1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,840 RADIO PLAYS FAINTLY 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:40,640 CRICKET COMMENTARY ON RADIO 5 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:48,440 PLATES CLATTER NOISILY 6 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,520 INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: 'Room service. Thelma Caldicot speaking.' 7 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,520 'How may I help you?' 8 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,400 Thelma? 9 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,920 I'll put the milk in. 10 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,880 'Yes, well, it is a man's job, isn't it ?' 11 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,080 PIPES RATTLE 12 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,960 WATER SLOSHES 13 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,680 Did you sew the hat band back onto my Panama? 14 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,320 You saw me do it last night. 15 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,360 I don't think so. 16 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,960 You were watching television. 17 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,320 Then how could I be watching you? 18 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,280 It's over here. 19 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,320 RADIO CONTINUES 20 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,800 Sewn. Shh! 21 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,720 'Oh, blow it up your arse!' 22 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,240 Cloth. Cloth. 23 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,720 What are you doing? 24 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,160 You do know it's 11:05? Well, why didn't you say? 25 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,760 'What am I now - the talking bloody clock?' 26 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,240 'At the next stroke, it will be 11:06 precisely.' 27 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,000 Not tuna, are they? 28 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,640 No. 29 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,640 'Mad cow.' 30 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,080 No, not an apple, Thelma. 31 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,600 Haven't you got something else for me? 32 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,840 Let's see. 33 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,600 How about this? 34 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,720 Banana? 35 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,000 Morning, Thelma. How are you today? A little better? 36 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,800 It's quite nice outside - not as cold as it looks. 37 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,320 Something interesting out there? 38 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,520 Cabbages. 39 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,240 Oh, yeah. Where would the cook be without them? 40 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,600 When I come through that front door in the morning, 41 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,640 the smell hits me like mustard gas. 42 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,840 Look out. 43 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,720 Got it. Come on. 44 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,440 Goal! 45 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,760 Oh! 46 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,800 APPLAUSE 47 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,440 Run it out! Run it out! 48 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,000 HE CHUCKLES 49 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,280 Ooh, thank you. 50 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,680 MAN: Watch out! 51 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,840 Stand back! This is mine! 52 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,400 GASPS 53 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,920 Mrs Caldicot? Yes. 54 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:34,800 He wouldn't have felt anything after the initial impact. 55 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,320 I don't think so anyway. 56 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,480 Not that we can know for certain. 57 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,560 What do you think, Tina? I don't know. 58 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:58,400 Sorry. Neither of us have done this sort of thing before. 59 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,160 Ah. 60 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:04,040 We can only get better, I suppose. 61 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,400 He'd got his chrysanthemums all ready for the show next week. 62 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,920 I wouldn't worry about them for now. I'm not - I can't stand chrysanths. 63 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,880 They're bumptious, aren't they? 64 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,600 Bumptious sort of flower. 65 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,240 That's why he liked them, I suppose. 66 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,680 He wouldn't have stood for this, you know. 67 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,320 POLICE RADIO CHATTER 68 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,040 He liked me to use real polish. 69 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:41,640 Sorry. 70 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,560 No, no, we don't mind, do we? 71 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,760 No. 72 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,840 It's such a relief, you see. 73 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,400 Do you have someone we could call for you? 74 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,640 A relative or a friend? Yes, I have a son, Derek. 75 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,280 He's in property. He's at work now. Wouldn't want to disturb him. 76 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,320 I'm sure he won't mind, considering the circumstances. 77 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:06,000 It's on the erm... In the hall. 78 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,640 It's under 'Derek Office'. 79 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:12,880 Oh, it's Derek Caldicot, but you have to ask for Mr Caldicot. 80 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,840 Well, of course I'm sitting down! What bad news? 81 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:20,600 It's about your father. I'm afraid he's been...taken to hospital. 82 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,080 There must be some mistake. I spoke to him last night. 83 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,040 He was fine, absolutely fine. Have you got the right Mr Caldicot? 84 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,680 Your mother gave us your number. We're with her now. 85 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,520 'What? Who's we?' 86 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,560 PC Thorpe speaking, Mr Caldicot. 87 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,680 I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, 88 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,400 but I have to inform you that your father's dead. 89 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,040 But your colleague just said he'd been taken to hospital. 90 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:45,840 You got five? Well, he has. But he's...dead... 91 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,360 ..I'm afraid, now. 92 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,840 Look, would it be convenient for you to come and stay with your mother? 93 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,040 The thing is, I've got to go to a meeting. 94 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,640 You think you could hold her hand 95 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,760 for a little longer? Isn't your wife close by? 96 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,400 Veronica's out. You could try her on her mobile. 97 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:05,120 No, don't do that. She's at yoga. She'll have a face on her for weeks. 98 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,960 He's been a tower of strength, Derek, hasn't he? 99 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:13,080 Men - where would we be without them? 100 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,440 They're certainly full of surprises. 101 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,600 KNOCK ON DOOR 102 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,080 You don't know me, Mrs Caldicot. 103 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,240 I'm Victoria Reynolds. 104 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,640 Victoria? 105 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,400 President of the Chrysanthemum Society. 106 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,920 I wanted to come round and offer my condolences 107 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,520 on behalf of the society. 108 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:42,480 That was quick. 109 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,200 It was all very quick. 110 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,280 I was there. 111 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,120 Were you? 112 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,960 Well, you'd better come through. 113 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,120 I expect you'd like to see his chrysanths. 114 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,760 Don't they take your breath away? 115 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,680 He spent more time in the garden than in the house. 116 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:22,600 Do you mind if we show them... as a tribute? 117 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,720 We'd come round and organise everything. 118 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,600 What was it, then - some sort of chrysanthemum club cricket outing? 119 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,520 No, no. 120 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,480 A group of us used to go quite regularly. 121 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,360 I found cricket rather boring myself. 122 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,280 But Henry... 123 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,840 Henry brought it alive for us. 124 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,640 Did he? Yes. 125 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,080 Well, Victoria, you're a lot different from how he described you. 126 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,120 NURSE: How did he describe her, then? 127 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,800 Victor Reynolds. 128 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,520 Those flowers need changing, Thelma. 129 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:01,080 I'll get you some fresh. 130 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,480 Hi. You OK? 131 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,880 Yeah. 132 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,480 Right, where is she? In the kitchen. 133 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,360 What happened? 134 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,760 Cricket ball smacked between the eyes. 135 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,120 He wouldn't have liked that - going out missing a sitter. 136 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,280 He was fairly pissed apparently. 137 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,600 How is she? 138 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,280 Bearing up. 139 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,120 I've asked her to come and stay with us for a night or two. 140 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,400 A night or two? Well, that's all right, isn't it? 141 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,000 Fine. As long as it doesn't stretch into God knows how long. 142 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,080 Hello, Mum. Hello, Veronica. 143 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,440 INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: 'How are you coping?' 144 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,040 How are you coping? I'm fine, thanks. 145 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,800 'You must be numb.' 146 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,760 You must be numb. I'm making a list of my priorities. 147 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,480 A list? Such as? 148 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,560 Nails. 149 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:02,000 I want nails like yours, Veronica. What do they call that colour? 150 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,840 Cerulean haze. 151 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,240 I must make a note of that. How do you spell it? 152 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,080 Derek says you're coming to stay with us for a night or two. 153 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,040 Oh, no, I'm sorry, Veronica, that's not on my list - 154 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,440 staying with you and Derek. You've had a terrible shock, Thelma. 155 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,280 Henry lived his life very much the way he wanted 156 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,000 and he even died heading a cricket ball. 157 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,040 I think that's a great consolation. 158 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,160 You can't stay here by yourself, Mother. 159 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,920 Oh, I'd only be in the way. 160 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,400 Well, maybe so, but we're not talking weeks, 161 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,560 or even a week, are we, Derek? 162 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,920 I can't stay here, Mother. 163 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,400 I've got an important meeting first thing tomorrow 164 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,160 and now a funeral to organise. 165 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:45,160 Don't worry, I'll be fine. You two get off about your business. 166 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,200 'I've got things to do.' 167 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,280 Who knows? Perhaps mother does know best. 168 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,360 Stuck in that house with all those memories? 169 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,960 I doubt it. 170 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,000 We tried, Derek. 171 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,280 HE SIGHS 172 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,320 Did your father tell her he was leaving the house to you? 173 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,520 Yeah, I think so. She's probably forgotten. 174 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,600 Not that it matters. 175 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,400 Why not? She's got lifetime interest in it. 176 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,720 Assuming she wants to live there for the rest of her life. 177 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,520 What if she doesn't? You want her to stay with us? 178 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,560 I'm serious, Derek. 179 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,720 You're in the property business, aren't you, Derek? 180 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,920 Can't you think of something more enterprising to do with the house? 181 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,160 I suppose. Well, what? 182 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,440 Can't we just leave it for a bit? What, wait till she's dead? 183 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,480 Derek, if we don't get the mortgage down on this house soon, 184 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,240 we'll have to open it to the public. 185 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,760 And then I'm off, while I've still got moisture. 186 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,680 I can't start strong-arming my mother out of her own home. 187 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,720 For God's sake, Derek, be creative! 188 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,000 She's alone there in the house. Talk to her. 189 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,880 Give her an alternative. 190 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,560 She sounded pretty loopy this evening. 191 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,720 I just hope she doesn't do anything stupid. 192 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,040 Don't worry, I gave her one of my pills - she'll be dead to the world. 193 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,320 Sorry I've been so long, Thelma. I had to go and get them myself. 