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YTS.MX
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I've been called a witch,
a slut, and a murderer.
4
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,006
I've been hounded by the police
5
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,530
and slandered in the press.
6
00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,321
Maybe people confuse me
with the characters
7
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I played in films.
8
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,683
Like I'm an empty sign
9
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on to which they project
their fantasies
10
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,297
and their shortcomings.
11
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,612
But I don't need
to settle scores.
12
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:35,051
I'm reclaiming my soul.
13
00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:50,414
I write as a woman
14
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:53,025
searching for
another adventure.
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00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:07,431
We're not
a nostalgic family in any way.
16
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,567
Yes, we had some great times,
17
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,917
and some were not that great.
18
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,964
But we don't reminisce
about those sort of times.
19
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,750
It just wasn't in our nature.
20
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,449
My mother, especially,
21
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:28,757
is not someone
who'd dwell in the past at all.
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00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:31,412
Melancholy.
23
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:33,457
Anita never suffered
from that sort of thing
24
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:35,894
or at least
never appeared outwardly.
25
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:38,506
She was just like, "Yeah, well,
that was that. Let's move on."
26
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,206
So when she died,
me and my children
27
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,556
started going through
documents and drawers
28
00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:47,689
to try to find legal papers.
29
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:51,736
And I was really shocked
to find Anita's manuscript
30
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,565
right there perfectly typed
in the box.
31
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,395
Quite astonishing.
32
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:04,749
It was important that
eventually she said something.
33
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:06,186
And that's what it is.
34
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:11,103
Her intention was not
to be a housewife
35
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:13,149
or the wife of anyone really.
36
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,195
Not even Keith's.
37
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,895
She had bigger balls
than any of them did, probably,
38
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,157
in a lot of ways.
39
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:30,906
I mean, Anita,
she was a unique piece of work.
40
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,215
I mean, I've never quite
figured it all out.
41
00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,089
Basically, I was trying
to keep up with her
42
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,743
most of the time.
43
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,529
And the most of the time,
it was fun.
44
00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:03,068
This isn't really
an autobiography.
45
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,554
It's more like memory images.
46
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:15,472
A traveler's tale
through a landscape
47
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:18,301
of dreams and shadows.
48
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:25,003
I don't think the lawyers
will like it very much.
49
00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:42,673
We had no secrets
with each other.
50
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:47,069
Anita and I, we had
quite an intense friendship.
51
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,638
As soon as we saw each other,
you know,
52
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:53,510
we rushed to each other
and hugged each other.
53
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:59,037
And, for her,
it was so easy and uncomplicated
54
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:02,171
because it was kind of
understood from the beginning,
55
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,478
there's no sex between us.
56
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:10,353
So let's find a different
kind of relationship.
57
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:17,317
I was looking for an actress
58
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,754
that wouldn't look
like an actress.
59
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:26,326
I asked a fashion photographer
whether he knew anybody.
60
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,110
And he said, "Yes, I do."
61
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:32,332
"I just photographed her
on the highest German mountain,
62
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,594
the Zugspitze,
63
00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:36,858
and she's absolutely incredible
and wild."
64
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,252
Anita had vulnerability.
65
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:44,256
Even though she was like
a tough cookie,
66
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,477
there was a really, like,
an earnest quality
67
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,565
in her as well.
68
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,786
I thought if she remains
69
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:55,180
as natural as possible
in front of the camera,
70
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,399
so much the better.
71
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:05,408
I was extremely close friends
with Anita,
72
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:07,758
but I always wondered
73
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,673
whether she had any family.
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00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:13,111
I never really knew
what was with her father,
75
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:14,591
what was with her mother.
76
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:17,638
Did she have a sister
or a brother?
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00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,336
She would never speak about it.
78
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,422
[in English] I was always
a wild child,
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00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:03,727
rebellious,
80
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,338
causing my family problems.
81
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,257
They said acting
was for prostitutes.
82
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,130
That I'd dirtied
the Pallenberg name.
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00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,091
My father
was a classical musician.
84
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:25,488
My mother did everything
she could to please him.
85
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:31,581
My great-grandfather
was the painter Arnold Bocklin.
86
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:36,543
Famous for his paintings
of bestial satyrs
87
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,719
and sleeping nymphs.
88
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,462
Bohemian aristocracy.
89
00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:49,556
We lost everything
during the war.
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00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,996
My earliest memories
are hearing airplanes
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00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,301
dropping bombs.
92
00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:02,438
I didn't learn to walk,
93
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,701
I ran.
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00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,884
We were moved around
in cattle cars.
95
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:19,281
Sliding doors, chaos, heat.
96
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,377
It affected me deeply.
97
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,168
The war in Rome,
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00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,475
it was a terrible period.
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00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:43,435
So repressive in all senses.
100
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:49,093
And the situation
at Anita's home was the same.
101
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,880
The parents,
they were old-fashioned.
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00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:54,751
Very conservative.
103
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,885
No hugging, no kissing,
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00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:01,410
no hotness of the heart.
105
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:05,414
And I think that Anita
really couldn't stand it.
106
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,285
It was not for her.
107
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,896
She was done in a different way.
108
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:12,290
She wanted to be hugged,
she wanted to have affection.
109
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:14,597
She wanted to feel things.
110
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,338
She loved to feel things.
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00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,865
Anita and I were going
in the same school,
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00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,388
the German school.
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00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,782
We had nuns.
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00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:28,132
German nuns. Can you imagine?
115
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,874
Of course,
you want to break the rules.
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00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:34,356
And in the night,
four, five, six of us going up
117
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:37,620
and trying to smoke cigarettes
at 16, you know?
118
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,056
And they got us.
119
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:45,323
We were the devils.
120
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:51,416
Anita was my teacher
in everything. Always.
121
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:54,202
She loved Fats Domino.
122
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:58,206
And she taught me
how to do rock and roll
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00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,730
with that one, two, three, four,
one, two, three, four.
124
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,471
And showing with the feet.
125
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,255
Dancing and pulling
and pushing.
126
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:06,823
♪ She's my boogie woogie baby ♪
127
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:09,521
She was my myth.
I wanted to be her.
128
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:11,045
I want to be Anita.
129
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,656
♪ Boogie-woogie, baby
Boogie all the time ♪
130
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:15,919
She was a sparkle.
131
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,660
She was sparkling, you know?
132
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,662
Where she was walking,
it was going tick, tick,
133
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:23,797
tick, tick of sparkles
of the eyes she had.
134
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:26,713
The way she was looking.
The smile she was having.
135
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,105
The way she was moving.
136
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,759
The way she moves.
137
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:31,979
This was Anita.
138
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:42,032
America, because of the jeans,
the music, the rock and roll,
139
00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:45,470
America, of course,
it was the dreamland to go.
140
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:48,125
We really wanted to go
to America.
141
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,213
All of us.
142
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:55,219
At 19,
I escaped to New York.
143
00:10:58,266 --> 00:10:59,702
I hardly spoke any English,
144
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:02,836
but when I got there,
I had an awakening.
145
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:14,543
It was 1963, the year
President Kennedy was shot.
146
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,812
With a few addresses
in my pocket
147
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,293
and some Italian charm,
148
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,687
I slid into the downtown scene.
149
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,695
I washed Jasper Johns' brushes.
150
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:39,786
I met Andy Warhol
151
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,788
and his rabbits.
152
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:50,100
At a party, Allen Ginsberg
collected pubic hair
153
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,362
from famous people.
154
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:54,844
He didn't ask me.
155
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,939
I loved the feeling
of culture exploding.
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00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:06,856
Being in New York,
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00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,816
Anita and I were great friends
158
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:12,514
and hung out always together.
159
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:16,126
We were grooving along
in our own scene.
160
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:20,827
And she quickly became
a very close friend.
161
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,745
I came from this
artistic family as well...
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00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,225
...so we had that in common.
163
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:32,969
Anita had an amazing life force
164
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,755
an amazing joie de vivre,
you know?
165
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,628
She had a view about the arts,
166
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:42,326
about pop art,
about a lot of things.
167
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:47,418
And, I mean,
who could look like Anita?
168
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:12,226
I was never
a serious model.
169
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,708
I hated the hairdresser,
false eyelashes,
170
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:18,232
and all that shit.
171
00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:22,671
But modeling sent me
all over the world.
172
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:24,934
And it was in Munich
173
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,023
that I first met
The Rolling Stones.
174
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,026
It was 1965.
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00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,080
♪ I wanna
Tell you something, baby ♪
176
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:43,213
Mick wasn't dancing
in those days.
177
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,129
He was still playing maracas.
178
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,395
Keith was really shy.
179
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:58,141
♪ 'Cause it's alright ♪
180
00:13:58,141 --> 00:13:59,926
♪ Yeah, it's alright ♪
181
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,841
The concert was wild.
182
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,973
♪ It's alright ♪
183
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,932
Police had to push
the audience back.
184
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,289
Mick got so scared,
he had to hide.
185
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,207
I loved every minute of it.
186
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,953
It sounds ridiculous, I know,
187
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:29,956
but my friends dared me
to kidnap one of them.
188
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:40,749
I got backstage
189
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,969
and noticed Brian Jones
right away.
190
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:47,408
He was the most beautiful one
in the group.
191
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,324
And he had
striking intelligence.
192
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:54,545
I offered the band some hash
and Brian said yes.
193
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:57,026
No need for kidnapping.
194
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,167
We became inseparable.
195
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,780
Everybody said
we looked like twins.
196
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:19,875
Yeah, I believe that two people
can fall in love very quickly.
197
00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,747
And I think they can find out
about each other
198
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:24,271
very quickly if they're in love.
199
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,100
My doppelganger.
200
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:28,928
My Brian.
201
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:33,236
It was time to leave New York.
202
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,243
When we moved in together,
203
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:43,855
our flat in London became
a crash pad for everybody.
204
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:54,823
Brian had got
this apartment
205
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:58,261
with his new girlfriend, Anita.
206
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:03,919
Anita was, even to us,
207
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:07,183
who've been around.
She was incredibly intriguing.
208
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:10,186
It was difficult
to put into words.
209
00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:14,974
Her knowledge of things
was just fantastic, you know?
210
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:20,327
I found myself going round
to Brian's more and more,
211
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:25,636
and not to see Brian,
of course, but to see Anita.
212
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,818
The flat
was an incredible mess.
213
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,386
They never decorated it.
214
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:41,652
I don't know what
we all found so fascinating.
215
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,916
I think it must have
been Anita.
216
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:52,011
She really brought something
to The Stones.
217
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:55,753
She was only 23
218
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,800
but I was only 18.
219
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,635
♪ He walks along
Singing his fairy song ♪
220
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:10,029
♪ Picking up magic
That grows at his feet ♪
221
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,465
I was making music.
222
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:13,771
And I was acting.
223
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,298
And I fell in love with Mick.
224
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:23,999
But neither Anita nor I
wanted to be with them
225
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,523
because we wanted
some of their power.
226
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,137
We had our own power.
227
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,364
You know,
Anita broke through
228
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,540
a sort of very sexist time.
229
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:50,591
And she demanded that
people follow on her terms
230
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:53,289
rather than
on anybody else's terms.
231
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:57,685
And her influence
was a tremendous one,
232
00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:01,689
especially on Brian.
233
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:07,042
You know, she got him far more
sophisticated than he was.
234
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:14,832
By then, I was in London,
playing in a pop band.
235
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:19,359
I was part of the whole
Rolling Stones scene,
236
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:25,060
and that's when
the psychedelics come in,
237
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,236
where suddenly there's this
238
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:30,413
whole other dimension
that opened up.
239
00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:46,037
We started doing acid
and I stopped modeling.
240
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:51,173
You couldn't do both,
and I loved acid.
241
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,373
But things
got a little spooky
242
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,506
when Brian started
to have bad trips.
243
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,511
He saw monsters falling
out of the cupboards
244
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,165
and enemies everywhere.
245
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:36,262
He had terrible asthma
246
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,394
and he started
taking amphetamines.
