1
00:00:03,344 --> 00:00:04,183
Josh: WHEN I WAS IN THE THIRD.

2
00:00:04,207 --> 00:00:06,838
GRADE, I HAD THE CUTEST
LITTLE TURTLE EVER.

3
00:00:06,862 --> 00:00:07,735
Drake: WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID,

4
00:00:07,759 --> 00:00:10,527
I HAD THE HOTTEST
BABY-SITTER EVER.

5
00:00:10,551 --> 00:00:11,700
Josh: HIS NAME WAS SHELDON.

6
00:00:11,724 --> 00:00:14,596
Drake: HER NAME WAS DEBBIE.

7
00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:17,251
I REMEMBER SHE USED
TO LIKE TO EAT GRAPES.

8
00:00:17,275 --> 00:00:18,562
Josh: I REMEMBER
HE USED TO LOVE.

9
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,907
TO EAT BUGS.

10
00:00:20,931 --> 00:00:22,458
Drake: AND WHENEVER I"D GET.

11
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:25,527
SCARED... SHE"D HOLD MY HAND.

12
00:00:25,551 --> 00:00:26,596
Josh: WHENEVER HE"D GET SCARED,

13
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:29,838
HE"D... PEE IN MY HAND.

14
00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:33,182
Drake: BUT THEN DEBBIE
MOVED TO WISCONSIN.

15
00:00:33,206 --> 00:00:39,044
Josh: BUT THEN ONE DAY
SHELDON... PASSED ON.

16
00:00:39,068 --> 00:00:42,079
Drake: SO MY MOM GOT
ME A NEW BABY-SITTER.

17
00:00:42,103 --> 00:00:45,044
Josh: SO MY DAD
BOUGHT ME A LIZARD.

18
00:00:45,068 --> 00:00:48,458
Drake: HER NAME WAS MRS. FINKLE.

19
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:52,217
Josh: HIS NAME WAS JULIO.

20
00:00:52,241 --> 00:00:53,596
Drake: SHE USED TO MAKE ME EAT.

21
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:54,976
WARM TUNA FISH AND WATCH

22
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,700
EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION.

23
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,355
Josh: HE USED TO CLIMB UP MY.

24
00:00:59,379 --> 00:01:03,010
CHEST AND BITE MY THROAT!

25
00:01:03,034 --> 00:01:04,148
Drake: AND THE
MORE I HATED THAT.

26
00:01:04,172 --> 00:01:06,320
OLD LADY... Josh: AND
THE MORE I HATED THAT.

27
00:01:06,344 --> 00:01:08,907
VICIOUS LIZARD...

28
00:01:08,931 --> 00:01:10,838
Drake: THE MORE I MISSED DEBBIE.

29
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,596
Josh: THE MORE I MISSED SHELDON.

30
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:13,769
Drake: I GUESS I NEVER REALLY.

31
00:01:13,793 --> 00:01:15,286
APPRECIATED DEBBIE...

32
00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:16,596
Josh: I GUESS I NEVER REALIZED.

33
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:18,182
HOW MUCH I LOVED SHELDON...

34
00:01:18,206 --> 00:01:19,596
Drake: TILL SHE WAS GONE.

35
00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:27,620
Josh: UNTIL JULIO
TRIED TO KILL ME!

36
00:01:28,034 --> 00:01:31,665
ME! Drake: OK, OPEN.

37
00:01:31,689 --> 00:01:37,182
Tori: UM... GREEN APPLE?
Drake: EXCELLENT. OPEN.

38
00:01:37,206 --> 00:01:38,149
Tori: CHERRY.

39
00:01:38,173 --> 00:01:39,286
Drake: MORE SPECIFIC, PLEASE.

40
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:45,010
Tori: VERY CHERRY?
Drake: VERY GOOD.

41
00:01:45,034 --> 00:01:47,217
Tori: HMM. HOT GUY LIPS?

42
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,355
Drake: THAT IS CORRECT.

43
00:01:49,379 --> 00:01:50,769
WE ALSO WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED

44
00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:53,872
EXTREMELY HOT GUY LIPS.

45
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,217
Tori: HEY, GET ME A SODA?

46
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:57,113
Both: MOCHA COLA, EXTRA ICE.

47
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:58,665
Tori: WOW, YOU"RE GOOD.

48
00:01:58,689 --> 00:01:59,666
Drake: YEAH, WE ALSO WOULD"VE.

49
00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:01,389
ACCEPTED EXTREMELY GOOD.

50
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:06,182
HEY, JOSH. AAH!

51
00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:08,458
Josh: LOOK, YOU CAN "AAH" ALL.

52
00:02:08,482 --> 00:02:11,976
YOU WANT, ALL RIGHT?
I LIKE MY MUSTACHE.

53
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,148
Drake: OH, COME ON. GRAMMY HAS.

54
00:02:13,172 --> 00:02:16,148
MORE HAIR ON HER
UPPER LIP THAN THAT.

55
00:02:16,172 --> 00:02:18,044
Josh: DO NOT MAKE FUN OF.

56
00:02:18,068 --> 00:02:21,700
GRAMMY"S HORMONAL IMBALANCES!

57
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:23,872
Drake: OOH, SORRY. WHY DON"T.

58
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:25,113
YOU JUST SHAVE THAT THING OFF?

59
00:02:25,137 --> 00:02:27,182
Josh: NO. EVER SINCE I"VE GROWN.

60
00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:28,941
THIS MUSTACHE, PEOPLE TREAT ME

61
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:31,907
DIFFERENTLY. I GET MORE RESPECT.

62
00:02:31,931 --> 00:02:33,838
Gavin: HEY, JOSH, HELEN WANTS.

63
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:34,770
YOU TO GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT

64
00:02:34,794 --> 00:02:37,079
AND EMPTY THE RAT TRAPS.

65
00:02:37,103 --> 00:02:39,458
Josh: YOU SEE? HELEN NEVER LET.

66
00:02:39,482 --> 00:02:42,493
ME DO THAT BEFORE. THE POWER...

67
00:02:42,517 --> 00:02:44,803
OF THE "STACHE."

68
00:02:44,827 --> 00:02:46,251
Drake: IF YOU SAY SO.

69
00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:47,320
Josh: YOU KNOW,
YOU SHOULD THINK.

70
00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:48,941
ABOUT GROWING A MUSTACHE. I BET

71
00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,976
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
WOULD THINK IT"S COOL.

