1
00:00:03,344 --> 00:00:05,344
[GUITAR PLAYING]

2
00:00:06,655 --> 00:00:08,000
MY NAME'S DRAKE PARKER.

3
00:00:08,103 --> 00:00:09,689
I'M JOSH NICHOLS.

4
00:00:09,827 --> 00:00:11,551
I SHOULD PROBABLY BE
DOING MY HOMEWORK.

5
00:00:11,689 --> 00:00:13,448
I'M JUST DOING A
LITTLE HOMEWORK HERE.

6
00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:14,931
BUT IT'S MORE FUN TO DO THIS.

7
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[JAMMING]

8
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MAN, I'M THIRSTY.

9
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AH!

10
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I LIVE HERE WITH MY MOM

11
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AND MY LITTLE SISTER MEGAN.

12
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I GOT A GREAT FAMILY

13
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EVEN THOUGH IT'S
JUST ME AND MY DAD.

14
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I LOVE THAT GUY.

15
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:37,000
I LOVE GIRLS.

16
00:00:38,551 --> 00:00:40,655
SO, MY MOM'S BEEN
DATING THIS GUY.

17
00:00:40,793 --> 00:00:42,793
SO, MY DAD'S BEEN
DATING THIS WOMAN.

18
00:00:42,965 --> 00:00:44,241
SHE'S REALLY GREAT.

19
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,724
HE'S OK, BUT HE'S GOT THIS KID

20
00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:48,137
THAT GOES TO MY SCHOOL...

21
00:00:48,241 --> 00:00:50,379
SHE HAS A SON THAT
GOES TO MY SCHOOL...

22
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DRAKE. JOSH.

23
00:00:51,965 --> 00:00:53,827
IT'S NOT THAT I HAVE
ANYTHING AGAINST JOSH.

24
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I REALLY DON'T KNOW
DRAKE ALL THAT WELL.

25
00:00:56,344 --> 00:00:59,517
BUT HE SEEMS KIND OF... OK.

26
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UNUSUAL.

27
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UGH.

28
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[BLOWS WHISTLE]

29
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AAH!

30
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DRAKE!

31
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HEY, MOM... MR. NICHOLS.

32
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WHAT HAPPENED? I
HEARD SCREAMING.

33
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IT'S ALL RIGHT, SON.

34
00:01:31,586 --> 00:01:32,758
THERE'S NOTHING TO MOP HERE.

35
00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:35,448
JOSH, WHAT... WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

36
00:01:35,551 --> 00:01:36,671
WHAT... WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

37
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TELL HIM.

38
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WAIT. DRAKE, QUICK,
GET YOUR SISTER.

39
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MEGAN!

40
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UGH. ARE THEY DONE
SUCKING FACE YET?

41
00:01:46,827 --> 00:01:50,206
KIDS, JOSH'S DAD AND I

42
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HAVE BEEN GOING OUT
FOR A LONG TIME NOW,

43
00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:54,724
AND WE HAVE SOME NEWS.

44
00:01:56,931 --> 00:01:59,551
YOU GOT ME A DIRT BIKE?

45
00:01:59,655 --> 00:02:02,724
NO.

46
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WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!

47
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OH! OH!

48
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YOU'RE GETTING
MAR... MAR... MAR...

49
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YEAH. WE'RE GONNA BE
ONE BIG, OLD, HAPPY FAMILY!

50
00:02:13,068 --> 00:02:14,448
WAIT. WAIT.

51
00:02:14,586 --> 00:02:17,068
YOU MEAN, HE'S GONNA BE... BE

52
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MY... MY STEPFATHER?

53
00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:20,586
[LAUGHING]

54
00:02:22,862 --> 00:02:24,655
AND YOU!

55
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YOU'RE GONNA BE
MY... HE'S GONNA BE MY...

56
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HUG ME, BROTHER!

57
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[SCREAMING]

58
00:02:36,965 --> 00:02:39,827
♪ I NEVER THOUGHT
THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE ♪

59
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:45,000
♪ BUT I FOUND A
WAY, I FOUND A WAY ♪

60
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♪ IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND ♪

61
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♪ AND SEE WHAT'S INSIDE ♪

62
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♪ IT'S GONNA TAKE
SOME TIME TO REALIZE ♪

63
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♪ OOH, YEAH ♪

64
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♪ BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND ♪

65
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♪ OOH, YEAH ♪

66
00:03:07,034 --> 00:03:10,517
♪ OVER YOUR SHOULDER
YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU ♪

67
00:03:10,655 --> 00:03:16,275
♪ I'll ALWAYS BE PICKING
YOU UP WHEN YOU'RE DOWN ♪

68
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♪ SO JUST TURN AROUND ♪

69
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♪ OH, OH, OH ♪

70
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[KNOCKING]

71
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DRAKE, JOSH IS DOWNSTAIRS.