247
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:43,617
STP, Mandrax,
barbiturates, Dexedrine,
248
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,620
all prescription fucking shit.
249
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,277
We are
in the swimming pool of a motel
250
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:54,105
which happened to be
by the roadside and...
251
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,020
He started
to become aggressive.
252
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:59,894
Some typical Georgia idiot,
you know?
253
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:02,940
And Georgia is full of idiots.
254
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,594
man: Anything that you'd like
to say right now
255
00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:06,509
- before the camera rolls out?
- Goodbye.
256
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,119
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
257
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:12,733
His sudden rages scared me.
258
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,084
I had to learn
to stand my ground.
259
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,307
He would hit her.
260
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,440
It was really awful.
261
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,183
And Anita fought back.
262
00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:31,404
She would just
punch him straight back
263
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,493
and really hurt Brian,
264
00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:35,234
'cause he was quite weedy.
265
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:41,240
Brian was very weak, you know?
266
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,678
That's why he was
so cruel and
267
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:46,636
physically violent, I think.
268
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:51,250
But she never complained, no.
269
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,426
She just got on with it.
270
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,652
When I was sent
my first film script,
271
00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:05,568
he was so jealous
he ripped it up.
272
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:08,571
man:
273
00:21:08,571 --> 00:21:10,051
I did it anyway.
274
00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:14,403
man:
275
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:16,710
I'd read in a newspaper
276
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:19,278
an article about a prostitute
277
00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:23,238
who, in a brawl,
had killed her pimp...
278
00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:38,079
...and felt
no guilt about it,
279
00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:43,737
so she hired two guys.
280
00:21:46,609 --> 00:21:48,263
The three of them drive
281
00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,831
to the countryside
to dispose of the corpse.
282
00:21:54,443 --> 00:21:56,184
[in English] But they
have such a good time
283
00:21:56,184 --> 00:21:57,141
in the countryside
284
00:21:57,577 --> 00:21:59,056
that they forget about
the guy in the trunk.
285
00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:16,683
On the windshield,
286
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,598
we had written
on a little paper,
287
00:22:18,598 --> 00:22:20,730
"Fuck the message."
288
00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:23,124
Meaning this movie
has no meaning.
289
00:22:25,735 --> 00:22:28,477
I was very surprised
when one day,
290
00:22:28,477 --> 00:22:30,436
she showed up with Brian Jones
291
00:22:31,088 --> 00:22:33,352
in the small town of Munich,
a Stone.
292
00:22:35,136 --> 00:22:38,008
It was obvious
that Brian was very much
293
00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:40,533
depending on her affection.
294
00:22:41,229 --> 00:22:42,970
He was very insecure.
295
00:22:44,972 --> 00:22:47,757
Anita told me that
296
00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:51,805
Brian would like to do
the music for the film.
297
00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:53,763
Of course, I said yes.
298
00:22:54,547 --> 00:22:56,897
If you are offered
a Rolling Stone
299
00:22:56,897 --> 00:22:59,682
to score your movie,
in those days,
300
00:22:59,682 --> 00:23:02,598
I mean, you triple
the value of your film.
301
00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:08,648
At first, he was very,
very serious about it
302
00:23:08,952 --> 00:23:10,954
and he had wonderful ideas.
303
00:23:12,782 --> 00:23:14,697
But two months later,
304
00:23:14,697 --> 00:23:16,917
we could hardly get him
to the studio.
305
00:23:18,571 --> 00:23:22,226
He had somehow lost it.
306
00:23:24,185 --> 00:23:25,752
Keith was there,
307
00:23:25,752 --> 00:23:27,754
but probably to
play the guitar,
308
00:23:28,058 --> 00:23:32,106
and he saw how everything
was going down the drain.
309
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,457
He started to give a hand
310
00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:38,460
and more and more took over.
311
00:23:40,897 --> 00:23:45,119
Things have been running
a little fray in the band,
312
00:23:46,207 --> 00:23:50,124
so I thought I'd sort of
mend fences with Brian.
313
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:54,345
And at the same time,
I have to admit,
314
00:23:54,345 --> 00:23:56,609
I found Anita fascinating.
315
00:23:58,524 --> 00:24:00,613
There's that thing
across the room, you know?
316
00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:03,659
The elephant in the room. Hmm.
317
00:24:07,141 --> 00:24:09,839
At that time, the band,
to me, was, uh...
318
00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:11,232
It was my baby.
319
00:24:13,277 --> 00:24:16,498
So, you know,
it's a very delicate situation.
320
00:24:25,638 --> 00:24:27,988
When Keith was there,
Brian wouldn't hit me.
321
00:24:29,598 --> 00:24:31,252
So thank God for Keith.
322
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,822
Looking after Brian
became so difficult,
323
00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:37,824
I ended up downing vodka and...
324
00:24:38,215 --> 00:24:39,913
God knows what else
every night.
325
00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:50,532
Trouble was coming.
326
00:24:52,403 --> 00:24:55,494
Brian swallowed drugs
in front of a reporter
327
00:24:55,885 --> 00:24:57,583
and set off a wave of busts.
328
00:24:59,976 --> 00:25:02,892
reporter: A national newspaper
had tipped off the police
329
00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:04,372
that it would be
worth their while
330
00:25:04,372 --> 00:25:05,982
to raid Richards' home
for drugs.
331
00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:09,595
Jones admitted that he'd allowed
his flat in Courtfield Road
332
00:25:09,595 --> 00:25:11,118
to be used for drug taking.
333
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:12,554
reporter:
The jury have had to decide
334
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:14,338
did Keith Richard know
of the LSD,
335
00:25:14,338 --> 00:25:16,166
which police found
in his jacket pocket.
336
00:25:17,777 --> 00:25:20,475
I got busted with Mick
in my house.
337
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,825
It was an acid trip.
338
00:25:22,825 --> 00:25:24,914
I mean, we were all
just coming down.
339
00:25:24,914 --> 00:25:27,177
There's a knock at the door.
340
00:25:28,614 --> 00:25:29,876
It was the law.
341
00:25:32,052 --> 00:25:35,925
So we've been busted,
and now we're out on bail.
342
00:25:35,925 --> 00:25:37,100
And, uh...
343
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:44,281
run away was our first,
you know, manly response.
344
00:25:44,281 --> 00:25:48,459
So that was-- Let's run away
just for a bit,
345
00:25:48,459 --> 00:25:51,027
until we have
to turn up in court, you know.
346
00:25:52,638 --> 00:25:54,335
So we arranged this trip.
347
00:25:55,031 --> 00:25:56,555
"Let's go to Morocco."
348
00:26:02,386 --> 00:26:06,652
I end up in my car
with Anita and Brian.
349
00:26:11,439 --> 00:26:14,616
It has gone from an apartment
350
00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:19,447
to this very intense car ride.
351
00:26:25,845 --> 00:26:27,194
We stopped in Paris.
352
00:26:27,194 --> 00:26:29,805
Got incredibly stoned
for a couple of days.
353
00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:34,897
But our aim
is to get to Tangier.
354
00:26:36,812 --> 00:26:38,118
And then one day,
355
00:26:38,771 --> 00:26:42,296
Brian falls incredibly ill.
356
00:26:44,385 --> 00:26:46,082
He was very asthmatic
357
00:26:46,082 --> 00:26:47,910
but I don't think it
was asthma.
358
00:26:48,171 --> 00:26:51,348
Brian, sometimes,
he takes so much shit
359
00:26:51,348 --> 00:26:55,570
that he just needed to be
revamped a few days
360
00:26:55,570 --> 00:26:56,745
in machinery.
361
00:26:58,268 --> 00:27:01,794
And the decision
was to leave him there.
362
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:09,628
I presumed that Anita
would stay with Brian,
363
00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:15,111
so I was very surprised
the next day
364
00:27:15,111 --> 00:27:17,810
when Anita's going, "Let's go."
365
00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:24,251
And now there were two.
366
00:27:31,475 --> 00:27:34,087
At first, I felt bad
leaving Brian behind.
367
00:27:35,566 --> 00:27:38,265
But then it was a relief.
368
00:27:41,224 --> 00:27:42,835
I knew my way around Europe.
369
00:27:43,139 --> 00:27:44,663
I felt more in control.
370
00:27:52,583 --> 00:27:56,326
Keith and I smoked hash,
big spliffs and poppers.
371
00:27:58,764 --> 00:28:00,679
And we played songs,
372
00:28:01,201 --> 00:28:04,073
a secretive communication
with records.
373
00:28:13,039 --> 00:28:14,693
I couldn't hide it.
374
00:28:15,606 --> 00:28:20,307
I found him very attractive,
very sexy.
375
00:28:36,062 --> 00:28:38,978
My night with Keith
was a revelation,
376
00:28:40,109 --> 00:28:42,808
to have someone loving
and tender.
377
00:28:45,636 --> 00:28:49,075
He'd look at me
and I'd melt inside.
378
00:28:57,518 --> 00:29:00,216
The next day, we tried
to pretend it didn't happen.
379
00:29:02,131 --> 00:29:03,916
We had to be really careful.
380
00:29:04,481 --> 00:29:07,354
If Brian found out,
he would kill us.
381
00:29:22,412 --> 00:29:25,241
Suddenly, Anita,
from just being
382
00:29:25,241 --> 00:29:26,895
this... I don't know.
383
00:29:26,895 --> 00:29:30,812
To me, at the time,
a very confusing situation,
384
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:32,205
made everything clear.
385
00:29:35,599 --> 00:29:37,993
I was bursting in love
with Anita.
386
00:29:41,997 --> 00:29:43,694
Her independence,
387
00:29:44,086 --> 00:29:47,524
her absolute determination
to be
388
00:29:47,829 --> 00:29:49,570
whatever you'd so-call "free."
389
00:29:53,704 --> 00:29:55,968
It bewildered me to start with.
390
00:29:56,925 --> 00:29:58,753
And then I started to realize
391
00:29:58,753 --> 00:30:02,365
that both of us
were these war babies, you see?
392
00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:08,850
The war permeated
your whole upbringing.
393
00:30:13,202 --> 00:30:16,292
Anita just wanted
to fucking kick it all over.
394
00:30:24,910 --> 00:30:27,347
But then by the time
we got to Marrakesh,
395
00:30:27,738 --> 00:30:29,828
Brian has rejoined us.
396
00:30:31,133 --> 00:30:33,353
Now it's getting complicated.
397
00:30:37,139 --> 00:30:39,185
Brian didn't finish
his treatment.
398
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:43,450
Everyone was on edge.
399
00:30:47,062 --> 00:30:49,108
That night,
he picked up two prostitutes
400
00:30:49,108 --> 00:30:50,631
and told me to join in.
401
00:30:52,459 --> 00:30:53,590
I refused.
402
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:59,727
He ordered room service
and started throwing it at me.
403
00:31:01,685 --> 00:31:04,558
Silver, cutlery, glasses.
404
00:31:05,559 --> 00:31:06,908
I was terrified.
405
00:31:11,347 --> 00:31:12,958
And that's when Keith arrived.
406
00:31:15,961 --> 00:31:18,833
He said,
"We can't go on like this."
407
00:31:20,617 --> 00:31:21,749
"Let's split."
408
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,583
I can remember
our trip back to London.
409
00:31:32,194 --> 00:31:33,892
It wasn't a lover's escape.
410
00:31:38,984 --> 00:31:40,159
I was a wreck.
411
00:31:43,249 --> 00:31:44,903
We just abandoned Brian.
412
00:31:46,252 --> 00:31:47,818
We left without telling him.
413
00:31:49,211 --> 00:31:51,605
But I couldn't take it anymore.
414
00:32:11,059 --> 00:32:13,627
reporter:
415
00:32:18,327 --> 00:32:20,025
When the picture was finished,
416
00:32:20,547 --> 00:32:23,898
we had the premier
at the Cannes Film Festival.
417
00:32:24,768 --> 00:32:27,989
- reporter:
- Yeah.