194 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,080 I used to love shopping. Course you did. 195 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,560 Before Henry retired and decided to supervise. 196 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:54,600 You spent £1.80 more on coffee this month. 197 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,640 Well, things do go up. 198 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:05,320 Then why did you spend 68p more on toilet rolls last month? 199 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,000 You had diarrhoea for two days 200 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,360 when you came back from your golf holiday. 201 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:17,240 He liked to be known as a sanitary engineer, 202 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,600 but I used to say he was in sewage. 203 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,800 Made him furious. Why are men so vain? 204 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:27,120 Vain? Do you know, I got a job once and he made me give it up. 205 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,200 He said people would think he couldn't support me. 206 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,640 There must have been good times, Thelma. 'Oh, there were.' 207 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,120 Well done! 208 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,600 'Whenever he went on one of his golfing holidays.' 209 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,640 The ball soared into the air. 210 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,960 'Unfortunately, I got ball-by-ball commentary when he got back.' 211 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,280 And with the massive backspin I put on it, 212 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:49,880 it spun back, hit the pin... and plop. 213 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,600 'Didn't you ever go on holiday together?' 'Torquay every year.' 214 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,200 'Cos he liked it. In the Vauxhall.' 215 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,120 'We had a Vauxhall cos he'd always driven one.' 216 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,440 'I booked a surprise holiday to Paris once.' 217 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,560 ALL: Quelle age avez vous? 218 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,040 'Went to night school to learn French, everything.' 219 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,320 ALL: Quarante ans. 220 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,040 'Which he hated. And then he found out about the holiday.' 221 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,960 No, no, thank you for being so understanding. 222 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,480 'Cancelled it.' Yes. 223 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,040 Families, you know. 224 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,800 Goodbye. 225 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,080 'That's when I stopped loving him.' 226 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,360 Then I went into my shell. 227 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,440 I don't think you should be on these any longer. 228 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,520 I'm gonna have a word with the matron. 229 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,200 Has this been moved? 230 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,040 I think it looks better over there. 231 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,720 APPLAUSE 232 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:57,040 Well, naturally I shall miss all the banter and the backstabbing... 233 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,360 LAUGHTER ..but this wonderful gift 234 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,000 will be a treasured reminder of you all. Thank you, thank you. 235 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,600 APPLAUSE 236 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,760 'I then took a three iron 237 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,240 and, I have to say, the shot was sheer perfection.' 238 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,200 'The ball sailed through the air 239 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,720 and with the massive backspin I put on it, 240 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:29,120 landed on the green, hit the pin... and plop.' 241 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,280 Thelma. 242 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,400 I wasn't expecting to see you here. 243 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,560 Oh, well, my name was on the rota, so I thought I'd turn up. 244 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,400 Has the doctor given you something? 245 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,360 What for? To help you sleep. 246 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,600 Oh, no, I don't need that. Oh, fine. 247 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,240 Just don't leave it until it's too late. 248 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,680 I had a friend in your situation who thought she was coping marvellously, 249 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,560 then whoosh. Whoosh? 250 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,480 Overdose. I promised I wouldn't tell a soul, 251 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,840 but you don't know Anne James, do you? No. 252 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,080 Well, you don't really count, then, do you? 253 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:32,800 Cup of tea? Yes. Oh, lovely. Thank you. 254 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,840 So are you going to be all...? 255 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,360 Oh, there you are. Are you going to be all right for money? What? 256 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,000 Has he left you all right? 'You nosey bugger.' 257 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,040 I haven't even thought about money. 258 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:10,360 I'm sure Derek will advise me about my financial affairs. 259 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,680 He was such a fine man, Henry. 260 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,880 A real gentleman. And always so well turned out. 261 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,960 I didn't know you knew him. Oh, yes. 262 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,920 We used to see him when he popped into the pub after cricket. 263 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,200 Well, I never knew that. 264 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,560 He always used to buy a drink for anyone, especially the ladies. 265 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,560 Oh, don't tell me you didn't know that. 266 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,840 Well, if he hadn't had an eye for the ladies, 267 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,880 he never would have spotted you. 268 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,920 The tea. 269 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,560 DOOR OPENS 270 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,320 We've brought you a cyclamen. 271 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,360 Nice pot. 272 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,280 Bit early for the drinking, isn't it? And on your own. 273 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,480 Well, you're here now. 274 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,560 Derek? 275 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,920 Come and look at this. What do you think happened? 276 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,800 They look as if they're all dead. 277 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,000 I thought you said you were going to water them. 278 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,840 I did, but somebody's cut all the heads off. 279 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,560 What? What? 280 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,200 Oh, well, that settles it. You can't stay here! 281 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,920 Why? Because all the chrysanthemums are dead? 282 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,440 It's not because the chrysanthemums are dead. 283 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,360 It's because someone killed them! These stems have been cut through, 284 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,760 probably with a sharp knife or a pair of scissors. 285 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:37,240 Have you called the police? Why? Is it a capital offence? 286 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,160 Fingerprints! Footprints possibly. 287 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,680 What are you looking for now? The knife they used. 288 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,680 They may have thrown it down. I wouldn't have thought so. 289 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,760 Cup of tea. 290 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,520 Look, I think we should get you somewhere where you'll be safe. 291 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,840 I'm going to check all these windows and doors are locked up tonight. 292 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,680 Whoever did this may come back. 293 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,640 Oh, I wouldn't have thought so - I've got no chrysanthemums left. 294 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,720 DOG BARKS 295 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,960 'That was when he rumbled me.' 296 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:31,480 It was bound to happen sooner or later, but I was past caring. 297 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:35,640 Sorry, Thelma, I tried, but I came with a flea in my ear. 298 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,760 Better do as we're told. 299 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,240 What did he say when he found the golf clubs? 300 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:44,040 I mean, what was left of them. I've no idea. I wasn't there. 301 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,640 It was the day before the funeral and... 302 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,120 ..all I could think about was Henry. 303 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,000 What could I wear that would've...? 304 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,120 Go on, say it. 305 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,520 That would've what? 306 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,320 Pissed him off. 307 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,040 SHE LAUGHS 308 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,640 Hello, ladies. 309 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,680 Erm...I'm looking for something a bit more formal. 310 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:15,120 I don't usually dress like this. I borrowed these from a friend. 311 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,480 My own clothes were destroyed in a fire. 312 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,680 What did you have in mind? 313 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,760 Erm... 314 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,360 Well, those look rather nice. 315 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,800 These do have a zip up the back. 316 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:34,560 I don't care where the zip is. 317 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,400 Some of our mature customers dislike back fastenings. 318 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,120 It's a bit functional, isn't it? 319 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,880 Have you got something a bit more zhooshy? 320 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,920 Zhooshy? 321 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,680 I didn't realise that's what you had in mind. Yes. 322 00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,640 Is it for a special occasion? 323 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,680 Yes, it's for a funeral. 324 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,320 Veronica? 325 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,520 Oh, God. 326 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,160 Veronica? Derek! 327 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,520 Derek! Veronica! 328 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,120 Look at this! She's completely lost it! 329 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,960 You take the kitchen. 330 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,720 The wine's gone. 331 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,760 The bloody wine's gone! 332 00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,480 What's wrong? 333 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,680 Hello, Dr Piper. Hello. 334 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,640 Tell me you didn't do this, Mother. 335 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,360 Oh, the golf clubs, you mean? 336 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:11,120 I cut them down for the boy next door - he's only little. 337 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,280 For the boy next door? 338 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,480 These are state of the art. 339 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,200 They're perimeter weighted, titanium shafted, hand tooled! 340 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,960 For God's sake, Mother, what's got into you? 341 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,120 Well, they're no good to me, are they? Cup of tea, Doctor? 342 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:30,240 Nor his chrysanthemums, nor his cricket books or clothes. 343 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,480 And what have you done with the wine - 344 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,160 taken full bottles to the bank? 345 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,520 Oh, don't be ridiculous. I gave it to the milkman. What? 346 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,240 To take on his round. 347 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,440 One for each doorstep of his choosing. 348 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,320 Hell's teeth, Mother! They were worth hundreds of pounds! 349 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:47,360 He was particularly proud of his nose for a good vintage. 350 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,400 He's gone now, Derek, and he's taken his nose with him. 351 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,840 Have you seen enough, Doctor? 352 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,680 I'm afraid she's going to need a proper rest for a while, Derek. 353 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,040 Our company owns a couple of rest homes. 354 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,320 I'll get her into one of those right away. 355 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,560 What are you doing with those? 356 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,480 Veronica, what are you doing? 357 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,960 It's all right, Mum. It's not all right. 358 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,960 We're just concerned about you. You shouldn't be here on your own. 359 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,520 You're a danger to yourself. I'm not. 360 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,200 You need looking after. Here we are, Thelma. 361 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,320 A little something to help you through the difficult days. 362 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,840 SOMBRE ORGAN MUSIC 363 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,320 No, no, no, no. It's better we get here straight there. 364 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:06,320 OK, yeah. I'll see you later. OK, bye. 365 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,040 She's still refusing to cover up. Oh, leave her. She's out of it. 366 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,360 At least the rain kept off and she stayed upright. 367 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,760 How many people have you invited back? A dozen or so. 368 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,520 Mostly dad's old workmates. 369 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,040 You didn't mention the golf clubs? Of course not. 370 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,120 She insisted we asked some bugger from the Chrysanthemum Society. 371 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,640 Oh, Lord! 372 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,200 'Why do they have to send a wreath as big as that?' 373 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,200 'We look like we're burying the Kray brothers.' 'Kray twins.' 