72
00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:34,172
OH, REALLY?

73
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,990
'CAUSE I WAS JUST
WRITING A SONG ABOUT HIM.

74
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IT'S CALLED, "I'M NOT
SHARING MY ROOM WITH JOSH."

75
00:03:41,275 --> 00:03:43,379
LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS
GONNA BE A BIG ADJUSTMENT,

76
00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:44,957
BUT I NEED YOU TO
GIVE THIS A CHANCE.

77
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BUT, MOM, HE'S
GOOFY. HE'S CLAMMY.

78
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HIYA, DRAKE!

79
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HE'S HERE.

80
00:03:52,103 --> 00:03:54,551
I BROUGHT YOU SOME
LICORICE... THE RED KIND.

81
00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:56,175
I KNOW SOME PEOPLE
LIKE THE BLACK KIND,

82
00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:59,000
BUT I THOUGHT
I'D PLAY IT SAFE...

83
00:03:59,137 --> 00:04:02,724
MOM, DON'T DO THIS TO ME.

84
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,620
I SHOULD HAVE GOT
THE BLACK KIND, RIGHT?

85
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HAVE A GOOD TIME, BOYS.

86
00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:10,586
WOW! COOL ROOM!

87
00:04:10,689 --> 00:04:12,517
OH, AND CHECK OUT THE BED!

88
00:04:12,655 --> 00:04:14,724
WAIT! WAIT! NO, NO, NO, NO.

89
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WHOO!

90
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OH.

91
00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:22,620
DUDE, THESE SHEET
MATCH MY JAMMIES!

92
00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:24,724
SO, WHERE ARE YOU GONNA SLEEP?

93
00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:27,413
THERE! I SLEEP THERE!

94
00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:29,275
YOU SLEEP ON THE COUCH.

95
00:04:29,413 --> 00:04:31,068
THE COUCH? YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.

96
00:04:31,206 --> 00:04:33,448
I HAVE LUMBAR PROBLEMS.

97
00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:39,275
AND HOW MUCH JUNK DID YOU BRING?

98
00:04:39,448 --> 00:04:42,655
EW! WHO READS THE
SCHOOL NEWSPAPER?

99
00:04:42,793 --> 00:04:45,000
I DO. IT'S GOOD.

100
00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:46,172
IT'S STUPID.

101
00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:49,172
OOH, LOOK, A POEM
BY JANITOR JONES,

102
00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:52,827
"THE TOILET; DON'T SOIL IT."

103
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,000
THAT'S CLEVER.

104
00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:57,655
RIGHT. OH, AND HERE'S THE WORST:

105
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"MISS NANCY'S ADVICE COLUMN."

106
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,620
WHAT A LOAD.

107
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A LOAD OF GOOD.

108
00:05:02,724 --> 00:05:05,931
I THINK MISS NANCY
GIVES GREAT ADVICE.

109
00:05:06,068 --> 00:05:08,448
WHATEVER, MAN. I'M GONNA
GO PLAY SOME HOOPS.

110
00:05:08,586 --> 00:05:10,551
UH, DRAKE, WHEN
WILL YOU BE BACK?

111
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,758
I DON'T KNOW. A FEW HOURS.

112
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,000
GOOD. I... I MEAN HAVE FUN

113
00:05:15,172 --> 00:05:17,655
WITH THE HOOPS AND WHATNOT.

114
00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:24,620
NOW IT'S MY TURN TO KISS YOU.

115
00:05:27,206 --> 00:05:29,896
NOW IT'S MY TURN TO KISS YOU.

116
00:05:31,068 --> 00:05:33,965
NOW IT'S MY TURN TO THROW UP.

117
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,448
DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO?

118
00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:40,034
YEAH, I'M GONNA
GO PLAY SOME BALL.

119
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:42,010
WELL, DID YOU ASK YOUR
BROTHER IF HE WANTS TO PLAY?

120
00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:44,413
YOU KNOW, MOM, I
DON'T REALLY THINK JOSH

121
00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:46,000
IS THE BASKETBALL TYPE.

122
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,172
SURE HE IS!

123
00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:48,689
YEAH, I TAUGHT HIM MYSELF.

124
00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:50,655
HERE, TOSS ME THE ROCK.

125
00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,482
[CLAPPING]

126
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,172
THINK FAST!

127
00:06:05,034 --> 00:06:07,241
LAMPS DON'T THINK THAT FAST.

128
00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:10,551
JUST GO ASK JOSH TO PLAY.

129
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,448
HEY, JOSH, YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO PLAY

130
00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:17,793
ANY BASKETB... AAH!

131
00:06:17,931 --> 00:06:20,103
[SCREAMING]

132
00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:21,344
OH, MY GOD!