72
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,148
Drake: OW, OW, OW!
DON"T SAY "GIRLFRIEND."

73
00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:55,355
Josh: WHY NOT?

74
00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:56,838
Drake: BECAUSE TORI AND I ARE.

75
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,769
JUST DATING. I DON"T LIKE THE

76
00:02:58,793 --> 00:03:00,148
WORD "GIRLFRIEND."

77
00:03:00,172 --> 00:03:04,286
Josh: MINDY"S MY GIRLFRIEND.

78
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,424
I DON"T HAVE A
PROBLEM SAYING IT.

79
00:03:06,448 --> 00:03:08,458
Drake: OH, JOSH, HOW CAN I.

80
00:03:08,482 --> 00:03:10,493
EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU? YOU SEE,

81
00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:13,976
GIRLS ARE A LOT LIKE... CANDY.

82
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,113
Josh: CANDY?

83
00:03:16,137 --> 00:03:18,872
Drake: RIGHT. LET"S SAY TORI IS.

84
00:03:18,896 --> 00:03:20,355
THE MEGATHON BAR.

85
00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:22,320
Josh: TORI IS THE MEGATHON BAR.

86
00:03:22,344 --> 00:03:23,389
Drake: GREAT CANDY BAR, RIGHT?

87
00:03:23,413 --> 00:03:24,665
Josh: SURE.

88
00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:25,632
Drake: YEAH, BUT I
WOULDN"T WANT.

89
00:03:25,656 --> 00:03:26,700
THIS TO BE THE ONLY CANDY IN MY

90
00:03:26,724 --> 00:03:27,872
LIFE, WOULD YOU?

91
00:03:27,896 --> 00:03:29,596
Josh: NO.

92
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,044
Drake: EXACTLY. I MEAN, SOME.

93
00:03:31,068 --> 00:03:32,769
DAYS WE"D WANT A
FLUTTER NUTTER...

94
00:03:32,793 --> 00:03:33,528
Josh: SURE.

95
00:03:33,552 --> 00:03:35,182
Drake: OTHER DAYS
SOME SQUIGGLES...

96
00:03:35,206 --> 00:03:36,011
Josh: I LIKE THE SQUIGGLES.

97
00:03:36,035 --> 00:03:37,872
Drake: AND DWEEBS AND PUDDYCATS.

98
00:03:37,896 --> 00:03:39,148
AND MELON Ms.

99
00:03:39,172 --> 00:03:40,665
Josh: ALL RIGHT, WILL
YOU CUT TO THE CHASE?

100
00:03:40,689 --> 00:03:41,632
Drake: SURE. YOU SEE, WE AS MEN.

101
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,389
CAN ENJOY THE MEGATHON BAR

102
00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:44,803
WHENEVER WE WANT, BUT THAT

103
00:03:44,827 --> 00:03:46,044
DOESN"T MEAN WE HAVE TO MAKE IT

104
00:03:46,068 --> 00:03:49,424
OUR CANDYFRIEND.

105
00:03:49,448 --> 00:03:50,928
Tori: HEY. Drake:
OH, HEY. I WAS JUST.

106
00:03:51,172 --> 00:03:52,907
GETTING YOUR SODA. Tori:
THANKS, BUT MY MOM JUST.

107
00:03:52,931 --> 00:03:53,976
CALLED AND SHE WANTS ME TO GET

108
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,493
HOME, SO I BETTER...
WERE YOU JUST

109
00:03:56,517 --> 00:03:58,217
BUYING ME ALL THIS CANDY?

110
00:03:58,241 --> 00:04:00,217
Drake: WELL, I...

111
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:01,976
Tori: THAT IS SO SWEET OF YOU.

112
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,389
IS HE THE CUTEST
BOYFRIEND OR WHAT?

113
00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:12,413
Drake: BOYFRIEND?
Tori: THE CUTEST.

114
00:04:14,137 --> 00:04:15,182
Josh: LOOKS LIKE ALL YOU GOT IS.

115
00:04:15,206 --> 00:04:21,872
A MEGATHON BAR. Gavin: I GOT IT.

116
00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:23,907
♪ I NEVER THOUGHT THAT IT"D BE

117
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,182
SO SIMPLE, BUT I FOUND A WAY,

118
00:04:27,206 --> 00:04:35,206
I FOUND A WAY, IF YOU
OPEN UP YOUR MIND ♪

119
00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:44,562
♪ IT"S GONNA TAKE
SOME TIME TO REALIZE,

120
00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:46,941
BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE,

121
00:04:46,965 --> 00:04:53,803
I "M SURE YOU" LL FIND,
OVER YOUR SHOULDER,

122
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,424
YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU

123
00:04:55,448 --> 00:04:57,872
I"LL ALWAYS BE PICKING YOU UP

124
00:04:57,896 --> 00:05:05,896
WHEN YOU"RE DOWN,
SO JUST TURN AROUND ♪

125
00:05:08,103 --> 00:05:16,103
SO JUST TURN AROUND ♪
♪ OOH OOH OOOOOOOH ♪

126
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,596
Josh: WHAT?

127
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:38,044
Megan: SO, ARE YOU
TWO, LIKE, DATING NOW?

128
00:05:38,068 --> 00:05:39,217
Mindy: YEAH.

129
00:05:39,241 --> 00:05:40,562
Josh: YES, WE ARE.

130
00:05:40,586 --> 00:05:42,838
Megan: WHY?

131
00:05:42,862 --> 00:05:44,286
Josh: I HAPPEN TO FIND MINDY.

132
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,148
VERY APPEALING.

133
00:05:46,172 --> 00:05:47,217
Megan: OH, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

134
00:05:47,241 --> 00:05:48,286
I "M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT"S

135
00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:50,803
GONE WRONG IN HERHEAD.

136
00:05:50,827 --> 00:05:52,113
Mindy: MEGAN, I KNOW IT"S HARD.

137
00:05:52,137 --> 00:05:53,596
FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND, BUT I

138
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,493
THINK JOSH IS VERY SMART, FUNNY,

139
00:05:55,517 --> 00:05:57,803
INTERESTING, AND CUTE.

140
00:05:57,827 --> 00:06:00,320
Megan: DID YOU PUT
SOMETHING IN HER FOOD?

141
00:06:00,344 --> 00:06:02,596
Josh: ALL RIGHT, THAT"S IT! OUT!

