacher.

122
00:06:28,942 --> 00:06:30,322
- It's nice to meet you, Herman.

123
00:06:30,322 --> 00:06:33,392
So, uh, what do you do?

124
00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:35,152
- I guess I'm a world historian.

125
00:06:35,152 --> 00:06:36,182
- Wow, that's really cool.

126
00:06:36,182 --> 00:06:39,552
You know, I've always been
fascinated by world history.

127
00:06:39,552 --> 00:06:40,385
- Really?

128
00:06:40,385 --> 00:06:42,482
- Yeah, yeah, here, let
me give you my number.

129
00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:45,972
And you can call me like tomorrow.

130
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,412
No, Saturday, between like one and three.

131
00:06:48,412 --> 00:06:50,615
You can tell me about world history.

132
00:06:51,882 --> 00:06:54,237
- Okay, I'll do that.

133
00:06:54,237 --> 00:06:55,662
- Here you go. It was
nice meeting you, Herman.

134
00:06:55,662 --> 00:06:56,815
- Nice to meet you.

135
00:06:58,968 --> 00:07:02,135
(gentle guitar music)

136
00:07:11,477 --> 00:07:14,223
(doorbell ringing)

137
00:07:14,223 --> 00:07:15,056
- Coming.

138
00:07:16,062 --> 00:07:16,895
Hold on.

139
00:07:18,012 --> 00:07:19,032
Hello.

140
00:07:19,032 --> 00:07:20,382
- Hi, I'm Herman Schumacher.

141
00:07:20,382 --> 00:07:22,392
The flyer said you were
looking for a roommate.

142
00:07:22,392 --> 00:07:24,102
- Oh, yeah, it sure did.

143
00:07:24,102 --> 00:07:25,452
Hi, I'm Blaine, come on in.

144
00:07:28,422 --> 00:07:29,922
So, Schumann, you a student?

145
00:07:29,922 --> 00:07:32,622
- Schumacher. Just
graduated, world history.

146
00:07:32,622 --> 00:07:35,302
- Oh, I graduated two years myself.

147
00:07:35,302 --> 00:07:36,622
Double major in political science

148
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,452
and comparative literature.

149
00:07:38,452 --> 00:07:40,212
Well, here's your room.

150
00:07:40,212 --> 00:07:41,892
- You mean I got it?

151
00:07:41,892 --> 00:07:43,132
- Yeah, I won't lie to you.

152
00:07:43,132 --> 00:07:45,132
We're kinda desperate
for the rent right now,

153
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,462
so, make yourself at home
and I'll introduce you

154
00:07:47,462 --> 00:07:49,632
to the rest of the guys a little later.

155
00:07:49,632 --> 00:07:50,563
- All right.

156
00:07:50,563 --> 00:07:52,980
(soft music)

157
00:08:02,617 --> 00:08:04,984
What the hell?

158
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,401
(soft music)

159
00:08:08,527 --> 00:08:09,527
Who are you?

160
00:08:14,204 --> 00:08:15,037
Huh.

161
00:08:16,324 --> 00:08:18,741
(soft music)

162
00:08:19,781 --> 00:08:21,569
(guitar playing in room)

163
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:24,819
(singing indistinctly)

164
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,145
Oh, excuse me.

165
00:08:33,352 --> 00:08:34,652
- You the new roommate?

166
00:08:34,652 --> 00:08:36,552
- Yeah, Herman Schumacher.

167
00:08:36,552 --> 00:08:39,425
- Alan Bryan. It's about
time we got another roommate.

168
00:08:42,842 --> 00:08:44,502
- You have a lot of instruments.

169
00:08:44,502 --> 00:08:47,852
- Yeah, well, I am studying music theory.

170
00:08:47,852 --> 00:08:49,842
Double major with comparative lit.

171
00:08:49,842 --> 00:08:52,753
- Oh, you'll have to play
something for me sometime.

172
00:08:52,753 --> 00:08:53,753
- All right.

173
00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:57,916
(guitar playing)

174
00:08:59,732 --> 00:09:02,638
- You know what the deal is with my room?

175
00:09:02,638 --> 00:09:03,471
Alan?

176
00:09:07,682 --> 00:09:09,062
Hey, Blaine.

177
00:09:09,062 --> 00:09:10,922
- Oh hey, Herman. Everything
okay with your room?

178
00:09:10,922 --> 00:09:11,902
Did you meet Alan?

179
00:09:11,902 --> 00:09:12,735
- Yeah, I was just wondering--

180
00:09:12,735 --> 00:09:14,302
- Oh, I gotta introduce you to Icky.

181
00:09:14,302 --> 00:09:16,072
Hey, Icky, get over here.

182
00:09:16,072 --> 00:09:16,982
- I was just wondering--

183
00:09:16,982 --> 00:09:19,092
- Oh, and the fifth guy,
Damon, he's at work,

184
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,772
so you can meet him when he gets back.

185
00:09:20,772 --> 00:09:21,642
Icky!

186
00:09:21,642 --> 00:09:25,242
- It's about my room.
There's a lotta stuff in it.

187
00:09:25,242 --> 00:09:27,192
Seems like somebody lives there?

188
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,502
- Yeah, that's Thaddeus.

189
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,112
He disappeared about five months ago.

190
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,302
- That's terrible.

191
00:09:31,302 --> 00:09:33,282
- These things happen. This is Icky.

192
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:34,975
- Oh, nice to meet you.

193
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,225
(coughing)

194
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,902
(coughing)

195
00:09:41,902 --> 00:09:44,135
- Did you ask him about the funeral?

196
00:09:44,135 --> 00:09:45,402
- Huh?

197
00:09:45,402 --> 00:09:47,252
- Look, Schubert, here's the thing.

198
00:09:47,252 --> 00:09:50,522
Thaddeus' mom wants us to pay
for an empty-casket funeral.

199
00:09:50,522 --> 00:09:52,832
Now, personally, I don't think he's dead,

200
00:09:52,832 --> 00:09:55,632
but she just won't shut up, so, you in?

201
00:09:55,632 --> 00:09:58,802
- Well how much is this gonna
cost? I don't have a job yet.

202
00:09:58,802 --> 00:10:01,452
- Well you better get one
soon. Rent's due in a week.

203
00:10:03,639 --> 00:10:06,091
(phone beeping)

204
00:10:06,091 --> 00:10:08,782
(phone ringing)

205
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,062
- [Receptionist] Hello, BECTech
Global Systems Incorporated.

206
00:10:11,062 --> 00:10:12,852
How may I direct your call?

207
00:10:12,852 --> 00:10:14,382
- I'm looking for a job.

208
00:10:14,382 --> 00:10:15,802
- [Receptionist] I'll
transfer you to Personnel.

209
00:10:15,802 --> 00:10:17,525
One moment please.

210
00:10:18,562 --> 00:10:23,312
(Receptionist imitating hold music)

211
00:10:23,312 --> 00:10:24,892
- [Man] Hello, Personnel.

212
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,892
- Hi, I'm looking for a job.

213
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:28,992
- [Man] Uh-huh. Do you
have a BA in world history?

214
00:10:28,992 --> 00:10:31,339
- Yeah. Yeah, I do.

215
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,262
- [Man] Uh-huh, we have
a position we'd like

216
00:10:33,262 --> 00:10:35,332
to fill with a world historian.

217
00:10:35,332 --> 00:10:36,515
- Well, that's great.

218
00:10:36,515 --> 00:10:39,012
- [Man] Can you start this Friday?

219
00:10:39,012 --> 00:10:40,902
- Tomorrow? Yeah, sure.

220
00:10:40,902 --> 00:10:43,072
- [Man] Super. Wear a tie.

221
00:10:43,072 --> 00:10:46,155
I'll give you the company's address.

222
00:10:46,155 --> 00:10:48,592
♪ I've got a job, I've got a job ♪

223
00:10:48,592 --> 00:10:50,035
♪ I've got a job ♪

224
00:10:50,035 --> 00:10:53,131
♪ I got a job ♪

225
00:10:53,131 --> 00:10:54,445
- I'm gonna need some clothes.

226
00:10:59,163 --> 00:10:59,996
Hm.

227
00:11:06,914 --> 00:11:10,447
(machine humming)

228
00:11:10,447 --> 00:11:14,286
♪ She broke my heart in two ♪

229
00:11:14,286 --> 00:11:17,522
♪ No Super Glue can put-- ♪

230
00:11:17,522 --> 00:11:18,355
- Oh.

231
00:11:19,272 --> 00:11:21,082
Hi, Herman. How's it going?

232
00:11:21,082 --> 00:11:23,345
- Good. Thought maybe
you'd play me a song.

233
00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:26,472
- What do you wanna hear?

234
00:11:26,472 --> 00:11:27,552
- Got any originals?

235
00:11:27,552 --> 00:11:28,572
- You wanna hear them?

236
00:11:28,572 --> 00:11:30,492
- Sure, I'd like to
hear anything you wrote.

237
00:11:30,492 --> 00:11:31,325
- Really?

238
00:11:32,432 --> 00:11:33,715
O, okay.

239
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:41,730
♪ Why do birds sing to me ♪

240
00:11:44,952 --> 00:11:46,245
- Oh my God.

241
00:11:48,282 --> 00:11:50,085
That's so good.

242
00:11:51,152 --> 00:11:52,552
- Really?

243
00:11:52,552 --> 00:11:53,385
- Yup.

244
00:12:03,852 --> 00:12:05,242
- Hi, Herman.

245
00:12:05,242 --> 00:12:07,162
- Hey, Icky. Where's Blaine?

246
00:12:07,162 --> 00:12:08,917
- Out in his garden.

247
00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:11,334
(soft music)

248
00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:18,212
- Hey, what are those signs?

249
00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:19,052
- Huh?

250
00:12:19,052 --> 00:12:20,942
- Thaddeus, that's the missing guy, right?

251
00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:22,612
What are those other names?

252
00:12:22,612 --> 00:12:26,442
- Oh, Thaddeus isn't the
first roommate to go missing.

253
00:12:26,442 --> 00:12:29,442
I was the one who replaced
Dicky when he disappeared.

254
00:12:29,442 --> 00:12:32,302
I think Alan replaced James,

255
00:12:32,302 --> 00:12:37,302
and Thaddeus replaced Ted, who
went missing nine months ago.

256
00:12:37,542 --> 00:12:39,042
- So, what are the signs for?

257
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:40,162
- I don't know.

258
00:12:41,281 --> 00:12:42,172
- Well, who put them there?

259
00:12:42,172 --> 00:12:43,855
- Clearly, someone did.

260
00:12:44,745 --> 00:12:47,662
(mysterious music)

261
00:12:56,881 --> 00:13:00,048
(gentle guitar music)

262
00:13:16,008 --> 00:13:18,175
(humming)

263
00:13:22,972 --> 00:13:24,528
- Ugh!

264
00:13:24,528 --> 00:13:25,382
You scared me.

265
00:13:25,382 --> 00:13:28,852
- You must be Herman. Hi, I'm Damon.

266
00:13:28,852 --> 00:13:30,022
- Nice to meet you.

267
00:13:30,022 --> 00:13:33,125
- You should be more careful.
You almost dropped something.

268
00:13:34,072 --> 00:13:37,605
I should warn you now. It's
a little pet peeve of mine.

269
00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:39,752
I don't like it when people leave their

270
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,562
clothes lying around.

271
00:13:41,562 --> 00:13:44,472
It really, really

272
00:13:45,972 --> 00:13:47,615
really bothers me.

273
00:13:49,522 --> 00:13:51,065
It's just so inconsiderate.

274
00:13:52,662 --> 00:13:55,625
- Okay, well, bedtime for me.

275
00:13:56,992 --> 00:13:58,975
- On the flip side,
Hermie (clicks tongue).

276
00:14:00,266 --> 00:14:02,005
- Hm, Hermie.

277
00:14:04,222 --> 00:14:05,994
- [Dad] You can leave us
a message if you want,

278
00:14:05,994 --> 00:14:07,639
but it won't do you much good (laughs).

279
00:14:09,535 --> 00:14:13,492
- Hey, Dad, life in the
real world is great.

280
00:14:13,492 --> 00:14:15,562
Been outta college for like nine hours,

281
00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,812
and I've already got a
job and a place to live,

282
00:14:17,812 --> 00:14:18,922
and my roommates are really nice,

283
00:14:18,922 --> 00:14:20,682
especially this one guy, Damon.

284
00:14:20,682 --> 00:14:22,462
He calls me Hermie.

285
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,512
I have to pitch in for this
other guy's funeral, though.

286
00:14:24,512 --> 00:14:25,345
Which is kinda weird, but it's still cool,

287
00:14:25,345 --> 00:14:27,192
because I stole all his stuff.

288
00:14:27,192 --> 00:14:30,562
Plus, I start my job tomorrow.

289
00:14:30,562 --> 00:14:32,112
I guess I'll keep you updated,

290
00:14:32,112 --> 00:14:34,925
but, on the flip side.

291
00:14:38,292 --> 00:14:40,255
Hm. Lost a sock.

292
00:14:42,042 --> 00:14:44,625
(dreamy music)

293
00:14:46,279 --> 00:14:49,029
(drums pounding)

294
00:15:08,252 --> 00:15:09,702
- Hi, Herman.

295
00:15:09,702 --> 00:15:12,142
- Getting started kinda early, aren't you?

296
00:15:12,142 --> 00:15:14,482
- I just invented a
whole new kinda drumbeat

297
00:15:14,482 --> 00:15:17,782
using my music theory, wanna
know what the song's called?

298
00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:19,382
The Herman.

299
00:15:19,382 --> 00:15:22,995
I'm turning it into a symphony.
You inspired me, dude.

300
00:15:24,742 --> 00:15:25,575
- Cool.

301
00:15:27,111 --> 00:15:29,861
(drums pounding)

302
00:15:38,863 --> 00:15:41,946
(drumming continues)

303
00:15:44,436 --> 00:15:45,269
Oh.

304
00:15:46,832 --> 00:15:47,775
Thanks, Thaddeus.

305
00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:52,607
(birds chirping)

306
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:11,092
- How far is this place?

307
00:16:11,092 --> 00:16:14,395
- Oh, it's not too far.
Oh, my name's Bart.

308
00:16:15,422 --> 00:16:16,362
- Nice to meet you.

309
00:16:16,362 --> 00:16:17,822
- Yeah, I usually bring a book with me,

310
00:16:17,822 --> 00:16:20,145
but I forgot today.

311
00:16:21,032 --> 00:16:23,222
We could do something to pass the time.

312
00:16:23,222 --> 00:16:25,575
You know, like charades, trivia, make out.

313
00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:29,205
- Uh, no thanks.

314
00:16:30,802 --> 00:16:31,635
- That's okay.

315
00:16:31,635 --> 00:16:33,805
I didn't really wanna
make out with you anyway.