133
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,482
I CAN EXPLAIN!

134
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:23,448
OH, MY GOD!

135
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,068
I CAN EXPLAIN!

136
00:06:25,172 --> 00:06:28,000
MOM! JOSH IS
DRESSED LIKE A FREAK!

137
00:06:28,103 --> 00:06:30,517
I CAN EXPLAIN!

138
00:06:33,551 --> 00:06:36,517
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
LIKE QUEEN LATIFAH?

139
00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:42,103
BECAUSE I... I... OH,
I CAN'T TELL YOU.

140
00:06:42,241 --> 00:06:44,000
MOM! JOSH IS DRESSED LIKE...

141
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:46,000
SHH! SHH! ALL
RIGHT, I'll TELL YOU,

142
00:06:46,068 --> 00:06:47,286
BUT YOU'VE GOTTA SWEAR
TO KEEP IT A SECRET.

143
00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:49,310
FINE. I SWEAR. NOW TALK.

144
00:06:49,482 --> 00:06:56,827
ALL RIGHT. I'M
A... I'M... MISS...

145
00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:59,827
[MUMBLES]

146
00:06:59,931 --> 00:07:01,586
WHAT?!

147
00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:04,620
I'M MISS NANCY.

148
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,000
OK? I AM MISS NANCY.

149
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,758
WAIT, FROM THE ADVICE COLUMN?

150
00:07:10,896 --> 00:07:12,241
FROM THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER?

151
00:07:12,413 --> 00:07:14,379
YOU'RE MISS NANCY?

152
00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:15,482
YES.

153
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,000
[LAUGHING]

154
00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:21,482
QUIT LAUGHING!

155
00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:23,931
BEING MISS NANCY'S
VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

156
00:07:24,034 --> 00:07:25,413
I HELP PEOPLE WITH
THEIR PROBLEMS.

157
00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:27,965
YOU CAN'T HELP PEOPLE
WHILE WEARING PANTS?

158
00:07:29,724 --> 00:07:32,413
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I NEED THE DRESS.

159
00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:35,482
I... I CAN'T WRITE GOOD
ADVICE UNLESS I'M WEARING IT.

160
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,103
YOU WANT SOME GOOD ADVICE?

161
00:07:37,275 --> 00:07:39,655
STOP DRESSING LIKE A LADY!

162
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,931
IF DRESSING LIKE A LADY
HELPS ME HELP OTHERS,

163
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,103
THEN DRESS LIKE A LADY I SHALL!

164
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,103
"DEAR MISS NANCY..."

165
00:07:51,275 --> 00:07:52,586
HEY, GIVE ME THAT!

166
00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:54,827
"MY BOYFRIEND
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME.

167
00:07:54,965 --> 00:07:56,000
"HE'S NEVER ROMANTIC.

168
00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:58,206
"I WISH HE WOULD
JUST BRING ME FLOWERS

169
00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,620
"OR WRITE ME POEMS

170
00:07:59,758 --> 00:08:01,000
OR COOK ME ROMANTIC DINNERS."

171
00:08:01,068 --> 00:08:03,344
THAT'S FOR MISS NANCY ONLY!

172
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,827
WAIT A SECOND!

173
00:08:04,965 --> 00:08:08,137
PURPLE INK, DOTS HER
I's WITH LITTLE HEARTS.

174
00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:10,103
THIS LETTER IS FROM
TIFFANY MARGOLIS.

175
00:08:10,275 --> 00:08:11,137
[SNIFFS]

176
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:12,862
MMM.

177
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,965
QUIT SNIFFIN' MY MAIL!

178
00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:19,172
DUDE, TIFFANY MARGOLIS

179
00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:21,000
IS, LIKE, THE HOTTEST
GIRL IN SCHOOL...

180
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:27,103
AND... SHE'S NOT HAPPY
WITH HER BOYFRIEND.

181
00:08:27,275 --> 00:08:31,827
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!

182
00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:38,689
POOR TIFFANY. SO SAD,
SO LONELY... SO HOT!

183
00:08:38,827 --> 00:08:41,655
YEAH, I THINK I CAN HELP HER.

184
00:08:41,827 --> 00:08:44,689
NO! NO, I'M NOT GONNA
LET YOU USE MY LETTERS

185
00:08:44,827 --> 00:08:47,137
FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH DESIRES.

186
00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:49,344
FINE, THEN I'll JUST
TELL THE WHOLE WORLD.

187
00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:51,379
THAT MY NEW
STEPBROTHER, JOSH NICHOLS,

188
00:08:51,482 --> 00:08:53,310
IS THE REAL LIVE MISS NANCY.

189
00:08:53,448 --> 00:08:56,448
YOU'RE NOT THAT EVIL!

190
00:08:59,344 --> 00:09:01,344
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, LISTEN UP.