374 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,320 'Told them to meet us at the house in an hour.' 375 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:34,880 'That should give us a chance to settle mum in.' 376 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,840 'He would die before me, wouldn't he?' 377 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,480 'Make me realise how precious life is.' 378 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,520 'And how much of it I've missed.' 379 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:52,560 So they wouldn't even allow you to go to your own husband's funeral do? 380 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,720 No. 381 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,400 They thought it was best that I came straight here. 382 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,760 Here's Mrs Caldicot now. 383 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,840 Here we are, Matron. Bang on time. 384 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,120 Hello, Derek. Nice to see you again. Hello. Hello. 385 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,880 This is my wife Veronica. Hello. 386 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,720 Mum? Hello, Mrs Caldicot. 387 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,240 Lovely to have you with us. My name is Henry Hawksmoor. 388 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,240 And this is our Matron. Miss Lockwood. Hello. 389 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,200 All right, Mum? MATRON: Welcome. 390 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,880 Welcome, dear. Mum? 391 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,440 There we are. HE CHUCKLES 392 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,880 You come away in, dear. Come with me. All right? That's it. 393 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,840 Derek, take that, will you? Yeah. 394 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,640 Hello. How do you do? 395 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,640 Good journey down? We almost got lost. 396 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,680 Do go in. Oh, thank you, Derek. 397 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,320 Mr Hawksmoor will show you around. Thank you, Matron. 398 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:48,520 Yes, if you'd like to follow me. 399 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:52,240 We're actually serving luncheon at the moment. 400 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,600 Melon fantails, followed by goujons of pork 401 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,800 and fresh green vegetables of the day. 402 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,640 That'll be cabbage. Yes, yes. Aromatic, of course, 403 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,960 but full of iron and other essential vitamins. 404 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,440 Our consultant nutritionist pays regular visits 405 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,200 in order to ensure the maintenance of standard. 406 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,880 We do have, of course, two - a choice of dining rooms. 407 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,680 Ah, here we are. Miss Nightingale. 408 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,600 Enjoying lunch? 409 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,240 Lunch, Headmaster? Yes, dear. 410 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,000 I'm sorry. You must be mistaken. 411 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,480 Yes, but you're enjoying it anyway. What? 412 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,640 Whatever it is you're having. 413 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,720 I don't know. It's a kind of...something. 414 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,920 Yes. Eat it up there. 415 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,880 Miss Nightingale - early onset dementia. 416 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,480 Used to be a primary headmistress. It's very sad. 417 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,760 Nice, isn't it? 418 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,760 Mrs Caldicot will have silver service in her room to start with, 419 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,120 but later on she'll be encouraged to come down here 420 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,480 and share a joke and the gossip. 421 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,280 Did you hear that? 422 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,040 Is this a hospital? No, Mum, it's one of our rest homes. 423 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,960 It's more like a hotel, actually. 424 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,600 The lounge. 425 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,360 The lounge, of course, is kept at a constant temperature. 426 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,120 It's light and airy. Lovely view, of course, 427 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,800 of the tennis court in the distance. And the colour television, 428 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,120 which er...appears to be on the blink. 429 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,880 It's been on the blink the whole blinking week. 430 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,240 So you should have said, Mr Livingstone. 431 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,560 I did. Why aren't you eating? 432 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,040 Call it my survival instinct, Hawthorn. 433 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,920 Mr Livingstone is something of a card. 434 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,800 Ex-RAF Bomber Command. Isn't that right, Mr Livingstone? 435 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,840 You keep quiet about the television and I won't mention Dresden. 436 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,360 Is it a deal? Don't make me laugh, Hawkins - 437 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,560 I've got a split lip ! 438 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,360 Our aim here is to create a happy and relaxed atmosphere. 439 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:57,080 Underpinned, of course, with a fierce attention to detail. 440 00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:01,120 Anything less would be a betrayal of our guests and our calling. 441 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,560 And Manor Park Properties. Ah. 442 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,960 Any questions, Mum? When are we going home? 443 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,800 This is going to be your home for a while. 444 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,640 You'll be looked after night and day. 445 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,160 We told you all about this. I don't remember. 446 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:21,840 She's a bit emotional at the moment. 447 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,800 Well, of course she is. It's only natural. 448 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:28,400 I can help Matron show her to her room if she'd like. No, thank you. 449 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,840 I think we'd like to see the bedrooms now. Yes, of course. 450 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,360 Matron? Matron? 451 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:39,200 Ah. I think it's time for Mrs Caldicot to see the penthouse. 452 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,480 Of course. Would you like to follow me? 453 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,000 Here we are. The Balmoral Suite. 454 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,160 Oh, this is lovely. This is great. 455 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,720 First time you've been here? Yes, yes, and I'm impressed. 456 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,800 Look at that view! Sit down here, Mrs Caldicot. 457 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,640 Look at all this cupboard space. En suite bathroom. Very nice. 458 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,880 You've always wanted one of those, haven't you, Mum? 459 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,360 There you go. Let's put these here. 460 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:17,320 There you go, Mum. Just so you don't forget your own nearest and dearest. 461 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,880 Shall I unpack for you? 462 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,080 Oh, don't worry, we'll sort her things out. 463 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,800 We'll soon have her feeling at home, won't we, Mrs Caldicot? 464 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:31,600 Right, then. 465 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,280 We'll be off now, Mum. 466 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,240 You're in good hands. 467 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,520 One of us will pop in and see you tomorrow or the day after. 468 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,600 All right? 469 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,000 Bye, Thelma. 470 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,360 She seemed settled. 471 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,440 How could you tell? She didn't cry. 472 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,160 Well, she didn't laugh either. 473 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,520 When the pills wear off, she'll come looking for us. 474 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,440 This is one of our prime properties. 475 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,480 You're joking. 476 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,240 SHE GROANS 477 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,960 Cabbage. 478 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,160 Stop at the car wash on the way home and I'll run myself though it. 479 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,360 There we are, Thelma. 480 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,120 Down the hatch. 481 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,280 Another glass of water, Nurse. 482 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,400 We forgot to take our pills, didn't we, dear? 483 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,200 I don't want them. 484 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:56,920 I know that. 485 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,720 And when we're a little better, we can stop taking them. 486 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,000 We are better, aren't we, Gina? 487 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,520 Come on, Thelma, don't be awkward. You've got visitors coming. 488 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:09,000 Visitors? Your son and your solicitor. 489 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,800 Solicitor? 490 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,320 You want to be nice and calm for when they come, don't you? 491 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,080 Come on now. Open. Head back. 492 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,360 There we are. 493 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,720 Don't know what all the fuss was about. 494 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,400 So what's this master plan you've come up with? 495 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,400 OK, I don't think it would be wise for her to go back to the house. 496 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,320 Too many memories. Exactly. 497 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,800 That's why I've had a chat with JB. 498 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,600 JB? What about? 499 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,600 Er...about buying the house. 500 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,240 Off who? Off mum. 501 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,440 Why? Your father left it to you. 502 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,840 I know, I know, but I can't do anything with it until mum dies. 503 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,960 Unless she agrees to sell me her right to live in it. 504 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,880 For how much? Roughly the price of the house. 505 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,840 So where are we going to get all this money from? 506 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,400 Well, that's where JB comes in. 507 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:09,320 What's your boss got to do with it? 'Be creative,' yous said. 508 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,080 Look, listen, listen. 509 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,960 I give mum a lump sum, loaned to be by JB, 510 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,480 then we knock it down. Knock down the house? 511 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:18,720 What's the street gonna say? They're gonna go mad. 512 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,560 There's a piece of land at the back big enough for 20 houses. 513 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,280 The planners have already given us the nod. 514 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,000 And what do we get? 515 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,720 Enough to knock our mortgage on the head 516 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,760 and lots of spending money. 517 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,480 Hit the ground running, eh? 518 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,880 I should threaten to leave you more often. 519 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,160 Jim Dale, please. 520 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,880 Right, let's see what we can get for the contents. 521 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,600 DEREK: Of course you know Mr Dale. 522 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,880 I don't think so. 523 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:52,520 He's the family solicitor. 524 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,280 Your father had a solicitor. 525 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,920 Yes, Dale. This is Mr Dale. 526 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:02,880 He drew up father's will. 527 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,080 Actually, I don't think Henry ever did introduce us, did he? 528 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:15,120 Anyway, what he's here to do is to make sure you're looked after. 529 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,440 Not just for now but in the future. 530 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,360 They are looking after you here, aren't they? 531 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:26,400 I mean, there's that nice nurse. Gina, is it? Gina. Yep. 532 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,520 Well, she's here whenever you need her, isn't she? Yeah. 533 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,360 That's the sort of care I'm talking about. 534 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,240 But it costs a lot of money. 535 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,280 Money? 536 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,560 So er...Mr Dale and I have drawn up a scheme 537 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,240 which means you won't have to worry about that. 538 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,000 KNOCK ON DOOR Come in. 539 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,280 You see, with a lump sum, you've got options. 540 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,000 When you're a bit stronger, you can buy a bungalow. 541 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:05,200 Or better still, you'd have enough from your investments to stay here. 542 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,440 So you really have got nothing to lose. 543 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,240 Now, Mr Dale has drawn up something here which er... 544 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,480 Well, if you sign this, we can just get on with it. 545 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,920 Oh, thank you. 546 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,400 Thank you, Gina. Thelma. 547 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,120 Nurse, I wonder if you could witness something for us. 548 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,360 Oh, I'm sorry, I'm needed downstairs. 549 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:34,440 It won't take long. No, really. 550 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:38,760 What's the matter? She's in no fit state to sign! 551 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,040 Nurse, we are doing this for her. 552 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,760 Then wait until she isn't medicated up to the eyeballs. 553 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,800 It can't wait. 554 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,000 She needs the money to pay for her fees. 555 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,680 I thought you owned the place. 556 00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:52,440 Yes, my company does, but they don't pay her bills. 