142
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:03,665
Megan: WAIT. CAN I JUST TAKE A.

143
00:06:03,689 --> 00:06:04,700
FEW PICTURES OF YOU FIRST?

144
00:06:04,724 --> 00:06:06,355
Josh: SURE. WHAT FOR?

145
00:06:06,379 --> 00:06:07,769
Megan: IT"S FOR A SCHOOL PAPER.

146
00:06:07,793 --> 00:06:08,976
I"M WRITING ABOUT HOW FACIAL

147
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,079
HAIR MAKES SOME PEOPLE LOOK MORE

148
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,320
ATTRACTIVE.

149
00:06:11,344 --> 00:06:12,700
Josh: OH.

150
00:06:12,724 --> 00:06:13,769
Megan: AND HOW IT MAKES OTHERS.

151
00:06:13,793 --> 00:06:15,113
LOOK MORE STUPID.

152
00:06:15,137 --> 00:06:23,137
Josh: OUT! Megan: OOH,
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.

153
00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:25,493
Josh: I AM SO TIRED OF HER AND.

154
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:27,907
DRAKE BUGGING ME
ABOUT MY "STACHE."

155
00:06:27,931 --> 00:06:29,527
Mindy: UH-HUH.

156
00:06:29,551 --> 00:06:31,458
Josh: WHAT DOES "UH-HUH" MEAN?

157
00:06:31,482 --> 00:06:33,527
Mindy: JUST UH-HUH.

158
00:06:33,551 --> 00:06:34,665
Josh: NO, THAT WASN"T JUST AN.

159
00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:38,907
UH-HUH UH-HUH. THAT
WAS A UH-HUHUH-HUH.

160
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:40,217
Mindy: NO, NO.

161
00:06:40,241 --> 00:06:41,458
Josh: YOU HATE MY "STACHE."

162
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:42,425
Mindy: OH, HATE IS A VERY.

163
00:06:42,449 --> 00:06:46,217
STRONG... ACCURATE WORD.

164
00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:48,079
Josh: MINDY...

165
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,493
Mindy: KIDDING.
I WAS KIDDING. I.

166
00:06:49,517 --> 00:06:51,044
LIKE IT. SERIOUSLY.

167
00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:52,148
Josh: YOU DO?

168
00:06:52,172 --> 00:06:53,700
Mindy: SURE. I"LL GIVE YOU 30.

169
00:06:53,724 --> 00:06:56,079
BUCKS TO SHAVE IT OFF.

170
00:06:56,103 --> 00:07:01,148
Josh: OH... Drake: HEY, JOSH.

171
00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:03,389
Josh: AHEM.

172
00:07:03,413 --> 00:07:04,734
Drake: YEAH?

173
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,941
Josh: MINDY"S HERE.

174
00:07:05,965 --> 00:07:06,908
Drake: OH, RIGHT. I"LL CALL THE.

175
00:07:06,932 --> 00:07:08,665
EXTERMINATOR.

176
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:09,803
Mindy: OH, WHAT"S THE MATTER,

177
00:07:09,827 --> 00:07:10,770
DRAKE? YOU FEELING STRESSED

178
00:07:10,794 --> 00:07:12,424
ABOUT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND?

179
00:07:12,448 --> 00:07:15,217
Drake: TORI IS NOT
MY GIRLFRIEND.

180
00:07:15,241 --> 00:07:16,562
Mindy: THAT"S NOT WHAT I HEAR.

181
00:07:16,586 --> 00:07:17,941
Drake: YEAH, WELL, IT DOESN"T.

182
00:07:17,965 --> 00:07:19,596
MATTER WHAT YOU HEAR BECAUSE I"M

183
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:21,320
GONNA BREAK UP WITH
HER TOMORROW AT SCHOOL.

184
00:07:21,344 --> 00:07:22,493
Josh: HOW COME?

185
00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:23,596
Drake: YOU HEARD
HER CALL ME HER.

186
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:24,907
BOYFRIEND. SOMETHING HAS TO BE

187
00:07:24,931 --> 00:07:28,355
DONE. IN FACT, I"M JUST GONNA

188
00:07:28,379 --> 00:07:29,700
BREAK UP WITH HER RIGHT NOW.

189
00:07:29,724 --> 00:07:30,701
Mindy: YOU CAN"T END A.

190
00:07:30,725 --> 00:07:32,493
RELATIONSHIP WITH A PHONE CALL.

191
00:07:32,517 --> 00:07:36,493
Drake: DUH. I"M GONNA
TEXT MESSAGE HER.

192
00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:38,458
Josh: JUST TELL HER IN PERSON.

193
00:07:38,482 --> 00:07:39,907
Drake: I CAN"T, MAN. I MEAN,

194
00:07:39,931 --> 00:07:41,596
WHAT IF SHE "S A CRIER? I CAN"T

195
00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:42,976
HANDLE IT WHEN A GIRL CRIES.

196
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:50,458
Mindy: SURE YOU CAN. YOU
JUST NEED PRACTICE. DRAKE.

197
00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:51,631
ALL RIGHT, NOW, JOSH, YOU BE

198
00:07:51,655 --> 00:07:53,527
TORI. DRAKE, YOU BE YOU.

199
00:07:53,551 --> 00:07:56,355
Josh: [WHINING] I
WANTED TO BE DRAKE.

200
00:07:56,379 --> 00:08:00,838
Mindy: TOO BAD.
READY, SET, BREAK UP.

201
00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:03,458
Drake: ALL RIGHT. UH, TORI?

202
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,493
Josh: [EXAGGERATED WHINY VOICE]

203
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,976
WHAT IS IT, DRAKE?

204
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:07,942
Drake: OK, I CAN"T DO THIS IF.

205
00:08:07,966 --> 00:08:09,010
HE"S GONNA TALK LIKE THAT.

206
00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:10,389
Josh: I"M BEING A GIRL.

207
00:08:10,413 --> 00:08:11,252
Drake: WHAT GIRL HAS A.

208
00:08:11,276 --> 00:08:13,769
MUSTACHE OTHER THAN
YOUR GRANDMOTHER?

209
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:16,976
Josh: THAT TEARS IT! AAH!

210
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,044
Mindy: STOP IT! STOP IT!

211
00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:24,493
STOP IT! STOP IT! ALL
RIGHT? JUST DO THIS.