418
00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:29,382
reporter:
419
00:32:32,907 --> 00:32:36,345
reporter 2:
420
00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:49,793
[in English] At first,
Anita was camera shy.
421
00:32:50,577 --> 00:32:52,753
And then quite the opposite.
422
00:32:53,014 --> 00:32:54,973
She loved it.
423
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:57,627
man:
424
00:33:00,239 --> 00:33:02,806
She did all kind of clowning
425
00:33:02,806 --> 00:33:04,460
for the photographers
426
00:33:04,460 --> 00:33:06,941
and enjoyed the whole circus.
427
00:33:12,729 --> 00:33:16,124
To walk down the red carpet
and all the glamour,
428
00:33:16,124 --> 00:33:17,778
it was fantastic.
429
00:33:19,171 --> 00:33:21,695
There was all of the entourage.
430
00:33:22,913 --> 00:33:24,524
Keith, Stash,
431
00:33:25,742 --> 00:33:27,309
a whole bunch of people,
432
00:33:27,309 --> 00:33:30,486
all dressed
in the most extravagant ways.
433
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,662
man 1: Say something.
Say something groovy.
434
00:33:32,662 --> 00:33:35,404
- man 2: Say something groovy.
- Wow.
435
00:33:35,404 --> 00:33:37,102
- man 1: Oh, wow.
- man 2: Oh, wow.
436
00:33:38,364 --> 00:33:43,195
But also, of course,
as the composer of the movie,
437
00:33:43,543 --> 00:33:45,240
Brian was there.
438
00:33:48,852 --> 00:33:51,203
I found myself
in this position
439
00:33:51,203 --> 00:33:53,596
of having to go to Cannes
with Brian,
440
00:33:53,596 --> 00:33:55,294
who otherwise wouldn't go.
441
00:33:55,946 --> 00:34:00,038
Brian had an unspoken mission
to get Anita back.
442
00:34:01,213 --> 00:34:03,171
He was very contrite.
443
00:34:03,737 --> 00:34:08,220
He realized that he did
absolutely everything wrong
444
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:10,874
during the Morocco incident.
445
00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:14,835
Anita was very kind.
446
00:34:14,835 --> 00:34:17,098
And, you know,
she could have hardened
447
00:34:17,098 --> 00:34:19,144
and said, "I refuse to see you."
448
00:34:19,883 --> 00:34:22,190
She was very tender.
449
00:34:30,024 --> 00:34:31,460
After the premier,
450
00:34:31,721 --> 00:34:34,768
we had a wild night
of celebration.
451
00:34:36,857 --> 00:34:40,817
Everybody got stone drunk
and stoned otherwise
452
00:34:40,817 --> 00:34:43,559
and falling all over
each other.
453
00:34:45,909 --> 00:34:49,130
She was the queen of the group,
and that, she enjoyed.
454
00:34:53,308 --> 00:34:55,658
The day after,
late in the morning,
455
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:59,575
I come into Anita's room
in the hotel,
456
00:34:59,923 --> 00:35:02,317
and there was Keith
having breakfast in bed.
457
00:35:03,797 --> 00:35:06,539
All I went was, "Uh-uh."
458
00:35:10,020 --> 00:35:14,590
I never really understood
quite what she saw in me.
459
00:35:18,377 --> 00:35:19,856
For some reason,
460
00:35:19,856 --> 00:35:21,815
she found me as mysterious
461
00:35:21,815 --> 00:35:23,904
and as attractive
as I found her,
462
00:35:26,776 --> 00:35:28,343
which is just incredible.
463
00:35:39,615 --> 00:35:41,922
reporter:
464
00:35:49,582 --> 00:35:51,279
It was a different kind of love
465
00:35:51,279 --> 00:35:52,846
than I was used to
466
00:35:52,846 --> 00:35:55,370
and it was a good time
in my life.
467
00:35:59,853 --> 00:36:01,463
Keith was still shy.
468
00:36:01,463 --> 00:36:02,856
That's just his nature.
469
00:36:05,424 --> 00:36:08,253
I brought him out
with my Italian energy.
470
00:36:13,083 --> 00:36:15,390
Back then,
he looked like a lion,
471
00:36:15,695 --> 00:36:18,306
all natural and never
more cool.
472
00:36:23,659 --> 00:36:25,400
I was considered,
for a while,
473
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,577
to be like the best dressed man
in the world.
474
00:36:28,577 --> 00:36:31,885
It was because I was wearing
Anita's clothes.
475
00:36:32,973 --> 00:36:35,018
She had an amazing eye.
476
00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:38,544
She was the leader
in fashion.
477
00:36:39,458 --> 00:36:43,113
Since Keith went with Anita,
he changed the way of dressing.
478
00:36:43,766 --> 00:36:46,073
It really changed. Fantastic.
479
00:36:46,378 --> 00:36:48,162
You see Anita on Keith.
480
00:36:53,776 --> 00:36:56,388
Anita is a charger.
She really charges you.
481
00:37:00,783 --> 00:37:02,089
When I think about it,
482
00:37:02,089 --> 00:37:04,352
in those early days,
it was fun.
483
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:08,922
The Stones would play a town.
484
00:37:08,922 --> 00:37:10,576
Then I'd fly to meet them.
485
00:37:11,098 --> 00:37:12,534
Then I'd fly home again.
486
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:20,803
You know, Brian always
carried a torch for Anita
487
00:37:21,151 --> 00:37:23,241
long after it was
488
00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:25,678
proven that they couldn't
get back together.
489
00:37:28,898 --> 00:37:30,465
But I think by then,
490
00:37:30,987 --> 00:37:35,078
Keith was much more confident
of his relationship with her.
491
00:37:40,432 --> 00:37:45,001
Don't you find respectable
people terribly dull?
492
00:37:45,001 --> 00:37:46,394
You're joking, aren't you?
493
00:37:46,394 --> 00:37:48,918
I've only known
the most respectable people.
494
00:37:49,310 --> 00:37:50,355
Oh.
495
00:37:51,573 --> 00:37:53,401
My career was taking off.
496
00:37:54,010 --> 00:37:57,449
I was consumed by
Marlene Dietrich, Fritz Lang,
497
00:37:57,753 --> 00:37:59,015
and all the classics.
498
00:38:00,103 --> 00:38:01,279
This is Krankeit,
499
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,237
I want you now. Come.
500
00:38:05,631 --> 00:38:07,110
He wants me.
501
00:38:07,894 --> 00:38:09,504
I was working a lot.
502
00:38:10,375 --> 00:38:12,377
Mostly in European films.
503
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,336
Pretty avant-garde
movie-making.
504
00:38:15,858 --> 00:38:17,817
The doctor says no touching.
505
00:38:18,557 --> 00:38:19,645
Disappointed?
506
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,911
She was a very
talented actress.
507
00:38:27,217 --> 00:38:30,133
She had a great career
ahead of her.
508
00:38:35,922 --> 00:38:37,837
Hello, pretty, pretty.
509
00:38:41,188 --> 00:38:42,232
Hello.
510
00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:45,801
I played a tyrant
in Barbarella.
511
00:38:46,236 --> 00:38:48,108
My idea of a quiet summer.
512
00:38:48,587 --> 00:38:50,589
Do you want to come
and play with me?
513
00:38:52,155 --> 00:38:54,506
For someone like you,
I'd charge nothing.
514
00:38:55,681 --> 00:38:57,944
You're very pretty,
pretty, pretty.
515
00:38:58,858 --> 00:39:01,208
My name isn't Pretty, Pretty.
It's Barbarella.
516
00:39:05,691 --> 00:39:06,866
producer: Start.
517
00:39:08,128 --> 00:39:10,217
I was on the set
once or twice.
518
00:39:11,827 --> 00:39:15,614
Jane Fonda was the exact
opposite of Anita.
519
00:39:16,876 --> 00:39:20,880
Both incredibly good-looking
with personality
520
00:39:21,794 --> 00:39:26,276
but Jane Fonda,
a hard worker, very driven.
521
00:39:27,147 --> 00:39:29,105
And Anita just laid-back,
522
00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:32,718
but since she was intelligent,
she got away with it.
523
00:39:33,849 --> 00:39:36,722
Tell me, my fancy, fuzzy freak.
524
00:39:37,636 --> 00:39:41,074
What do think of when
you make love to Barbarella?
525
00:39:45,121 --> 00:39:47,341
Anita, in those costumes,
526
00:39:47,341 --> 00:39:49,952
she completely forgot herself.
527
00:39:50,475 --> 00:39:52,999
So I'm your little
one-eyed wench.
528
00:39:54,174 --> 00:39:56,655
I'm also The Great Tyrant.
529
00:39:57,525 --> 00:39:58,657
That's nice.
530
00:39:58,961 --> 00:40:01,268
So she became very imperious.
531
00:40:01,268 --> 00:40:04,532
I'm not talking about him.
I'm speaking of the angel.
532
00:40:05,098 --> 00:40:07,187
I suppose
it was method acting.
533
00:40:07,927 --> 00:40:10,799
She really believed
she was the Black Queen.
534
00:40:12,932 --> 00:40:15,413
I would fear for anybody
that crossed her.
535
00:40:17,937 --> 00:40:19,199
I remember once,
536
00:40:19,634 --> 00:40:22,245
I happened to say,
"Oh, that's nice."
537
00:40:22,942 --> 00:40:26,119
And she turned on me, "Nice?"
538
00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:29,383
"Nice? I hate the word nice."
539
00:40:40,916 --> 00:40:46,400
photographer:
540
00:40:50,622 --> 00:40:52,754
People started
treating me like a star
541
00:40:53,233 --> 00:40:54,713
and I kind of loved it.
542
00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:58,064
But whatever fame I had,
543
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:00,762
it was nothing
compared to The Stones.
544
00:41:00,762 --> 00:41:02,764
man:
545
00:41:22,915 --> 00:41:24,786
I was producing the film
546
00:41:24,786 --> 00:41:26,222
for Warner Bros
547
00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:27,963
called Performance.
548
00:41:28,921 --> 00:41:30,705
Very unusual movie.
549
00:41:32,315 --> 00:41:33,926
That's how I met Anita.
550
00:41:35,188 --> 00:41:37,495
She was always gonna be
in the film.
551
00:41:38,060 --> 00:41:40,106
It was written for her.
552
00:41:41,150 --> 00:41:45,067
She had a very kind of incisive
and biting sense of humor.
553
00:41:46,025 --> 00:41:48,070
She got right to the point,
you know?
554
00:41:48,070 --> 00:41:50,116
Who are you? What do you want?
555
00:41:56,514 --> 00:42:00,039
The script
was very decadent, very sexy.
556
00:42:01,780 --> 00:42:04,086
When I heard Mick
was going to join the cast,
557
00:42:04,434 --> 00:42:05,566
I was wary.
558
00:42:06,306 --> 00:42:08,961
It all felt a little too close.
559
00:42:16,055 --> 00:42:17,578
Mick's character
560
00:42:17,926 --> 00:42:20,712
is a retired
rock and roll musician.
561
00:42:21,756 --> 00:42:23,149
He is a recluse,
562
00:42:23,584 --> 00:42:27,762
living in a kind of ramshackle
home in Notting Hill.
563
00:42:28,633 --> 00:42:30,939
He's got
his two girlfriends there,
564
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,812
sort of ministering
to his needs.
565
00:42:34,377 --> 00:42:36,031
Do you think
I should wash my hair?
566
00:42:36,945 --> 00:42:38,381
Uh-uh. No.
567
00:42:38,860 --> 00:42:41,907
They're very happy
together as a family.
568
00:42:43,648 --> 00:42:46,781
They don't want
the outside world to come in.
569
00:42:50,437 --> 00:42:52,308
That is what happens,
of course,
570
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:55,007
when James Fox
arrives in the house.
571
00:42:55,790 --> 00:42:57,444
He is the outside world.
572
00:42:58,053 --> 00:42:59,794
Oh, very nice.