557 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,520 I'm sorry, she has no real idea what you're proposing 558 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,040 and I'm not gonna be a party to it. 559 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,840 400? Well, if you're not going to give me what it's worth, 560 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,320 I'll take it to auction. I'll go up to 500. 561 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:09,040 Right, the kitchen. Now, obviously everything in here can go, so... 562 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,400 That's right, Mum. 563 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,920 Thank you, Matron. 564 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:32,000 Matron...where's Gina? 565 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,200 Gina? 566 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:46,960 What's happening? 567 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,000 We're moving you to the Windsor Suite. 568 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,320 Where's that? You'll see. 569 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:56,320 Gina? I'm sorry. I didn't know. 570 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,360 No need to look so worried. 571 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,160 We think you're well enough to start enjoying yourself. 572 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,440 Good morning, ladies. 573 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,120 Miss Nightingale, your bed's over there. 574 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,400 This is Mrs Caldicot. 575 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,240 And this is your bed, dear. 576 00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:39,320 There you are, little fella. 577 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,920 You can't support all these. 578 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,640 I'll bring you a nice drink of water after dinner. 579 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,920 Leave the plants alone, Mr Hewitt. 580 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,280 Time they were done. It's not your job. 581 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,400 Sit down and have your lunch before it gets cold. 582 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:56,360 It comes cold. You're in the way, Mr Hewitt. Nurse! 583 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,200 That's the whole damn trouble here - we're all in the way. 584 00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:02,000 MIMICKING: That's the whole damn trouble here - we're all in the way. 585 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,560 Oh, don't you start. Don't you start. 586 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,080 Does she always do that? Yes. 587 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,960 Would you like these? 588 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,720 No, thank you. I don't smoke. 589 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:17,360 Struth! To think I spent five years 590 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,360 with a bomb strapped to my arse just for this! 591 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,600 HAWKSMOOR: For goodness' sake, Enid, 592 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:25,000 will you get your feet on the supports and out of the spokes? 593 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,800 I don't think she can help it - she's got no feeling in her legs. 594 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,320 Thank you, Miss Nightingale. 595 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,160 We can do without your vast medical experience ! 596 00:38:36,720 --> 00:38:38,760 He sounds just like Henry. 597 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,480 Don't push it around the plate, Mrs Caldicot. 598 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:42,960 Get it down. 599 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,560 SHE PUTS DOWN CUTLERY 600 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,200 That's all there is until six o'clock. Chop chop. 601 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,720 Don't... 602 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,720 ..upset yourself, love. 603 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,920 It's not worth it. Hm. 604 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,960 You're obviously very fond of plants. 605 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,960 Aye. 606 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,000 You'd think it was a crime around here. 607 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,120 Wouldn't they let you look after a bit of the garden? 608 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,000 No. 609 00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:42,360 Hawksmoor says... people wouldn't pay good money 610 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:46,640 if they saw the residents all mucky and sweaty in the garden. 611 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,560 You think they'd encourage you to take an interest. 612 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:53,800 The only thing they encourage people to do around here is sleep. 613 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,520 Hey, don't take the pills. 614 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,720 Guess what he's playing. 615 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,200 I've no idea. 616 00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:24,600 Oh, aye, I've watched him for years. 617 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,280 I don't know. I... 618 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,200 Well, guess. Go on, go on. Just have a guess. 619 00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:35,880 I don't know. Er...Beethoven? Mozart? 620 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,080 Oh, God, no! No, no. 621 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,920 He wouldn't play German music. 622 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,440 What, then? 623 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,440 Beside the Seaside. 624 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,240 Yeah. What? 625 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:52,320 # Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside 626 00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,200 # Oh, I do like to be beside the sea. # 627 00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:57,680 You're a bloody semitone out, Hewitt! 628 00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:59,120 Sorry, Bernard. 629 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,680 And about 20 bars behind. 630 00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,200 Why don't you play the real thing? 631 00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:06,680 It's locked, courtesy of the top brass. 632 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:09,640 It would only disturb the guests. 633 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:10,960 Look at them! 634 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,920 They're all as deaf as posts. 635 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,680 Too noisy? Keep them all awake? 636 00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:19,680 If only it would. 637 00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:22,880 You're going to be talking to yourself till dinner time. 638 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,440 HE SNORES 639 00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:33,360 ORGAN MUSIC FADES IN 640 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,280 But you like company. 641 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,320 I want to go home, Derek. There's nobody to look after you. 642 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,560 And frankly, Mum, I couldn't leave you there alone. 643 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,520 You wouldn't want to come home with Veronica and me, would you? 644 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,560 With Veronica? No, thank you. Well, that's what I thought. 645 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,280 Mum, you have to trust me like you trusted Dad. 646 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,440 You still haven't told me why they've moved me. 647 00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:01,400 Because you don't need the constant nursing any longer. 648 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:05,080 Plus there's a financial advantage. You sound just like him now. What? 649 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:06,840 Your father. 650 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,280 Look, I've invested a lump sum for you... A lump sum? 651 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:13,280 So you will have a steady income. But you've still got to be careful. 652 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,320 A lump sum... Yeah, from the sale of the house. 653 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,080 What? 654 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,200 The... The house has been sold? 655 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:22,440 Yes. My house? 656 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:26,320 Well, my house, actually, Mum, but, yes. 657 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,280 Don't you remember? You signed the papers. 658 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,760 Don't you remember? You signed the papers. 659 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,880 How's Thelma? 660 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,160 All the better for someone to talk to. 661 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,760 Well, it could be a bit livelier 662 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,600 if your son got Hawksmoor to change the regime here. 663 00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,040 What do you mean? Don't be fooled by the uniforms. 664 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,680 We're not properly trained, but we're cheap. 665 00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:54,640 You mean people get neglected? 666 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,920 No, not exactly. 667 00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,280 You see Miss Nightingale? 668 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:03,800 She's got early onset dementia, but she's more mobile than you'd think. 669 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,400 And she can hold a good conversation. 670 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,800 Suddenly she's off into her own world again 671 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,440 or behaving like a child. 672 00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,840 No, she just needs a bit of TLC. 673 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,440 Which would mean more costly staff. So they shove a pill down her. 674 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:23,360 Same with Mrs Peterborough. Now, she really does have a problem. 675 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,040 Bless her. 676 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,120 She feels she's got no personality of her own. 677 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,560 That's why she mimics everyone. 678 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,320 In fact, she's as strong as a horse. 679 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,480 Now, the only way that Matron can keep her completely quiet 680 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:40,720 would be to knock her out. That's expensive on the nursing. 681 00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,040 So they just keep her drowsy? 682 00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,680 Minimum maintenance. It's all down to money. 683 00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:48,520 SHE MUMBLES 684 00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,200 Hello, Nancy. 685 00:43:52,240 --> 00:43:54,720 Nearly lunchtime. I've got your medication here. 686 00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,040 Nancy, would you like me to do the pills for you? 687 00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,040 I know how busy you girls get at mealtimes. 688 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,760 Oh, well, I shouldn't really, but it would be a help. 689 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,320 Sure you don't mind? Not at all. Give me something to do. 690 00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,720 Here you are, then. Make sure you get them down them. 691 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:08,520 Oh, they'll go down, all right. 692 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,960 She's gone. 693 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,840 Promise you won't tell Miss Knight that we played a trick on her 694 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,640 or we'll have to stay in again after school. 695 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,320 I won't tell, Audrey. I'm your friend. 696 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:28,280 Hewitt and I have been considering you very carefully, Mr Caldicot. 697 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,360 Have you now? And we are agreed 698 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,760 that you should be asked to join our escape committee. 699 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,240 How many have you got? Just Hewitt and me. 700 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,960 I'm the brains, he's the brawn. So he reckons. 701 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:43,280 So what's the plan? Tunnelling was the favoured option 702 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,680 and then Hewitt here went and lost the bloody trowel. 703 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:49,960 So now what? Well, currently we have a plan 704 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:53,080 to kidnap two of the nurses, take their uniforms 705 00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,120 and then leave in disguise. 706 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,080 I think I've seen the film. Yes. 707 00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:00,680 Well, of course, we realised that we might not get very far 708 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:04,000 before somebody spotted something suspicious, 709 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,880 but...well, it would be a breath of fresh air for us. 710 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,960 Now you see why we need some new ideas. 711 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,960 Why don't you just walk out? 712 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,440 Oh, no, no, no, no. No, I'm serious. Why don't you? 713 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,400 Well, first, Hawksmoor's got the pension books. 714 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:23,600 Yes, and all our allowances are docked in the office. 715 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,480 Hmm. 716 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,360 Cabbage again? 717 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,200 SEXUAL GROANING 718 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:42,480 WOMAN: Oh! Oh, Henry! 719 00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,720 HAWKSMOOR: Yeah! Yeah! 720 00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:49,080 Oh! Oh! Oh, yes! 721 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,240 I'm just coming! 722 00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:08,080 What is going on? 723 00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:10,120 TOILET FLUSHES 724 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,280 Miss Nightingale... 725 00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,440 ..why aren't you eating? 726 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:26,800 Mr Hewitt? 727 00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,440 Is this your influence, Mrs Caldicot? 728 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,920 What exactly is the problem? 729 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,960 It's rubbish. That's the problem. 730 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,520 This is perfectly balanced dietary cuisine. 731 00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,040 Oh. Would you like to join us? 732 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,680 Mr Livingstone... I'm with Mrs Caldicot. 733 00:46:52,720 --> 00:46:54,840 So am I. So am I. 734 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:56,680 And me. 735 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:02,760 A missed meal can cause serious medical problems. 736 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:06,000 I hope you're prepared to take on that responsibility. 737 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,680 Thank you. 738 00:47:22,720 --> 00:47:25,280 Commander? Yes? 739 00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,960 You're flying low, old boy. 740 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,760 What? 741 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,080 ALL LAUGH 742 00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,240 Thank you. That was lovely. 