191
00:09:01,482 --> 00:09:05,172
JOSH NICHOLS IS
MISS... AAH! AAH!

192
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,758
YOU CAN'T TELL
PEOPLE I'M MISS NANCY.

193
00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:11,137
YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING.

194
00:09:11,241 --> 00:09:14,724
FINE, THEN DON'T STOP ME
FROM HELPING TIFFANY. DEAL?

195
00:09:14,896 --> 00:09:16,275
ALL RIGHT.

196
00:09:16,413 --> 00:09:17,551
ALL RIGHT?

197
00:09:17,655 --> 00:09:19,275
ALL RIGHT.

198
00:09:19,379 --> 00:09:21,068
ARE THOSE REAL?

199
00:09:21,206 --> 00:09:23,310
STOP THAT!

200
00:09:25,758 --> 00:09:27,724
[BELL RINGING]

201
00:09:31,068 --> 00:09:33,965
BEAUTY. BEAUTY.

202
00:09:34,068 --> 00:09:36,000
RHYMES WITH SNOOTY.

203
00:09:36,103 --> 00:09:38,551
NO... FRUITY!

204
00:09:38,724 --> 00:09:39,724
NO...

205
00:09:41,586 --> 00:09:44,103
BEAUTY... WHAT ARE YOU WRITING?

206
00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:47,310
OH, NOTHING, JUST A... POEM.

207
00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:49,724
OH. YOU WRITE POETRY?

208
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:53,275
I KNOW. IT'S DUMB.

209
00:09:53,413 --> 00:09:55,689
NO. NO. I DON'T... I DON'T THINK

210
00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:56,965
IT'S DUMB AT ALL.

211
00:09:57,068 --> 00:09:58,068
IS THIS FOR A CLASS?

212
00:09:58,172 --> 00:10:00,172
NO. IT'S FOR A PERSON.

213
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:02,137
OH.

214
00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:04,172
WELL, IT WOULD BE FOR A PERSON

215
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:07,241
IF I HAD A PERSON
FOR IT TO BE FOR.

216
00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:09,724
OH.

217
00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:11,241
YEAH, WELL, I SHOULD GO.

218
00:10:11,413 --> 00:10:13,620
I GOTTA GO DOWNLOAD A
RECIPE OFF THE INTERNET.

219
00:10:13,724 --> 00:10:17,034
A RECIPE? YOU COOK?

220
00:10:17,172 --> 00:10:19,413
WHEN I'M NOT PICKING
FLOWERS. LISTEN, UH...

221
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,034
TIFFANY. DRAKE.

222
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:23,310
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE
DOING ANYTHING FRIDAY NIGHT...

223
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:24,758
I'M NOT.

224
00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:27,241
REALLY? MAYBE I COULD
COOK YOU SOME DINNER.

225
00:10:27,379 --> 00:10:29,965
THAT WOULD BE NICE.

226
00:10:30,068 --> 00:10:31,172
SO, IT'S A DATE.

227
00:10:31,344 --> 00:10:34,103
SO, IT IS.

228
00:10:34,241 --> 00:10:35,310
COOL.

229
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:36,413
[BELL RINGING]

230
00:10:36,517 --> 00:10:38,344
SEE YOU.

231
00:10:40,482 --> 00:10:43,241
THAT WAS TOO EASY.

232
00:10:43,379 --> 00:10:47,965
EVIL!

233
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,586
Mr. Nichols: DRAKE, JOSH,
YOU'RE DINNER'S ON THE TABLE.

234
00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:56,758
Drake: OK.

235
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:58,551
Josh: THANKS.

236
00:11:18,758 --> 00:11:19,758
NO WAY.

237
00:11:19,931 --> 00:11:22,413
LOOK, WHAT'S THE
WHOLE REASON YOU DO

238
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:23,911
YOUR MISS NANCY
ADVICE COLUMN, HUH?

239
00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:26,000
TO HELP PEOPLE
WITH THEIR PROBLEMS

240
00:11:26,137 --> 00:11:28,034
AND/OR ISSUES.

241
00:11:28,172 --> 00:11:30,827
SO, IF I BUY TIFFANY
SOME FLOWERS,

242
00:11:30,965 --> 00:11:32,379
WRITE HER A COUPLE POEMS,

243
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,172
AND COOK HER A
NICE, ROMANTIC DINNER,

244
00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,517
THAT WILL SOLVE HER
PROBLEM, WON'T IT?

245
00:11:36,689 --> 00:11:40,517
WAIT, YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK?

246
00:11:40,655 --> 00:11:43,344
NOPE... BUT I HEAR YOU DO.

247
00:11:43,517 --> 00:11:45,862
NO. NO! NO, SIR.

248
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,586
I'M NOT COOKING
DINNER FOR TIFFANY.