573
00:43:02,101 --> 00:43:03,319
And that sets up
574
00:43:03,319 --> 00:43:06,627
this very powerful
strange relationship
575
00:43:06,627 --> 00:43:08,368
between the characters
in the house.
576
00:43:10,326 --> 00:43:11,632
What's wrong with the lights?
577
00:43:11,632 --> 00:43:14,853
Yeah. Artificial energy.
578
00:43:15,244 --> 00:43:17,333
It's pulsating into the voltage.
579
00:43:18,334 --> 00:43:20,075
Drugs were
the ultimate rebellion.
580
00:43:20,467 --> 00:43:22,251
And they were
everywhere on set.
581
00:43:23,122 --> 00:43:26,212
Not just the old hippy variety
of hashish and acid.
582
00:43:27,648 --> 00:43:30,172
We were doing cocaine
and heroin.
583
00:43:34,350 --> 00:43:36,309
James Fox
was a professional actor
584
00:43:36,309 --> 00:43:38,267
and we were intimidated by him.
585
00:43:40,705 --> 00:43:42,358
You know where I'm going, pal?
586
00:43:45,753 --> 00:43:46,798
I do.
587
00:43:49,714 --> 00:43:51,977
Like children,
we teased him.
588
00:43:54,109 --> 00:43:56,198
You never had a female feel.
589
00:43:57,504 --> 00:43:58,810
No. Never.
590
00:43:59,332 --> 00:44:00,550
I feel like a man.
591
00:44:01,334 --> 00:44:02,683
A man all the time.
592
00:44:03,553 --> 00:44:04,816
That's awful.
593
00:44:05,164 --> 00:44:06,600
He almost flipped out.
594
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,210
There's nothing wrong with me.
595
00:44:09,342 --> 00:44:10,648
I'm normal.
596
00:44:11,823 --> 00:44:14,434
That brought Mick and I
closer together.
597
00:44:14,695 --> 00:44:17,393
Uh, can I use
the blower up here?
598
00:44:18,003 --> 00:44:19,613
We ain't got a blower up here.
599
00:44:21,963 --> 00:44:24,792
What in God's name
has he done to his hair?
600
00:44:26,011 --> 00:44:28,883
We've seen it. We caught it
in Hamburg. Your act.
601
00:44:28,883 --> 00:44:30,363
- Oh, yeah.
- It was fascinating.
602
00:44:30,363 --> 00:44:32,495
Mick had never done
a movie before
603
00:44:32,495 --> 00:44:34,193
and he liked my confidence.
604
00:44:35,368 --> 00:44:37,326
We were spending
more time together,
605
00:44:37,718 --> 00:44:38,980
me and Mick.
606
00:44:39,764 --> 00:44:40,808
Yes, no?
607
00:44:41,156 --> 00:44:42,244
Yes, no.
608
00:44:55,997 --> 00:44:57,129
The funny thing is,
609
00:44:57,129 --> 00:44:59,044
I never really
fancied Mick at all,
610
00:45:00,828 --> 00:45:04,136
but you spend eight days
lying in bed together,
611
00:45:04,136 --> 00:45:08,009
giggling and taking dope just
to produce two minutes of film,
612
00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:10,490
and what the hell
do you expect?
613
00:45:15,495 --> 00:45:17,062
Performance was replicating
614
00:45:17,062 --> 00:45:18,585
the feeling of that time.
615
00:45:19,804 --> 00:45:22,545
Sex was something
much more casual.
616
00:45:23,590 --> 00:45:26,767
Something that you did
without any commitment.
617
00:45:30,466 --> 00:45:36,168
All of us could see Mick
had fallen in love with Anita.
618
00:45:38,083 --> 00:45:41,869
He hadn't declared it
but it was so obvious.
619
00:45:46,961 --> 00:45:48,049
Salud.
620
00:45:52,358 --> 00:45:56,971
When Anita and Mick
did Performance,
621
00:45:57,406 --> 00:45:59,887
I knew I had to leave town.
622
00:46:00,148 --> 00:46:02,760
I knew I wouldn't be able
to handle it.
623
00:46:05,284 --> 00:46:07,982
I know Keith
had a very difficult time.
624
00:46:09,679 --> 00:46:11,290
woman:
625
00:46:14,162 --> 00:46:16,904
Well, I'm making
this while he's making that.
626
00:46:21,909 --> 00:46:23,781
It upset him terribly.
627
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:31,527
He filmed himself on the outside
looking in
628
00:46:31,832 --> 00:46:34,748
at the most important people
in his life.
629
00:46:41,276 --> 00:46:43,409
It was very difficult for him.
630
00:46:45,672 --> 00:46:50,068
How Keith responds is he writes
"Gimme Shelter."
631
00:46:52,026 --> 00:46:55,334
♪ Ooh, a storm is threatening
632
00:46:55,987 --> 00:46:59,120
♪ My very life today
633
00:47:00,078 --> 00:47:03,559
♪ If I don't get some shelter
634
00:47:04,517 --> 00:47:07,085
♪ Ooh yeah,
I'm gonna fade away ♪
635
00:47:08,173 --> 00:47:11,176
♪ War, children
636
00:47:11,959 --> 00:47:13,700
♪ It's just a shot away
637
00:47:14,135 --> 00:47:15,920
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
638
00:47:16,181 --> 00:47:19,010
♪ War, children ♪
639
00:47:20,011 --> 00:47:21,751
♪ It's just a shot away
640
00:47:22,056 --> 00:47:25,364
♪ It's just a shot away ♪
641
00:47:27,975 --> 00:47:29,498
Keith never spoke about it.
642
00:47:30,804 --> 00:47:32,240
He just stayed silent.
643
00:47:33,372 --> 00:47:35,678
The most unnerving reaction
of all.
644
00:47:37,724 --> 00:47:39,900
I was relieved
when the film ended.
645
00:47:41,162 --> 00:47:44,252
I never felt Mick's charm
the way other women did.
646
00:47:45,558 --> 00:47:48,648
In any case, all we ever talked
about was Keith.
647
00:48:02,009 --> 00:48:04,925
We were never peace
and love kind of people.
648
00:48:06,579 --> 00:48:08,624
But we wanted
to reassure each other
649
00:48:08,624 --> 00:48:10,583
that everything was okay.
650
00:48:11,323 --> 00:48:13,716
So we decided to take
a trip together.
651
00:48:14,108 --> 00:48:16,632
Mick, Marianne, Keith, and I.
652
00:48:21,986 --> 00:48:23,988
Crossing the Atlantic
on a freighter,
653
00:48:24,379 --> 00:48:26,555
we must have seemed
pretty eccentric
654
00:48:26,555 --> 00:48:28,035
to the people on the ship.
655
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:43,137
We had great outfits
for strolling down the decks.
656
00:48:49,796 --> 00:48:53,843
Beautiful Marianne was always
dressed top to toe.
657
00:48:54,757 --> 00:48:59,762
Long gloves, hat, she was like
a Tennessee Williams character.
658
00:49:08,597 --> 00:49:10,991
And I was pregnant.
659
00:49:17,606 --> 00:49:20,740
The last thing I expected
from this relationship
660
00:49:20,740 --> 00:49:22,611
at that point was
661
00:49:22,611 --> 00:49:25,788
that she actually wanted
to have a child.
662
00:49:29,053 --> 00:49:33,622
I was flattered
but at the same time, I thought
663
00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:37,365
"This is gonna be
a whole new chapter, you know?"
664
00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:41,935
And I said,
"Are you sure about this?"
665
00:49:42,936 --> 00:49:45,678
And she said,
"Absolutely. Absolutely."
666
00:49:46,157 --> 00:49:49,725
"If I'm gonna have a baby,
I want you to be the father."
667
00:49:51,162 --> 00:49:54,600
And I said, "Okay. Then
we're in for it. Let's go."
668
00:50:02,216 --> 00:50:05,045
I knew it was time
to get off the hard drugs.
669
00:50:06,612 --> 00:50:08,962
To help, I got a shot
of morphine
670
00:50:08,962 --> 00:50:10,050
from the ship's nurse.
671
00:50:11,878 --> 00:50:14,011
♪ Here I lie
672
00:50:15,099 --> 00:50:19,320
♪ In my hospital bed
673
00:50:22,410 --> 00:50:26,023
♪ Tell me, Sister Morphine
674
00:50:27,067 --> 00:50:31,985
♪ When are you
Coming round again? ♪
675
00:50:33,465 --> 00:50:34,509
♪ Oh...
676
00:50:35,336 --> 00:50:38,774
I thought of her as
Sister Morphine for the song.
677
00:50:39,558 --> 00:50:41,777
I made her into
Sister Morphine.
678
00:50:41,777 --> 00:50:46,086
I had to visualize it
to really write it, you know?
679
00:50:46,086 --> 00:50:47,870
♪ Oh, you see
680
00:50:48,828 --> 00:50:54,442
♪ That my pain is so strong
681
00:50:55,226 --> 00:50:58,577
Between Marianne and I,
there was love.
682
00:51:01,145 --> 00:51:04,017
But her relationship with Mick
wasn't working anymore.
683
00:51:11,024 --> 00:51:12,765
When we arrived
in Brazil,
684
00:51:13,113 --> 00:51:16,595
Marianne didn't like the heat
or the mosquitoes.
685
00:51:17,813 --> 00:51:19,032
She decided to go home.
686
00:51:22,166 --> 00:51:24,429
You know,
it broke my heart to do that
687
00:51:24,777 --> 00:51:26,257
but I had to leave.
688
00:51:27,823 --> 00:51:29,521
I think it was inevitable.
689
00:51:33,394 --> 00:51:35,135
Although I did love Mick,
690
00:51:35,962 --> 00:51:39,270
we were completely unsuited,
I'm afraid.
691
00:51:50,063 --> 00:51:53,110
Mick and Keith and I
pressed on to Peru.
692
00:51:58,027 --> 00:52:00,204
We had a suitcase full of money
693
00:52:00,204 --> 00:52:03,685
and we wanted to be far,
far away from everybody.
694
00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:10,518
♪ I saw her today
At the reception ♪
695
00:52:10,518 --> 00:52:13,173
Mick tried to catch me
on my own sometimes...
696
00:52:13,173 --> 00:52:14,696
♪ A glass of wine...
697
00:52:14,696 --> 00:52:16,742
...when Keith was drunk
and passed out.
698
00:52:17,308 --> 00:52:19,223
He'd say we should
run off together.
699
00:52:20,963 --> 00:52:22,878
But his flirtations
were half-hearted
700
00:52:22,878 --> 00:52:24,532
because he knew I was pregnant.
701
00:52:25,490 --> 00:52:27,318
That's when he started to write
702
00:52:27,796 --> 00:52:29,929
"You Can't Always Get
What You Want."
703
00:52:29,929 --> 00:52:34,063
♪ You can't always get
What you want ♪
704
00:52:35,717 --> 00:52:40,069
♪ You can't always get
What you want ♪
705
00:52:41,549 --> 00:52:46,380
♪ But if you try sometimes
Well, you might find ♪
706
00:52:46,815 --> 00:52:49,166
♪ You get what you need ♪
707
00:52:49,427 --> 00:52:52,125
♪ Ah, yeah ♪
708
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:55,781
Anita is in a lot
of those songs. Absolutely.
709
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,308
♪ And I went down
To the demonstration ♪
710
00:53:01,308 --> 00:53:03,528
She's a muse, I'm sure,
though not just for me.
711
00:53:03,528 --> 00:53:06,357
I mean, for several other
songwriters
712
00:53:06,357 --> 00:53:08,185
that I can think of.
713
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:09,751
♪ Sing it to me, honey
714
00:53:09,751 --> 00:53:13,494
♪ You can't always get
What you want ♪
715
00:53:15,017 --> 00:53:18,151
♪ You can't always get
What you want ♪
716
00:53:18,151 --> 00:53:20,632
There always has to be
some kind of friction
717
00:53:20,632 --> 00:53:21,807
between Keith and Mick.