316
00:16:34,682 --> 00:16:35,832
Maybe on the ride back?

317
00:17:15,612 --> 00:17:18,802
- Schumacher? The world historian?

318
00:17:18,802 --> 00:17:19,872
- Yeah.

319
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,038
- Come with me.

320
00:17:21,038 --> 00:17:24,205
(gentle guitar music)

321
00:17:43,872 --> 00:17:45,235
All right, Schumacher.

322
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:49,092
You can take over on Larry's hole here.

323
00:17:49,092 --> 00:17:52,125
We had to let him go
because he forgot his tie.

324
00:17:55,780 --> 00:17:58,372
- I'm supposed to dig?

325
00:17:58,372 --> 00:18:00,215
- Do a super job, Schumacher.

326
00:18:12,502 --> 00:18:13,802
- Hey, man, why don't you start digging?

327
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,735
You're making us look bad, Four Eyes.

328
00:18:17,616 --> 00:18:20,783
(gentle guitar music)

329
00:18:26,832 --> 00:18:30,162
- Hey, are all you guys world historians?

330
00:18:30,162 --> 00:18:33,525
- Well, obviously. Dumb monkey head.

331
00:18:41,702 --> 00:18:45,002
- Herman? Herman Schumacher?

332
00:18:45,002 --> 00:18:46,952
It's me. It's Hugo.

333
00:18:46,952 --> 00:18:50,881
- Oh hey. Hey, you stole all my stuff.

334
00:18:50,881 --> 00:18:52,472
- Wow, I didn't think you were gonna be

335
00:18:52,472 --> 00:18:54,162
working here this fast.

336
00:18:54,162 --> 00:18:57,172
Hey, you wanna buy an engraved pen?

337
00:18:57,172 --> 00:18:58,372
- That's my pen.

338
00:18:58,372 --> 00:19:00,402
- Well it could be yours for $10.

339
00:19:00,402 --> 00:19:01,702
- It says Herman Schumacher on it.

340
00:19:01,702 --> 00:19:05,132
- I know, that's why I'm giving
you such a great deal on it.

341
00:19:05,132 --> 00:19:07,392
- No, you stole all my stuff.

342
00:19:07,392 --> 00:19:08,852
- You left it with me.

343
00:19:08,852 --> 00:19:10,114
- You drove off.

344
00:19:10,114 --> 00:19:11,712
- With all your stuff.

345
00:19:11,712 --> 00:19:12,702
- Exactly.

346
00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:14,132
- What?
- Huh?

347
00:19:14,132 --> 00:19:18,032
- Look, I don't have all
day. Last chance, 10 bucks.

348
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,522
- No.

349
00:19:19,522 --> 00:19:20,632
- I'll take it.

350
00:19:20,632 --> 00:19:21,782
- Sold.

351
00:19:21,782 --> 00:19:23,032
- That's my pen.

352
00:19:23,032 --> 00:19:24,022
- Maybe I'd have bought it for you

353
00:19:24,022 --> 00:19:26,085
if you made out with me, Sugar Buns.

354
00:19:35,929 --> 00:19:37,000
- Whew.

355
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,667
(phone beeping)

356
00:19:41,688 --> 00:19:44,355
(phone ringing)

357
00:19:45,462 --> 00:19:46,535
- [Carrie's Mother] Hello.

358
00:19:47,372 --> 00:19:49,129
- Hi, is Carrie there?

359
00:19:49,129 --> 00:19:51,413
- [Carrie's Mother] Oh, yeah, hold on.

360
00:19:51,413 --> 00:19:53,825
Hey, Carrie, telephone.

361
00:19:55,852 --> 00:19:57,062
- [Carrie] Hello.

362
00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:00,145
- Hi, Carrie, it's Herman.
Do you remember me?

363
00:20:01,152 --> 00:20:02,472
- [Carrie] Didn't I tell
you to call tomorrow

364
00:20:02,472 --> 00:20:03,572
between one and three?

365
00:20:04,632 --> 00:20:06,652
- I'm sorry. Is that a big deal?

366
00:20:06,652 --> 00:20:08,082
- [Carrie] No, it's just
when my parents are gone.

367
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,452
I'm sorry, I'm just a little embarrassed

368
00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:11,334
to be living at home.

369
00:20:11,334 --> 00:20:12,432
- That's all right.

370
00:20:12,432 --> 00:20:13,632
If it were at all feasible,

371
00:20:13,632 --> 00:20:15,332
I would still live with my parents.

372
00:20:15,332 --> 00:20:17,315
- [Carrie] Well, as long as
we're on the phone talking,

373
00:20:17,315 --> 00:20:18,825
are we going out tonight?

374
00:20:20,122 --> 00:20:22,852
- I guess, but I don't have a car. Do you?

375
00:20:22,852 --> 00:20:25,012
- [Carrie] Oh God, my parents would never

376
00:20:25,012 --> 00:20:26,025
let me take the car.

377
00:20:27,262 --> 00:20:30,232
- Well, I'm sure I can take
one of my roommates' cars.

378
00:20:30,232 --> 00:20:32,732
- Yeah, you can take Thaddeus' car.

379
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:37,156
- He left his car? Are
you sure he just ran off?

380
00:20:37,156 --> 00:20:38,442
- Well I assume he joined the same cult

381
00:20:38,442 --> 00:20:39,965
as Dicky, Ted and James.

382
00:20:41,122 --> 00:20:43,395
- Oh, so you know they joined the cult?

383
00:20:44,372 --> 00:20:45,515
- I assume.

384
00:20:47,552 --> 00:20:49,145
- Whatever, where are the keys?

385
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:50,915
- I think they're still in that

386
00:20:50,915 --> 00:20:52,622
bloody pair of pants in the garage.

387
00:20:56,232 --> 00:20:57,065
- Ew.

388
00:21:08,222 --> 00:21:10,504
(machine humming)

389
00:21:10,504 --> 00:21:11,554
Oh, hi ya, Miss Sock.

390
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:15,063
I guess not.

391
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:21,236
(mysterious music)

392
00:21:22,632 --> 00:21:23,465
Hello?

393
00:21:30,032 --> 00:21:31,412
Damon?

394
00:21:31,412 --> 00:21:32,245
- What's up, Hermie?

395
00:21:32,245 --> 00:21:34,612
- Are there any animals in this house,

396
00:21:34,612 --> 00:21:37,025
like a cat or a trapped
raccoon or something?

397
00:21:37,025 --> 00:21:40,512
Because I swear, some kind
animal just ran off with a sock.

398
00:21:40,512 --> 00:21:41,922
- No pets.

399
00:21:41,922 --> 00:21:45,422
If there was a trapped
raccoon, as long as it keeps

400
00:21:45,422 --> 00:21:47,935
picking up clothing, it's okay in my book.

401
00:21:49,102 --> 00:21:52,226
Because you remember how I feel about

402
00:21:52,226 --> 00:21:56,792
clothing lying around, right, Hermie?

403
00:21:56,792 --> 00:21:58,156
- I'm on top of it.

404
00:21:58,156 --> 00:22:00,989
(tongue clicking)

405
00:22:02,882 --> 00:22:05,555
- I know a lot about world history.

406
00:22:07,074 --> 00:22:07,982
Oh yeah.

407
00:22:07,982 --> 00:22:11,902
- Dude. Do not use my comb.

408
00:22:11,902 --> 00:22:13,462
- Oh, I'm sorry.

409
00:22:13,462 --> 00:22:16,682
- Whatever. Get your own comb, tit.

410
00:22:16,682 --> 00:22:17,515
- Ow.

411
00:22:25,562 --> 00:22:28,575
Yeah. You're the man, Herman.

412
00:22:30,782 --> 00:22:32,192
- Hey, Herman, come on in.

413
00:22:32,192 --> 00:22:33,912
I'm not quite ready yet, but you can,

414
00:22:33,912 --> 00:22:35,592
you can just kinda hang out
with my little brother, Mark.

415
00:22:35,592 --> 00:22:38,162
Hey, Mark! Mark, come say hi to Herman.

416
00:22:38,162 --> 00:22:39,802
- Ow! Ah!

417
00:22:39,802 --> 00:22:41,162
- Be nice.

418
00:22:41,162 --> 00:22:43,022
- All right, now listen--

419
00:22:43,022 --> 00:22:44,125
Ow! Ow, ow!

420
00:22:46,717 --> 00:22:48,063
Ow! I am warning you, Mis--

421
00:22:48,063 --> 00:22:48,896
Ow.

422
00:22:51,129 --> 00:22:53,218
Now I'm gonna sit in this chair over here.

423
00:22:53,218 --> 00:22:54,051
Ah!

424
00:22:56,015 --> 00:22:59,202
(dramatic music)

425
00:22:59,202 --> 00:23:01,535
(screaming)

426
00:23:09,212 --> 00:23:10,729
- It's on, buttface!

427
00:23:12,522 --> 00:23:15,199
- You're the one with
the buttface, buttface!

428
00:23:18,513 --> 00:23:20,846
(screaming)

429
00:23:21,964 --> 00:23:22,797
Oh.

430
00:23:24,066 --> 00:23:26,233
(moaning)

431
00:23:31,672 --> 00:23:32,745
Are you okay?

432
00:23:33,881 --> 00:23:34,797
(screaming)

433
00:23:34,797 --> 00:23:36,881
(groaning)

434
00:23:36,881 --> 00:23:37,714
I'm blind.

435
00:23:38,981 --> 00:23:41,525
Where are you? You little bastard.

436
00:23:41,525 --> 00:23:42,358
Oh!

437
00:23:44,905 --> 00:23:47,331
(groaning)

438
00:23:47,331 --> 00:23:50,081
(dramatic music)

439
00:23:55,266 --> 00:23:58,286
(groaning)

440
00:23:58,286 --> 00:23:59,119
- Herman!

441
00:24:02,262 --> 00:24:03,235
- He started it.

442
00:24:05,552 --> 00:24:07,442
- I'm really sorry about Mark.

443
00:24:07,442 --> 00:24:10,365
- Oh, it's okay. They're just my eyes.

444
00:24:13,002 --> 00:24:15,552
- Is this blood on your dashboard?

445
00:24:15,552 --> 00:24:16,932
- It's not my car.

446
00:24:16,932 --> 00:24:20,082
So, I'm thinking maybe we'll see a movie.

447
00:24:20,082 --> 00:24:23,265
Then I know this nice
little Italian restaurant.

448
00:24:24,108 --> 00:24:26,095
- I was thinking we could just have sex.

449
00:24:29,932 --> 00:24:31,255
- I understand.

450
00:24:32,273 --> 00:24:33,742
(upbeat music)

451
00:24:33,742 --> 00:24:35,132
Would you care for a drink?

452
00:24:35,132 --> 00:24:36,132
- Where's your room?

453
00:24:40,942 --> 00:24:42,949
So tell me more about world history.

454
00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:45,452
- Well, in the 20 years
after the death of Mohammed

455
00:24:45,452 --> 00:24:49,482
in 632 AD, the Muslim armies
of the first four caliphs

456
00:24:49,482 --> 00:24:52,432
conquered Persia, Syria and parts of Iraq.

457
00:24:52,432 --> 00:24:55,859
- God, that's so hot! Okay, now, come on.

458
00:24:55,859 --> 00:24:56,759
Now now now.

459
00:24:57,782 --> 00:24:59,372
- Shouldn't we use protection?

460
00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:00,532
Shouldn't we at least shut the door?

461
00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:01,365
- No!

462
00:25:03,478 --> 00:25:04,311
Yeah!

463
00:25:08,316 --> 00:25:11,442
Whew! That was some good sex.

464
00:25:11,442 --> 00:25:14,057
Even if you blacked out there for a while.

465
00:25:14,057 --> 00:25:14,890
(moaning)

466
00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:16,525
Yeah, well, I gotta go home.

467
00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:20,620
(drums beating)

468
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:22,292
What's that noise?

469
00:25:22,292 --> 00:25:26,684
- Oh, that's my roommate
Alan. Isn't that annoying?

470
00:25:26,684 --> 00:25:29,101
(drum music)

471
00:25:33,452 --> 00:25:35,532
- Oh, hi there.

472
00:25:35,532 --> 00:25:38,162
- Don't stop because of
me. I was just listening.

473
00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:40,162
So, what are you playing?

474
00:25:40,162 --> 00:25:43,132
- I'm composing a
revolutionary new symphony

475
00:25:43,132 --> 00:25:46,272
that bends all the rules of music theory.

476
00:25:46,272 --> 00:25:49,155
- Ooh, wow, you know, I've always been

477
00:25:49,155 --> 00:25:52,302
fascinated by music theory.

478
00:25:52,302 --> 00:25:53,135
- Really?

479
00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:55,385
- Oh, hey, Alan.

480
00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:58,512
Carrie, this is Alan.
Alan, this is Carrie.

481
00:25:58,512 --> 00:25:59,822
- I'm his girlfriend.

482
00:25:59,822 --> 00:26:01,042
- Oh, nice to meet you.

483
00:26:01,042 --> 00:26:04,512
- Well, I'm sure we will be
seeing a lot of each other.

484
00:26:04,512 --> 00:26:05,345
Come on, Herman.

485
00:26:05,345 --> 00:26:06,415
- Hm, girlfriend.

486
00:26:09,971 --> 00:26:13,221
(soft xylophone music)

487
00:26:23,732 --> 00:26:26,192
- I understand why you left.

488
00:26:26,192 --> 00:26:30,239
(soft xylophone music)

489
00:26:30,239 --> 00:26:32,772
- Oh, Herman. Did you hear that?

490
00:26:32,772 --> 00:26:34,425
It's called Herman and
His Girlfriend Carrie.

491
00:26:34,425 --> 00:26:36,412
It's the romantic second movement

492
00:26:36,412 --> 00:26:38,485
to my Herman Schumacher symphony.

493
00:26:39,552 --> 00:26:42,175
- Yeah. Listen.

494
00:26:43,012 --> 00:26:43,845
Alan.

495
00:26:43,845 --> 00:26:44,932
- Chartreuse.

496
00:26:44,932 --> 00:26:45,765
- Huh?

497
00:26:45,765 --> 00:26:48,575
- I changed my name to the
creative signature Chartreuse.

498
00:26:49,842 --> 00:26:52,532
- Okay, Chartreuse.

499
00:26:52,532 --> 00:26:55,952
I was thinking that maybe,
like, just in the mornings

500
00:26:55,952 --> 00:26:59,245
at least, maybe you could
keep it down a little.

501
00:27:00,115 --> 00:27:01,465
Because it's hard to sleep.

502
00:27:06,132 --> 00:27:06,965
Alan?

503
00:27:06,965 --> 00:27:07,798
- Asshole!

504
00:27:07,798 --> 00:27:09,972
Who do you think you are to question me,

505
00:27:09,972 --> 00:27:11,912
the Great Chartreuse?

506
00:27:11,912 --> 00:27:13,915
Get out! Out!