743 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,880 Erm...you're new here, aren't you? 744 00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:49,080 Yes, that's right, Mr Hawksmoor. 745 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:50,840 Jolly good. 746 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,360 Mrs Caldicot. 747 00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,680 In the interests of harmony, 748 00:47:59,720 --> 00:48:02,440 I'm prepared to forget our contretemps this lunchtime. 749 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:05,040 Because of your son's position in the company, 750 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:07,280 you're a special guest here. 751 00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:11,160 All I ask is that you don't abuse your position. 752 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,120 I don't think I quite understand. 753 00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:14,880 Oh, I think you do. 754 00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:18,520 We deal here with vulnerable elderly people. 755 00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,360 They're not nearly as vulnerable as you make out. 756 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,000 Mrs Caldicot, you really have no idea. 757 00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:26,160 We deprive them of their medication 758 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,800 and then their fears, their worries and their neuroses 759 00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:33,040 run riot at great damage to themselves. And your bank balance. 760 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:39,800 If this place didn't pay its way, 761 00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:43,920 these people would be on the street looking for somewhere else to live. 762 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,080 Then they really would feel vulnerable. 763 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,240 You give it some thought. 764 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,200 Bowls. I'm sorry? 765 00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:54,800 Mr Hewitt said you confiscated the bowls. 766 00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,000 Ah, yes, yes. 767 00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,080 Matron felt it was prudent. Matron? 768 00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:04,720 Hips, knees, backs. Staff could spend days in outpatients. 769 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,400 Well, some of the residents are fit enough, surely. 770 00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:09,440 Most just think they are. 771 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,720 So no bowls? No bowls, no. 772 00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,520 Thank you, Mrs Caldicot. 773 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,880 'You're being walked all over yet again, Thelma.' 774 00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,200 'Another bloody Henry.' 775 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,920 'Well, this worm's just turned.' 776 00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,240 I'd like a word with you, young man. Why? What's your problem? 777 00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,120 Caldicot, Department of Health. 778 00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,960 I'd like to show you a serious breach of regulations. Follow me. 779 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,520 Like what? 780 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,920 Well, for a start, you should be wearing a hat and a hair net. 781 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,600 A hair net? 782 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,760 Shh. 783 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:04,240 We finally make a break and have to take the bloody cabbages with us! 784 00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:43,040 Ey up, they're coming. If you'll give me a lift into town, 785 00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,400 I'll consider overlooking it this time. 786 00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,440 OK. Great. 787 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,160 Shh. 788 00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:00,720 I think we're moving. 789 00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,800 Well spotted, Audrey. Well spotted, Audrey. 790 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:05,720 Thank you. Thank you. 791 00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,520 Did we have to bring her, of all people? 792 00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,600 What was that? 793 00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,520 Nothing. 794 00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,240 Good. 795 00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,880 'What's that banging in the back?' 'What banging?' 796 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,760 'You're not carrying immigrants, are you?' 'You can't be serious.' 797 00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,000 'I want you to stop this van immediately.' 798 00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:41,520 Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. 799 00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:49,480 I think you're in enough trouble for one day, aren't you? 800 00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:51,680 HE GROANS 801 00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:54,400 Better push off before I call the police. 802 00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:58,640 Right, you four, you're under arrest. Follow me. 803 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:08,000 Right, come on. Left, right, left, right. 804 00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:49,080 Find Nurse Hanes. 805 00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,280 Right, now, this is the spot. We need some mats. 806 00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,440 Mats? Is that what you use? Well, look, here's some. 807 00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:57,280 Right, well, grab them. 808 00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:59,600 I want a mat. Everybody take one. 809 00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,880 One for you. Bernard's with Audrey, 810 00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:03,640 and Joyce, you go with Leslie. 811 00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,800 I don't want Joyce. Can't I have Audrey? I always get Joyce. 812 00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,160 You go with him, then. No. I tell you what. 813 00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,880 If you don't stop arguing... Right, now, swap over. 814 00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,120 There we go. There you are. 815 00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,680 CHEERING 816 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,720 HAWKSMOOR: No, no. 817 00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:55,000 They're no danger to anyone, just to themselves. 818 00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:57,440 Well, let's hope so, Sergeant. 819 00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,440 That's very nice. Thanks. Thanks very much. 820 00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:04,320 What have you got to say? About what? 821 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,800 The missing patients. 822 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:11,280 I don't know what you mean. They went AWOL on your watch. 823 00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:13,400 But I was dealing with other residents. 824 00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:17,760 I found the residue of medication in the sink in their room. 825 00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,960 Isn't it your duty to see that they take it? 826 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:25,520 Don't bother to finish your shift. We'll send your papers in the post. 827 00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:27,800 Go. 828 00:55:36,720 --> 00:55:39,160 Oh, thank goodness you've found them! 829 00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:41,200 Mrs Caldicot. 830 00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,200 OFFICER: Out you get. 831 00:55:44,240 --> 00:55:47,760 Mrs Peterborough. All right, dear, in you come now. 832 00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:50,240 That's it. Safe and sound. That's good. 833 00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,160 Thanks so much, Officer. 834 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,960 And the nurses will be with you as soon as. 835 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,160 Miss Nightingale? 836 00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:00,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 837 00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:02,880 Stop that. 838 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,160 Stop it! Quiet in the house! 839 00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,640 Quiet! Upstairs, quiet, everyone! 840 00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:11,680 Thank you. 841 00:56:11,720 --> 00:56:13,400 You'll be interested to know that 842 00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:15,320 because of the jaunts of these people, 843 00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:17,520 there'll be no dinner for anyone tonight. 844 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,800 Go to your rooms. Thank you. 845 00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,960 Deep breaths, Derek. Deep breaths. 846 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,400 Say the wrong thing and she'll be coming back with us. 847 00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,360 I wanna speak to my mother in private. 848 00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:37,600 DOOR OPENING 849 00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,640 Hello. 850 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:45,760 It was a very stupid, selfish thing to do. 851 00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:49,640 Selfish? Taking geriatrics on an escapade 852 00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,080 could have had all sorts of consequences. 853 00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:55,080 We all got back safely. No thanks to you. 854 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,360 I don't know what their families will say. 855 00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:01,480 I don't think they give two hoots. Oh, like us, I suppose? 856 00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:03,360 It was just a bit of fun, Derek. 857 00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:07,080 And do you think the police had fun rounding you up? They didn't mind. 858 00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:09,680 You could've been mugged and robbed. 859 00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:12,720 What, for a handful of cabbages? 860 00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,000 Look at this. Front cover. 861 00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:16,920 Oh, it looks much better in the photo. 862 00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:19,920 Well, it's not going to look good if this gets back to HQ. What? 863 00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:22,360 That my mother is the ageing delinquent 864 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,800 running amok in one of the most successful businesses 865 00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,400 in our portfolio. It was a game of bowls, Derek, 866 00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,600 not World War III. Don't act the innocent! 867 00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:31,680 You and your gang of wizened accomplices 868 00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:36,040 deliberately cocked a snook at the management. 869 00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:39,000 Well, perhaps if I'm such a bad influence, 870 00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,240 maybe I'd better leave. 871 00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,760 This it not you talking, Mum. 872 00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,600 You've made friends here. 873 00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:54,000 More company than you've had for years. 874 00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:58,240 Can't you try just a little bit harder to make it work? 875 00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:09,480 JOYCE: No pills! No pills! You know they make you feel better. 876 00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:12,320 No pills! No arguing, Joyce. 877 00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,400 Is everybody all right? 878 00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:32,560 What's happened? 879 00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:39,560 While we were out, Edith Roberts passed away. 880 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:43,840 Oh, I am sorry. 881 00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:48,440 And Gina's been sacked. 882 00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,360 No. What for? 883 00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:55,760 She took the blame for us. She took the blame for us. 884 00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:59,600 Oh, that's awful. 885 00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:03,440 There's a note. I hid it under your pillow. 886 00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,800 "Keep taking the pills. Not." 887 00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:15,120 SHE LAUGHS 888 00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:27,000 There we are. 889 00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:36,240 Nothing like a death for keeping them quiet. 890 00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,360 INAUDIBLE WHISPER 891 00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:55,160 PHONE RINGS 892 01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:07,080 All right if I go in? Yes, go through. Thanks. 893 01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:15,280 Ah, yes. Come in, Derek. 894 01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:23,040 Something came up in conversation with our auditor 895 01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:25,600 which I thought I'd mention. 896 01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:28,360 Fire away. Don't jump the gun, Derek. 897 01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:30,520 I hope it won't come to that. 898 01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:32,640 He was working at the Twilight Years rest home 899 01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:35,240 when there was a sort of break out by residents, he said. 900 01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:37,640 Really? 901 01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:41,360 Orchestrated, apparently, by a Thelma Caldicot. 902 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,720 Your mother, right? Yes, JB. 903 01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,520 True or false? Well, there were a number 904 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,840 who sort of took off, as it were, but they were fairly harmless. 905 01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,080 That's not a view shared by Hawksmoor. 906 01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,480 He's used to one old dear wandering off in her nighty, 907 01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:58,240 but not a whole formation team. No. Have a word with her. 908 01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:00,760 I-I already have, JB. 909 01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:03,560 Good. Get them to pop her some pills or whatever they do 910 01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:06,920 before she does herself an injury. 911 01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:08,960 I wouldn't be best pleased 912 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,560 if incidents like this became a regular occurrence, Derek. 913 01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:14,600 It's bad for morale. 914 01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:17,360 Hawksmoor's turning in some good figures for us. 915 01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:28,400 Goodnight, Matron. Back to the old routine in the morning. 916 01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,400 Oh, I hope so. 917 01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:32,760 God, I've missed our afternoon therapy! 918 01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:35,920 Mmm! 919 01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:40,920 It's Eileen's bridge night tonight. I'll be back in a...couple of hours. 920 01:01:57,280 --> 01:02:00,360 How are you doing? Oh, don't tell Headmaster. 921 01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:03,240 We're making a bomb. Marvellous. 922 01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:05,840 You're doing a great job. No, no, don't wobble it - 923 01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:07,680 it'll blow up. 924 01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,640 Not tonight, Audrey. Now, Joyce, you've got to delay the nurse. 925 01:02:10,680 --> 01:02:12,880 Now, Joyce, you've got to delay the nurse. 