249
00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:49,275
I KNOW WHO MISS NANCY IS!

250
00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:50,931
I KNOW WHO MISS NANCY...

251
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,586
OK! ALL RIGHT! I'll
COOK THE DINNER.

252
00:11:52,724 --> 00:11:54,689
AH! YOU HAND LICKER!

253
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,620
COME ON. LET'S EAT.

254
00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:09,793
[SCREAMING]

255
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,689
AH. AH.

256
00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:21,000
[SCREAMING]

257
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000
THAT'S MINE! THAT'S MINE!

258
00:12:36,344 --> 00:12:38,034
[SHATTERING]

259
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,344
THE HOSE!

260
00:12:42,448 --> 00:12:43,448
WHAT HOSE?

261
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:44,448
THE HOSE! WHAT HOSE?

262
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,034
THE WINDOW!

263
00:13:11,103 --> 00:13:13,137
[KNOCKING]

264
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,862
DRAKE, THIS RAVIOLI IS AMAZING.

265
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,413
WHAT'S IT CALLED?

266
00:13:21,586 --> 00:13:24,310
OH, WELL, YOU
KNOW, IT'S... IT'S...

267
00:13:24,448 --> 00:13:28,344
RAVIOLI FRAMA... FRAMA LAMA.

268
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,379
HMM. I NEVER HEARD OF IT.

269
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:32,413
NEITHER HAVE I.

270
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:35,448
OH, WHO'S THAT?

271
00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:36,586
JOSH!

272
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:37,793
HI. HI.

273
00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:40,310
I KNOW YOU. YOU GO
TO OUR SCHOOL, RIGHT?

274
00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:43,172
YEAH. YEAH, I DO.

275
00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:45,827
ACTUALLY, WE'RE STEPBROTHERS,

276
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,965
AND JOSH ISN'T SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW.

277
00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:52,448
I CAN'T STAY IN THE
KITCHEN FOREVER.

278
00:13:52,586 --> 00:13:53,931
WHY NOT?

279
00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:56,344
I HAVE TO USE THE
LITTLE BOY'S ROOM.

280
00:13:56,482 --> 00:13:59,172
THERE'S A SINK IN THE KITCHEN.

281
00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:02,241
JOSH, DID YOU TRY SOME OF
THIS RAVIOLI THAT DRAKE MADE?

282
00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:03,586
IT'S INCREDIBLE.

283
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:06,172
OH, IS IT?

284
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:12,793
NOW, TELL ME, DRAKE...
HOW DO YOU MAKE IT?

285
00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:17,482
YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY
TIME FOR DESSERT.

286
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,551
TIFFANY, I'll TAKE YOUR PLATE.

287
00:14:20,689 --> 00:14:23,000
YOU KNOW, YOUR STEPBROTHER
IS REALLY SOMETHING.

288
00:14:23,137 --> 00:14:24,965
YEAH, HE'S SOMETHING.

289
00:14:25,068 --> 00:14:27,620
I MEAN, HE'S... HE'S SO
SENSITIVE, YOU KNOW?

290
00:14:27,724 --> 00:14:30,448
THE FLOWERS, THE POETRY,
THIS AWESOME DINNER.

291
00:14:30,586 --> 00:14:32,965
I MEAN, MY BOYFRIEND NEVER
DOES ANY OF THIS STUFF.

292
00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,310
I KNOW.

293
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:38,000
I... MEAN... I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.

294
00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:39,344
[BANGING ON DOOR]

295
00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:40,482
WHO'S THAT?

296
00:14:40,517 --> 00:14:41,724
I DON'T KNOW.

297
00:14:41,862 --> 00:14:43,482
[BANGING]

298
00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:45,655
ALL RIGHT. ALL
RIGHT. I'M COMING.

299
00:14:48,862 --> 00:14:50,000
BUCK!

300
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:53,241
SO, IT'S TRUE!

301
00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:55,896
WHAT? THAT I HAVE A CONCUSSION?

302
00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:59,551
I TURN MY BACK FOR 5 MINUTES

303
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,413
AND YOU'RE OUT ON A DATE WITH...

304
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:02,724
WITH THIS CLOWN?

305
00:15:02,896 --> 00:15:06,103
TROUBLE... BREATHING.

306
00:15:06,275 --> 00:15:09,172
LOOK, I CAN DATE WHOEVER I WANT.

307
00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:10,724
YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN'T DATE A GUY

308
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,034
WITH NO HEAD.

309
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,275
[HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAL]

310
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,724
YOU'RE HAMBURGER MEAT.

311
00:15:14,862 --> 00:15:16,448
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

312
00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:19,344
BUT I'M A VEGETARIAN.

313
00:15:19,482 --> 00:15:23,758
MONDAY, 3:00. YOU AND ME.