507
00:27:17,492 --> 00:27:19,715
- Guess I should get ready for work.

508
00:27:25,292 --> 00:27:26,662
Hey, guys.

509
00:27:26,662 --> 00:27:27,832
- Morning, Herman.

510
00:27:27,832 --> 00:27:29,052
- Hey, Schuler.

511
00:27:29,052 --> 00:27:30,032
- Schumacher.

512
00:27:30,032 --> 00:27:31,782
Hey, doesn't it kinda
piss you off when Alan

513
00:27:31,782 --> 00:27:33,552
plays his music so loud?

514
00:27:33,552 --> 00:27:36,282
- Actually, I hadn't even
noticed that Chartreuse

515
00:27:36,282 --> 00:27:38,642
played any music until you moved in.

516
00:27:38,642 --> 00:27:41,455
Chartreuse says you inspired Chartreuse.

517
00:27:42,722 --> 00:27:47,722
- But, isn't it awful
annoying and inconsiderate?

518
00:27:47,772 --> 00:27:51,002
- You know what I find
annoying and inconsiderate?

519
00:27:51,002 --> 00:27:53,082
When someone uses my comb.

520
00:27:53,082 --> 00:27:56,712
- Besides, we don't wanna
stifle Chartreuse's creativity.

521
00:27:56,712 --> 00:27:58,362
- I can't even hear myself think.

522
00:27:59,712 --> 00:28:04,435
- I find it hard to think when
someone uses my comb, A-hole!

523
00:28:06,292 --> 00:28:07,125
- Never mind.

524
00:28:14,122 --> 00:28:17,632
- Hey, I'll let you have
this shirt for 20 bucks.

525
00:28:17,632 --> 00:28:18,832
- That's my shirt.

526
00:28:18,832 --> 00:28:20,202
- 10 bucks.

527
00:28:20,202 --> 00:28:21,505
- I'll take it.
- Sold.

528
00:28:33,599 --> 00:28:35,305
- That's not a word.

529
00:28:36,312 --> 00:28:38,162
- Blaine, is

530
00:28:39,208 --> 00:28:43,882
(speaks gibberish) a word?

531
00:28:43,882 --> 00:28:44,772
- Who used it?

532
00:28:44,772 --> 00:28:46,152
- Me.

533
00:28:46,152 --> 00:28:47,145
- Yes.

534
00:28:48,172 --> 00:28:49,005
- I'm going out.

535
00:28:51,247 --> 00:28:52,755
- Do you mind if I tag along?

536
00:28:54,012 --> 00:28:55,659
- Sure. Why not?

537
00:28:58,068 --> 00:29:01,322
(light music)

538
00:29:01,322 --> 00:29:03,872
- Hey, Hermie, how you liking the house?

539
00:29:03,872 --> 00:29:06,602
- Pretty good. I've been
meaning to ask you, though.

540
00:29:06,602 --> 00:29:09,417
What's the deal with the
signs in the backyard?

541
00:29:09,417 --> 00:29:11,692
- You know, to be honest,

542
00:29:11,692 --> 00:29:13,642
I don't get to the backyard that often.

543
00:29:15,372 --> 00:29:17,622
- [Herman] So, what exactly are we doing?

544
00:29:17,622 --> 00:29:19,702
- [Damon] Oh, we're just
getting some exercise.

545
00:29:19,702 --> 00:29:21,882
- [Herman] I get a lotta
exercise at my job.

546
00:29:21,882 --> 00:29:24,332
- [Damon] Really? What do you do?

547
00:29:24,332 --> 00:29:25,862
- [Herman] I dig a hole, I guess.

548
00:29:25,862 --> 00:29:28,732
- Ah, world historian, I see.

549
00:29:28,732 --> 00:29:31,242
You know, I thought about
majoring in that in college.

550
00:29:31,242 --> 00:29:32,552
But instead I got a double major

551
00:29:32,552 --> 00:29:35,142
in physics and comparative lit.

552
00:29:35,142 --> 00:29:36,156
- Wow.

553
00:29:36,156 --> 00:29:37,039
- Yeah.

554
00:29:37,039 --> 00:29:39,539
(light music)

555
00:30:03,532 --> 00:30:04,365
Herman?

556
00:30:05,432 --> 00:30:07,252
Do you need to go to the bathroom?

557
00:30:07,252 --> 00:30:08,892
- Yeah, kinda.

558
00:30:08,892 --> 00:30:10,582
- About how long will that take you?

559
00:30:10,582 --> 00:30:12,242
- Like a minute.

560
00:30:12,242 --> 00:30:13,665
- Okay, got it.

561
00:30:14,801 --> 00:30:15,777
Go ahead.

562
00:30:15,777 --> 00:30:18,860
(upbeat light music)

563
00:30:27,929 --> 00:30:29,636
(screaming)

564
00:30:29,636 --> 00:30:32,469
(toilet flushing)

565
00:30:33,442 --> 00:30:37,072
Ooh, look at me. I'm jogging
by, now I'm gonna stretch.

566
00:30:37,072 --> 00:30:38,471
Stretch.

567
00:30:38,471 --> 00:30:41,554
(upbeat light music)

568
00:30:43,346 --> 00:30:44,496
Oh, man.

569
00:30:44,496 --> 00:30:47,579
(upbeat light music)

570
00:30:49,437 --> 00:30:51,770
(screaming)

571
00:30:53,353 --> 00:30:55,205
- On the flip side.

572
00:30:55,205 --> 00:30:57,538
(screaming)

573
00:30:59,042 --> 00:31:01,292
(groaning)

574
00:31:12,553 --> 00:31:14,372
- Took you long enough.

575
00:31:14,372 --> 00:31:15,205
- Sorry.

576
00:31:16,282 --> 00:31:17,115
- It's okay.

577
00:31:18,232 --> 00:31:19,065
Let's go home.

578
00:31:24,152 --> 00:31:26,392
- Super job there, Schumacher.

579
00:31:26,392 --> 00:31:28,215
- Thanks, I have a question, though.

580
00:31:29,502 --> 00:31:31,632
Why are we digging holes?

581
00:31:31,632 --> 00:31:35,780
- Because we work for BECTech
Global Systems Incorporated.

582
00:31:35,780 --> 00:31:38,402
(cheering)

583
00:31:38,402 --> 00:31:42,972
- Well, are we gonna put
anything in the holes?

584
00:31:42,972 --> 00:31:45,052
- No, we're not gonna put
anything in the holes.

585
00:31:45,052 --> 00:31:48,002
If we did that, then they
wouldn't be holes anymore.

586
00:31:48,002 --> 00:31:50,732
Now we got a large order
of holes this month,

587
00:31:50,732 --> 00:31:54,582
and except for Schumacher, all
you are working way too slow.

588
00:31:54,582 --> 00:31:56,125
Super job there, Schumacher.

589
00:31:59,691 --> 00:32:02,524
(shovel scraping)

590
00:32:07,595 --> 00:32:09,802
- I don't like the way you dig.

591
00:32:09,802 --> 00:32:11,334
- Excuse me.

592
00:32:11,334 --> 00:32:13,052
- I don't like the way you dig, man.

593
00:32:13,052 --> 00:32:14,352
You're making us look bad.

594
00:32:15,842 --> 00:32:18,442
- Well maybe you should try
digging a little faster.

595
00:32:19,542 --> 00:32:22,452
- Don't like the way you dig, bitch ass.

596
00:32:22,452 --> 00:32:23,885
Hole, I'll dig you a hole.

597
00:32:25,113 --> 00:32:26,725
Holes dig all the time.

598
00:32:27,847 --> 00:32:31,649
(crickets chirping)

599
00:32:31,649 --> 00:32:34,892
- Oh, I'm bored. Hey, let's do it.

600
00:32:34,892 --> 00:32:36,132
- I'm busy.

601
00:32:36,132 --> 00:32:39,112
- Oh, come on, gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!

602
00:32:39,112 --> 00:32:41,585
- Take it easy. I need
to finish my laundry.

603
00:32:44,392 --> 00:32:48,722
- Hey, tell me more about world history.

604
00:32:48,722 --> 00:32:49,912
- Aren't you interested in anything

605
00:32:49,912 --> 00:32:51,900
other than world history?

606
00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:52,750
- I like Pokemon.

607
00:32:54,102 --> 00:32:55,112
You know that Japanese--

608
00:32:55,112 --> 00:32:56,455
- I know what it is.

609
00:32:57,612 --> 00:33:00,862
- I'm bored. God, you're
boring a hole in my sk--

610
00:33:00,862 --> 00:33:04,022
- Look, could you go
ask Alan, or Chartreuse,

611
00:33:04,022 --> 00:33:05,895
to play you a song or something?

612
00:33:07,729 --> 00:33:10,229
(piano music)

613
00:33:15,395 --> 00:33:17,242
(banging on piano)

614
00:33:17,242 --> 00:33:18,842
- Hey, Chartreuse.

615
00:33:18,842 --> 00:33:20,092
- Hi, Carrie.

616
00:33:20,092 --> 00:33:21,245
- Hey, why don't you tell me a little bit

617
00:33:21,245 --> 00:33:23,465
more about music theory?

618
00:33:28,033 --> 00:33:30,200
(banging)

619
00:33:36,373 --> 00:33:38,373
- [Carrie] Oh, yes, woo!

620
00:33:39,379 --> 00:33:40,629
Oh God, uh-huh!

621
00:33:43,157 --> 00:33:44,465
Ooh.

622
00:33:51,287 --> 00:33:52,454
Oh yes, my ...

623
00:33:54,361 --> 00:33:55,194
In my ...

624
00:33:58,156 --> 00:34:00,782
(Carrie applauding)

625
00:34:00,782 --> 00:34:02,972
- Carrie, is everything all right?

626
00:34:02,972 --> 00:34:04,762
- Just fine, sweetie.

627
00:34:04,762 --> 00:34:06,112
- What were you guys doing?

628
00:34:07,762 --> 00:34:10,372
- He was just playing me his symphony.

629
00:34:10,372 --> 00:34:13,002
- I've lengthened the title
to the Herman Schumacher

630
00:34:13,002 --> 00:34:16,085
Is a Fucking Asshole Symphony in D Minor.

631
00:34:17,012 --> 00:34:18,312
- I didn't hear any music.

632
00:34:20,382 --> 00:34:21,482
- It was intermission.

633
00:34:30,333 --> 00:34:33,864
- [Carrie] Oh, I love having
sex with you, Chartreuse!

634
00:34:33,864 --> 00:34:35,669
- [Alan] What about Herman?

635
00:34:35,669 --> 00:34:37,935
- He'll never find out. Woo-hoo!

636
00:34:46,992 --> 00:34:48,612
Take me home.

637
00:34:48,612 --> 00:34:49,952
- Can't you ...

638
00:34:49,952 --> 00:34:51,372
What happened to you?

639
00:34:51,372 --> 00:34:52,805
- What are you doing?

640
00:34:53,782 --> 00:34:54,722
- I'm trying to catch the thing

641
00:34:54,722 --> 00:34:56,762
that's been stealing my socks.

642
00:34:56,762 --> 00:34:58,242
You look over there.

643
00:34:58,242 --> 00:35:00,175
- I have a curfew, you know.

644
00:35:01,922 --> 00:35:02,755
- Fine.

645
00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:15,572
- Listen, Herman.
- Yeah, on the flip side.

646
00:35:19,276 --> 00:35:24,276
♪ And then I had sex with
Herman's girlfriend ♪

647
00:35:24,512 --> 00:35:25,625
- Oh, hi, Herman.

648
00:35:26,572 --> 00:35:28,632
- Hey, have you heard
any of the Herman Schultz

649
00:35:28,632 --> 00:35:29,972
Is a Fucking Asshole Symphony?

650
00:35:29,972 --> 00:35:30,805
- Schumacher.

651
00:35:30,805 --> 00:35:31,638
- In D Minor.

652
00:35:31,638 --> 00:35:33,305
- It's fabulous.
- Yeah.

653
00:35:34,607 --> 00:35:36,292
- What's with the stupid getup?

654
00:35:36,292 --> 00:35:40,312
- Clearly, you know nothing
about fashion, stink wanker.

655
00:35:40,312 --> 00:35:42,362
This is the sort of cutting-edge garb

656
00:35:42,362 --> 00:35:44,562
that Chartreuse would wear.

657
00:35:44,562 --> 00:35:46,925
Alan's wardrobe was so, blah.

658
00:35:48,702 --> 00:35:50,292
- I guess.

659
00:35:50,292 --> 00:35:52,432
- Alan Bryan is dead anyway.

660
00:35:52,432 --> 00:35:55,742
There is only Chartreuse now.

661
00:35:55,742 --> 00:35:58,664
- Well I should tell you that
you look like shit.

662
00:35:59,095 --> 00:36:00,477
- How dare you (cries)?

663
00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:05,620
- Chartreuse, come back!

664
00:36:05,620 --> 00:36:07,310
- Way to go.

665
00:36:07,310 --> 00:36:08,660
Why didn't you just use his comb

666
00:36:08,660 --> 00:36:10,550
while you were at it, A-hole?

667
00:36:14,226 --> 00:36:15,660
(sighing)

668
00:36:15,660 --> 00:36:16,493
- Hm.

669
00:36:23,009 --> 00:36:24,420
Do we have any rope?

670
00:36:24,420 --> 00:36:26,030
- Hah?

671
00:36:26,030 --> 00:36:29,133
- I'm coming for you, oh
yeah. I'm gonna get you.

672
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:32,653
I know you're out there.

673
00:36:35,623 --> 00:36:37,814
(yawning)

674
00:36:37,814 --> 00:36:40,731
(mysterious music)

675
00:36:51,771 --> 00:36:54,030
(sighing)

676
00:36:54,030 --> 00:36:57,080
- Icky, where's Alan?

677
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,073
- Chartreuse is up in his room.

678
00:37:01,794 --> 00:37:03,783
- Thank you, Icky.

679
00:37:05,568 --> 00:37:08,900
(Alan whimpering)

680
00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:10,533
Time to die, Alan.

681
00:37:12,052 --> 00:37:13,423
- My name is Chartreuse.

682
00:37:13,423 --> 00:37:15,263
(Damon screaming)

683
00:37:15,263 --> 00:37:19,640
- Free sock. Come and get
it, you little bastard.

684
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,930
Look at it. It's so
delicious, it's socktastic.

685
00:37:22,930 --> 00:37:25,394
- Hey, Hermie.
- Oh, hey, Damon.

686
00:37:25,394 --> 00:37:27,450
- Sock, sock, sock.

687
00:37:27,450 --> 00:37:28,597
- What you up to?

688
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:33,013
- Trying to catch the thing
that's been stealing my socks.

689
00:37:33,013 --> 00:37:34,470
What's up with you?

690
00:37:34,470 --> 00:37:37,500
- Just cleaning up.