212
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:27,182
Drake: [SIGHS] TORI...

213
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:35,206
Josh: [HIGH VOICE] MM-HMM?
Mindy: NOW TAKE HER HANDS.

214
00:08:35,413 --> 00:08:37,113
Drake: NOW, I REALLY LIKE YOU.

215
00:08:37,137 --> 00:08:40,907
I... Josh: [GIDDILY]
OHHHH. HA HA.

216
00:08:40,931 --> 00:08:42,596
Drake: BUT I THINK WE"RE GONNA.

217
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:44,458
HAVE TO BREAK UP.

218
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,079
[CRYING, SOBBING]

219
00:08:47,103 --> 00:08:49,493
Drake: SEE, I CAN"T HANDLE THAT.

220
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:52,872
Mindy: JUST KEEP GOING.
YOU CAN HANDLE IT.

221
00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:55,286
Drake: I... I...
LOOK, I JUST THINK

222
00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:56,803
I NEED TO DATE OTHER PEOPLE.

223
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,320
AND YOU SHOULD, TOO.

224
00:08:58,344 --> 00:09:04,044
Josh: WELL, I GUESS
I UNDERSTAND.

225
00:09:04,068 --> 00:09:05,976
Drake: UH, JUST ONE MORE THING.

226
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,458
Josh: YES?

227
00:09:07,482 --> 00:09:15,482
Josh: SHAVE OFF THE
MUSTACHE! Josh: OUT!

228
00:09:17,206 --> 00:09:18,493
Drake: TORI?

229
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:19,769
Tori: OH, HEY, DRAKE.

230
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,458
Drake: UH, YOU
GOT A SEC TO TALK?

231
00:09:22,482 --> 00:09:29,424
TALK? Tori: YEAH, SURE.

232
00:09:29,448 --> 00:09:31,251
Drake: [SIGHS] TORI...

233
00:09:31,275 --> 00:09:34,320
Tori: YOU"RE
BREAKING UP WITH ME?

234
00:09:34,344 --> 00:09:36,596
Drake: OK, HOW DID
YOU KNOW THAT?

235
00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:37,665
Tori: BECAUSE GUYS JUST DON"T.

236
00:09:37,689 --> 00:09:40,320
GO, [SIGHS] "TORI," UNLESS

237
00:09:40,344 --> 00:09:42,976
THEY"RE DUMPING YOU.

238
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,010
Drake: WELL, I
WOULDN "T SAY I" M.

239
00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:45,044
DUMPING YOU.

240
00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:46,148
Tori: YOU"RE NOT DUMPING ME?

241
00:09:46,172 --> 00:09:47,458
Drake: NO, I AM. I... I JUST.

242
00:09:47,482 --> 00:09:49,010
WOULDN"T SAY IT.

243
00:09:49,034 --> 00:09:50,976
Tori: LOOK, I GET IT. YOU WANT.

244
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,458
TO DATE OTHER PEOPLE.

245
00:09:52,482 --> 00:09:53,941
Drake: WELL...

246
00:09:53,965 --> 00:09:55,562
Tori: IT"S COOL. SERIOUSLY, NO.

247
00:09:55,586 --> 00:09:57,286
HARD FEELINGS.

248
00:09:57,310 --> 00:10:00,320
Drake: YOU ARE AWESOME. WANT TO.

249
00:10:00,344 --> 00:10:02,596
MAKE OUT A LITTLE BIT?

250
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:03,941
Tori: I DON"T THINK SO.

251
00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:11,965
SEE YOU LATER,
DRAKE. HUG GOOD-BYE?

252
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:25,458
Man: WHASSUP? Josh: WHASSUP?

253
00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:27,044
Mindy: HAPPY SATURDAY.

254
00:10:27,068 --> 00:10:29,458
Josh: HEY, WHAT BRINGS
YOU TO THE PREMIERE?

255
00:10:29,482 --> 00:10:30,425
Mindy: I JUST THOUGHT I"D BRING.

256
00:10:30,449 --> 00:10:31,734
YOU A LITTLE LUNCH.

257
00:10:31,758 --> 00:10:33,941
Josh: WHOA. HOW COOL ARE YOU?

258
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,251
LET"S SEE, WE GOT A LITTLE HAM

259
00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:36,595
AND CHEESE ACTION.
Mindy: CHEDDAR.

260
00:10:37,275 --> 00:10:38,976
Josh: SOME APPLE WEDGES.

261
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,480
Mindy: WITH THE
CARAMEL DIPPIN" SAUCE.

262
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,563
Josh: I SAY CARAMEL, BUT ALL.

263
00:10:41,587 --> 00:10:44,217
RIGHT. JUICE BOX.

264
00:10:44,241 --> 00:10:45,424
Mindy: WITH BENDY STRAW.

265
00:10:45,448 --> 00:10:49,079
Josh: AND FOR DESSERT...

266
00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:50,976
SHAVING CREAM AND A RAZOR.

267
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,872
YEAH, SO I"M GONNA SKIP DESSERT.

268
00:10:53,896 --> 00:10:56,320
Mindy: COME ON, JOSH,
JUST SHAVE IT OFF.

269
00:10:56,344 --> 00:10:58,286
Josh: NO. ALL
RIGHT, MY "STACHE."

270
00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:00,286
HAS CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE.

271
00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:02,700
Mindy: HOW?

272
00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:03,597
Josh: SEE THAT COOL-LOOKING GUY.

273
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:04,769
STANDING OVER THERE?

274
00:11:04,793 --> 00:11:06,044
Mindy: YEAH.

275
00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:07,665
Josh: 2 MINUTES AGO, HE WALKED.

276
00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:09,148
RIGHT BY ME, SAW MY "STACHE,

277
00:11:09,172 --> 00:11:12,286
SAID, ""SUP?"

278
00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:14,320
Mindy: SO YOU LIKE THE MUSTACHE.

279
00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:16,734
BECAUSE IT HELPS YOU
MEET STRANGE MEN.

280
00:11:16,758 --> 00:11:19,010
Josh: NO. IT JUST
SORT OF UPS MY.

281
00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:20,976
COOL "CAUSE..." CAUSE A GUY LIKE

282
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:21,977
THAT DOESN"T JUST GO WALKING

283
00:11:22,001 --> 00:11:23,907
AROUND HANDING OUT "SUPS."

284
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:27,113
Mindy: RIGHT. OF COURSE NOT.