718
00:53:23,069 --> 00:53:24,505
And they need someone
in the middle
719
00:53:24,505 --> 00:53:25,854
to bring it all out.
720
00:53:27,508 --> 00:53:29,206
Brian used to say that too.
721
00:53:30,598 --> 00:53:32,818
♪ You get what you need
722
00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:37,605
♪ Ah baby, yeah ♪
723
00:53:58,278 --> 00:54:01,368
He came close to the edge
many times.
724
00:54:02,674 --> 00:54:04,632
Who didn't in our group?
725
00:54:08,114 --> 00:54:13,641
But the loss of Brian,
it was a dreadful tragedy.
726
00:54:17,079 --> 00:54:20,213
People think of Brian
as a sort of ghost,
727
00:54:21,606 --> 00:54:24,652
but he had his own
728
00:54:24,652 --> 00:54:27,438
extraordinary outstanding
talent.
729
00:54:31,703 --> 00:54:33,922
Although,
he was a very good swimmer,
730
00:54:34,314 --> 00:54:38,100
he had taken a lot of Mandrax
before he went in the pool.
731
00:54:39,667 --> 00:54:43,280
And Brian was very weak,
physically, anyway.
732
00:54:47,849 --> 00:54:51,592
Poor Brian. I felt very sorry.
733
00:54:53,594 --> 00:54:56,075
Although it was a shock
when it actually happened,
734
00:54:56,728 --> 00:54:59,121
nobody was really
that surprised too.
735
00:54:59,557 --> 00:55:01,907
There are people...
I'm sure that everybody's got
736
00:55:01,907 --> 00:55:03,300
those things
about certain people.
737
00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:05,519
- Everybody knows people that...
- woman: Mm-hmm.
738
00:55:05,519 --> 00:55:07,042
...you just have that feeling
739
00:55:07,042 --> 00:55:10,045
that they're not gonna be
70 years old ever, you know?
740
00:55:10,045 --> 00:55:12,787
That not everybody makes it,
you know?
741
00:55:17,357 --> 00:55:20,621
I was shocked
and I felt guilty.
742
00:55:22,231 --> 00:55:25,626
He just kind of flickered out
like a light, you know?
743
00:55:29,717 --> 00:55:31,153
The last time I'd seen Brian
744
00:55:31,153 --> 00:55:33,373
was when we were all
singing together on the demo
745
00:55:33,373 --> 00:55:35,027
for "Sympathy for the Devil."
746
00:55:36,855 --> 00:55:38,987
♪ When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank ♪
747
00:55:39,423 --> 00:55:41,425
But I hadn't really
spoken to him since.
748
00:55:41,773 --> 00:55:43,383
♪ Pleased to meet you all ♪
749
00:55:43,905 --> 00:55:48,170
♪ Hope you guess my name
Oh yeah ♪
750
00:55:49,389 --> 00:55:52,784
After he died,
she went kind of mad
751
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:57,963
and she spent all her time
putting pictures up of Brian
752
00:55:58,267 --> 00:56:00,618
in the house
she shared with Keith
753
00:56:00,618 --> 00:56:02,663
and then taking them
all down again
754
00:56:02,924 --> 00:56:05,013
and then putting them
all up again.
755
00:56:06,624 --> 00:56:08,756
♪ I shouted out
Who killed the Kennedys? ♪
756
00:56:09,801 --> 00:56:11,890
I was seven months
pregnant when he died.
757
00:56:15,763 --> 00:56:17,199
I started to have visions
758
00:56:17,199 --> 00:56:20,289
that Brian would reincarnate
himself as my baby.
759
00:56:25,686 --> 00:56:27,253
It was very scary.
760
00:56:33,651 --> 00:56:37,219
My son was born in August 1969.
761
00:56:39,134 --> 00:56:43,400
He was a perfect
eight-pound baby. Healthy.
762
00:56:44,792 --> 00:56:47,012
We didn't have a name
and Keith said,
763
00:56:47,012 --> 00:56:49,057
"Marlon Brando
called up today."
764
00:56:49,318 --> 00:56:52,234
And I thought, "Marlon.
That's a good name."
765
00:56:52,626 --> 00:56:53,975
"We'll call him Marlon."
766
00:56:58,545 --> 00:57:03,420
♪ Hey, babe
What's in your eyes? ♪
767
00:57:04,159 --> 00:57:09,164
♪ I saw them flashing
Like airplane lights ♪
768
00:57:09,817 --> 00:57:13,908
♪ You fill my cup, babe
That's for sure ♪
769
00:57:13,908 --> 00:57:15,388
Somewhere around there,
770
00:57:15,736 --> 00:57:20,567
Keith wrote on the spot
"You Got the Silver"
771
00:57:21,046 --> 00:57:22,569
and then sang it to her.
772
00:57:22,830 --> 00:57:24,528
And it was so beautiful.
773
00:57:25,703 --> 00:57:27,400
They really did
love each other.
774
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:31,665
♪ You got my heart
You got my soul ♪
775
00:57:32,274 --> 00:57:36,801
♪ You got the silver
You got the gold ♪
776
00:57:37,932 --> 00:57:42,110
♪ You got the diamonds
From the mine ♪
777
00:57:42,589 --> 00:57:43,851
♪ Well, that's all right... ♪
778
00:57:44,112 --> 00:57:46,114
Keith was very tender
with Marlon.
779
00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:49,422
He would change him,
take him for walks,
780
00:57:49,814 --> 00:57:52,773
things that fathers
didn't always do in those days.
781
00:58:01,390 --> 00:58:04,306
Things were pretty rosy
for about three months,
782
00:58:05,220 --> 00:58:06,918
then Keith went back on tour.
783
00:58:09,529 --> 00:58:13,925
Marlon was too tiny to travel,
so we stayed behind.
784
00:58:16,057 --> 00:58:17,624
By this point,
Keith didn't care
785
00:58:17,624 --> 00:58:19,017
for me acting at all.
786
00:58:19,713 --> 00:58:22,194
He offered me money
to stop working.
787
00:58:23,151 --> 00:58:25,632
He didn't understand
it wasn't about the money.
788
00:58:26,328 --> 00:58:28,461
It was just something
I wanted to do.
789
00:58:30,202 --> 00:58:33,510
Keith, in his own way,
is very possessive
790
00:58:34,075 --> 00:58:35,729
of friends and lovers.
791
00:58:36,469 --> 00:58:40,821
He resented anything that would
take her away from him.
792
00:58:43,215 --> 00:58:46,131
He didn't want
his woman to work at all.
793
00:58:46,131 --> 00:58:49,351
It wasn't acting, particularly,
it would have been anything.
794
00:58:51,266 --> 00:58:53,486
And I think
it was difficult for Anita.
795
00:58:53,834 --> 00:58:56,489
She was so talented
in her own right
796
00:58:57,098 --> 00:59:00,362
and sort of kept down in a way,
you know?
797
00:59:07,500 --> 00:59:12,113
Honestly, I was confused.
I felt betrayed.
798
00:59:14,028 --> 00:59:18,076
But the rule with the boys
was "never show emotion."
799
00:59:22,646 --> 00:59:26,258
Heroin makes you feel warm,
like you belong.
800
00:59:27,259 --> 00:59:28,913
It seemed like a solution.
801
00:59:36,007 --> 00:59:38,966
I was on my own
with Marlon for months.
802
00:59:39,837 --> 00:59:43,101
I stopped breastfeeding
and I gave him bottles.
803
00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:47,322
When Keith came back,
I was very stoned.
804
00:59:52,719 --> 00:59:56,462
I went to dry out at a clinic
where they do a sleeping cure.
805
00:59:59,117 --> 01:00:02,729
You talk to a therapist
and then they knock you out.
806
01:00:03,034 --> 01:00:04,426
You sleep it off.
807
01:00:07,342 --> 01:00:09,649
I wanted so much to get better.
808
01:00:10,563 --> 01:00:12,260
I wanted to be a good mother.
809
01:00:13,958 --> 01:00:15,263
But it didn't work.
810
01:00:18,527 --> 01:00:22,444
I spent a week banging my head
against the walls.
811
01:00:25,491 --> 01:00:27,711
Eventually,
I climbed out the window.
812
01:00:29,321 --> 01:00:30,714
The great escape.
813
01:00:36,284 --> 01:00:37,895
While I was trying to get well,
814
01:00:37,895 --> 01:00:40,332
Marlon and Keith
had gone to France.
815
01:00:41,986 --> 01:00:44,553
The Rolling Stones
had tax problems,
816
01:00:45,424 --> 01:00:47,644
and we all became exiles.
817
01:00:49,036 --> 01:00:51,691
Our new house was right
on the Mediterranean
818
01:00:52,170 --> 01:00:54,346
and the thought of starting
a new life together
819
01:00:54,346 --> 01:00:56,870
was very appealing.
820
01:00:58,698 --> 01:01:01,658
Then Keith decided to make
a record in our home.
821
01:01:08,577 --> 01:01:10,928
♪ I wanna tell you
'Bout a dance ♪
822
01:01:11,232 --> 01:01:13,234
♪ That's goin' around ♪
823
01:01:14,192 --> 01:01:16,498
Everyone wanted
to come and visit.
824
01:01:17,195 --> 01:01:19,240
We were inundated
with people arriving
825
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,155
to start work on the new album.
826
01:01:21,634 --> 01:01:23,941
♪ Don't move your hands ♪
827
01:01:24,289 --> 01:01:26,291
♪ Don't move your lips ♪
828
01:01:26,987 --> 01:01:29,120
♪ Just shake your hips ♪
829
01:01:29,598 --> 01:01:31,165
♪ Do the hip shake, babe ♪
830
01:01:31,165 --> 01:01:34,212
First time
I saw Anita with Marlon
831
01:01:34,212 --> 01:01:36,693
was in the south of France
832
01:01:36,954 --> 01:01:39,739
when they were doing
Exile on Main St.
833
01:01:39,739 --> 01:01:41,698
♪ Well, if you don't know ♪
834
01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:43,612
Anita adored Marlon.
835
01:01:44,091 --> 01:01:46,050
Such a sweet child.
836
01:01:47,225 --> 01:01:51,011
Keith had set up a studio
in the basement,
837
01:01:51,011 --> 01:01:52,883
and it was a zoo.
838
01:01:55,886 --> 01:01:59,237
There were dozens of people
hanging around,
839
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:02,719
taking drugs, doing whatever.
840
01:02:05,678 --> 01:02:07,767
You had no idea
who would be there
841
01:02:07,767 --> 01:02:10,248
and what state of mind
they'd be in.
842
01:02:12,816 --> 01:02:14,948
It's just a crazy atmosphere.
843
01:02:19,387 --> 01:02:21,868
I was the only one
who could speak French
844
01:02:22,216 --> 01:02:25,132
and I was over-responsible
for everything.
845
01:02:25,829 --> 01:02:27,569
It was like running a hotel.
846
01:02:28,570 --> 01:02:31,791
There were 20 to 30 people
to feed every day.
847
01:02:32,444 --> 01:02:34,359
Mommy, Daddy.
848
01:02:34,359 --> 01:02:36,970
Mommy.
849
01:02:37,318 --> 01:02:40,104
Follow me. Come with me.
850
01:02:41,975 --> 01:02:44,456
Marlon had all the toys
he wanted,
851
01:02:46,588 --> 01:02:48,939
but there was not
that much time for him.
852
01:02:52,116 --> 01:02:55,467
He had to be part of the music,
and he was.
853
01:02:59,123 --> 01:03:02,648
He'd be up all night sometimes
listening to people playing,
854
01:03:02,909 --> 01:03:04,302
and he'd be screaming.
855
01:03:08,045 --> 01:03:11,788
It took me a long time
but I think by then,
856
01:03:12,353 --> 01:03:14,791
I realized
that Keith's music came first.
857
01:03:15,487 --> 01:03:17,358
Everything else came second.
858
01:03:23,451 --> 01:03:26,672
We showed up at Nellcôte
in the summer of '71,
859
01:03:27,716 --> 01:03:29,153
I was eight and a half.