691
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:40,183
- Come and feel the joy of socks.

692
00:37:41,540 --> 00:37:43,833
- You're not gonna leave that
sock on the ground, are you?

693
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,800
- Oh, don't worry. I'm all over it.

694
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:47,663
It's bait.

695
00:37:50,710 --> 00:37:51,803
- That's okay then.

696
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,260
Good luck.

697
00:37:54,260 --> 00:37:55,093
- Thanks.

698
00:37:55,093 --> 00:37:57,090
- On the flip side,
Hermie (clicks tongue).

699
00:37:57,090 --> 00:37:58,383
- On the flip side.

700
00:38:02,045 --> 00:38:04,795
(Herman snoring)

701
00:38:09,007 --> 00:38:12,424
(light mysterious music)

702
00:38:24,807 --> 00:38:26,650
(banging)

703
00:38:26,650 --> 00:38:29,720
Gee, I guess nothing is here.

704
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:33,502
I better just go upstairs.

705
00:38:33,502 --> 00:38:34,727
(monster squealing)

706
00:38:34,727 --> 00:38:37,031
(screaming)

707
00:38:37,031 --> 00:38:40,448
(light mysterious music)

708
00:38:42,690 --> 00:38:44,881
- Morning, Herman.

709
00:38:44,881 --> 00:38:48,298
(light mysterious music)

710
00:38:50,162 --> 00:38:54,294
- So, yeah, I won't be in to
work today. I'm real sick.

711
00:38:54,294 --> 00:38:56,544
(coughing)

712
00:38:57,500 --> 00:39:00,543
Yeah, you hear that? I'll
probably be in tomorrow, bye.

713
00:39:02,690 --> 00:39:06,180
- So, if there is a
monkey in our basement,

714
00:39:06,180 --> 00:39:08,460
why don't we call the police?

715
00:39:08,460 --> 00:39:12,204
- Because, Icky, that thing has my socks.

716
00:39:12,204 --> 00:39:14,621
(bell music)

717
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,640
Icky, how far back does this go?

718
00:39:24,683 --> 00:39:26,740
- I don't know.

719
00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:28,299
- Here, hold this.

720
00:39:28,299 --> 00:39:30,799
(light music)

721
00:39:32,655 --> 00:39:33,488
Ah!

722
00:39:36,986 --> 00:39:37,819
- Herman?

723
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:44,513
- Icky.

724
00:39:45,611 --> 00:39:48,596
(Icky moaning)

725
00:39:48,596 --> 00:39:51,096
(light music)

726
00:40:06,141 --> 00:40:08,974
(machine humming)

727
00:40:10,580 --> 00:40:11,413
Hello?

728
00:40:19,347 --> 00:40:22,514
(footsteps advancing)

729
00:40:25,270 --> 00:40:26,103
Ow, gosh!

730
00:40:30,394 --> 00:40:31,563
What the hell?

731
00:40:31,563 --> 00:40:34,063
(light music)

732
00:41:08,210 --> 00:41:10,793
(gentle music)

733
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,353
- There you are. Did you catch it?

734
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:49,246
- Icky, who put that
Chartreuse sign out there?

735
00:41:49,246 --> 00:41:51,100
- I don't know.

736
00:41:51,100 --> 00:41:52,413
Maybe Chartreuse did.

737
00:41:54,070 --> 00:41:55,083
- Wait, sh, sh.

738
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:58,140
Something's different.

739
00:41:59,210 --> 00:42:00,043
The house.

740
00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:02,533
It's quiet.

741
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,193
Alan?

742
00:42:09,930 --> 00:42:11,520
Oh, there you are. Have you seen Alan?

743
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:12,990
- Uh, he moved out.

744
00:42:12,990 --> 00:42:15,150
- Without taking his
instruments or his sheet music?

745
00:42:15,150 --> 00:42:16,830
- Well he's not here, is he?

746
00:42:16,830 --> 00:42:18,600
- Well where did he go?

747
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,300
- I assume he joined a cult.

748
00:42:20,300 --> 00:42:22,100
Here, we need to get these out ASAP.

749
00:42:25,937 --> 00:42:28,854
(mysterious music)

750
00:42:35,129 --> 00:42:36,500
- Are you okay?

751
00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:37,703
- Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

752
00:42:39,499 --> 00:42:42,470
- Mm, do you think
Chartreuse is gonna mind

753
00:42:42,470 --> 00:42:44,940
that we're gonna use his
room for dirty, dirty sex?

754
00:42:44,940 --> 00:42:47,700
- No, I think Chartreuse is dead.

755
00:42:47,700 --> 00:42:48,658
- What?

756
00:42:48,658 --> 00:42:50,878
- Ooh.

757
00:42:50,878 --> 00:42:52,118
There he is.

758
00:42:52,118 --> 00:42:53,120
- Who, Chartreuse?

759
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,433
- No, Blaine. Chartreuse is dead.

760
00:42:56,610 --> 00:42:58,160
- [Carrie] He's dead?

761
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,470
- I think Blaine buried
Chartreuse in the backyard.

762
00:43:01,470 --> 00:43:03,320
I've gotta get a look at that garden.

763
00:43:04,530 --> 00:43:06,720
- Oh, Chartreuse.

764
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:10,120
Now all I have to remember
him by is all that sex.

765
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:11,593
- So what I'm thinking is ...

766
00:43:12,910 --> 00:43:13,743
Wait, what?

767
00:43:13,743 --> 00:43:14,576
- Huh?

768
00:43:14,576 --> 00:43:15,940
- Ooh, now's our chance.

769
00:43:15,940 --> 00:43:18,830
You distract Blaine,
and I will go out back

770
00:43:18,830 --> 00:43:21,360
and dig up Chartreuse's corpse.

771
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,383
- Oh, Chartreuse.

772
00:43:23,383 --> 00:43:26,050
(water running)

773
00:43:30,612 --> 00:43:31,862
Uh, hi, Blaine.

774
00:43:32,886 --> 00:43:34,609
- Oh, hi, Carrie.

775
00:43:34,609 --> 00:43:36,580
- What you doing?

776
00:43:36,580 --> 00:43:37,790
- Just washing my hands.

777
00:43:37,790 --> 00:43:39,960
I got some dirt on them
pulling weeds in my garden.

778
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:40,793
- Oh yeah?

779
00:43:41,780 --> 00:43:45,483
You know, I've always been
fascinated by gardening.

780
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:47,593
- Really?

781
00:43:50,382 --> 00:43:52,882
(light music)

782
00:43:54,454 --> 00:43:55,730
(groaning)

783
00:43:55,730 --> 00:43:57,360
- So what you doing, Hermie?

784
00:43:58,310 --> 00:44:01,856
- Oh, Damon. Thought you might be Blaine.

785
00:44:01,856 --> 00:44:04,013
- Well it's me. So what are you doing?

786
00:44:05,050 --> 00:44:07,770
- All right, you should be in on this too.

787
00:44:07,770 --> 00:44:11,090
I think Blaine may be a serial killer.

788
00:44:11,090 --> 00:44:13,700
I think he killed Chartreuse,
and these other dudes.

789
00:44:13,700 --> 00:44:16,490
And I think these are the graves.

790
00:44:16,490 --> 00:44:18,170
- But I put these signs here.

791
00:44:18,170 --> 00:44:19,003
- Eh?

792
00:44:19,003 --> 00:44:20,280
- It's not what you're thinking.

793
00:44:22,332 --> 00:44:24,620
I get very attached to my roommates,

794
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:27,130
and so I put these signs
here to remind me of them

795
00:44:27,130 --> 00:44:29,320
every time I look out the window.

796
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,830
So you see it's simple.
Blaine's no murderer.

797
00:44:32,830 --> 00:44:34,790
Now don't you feel silly?

798
00:44:34,790 --> 00:44:37,550
- Yeah. Boy, do I ...

799
00:44:37,550 --> 00:44:38,383
But didn't you say that--

800
00:44:38,383 --> 00:44:41,310
- Let's go inside, and never try

801
00:44:41,310 --> 00:44:43,803
and dig holes here ever again.

802
00:44:47,780 --> 00:44:49,813
- Oh hi, honey. Where's your shirt?

803
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,000
- I didn't find Blaine.

804
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,014
- What?

805
00:44:54,014 --> 00:44:56,330
- Hermie, I just thought of
a logical excuse as to why

806
00:44:56,330 --> 00:44:59,700
all the dirt around the graves,
the things, is so loose.

807
00:44:59,700 --> 00:45:01,500
Oh, hi, Blaine.

808
00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:03,000
It's because I had to loosen it

809
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,063
to put in the friendly signs.

810
00:45:11,860 --> 00:45:12,693
- Carrie,

811
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:15,830
I wanna ask you something.

812
00:45:15,830 --> 00:45:17,680
- I told you, I couldn't find Blaine.

813
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:20,033
- About Blaine.

814
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,160
Were you and him doing

815
00:45:25,010 --> 00:45:25,843
something?

816
00:45:28,807 --> 00:45:30,367
- Oh my God.

817
00:45:31,352 --> 00:45:34,774
Oh my God, Herman, I can't
believe, I cannot ...

818
00:45:34,774 --> 00:45:35,607
I can't believe this.

819
00:45:35,607 --> 00:45:36,690
I mean, you know I love you and only you

820
00:45:36,690 --> 00:45:40,440
and it's always been only,
and I love just only you.

821
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:41,740
It's just you.

822
00:45:41,740 --> 00:45:43,250
- I'm sorry, Carrie. I'm such a jerk.

823
00:45:43,250 --> 00:45:44,800
I shouldn't have said anything.

824
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,330
Is there any way I could
make this up to you?

825
00:45:50,515 --> 00:45:52,616
- Get me something expensive.

826
00:45:52,616 --> 00:45:54,033
- Uh, okay.

827
00:45:57,670 --> 00:46:00,040
I've never said this to anyone before, but

828
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:03,640
I love you, Carrie.

829
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,333
- I love you too, Blaine.

830
00:46:07,740 --> 00:46:08,573
Herman.

831
00:46:13,688 --> 00:46:16,836
(thunder rumbling)

832
00:46:16,836 --> 00:46:19,753
(knocking on door)

833
00:46:22,340 --> 00:46:24,300
- Look, Zach, I know you're
not supposed to talk to me,

834
00:46:24,300 --> 00:46:25,263
but some really crazy
stuff's been going on.

835
00:46:25,263 --> 00:46:27,360
- Herman, my life is falling apart.

836
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:28,300
- What?

837
00:46:28,300 --> 00:46:29,553
- Marriage is killing me.

838
00:46:32,096 --> 00:46:33,860
(punch striking)

839
00:46:33,860 --> 00:46:35,179
(moaning)

840
00:46:35,179 --> 00:46:36,510
- I wanged my thing on the deal.

841
00:46:36,510 --> 00:46:38,350
- And work's driving me crazy too.

842
00:46:38,350 --> 00:46:39,960
My job is such a dead end.

843
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,990
I knew I should have
majored in comparative lit.

844
00:46:41,990 --> 00:46:44,050
English lit, what was I thinking?

845
00:46:44,050 --> 00:46:45,650
I can't take it anymore.

846
00:46:45,650 --> 00:46:47,050
You have to help me kill Susan.

847
00:46:47,050 --> 00:46:47,883
- What?

848
00:46:47,883 --> 00:46:50,533
- Zach, what is Herman
Schumacher doing here?

849
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,510
- He's trying to get me to kill you.

850
00:46:54,510 --> 00:46:55,343
- Ah!

851
00:46:58,420 --> 00:47:00,190
- Way to go, dude. You fooled her.

852
00:47:00,190 --> 00:47:02,110
Now you can kill her
three weeks from Thursday

853
00:47:02,110 --> 00:47:03,910
when I'm at work establishing my alibi.

854
00:47:03,910 --> 00:47:05,800
- I won't kill your wife.

855
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:07,270
- Why not?

856
00:47:07,270 --> 00:47:09,133
- Here, bludgeon him with this.

857
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:11,513
I'll call a friend.

858
00:47:13,243 --> 00:47:15,910
(phone beeping)

859
00:47:21,020 --> 00:47:23,063
- And never come back.

860
00:47:34,090 --> 00:47:36,340
(groaning)

861
00:47:37,380 --> 00:47:38,213
- Thanks.

862
00:47:40,013 --> 00:47:43,363
(monster squealing)

863
00:47:43,363 --> 00:47:44,196
Oh.

864
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:51,390
- Oh, Hermie. What are
you doing tomorrow night?

865
00:47:51,390 --> 00:47:53,203
- Nothing. Why?

866
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,050
- You have a beautiful apartment.

867
00:47:59,050 --> 00:47:59,883
- Thank you.

868
00:48:01,131 --> 00:48:03,410
- Do you think the two of you could

869
00:48:03,410 --> 00:48:05,580
entertain yourselves for a little bit.

870
00:48:05,580 --> 00:48:08,453
We got a little business to take care of.

871
00:48:09,468 --> 00:48:10,968
Let's go. Come on.

872
00:48:18,475 --> 00:48:19,580
- Oh.

873
00:48:19,580 --> 00:48:21,160
- Punch me in the face.

874
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:22,042
- What?

875
00:48:22,042 --> 00:48:23,390
- Come on, it's sexual. Punch me.

876
00:48:23,390 --> 00:48:25,849
Really, come on, punch me. Come on, pussy.

877
00:48:25,849 --> 00:48:27,345
Hit me, come on. Hit me, come on.

878
00:48:27,345 --> 00:48:28,178
- Ow.

879
00:48:28,178 --> 00:48:29,853
Stop it. Ow!

880
00:48:29,853 --> 00:48:30,950
- Come on, punch me in the face.

881
00:48:30,950 --> 00:48:34,190
- Hey, guys. Let's beat it.

882
00:48:34,190 --> 00:48:35,190
- Where's your date?

883
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:37,833
- She left.

884
00:48:39,660 --> 00:48:40,910
- I didn't see her leave.

885
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,663
- That's because she's in bed, sleeping.

886
00:48:45,570 --> 00:48:46,403
Now let's go.

887
00:48:47,385 --> 00:48:48,585
- Okay.

888
00:48:48,585 --> 00:48:49,418
- Oh.

889
00:49:06,670 --> 00:49:08,876
- Oh no, Hermie.

890
00:49:08,876 --> 00:49:11,920
I forgot my wallet at my date's house.

891
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:16,210
Could you hand me that garbage
bag and a sack of lime?

892
00:49:16,210 --> 00:49:18,010
Oh, and the hacksaw too.

893
00:49:18,010 --> 00:49:18,843
- Sure thing.

894
00:49:18,843 --> 00:49:20,480
- Thanks, Hermie (clicks tongue).

895
00:49:26,263 --> 00:49:27,570
- There you are, Shuttlesworth.

896
00:49:27,570 --> 00:49:28,403
- Schumacher.

897
00:49:28,403 --> 00:49:29,550
- Can I talk to you upstairs.