285
00:11:27,137 --> 00:11:28,389
Josh: I APPRECIATE THE LUNCH,

286
00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:29,218
BUT I GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK.

287
00:11:29,242 --> 00:11:33,596
Mindy: OK. Josh: LATER.

288
00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:34,734
Josh: WHAT?

289
00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:36,113
Mindy: LOOK, I HATE TO DO THIS,

290
00:11:36,137 --> 00:11:37,424
JOSH, BUT I AM NOT KISSING YOU

291
00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:39,665
UNTIL YOU SHAVE
OFF THAT MUSTACHE.

292
00:11:39,689 --> 00:11:40,700
Josh: WELL, I "M NOT SHAVIN" MY.

293
00:11:40,724 --> 00:11:42,562
"STACHE UNTIL YOU KISS ME."

294
00:11:42,586 --> 00:11:43,976
Mindy: FINE.

295
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,320
Josh: FINE. BUT
KNOW THIS, MINDY.

296
00:11:47,344 --> 00:11:50,320
CRENSHAW. I WENT 15 YEARS

297
00:11:50,344 --> 00:11:56,113
WITHOUT KISSING A
GIRL. I COULD WAIT.

298
00:11:56,137 --> 00:12:02,424
WAIT. Man: "SUP?"

299
00:12:02,448 --> 00:12:07,424
Man: "SUP? Drake: I"LL CALL YOU.

300
00:12:07,448 --> 00:12:09,527
HELLO.

301
00:12:09,551 --> 00:12:13,941
Josh: WHAT ARE YOU
SO GIDDY ABOUT?

302
00:12:13,965 --> 00:12:21,665
ABOUT? A GIRL"S PHONE NUMBER?

303
00:12:21,689 --> 00:12:24,838
"14 GIRLS" PHONE NUMBERS?

304
00:12:24,862 --> 00:12:25,735
Drake: YUP. THERE"S A LOT OF.

305
00:12:25,759 --> 00:12:26,769
CANDY OUT THERE, JOSH, AND YOU

306
00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:33,734
ARE LOOKING AT MR. WILLY WONKA.

307
00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:36,769
Josh: EX-GIRLFRIEND...
9 O"CLOCK.

308
00:12:36,793 --> 00:12:41,665
OH, WOW.

309
00:12:41,689 --> 00:12:43,320
Drake: YEAH, THERE"S TORI.

310
00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:44,976
Josh: YEAH, BUT...

311
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,320
LOOK, SHE"S WITH ANOTHER GUY.

312
00:12:47,344 --> 00:12:48,665
Drake: DOESN"T BOTHER ME.

313
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:50,217
Josh: REALLY? HE"S A PRETTY.

314
00:12:50,241 --> 00:12:52,044
GOOD-LOOKING DUDE.

315
00:12:52,068 --> 00:12:52,977
Drake: I GUESS, BUT IT STILL.

316
00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:55,424
DOESN"T BOTHER ME.

317
00:12:55,448 --> 00:13:03,448
Josh: HOW ABOUT THAT?
Drake: YEAH, THAT BOTHERS ME.

318
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,320
Drake: JOSH, YOU"RE
NOT GONNA BELIEVE...

319
00:13:19,344 --> 00:13:21,734
Josh: BELIEVE WHAT?

320
00:13:21,758 --> 00:13:24,734
Drake: WERE YOU JUST
COMBING YOUR MUSTACHE?

321
00:13:24,758 --> 00:13:27,148
Josh: NO.

322
00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:28,562
Drake: SO WHAT"S IN YOUR HAND?

323
00:13:28,586 --> 00:13:30,976
Josh: OOH, UH, IT"S JUST A COMB.

324
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:37,872
FOR, UH... FOR MY HAIR.

325
00:13:37,896 --> 00:13:39,665
Drake: UH-HUH.

326
00:13:39,689 --> 00:13:42,148
Josh: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

327
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:44,700
Drake: WOULD YOU LOOK AT TORI?

328
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:48,010
Josh: YEAH. SHE"S
WITH THAT GUY AGAIN.

329
00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:50,458
Drake: NO, THAT"S
A DIFFERENT GUY.

330
00:13:50,482 --> 00:13:51,872
Josh: WHAT"S YOUR PROBLEM?

331
00:13:51,896 --> 00:13:54,734
YOU"RE THE ONE THAT
BROKE UP WITH HER.

332
00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:55,563
Drake: YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I.

333
00:13:55,587 --> 00:14:00,044
JUST... I FEEL KIND
OF WEIRD ABOUT THIS.

334
00:14:00,068 --> 00:14:01,113
OH, HEY. SHE "S
ALONE. I" M GONNA

335
00:14:01,137 --> 00:14:02,045
GO TALK TO HER.

336
00:14:02,069 --> 00:14:03,424
Josh: WHAT FOR?

337
00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:04,803
Drake: TO GET BACK TOGETHER.

338
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,734
Josh: DRAKE, YOU DON"T GET BACK
WITH A GIRL JUST BECAUSE YOU"RE.

339
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:09,182
JEALOUS OF HER NEW BOYFRIENDS.

340
00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:10,976
Drake: YEAH, TRUE...

341
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,838
BUT I"M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.

342
00:14:13,862 --> 00:14:15,010
HELLO, TORI.

343
00:14:15,034 --> 00:14:16,182
Tori: WHAT"S UP, DRAKE?

344
00:14:16,206 --> 00:14:18,182
Drake: SO I"VE BEEN THINKING I.

345
00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:20,320
MIGHT GET BACK
TOGETHER WITH YOU.

346
00:14:20,344 --> 00:14:23,734
Tori: I SEE, AND DO I
HAVE ANY SAY IN THIS?

347
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:26,113
Drake: YEAH, YOU CAN SAY OK.

348
00:14:26,137 --> 00:14:28,286
Tori: YEAH, I DON"T
THINK SO, DRAKE.

349
00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:30,182
Drake: BUT I"M DRAKE.

350
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:31,596
Tori: YES, BUT I"M HAVING A.

351
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,563
REALLY GOOD TIME DATING

352
00:14:32,587 --> 00:14:34,596
DIFFERENT GUYS. YOU KNOW,

353
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:36,217
PLAYING THE FIELD.

354
00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:38,424
Drake: I"M IN A BAND.

355
00:14:38,448 --> 00:14:42,286
Tori: BYE, DRAKE.