314
00:15:23,862 --> 00:15:26,172
HAVE AN AMBULANCE READY.

315
00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:28,137
UGH!

316
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:33,172
THAT WAS SO ROMANTIC.

317
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:35,655
AND DESSERT IS HERE.

318
00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:38,931
JOSH, I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO PEE.

319
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:40,896
DONE.

320
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:56,724
HOW COULD YOU GET ME
INTO A FIGHT WITH BUCK?

321
00:15:56,862 --> 00:15:58,310
OH, THIS IS MY FAULT?

322
00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:00,137
OH, LET ME THINK.

323
00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:02,862
YES!

324
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,172
YOU REALIZE HE'S
GONNA DESTROY ME!

325
00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:07,137
HE'S NOT GONNA DESTROY YOU.

326
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:10,551
HE'S HUGE AND STUPID.

327
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,586
THAT'S A BAD COMBINATION.

328
00:16:14,689 --> 00:16:17,379
YOU'RE RIGHT. HE'S
GONNA KILL YOU.

329
00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:20,344
HEY, CAN I HAVE YOUR COMPUTER?

330
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,586
OH, I CAN'T FIGHT BUCK.

331
00:16:23,758 --> 00:16:26,724
HE'LL HURT ME IN SO MANY WAYS.

332
00:16:27,965 --> 00:16:29,344
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

333
00:16:30,586 --> 00:16:32,068
I GOT IT!

334
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:36,310
[GRUNTING]

335
00:16:37,482 --> 00:16:39,517
HUYUH! HUYUH!

336
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:42,344
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

337
00:16:43,758 --> 00:16:45,068
UH, HEY, DUDE?

338
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,379
YAAH!

339
00:16:49,103 --> 00:16:51,172
TAKE A BREAK.

340
00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:54,241
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

341
00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:56,103
I NEED YOU TO MAKE ME
AN EXPERT IN KARATE...

342
00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,241
BY TOMORROW.

343
00:16:57,413 --> 00:16:59,448
[LAUGHING]

344
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,413
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

345
00:17:01,517 --> 00:17:02,965
TO LEARN KARATE,

346
00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:06,862
IT TAKES YEARS OF
INTENSE TRAINING.

347
00:17:06,965 --> 00:17:08,217
YEAH, BUT CAN'T
YOU JUST GIVE HIM

348
00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:09,103
THE ONE-DAY CRASH COURSE?

349
00:17:09,241 --> 00:17:10,655
NO!

350
00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:15,896
KARATE'S IN HERE, NOT IN HERE.

351
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,482
SOMETIMES IN HERE.

352
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,586
ONE TIME IN HERE,

353
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:22,896
BUT THAT WAS AFTER I SWALLOWED

354
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,000
A BOX OF THUMBTACKS.

355
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:32,137
WHAT? DO I HAVE
SOMETHING IN MY TEETH?

356
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,862
NO! LOOK, I GOT 48 HOURS.

357
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,448
ARE YOU GONNA TEACH
ME KARATE OR NOT?

358
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,103
I AM SORRY, BOYS.

359
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:43,482
I CAN DO NOTHING FOR
YOU IN SO LITTLE TIME.

360
00:17:43,586 --> 00:17:46,241
WE'LL GIVE YOU 30 BUCKS CASH.

361
00:17:46,379 --> 00:17:48,689
LET THE TRAINING BEGIN!

362
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:51,000
WUUH! AAH!

363
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:53,344
[LENNY KRAVITZ'S
"DIG IN" PLAYING]

364
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,310
[GRUNTING]

365
00:18:04,758 --> 00:18:07,241
[SQUEALING]

366
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:09,620
HUIYAH!

367
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,310
♪ THERE IS NO WHERE TO RUN ♪

368
00:18:16,827 --> 00:18:19,827
♪ THERE IS NO WHERE TO HIDE ♪

369
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,034
♪ DON'T LET IT BEAT YOU ♪

370
00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:26,103
♪ SAY "NICE TO MEET
YOU" AND "BYE" ♪

371
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,724
OW!

372
00:18:28,896 --> 00:18:30,827
♪ AND ONCE YOU DIG IN ♪

373
00:18:33,034 --> 00:18:37,137
♪ YOU'LL FIND IT COMING
OUT THE OTHER SIDE ♪

374
00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:39,310
♪ AND ONCE YOU DIG IN ♪

375
00:18:41,068 --> 00:18:45,241
♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU'LL HAVE
YOURSELF A GOOD TIME ♪

376
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:47,103
LEFT!

377
00:18:47,241 --> 00:18:48,310
HA!

378
00:18:48,448 --> 00:18:49,310
RIGHT!

379
00:18:49,448 --> 00:18:51,827
HA!