898
00:49:29,550 --> 00:49:31,123
- Uh, okay.

899
00:49:32,290 --> 00:49:33,610
I'll be right back.

900
00:49:33,610 --> 00:49:34,460
- Yeah, whatever.

901
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,833
So why are you so sick all the time?

902
00:49:41,430 --> 00:49:44,273
- Um, I think it's bronchitis.

903
00:49:45,580 --> 00:49:46,413
- Oh yeah?

904
00:49:47,450 --> 00:49:52,450
You know, I've always been
fascinated by bronchitis.

905
00:49:52,870 --> 00:49:53,703
- Really?

906
00:49:56,372 --> 00:49:58,860
- What did I tell you about using my comb?

907
00:49:58,860 --> 00:50:00,607
- I didn't use your stupid comb.

908
00:50:00,607 --> 00:50:03,240
- And I suppose this isn't your hair.

909
00:50:03,240 --> 00:50:04,230
- It's not.

910
00:50:04,230 --> 00:50:07,060
- You have the longest hair
of anyone in the house.

911
00:50:07,060 --> 00:50:09,003
- Look, I have my own comb.

912
00:50:10,252 --> 00:50:11,085
Where's my Thaddeus comb?

913
00:50:11,085 --> 00:50:14,630
- Whatever. You're so dead, sphincter.

914
00:50:14,630 --> 00:50:16,647
I'm going to murder you.

915
00:50:18,070 --> 00:50:18,903
- God, ew.

916
00:50:22,767 --> 00:50:24,934
(humming)

917
00:50:28,873 --> 00:50:30,258
(squealing)

918
00:50:30,258 --> 00:50:31,841
You son of a bitch!

919
00:50:33,110 --> 00:50:34,810
Come back here, so I can kill you.

920
00:50:36,173 --> 00:50:38,756
(upbeat music)

921
00:50:40,367 --> 00:50:41,940
Where'd he go?

922
00:50:41,940 --> 00:50:42,991
- We tripped.

923
00:50:42,991 --> 00:50:45,991
(monster squealing)

924
00:50:47,730 --> 00:50:50,362
- Boy, this sure is a good TV program.

925
00:50:50,362 --> 00:50:51,380
- Yep.

926
00:50:51,380 --> 00:50:53,963
(upbeat music)

927
00:50:58,471 --> 00:51:02,133
(monster squealing)

928
00:51:02,133 --> 00:51:03,886
- I want my socks back!

929
00:51:03,886 --> 00:51:06,469
(upbeat music)

930
00:51:08,872 --> 00:51:11,372
(music stops)

931
00:51:12,970 --> 00:51:14,820
- Have you seen Blaine?

932
00:51:14,820 --> 00:51:16,840
- Not since he left last night.

933
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,390
When he was muttering
something about killing you.

934
00:51:19,390 --> 00:51:22,110
- I once again think that
Blaine killed those people.

935
00:51:22,110 --> 00:51:25,400
I know that you say you put
the friendly reminder signs

936
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:26,753
there yourself, but ...

937
00:51:28,710 --> 00:51:31,380
But what if, coincidentally,
Blaine's been burying

938
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:34,400
his victims underneath your signs?

939
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,530
- Blaine wouldn't do that.

940
00:51:36,530 --> 00:51:39,783
And I certainly don't think
you should dig up the corpses.

941
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:44,540
Uh, because they're not there.

942
00:51:44,540 --> 00:51:46,003
- I have to try.

943
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,103
I'm gonna do it right now.
I'll just go get my shoes.

944
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:05,633
- Good luck.

945
00:52:12,700 --> 00:52:15,463
- My shovel seems to have
broken in several pieces.

946
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:17,673
- Weird.

947
00:52:18,770 --> 00:52:21,760
I guess there'll be no digging for you.

948
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:23,600
- Well, I do dig holes for a living.

949
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,103
I bet I can borrow a
shovel from work. See ya.

950
00:52:29,100 --> 00:52:33,043
- So, Herman Schumacher, the game begins.

951
00:52:38,824 --> 00:52:41,760
(monster humming)

952
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:43,603
- Who's there? Damon?

953
00:52:45,421 --> 00:52:48,220
(monster squealing)

954
00:52:48,220 --> 00:52:50,213
Doesn't sound like Damon.

955
00:52:55,170 --> 00:52:57,183
You! My clothes!

956
00:52:58,768 --> 00:53:01,018
(groaning)

957
00:53:03,450 --> 00:53:05,020
- And this is the newest
hole I've designed.

958
00:53:05,020 --> 00:53:06,410
It's ergonometric.

959
00:53:06,410 --> 00:53:08,470
It's very nice.

960
00:53:08,470 --> 00:53:10,300
- Hey, that's my trapper.

961
00:53:10,300 --> 00:53:11,133
- 10 bucks.

962
00:53:11,990 --> 00:53:12,940
- Where's your tie?

963
00:53:14,210 --> 00:53:17,603
- You see, all of my ties
were stolen by this mon ...

964
00:53:18,850 --> 00:53:20,448
I lost all my ties, all right?

965
00:53:20,448 --> 00:53:24,200
- Now you do know, this
job requires a tie?

966
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,880
- But I'm digging a hole.

967
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,290
- You're digging a hole for BECTech

968
00:53:27,290 --> 00:53:29,029
Global Systems Incorporated.

969
00:53:29,029 --> 00:53:32,110
(cheering)

970
00:53:32,110 --> 00:53:35,180
Now, Schumacher, because
you're such a super worker,

971
00:53:35,180 --> 00:53:36,430
I'm gonna do you a favor and I'm not

972
00:53:36,430 --> 00:53:37,740
gonna fire you this time.

973
00:53:37,740 --> 00:53:39,640
However, I do catch you
around her without a tie

974
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,240
again, you're outta here, buddy.

975
00:53:42,700 --> 00:53:44,280
- Can I at least borrow this shovel?

976
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:45,113
- No.

977
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,650
(laughing)

978
00:53:54,435 --> 00:53:55,717
(sighing)

979
00:53:55,717 --> 00:53:59,590
- Aha! E, Herman, where's your shovel?

980
00:53:59,590 --> 00:54:01,123
- They wouldn't give me one.

981
00:54:02,100 --> 00:54:04,300
I guess I'll just have
to dig with my hands.

982
00:54:05,260 --> 00:54:08,700
- Hey, Damon. Oh, hey, fuck face.

983
00:54:08,700 --> 00:54:10,140
I hope you're happy.

984
00:54:10,140 --> 00:54:13,300
I was out all night replacing
that comb you soiled.

985
00:54:13,300 --> 00:54:17,133
- Yeah, whatever, weirdo.
On the flip side, Damon.

986
00:54:17,133 --> 00:54:18,240
(tongue clicking)

987
00:54:18,240 --> 00:54:21,373
- Next time, Schumacher, next time.

988
00:54:23,773 --> 00:54:28,773
♪ If I can do it, anybody can ♪

989
00:54:33,151 --> 00:54:36,984
♪ If I can do it, anybody can ♪

990
00:54:43,037 --> 00:54:48,037
- You know, I've always been
fascinated by eating socks.

991
00:54:48,514 --> 00:54:50,717
(monster mumbling)

992
00:54:50,717 --> 00:54:53,300
(upbeat music)

993
00:54:57,627 --> 00:55:02,627
♪ You are, you're better than this ♪

994
00:55:03,603 --> 00:55:08,419
♪ You're better than this one ♪

995
00:55:08,419 --> 00:55:13,419
♪ You're better than me ♪

996
00:55:13,934 --> 00:55:18,934
♪ You're better than me ♪

997
00:55:22,029 --> 00:55:26,196
♪ You can do it better than I can ♪

998
00:55:32,743 --> 00:55:36,910
♪ You can do it better than I can ♪

999
00:55:38,242 --> 00:55:41,300
- [Dad] Won't do you much good (laughs).

1000
00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:44,520
- Dad, one of my roommates
may be a murderer.

1001
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:47,200
I basically got fired from
my job because of this

1002
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:49,780
stupid monster that's
stealing all my clothes,

1003
00:55:49,780 --> 00:55:52,880
and I'm beginning to
suspect that my girlfriend

1004
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:54,183
may be cheating on me.

1005
00:55:56,710 --> 00:56:01,710
♪ You are, you're better than this ♪

1006
00:56:02,479 --> 00:56:07,479
♪ You're better than this one ♪

1007
00:56:07,573 --> 00:56:12,573
♪ You're better than me ♪

1008
00:56:13,269 --> 00:56:16,602
♪ You're better than me ♪

1009
00:56:22,050 --> 00:56:24,952
- Hey, where's my sandwich?

1010
00:56:24,952 --> 00:56:27,803
(monster mumbling)

1011
00:56:27,803 --> 00:56:30,136
(squealing)

1012
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:33,713
China?

1013
00:56:34,890 --> 00:56:37,510
And you used my calling card?

1014
00:56:37,510 --> 00:56:39,223
You stupid monster.

1015
00:56:41,147 --> 00:56:46,147
♪ So come on and you'll see ♪

1016
00:56:47,038 --> 00:56:52,038
♪ Exactly what I mean ♪

1017
00:56:52,624 --> 00:56:56,275
♪ You, you, you ♪

1018
00:56:56,275 --> 00:57:01,275
♪ You're better than this ♪

1019
00:57:01,723 --> 00:57:06,723
♪ You're better than this one ♪

1020
00:57:06,915 --> 00:57:11,915
♪ You're better than me ♪

1021
00:57:12,395 --> 00:57:15,947
♪ You're better than me ♪

1022
00:57:15,947 --> 00:57:18,530
(upbeat music)

1023
00:57:36,462 --> 00:57:38,962
(music stops)

1024
00:57:41,315 --> 00:57:43,660
(whimpering)

1025
00:57:43,660 --> 00:57:48,010
- Herman, what's wrong? You're boring me.

1026
00:57:48,010 --> 00:57:50,433
- Life is so cruel.

1027
00:57:51,500 --> 00:57:55,460
Sometimes I think I
should just end it all.

1028
00:57:55,460 --> 00:57:58,280
- What do you have to complain
about. Your life's fine.

1029
00:57:58,280 --> 00:57:59,820
- No.

1030
00:57:59,820 --> 00:58:03,440
My roommate is trying to
kill me for using his comb.

1031
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,510
My best friend got married and didn't

1032
00:58:05,510 --> 00:58:06,833
invite me to his wedding.

1033
00:58:07,968 --> 00:58:11,763
And I think I may have syphilis.
I wonder how I got that.

1034
00:58:13,610 --> 00:58:17,490
Plus, I've lost my job
because of this stupid monster

1035
00:58:17,490 --> 00:58:19,470
that's stealing all my clothes.

1036
00:58:19,470 --> 00:58:21,530
- Well, Herman, you really
haven't been putting up

1037
00:58:21,530 --> 00:58:24,310
much of a fight with him, now have you?

1038
00:58:24,310 --> 00:58:25,333
- Stupid monster.

1039
00:58:27,390 --> 00:58:30,575
- Wuzzel, can you give
us a minute alone please.

1040
00:58:30,575 --> 00:58:32,742
(sighing)

1041
00:58:33,828 --> 00:58:35,078
Love you, baby.

1042
00:58:36,003 --> 00:58:37,623
- What'd you just call him?

1043
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:39,433
- Wuzzel.

1044
00:58:39,433 --> 00:58:41,560
His real name is Perkutzitwuzzel,
but I call him Wuzzel.

1045
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:43,600
It's like our cute little nickname thing.

1046
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,553
He's a really nice monster,
once you get to know him.

1047
00:58:46,553 --> 00:58:48,260
(moaning)

1048
00:58:48,260 --> 00:58:50,540
I know what will cheer you up.

1049
00:58:50,540 --> 00:58:52,133
We need to make a porn.

1050
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:55,533
- I'd have to be so drunk.

1051
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:02,473
- I hear there's a problem
with your plumbing, ma'am.

1052
00:59:02,473 --> 00:59:04,770
- Well as long as you're here,

1053
00:59:04,770 --> 00:59:07,689
I might as well clean your pipes.

1054
00:59:07,689 --> 00:59:08,836
- Damn.

1055
00:59:08,836 --> 00:59:10,340
(doorbell ringing)

1056
00:59:10,340 --> 00:59:11,490
Someone else'll get it.

1057
00:59:13,319 --> 00:59:15,652
(whistling)

1058
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:20,556
- Hello.

1059
00:59:20,556 --> 00:59:24,200
- Hey, somebody order a landscaper?

1060
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:25,140
- Landscaper?

1061
00:59:25,140 --> 00:59:26,990
- Here to do some work on the garden.

1062
00:59:28,820 --> 00:59:32,510
- The garden, it's upstairs.

1063
00:59:32,510 --> 00:59:34,063
Come with me. I'll show you.

1064
00:59:40,620 --> 00:59:41,623
- Oh yeah, work it.

1065
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:44,691
- Watch, I'm gonna ...

1066
00:59:44,691 --> 00:59:45,782
Ah!

1067
00:59:45,782 --> 00:59:46,699
- No, stop.

1068
00:59:48,347 --> 00:59:49,740
- You know, it's kinda weird

1069
00:59:49,740 --> 00:59:51,923
to keep your garden on the second floor.

1070
00:59:52,780 --> 00:59:56,293
Most people, they, they
keep them outside nowadays.

1071
00:59:58,350 --> 00:59:59,183
Hello?

1072
01:00:02,655 --> 01:00:03,822
What the hell?

1073
01:00:06,168 --> 01:00:08,501
(screaming)

1074
01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:13,492
- You should have never gone
into the landscaping business.

1075
01:00:13,492 --> 01:00:17,620
- Ow! Someone stabbed me in the back.

1076
01:00:18,550 --> 01:00:21,456
- Here, let me help you
with that (screams).

1077
01:00:21,456 --> 01:00:22,289
- Oh!

1078
01:00:23,268 --> 01:00:25,601
(screaming)

1079
01:00:27,356 --> 01:00:28,189
Oh!

1080
01:00:30,170 --> 01:00:32,720
- Hey, stop stabbing me!

1081
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:36,173
- Quit stabbing yourself.
Quit stabbing yourself.

1082
01:00:40,870 --> 01:00:42,803
You never should have gone into--

1083
01:00:42,803 --> 01:00:44,323
- Oh, man.

1084
01:00:44,323 --> 01:00:47,248
(hard breathing)

1085
01:00:47,248 --> 01:00:49,699
(bones breaking)

1086
01:00:49,699 --> 01:00:50,532
- You never--

1087
01:00:50,532 --> 01:00:53,635
- Ow, my neck!

1088
01:00:53,635 --> 01:00:56,552
(punches striking)

1089
01:00:58,859 --> 01:01:02,624
- Carrie, stop. What are you doing anyway?