860
01:03:31,242 --> 01:03:32,721
My father was a drug smuggler
861
01:03:32,721 --> 01:03:35,202
and he was tasked
with bringing cocaine
862
01:03:35,202 --> 01:03:37,248
to Mick Jagger's wedding
to Bianca.
863
01:03:41,339 --> 01:03:43,471
My old man and Keith
864
01:03:43,471 --> 01:03:45,343
were all in the same
kind of scene,
865
01:03:45,343 --> 01:03:46,953
and my mother was
in that scene.
866
01:03:48,912 --> 01:03:50,696
Ultimately,
my mother didn't come
867
01:03:50,696 --> 01:03:52,480
because she was...
868
01:03:53,612 --> 01:03:57,442
recovering from a stint
in an asylum.
869
01:04:01,141 --> 01:04:03,056
I recognized, even as a kid,
870
01:04:03,056 --> 01:04:05,580
that Anita
was a force of nature,
871
01:04:06,581 --> 01:04:08,453
striking and charismatic.
872
01:04:09,976 --> 01:04:15,025
She was the alpha in the room
until Keith came along
873
01:04:15,025 --> 01:04:17,854
and then they were both
sort of co-alphas.
874
01:04:21,074 --> 01:04:22,902
Can you turn
the piano up just a bit?
875
01:04:22,902 --> 01:04:24,643
You know, just like the off...
876
01:04:25,165 --> 01:04:29,169
Charlie, did you get that?
We're gonna try that...
877
01:04:29,169 --> 01:04:31,258
Everything sort of
became nocturnal
878
01:04:31,258 --> 01:04:32,869
'cause Keith was nocturnal.
879
01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:35,132
man: Yeah, which amps
are you coming out of, Keith?
880
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:38,265
My brother and I
would sit down there and watch.
881
01:04:38,265 --> 01:04:39,788
man: So we listen to it.
882
01:04:41,355 --> 01:04:43,662
There's a broken string
on that one there, it has to...
883
01:04:43,662 --> 01:04:45,925
Everyone was just
sitting around a lot
884
01:04:46,186 --> 01:04:49,059
waiting for Keith to,
you know, come to.
885
01:04:51,670 --> 01:04:55,239
All right.
We're about to sing here.
886
01:04:59,417 --> 01:05:02,333
By now,
Keith had a heroin habit too.
887
01:05:03,116 --> 01:05:04,901
And he was secretive about it.
888
01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:06,772
It should be
down in there.
889
01:05:07,642 --> 01:05:09,296
He would go
into the bathroom
890
01:05:09,296 --> 01:05:10,428
and shut the door,
891
01:05:10,732 --> 01:05:12,909
so you never knew
how much he was taking.
892
01:05:17,087 --> 01:05:18,958
Keith would invite people over,
893
01:05:18,958 --> 01:05:20,568
and they'd stay all hours.
894
01:05:21,743 --> 01:05:24,050
And it was her job
to kick them out,
895
01:05:24,572 --> 01:05:26,748
throw them out violently.
896
01:05:26,748 --> 01:05:28,707
Generally,
she'd kind of storm in
897
01:05:28,707 --> 01:05:30,970
and throw her Germanness around
898
01:05:30,970 --> 01:05:32,580
and they'd leave pretty quickly
899
01:05:32,580 --> 01:05:34,234
'cause that was something
he couldn't do.
900
01:05:34,234 --> 01:05:35,801
He could not get rid
of the hangers-on.
901
01:05:37,672 --> 01:05:39,936
They were happy to sit there
and just sort of stare at him
902
01:05:41,546 --> 01:05:42,851
while he basically snored.
903
01:05:45,332 --> 01:05:47,639
Anita became a bit
of a bodyguard.
904
01:05:51,425 --> 01:05:53,688
I have no idea
what it felt like
905
01:05:53,688 --> 01:05:59,477
to be the queen in this castle
of, you know, dissolute men.
906
01:06:00,347 --> 01:06:02,523
But there weren't
a lot of women in the house.
907
01:06:04,612 --> 01:06:06,179
She couldn't stand it.
908
01:06:06,179 --> 01:06:08,007
She had to hold
the whole situation
909
01:06:08,007 --> 01:06:09,313
in her hands.
910
01:06:09,313 --> 01:06:11,663
And there were really
people around, I think,
911
01:06:11,663 --> 01:06:14,057
that must have been
very annoying for her.
912
01:06:14,057 --> 01:06:17,364
But that's the part
of being famous, no?
913
01:06:20,454 --> 01:06:22,674
She was fierce,
914
01:06:23,196 --> 01:06:25,982
and, you know, she would snap.
915
01:06:27,113 --> 01:06:28,419
But not at the kids.
916
01:06:29,681 --> 01:06:32,684
She was generous and funny
to the kids.
917
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,605
And then we were there
for a month and a half or so,
918
01:06:40,605 --> 01:06:42,259
and my mother passed away.
919
01:06:45,566 --> 01:06:47,612
My dad sort of went
on a bender.
920
01:06:50,267 --> 01:06:51,833
I remember her navigating it,
921
01:06:52,399 --> 01:06:55,533
trying to figure out
what she could do
922
01:06:56,316 --> 01:06:57,926
and, um...
923
01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:00,407
Fuck. I'm sorry.
924
01:07:03,410 --> 01:07:07,545
She filled the vacuum of
a surrogate parent, you know?
925
01:07:10,113 --> 01:07:11,723
And she was lovely like that.
926
01:07:13,986 --> 01:07:17,381
Her thing
was trying to give us joy.
927
01:07:23,213 --> 01:07:25,041
Anita used to dance
with the kids.
928
01:07:28,131 --> 01:07:30,046
We'd Jumpin' Jack Flash it.
929
01:07:32,178 --> 01:07:34,137
There was a lot of
boogie-woogie piano playing,
930
01:07:34,137 --> 01:07:35,660
which the kids loved.
931
01:07:37,140 --> 01:07:39,925
There were no bedtimes.
There was no structure.
932
01:07:45,278 --> 01:07:47,976
One night, she cut a line
933
01:07:49,630 --> 01:07:51,067
and I said, "Can I have some?"
934
01:07:52,416 --> 01:07:54,983
And I could see her
trying to compute.
935
01:07:55,636 --> 01:07:57,856
She said, "Okay.
Well, just this little bit."
936
01:07:58,378 --> 01:08:01,077
So I had my first little bump
with Anita.
937
01:08:03,601 --> 01:08:05,646
Uh, it never happened again.
938
01:08:06,691 --> 01:08:08,214
She knew she made a mistake.
939
01:08:11,522 --> 01:08:13,045
reporter:
In Nice, France, today,
940
01:08:13,045 --> 01:08:15,047
police disclosed
that Mick Jagger
941
01:08:15,047 --> 01:08:17,963
and the four other members of
The Rolling Stones rock group
942
01:08:17,963 --> 01:08:20,835
have been charged
with illegal use of heroin.
943
01:08:22,837 --> 01:08:24,012
A warrant was issued
944
01:08:24,535 --> 01:08:26,711
for the arrest of guitarist
Keith Richards and his wife
945
01:08:26,711 --> 01:08:28,104
who failed to appear.
946
01:08:31,019 --> 01:08:32,586
My parents,
they were quite blatant
947
01:08:32,586 --> 01:08:33,979
about their drug use.
948
01:08:35,067 --> 01:08:37,722
So eventually the police
were called for some incident.
949
01:08:38,114 --> 01:08:39,419
It was very dramatic.
950
01:08:39,419 --> 01:08:41,552
Policemen outside,
all that sort of thing.
951
01:08:42,118 --> 01:08:44,685
There was a warrant out
for both of them,
952
01:08:47,035 --> 01:08:49,777
and we had to leave France
pretty quickly.
953
01:08:53,781 --> 01:08:56,480
We split before the cops
raided the house.
954
01:08:58,873 --> 01:09:02,399
My motto was
"forward, forward, forward."
955
01:09:02,399 --> 01:09:03,617
"Never look back."
956
01:09:06,446 --> 01:09:09,232
I remember having
to leave a lot of my toys
957
01:09:09,536 --> 01:09:11,843
that were sent away,
packed up, and put in storage
958
01:09:11,843 --> 01:09:13,366
and never sent on.
959
01:09:14,889 --> 01:09:15,977
That's how it was.
960
01:09:16,543 --> 01:09:19,111
Living such a shambolic
and hectic sort of lifestyle,
961
01:09:19,372 --> 01:09:20,721
you'd lose things anyway.
962
01:09:20,721 --> 01:09:21,809
I mean, just lose things.
963
01:09:23,420 --> 01:09:25,857
In like three years,
we probably moved house
964
01:09:25,857 --> 01:09:27,598
about 20 times, at least.
965
01:09:30,731 --> 01:09:32,516
And possessions
you leave behind,
966
01:09:32,516 --> 01:09:33,560
you never see again.
967
01:09:51,187 --> 01:09:52,797
We couldn't go back to England.
968
01:09:56,322 --> 01:09:58,803
The police in England,
they're always watching,
969
01:09:58,803 --> 01:10:00,587
watching the houses...
970
01:10:03,590 --> 01:10:06,550
I remember being very fearful
when we were living in London.
971
01:10:06,550 --> 01:10:08,334
We'd go back to our house
in Cheney Walk
972
01:10:08,334 --> 01:10:10,249
and they'd immediately
draw the curtains
973
01:10:10,249 --> 01:10:12,208
and start staring out the window
all the time
974
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:13,209
looking for the cops.
975
01:10:17,604 --> 01:10:18,692
There was this sort of
976
01:10:18,692 --> 01:10:20,520
Bonnie and Clyde
thing about it.
977
01:10:22,783 --> 01:10:26,700
I mean, we actually, literally,
were running out of houses.
978
01:10:28,528 --> 01:10:31,488
One suitcase and a kid
zooming off
979
01:10:31,488 --> 01:10:33,707
with cops in the trees.
980
01:10:37,363 --> 01:10:39,017
The reason
we're in Switzerland,
981
01:10:39,017 --> 01:10:41,324
is it's the only country in
the world that would have us.
982
01:10:43,282 --> 01:10:46,677
We're fucking junkies,
for Christ's sake.
983
01:10:50,289 --> 01:10:52,291
We got a nice place
in Villars.
984
01:10:52,770 --> 01:10:54,685
A simple little cottage.
985
01:10:55,338 --> 01:10:58,602
A ski chalet with meadows
and a stream.
986
01:11:04,825 --> 01:11:06,827
One of the earliest
memories I have
987
01:11:07,088 --> 01:11:11,049
was my sister being born
in Switzerland.
988
01:11:13,617 --> 01:11:16,184
It was a beautiful
Sound of Music sort of day.
989
01:11:16,968 --> 01:11:19,013
Alps, trees, sunlight.
990
01:11:21,581 --> 01:11:23,670
The hospital was down
the mountainside
991
01:11:23,670 --> 01:11:25,237
from where we lived.
992
01:11:27,195 --> 01:11:29,894
I remember
running down this hill,
993
01:11:29,894 --> 01:11:32,200
ran up to this
plate glass window
994
01:11:32,853 --> 01:11:36,553
and in the plate glass window
was a nurse holding my sister.
995
01:11:39,033 --> 01:11:40,426
It was just amazing.
996
01:11:41,471 --> 01:11:43,124
It was wonderful
to have a sister.
997
01:11:46,127 --> 01:11:48,434
My daughter
had a square smile
998
01:11:48,956 --> 01:11:49,957
just like mine.
999
01:11:51,698 --> 01:11:54,484
But her birth was traumatic.
1000
01:11:56,268 --> 01:11:58,009
She was two months early
1001
01:11:58,444 --> 01:12:00,620
and I was still trying
to get clean.
1002
01:12:02,013 --> 01:12:03,928
We laid low in Switzerland.
1003
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,452
The cops couldn't get us here.