380
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,000
[GROWLING]

381
00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:01,206
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

382
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:03,827
[SQUEALING]

383
00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:08,758
♪ YOU'LL FIND IT COMING
OUT THE OTHER SIDE ♪

384
00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:11,896
YEAH!

385
00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:17,206
♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU'LL HAVE
YOURSELF A GOOD TIME ♪

386
00:19:17,379 --> 00:19:18,689
♪ AND ONCE YOU DIG IN... ♪

387
00:19:18,862 --> 00:19:21,448
[SCREAMING]

388
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,000
YEAH! WHAT'S UP?

389
00:19:23,103 --> 00:19:25,103
WHO'S THE LITTLE GIRL NOW?

390
00:19:25,275 --> 00:19:27,206
I DID IT! THANKS, DRAKE!

391
00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:29,000
AH! NOT COMFORTABLE
WITH THE HUGGING.

392
00:19:29,172 --> 00:19:31,068
SORRY.

393
00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:32,517
SO, YOU THINK HE'S READY?

394
00:19:32,689 --> 00:19:34,655
AS READY AS 30
BUCKS WILL GET HIM.

395
00:19:34,793 --> 00:19:36,137
ALL RIGHT! YEAH.

396
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:41,517
SO... YOU BOYS LIKE
CHICKEN TENDERS?

397
00:19:48,827 --> 00:19:50,827
[BELL RINGING]

398
00:19:56,068 --> 00:19:56,965
HOW YOU FEEL?

399
00:19:57,068 --> 00:19:59,275
GOOD. STRONG. KIYAH!

400
00:19:59,413 --> 00:20:01,275
AWESOME, BUT DON'T
GET OVERCONFIDENT.

401
00:20:01,448 --> 00:20:03,862
THIS GUY IS BIG,
TOUGH, AND STUPID,

402
00:20:03,965 --> 00:20:05,655
SO REMEMBER THE PLAN.

403
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:07,551
RIGHT. GO OVER IT AGAIN.

404
00:20:07,655 --> 00:20:09,068
YOU JAB, YOU KICK,

405
00:20:09,172 --> 00:20:10,793
AND YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

406
00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:12,689
MAKE HIM KEEP COMING AFTER YOU.

407
00:20:12,827 --> 00:20:14,758
EVENTUALLY, HE'LL GET
TIRED, AND THEN YOU'LL...

408
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:15,758
KIYAH!

409
00:20:15,896 --> 00:20:16,931
THAT'S MY BOY. YOU READY?

410
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:17,931
YOU BET.

411
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,172
GOOD. HERE COMES BUCK.

412
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:24,931
HOPE YOU HAVE AN
AMBULANCE STANDING BY.

413
00:20:25,068 --> 00:20:27,758
YEAH, I DO... FOR YOU!

414
00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:29,931
All: OOH!

415
00:20:31,517 --> 00:20:32,413
TALK'S CHEAP.

416
00:20:32,517 --> 00:20:35,000
40 QUARTERS ON THE NEWCOMER.

417
00:20:36,413 --> 00:20:37,275
REMEMBER THE PLAN.

418
00:20:37,413 --> 00:20:40,344
RIGHT. I JAB, I PUNCH,

419
00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:42,551
AND STAY AWAY FROM
HIM UNTIL HE GETS TIRED.

420
00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:45,482
AND THEN HE'S MY
LITTLE GIRL. KIYAH!

421
00:20:45,586 --> 00:20:47,275
DO IT!

422
00:20:48,827 --> 00:20:49,931
YOU READY?

423
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,206
OH, YEAH, BABY. COME ON!

424
00:20:51,344 --> 00:20:52,172
LET'S DO THIS! LET'S GO!

425
00:20:52,344 --> 00:20:54,137
OH!

426
00:20:59,724 --> 00:21:00,724
COME ON, TIFF.

427
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,448
LET'S GO GET SOME SORBET.

428
00:21:02,586 --> 00:21:05,000
OH, BUCK.

429
00:21:18,793 --> 00:21:20,448
WHERE IS IT? WHERE'D YOU PUT IT?

430
00:21:20,551 --> 00:21:22,379
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
NEVER TALKING TO ME AGAIN.

431
00:21:22,517 --> 00:21:24,413
I HAVE TO WRITE MY
MISS NANCY COLUMN.

432
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:28,172
NOW WHERE IS MY DRESS?

433
00:21:28,310 --> 00:21:29,655
I HID IT.

434
00:21:29,793 --> 00:21:31,758
THAT'S IT!

435
00:21:31,896 --> 00:21:34,482
YOU ARE THE WORST
STEPBROTHER EVER!

436
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:38,275
HARSH. I'M GONNA GO
MAKE MYSELF A SANDWICH.