1090
01:01:02,624 --> 01:01:04,709
(Herman speaking indistinctly)

1091
01:01:04,709 --> 01:01:07,341
(moaning)

1092
01:01:07,341 --> 01:01:09,035
- Someone in there?

1093
01:01:09,035 --> 01:01:11,952
(Carrie screaming)

1094
01:01:16,219 --> 01:01:18,552
(screaming)

1095
01:01:19,730 --> 01:01:22,130
- Carrie, stop. Carrie.

1096
01:01:22,130 --> 01:01:24,343
- Why won't you die? Just die.

1097
01:01:28,753 --> 01:01:32,033
- I just wanted to work on your garden.

1098
01:01:32,900 --> 01:01:37,243
But there is no garden
up here. You lied to me!

1099
01:01:38,290 --> 01:01:41,470
You son of a bitch! I trusted you!

1100
01:01:41,470 --> 01:01:43,885
(shrieking)

1101
01:01:43,885 --> 01:01:46,730
(pounding on door)

1102
01:01:46,730 --> 01:01:50,660
(landscaper shouting)

1103
01:01:50,660 --> 01:01:52,731
(Carrie moaning)

1104
01:01:52,731 --> 01:01:55,814
(light upbeat music)

1105
01:02:01,757 --> 01:02:05,413
- You never should have
gone in to landscaping.

1106
01:02:10,340 --> 01:02:12,781
- [Herman] Ow, my God.

1107
01:02:12,781 --> 01:02:15,020
(monster grunting)

1108
01:02:15,020 --> 01:02:17,193
- God, you're worse than Icky.

1109
01:02:20,460 --> 01:02:21,813
I haven't seen Icky.

1110
01:02:23,787 --> 01:02:26,537
(dramatic music)

1111
01:02:28,900 --> 01:02:32,880
- Hey, Hermie. Did you order a landscaper?

1112
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:34,050
- No.

1113
01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:34,883
- Good.

1114
01:02:34,883 --> 01:02:37,450
- Hey, has my landscaper showed up yet?

1115
01:02:37,450 --> 01:02:40,850
- No, why would you need
a landscaper, Blaine?

1116
01:02:40,850 --> 01:02:43,048
- I'm gonna expand my garden,

1117
01:02:43,048 --> 01:02:44,760
and I have to dig up those signs, though.

1118
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:46,030
- I don't think it's right for you to be

1119
01:02:46,030 --> 01:02:49,970
digging up our yard without
consulting the rest of us first.

1120
01:02:49,970 --> 01:02:51,667
Right, Hermie? Wuzzel?

1121
01:02:53,617 --> 01:02:56,020
- What the hell is that thing?

1122
01:02:56,020 --> 01:02:57,560
- It's Herman's friend.

1123
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:58,580
- Figures.

1124
01:02:58,580 --> 01:03:00,600
- He's not my friend.

1125
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:01,833
I'm going to Carrie's.

1126
01:03:02,917 --> 01:03:03,750
Ow.

1127
01:03:04,930 --> 01:03:07,520
- See? You're outnumbered.

1128
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:08,950
They'll be no digging up the garden.

1129
01:03:08,950 --> 01:03:11,960
- Whatever. It's my garden,
I'll do what I want.

1130
01:03:13,170 --> 01:03:16,445
(upbeat music)

1131
01:03:16,445 --> 01:03:18,650
(exhaling)

1132
01:03:18,650 --> 01:03:21,911
(upbeat rock music)

1133
01:03:21,911 --> 01:03:24,244
(screaming)

1134
01:03:26,375 --> 01:03:27,962
- Blaine!

1135
01:03:27,962 --> 01:03:32,458
♪ I think I see it coming down ♪

1136
01:03:32,458 --> 01:03:37,209
♪ Must weigh 100,000 pounds ♪

1137
01:03:37,209 --> 01:03:42,209
♪ It's gonna crush me through the ground ♪

1138
01:03:42,735 --> 01:03:45,250
(laughing maniacally)

1139
01:03:45,250 --> 01:03:47,036
(screaming)

1140
01:03:47,036 --> 01:03:50,203
(laughing maniacally)

1141
01:04:24,710 --> 01:04:27,400
- So, what do you wanna do tonight?

1142
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:30,270
I kinda need to unwind.

1143
01:04:30,270 --> 01:04:31,110
Let's go to a bar.

1144
01:04:31,110 --> 01:04:32,930
- I can't get into a bar.

1145
01:04:32,930 --> 01:04:34,130
- I thought you were 21.

1146
01:04:34,130 --> 01:04:35,670
- No, not yet.

1147
01:04:35,670 --> 01:04:40,240
- Well, let's see a movie.
How about that new mob movie?

1148
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:41,140
- What's it rated?

1149
01:04:42,120 --> 01:04:42,960
- R.

1150
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:44,210
- I can't see that movie.

1151
01:04:45,470 --> 01:04:47,134
- Why not?

1152
01:04:47,134 --> 01:04:50,213
- Because they don't let
12-year-olds into R-rated movies.

1153
01:04:52,235 --> 01:04:53,068
- Huh?

1154
01:04:55,030 --> 01:04:57,320
- I like Pokemon. I can't get into a bar.

1155
01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:59,570
I like Pokemon. My parents
would never let me take the car.

1156
01:04:59,570 --> 01:05:01,908
I like Pokemon. I have a curfew, you know.

1157
01:05:01,908 --> 01:05:03,158
I like Pokemon.

1158
01:05:11,250 --> 01:05:12,790
- Is something wrong?

1159
01:05:12,790 --> 01:05:14,990
- You're 12?

1160
01:05:14,990 --> 01:05:17,073
- Yeah, thought I told you that.

1161
01:05:18,466 --> 01:05:19,370
- How the hell old are you?

1162
01:05:19,370 --> 01:05:22,598
- I'm 12. We're twins.

1163
01:05:22,598 --> 01:05:24,310
- You said he was your younger brother.

1164
01:05:24,310 --> 01:05:26,020
- Yeah, he is, by like five minutes.

1165
01:05:26,020 --> 01:05:27,763
God, he's so immature.

1166
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:30,020
Are you okay?

1167
01:05:30,020 --> 01:05:30,853
- Yeah.

1168
01:05:31,850 --> 01:05:32,683
Yeah.

1169
01:05:34,230 --> 01:05:35,820
Yeah.

1170
01:05:35,820 --> 01:05:36,873
I'm fine.

1171
01:05:37,942 --> 01:05:40,275
(screaming)

1172
01:05:44,861 --> 01:05:46,973
- [Announcer] And now, the
creator of the Howard Schumacher

1173
01:05:46,973 --> 01:05:50,025
is a Fucking Asshole Symphony, in D Minor,

1174
01:05:50,025 --> 01:05:53,273
the one, the only, Chartreuse.

1175
01:05:57,079 --> 01:05:59,496
(jazz music)

1176
01:06:05,161 --> 01:06:09,857
♪ You meet a cute little
girl, and you take her home ♪

1177
01:06:09,857 --> 01:06:13,729
♪ She treats you real nice
when you're all alone ♪

1178
01:06:13,729 --> 01:06:15,817
♪ But that chick sleep with your friends ♪

1179
01:06:15,817 --> 01:06:19,012
♪ But you're too stupid to see ♪

1180
01:06:19,012 --> 01:06:22,109
♪ You make her star in a porno movie ♪

1181
01:06:22,109 --> 01:06:24,828
♪ Well you're going to
jail, that's right ♪

1182
01:06:24,828 --> 01:06:29,081
♪ You're now going, you're
going up the river ♪

1183
01:06:29,081 --> 01:06:33,087
♪ Statutory rape, you aint getting out ♪

1184
01:06:33,087 --> 01:06:35,399
♪ You aint gonna escape ♪

1185
01:06:35,399 --> 01:06:38,135
♪ And if you think you
got a chance in hell ♪

1186
01:06:38,135 --> 01:06:40,449
♪ Well think you aint got a prayer ♪

1187
01:06:40,449 --> 01:06:42,381
♪ Both you and I know what they do ♪

1188
01:06:42,381 --> 01:06:44,820
♪ To guys like you in there ♪

1189
01:06:44,820 --> 01:06:46,399
- Maybe I'll get away with it.

1190
01:06:46,399 --> 01:06:49,092
♪ Man, you aint got no hope ♪

1191
01:06:49,092 --> 01:06:52,917
♪ Just think of Chartreuse
when you're dropping the soap ♪

1192
01:06:52,917 --> 01:06:54,791
♪ You asshole ♪

1193
01:06:54,791 --> 01:06:57,208
(jazz music)

1194
01:06:59,745 --> 01:07:04,533
- Hermie, you're being
accused of statutory rape.

1195
01:07:05,410 --> 01:07:06,390
- But I didn't know.

1196
01:07:06,390 --> 01:07:08,260
- Lies, all lies.

1197
01:07:08,260 --> 01:07:10,790
Your honor, look at
this sweet little girl.

1198
01:07:10,790 --> 01:07:15,010
This of-age A-hole took advantage of her.

1199
01:07:15,010 --> 01:07:16,293
Hear her testimonial.

1200
01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:20,453
- He made me appear in a porno.

1201
01:07:21,287 --> 01:07:25,310
- Busted!
- Herman Schumacher, I sentence you

1202
01:07:25,310 --> 01:07:29,982
to one hour, of being murdered.

1203
01:07:29,982 --> 01:07:31,055
Get him.

1204
01:07:31,055 --> 01:07:33,472
(jazz music)

1205
01:07:37,636 --> 01:07:40,406
♪ It's over, you're going away ♪

1206
01:07:40,406 --> 01:07:44,108
♪ It's over, there aint nothing to say ♪

1207
01:07:44,108 --> 01:07:49,108
♪ When you do it with a
12-year-old, you've gotta pay ♪

1208
01:07:49,300 --> 01:07:54,300
♪ That's right, you're going away ♪

1209
01:07:55,056 --> 01:07:57,300
♪ Hey, watch it ♪

1210
01:07:57,300 --> 01:07:59,750
- [Carrie] He made me appear in a porno.

1211
01:07:59,750 --> 01:08:01,100
- I've gotta get that tape.

1212
01:08:11,707 --> 01:08:14,477
(moaning)

1213
01:08:14,477 --> 01:08:17,227
(dramatic music)

1214
01:08:24,507 --> 01:08:25,880
It was Damon.

1215
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:27,630
- Nice video, Hermie.

1216
01:08:27,630 --> 01:08:30,920
Sex and violence. Two thumbs up.

1217
01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:32,470
Your butt.

1218
01:08:32,470 --> 01:08:34,900
- Blaine, help, I'm sorry about your comb!

1219
01:08:34,900 --> 01:08:36,980
- I'm afraid Blaine
can't help you right now.

1220
01:08:36,980 --> 01:08:40,383
He's quite busy. Busy being dead.

1221
01:08:41,500 --> 01:08:43,130
- You lied to me.

1222
01:08:43,130 --> 01:08:45,880
- I must admit, you're the only enemy

1223
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:48,530
who's ever been worthy of battle with me.

1224
01:08:48,530 --> 01:08:50,790
You've fought a good fight.

1225
01:08:50,790 --> 01:08:55,100
The way you'd eluded all of
my death traps, ingenious.

1226
01:08:55,100 --> 01:08:55,933
- Huh?

1227
01:08:55,933 --> 01:08:59,370
- Now that we've established
ourselves as equal rivals,

1228
01:08:59,370 --> 01:09:01,460
we should have a toast.

1229
01:09:01,460 --> 01:09:04,153
Here, drink this.

1230
01:09:05,140 --> 01:09:06,673
- I'm not drinking that.

1231
01:09:08,090 --> 01:09:09,840
- How did you know it was poisoned?

1232
01:09:11,530 --> 01:09:14,203
Damn, you're good, Schumacher.

1233
01:09:15,650 --> 01:09:18,664
Too good to not be dead.

1234
01:09:18,664 --> 01:09:20,997
(shrieking)

1235
01:09:23,670 --> 01:09:27,960
So you're not gonna just let
me kill you. I like that.

1236
01:09:27,960 --> 01:09:29,770
We'll make a battle out of it.

1237
01:09:29,770 --> 01:09:31,440
- Actually, now that I'm
standing by the door,

1238
01:09:31,440 --> 01:09:34,220
I was planning on just
running to the police station.

1239
01:09:34,220 --> 01:09:35,510
- Maybe you would stay,

1240
01:09:35,510 --> 01:09:38,183
if you had something worth fighting for.

1241
01:09:40,380 --> 01:09:41,923
Oh, that's not it.

1242
01:09:43,466 --> 01:09:45,200
(laughing)

1243
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:46,950
- We're gonna fight over a shirt?

1244
01:09:46,950 --> 01:09:49,300
- No, the owner of the shirt.

1245
01:09:49,300 --> 01:09:50,840
- Me? Is it my shirt?

1246
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:52,740
- Does this look like your shirt?

1247
01:09:52,740 --> 01:09:55,450
Way too small, it's
obviously a girl's shirt.

1248
01:09:55,450 --> 01:09:56,610
- I'm not really following you here.

1249
01:09:56,610 --> 01:09:57,443
Maybe, what?

1250
01:09:59,150 --> 01:10:01,610
- Your stupid girlfriend. It's her shirt.

1251
01:10:01,610 --> 01:10:04,470
Look, we broke up. I don't
care about the shirt.

1252
01:10:04,470 --> 01:10:05,880
If she wants her shirt back, she can--

1253
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:07,493
- Jesus.

1254
01:10:07,493 --> 01:10:09,120
I kidnapped her.

1255
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:12,160
She came over to see
you, and I kidnapped her.

1256
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:14,340
You're so stupid.

1257
01:10:14,340 --> 01:10:15,323
- Oh.

1258
01:10:16,330 --> 01:10:17,760
You dick.

1259
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:20,310
- Well, if you ever wanna see her again,

1260
01:10:20,310 --> 01:10:23,750
meet me in the backyard at four o'clock,

1261
01:10:23,750 --> 01:10:28,610
for a battle, to the
death, death, death, death.

1262
01:10:28,610 --> 01:10:31,620
- And if I kill you, you'll
tell me where she is?

1263
01:10:31,620 --> 01:10:33,140
- Agreed.

1264
01:10:33,140 --> 01:10:35,860
Now let's drink to that.

1265
01:10:35,860 --> 01:10:38,240
Here, drink this.

1266
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:39,073
- No.

1267
01:10:41,207 --> 01:10:42,393
- You're good.

1268
01:10:43,476 --> 01:10:46,643
(gentle guitar music)

1269
01:11:13,700 --> 01:11:16,807
I always thought of you
as a real cutup, Hermie.

1270
01:11:17,891 --> 01:11:20,510
(gentle guitar music)

1271
01:11:20,510 --> 01:11:24,103
I'm sorry you forced me
to sever our friendship.

1272
01:11:25,100 --> 01:11:29,733
Your mother always told you
not to run with scissors.