926 01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:17,040 I don't believe it. Erm...I'll be back. 927 01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:18,800 Come on, come on. 928 01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:22,280 Supposing she won't believe me? 929 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:25,280 She will. Self-belief, Leslie. We're all depending on you. 930 01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:27,320 You know your lines. Now get in there. 931 01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:29,600 Go on. 932 01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,400 What's this - open day? 933 01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,640 This is the kitchen, Mr Hewitt. 934 01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:49,600 What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy? 935 01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:54,480 Matron's going bananas. 936 01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:56,440 She sent me to get her dinner. 937 01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:59,840 Has she? Why? Where's the nurse? 938 01:03:03,120 --> 01:03:05,760 Oh, Nurse, you'd better come quickly. 939 01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:08,400 Mrs Peterborough's plopped on the carpet. 940 01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:11,320 Great ! I'm supposed to be getting Matron's supper. 941 01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:13,640 Where's she done it? This way. 942 01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:15,760 And she hasn't done anything. 943 01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:18,960 She's just plopped down on the carpet. 944 01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,320 Here. Take it. 945 01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:24,040 I'm off. 946 01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:25,880 Don't forget to lock up. 947 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,600 'Remember, Joyce, it's your job to delay the nurse.' 948 01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:31,440 What's happened? Stop it! JOYCE GROANS 949 01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:33,920 Remember, Joyce, it's your job to delay the nurse! 950 01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,480 Remember, Joyce, it's your job to delay the nurse! 951 01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,200 Right, let's be having it. I've done it. 952 01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:45,200 You'll put her to sleep for a fortnight! 953 01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,600 Oh, Matron, don't push it round the plate. 954 01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:49,240 Down the red lane. Chop chop. 955 01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:57,280 Good lad. 956 01:03:59,960 --> 01:04:03,320 Now, then, flower, where's your chip pan? 957 01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:06,560 Remember, Joyce, it's your job to delay the nurse! How we doing? 958 01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:08,680 It's all in there. 959 01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:11,280 ..to delay the nurse. Joyce, you can stop now. 960 01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,120 Joyce, you can stop now. 961 01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:20,280 The cook is going bananas. Where's Matron's supper? 962 01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:23,120 What? No, there's Matron's supper. 963 01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:24,960 I should hurry up if I were you. 964 01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:26,720 Go on. 965 01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:50,880 Heat the oil in a heavy-based pan. Add the onion and garlic. 966 01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:52,920 Whee! 967 01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:57,320 And fry until softened and golden. 968 01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:05,400 INAUDIBLE 969 01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:22,720 Is Cook in there with you? Cook's doing fine. 970 01:05:22,760 --> 01:05:25,480 Oh, aye. She's just coming to the boil. 971 01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:28,360 THEY LAUGH She's starting to spit! 972 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:33,480 Aye! But not in the soup for a change! 973 01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:35,120 Mrs Caldicot? 974 01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:38,800 Is Mrs Caldicot there? 'Yes, Nancy, don't you worry.' 975 01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:44,040 You just set the table and get everybody ready for a big fry up. 976 01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:47,160 You're not allowed fried anything, Mrs Caldicot. 977 01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:49,800 I know. And especially not with wine. 978 01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:52,040 No, not with wine. THEY LAUGH 979 01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:53,760 Wine?! 980 01:05:57,920 --> 01:06:00,960 Matron? Matron? 981 01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:05,920 Oh, my God! 982 01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:17,680 Red or white for you. What is it? 983 01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:19,680 Er...Chateaux... 984 01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:21,240 Chateaux? My favourite. 985 01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,680 I'll have white, please. Oh. 986 01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:25,520 Mind, now. Hot plates. 987 01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:28,480 Oh! Look at that. Who's paying for this? 988 01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:31,480 You are. You're doing the washing up. 989 01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:35,240 This reminds me of a lorry driver I used to see. 990 01:06:35,280 --> 01:06:39,040 Whenever he asked me out to dinner, this is what he meant. 991 01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:41,440 But it was always welcome. 992 01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:44,040 A large man. 993 01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:46,240 Big hands. 994 01:06:46,280 --> 01:06:48,400 Big everything, as far as I recall. 995 01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:51,440 Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a toast. 996 01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:54,320 To Edith. 997 01:06:54,360 --> 01:06:56,080 ALL: Edith! 998 01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:59,280 Wherever you are. ALL: Wherever you are. 999 01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:04,440 And also, just on a personal note, to Gina, wherever she is. Gina! 1000 01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:07,200 ALL: Gina! Cheers. 1001 01:07:07,240 --> 01:07:09,720 And you've all got to clink glasses or it's bad luck. 1002 01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:16,040 Bernard? 1003 01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:18,320 How about some music? Eh? 1004 01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:21,600 Yeah, come on. Let's get a crowbar to that organ. 1005 01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:23,880 Good idea. Good idea. 1006 01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:32,240 # We'll gather lilacs in the spring again 1007 01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:39,000 # And walk together down an English lane 1008 01:07:39,040 --> 01:07:46,480 # Until our hearts have learned to sing again 1009 01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:53,120 # When you come home once more 1010 01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:59,480 # And in the evening by the firelight's glow 1011 01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:02,040 # You'll hold me close 1012 01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:07,520 # And never let me go 1013 01:08:07,560 --> 01:08:10,880 # Your eyes will tell me 1014 01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:18,360 # All I want to know 1015 01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:24,120 # When you come home 1016 01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:27,200 # Once 1017 01:08:27,240 --> 01:08:33,440 # More. # 1018 01:08:33,480 --> 01:08:36,240 APPLAUSE 1019 01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:48,640 ORGAN MUSIC 1020 01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:21,960 MUSIC FADES 1021 01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,760 Uh-oh. Bandit at nine o'clock. 1022 01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:35,920 Clear this drink away. 1023 01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:41,400 Where's Matron? 1024 01:09:41,440 --> 01:09:44,560 Lost your tongues, have you? 1025 01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:46,240 Whose idea was this? 1026 01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:50,120 It's Edith's wake. We felt she needed a good send off. 1027 01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:52,520 Who says so? I do. LES: So do I. 1028 01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:55,000 So do I. And me. So do I. 1029 01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:57,520 MAN: Same here. It's all right, folks. 1030 01:09:57,560 --> 01:09:59,280 I take full responsibility. 1031 01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:02,800 I felt it was something you would have organised, had you been here. 1032 01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:04,560 Don't be clever with me. 1033 01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:07,080 I want you out of this place first thing in the morning. 1034 01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:09,640 You can't do that. If she goes, so do I. 1035 01:10:09,680 --> 01:10:12,840 Oh, you can't, Bernard. 1036 01:10:12,880 --> 01:10:16,880 You've got nowhere to go. And this miserable bugger knows it. 1037 01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:18,800 Before breakfast, Mrs Caldicot. 1038 01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:21,640 Just a minute. 1039 01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:24,720 Oh, I am leaving, because I don't belong here. 1040 01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:26,600 In fact, none of us belongs here 1041 01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:29,720 in your second-rate, overpriced knacker's yard. 1042 01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:31,760 And we don't need you or our relatives 1043 01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:34,080 to tell us when we're ready for the scrapheap. 1044 01:10:34,120 --> 01:10:39,200 We'll decide that. Do you know, I spent 40 years of my life 1045 01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:43,960 under the boot of a mean-spirited tyrant just like you. 1046 01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:46,720 And I'm not going to let it happen again. 1047 01:10:48,360 --> 01:10:52,760 Goodnight, folks. ALL: Goodnight. Thank you. 1048 01:10:52,800 --> 01:10:54,720 Goodnight to you. 1049 01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,640 But you can't go! You mustn't go! 1050 01:10:57,680 --> 01:11:00,440 I've got to leave, Audrey. But you can't go! You mustn't go! 1051 01:11:00,480 --> 01:11:02,800 Come on, Joyce, you sit and watch the television. 1052 01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:05,040 There we are. 1053 01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:09,160 But you're my friend. What on Earth will I do without you? 1054 01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:12,760 MIMICKING TV: Add two spoonfuls of olive oil and a splash of vinegar. 1055 01:11:12,800 --> 01:11:16,360 Why is it, whenever I find a friend, they disappear? 1056 01:11:16,400 --> 01:11:18,720 I won't disappear, I promise you. 1057 01:11:18,760 --> 01:11:20,800 It's happened all my life. 1058 01:11:20,840 --> 01:11:27,480 They either go abroad or get too busy or die on me like he did. 1059 01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:30,040 Let's see what Amanda's got for us this week. 1060 01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:32,440 Everyone's happier since you came here. 1061 01:11:32,480 --> 01:11:35,040 But we'll see each other again in the holidays. 1062 01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:38,000 MUSIC PLAYS ON TV What? Are we going on holiday? 1063 01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:39,960 No, no. I'm a pole dancer. 1064 01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:41,960 Look, that's a better one there. 1065 01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:45,440 You won't come back. I will. I promise I'll come back. 1066 01:11:45,480 --> 01:11:49,160 SHE MIMICS TV God! 1067 01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:52,760 Have you seen my suitcase? You can't come with me, Audrey! 1068 01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:55,760 I'm sorry. EMOTIVE VIOLIN MUSIC ON TV 1069 01:11:55,800 --> 01:11:58,360 It's very sad. SHE CRIES 1070 01:12:07,800 --> 01:12:09,520 Oh! 1071 01:12:09,560 --> 01:12:12,120 ALARM SOUNDS 1072 01:12:14,680 --> 01:12:16,320 ALARM STOPS 1073 01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:19,320 So, you can't even leave without creating a fuss. 1074 01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:22,040 Could you open the door, please? I want to go. Me, too. 1075 01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:25,160 I'm going with her. Me, too. I'm going with her. 1076 01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:27,800 MAN: Mrs Caldicot's leaving! We're all leaving. 1077 01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:30,480 We're all leaving. If Thelma's going, I'm going, too. 1078 01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:34,000 Yeah, well, don't leave without me. You see what you've started? 1079 01:12:34,040 --> 01:12:37,080 You can't come with me, Audrey - not dressed like that. 1080 01:12:37,120 --> 01:12:40,960 I've got a coat. She says I can go with her if I put my coat on. 1081 01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:43,920 She says I can go with her if I put my coat on. 1082 01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:47,000 Listen, everyone, I've no idea where I'm going! 1083 01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:51,000 You'll be responsible if anything happens to any of these people! 1084 01:12:53,560 --> 01:12:56,640 Ooh, thank you very much, Mr Hawksmoor. 1085 01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:59,440 This is the first decent thing you've done since I got here. 1086 01:12:59,480 --> 01:13:01,560 Excuse me. She said I can go, too. 1087 01:13:01,600 --> 01:13:03,360 She says I can go with her. 1088 01:13:03,400 --> 01:13:06,080 Excuse me! Matron! 1089 01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:08,200 Matron, what the hell is going on here?! 1090 01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:10,120 I don't know. It's Mrs Caldicot! 1091 01:13:10,160 --> 01:13:13,000 LES: That'll tell him, won't it? 1092 01:13:13,040 --> 01:13:14,520 HAWKSMOOR: Mrs Caldicot! 1093 01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:17,040 Oh, yes, I'll give you five minutes 1094 01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:19,480 before you're desperate to come back. 1095 01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:23,760 And then it'll be too late because I'm letting your rooms as of now! 1096 01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:25,600 MAN: Oh, get lost! 1097 01:13:25,640 --> 01:13:28,320 Yes, and you can clear off as well and join the rest of them! 1098 01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:30,720 Thelma, wait for us! 1099 01:13:32,320 --> 01:13:35,120 There's a bus coming. The school bus. 1100 01:13:35,160 --> 01:13:37,560 Look, the school bus. You stay here. Don't move. 1101 01:13:37,600 --> 01:13:39,440 Hey, don't do that! 1102 01:13:39,480 --> 01:13:41,120 Mind! 1103 01:13:41,160 --> 01:13:44,640 TYRES SCREECH Come on, let's get on board. 1104 01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:47,680 Hey, are you mad? Can't you read? This is a school bus. 1105 01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:50,240 Yeah, well, we're a group of mature students. 1106 01:13:50,280 --> 01:13:54,120 Are you going anywhere near the Old Manor Park Hotel? 1107 01:13:54,160 --> 01:13:56,480 Oi! Come on, Joyce. Ignore him. 1108 01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,200 Get onto the bus. Come on. 1109 01:13:58,240 --> 01:14:00,440 Come on, guys. Load up. DRIVER: You can't do this! 1110 01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:02,640 JOYCE: You can't do this. Oh, God! 1111 01:14:07,120 --> 01:14:09,160 Careful. 1112 01:14:09,200 --> 01:14:11,120 Ooh. 1113 01:14:15,760 --> 01:14:18,040 Ooh, very nice. 1114 01:14:18,080 --> 01:14:19,600 It is. 1115 01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:24,680 Oh! 1116 01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:26,800 You can see the nice fire. 1117 01:14:26,840 --> 01:14:29,360 JOYCE: Nice fire. 1118 01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:32,640 Now, everybody sit over there and wait for me. 1119 01:14:32,680 --> 01:14:36,360 Now, everybody sit over there and wait for me. 1120 01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:38,600 She can be quite useful at times. 1121 01:14:41,440 --> 01:14:44,280 Good morning. 1122 01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:45,720 May I help you, madam? 1123 01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:48,680 Yes, we'd like some rooms, please. We'd like some rooms, please. 