356
00:14:42,310 --> 00:14:44,286
Drake: JOSH, YOU"RE NOT
GONNA BELIEVE WHAT JUST...

357
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:52,044
BELIEVE WHAT
JUST... Mindy: JOSH?

358
00:14:52,068 --> 00:14:55,044
Josh: I"M NOT SHAVING IT OFF.

359
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:58,079
Mindy: OK, JOSH.

360
00:14:58,103 --> 00:14:59,113
YOU KNOW, IT"S BEEN ABOUT 2

361
00:14:59,137 --> 00:15:01,562
WEEKS SINCE WE KISSED.

362
00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:06,734
Josh: MINDY, I WAITED 15 YEARS,

363
00:15:06,758 --> 00:15:12,217
15 LONG KISSLESS YEARS. YOU"LL

364
00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:14,113
GIVE IN WAY BEFORE I DO.

365
00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:16,907
Mindy: REALLY?

366
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:19,562
WHY, WHAT"S THIS?

367
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:26,734
OH, IT"S MY NEW LIP GLOSS. MMM.

368
00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:31,079
APRICOT. DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL

369
00:15:31,103 --> 00:15:34,320
OF APRICOTS, JOSH?

370
00:15:34,344 --> 00:15:38,700
Josh: I SAY A-PRICOT.

371
00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:40,458
Mindy: SMELL THE GLOSS, JOSH.

372
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,562
Josh: OH!

373
00:15:42,586 --> 00:15:44,389
Mindy: TO KISS ME,
ALL YOU GOTTA.

374
00:15:44,413 --> 00:15:48,148
DO IS SHAVE.

375
00:15:48,172 --> 00:15:51,389
Josh: NO! MM!

376
00:15:51,413 --> 00:15:59,413
"Mindy: OK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Josh: RUNNIN" OFF MY DESIRES!

377
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,320
Drake: RUNNING OFF HIS DESIRES?

378
00:16:02,344 --> 00:16:04,976
Mindy: YEAH.

379
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,596
Josh: [TAKES DEEP BREATH]

380
00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,665
YEAH, THAT"S ENOUGH EXERCISE...

381
00:16:08,689 --> 00:16:13,700
FOR THE YEAR.

382
00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:15,389
[DRAKE SIGHS]

383
00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:18,355
Mindy: WOW. BIG SIGH.

384
00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:20,976
Drake: YEAH, I"VE SIGHED BIGGER.

385
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,493
Mindy: SO WHAT"S WRONG?

386
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:26,251
Drake: OK, YOU"RE
KIND OF A GIRL, RIGHT?

387
00:16:26,275 --> 00:16:27,218
Mindy: WELL, IF NOT, I"VE BEEN.

388
00:16:27,242 --> 00:16:29,665
BUYING THE WRONG UNDERWEAR.

389
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:30,528
Drake: WELL, DO YOU KNOW THAT.

390
00:16:30,552 --> 00:16:32,182
GIRL I WAS DATING?

391
00:16:32,206 --> 00:16:33,183
Mindy: OHH, YES. JOSH TOLD ME.

392
00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:34,493
THE WHOLE STORY. YOU DUMPED HER.

393
00:16:34,517 --> 00:16:35,527
SHE "S DATING NEW
GUYS. YOU" RE A

394
00:16:35,551 --> 00:16:37,251
JEALOUS MESS.

395
00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:39,079
Drake: SO HOW DO I GET HER BACK?

396
00:16:39,103 --> 00:16:40,734
Mindy: DRAKE, YOU GOT JEALOUS.

397
00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:44,010
WHEN YOU SAW HER ON A DATE.

398
00:16:44,034 --> 00:16:45,562
Drake: RIGHT.

399
00:16:45,586 --> 00:16:49,355
Mindy: SO TO MAKE
HER JEALOUS, YOU...

400
00:16:49,379 --> 00:16:53,217
Drake: PUT A STINK
BOMB IN HER BACKPACK.

401
00:16:53,241 --> 00:16:55,493
OR... Mindy: DO I
HAVE TO SPELL THIS.

402
00:16:55,517 --> 00:16:56,734
OUT FOR YOU?

403
00:16:56,758 --> 00:16:58,596
Drake: WOULD YOU? Mindy:
YOU DATE SOMEONE ELSE TO.

404
00:16:58,620 --> 00:16:59,459
MAKE HER JEALOUS!

405
00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:01,700
Drake: OH, RIGHT!
AND WHERE DO I.

406
00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:02,528
PUT THE STINK BOMB?

407
00:17:02,552 --> 00:17:04,113
Mindy: I"LL TELL YOU
WHERE TO PUT IT!

408
00:17:04,137 --> 00:17:07,976
Josh: MINDY.

409
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,389
Mindy: UH, I"M GONNA GO GET A.

410
00:17:09,413 --> 00:17:10,390
BOTTLE OF WATER.

411
00:17:10,414 --> 00:17:14,044
Josh: MAKE THAT 2, PLEASE.

412
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:15,424
Mindy: HEY, MEGAN.

413
00:17:15,448 --> 00:17:16,527
Megan: HEY.

414
00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:17,803
Mindy: WHATCHA DOIN"?

415
00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:20,355
Megan: CUTTING UP A PINEAPPLE.

416
00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:22,251
Mindy: I SEE.

417
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:30,275
LISTEN, YOU WANT TO MAKE
$30? Megan: KEEP TALKING.

418
00:17:38,793 --> 00:17:42,044
[SHAVER BUZZES]

419
00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:43,355
Drake: WHAT"S GOING ON?

420
00:17:43,379 --> 00:17:46,286
[TURNS OFF SHAVER]

421
00:17:46,310 --> 00:17:47,527
MEGAN?

422
00:17:47,551 --> 00:17:48,838
Megan: HEY.

423
00:17:48,862 --> 00:17:50,838
Drake: WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN OUR ROOM?

424
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:53,010
Megan: I, UH... HA HA...

425
00:17:53,034 --> 00:17:54,148
FORGOT TO GIVE JOSH A HUG GOOD

426
00:17:54,172 --> 00:17:59,217
NIGHT. SWEET, SWEET JOSH. SLEEP

427
00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:07,241
TIGHT, LITTLE BOOB.
WELL, GOOD NIGHT.

428
00:18:31,793 --> 00:18:33,389
Drake: JOSH, IS TORI HERE?