1273
01:11:31,742 --> 01:11:34,382
(shouting)

1274
01:11:34,382 --> 01:11:36,170
- Who the hell are these guys?

1275
01:11:36,170 --> 01:11:39,760
- These are my guys. They're
gonna help me kill you.

1276
01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:41,163
- What? Hey, you didn't say anything--

1277
01:11:41,163 --> 01:11:42,930
(doorbell ringing)

1278
01:11:42,930 --> 01:11:44,370
You didn't say anything about extra guys.

1279
01:11:44,370 --> 01:11:45,613
- Aren't you gonna get that?

1280
01:11:45,613 --> 01:11:48,530
(doorbell ringing)

1281
01:11:51,120 --> 01:11:52,552
- Yeah, what?

1282
01:11:52,552 --> 01:11:53,444
Oh!

1283
01:11:53,444 --> 01:11:54,277
- Where's my sister?

1284
01:11:54,277 --> 01:11:55,530
- I think she's tied and gagged somewhere.

1285
01:11:55,530 --> 01:11:57,560
- Is this one of your guys?
You know you only get two.

1286
01:11:57,560 --> 01:11:58,680
You should probably get
someone a little bigger.

1287
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:00,540
- He's not one of my guys.

1288
01:12:00,540 --> 01:12:02,753
- Oh. Okay.

1289
01:12:04,890 --> 01:12:07,640
- I guess you can come in if you want.

1290
01:12:07,640 --> 01:12:10,133
If I die, you'll probably
never see your sister again.

1291
01:12:11,713 --> 01:12:13,680
So, what's the deal with these guys?

1292
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:15,460
- We took dance lessons together.

1293
01:12:15,460 --> 01:12:17,217
- Hey, leave him alone.

1294
01:12:17,217 --> 01:12:19,884
(phone ringing)

1295
01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:22,967
- Aren't you gonna get that?

1296
01:12:24,875 --> 01:12:25,980
- Hello.

1297
01:12:25,980 --> 01:12:28,323
- [Zach] Herman, funny
thing happened to me.

1298
01:12:28,323 --> 01:12:32,060
I got home from work today
and I found my wife, not dead.

1299
01:12:32,060 --> 01:12:33,430
Where were you, dude?

1300
01:12:33,430 --> 01:12:36,250
- Zach, can you do me a big favor?

1301
01:12:36,250 --> 01:12:40,130
I need you to help me with a
battle to the death, today.

1302
01:12:40,130 --> 01:12:42,350
- [Zach] A battle to
the death? I don't know.

1303
01:12:42,350 --> 01:12:43,590
I'm supposed to help my friend Greg

1304
01:12:43,590 --> 01:12:45,210
with a battle to the death next week.

1305
01:12:45,210 --> 01:12:47,340
He'll be pissed if I die before then.

1306
01:12:47,340 --> 01:12:50,410
- But, if you don't help me, and I die,

1307
01:12:50,410 --> 01:12:52,500
then I'll never kill your wife.

1308
01:12:52,500 --> 01:12:55,047
- [Zach] That's a good point. I'll do it.

1309
01:12:55,047 --> 01:12:56,703
- Great, come on over. Bye.

1310
01:13:01,140 --> 01:13:02,940
- Nice weapon, gay.

1311
01:13:02,940 --> 01:13:04,440
- Don't make fun of my ho saw.

1312
01:13:05,420 --> 01:13:07,720
We do have coasters, you know?

1313
01:13:07,720 --> 01:13:08,637
Damon. Ah!

1314
01:13:13,510 --> 01:13:14,370
Damon?

1315
01:13:14,370 --> 01:13:16,512
- Oh, they're fine.

1316
01:13:16,512 --> 01:13:19,032
So, how's it going? My name's Damon.

1317
01:13:19,032 --> 01:13:19,865
Nice to meet you.

1318
01:13:19,865 --> 01:13:20,698
- Zach.

1319
01:13:20,698 --> 01:13:23,010
- I was wondering what
your plan is tonight.

1320
01:13:23,010 --> 01:13:25,490
How are you gonna try and kill me.

1321
01:13:25,490 --> 01:13:27,339
- [Herman] Zach, don't talk to him.

1322
01:13:27,339 --> 01:13:30,256
(chattering on TV)

1323
01:13:35,870 --> 01:13:38,280
(bones breaking)

1324
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:39,850
- This is an important package.

1325
01:13:42,630 --> 01:13:44,670
Oh, what happened to him?

1326
01:13:44,670 --> 01:13:46,260
- You said he wasn't one of your guys.

1327
01:13:46,260 --> 01:13:47,333
Anyone can kill him.

1328
01:13:49,170 --> 01:13:50,950
- What are we gonna do with the body?

1329
01:13:50,950 --> 01:13:53,370
- I'm gonna have to bury
everyone else when I kill them.

1330
01:13:53,370 --> 01:13:54,603
I'll just bury him too.

1331
01:13:56,721 --> 01:13:59,762
- You jackass, that's mine!

1332
01:13:59,762 --> 01:14:02,512
(birds chirping)

1333
01:14:11,050 --> 01:14:14,440
- So you're still gonna
kill my wife, right?

1334
01:14:14,440 --> 01:14:16,163
- Uh, yeah.

1335
01:14:17,380 --> 01:14:21,090
- So, you're still gonna
kill my mom, right?

1336
01:14:21,090 --> 01:14:21,923
- Oh yeah.

1337
01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:26,770
Men, today we fight,

1338
01:14:26,770 --> 01:14:28,680
not for our own freedom,

1339
01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:30,300
but for the freedom of psychopathic

1340
01:14:30,300 --> 01:14:32,310
killers everywhere as well.

1341
01:14:32,310 --> 01:14:37,310
These two guys think that
killing people is evil.

1342
01:14:38,400 --> 01:14:40,003
Today we will prove them wrong.

1343
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:42,880
By killing them.

1344
01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:44,150
- Yeah!
- Deal!

1345
01:14:44,150 --> 01:14:47,300
- Uh, Zach.

1346
01:14:47,300 --> 01:14:49,723
Our enemy is that guy, Damon.

1347
01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:51,790
He's a big stinky jerk.

1348
01:14:51,790 --> 01:14:53,400
- You stink!
- Shut up.

1349
01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:54,540
- Hey, where's Carrie?

1350
01:14:54,540 --> 01:14:57,340
- Oh, she's somewhere safe,

1351
01:14:57,340 --> 01:15:01,559
if by safe I mean horribly dangerous.

1352
01:15:01,559 --> 01:15:02,392
- Hello!

1353
01:15:03,663 --> 01:15:07,137
Hey! I'm on the tracks, hello ho ho.

1354
01:15:09,790 --> 01:15:12,510
Somebody!

1355
01:15:12,510 --> 01:15:14,930
- Are you ready, ladies?

1356
01:15:14,930 --> 01:15:16,220
- Yeah.

1357
01:15:16,220 --> 01:15:17,420
- Well let's do it then.

1358
01:15:17,420 --> 01:15:19,067
- Wait wait, wait wait.

1359
01:15:29,028 --> 01:15:31,801
(screaming)

1360
01:15:31,801 --> 01:15:33,560
(groaning)

1361
01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:36,537
- Whoa, whoa, what the hell are you doing?

1362
01:15:36,537 --> 01:15:37,370
- What?

1363
01:15:37,370 --> 01:15:38,203
- No projectiles.

1364
01:15:38,203 --> 01:15:40,790
- You never said that. He had
the crossbow the whole time.

1365
01:15:40,790 --> 01:15:41,933
- Thought he was gonna club me with it.

1366
01:15:41,933 --> 01:15:45,700
Haven't you done this
before? Unwritten rules.

1367
01:15:45,700 --> 01:15:48,430
No eye gouging. No fish hooking.

1368
01:15:48,430 --> 01:15:49,810
No projectiles!

1369
01:15:49,810 --> 01:15:53,003
- Fine, from now on, no projectiles.

1370
01:15:54,300 --> 01:15:55,740
- Well can't I kill your guy now,

1371
01:15:55,740 --> 01:15:57,263
because my guy's already dead?

1372
01:15:57,263 --> 01:15:58,096
- What?

1373
01:15:58,096 --> 01:15:59,130
- No.

1374
01:15:59,130 --> 01:16:00,483
- Get up. I still need you.

1375
01:16:01,840 --> 01:16:03,600
- You gonna pull it out or something?

1376
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:04,901
- Shut up.

1377
01:16:04,901 --> 01:16:07,539
(upbeat rock music)

1378
01:16:07,539 --> 01:16:09,277
(screaming)

1379
01:16:09,277 --> 01:16:13,875
♪ You better say something fast ♪

1380
01:16:13,875 --> 01:16:18,784
♪ Before any clash ♪

1381
01:16:18,784 --> 01:16:23,357
♪ I'm losing control ♪

1382
01:16:23,357 --> 01:16:26,440
♪ I'm losing control ♪

1383
01:16:28,541 --> 01:16:30,677
- Ah, you fight like a girl.

1384
01:16:30,677 --> 01:16:31,530
- Oh yeah?

1385
01:16:31,530 --> 01:16:33,780
(groaning)

1386
01:16:36,933 --> 01:16:41,933
♪ Never again, my almost friend ♪

1387
01:16:45,650 --> 01:16:48,149
♪ The message is here ♪

1388
01:16:48,149 --> 01:16:48,982
- Gary.

1389
01:16:50,532 --> 01:16:53,522
♪ It's loud and it's clear ♪

1390
01:16:53,522 --> 01:16:54,355
(shouting)

1391
01:16:54,355 --> 01:16:57,247
- You like it? You want a little, oh!

1392
01:16:57,247 --> 01:17:00,414
(laughing maniacally)

1393
01:17:01,610 --> 01:17:03,597
Look, I'm pointing at something.

1394
01:17:07,382 --> 01:17:08,715
- Wait a minute.

1395
01:17:10,270 --> 01:17:11,103
Damon!

1396
01:17:14,220 --> 01:17:18,470
♪ Never again, my so-called friend ♪

1397
01:17:22,020 --> 01:17:24,123
- Zach, are you hurt?

1398
01:17:25,200 --> 01:17:27,981
- Yeah, dude, you're gonna
have to help me pull this out.

1399
01:17:27,981 --> 01:17:28,981
- All right.

1400
01:17:31,488 --> 01:17:32,567
(groaning)

1401
01:17:32,567 --> 01:17:34,350
- Oh, now I'm bleeding worse.

1402
01:17:34,350 --> 01:17:36,370
Quick put it back in, put it back in.

1403
01:17:36,370 --> 01:17:39,810
In the same spot, you idiot.
Now I'm stabbed twice.

1404
01:17:39,810 --> 01:17:41,003
Quick, apply pressure.

1405
01:17:41,981 --> 01:17:45,913
To the wound, not to the
stick. Are you an idiot?

1406
01:17:45,913 --> 01:17:48,573
- I don't know what I'm doing.

1407
01:17:48,573 --> 01:17:49,860
- Oh.

1408
01:17:49,860 --> 01:17:51,780
- Are you gonna make it?

1409
01:17:51,780 --> 01:17:53,733
- No, dude. I'm a goner.

1410
01:17:54,580 --> 01:17:57,080
But you have to promise me one thing.

1411
01:17:57,080 --> 01:18:00,673
If I die here today, you
have to kill my wife.

1412
01:18:01,550 --> 01:18:03,083
I hate that bitch.

1413
01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:08,550
- You'll have to excuse me, old buddy.

1414
01:18:08,550 --> 01:18:10,250
I have some ass to kick.

1415
01:18:12,185 --> 01:18:15,185
(suspenseful music)

1416
01:18:24,167 --> 01:18:27,205
(groaning)

1417
01:18:27,205 --> 01:18:28,162
- Yes!

1418
01:18:28,162 --> 01:18:30,412
(groaning)

1419
01:18:34,270 --> 01:18:36,189
- Who's weapon is gay now?

1420
01:18:36,189 --> 01:18:38,856
(weapon sawing)

1421
01:18:44,939 --> 01:18:47,499
(body thudding)

1422
01:18:47,499 --> 01:18:50,499
(suspenseful music)

1423
01:19:02,450 --> 01:19:03,283
Ha!

1424
01:19:04,759 --> 01:19:07,759
(suspenseful music)

1425
01:19:11,642 --> 01:19:13,500
(birds chirping)

1426
01:19:13,500 --> 01:19:14,960
Damon, you in here?

1427
01:19:14,960 --> 01:19:18,530
- [Damon] Ooh, I need
a weapon to kill Damon.

1428
01:19:18,530 --> 01:19:21,800
- Oh yeah, well, I don't
need my ho saw to kill you.

1429
01:19:21,800 --> 01:19:23,473
- [Damon] Crap, you suck.

1430
01:19:26,012 --> 01:19:31,012
- Ha!

1431
01:19:50,454 --> 01:19:51,287
Oh.

1432
01:20:04,569 --> 01:20:07,319
(birds chirping)

1433
01:20:11,567 --> 01:20:14,900
(monster mumbling)

1434
01:20:14,900 --> 01:20:17,034
Hey, my socks.

1435
01:20:17,034 --> 01:20:19,170
(monster squealing)

1436
01:20:19,170 --> 01:20:21,223
Oh yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that.

1437
01:20:21,223 --> 01:20:22,850
(screaming)

1438
01:20:22,850 --> 01:20:24,838
(groaning)

1439
01:20:24,838 --> 01:20:27,088
(groaning)

1440
01:20:29,940 --> 01:20:30,773
- Wait!

1441
01:20:36,894 --> 01:20:39,144
(groaning)

1442
01:20:41,027 --> 01:20:42,318
- Oh, my nads.

1443
01:20:42,318 --> 01:20:45,318
(suspenseful music)

1444
01:20:57,769 --> 01:20:58,602
- Stop it.

1445
01:20:58,602 --> 01:20:59,435
- That almost hit me.

1446
01:20:59,435 --> 01:21:00,788
- Ow.

1447
01:21:00,788 --> 01:21:01,621
Stop it.

1448
01:21:05,241 --> 01:21:06,350
- Ha.

1449
01:21:06,350 --> 01:21:08,770
- You tied her to the train tracks?

1450
01:21:08,770 --> 01:21:12,930
- Yes, and she's still alive,
so I guess you're lucky.

1451
01:21:12,930 --> 01:21:15,910
Not really, these tracks have
been outta use for years.

1452
01:21:15,910 --> 01:21:16,900
- Really?

1453
01:21:16,900 --> 01:21:18,350
- Yeah.

1454
01:21:18,350 --> 01:21:20,410
- Man, I shoulda checked into that.

1455
01:21:20,410 --> 01:21:22,310
I always to do that, you know,
like when I'm just killing

1456
01:21:22,310 --> 01:21:23,830
a guy, I'm great at that,

1457
01:21:23,830 --> 01:21:25,670
I'm like one of the best in my field.