1124 01:14:48,720 --> 01:14:51,560 How many rooms, madam? One each. 1125 01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:53,800 Er...12. 12. 1126 01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:55,920 May I ask madam how she wishes to pay? 1127 01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:59,160 Yes, my son will deal with that. My son will deal with that. 1128 01:14:59,200 --> 01:15:02,120 Is that one son or two, madam? 1129 01:15:08,920 --> 01:15:11,800 PHONE RINGS Oh, sorry. Caldicot. 1130 01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:14,920 Thank you. CLERK: Mr Caldicot. 1131 01:15:14,960 --> 01:15:18,120 Hello, Derek. What's happened now? 1132 01:15:18,160 --> 01:15:20,680 I'm at the Old Manor Park Hotel. 1133 01:15:21,960 --> 01:15:25,240 You walked out? Mother, you promised me. 1134 01:15:25,280 --> 01:15:28,480 Well, what else could I do? 'All right, all right.' 1135 01:15:28,520 --> 01:15:29,960 Well, it's probably for the best, 1136 01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:32,560 considering the trouble you've caused me. 1137 01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:35,880 Well, just put him on to me. 'All right.' 1138 01:15:37,640 --> 01:15:39,520 I'm sorry to trouble you, Mr Caldicot. 1139 01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:42,240 Your mother has arrived with no means of paying her account. 1140 01:15:42,280 --> 01:15:45,960 Yeah, that's fine. Just bill me and I'll settle it all later. 1141 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,280 Thank you, Mr Caldicot. 1142 01:15:48,320 --> 01:15:51,880 Now, how are the others going to settle their accounts? 1143 01:15:51,920 --> 01:15:54,400 Oh, you'd better put those on my bill. 1144 01:15:54,440 --> 01:15:57,960 Fine. Would everyone like to sign their names and addresses, please? 1145 01:15:58,000 --> 01:16:00,480 It's all the same address. 1146 01:16:00,520 --> 01:16:04,040 All of them? We've escaped from a rest home. 1147 01:16:08,760 --> 01:16:12,200 Yes, Mr Jenkins. Look after my locker key, will you? 1148 01:16:13,280 --> 01:16:17,360 Break out from an old folks home? That's quite a story. 1149 01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:19,240 Yes, I suppose so. 1150 01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:27,680 Who was that? It's Mr Jenkins, madam. 1151 01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:30,960 Oh. And what does he do? 1152 01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:33,600 Director of the Globe newspaper group. 1153 01:16:36,480 --> 01:16:38,360 Right behind you, darling. 1154 01:16:40,320 --> 01:16:43,520 Have I got my own telly? Oh, yes. Everyone will have. 1155 01:16:43,560 --> 01:16:45,600 Marvellous! This way. 1156 01:16:45,640 --> 01:16:48,640 Audrey? Yes? You're in here. 1157 01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:52,840 Jackie Jones? I have a story which may interest you. 1158 01:16:52,880 --> 01:16:54,520 How soon can you get here? 1159 01:16:57,520 --> 01:16:59,920 Bloody Nora! 1160 01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:02,400 Bloody Nora! Look! 1161 01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:09,480 It's beautiful. 1162 01:17:09,520 --> 01:17:12,840 It's beautiful. Mmm, delicious! 1163 01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:18,720 Audrey? Mm? 1164 01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:22,840 Madam, your bath robe and slippers. 1165 01:17:22,880 --> 01:17:24,680 Your bath robe and slippers. 1166 01:17:24,720 --> 01:17:26,280 Heaven. Heaven. 1167 01:17:26,320 --> 01:17:28,960 Come on, Joyce, I'll show you your room. 1168 01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:32,680 Thelma! Who's paying for all this? 1169 01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:35,960 Oh, don't worry about it, Bernard. You just enjoy yourself. 1170 01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:38,360 Yeah, well, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to sleep 1171 01:17:38,400 --> 01:17:40,160 without hearing him snoring. 1172 01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:42,520 I'm only next door, Hewitt - it should travel. 1173 01:17:42,560 --> 01:17:44,000 Oh, aye, that's true. 1174 01:17:44,040 --> 01:17:46,080 PHONE RINGS I'll go. 1175 01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:48,040 MAN: Look, Thelma! Look what we've got. 1176 01:17:52,440 --> 01:17:55,080 Come on. We'll go. Thelma! 1177 01:17:55,120 --> 01:17:59,920 Thelma! There's a woman downstairs waiting for you in reception 1178 01:17:59,960 --> 01:18:02,000 with a television cameraman. 1179 01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:03,760 Oh. 1180 01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:19,160 Mrs Caldicot? Yes. 1181 01:18:19,200 --> 01:18:21,440 Jackie Jones, TV South News. 1182 01:18:21,480 --> 01:18:24,920 Do you think you could come and talk to our viewers? 1183 01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:27,920 I-I don't know. I've never done anything like that before. 1184 01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:30,200 The publicity can only help your cause. 1185 01:18:30,240 --> 01:18:31,760 Righto. Why not? 1186 01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:33,640 Great. 1187 01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:36,000 We'd like to know about you and your friends - 1188 01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:38,480 where you've come from and what you plan to do next. 1189 01:18:38,520 --> 01:18:40,400 I've no idea. MAN: We're running. 1190 01:18:40,440 --> 01:18:42,520 OK, we're on. 1191 01:18:42,560 --> 01:18:45,960 Mrs Caldicot, you arrived at the Old Manor Park Hotel today 1192 01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:48,200 at the head of a demonstration. Where did you come from? 1193 01:18:48,240 --> 01:18:50,680 Well, it wasn't really a demonstration. 1194 01:18:50,720 --> 01:18:53,400 And we all came from the Twilight Years rest home. 1195 01:18:53,440 --> 01:18:57,120 And you left there as a protest? No, it wasn't a protest... 1196 01:18:57,160 --> 01:19:00,520 PHONE RINGS ..more of a mass escape. 1197 01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:02,760 So why did you feel you had to escape? 1198 01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:05,760 It all really started with the food being so disgusting 1199 01:19:05,800 --> 01:19:09,200 and the whole place smelt of cabbage. 1200 01:19:09,240 --> 01:19:12,160 And one day, I erm...refused to eat it. 1201 01:19:12,200 --> 01:19:14,800 So this is a war about cabbage you're fighting? 1202 01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:18,640 Also it's about it being an unpleasant, uncaring sort of place. 1203 01:19:18,680 --> 01:19:21,960 The car will be here at what? 6.00 on the dot? 1204 01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:23,560 Fine. I'll make sure she's ready. 1205 01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:25,360 Just one second, sir. 1206 01:19:25,400 --> 01:19:27,560 Sir, it's for you. It's head office. 1207 01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:29,320 Got to go. 1208 01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:31,520 Nick Reid Show? ITV? Who is it? 1209 01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:34,080 JB. JB? Yes. 1210 01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:39,920 Yes, sir? Who told South East news?! 1211 01:19:39,960 --> 01:19:42,160 I thought it would be good publicity, sir - 1212 01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:44,400 a haven of rest for a stricken people. 1213 01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:47,600 Don't you know the Twilight Years rest home is owned by us? 1214 01:19:47,640 --> 01:19:50,440 My God! Let them stay the night, then send them packing. 1215 01:19:50,480 --> 01:19:52,400 And get this woman off my screen! 1216 01:19:52,440 --> 01:19:55,720 Yes, sir. Though I should perhaps mention... 1217 01:19:55,760 --> 01:19:57,400 'What?' 1218 01:19:57,440 --> 01:20:00,160 She's on again tonight. Then get her off! 1219 01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:09,280 SHE GASPS 1220 01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:12,160 Audrey! Isn't it wonderful? 1221 01:20:12,200 --> 01:20:17,400 I just pick up the phone, tell them what I want and - poof - magic. 1222 01:20:17,440 --> 01:20:20,600 I know, my love, but there is the cost. 1223 01:20:20,640 --> 01:20:23,240 No, it doesn't cost a thing. 1224 01:20:23,280 --> 01:20:26,320 All they want is my autograph. 1225 01:20:26,360 --> 01:20:28,280 Am I famous? 1226 01:20:28,320 --> 01:20:31,400 Not yet. But you soon might be. 1227 01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:34,560 Thank you very much for bringing me here, Thelma. 1228 01:20:34,600 --> 01:20:36,440 It's so nice to feel happy. 1229 01:20:36,480 --> 01:20:39,080 THUDDING UPSTAIRS 1230 01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:43,440 Thelma, come quick. Joyce is watching Tom and Jerry. Oh, God. 1231 01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:48,120 JB. Everything all right? 1232 01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:52,240 Not exactly. Any idea where your mother is, by any chance? Yes. 1233 01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:54,720 Good news on that. She's moved out of Twilight Years 1234 01:20:54,760 --> 01:20:57,520 and moved into the Old Manor Park Hotel. I know. 1235 01:20:57,560 --> 01:20:59,920 Together with 11 other crusties. What? 1236 01:20:59,960 --> 01:21:01,920 She's been on the bloody local news 1237 01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:04,040 saying how they've escaped a life of tyranny 1238 01:21:04,080 --> 01:21:06,360 and overcooked cabbage. On television? 1239 01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:08,080 And tonight she's going nationwide. 1240 01:21:08,120 --> 01:21:11,360 Sort it out or I'm gonna have your arse for a plate rack! 1241 01:21:14,640 --> 01:21:18,920 PEOPLE TALKING OVER EACH OTHER You've no idea what might happen. 1242 01:21:18,960 --> 01:21:21,640 I think it'll be very interesting and I want to try it. 1243 01:21:21,680 --> 01:21:24,080 It could be a terrible mistake, Mrs Caldicot. 1244 01:21:24,120 --> 01:21:27,720 MAN: Look over here, please, madam. Just over here. Thank you very much. 1245 01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:38,280 PIANO PLAYS 1246 01:21:38,320 --> 01:21:41,840 # Come, come Come and make eyes at me 1247 01:21:41,880 --> 01:21:45,320 # Down at the Old Bull and Bush Da da da da da 1248 01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:49,080 # Come, come Drink some more wine with me 1249 01:21:49,120 --> 01:21:52,600 # Down at the Old Bull and Bush 1250 01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:56,400 # Hear the little German band # Da da da da da da da...# 1251 01:21:56,440 --> 01:21:59,520 Excuse me! Excuse me! Are you the manager? Yes, sir. 1252 01:21:59,560 --> 01:22:01,680 I want to speak to Mrs Caldicot. Join the queue. 1253 01:22:01,720 --> 01:22:04,160 No, no, no. I'm her son. Ah, Mr Caldicot. 1254 01:22:04,200 --> 01:22:07,080 I'm sorry, but your mother's left for the television studio. 1255 01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:09,440 She's on the Nick Reid Show. I tried to stop her. 1256 01:22:09,480 --> 01:22:11,360 Nick Reid show?! I can't believe it! 1257 01:22:11,400 --> 01:22:13,920 Yes, sir, but if you could just hang on a moment! 1258 01:22:13,960 --> 01:22:18,320 Don't know why we bother rehearsing. It's not for my bloody benefit! 1259 01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:21,200 Don't worry, his bark's worse than his bite. 1260 01:22:21,240 --> 01:22:25,080 I'll see if he'll talk to you now. Nick? Nick? 1261 01:22:25,120 --> 01:22:27,120 This is Mrs Caldicot. 1262 01:22:27,160 --> 01:22:30,160 Oh, Mrs Caldicot! Hello. 1263 01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:32,120 She's much smaller than I imagined. 1264 01:22:32,160 --> 01:22:36,560 I saw you on the local news at lunchtime wearing that outfit. 1265 01:22:36,600 --> 01:22:40,200 And I've seen you on there. Is it Mick or Nick? 1266 01:22:40,240 --> 01:22:42,840 We are gonna get on like a house on fire. 1267 01:22:42,880 --> 01:22:44,520 Don't you worry about a thing. 1268 01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:48,080 I'll ask you about the cabbage and you just tell me what happened. 1269 01:22:48,120 --> 01:22:49,920 Righto. 1270 01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:52,880 Outfit is going to have to go. This is prime time. 1271 01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:56,120 Get her into something half decent. 1272 01:22:57,600 --> 01:23:00,040 Why does his wife let him wear that silly wig? 1273 01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:02,280 Shh! The wig is classified information. 1274 01:23:02,320 --> 01:23:04,720 I've seen more convincing hair on a lavatory brush. 1275 01:23:04,760 --> 01:23:06,560 And that's not his wife. Oh. 1276 01:23:06,600 --> 01:23:09,600 Come on, I'd better get you into make-up and wardrobe. 1277 01:23:37,360 --> 01:23:40,400 I just can't believe they've done me up so beautifully. 1278 01:23:40,440 --> 01:23:42,400 You look lovely. Thank you. 1279 01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:45,320 Round to the right here. Right. 1280 01:23:45,360 --> 01:23:48,120 Don't be nervous. I've got a few butterflies. 1281 01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:50,400 NICK: My wife does stand-up and does jokes about me. 1282 01:23:50,440 --> 01:23:52,360 She says when I make love, I'm like the lottery - 1283 01:23:52,400 --> 01:23:54,640 bit of excitement, balls drop, rollover. 1284 01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:56,400 LAUGHTER 1285 01:23:56,440 --> 01:23:58,160 APPLAUSE 1286 01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:04,440 Mother. 1287 01:24:05,600 --> 01:24:07,920 Mother! Oh, hello, Derek. 1288 01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,440 Who are they? That's my son. What do you want? 1289 01:24:10,480 --> 01:24:12,480 Think of my career! 1290 01:24:12,520 --> 01:24:14,400 We're on air in ten seconds. 1291 01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:16,000 Think of your family! 1292 01:24:16,040 --> 01:24:17,960 Shh! Get them back in their seats! 1293 01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:20,920 MC: Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Reid! 1294 01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:24,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1295 01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:26,000 Hello. Hello. 1296 01:24:30,000 --> 01:24:33,720 My first guest tonight is a housewife. 1297 01:24:33,760 --> 01:24:36,200 But she's no ordinary housewife. 1298 01:24:36,240 --> 01:24:38,800 She hit the headlines earlier this morning 1299 01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:42,080 when she led a mass escape from an old people's home. 1300 01:24:42,120 --> 01:24:43,600 LAUGHTER 1301 01:24:43,640 --> 01:24:48,440 So, ladies and gentlemen, here's the leader of the wrinklies revolution. 1302 01:24:48,480 --> 01:24:51,400 Please welcome Thelma Caldicot! 1303 01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:06,880 Mrs Caldicot, you're in the news 1304 01:25:06,920 --> 01:25:10,640 because you led a walk out at the Twilight Years rest home. 1305 01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:13,360 That's right. Now, it's being said 1306 01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:17,800 that you led the walk out because you couldn't stand cabbage. 1307 01:25:17,840 --> 01:25:19,800 That's rather extreme, isn't it? 1308 01:25:19,840 --> 01:25:22,560 Well, it's true that I didn't want to eat any more cabbage, 1309 01:25:22,600 --> 01:25:25,040 but that's not why I left. Tell us why, then. 1310 01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:29,280 Well, I-I left because it was a place that was run with minimum care 1311 01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:32,320 for maximum profit by a tinpot little dictator. 1312 01:25:32,360 --> 01:25:37,640 Even so, some people are saying that you're just an attention seeker. 1313 01:25:37,680 --> 01:25:39,480 Why on Earth would anyone say that? 1314 01:25:39,520 --> 01:25:41,640 Because that's what children do, isn't it? 1315 01:25:41,680 --> 01:25:45,800 They throw a tantrum when faced with food they don't want to eat. 1316 01:25:45,840 --> 01:25:48,880 I'm not looking for attention at all. Oh, come on. 1317 01:25:48,920 --> 01:25:51,800 You're on national television. Only because you asked me. 1318 01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:54,840 There's a film on the other side. I'd much rather be watching that. 1319 01:25:54,880 --> 01:25:58,320 Good for you, Thelma! Well, switch over, then! 1320 01:25:58,360 --> 01:26:00,400 Let's see it. Don't you dare! 1321 01:26:00,440 --> 01:26:04,400 TV: Do you think your actions will lead to revolution 1322 01:26:04,440 --> 01:26:06,320 among our senior citizens? 1323 01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:10,240 I don't know. You don't know? 1324 01:26:10,280 --> 01:26:13,000 That's not very responsible, is it? LAUGHTER 1325 01:26:16,840 --> 01:26:20,800 Sometimes life isn't about knowing the answers. 1326 01:26:20,840 --> 01:26:22,840 It's about knowing the right questions to ask. 1327 01:26:22,880 --> 01:26:24,520 Well, let's swap seats, then. 1328 01:26:24,560 --> 01:26:27,120 You tell me what the right questions are. 1329 01:26:27,160 --> 01:26:29,960 For a start, instead of making cheap jibes at me, 1330 01:26:30,000 --> 01:26:33,720 why don't you ask me why we lock up these lovely, decent people 1331 01:26:33,760 --> 01:26:36,920 just because they're getting old? Oh, no, sorry, 'past it'. 1332 01:26:36,960 --> 01:26:39,960 What on Earth does that mean? Past what? 1333 01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:41,480 And the answer is... 1334 01:26:41,520 --> 01:26:45,960 I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it's because we're selfish. 