1004
01:12:07,714 --> 01:12:11,022
I was given the name
Dandelion when I was born.
1005
01:12:11,022 --> 01:12:13,372
I completely blame my brother
for that one.
1006
01:12:13,807 --> 01:12:17,289
Some evil vendetta.
1007
01:12:17,289 --> 01:12:19,639
Having a baby sister,
maybe he was like,
1008
01:12:19,639 --> 01:12:24,252
"Yes, you shall be
named Dandelion."
1009
01:12:24,818 --> 01:12:26,820
Maybe Marlon will tell you
his middle name.
1010
01:12:26,820 --> 01:12:28,039
Oh, for fuck's sake.
1011
01:12:28,518 --> 01:12:32,217
Marlon Leon Sundeep Richards.
1012
01:12:32,478 --> 01:12:36,482
Leon Sundeep spells LSD.
1013
01:12:38,745 --> 01:12:41,444
So I went to my father
and I told him.
1014
01:12:41,444 --> 01:12:45,622
I said, "Is this coincidence
or is this intentional?"
1015
01:12:45,622 --> 01:12:47,188
And he chuckled and he said,
1016
01:12:47,188 --> 01:12:49,277
"Your mother had
a sense of humor, didn't she?"
1017
01:13:01,942 --> 01:13:05,337
In Switzerland,
we are a normal family
1018
01:13:05,337 --> 01:13:06,512
with growing children.
1019
01:13:06,773 --> 01:13:08,296
And we are outside a lot.
1020
01:13:09,863 --> 01:13:11,082
We play
1021
01:13:11,343 --> 01:13:14,128
and we do all of the things
that families do.
1022
01:13:18,872 --> 01:13:22,441
In the winter, we are skiing
and tobogganing
1023
01:13:22,441 --> 01:13:24,312
almost every single day.
1024
01:13:26,706 --> 01:13:29,056
Switzerland actually
was quite happy,
1025
01:13:30,406 --> 01:13:32,190
and it felt like
a skiing holiday.
1026
01:13:32,973 --> 01:13:35,193
Everyone wearing snow suits
and all that sort of stuff.
1027
01:13:37,151 --> 01:13:39,676
The ski run was down the road.
1028
01:13:41,460 --> 01:13:44,071
Literally, just walk out
the door, get up on a ski lift,
1029
01:13:44,071 --> 01:13:46,465
go up to the top, and then
you'd ski down the mountain.
1030
01:13:46,465 --> 01:13:47,901
You'd ski right to your house.
1031
01:13:50,034 --> 01:13:52,602
It was a very domestic time.
It was a very settled time.
1032
01:13:55,996 --> 01:13:58,129
Keith and Anita were really
good skiers by this point.
1033
01:13:58,999 --> 01:14:00,392
To learn to ski
when you're like
1034
01:14:00,392 --> 01:14:02,525
in the deepest depths
of addiction
1035
01:14:03,090 --> 01:14:04,701
is just unbelievable.
1036
01:14:04,701 --> 01:14:06,833
I mean, it's nothing
you'd generally take up.
1037
01:14:06,833 --> 01:14:08,661
It's not the idea of like,
"Oh, I'm gonna, you know,
1038
01:14:08,661 --> 01:14:10,358
go down a mountain every day,
1039
01:14:10,358 --> 01:14:11,969
do massive shot of heroin
1040
01:14:12,578 --> 01:14:14,580
and gonna go on the black run."
1041
01:14:33,207 --> 01:14:36,384
We met these
wonderful rich boys in Geneva.
1042
01:14:40,301 --> 01:14:42,478
They turned out to be
very loyal.
1043
01:14:44,915 --> 01:14:47,221
The best friends we ever had.
1044
01:14:51,138 --> 01:14:53,053
When I meet Anita,
1045
01:14:53,053 --> 01:14:55,360
she was a very
unpredictable person,
1046
01:14:55,360 --> 01:14:56,883
which is something I liked.
1047
01:14:57,754 --> 01:14:59,886
You know, in Switzerland,
in social dates,
1048
01:15:00,321 --> 01:15:03,107
to meet somebody unpredictable
1049
01:15:03,107 --> 01:15:07,024
is like putting
a bit adventure in your life.
1050
01:15:09,679 --> 01:15:10,723
She had values
1051
01:15:11,376 --> 01:15:13,813
and then she would throw them
out of the window in one second.
1052
01:15:14,422 --> 01:15:17,034
You know, to us, she was
somebody like dangerous.
1053
01:15:17,382 --> 01:15:18,949
You know, we loved her.
1054
01:15:18,949 --> 01:15:21,560
She created this anarchy
that we needed.
1055
01:15:25,216 --> 01:15:27,435
I was surprised to see them
1056
01:15:27,435 --> 01:15:30,308
move into that tiny chalet
lost in Villars.
1057
01:15:31,309 --> 01:15:34,138
You know, I mean, what the hell
were they doing there?
1058
01:15:34,138 --> 01:15:36,009
And enjoying themselves,
it seemed.
1059
01:15:38,142 --> 01:15:40,100
But there was a lot of dramas.
1060
01:15:43,016 --> 01:15:46,542
Anita was sometimes furious
and screaming
1061
01:15:46,890 --> 01:15:50,371
and terrorizing everybody,
you know,
1062
01:15:50,371 --> 01:15:52,112
and throwing things around.
1063
01:15:52,112 --> 01:15:55,812
And then an hour later,
she would appear.
1064
01:15:56,639 --> 01:15:58,118
She would serve you tea.
1065
01:15:59,119 --> 01:16:02,035
She was creating
this constant chaos.
1066
01:16:05,561 --> 01:16:07,998
If anything was bothering her,
1067
01:16:07,998 --> 01:16:10,043
she wouldn't wanna
talk about it.
1068
01:16:11,218 --> 01:16:14,570
And I'd say, "Oh, we have to
sit down and talk about this."
1069
01:16:14,570 --> 01:16:16,659
It was not an option
with Anita.
1070
01:16:16,659 --> 01:16:19,183
You know, it was, you know,
1071
01:16:19,183 --> 01:16:22,578
a plate come flying
through the room.
1072
01:16:23,927 --> 01:16:28,888
I think junk, for her,
was almost necessary
1073
01:16:28,888 --> 01:16:30,760
just to suppress the energy.
1074
01:16:32,675 --> 01:16:34,851
There was a maelstrom
in her head.
1075
01:16:35,329 --> 01:16:37,723
She was agitated by voices
1076
01:16:37,723 --> 01:16:40,508
that she couldn't control
sometimes.
1077
01:16:43,555 --> 01:16:45,905
Keith said that he was taking
a lot of drugs
1078
01:16:45,905 --> 01:16:48,908
because of the pressure
of being a Rolling Stone.
1079
01:16:53,870 --> 01:16:57,134
We were always waiting
for the drugs to arrive.
1080
01:16:58,701 --> 01:17:02,182
I would try to stop Keith
and he would try to stop me,
1081
01:17:03,793 --> 01:17:05,795
but we never stopped ourselves.
1082
01:17:08,101 --> 01:17:10,147
The straight road
had been lost.
1083
01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:14,064
They never went to bed
1084
01:17:14,064 --> 01:17:16,632
before six or eight o'clock
in the morning.
1085
01:17:19,025 --> 01:17:22,159
They are not in a state of
taking care really of the kids.
1086
01:17:26,163 --> 01:17:28,556
Marlon was considered an adult.
1087
01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:33,866
One night,
1088
01:17:33,866 --> 01:17:36,216
we're all going
to see Dr. Feelgood.
1089
01:17:39,524 --> 01:17:42,440
And Anita rambles
about something.
1090
01:17:43,571 --> 01:17:47,053
And Marlon, you know,
he leans in front of the camera.
1091
01:17:47,053 --> 01:17:49,882
He says, "Mama, don't talk.
Don't talk."
1092
01:17:51,579 --> 01:17:53,886
- Mama, don't talk.
- All right.
1093
01:17:56,106 --> 01:17:58,238
Marlon was
a commanding force.
1094
01:18:00,588 --> 01:18:02,895
And he had a lot
on his shoulders.
1095
01:18:03,722 --> 01:18:06,420
A lot on his shoulders,
'cause he was sometimes
1096
01:18:06,420 --> 01:18:08,379
the man in the house.
1097
01:18:21,566 --> 01:18:24,177
We were constantly
being left alone
1098
01:18:24,177 --> 01:18:26,092
while Keith went off on tour.
1099
01:18:27,659 --> 01:18:29,313
I think after
the first tour we did,
1100
01:18:29,313 --> 01:18:30,618
my mother found it
too exhausting
1101
01:18:30,618 --> 01:18:32,359
having a small child on tour.
1102
01:18:39,802 --> 01:18:41,107
Being a mother,
1103
01:18:41,412 --> 01:18:43,544
she found a very
chauvinistic environment.
1104
01:18:43,806 --> 01:18:44,981
Very ugly.
1105
01:18:51,030 --> 01:18:52,553
It's a very
unhealthy environment,
1106
01:18:52,553 --> 01:18:56,122
psychologically, physically,
and definitely mentally.
1107
01:19:01,475 --> 01:19:04,130
It was only there
for the four or five people
1108
01:19:04,130 --> 01:19:06,132
who were on stage every night.
1109
01:19:08,831 --> 01:19:10,876
There was no interest
in anyone else, really.
1110
01:19:16,490 --> 01:19:19,015
The Stones had become
a corporation.
1111
01:19:21,234 --> 01:19:22,845
The guys in suits.
1112
01:19:24,368 --> 01:19:26,065
The nebula of yes men.
1113
01:19:27,632 --> 01:19:29,199
The wheel was set in motion.
1114
01:19:31,375 --> 01:19:33,246
It was a totally
different scene.
1115
01:19:34,726 --> 01:19:36,859
The band was like
an organism,
1116
01:19:36,859 --> 01:19:38,686
a multifaceted one.
1117
01:19:39,296 --> 01:19:40,993
Jade Jagger calls it the Org,
1118
01:19:41,559 --> 01:19:43,822
or the Bus is another good word
she calls it.
1119
01:19:43,822 --> 01:19:45,215
The Bus comes first.
1120
01:19:49,697 --> 01:19:51,874
You can get off the bus,
you can get on the bus,
1121
01:19:51,874 --> 01:19:53,440
but the bus
is always going somewhere
1122
01:19:53,440 --> 01:19:54,877
and it's always on the move.
1123
01:20:04,930 --> 01:20:08,064
The Bus isn't healthy
and you have to get off it.
1124
01:20:23,819 --> 01:20:27,257
When he came home,
Keith got stoned a lot.
1125
01:20:31,609 --> 01:20:34,177
He also spent
a lot of time sleeping.
1126
01:20:39,486 --> 01:20:41,793
But one night, we got romantic
1127
01:20:46,667 --> 01:20:48,321
and I fell pregnant again.
1128
01:20:53,152 --> 01:20:55,459
My parents told me
we're gonna have another baby.
1129
01:20:56,416 --> 01:20:57,809
They were very excited.
1130
01:21:00,246 --> 01:21:02,118
I remember Anita thinking
it was a
1131
01:21:02,118 --> 01:21:03,554
sort of new lease on life.
1132
01:21:06,252 --> 01:21:08,254
It brought them together more,
obviously,
1133
01:21:08,254 --> 01:21:10,039
for a short period of time
at least.
1134
01:21:12,476 --> 01:21:14,870
For him, you know,
the more, the merrier really.
1135
01:21:15,914 --> 01:21:18,612
But then he didn't really
have to deal with, you know,
1136
01:21:18,612 --> 01:21:22,921
for, A, childbirth and,
you know, B, child-rearing.
1137
01:21:28,187 --> 01:21:30,450
Tara was a beautiful baby.
1138
01:21:31,190 --> 01:21:32,539
I was over the moon.
1139
01:21:33,976 --> 01:21:36,630
I was constantly
with him in my arms.
1140
01:21:45,683 --> 01:21:47,859
Tara was born prematurely.