1458
01:21:25,670 --> 01:21:27,945
But when I go for the
super villain sorta stuff,

1459
01:21:27,945 --> 01:21:30,520
I don't check everything
through and I just mess

1460
01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:31,353
everything up every time.

1461
01:21:31,353 --> 01:21:33,300
- It's okay, dude.

1462
01:21:33,300 --> 01:21:34,711
- The train isn't gonna come.

1463
01:21:34,711 --> 01:21:36,961
(groaning)

1464
01:21:43,206 --> 01:21:44,670
- Oh, Herman.

1465
01:21:44,670 --> 01:21:46,840
- Yeah, I need to tell you something.

1466
01:21:46,840 --> 01:21:51,230
We had a big battle, and
Damon killed your brother.

1467
01:21:51,230 --> 01:21:52,063
- What?

1468
01:21:53,060 --> 01:21:55,490
No, where is the little bastard?

1469
01:21:55,490 --> 01:21:56,840
- Oh, he's right over here.

1470
01:21:59,290 --> 01:22:02,263
Huh. Well, I guess he musta run off.

1471
01:22:03,660 --> 01:22:06,000
Dude, she's 12!

1472
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:07,370
- What?

1473
01:22:07,370 --> 01:22:08,480
- What's wrong with you?

1474
01:22:08,480 --> 01:22:10,740
Your brother's dead, you should be sad.

1475
01:22:10,740 --> 01:22:14,430
- You're not the boss of
me. I hate you, Herman!

1476
01:22:15,808 --> 01:22:16,641
- 12?

1477
01:22:19,931 --> 01:22:22,098
(sighing)

1478
01:22:23,530 --> 01:22:24,363
Pfft.

1479
01:22:26,728 --> 01:22:28,978
(groaning)

1480
01:22:33,429 --> 01:22:36,179
(dramatic music)

1481
01:22:58,246 --> 01:22:59,335
- Oh shit.

1482
01:22:59,335 --> 01:23:01,668
(screaming)

1483
01:23:12,071 --> 01:23:14,404
(splashing)

1484
01:23:20,272 --> 01:23:21,105
Woo!

1485
01:23:22,208 --> 01:23:23,041
- Ah!

1486
01:23:25,260 --> 01:23:27,510
(groaning)

1487
01:23:32,611 --> 01:23:35,040
You know, we're a lot alike,
the two of us, Hermie.

1488
01:23:35,040 --> 01:23:38,160
Male, early 20s, Caucasian.

1489
01:23:38,160 --> 01:23:39,710
We live in the same house.

1490
01:23:39,710 --> 01:23:41,160
We even have brown hair.

1491
01:23:41,160 --> 01:23:44,710
- I'm nothing like you. You suck.

1492
01:23:44,710 --> 01:23:46,813
- You die.

1493
01:23:48,269 --> 01:23:50,340
(groaning)

1494
01:23:50,340 --> 01:23:51,227
Yeah!

1495
01:23:51,227 --> 01:23:53,394
(groaning)

1496
01:23:53,394 --> 01:23:56,144
(dramatic music)

1497
01:24:32,233 --> 01:24:35,425
(bird calling)

1498
01:24:35,425 --> 01:24:38,409
(screaming)

1499
01:24:38,409 --> 01:24:40,659
(groaning)

1500
01:24:46,784 --> 01:24:48,760
- Ow, no fish hooks.

1501
01:24:48,760 --> 01:24:51,010
(groaning)

1502
01:24:54,210 --> 01:24:55,753
It looks like you beat me.

1503
01:24:57,340 --> 01:24:58,600
I just want you to know,

1504
01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:00,350
you were my favorite roommate ever.

1505
01:25:02,243 --> 01:25:03,493
On the flip side, Hermie.

1506
01:25:04,480 --> 01:25:06,017
- On the flip side, Damon.

1507
01:25:07,536 --> 01:25:10,369
(water splashing)

1508
01:25:13,301 --> 01:25:16,468
(gentle guitar music)

1509
01:25:39,703 --> 01:25:42,983
(water flowing)

1510
01:25:42,983 --> 01:25:46,150
(gentle guitar music)

1511
01:25:52,738 --> 01:25:55,905
(anguished screaming)

1512
01:25:57,409 --> 01:26:00,576
(gentle guitar music)

1513
01:26:20,304 --> 01:26:22,971
(door creaking)

1514
01:26:24,934 --> 01:26:27,851
(doorbell ringing)

1515
01:26:30,357 --> 01:26:31,570
- May I help you?

1516
01:26:31,570 --> 01:26:35,530
- Uh, yeah, my name is Bernard McCloud.

1517
01:26:35,530 --> 01:26:37,613
I, uh, I found your flyer.

1518
01:26:38,637 --> 01:26:39,803
- Oh yeah, come on in.

1519
01:26:43,743 --> 01:26:47,330
So, can I interest you in a
protein shake, maybe a weight?

1520
01:26:47,330 --> 01:26:50,820
- Uh, no, I'll just have
a Coke, if you've got one.

1521
01:26:50,820 --> 01:26:52,983
- You know, carbonation is bad for you.

1522
01:26:55,450 --> 01:26:56,983
- Okay.
- Let's go upstairs.

1523
01:26:58,384 --> 01:26:59,217
- Ow.

1524
01:27:00,370 --> 01:27:01,860
- So, you a student, McCullough?

1525
01:27:01,860 --> 01:27:02,693
- McCloud.

1526
01:27:03,750 --> 01:27:05,380
Actually, no, I'm taking a year off.

1527
01:27:05,380 --> 01:27:07,707
I wanna see what the real world is like.

1528
01:27:07,707 --> 01:27:08,930
- Oh, what are you studying?

1529
01:27:08,930 --> 01:27:10,130
- World history.

1530
01:27:10,130 --> 01:27:12,200
- Ah, you should get
along well with Herman.

1531
01:27:12,200 --> 01:27:13,965
He's a nerd too.

1532
01:27:13,965 --> 01:27:14,860
- Is he another roommate?

1533
01:27:14,860 --> 01:27:17,010
- Only roommate. Others
keep joining cults.

1534
01:27:24,380 --> 01:27:27,240
- (clears throat) Okay,
whose room is this?

1535
01:27:27,240 --> 01:27:28,073
- Yours.

1536
01:27:30,830 --> 01:27:32,710
- Why is there all this stuff in here?

1537
01:27:32,710 --> 01:27:35,380
- That's Elliot's. He
disappeared a few days ago.

1538
01:27:35,380 --> 01:27:37,070
Musta joined a cult.

1539
01:27:37,070 --> 01:27:38,360
Damnedest thing, too.

1540
01:27:38,360 --> 01:27:40,713
He left all this stuff,
but he took his dog.

1541
01:27:42,407 --> 01:27:46,090
- Okay, uh, so where's the laundry room?

1542
01:27:46,090 --> 01:27:49,167
- Downstairs. Would you take that for me?

1543
01:27:52,680 --> 01:27:53,545
- Will do.

1544
01:27:53,545 --> 01:27:56,045
(light music)

1545
01:28:04,120 --> 01:28:08,260
Ah, God! Sorry, you scared
me, I didn't see you there.

1546
01:28:08,260 --> 01:28:10,690
- So you must be Bernard,
the new roommate.

1547
01:28:10,690 --> 01:28:12,270
Hi, I'm Herman.

1548
01:28:12,270 --> 01:28:13,620
- Nice to meet you, Herman.

1549
01:28:14,940 --> 01:28:17,470
- Be careful. You almost
dropped something.

1550
01:28:17,470 --> 01:28:21,140
I should warn you. It's a
bit of a pet peeve of mine.

1551
01:28:21,140 --> 01:28:22,200
I don't like it when people leave

1552
01:28:22,200 --> 01:28:23,653
their clothes lying around.

1553
01:28:24,490 --> 01:28:28,290
It really, really bothers me.

1554
01:28:28,290 --> 01:28:31,223
It's just so, inconsiderate.

1555
01:28:33,710 --> 01:28:34,543
- O-Okay.

1556
01:28:35,590 --> 01:28:37,733
- Well, on the flip side, Bernie, ka-caio.

1557
01:28:43,194 --> 01:28:44,763
- Hm, Bernie. Bernie.

1558
01:28:46,794 --> 01:28:49,627
(hammer pounding)

1559
01:29:05,171 --> 01:29:08,338
(gentle guitar music)

1560
01:29:29,463 --> 01:29:31,448
(door creaking)

1561
01:29:31,448 --> 01:29:32,710
- Ah!

1562
01:29:32,710 --> 01:29:35,327
- Whatever, sphincter, you're so (laughs).

1563
01:29:37,040 --> 01:29:40,570
- Caliphs conquered Syria,
Iraq and most of Persia.

1564
01:29:40,570 --> 01:29:41,403
- I wanna just rip it.

1565
01:29:41,403 --> 01:29:43,020
I can't. I'm sorry, I ...

1566
01:29:43,020 --> 01:29:44,551
First of all, your tie, with the ...

1567
01:29:44,551 --> 01:29:45,384
- Oh!

1568
01:29:46,463 --> 01:29:47,903
(laughing)

1569
01:29:47,903 --> 01:29:50,380
- Hermie, I just thought of
a logical excuse as to why

1570
01:29:50,380 --> 01:29:53,167
the dirt around the graves,
things, is all (stutters).

1571
01:29:54,590 --> 01:29:55,493
Oh, hi, Blaine.

1572
01:29:57,020 --> 01:29:57,898
Fuck!

1573
01:29:57,898 --> 01:30:00,770
(screaming)

1574
01:30:00,770 --> 01:30:01,603
Hey!

1575
01:30:02,980 --> 01:30:04,307
I'm a bedwetter.

1576
01:30:05,740 --> 01:30:09,175
- (laughs) Goddam, what are you doing?

1577
01:30:09,175 --> 01:30:11,828
(gentle guitar music)

1578
01:30:11,828 --> 01:30:13,429
- Oh.

1579
01:30:13,429 --> 01:30:15,510
(laughing)

1580
01:30:15,510 --> 01:30:16,343
- Uh.

1581
01:30:17,280 --> 01:30:20,024
Yeah, my name is Jeremy McCloud.

1582
01:30:20,024 --> 01:30:22,068
I, uh, found your flyer.

1583
01:30:22,068 --> 01:30:22,901
- Ah.

1584
01:30:22,901 --> 01:30:24,460
- [Producer] Your name's not
Jeremy. His name's Jeremy.

1585
01:30:24,460 --> 01:30:27,508
(laughing)

1586
01:30:27,508 --> 01:30:28,460
- Asshole.

1587
01:30:28,460 --> 01:30:30,213
- I'm going to Carrie's.

1588
01:30:31,780 --> 01:30:33,799
(laughing)

1589
01:30:33,799 --> 01:30:36,132
(screaming)

1590
01:30:38,418 --> 01:30:40,668
(laughing)

1591
01:30:40,668 --> 01:30:42,794
(squealing)

1592
01:30:42,794 --> 01:30:44,076
- You.

1593
01:30:44,076 --> 01:30:46,863
(items clattering)

1594
01:30:46,863 --> 01:30:48,120
(laughing)

1595
01:30:48,120 --> 01:30:49,800
When humans dress up like animals

1596
01:30:49,800 --> 01:30:51,500
and can't see where they're going.

1597
01:30:52,740 --> 01:30:53,573
Part Two.

1598
01:30:55,072 --> 01:30:57,322
(laughing)

1599
01:30:58,979 --> 01:31:00,859
(groaning)

1600
01:31:00,859 --> 01:31:01,973
(laughing)

1601
01:31:01,973 --> 01:31:03,890
- Oh, that hurt so bad.

1602
01:31:05,045 --> 01:31:06,037
Oh.

1603
01:31:06,037 --> 01:31:08,587
(gentle guitar music)

1604
01:31:08,587 --> 01:31:10,837
(laughing)

1605
01:31:11,836 --> 01:31:13,356
Oh, he punched me in the face.

1606
01:31:13,356 --> 01:31:15,606
(laughing)

1607
01:31:20,724 --> 01:31:21,557
Fuck.

1608
01:31:25,327 --> 01:31:27,160
- [Herman] Oh, my God.

1609
01:31:28,547 --> 01:31:30,330
- [Damon] Fuck, shit!

1610
01:31:30,330 --> 01:31:32,570
- I have a friend there I
can stay with, hopefully.

1611
01:31:32,570 --> 01:31:34,480
- Just graduated, huh?

1612
01:31:34,480 --> 01:31:35,457
- I'm hoping to find a job in my field.

1613
01:31:35,457 --> 01:31:40,457
- Jesus, how many times
we have to do this?

1614
01:31:40,716 --> 01:31:41,549
Come on.

1615
01:31:41,549 --> 01:31:42,382
- Ow.

1616
01:31:44,890 --> 01:31:47,943
- He's seriously fucking this up, dude.

1617
01:31:49,081 --> 01:31:50,597
He's fucking this up.

1618
01:31:50,597 --> 01:31:52,279
- I'll get you. I'll--

1619
01:31:52,279 --> 01:31:54,279
- [Hugo] That's assault. That's assault.

1620
01:31:55,571 --> 01:31:58,740
- [Herman] You tied her
to the railroad tracks?

1621
01:31:58,740 --> 01:32:00,520
- Yes, and she's still alive.

1622
01:32:00,520 --> 01:32:02,198
So I guess you're ...

1623
01:32:02,198 --> 01:32:03,953
A train coming (laughs).

1624
01:32:03,953 --> 01:32:04,786
- Oh shit.

1625
01:32:06,210 --> 01:32:10,367
This is the most uncool
thing I've ever done.

1626
01:32:10,367 --> 01:32:13,284
(train clattering)

1627
01:32:16,162 --> 01:32:17,412
- Dude! Dammit.

1628
01:32:19,983 --> 01:32:22,233
(groaning)

1629
01:32:23,506 --> 01:32:24,798
- [Producer] Can you do it again?

1630
01:32:24,798 --> 01:32:25,631
- Yeah, I can do it.

1631
01:32:25,631 --> 01:32:28,420
If you'll note, I did not let
getting kicked in the balls

1632
01:32:28,420 --> 01:32:30,340
deter me from finishing the scene.

1633
01:32:30,340 --> 01:32:31,760
I'm a real actor.

1634
01:32:31,760 --> 01:32:33,207
- Where's your shirt?

1635
01:32:33,207 --> 01:32:35,457
(laughing)

1636
01:32:45,112 --> 01:32:50,112
♪ Why do the birds sing to me ♪

1637
01:32:51,106 --> 01:32:55,949
♪ From a tree to me ♪

1638
01:32:55,949 --> 01:32:58,077
♪ To me ♪

1639
01:32:58,077 --> 01:32:59,650
♪ Sing to me ♪

1640
01:32:59,650 --> 01:33:00,983
- [Herman] That's so good.