429
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,872
Josh: UM... UH,
YEAH, SHE"S OVER.

430
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:37,320
THERE WITH ANOTHER
GOOD-LOOKING GUY.

431
00:18:37,344 --> 00:18:38,287
Drake: OH, GOOD,
"CAUSE I GOT A."

432
00:18:38,311 --> 00:18:42,700
HOT DATE COMING HERE ANY...

433
00:18:42,724 --> 00:18:43,701
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER HALF

434
00:18:43,725 --> 00:18:45,010
OF YOUR MUSTACHE?

435
00:18:45,034 --> 00:18:45,908
Josh: I JUST WOKE UP THIS.

436
00:18:45,932 --> 00:18:48,734
MORNING AND IT WAS GONE.

437
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:49,735
Drake: WELL, THEN,
WHY DON"T YOU.

438
00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:51,355
SHAVE OFF THE OTHER HALF?

439
00:18:51,379 --> 00:18:52,976
Josh: NO. ALL
RIGHT, THAT"S JUST.

440
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,355
WHAT MINDY WANTS ME TO DO.

441
00:18:55,379 --> 00:18:56,424
Drake: DUDE, IF YOU SHAVE IT.

442
00:18:56,448 --> 00:18:58,458
OFF, SHE WILL KISS YOU.

443
00:18:58,482 --> 00:18:59,252
Josh: WELL, THERE ARE MORE.

444
00:18:59,276 --> 00:19:00,769
IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THAN

445
00:19:00,793 --> 00:19:02,320
KISSING GIRLS.

446
00:19:02,344 --> 00:19:03,045
Drake: NAME 2.

447
00:19:03,069 --> 00:19:05,769
Josh: I CAN"T!

448
00:19:05,793 --> 00:19:06,666
Drake: IF YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR.

449
00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:08,355
DUMB MUSTACHE, COME HERE.

450
00:19:08,379 --> 00:19:09,252
Josh: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

451
00:19:09,276 --> 00:19:17,217
Drake: RE-STACHING
YOU. Josh: OW!

452
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:21,251
DO I LOOK GOOD?

453
00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:24,113
Drake: UH-HUH.

454
00:19:24,137 --> 00:19:26,286
OOH! HERE COMES LIZA.

455
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:27,493
Josh: HOT LIZA?

456
00:19:27,517 --> 00:19:28,494
Drake: THE HOTTEST. YOU THINK.

457
00:19:28,518 --> 00:19:30,355
SHE"LL MAKE TORI JEALOUS, HUH?

458
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:32,976
Josh: HUH! HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH!

459
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:33,666
Liza: HEY, DRAKE.

460
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:35,182
Drake: HEY, LIZA.

461
00:19:35,206 --> 00:19:36,355
YOU KNOW MY BROTHER JOSH.

462
00:19:36,379 --> 00:19:40,010
Liza: SURE, HEY, JO...
WHAT"S UP WITH HIS...

463
00:19:40,034 --> 00:19:48,034
WHAT"S UP WITH HIS...
Drake: UH, COME WITH ME.

464
00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:51,424
Liza: AAH!

465
00:19:51,448 --> 00:19:59,448
Drake: OHH! SORRY.
UM... SORRY ABOUT THAT.

466
00:19:59,655 --> 00:20:05,424
Liza: IT"S OK.

467
00:20:05,448 --> 00:20:07,113
SO WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO ASK ME

468
00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:08,493
OUT ALL OF A SUDDEN?

469
00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:10,355
Drake: UH, YOU KNOW, I JUST.

470
00:20:10,379 --> 00:20:11,149
WANTED TO GET TO KNOW YOU

471
00:20:11,173 --> 00:20:13,493
BETTER. SO TELL ME ABOUT YOU.

472
00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:15,079
Liza: UM, WELL, I"M A PEOPLE.

473
00:20:15,103 --> 00:20:17,596
PERSON AND I LOVE ANIMALS.

474
00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:19,320
Drake: THAT"S NICE. Liza:
MY DAD"S IN THE MILITARY,

475
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,252
SO WHEN I WAS LITTLE, WE USED TO

476
00:20:20,276 --> 00:20:22,803
MOVE FROM CITY...

477
00:20:22,827 --> 00:20:24,424
TO CITY. AND THEN I MOVED TO

478
00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:27,976
SAN DIEGO AND I GOT
INTO TEEN MODELING...

479
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,700
BUT WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO IS

480
00:20:29,724 --> 00:20:31,182
START ACTING AND MAYBE MOVE TO

481
00:20:31,206 --> 00:20:32,941
L.A. ONE DAY.

482
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,113
[DRAKE GROANING AND BANGING]

483
00:20:35,137 --> 00:20:36,148
Tori: DRAKE?

484
00:20:36,172 --> 00:20:38,734
Drake: TORI? I DIDN"T
KNOW YOU WERE HERE.

485
00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:39,666
Tori: YEAH, I"M JUST HERE WITH.

486
00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:40,838
MY FRIEND BRENT.

487
00:20:40,862 --> 00:20:41,976
Drake: OH, THAT
"S NICE. I" M JUST.

488
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,286
HERE WITH MY FRIEND HOT LIZA.

489
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:45,320
Liza: HUH?

490
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,424
Drake: SHE"S A TEEN MODEL, SHE.

491
00:20:46,448 --> 00:20:48,424
LOVES ANIMALS, AND
SHE"S IN THE MILITARY.

492
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,355
Liza: NO, MY DAD"S
IN THE MILITARY.

493
00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:53,251
Drake: SHH. I WAS JUST GONNA GO.

494
00:20:53,275 --> 00:20:54,389
GET US SOMETHING TO DRINK.

495
00:20:54,413 --> 00:20:56,734
Liza: ME, TOO. I"LL
WALK WITH YOU.

496
00:20:56,758 --> 00:20:57,666
Drake: YOU WANT ANYTHING?

497
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,044
Liza: OH, YEAH. CAN
YOU GET ME A LARGE...

498
00:20:59,068 --> 00:21:02,217
Drake: OH, THEY"RE OUT OF THAT.

499
00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:04,872
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LIZA?

500
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,872
PRETTY HOT, HUH?

501
00:21:06,896 --> 00:21:08,113
Tori: DRAKE, BY ANY CHANCE, DID.