437
00:21:38,448 --> 00:21:41,103
YOU GIVE ME MY DRESS
OR I WILL UNLEASH

438
00:21:41,206 --> 00:21:44,379
$30 WORTH OF KARATE ON YOU.

439
00:21:45,758 --> 00:21:47,000
NO.

440
00:21:47,103 --> 00:21:48,275
MAN!

441
00:21:48,344 --> 00:21:50,758
LOOK, I'M TRYING TO DO
SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU.

442
00:21:50,862 --> 00:21:51,965
YOU... YOU SAID YOURSELF

443
00:21:52,034 --> 00:21:53,394
YOU HATED DRESSING
UP LIKE A WOMAN.

444
00:21:53,517 --> 00:21:55,689
SO? SO, YOU DON'T NEED THE DRESS

445
00:21:55,793 --> 00:21:56,793
TO GIVE GOOD ADVICE.

446
00:21:56,896 --> 00:21:58,448
I TOLD YOU I DO!

447
00:21:58,586 --> 00:21:59,413
YOU DON'T.

448
00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:00,931
GIVE ME MY DRESS!

449
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,000
NO. GIVE IT!

450
00:22:02,172 --> 00:22:03,310
NOPE. DRAKE!

451
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:04,724
QUESTION: IF SOMEBODY TOLD YOU

452
00:22:04,827 --> 00:22:06,631
THAT THEY HAD TO WEAR A
DRESS TO GIVE GOOD ADVICE,

453
00:22:06,655 --> 00:22:07,862
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

454
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,320
I DON'T KNOW! WHAT
WOULD YOU SAY?

455
00:22:09,379 --> 00:22:10,931
DRAKE, I... WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

456
00:22:11,034 --> 00:22:12,551
I'D SAY THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

457
00:22:12,724 --> 00:22:15,241
I'D SAY GOOD ADVICE
COMES FROM THE HEART

458
00:22:15,413 --> 00:22:16,620
AND FROM WHAT'S INSIDE YOU,

459
00:22:16,724 --> 00:22:18,172
NOT THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR.

460
00:22:18,310 --> 00:22:19,379
THAT'S STUPID.

461
00:22:19,482 --> 00:22:20,689
IT'S NOT STUPID.

462
00:22:20,862 --> 00:22:22,379
YEAH, IT IS. THAT'S
STUPID ADVICE.

463
00:22:22,517 --> 00:22:23,862
IT'S GOOD ADVICE!

464
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,080
I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

465
00:22:25,241 --> 00:22:27,000
I SAID IT'S GOOD ADVICE!

466
00:22:27,068 --> 00:22:29,689
WELL, GUESS WHAT, JOSH.

467
00:22:29,793 --> 00:22:32,000
LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST
GAVE SOME GOOD ADVICE,

468
00:22:32,103 --> 00:22:34,310
AND I DON'T SEE YOU
WEARING ANY DRESS.

469
00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:44,413
HOLY... YOU'RE RIGHT.

470
00:22:44,551 --> 00:22:45,689
I KNOW.

471
00:22:45,793 --> 00:22:50,586
I GAVE GOOD ADVICE
WHILE WEARING PANTS!

472
00:22:50,689 --> 00:22:54,896
PRAISE BE THE PANTS!

473
00:22:55,034 --> 00:22:56,206
I NEVER HAVE TO DRESS

474
00:22:56,344 --> 00:22:59,206
LIKE A FREAKISH MAN-LADY AGAIN!

475
00:22:59,310 --> 00:23:00,344
AH, DRAKE!

476
00:23:00,482 --> 00:23:01,965
UM... SORRY.

477
00:23:02,068 --> 00:23:04,137
I FORGOT YOU'RE NOT
COMFORTABLE WITH THE HUGGING.

478
00:23:04,275 --> 00:23:06,206
THANKS.

479
00:23:06,344 --> 00:23:09,931
LOOK, MAN, HEY...

480
00:23:10,034 --> 00:23:13,034
I'M SORRY I GOT YOU
INTO THIS WHOLE THING

481
00:23:13,137 --> 00:23:15,000
WITH BUCK AND THE BLACK EYE.

482
00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:17,034
IT'S OK.

483
00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:18,689
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO.

484
00:23:20,655 --> 00:23:23,965
AND LISTEN, I'M
SORRY THAT I SAID

485
00:23:24,068 --> 00:23:26,000
YOU WERE A BAD STEPBROTHER.

486
00:23:26,137 --> 00:23:28,586
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.

487
00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:32,379
ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

488
00:23:32,551 --> 00:23:36,482
FRIENDS? NO WAY, MAN.

489
00:23:38,965 --> 00:23:40,758
WE'RE BROTHERS.

490
00:23:44,137 --> 00:23:45,620
MAY I?

491
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:50,103
HUG ME, BROTHER! 3 F1 3 F1