1335 01:26:46,000 --> 01:26:49,280 Why is it that we rob them of their dignity 1336 01:26:49,320 --> 01:26:52,760 and stuff a load of tranquillisers down their throats 1337 01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:56,000 instead of offering them our help and our care 1338 01:26:56,040 --> 01:26:59,840 and, most of all, our time? You tell us. 1339 01:26:59,880 --> 01:27:05,640 And why is it that the very sight of them repulses us, 1340 01:27:05,680 --> 01:27:09,640 the older and more feeble they get? We've all done it, haven't we? 1341 01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:13,920 'Oh, don't let me get like that. If I get like that, shoot me.' 1342 01:27:15,440 --> 01:27:17,360 Maybe it's just fear. 1343 01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:20,520 And no, I don't know what the answer is. 1344 01:27:20,560 --> 01:27:24,480 But I do know that these are the questions we should be asking. 1345 01:27:27,840 --> 01:27:29,560 All of us. 1346 01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:33,640 Well, that's very enlightening, isn't it? 1347 01:27:33,680 --> 01:27:35,800 Are there any more questions you want to ask 1348 01:27:35,840 --> 01:27:38,680 before I let tonight's star guest get a word in edgeways? 1349 01:27:38,720 --> 01:27:40,520 Yeah, just one. Hm? 1350 01:27:40,560 --> 01:27:42,320 Why do you wear that daft wig? 1351 01:27:42,360 --> 01:27:45,360 LAUGHTER 1352 01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:50,160 Aye, good for you, Thelma! 1353 01:27:59,840 --> 01:28:01,840 But what shall I do with my lovely outfit? 1354 01:28:01,880 --> 01:28:04,040 Keep it. That's the least of their worries. 1355 01:28:04,080 --> 01:28:05,600 Will there be a car to take me home? 1356 01:28:05,640 --> 01:28:08,040 I'm sorry, Nick's vetoed any more hospitality. 1357 01:28:08,080 --> 01:28:10,240 Take a taxi and send us a bill. 1358 01:28:20,240 --> 01:28:23,040 Very nice performance. 1359 01:28:23,080 --> 01:28:24,680 Thank you. 1360 01:28:24,720 --> 01:28:27,200 Do I know you? Phillip Jenkins. 1361 01:28:27,240 --> 01:28:29,440 I was at the hotel when you were checking in. 1362 01:28:29,480 --> 01:28:31,560 Oh, yes. 1363 01:28:31,600 --> 01:28:33,960 May I give you a lift? 1364 01:28:34,000 --> 01:28:37,880 That's be lovely, but is there another way out of here? 1365 01:28:37,920 --> 01:28:39,160 Ah. 1366 01:28:39,200 --> 01:28:41,200 You're looking lovely, by the way. 1367 01:28:41,240 --> 01:28:43,280 Thank you. 1368 01:28:43,880 --> 01:28:45,640 Who were you avoiding? 1369 01:28:45,680 --> 01:28:48,320 Oh, my son and daughter-in-law. 1370 01:28:48,360 --> 01:28:50,960 I think they're a bit cross with me. Why? 1371 01:28:51,000 --> 01:28:53,400 Well, they were the ones that put me into the rest home 1372 01:28:53,440 --> 01:28:57,720 in the first place and they want me to go back in. I see. 1373 01:28:57,760 --> 01:29:03,480 Derek, my son, he's a director of the property company that owns it. 1374 01:29:03,520 --> 01:29:07,840 By God, you let them off the hook tonight. This is a big story. 1375 01:29:07,880 --> 01:29:11,360 Ah. Can't turn against your own flesh and blood, 1376 01:29:11,400 --> 01:29:13,400 no matter what they've done. 1377 01:29:14,680 --> 01:29:18,680 I suppose you'll write about it, won't you? You are a journalist. 1378 01:29:18,720 --> 01:29:21,720 Sort of. But I'm not a hack. What do you mean? 1379 01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:24,480 I wouldn't print anything you didn't approve of. 1380 01:29:24,520 --> 01:29:26,480 Hmm. 1381 01:29:26,520 --> 01:29:29,080 I'm afraid my trust in people 1382 01:29:29,120 --> 01:29:31,320 is a bit frayed round the edges at the moment. 1383 01:29:34,440 --> 01:29:37,040 I'll just have to take my time, then. 1384 01:29:44,520 --> 01:29:47,800 Would you like a nightcap? Oh, OK. 1385 01:29:47,840 --> 01:29:50,200 I'll find the barman. Right. 1386 01:29:57,320 --> 01:29:59,600 Mrs Caldicot, I'm glad I caught you. 1387 01:29:59,640 --> 01:30:01,680 Yes? It's your booking. 1388 01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:04,760 I'm afraid we have no spare rooms after tonight. 1389 01:30:04,800 --> 01:30:06,920 I see. 1390 01:30:06,960 --> 01:30:09,960 Orders from above? No, no. A prior arrangement. 1391 01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:13,080 A company booking. 1392 01:30:13,120 --> 01:30:15,000 Prove it. 1393 01:30:15,040 --> 01:30:18,280 I'm sorry? Show me the booking. 1394 01:30:18,320 --> 01:30:22,400 Madam, I don't have to prove anything. 1395 01:30:22,440 --> 01:30:24,200 Now, listen. 1396 01:30:24,240 --> 01:30:26,320 I led a walk out earlier on today 1397 01:30:26,360 --> 01:30:28,640 and tomorrow, unless you change your attitude, 1398 01:30:28,680 --> 01:30:32,080 I shall be organising a lie in. Mrs Caldicot, please. 1399 01:30:32,120 --> 01:30:34,880 What's going on? He wants to throw us all out. 1400 01:30:36,360 --> 01:30:38,360 Is this true? Please, sir. 1401 01:30:38,400 --> 01:30:42,360 You are a much valued customer here, but with the greatest respect, 1402 01:30:42,400 --> 01:30:45,120 this is not your business. 1403 01:30:45,160 --> 01:30:46,960 With the greatest respect, it is. 1404 01:30:47,000 --> 01:30:51,640 Mrs Caldicot has agreed to tell her story exclusively for the Globe. 1405 01:30:55,480 --> 01:30:58,280 SHE SIGHS 1406 01:30:58,320 --> 01:30:59,840 I need some fresh air. 1407 01:31:01,920 --> 01:31:04,120 Great long streak of misery. 1408 01:31:07,320 --> 01:31:11,080 Thank you for that. I didn't relish another confrontation. 1409 01:31:11,120 --> 01:31:14,080 You surprise me. You're getting rather good at confrontation. 1410 01:31:14,120 --> 01:31:19,000 I know. And a few days ago, I wouldn't have said boo to a goose. 1411 01:31:19,040 --> 01:31:24,200 I meant what I said about the Globe. My story? One--day wonder. 1412 01:31:24,240 --> 01:31:26,960 Right now, you're front page news, Thelma. 1413 01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:31,480 It'd finish Derek and Veronica. I couldn't take that responsibility. 1414 01:31:31,520 --> 01:31:33,800 Well, that's tough, I know, but from what I've seen, 1415 01:31:33,840 --> 01:31:37,520 you've inherited and even bigger responsibility in there. I know. 1416 01:31:37,560 --> 01:31:39,920 Well, we can't stay here much longer. No. 1417 01:31:39,960 --> 01:31:44,600 I want to find them a place where they can all be together, you know. 1418 01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:48,760 I'm not letting them go back there. Look, let's put our heads together. 1419 01:31:48,800 --> 01:31:51,640 Not tonight. We'll have lunch tomorrow and talk it all over. 1420 01:31:51,680 --> 01:31:54,960 Ooh, I'd like that. My pleasure. Thank you very much. 1421 01:31:55,000 --> 01:31:57,760 I'll call you in the morning. Right. Goodnight. 1422 01:31:59,600 --> 01:32:01,320 Goodnight. 1423 01:32:28,160 --> 01:32:29,960 Don't roll over, Thelma. 1424 01:32:35,640 --> 01:32:37,640 'Very nice performance.' 1425 01:32:44,680 --> 01:32:46,560 'You're looking lovely, by the way.' 1426 01:33:04,600 --> 01:33:06,600 Not bad, Thelma. 1427 01:33:21,680 --> 01:33:23,600 No, you can't. 1428 01:33:26,960 --> 01:33:29,640 Yes, you can, Thelma. 1429 01:33:29,680 --> 01:33:31,120 You can do anything you like. 1430 01:33:41,200 --> 01:33:45,400 Only one thing missing from this - a bell. A bell. 1431 01:33:49,040 --> 01:33:53,880 Why isn't our beautiful, illustrious leader here enjoying herself? 1432 01:33:53,920 --> 01:33:55,480 Too busy, Hewitt. 1433 01:33:55,520 --> 01:33:57,680 My bike had a very loud bell. 1434 01:33:57,720 --> 01:34:00,920 I saw the chap whisking her away. 1435 01:34:00,960 --> 01:34:03,240 Suppose someone stepped out in front of us. 1436 01:34:06,320 --> 01:34:09,280 Thought I spotted a bit of hand kissing. 1437 01:34:09,320 --> 01:34:10,600 Aye-aye-aye-aye! 1438 01:34:19,760 --> 01:34:22,240 Knocked it down? For a housing development. 1439 01:34:24,000 --> 01:34:25,720 I don't believe it. 1440 01:34:25,760 --> 01:34:30,400 You'd better. Mr Derek Caldicot stands to make a small fortune. 1441 01:34:30,440 --> 01:34:32,440 And he never told you? No. 1442 01:34:34,600 --> 01:34:38,520 That was the only decent thing he did for me in 40 years of marriage - 1443 01:34:38,560 --> 01:34:40,640 to leave me with a roof over my head. 1444 01:34:40,680 --> 01:34:44,280 And now my son's... taken it away from me. 1445 01:34:51,040 --> 01:34:53,920 Out again? 'I'm afraid so, sir.' 1446 01:34:53,960 --> 01:34:56,400 I'm sorry, I don't believe you. 'Well, I've got... 1447 01:34:56,440 --> 01:34:59,440 Put me through to the manager! It's Mr Caldicot. 1448 01:35:01,360 --> 01:35:05,080 Ah, Caldicot. Mr Caldicot, I'm so glad you called. 1449 01:35:05,120 --> 01:35:07,400 Are you blocking my calls to my mother's room?! 1450 01:35:07,440 --> 01:35:09,760 No, certainly not. 'I'm sending a car for her.' 1451 01:35:09,800 --> 01:35:12,280 'Get her bags packed!' She was picked up an hour ago, sir. 1452 01:35:12,320 --> 01:35:15,560 Picked up? Who by? A director of the Globe newspaper. 1453 01:35:15,600 --> 01:35:19,240 If you could just wait a moment, I'd like to discuss Mrs Caldicot's bill. 1454 01:35:20,880 --> 01:35:23,480 Hello. Er... Hello? 1455 01:35:23,520 --> 01:35:26,360 'Hello? Hello?!' 1456 01:35:26,400 --> 01:35:28,480 Thanks, Bob. OK, bye. Thanks, Bob. 1457 01:35:28,520 --> 01:35:30,160 Bye-bye. 1458 01:35:34,200 --> 01:35:36,040 That wasn't easy. 1459 01:35:36,080 --> 01:35:39,880 But you feel better? Yeah, you're damn right I do. 1460 01:35:39,920 --> 01:35:42,720 Thelma, you said nothing you need be ashamed of. 1461 01:35:42,760 --> 01:35:44,920 Be a few ugly faces tomorrow, though. 1462 01:35:44,960 --> 01:35:48,120 About time, too. Relax. You were very good. 1463 01:35:58,760 --> 01:36:02,520 I haven't had many times like this, you know. What? 1464 01:36:02,560 --> 01:36:05,680 Good company, nice places. 1465 01:36:08,800 --> 01:36:12,960 It wasn't until my husband died that I realised that... 1466 01:36:13,000 --> 01:36:15,880 ..he hadn't shared any of those things with me. 1467 01:36:18,160 --> 01:36:21,040 Are you married? Was. It ended ten years ago. 1468 01:36:21,080 --> 01:36:23,240 Sorry, I...didn't mean to be nosy. 1469 01:36:23,280 --> 01:36:26,280 Not at all. I'd want you to know. 1470 01:36:26,320 --> 01:36:28,200 Why? 1471 01:36:28,240 --> 01:36:30,920 Because... 1472 01:36:30,960 --> 01:36:33,000 ..I hope we're gonna keep in close touch. 1473 01:36:34,720 --> 01:36:36,560 Good. 1474 01:36:36,600 --> 01:36:38,720 Good. 1475 01:36:38,760 --> 01:36:41,920 Now, the problem of your displaced seniors. 1476 01:36:41,960 --> 01:36:44,920 Yeah. Where are we gonna get them in quickly? 1477 01:36:44,960 --> 01:36:47,160 I thought your son and his boss 1478 01:36:47,200 --> 01:36:50,800 could work that one out... tomorrow morning. 1479 01:36:50,840 --> 01:36:52,840 I don't follow. 1480 01:36:52,880 --> 01:36:55,480 The Globe rings Derek's boss for a quote. 1481 01:36:55,520 --> 01:36:58,840 He blows a fuse and calls an emergency board meeting tomorrow. 1482 01:36:58,880 --> 01:37:01,360 But on a Sunday? Yes. 1483 01:37:01,400 --> 01:37:04,160 And you'll be the surprise guest. 1484 01:37:04,200 --> 01:37:05,880 No doubt you'll explain why. 1485 01:37:05,920 --> 01:37:08,960 No doubt. But first, I think we'd better get your things 1486 01:37:09,000 --> 01:37:12,800 and book you in somewhere tonight. You may have unwelcome visitors. 1487 01:37:12,840 --> 01:37:15,080 KNOCK ON DOOR Just a minute! 1488 01:37:18,480 --> 01:37:21,520 Oh, hello, Derek. Yes, Derek. So you remember me? 1489 01:37:21,560 --> 01:37:24,120 Course I do. Why haven't you returned my calls? 1490 01:37:24,160 --> 01:37:25,840 I've been very busy. Oh, I know. 1491 01:37:25,880 --> 01:37:28,280 Mother, this nonsense has got to stop! 1492 01:37:28,320 --> 01:37:31,120 Get packing! I am. What nonsense has got to stop? 1493 01:37:31,160 --> 01:37:33,960 I mean the public abuse you have showered on your family 1494 01:37:34,000 --> 01:37:35,560 and the company that I had hoped... 1495 01:37:35,600 --> 01:37:37,160 KNOCK ON DOOR Just coming! 1496 01:37:37,200 --> 01:37:39,640 And now what's this about the Sunday Globe? 1497 01:37:39,680 --> 01:37:42,320 Excuse me, madam. I need to talk to Mr Caldicot. 1498 01:37:42,360 --> 01:37:44,080 Not now. I'm afraid it can't wait, sir. 1499 01:37:44,120 --> 01:37:46,040 Well, what is it? The account, sir. 1500 01:37:46,080 --> 01:37:49,840 Well, look, stick it on this. She is checking out. 1501 01:37:49,880 --> 01:37:53,080 I've got to go now, Derek. 12 rooms and sundry items. 1502 01:37:53,120 --> 01:37:55,360 12 rooms? I'll phone you later. 1503 01:37:55,400 --> 01:37:58,720 12 rooms and sundries. 1504 01:38:07,960 --> 01:38:10,600 Oi! I can't get out! 1505 01:38:10,640 --> 01:38:12,560 HE SCREAMS 1506 01:38:19,880 --> 01:38:22,040 THEY CHUCKLE 1507 01:38:28,720 --> 01:38:30,640 Something amusing, is there? 1508 01:38:30,680 --> 01:38:32,440 Hm? 1509 01:38:36,600 --> 01:38:40,920 That's my copy, I think. Mr Hawksmoor, it's JB! 1510 01:38:40,960 --> 01:38:42,760 Tell him I can't come to the phone. 1511 01:38:42,800 --> 01:38:45,240 He isn't on the phone. Just cut him off! 1512 01:38:45,280 --> 01:38:48,520 I can't cut him off! He's here! 1513 01:38:48,560 --> 01:38:50,280 He's here? 1514 01:38:50,320 --> 01:38:53,880 He's just driven into the car park! 1515 01:38:53,920 --> 01:38:56,280 JB: Hawksmoor? Hawksmoor? 1516 01:38:59,440 --> 01:39:01,440 Hawksmoor! 1517 01:39:23,800 --> 01:39:26,080 Nervous? Yep. 1518 01:39:26,120 --> 01:39:27,960 I'm not looking forward to this. 1519 01:39:28,000 --> 01:39:30,400 It's no fun putting your family on the street. 1520 01:39:30,440 --> 01:39:32,320 It's what they did to you. 1521 01:39:32,360 --> 01:39:35,400 I wish you'd come in with me. No, it's your show. 1522 01:39:35,440 --> 01:39:37,640 I'll wait for you out here. Knock 'em dead. 1523 01:39:47,880 --> 01:39:51,240 JB: Well, as you north country people say, 1524 01:39:51,280 --> 01:39:53,400 you've got a brass neck. What's your answer? 1525 01:39:53,440 --> 01:39:57,040 Sorry. I really am sorry. We've been looking for her all over. 1526 01:39:57,080 --> 01:39:59,960 She's been without her medication. Come on, Mum. 1527 01:40:00,000 --> 01:40:02,400 Let me go, Veronica. Good girl. What are you doing? 1528 01:40:02,440 --> 01:40:04,760 She's here to save the Twilight Years rest home, 1529 01:40:04,800 --> 01:40:08,240 and all her wrinkly friends, from the knacker's yard. Oh? 1530 01:40:08,280 --> 01:40:10,440 How? HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 1531 01:40:10,480 --> 01:40:12,280 This should be good. 1532 01:40:12,320 --> 01:40:15,280 Now she's ruined it, she wants to buy it off us. 1533 01:40:15,320 --> 01:40:16,360 Whatever for? 1534 01:40:16,400 --> 01:40:19,760 Properly run, it could be everything that you claimed it to be. 1535 01:40:19,800 --> 01:40:23,640 Well, who's going to run it? You? The asylum run by the patients? 1536 01:40:23,680 --> 01:40:26,400 Where are you going to get the money from? 1537 01:40:26,440 --> 01:40:28,320 From here. 1538 01:40:28,360 --> 01:40:30,360 She wants us to give her the mortgage 1539 01:40:30,400 --> 01:40:34,200 as well as a knocked-down price. Thanks for this, Derek! 1540 01:40:34,240 --> 01:40:37,280 Mother, what are you trying to do? You've been selfish and thoughtless. 1541 01:40:37,320 --> 01:40:40,040 Oh, dear. Perhaps mother should try another course of medication. 1542 01:40:40,080 --> 01:40:42,600 She certainly hasn't got her head on straight. 1543 01:40:42,640 --> 01:40:45,840 Oh, do you mean like I had the day you forced me to sign over my home? 1544 01:40:45,880 --> 01:40:48,120 It wasn't your house! It was mine to live in! 1545 01:40:48,160 --> 01:40:51,440 And systematically wreck? Wreck?! 1546 01:40:51,480 --> 01:40:55,120 Is that why you drugged me and stuffed me in an old people's home? 1547 01:40:55,160 --> 01:40:58,040 It was for your own good, Mother. 1548 01:40:58,080 --> 01:41:00,440 Do you know something, Derek? 1549 01:41:00,480 --> 01:41:02,760 In the end, I suppose it was. 1550 01:41:04,480 --> 01:41:07,000 When I finally came to, 1551 01:41:07,040 --> 01:41:12,480 I realised that I had been... bullied all my life. 1552 01:41:12,520 --> 01:41:17,840 First by your father, then by you and then by her. 1553 01:41:17,880 --> 01:41:21,040 And finally by that mob at the Twilight Years 1554 01:41:21,080 --> 01:41:24,080 who ran the place for nobody's best interest 1555 01:41:24,120 --> 01:41:27,880 expect their own and this property company. 1556 01:41:27,920 --> 01:41:31,440 And now, thanks to you, it's no use to anybody. 1557 01:41:31,480 --> 01:41:33,560 What are your readers gonna say about that? 1558 01:41:33,600 --> 01:41:36,920 Not nearly as much as they'll think when they hear about your project. 1559 01:41:36,960 --> 01:41:40,400 What? What? The development of her old home. 1560 01:41:40,440 --> 01:41:42,600 The Globe flushed out the details. 1561 01:41:42,640 --> 01:41:48,000 And it will be on the front page next week unless... 1562 01:41:48,040 --> 01:41:50,920 Mum? 1563 01:41:50,960 --> 01:41:53,680 That's blackmail. 1564 01:41:53,720 --> 01:41:56,440 I suppose it is. 1565 01:41:56,480 --> 01:42:01,880 Oh, Derek...try to see the funny side. 1566 01:42:01,920 --> 01:42:04,080 Do you know something? 1567 01:42:04,120 --> 01:42:05,960 He never laughed. 1568 01:42:07,240 --> 01:42:09,960 Even as a baby. 1569 01:42:10,000 --> 01:42:12,080 Not even when he was tickled. 1570 01:42:21,760 --> 01:42:24,680 How'd it go? It's in the lap of the gods. 1571 01:42:45,040 --> 01:42:48,000 Well, it-it-it's wonderful! 1572 01:42:48,040 --> 01:42:49,960 Wonderful. 1573 01:42:50,000 --> 01:42:52,160 It's so different. 1574 01:42:52,200 --> 01:42:55,120 Of course it's different - we're in charge now. 1575 01:42:55,160 --> 01:42:56,520 Thelma! 1576 01:42:58,240 --> 01:43:00,520 Hello, my darling. 1577 01:43:00,560 --> 01:43:02,440 And Gina's the matron now. 1578 01:43:02,480 --> 01:43:05,000 Gina! 1579 01:43:05,040 --> 01:43:07,160 LES: She'll let me do the garden now. 1580 01:43:07,200 --> 01:43:10,360 Come on. Everyone's waiting to start the party. 1581 01:43:17,120 --> 01:43:19,120 Welcome home.