502
00:21:08,137 --> 00:21:09,665
YOU BRING LIZA HERE TO TRY AND

503
00:21:09,689 --> 00:21:10,769
MAKE ME JEALOUS?

504
00:21:10,793 --> 00:21:14,596
Drake: NO. I... I CARE
DEEPLY ABOUT HER.

505
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:16,389
Tori: YEAH? WHAT"S
HER LAST NAME?

506
00:21:16,413 --> 00:21:21,458
Drake: OH, UH,
JOHN... JAMBALAYA.

507
00:21:21,482 --> 00:21:26,286
Tori: LIZA JAMBALAYA?

508
00:21:26,310 --> 00:21:28,596
Drake: OK. [SIGHS] TORI...

509
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:29,390
Tori: YOU WANT TO GET BACK.

510
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,734
TOGETHER WITH ME?

511
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:32,907
Drake: HOW"D YOU KNOW?

512
00:21:32,931 --> 00:21:34,148
Tori: BECAUSE GUYS DON"T JUST.

513
00:21:34,172 --> 00:21:37,010
GO, [SIGHS] "TORI" UNLESS

514
00:21:37,034 --> 00:21:38,148
THEY"RE BREAKING UP WITH YOU OR

515
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:39,045
THEY WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER

516
00:21:39,069 --> 00:21:40,458
WITH YOU, AND YOU ALREADY DID

517
00:21:40,482 --> 00:21:43,217
THE FIRST ONE.

518
00:21:43,241 --> 00:21:44,355
Drake: WELL, DO YOU WANT TO GET.

519
00:21:44,379 --> 00:21:46,251
BACK TOGETHER?

520
00:21:46,275 --> 00:21:49,458
Tori: MAYBE. DO YOU?

521
00:21:49,482 --> 00:21:50,907
Drake: MAYBE.

522
00:21:50,931 --> 00:21:54,251
Tori: BUT I KIND OF
FEEL BAD ABOUT BRENT.

523
00:21:54,275 --> 00:22:02,079
Drake: OH, YEAH.
UH... WAIT HERE.

524
00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:04,148
BRENT, THIS IS
LIZA. YOU LIKE HER?

525
00:22:04,172 --> 00:22:05,182
Brent: UH, SURE.

526
00:22:05,206 --> 00:22:06,149
Drake: COOL. SHE"S A PEOPLE.

527
00:22:06,173 --> 00:22:07,355
PERSON, SHE LOVES ANIMALS, AND

528
00:22:07,379 --> 00:22:08,700
HER DAD"S IN THE MILITARY.

529
00:22:08,724 --> 00:22:09,701
Brent: REALLY? MY DAD"S IN THE.

530
00:22:09,725 --> 00:22:10,907
MILITARY, TOO.

531
00:22:10,931 --> 00:22:12,424
Liza: NO WAY.

532
00:22:12,448 --> 00:22:13,648
Brent: COAST GUARD. Liza: NAVY!

533
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,976
Drake: OH, YOU KIDS HAVE FUN.

534
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:25,044
WE"RE GOOD TO GO. Tori: AWESOME.

535
00:22:25,068 --> 00:22:33,068
Tori: AWESOME. Josh: "SUP?"

536
00:22:43,724 --> 00:22:48,010
Josh: "SUP? Mindy: JOSH?"

537
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:49,769
JOSH?

538
00:22:49,793 --> 00:22:52,527
Josh: I"M IN A MEETING.

539
00:22:52,551 --> 00:22:59,700
Mindy: WOULD YOU
COME OUT OF THERE?

540
00:22:59,724 --> 00:23:01,803
OK. WHY DO YOU HAVE HALF A

541
00:23:01,827 --> 00:23:05,527
MUSTACHE MADE OF MAGIC MARKER?

542
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:06,872
Josh: I WOKE UP YESTERDAY.

543
00:23:06,896 --> 00:23:10,044
MORNING AND HALF MY
MUSTACHE WAS JUST GONE.

544
00:23:10,068 --> 00:23:11,769
Mindy: HALF?

545
00:23:11,793 --> 00:23:14,976
THAT GIRL OWES ME 15 BUCKS.

546
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:15,735
Josh: HUH?

547
00:23:15,759 --> 00:23:17,010
Mindy: NOTHING. GO ON.

548
00:23:17,034 --> 00:23:18,217
Josh: SO THEN DRAKE SAID I LOOK.

549
00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:19,941
STUPID SO HE FILLED IN THE

550
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:21,355
MISSING HALF WITH MAGIC MARKER.

551
00:23:21,379 --> 00:23:22,976
BUT THEN I JUST DECIDED TO GET

552
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:23,873
RID OF THE WHOLE THING, SO I

553
00:23:23,897 --> 00:23:26,113
SHAVED OFF THE HAIR HALF AND NOW

554
00:23:26,137 --> 00:23:28,769
I CAN"T GET THE MAGIC
MARKER HALF OFF.

555
00:23:28,793 --> 00:23:30,872
Mindy: WELL, HERE.

556
00:23:30,896 --> 00:23:36,320
YOU SHOULD AT LEAST
BE SYMMETRICAL. THERE.

557
00:23:36,344 --> 00:23:39,596
Josh: DO I LOOK GOOD?

558
00:23:39,620 --> 00:23:43,872
Mindy: UH-HUH.

559
00:23:43,896 --> 00:23:51,896
Josh: [SIGHS] THE
POWER OF THE "STACHE."

560
00:23:54,620 --> 00:23:55,563
Drake: YOU KNOW, I GOT TO TELL.

561
00:23:55,587 --> 00:23:58,596
YOU, I HATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, BUT

562
00:23:58,620 --> 00:24:00,079
HER IDEA TO MAKE TORI JEALOUS

563
00:24:00,103 --> 00:24:01,838
WAS REALLY SMART.

564
00:24:01,862 --> 00:24:03,148
Josh: NOT THAT SMART. THEY"VE.

565
00:24:03,172 --> 00:24:04,458
DONE IT ON EVERY SITCOM SINCE

566
00:24:04,482 --> 00:24:09,665
1950s. SURE DO MISS
KISSING HER, YOU KNOW?

567
00:24:09,689 --> 00:24:11,803
Drake: YEAH, I
MISS KISSING TORI.

568
00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:13,286
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

569
00:24:13,310 --> 00:24:21,310
[ CAPTIONING INSTITUTE.
www.ncicap.org... ]