1141
01:21:49,992 --> 01:21:52,037
And I do remember him
coming home and seeing him
1142
01:21:52,037 --> 01:21:54,779
and then him having to go back
to the hospital quite a lot.
1143
01:21:55,345 --> 01:21:56,999
Back and forth, back and forth.
1144
01:22:01,481 --> 01:22:02,874
There were complications.
1145
01:22:03,266 --> 01:22:05,398
My parents
were very concerned about that.
1146
01:22:08,532 --> 01:22:11,448
I remember
being at the hospital,
1147
01:22:12,492 --> 01:22:13,929
helping her out.
1148
01:22:16,627 --> 01:22:18,107
Keith wasn't around
1149
01:22:18,368 --> 01:22:20,152
and Anita was, at that time,
1150
01:22:20,587 --> 01:22:22,067
I guess a bit alone.
1151
01:22:26,724 --> 01:22:29,248
She was supposed to have
people looking after her.
1152
01:22:30,075 --> 01:22:31,598
They just weren't,
at some point,
1153
01:22:31,598 --> 01:22:32,948
and left her on her own.
1154
01:22:34,819 --> 01:22:37,561
And I think Anita felt
abandoned by everyone.
1155
01:22:48,528 --> 01:22:51,836
On that fatal night,
I was at a party.
1156
01:22:54,230 --> 01:22:55,971
Suddenly the phone rang
1157
01:22:56,493 --> 01:22:58,321
and I don't know
how she found me.
1158
01:22:58,321 --> 01:22:59,670
I don't know who found me.
1159
01:23:02,194 --> 01:23:04,283
She was screaming
and she was...
1160
01:23:04,675 --> 01:23:06,198
She was in a state.
1161
01:23:08,853 --> 01:23:10,333
I went to the house.
1162
01:23:13,553 --> 01:23:17,427
This house
was just like chaos itself.
1163
01:23:19,037 --> 01:23:20,996
I tried to make Tara breathe
1164
01:23:20,996 --> 01:23:25,652
but the kid was cold and stiff.
1165
01:23:30,396 --> 01:23:32,833
I think I fainted at one point.
1166
01:23:33,312 --> 01:23:35,227
It was so difficult.
1167
01:23:36,620 --> 01:23:40,189
Anita was completely
out of control.
1168
01:23:41,451 --> 01:23:43,279
She cried. She screamed.
1169
01:23:43,279 --> 01:23:46,543
She was... She was...
it was terrible.
1170
01:23:47,065 --> 01:23:50,677
She had this animal thing
that came out, you know?
1171
01:23:50,677 --> 01:23:54,420
Like she wanted to...
She wanted him to be alive.
1172
01:23:57,467 --> 01:24:00,600
And it was an extremely
sad moment.
1173
01:24:09,522 --> 01:24:13,048
Keith was in Paris
the night I believe he heard.
1174
01:24:14,571 --> 01:24:17,008
There's a bit of footage
from the concert.
1175
01:24:18,749 --> 01:24:21,186
He insisted on going
on stage that night.
1176
01:24:21,665 --> 01:24:23,797
The band, from what I gather,
was saying,
1177
01:24:23,797 --> 01:24:25,799
"No, you can't.
Your son's just died."
1178
01:24:26,148 --> 01:24:28,498
But he insisted
the show must go on.
1179
01:24:29,107 --> 01:24:31,675
I supposed he played very well.
Very, very well.
1180
01:25:00,182 --> 01:25:01,226
Yeah!
1181
01:25:08,059 --> 01:25:09,887
Tara had died
a crib death.
1182
01:25:11,671 --> 01:25:13,499
He was only 10 weeks old.
1183
01:25:17,286 --> 01:25:18,678
I was heartbroken.
1184
01:25:22,204 --> 01:25:24,945
The Swiss doctors told me
it wasn't my fault.
1185
01:25:27,078 --> 01:25:30,603
But if I'd been more together,
could I have done something?
1186
01:25:39,438 --> 01:25:41,005
Keith never blamed me.
1187
01:25:41,658 --> 01:25:42,833
He's not like that.
1188
01:25:45,314 --> 01:25:46,706
But I blame myself.
1189
01:25:48,839 --> 01:25:50,449
I had a nervous breakdown.
1190
01:25:57,456 --> 01:26:00,894
Tara, he's never...
he's never really been
1191
01:26:00,894 --> 01:26:02,331
talked about, to be honest,
1192
01:26:04,071 --> 01:26:05,595
but his memory's there.
1193
01:26:06,552 --> 01:26:09,555
But Marlon and I find it hard,
and my mom never talked about it
1194
01:26:09,555 --> 01:26:11,253
and my dad never talks about it.
1195
01:26:11,905 --> 01:26:15,213
And I think maybe now,
as we're getting older,
1196
01:26:15,213 --> 01:26:16,432
we probably should have...
1197
01:26:17,172 --> 01:26:19,957
probably could've talked to Mom
about it a bit more, but...
1198
01:26:20,653 --> 01:26:23,178
It wasn't really much
of a topic, shall we say.
1199
01:26:23,917 --> 01:26:25,832
It was never really brought up
much again.
1200
01:26:26,137 --> 01:26:27,182
It was too painful.
1201
01:26:27,921 --> 01:26:30,489
I think they just couldn't cope,
either of them.
1202
01:26:35,842 --> 01:26:38,758
I had to take Angela
and put her with my mother,
1203
01:26:40,499 --> 01:26:42,936
'cause it was
incredibly sad for us.
1204
01:26:45,330 --> 01:26:49,247
But given the circumstances,
it was the only decision.
1205
01:26:54,557 --> 01:26:56,211
I think we were in a hotel.
1206
01:26:58,125 --> 01:26:59,518
I don't know
what hotel we were in
1207
01:26:59,518 --> 01:27:01,694
but my nan and Bill
came and picked me up.
1208
01:27:02,434 --> 01:27:04,436
And my mom was just...
She was just in bed.
1209
01:27:04,436 --> 01:27:06,569
She didn't really know
that I was leaving.
1210
01:27:06,569 --> 01:27:07,831
She didn't say goodbye.
1211
01:27:08,223 --> 01:27:11,356
She was pretty much out of it,
I would say, probably.
1212
01:27:11,835 --> 01:27:14,446
And my nan and Bill came
and got my little suitcase,
1213
01:27:14,446 --> 01:27:16,187
and that was it, I just went.
1214
01:27:19,712 --> 01:27:22,541
I don't know
what I was told at the time.
1215
01:27:22,541 --> 01:27:24,543
I think I was just going there
for a little while
1216
01:27:24,543 --> 01:27:27,329
while my mom was just
sorting herself out,
1217
01:27:27,329 --> 01:27:28,591
and my dad was as well.
1218
01:27:31,594 --> 01:27:33,726
Angela would have been
four years old.
1219
01:27:34,205 --> 01:27:36,076
Just went on permanently
from then.
1220
01:27:38,862 --> 01:27:40,255
We were split up.
1221
01:27:42,169 --> 01:27:43,910
She stayed in England
1222
01:27:44,302 --> 01:27:46,261
and we went to live
in the States.
1223
01:27:51,527 --> 01:27:53,442
Maybe it was just a new start.
1224
01:27:53,442 --> 01:27:54,791
Maybe that sort of thing.
1225
01:27:54,791 --> 01:27:56,401
I mean,
it's somewhere different.
1226
01:27:56,401 --> 01:27:57,489
Yeah.
1227
01:28:00,362 --> 01:28:01,754
It was like a new life.
1228
01:28:04,235 --> 01:28:06,106
My idea of America
was The Brady Bunch.
1229
01:28:06,585 --> 01:28:09,327
But we were in the middle
of nowhere. Upstate New York.
1230
01:28:12,156 --> 01:28:14,724
My parents weren't getting on
very well at that point.
1231
01:28:16,900 --> 01:28:19,032
Keith was, I think,
just doing his sort of shit,
1232
01:28:19,032 --> 01:28:21,078
fucking off and disappearing
for weeks on end.
1233
01:28:23,602 --> 01:28:25,125
It was basically
a lawyered decision
1234
01:28:25,125 --> 01:28:27,432
to some degree that
they should...
1235
01:28:27,911 --> 01:28:29,782
He was either told
to like, you know,
1236
01:28:29,782 --> 01:28:32,307
choose The Rolling Stones
or choose her.
1237
01:28:32,785 --> 01:28:33,830
You can't have both
1238
01:28:34,309 --> 01:28:36,659
because you're self-destructing
if you stay with her.
1239
01:28:38,748 --> 01:28:40,880
And I'm sure
she told the lawyers
1240
01:28:41,228 --> 01:28:42,491
to go fuck themselves.
1241
01:28:43,753 --> 01:28:45,407
And she probably threw
something at them.
1242
01:28:55,504 --> 01:28:57,810
I moved in
with Anita and Marlon
1243
01:28:58,115 --> 01:29:01,074
in July of '78.
1244
01:29:02,685 --> 01:29:04,295
Anita hired me
1245
01:29:04,687 --> 01:29:06,993
to be the governess
or nanny for Marlon.
1246
01:29:08,168 --> 01:29:10,301
My masters was in Special Ed.
1247
01:29:10,301 --> 01:29:12,564
And it was my understanding
from Anita
1248
01:29:12,564 --> 01:29:14,392
that he was "home-schooled."
1249
01:29:14,392 --> 01:29:15,915
He had never been to school.
1250
01:29:16,176 --> 01:29:17,264
And he was eight.
1251
01:29:18,614 --> 01:29:20,485
But Marlon was amazing.
1252
01:29:20,877 --> 01:29:22,531
He was a brilliant little boy.
1253
01:29:24,097 --> 01:29:27,536
And I just tried
to normalize suburban living,
1254
01:29:27,536 --> 01:29:28,754
going to school,
1255
01:29:28,754 --> 01:29:30,756
being an eight-year-old kid
having fun.
1256
01:29:36,501 --> 01:29:40,984
Anita was just
in this very small...
1257
01:29:42,551 --> 01:29:45,118
closed provincial community,
1258
01:29:45,858 --> 01:29:47,382
bored out of her mind,
1259
01:29:48,644 --> 01:29:51,516
just getting off
of the loss of a child,
1260
01:29:51,821 --> 01:29:54,519
and she was dependent
on the record company
1261
01:29:54,519 --> 01:29:56,086
for just about everything.
1262
01:29:56,913 --> 01:30:01,134
They had quite a bit
of control over her life.
1263
01:30:02,135 --> 01:30:05,661
She did not have possession
of her own passport,
1264
01:30:06,313 --> 01:30:10,317
so she was pretty much
at their mercy
1265
01:30:10,317 --> 01:30:13,886
and needed to ask permission
to travel.
1266
01:30:16,106 --> 01:30:18,021
She was a caged animal.
1267
01:30:21,590 --> 01:30:23,853
I think she was really angry, yeah.
1268
01:30:25,550 --> 01:30:29,075
I think the whole situation
wore her down after a bit.
1269
01:30:32,165 --> 01:30:33,515
She was very lonely up there.
1270
01:30:33,906 --> 01:30:36,431
And she befriended
this young guy.
1271
01:30:37,257 --> 01:30:39,477
He was 17, 18-ish.
1272
01:30:41,218 --> 01:30:43,263
Scott and his cousin
1273
01:30:43,655 --> 01:30:46,353
did a lot of odd jobs
around the community.
1274
01:30:48,530 --> 01:30:51,663
They seemed to
kind of be knockabouts.
1275
01:30:53,970 --> 01:30:57,147
Anita was very lenient,
very laid-back,
1276
01:30:57,147 --> 01:30:59,758
and, you know, "Help yourself."
1277
01:31:00,629 --> 01:31:03,327
They were just friends until...
1278
01:31:05,155 --> 01:31:06,417
until they weren't.
1279
01:31:07,418 --> 01:31:12,597
You know, he might not
have been a minor,
1280
01:31:13,119 --> 01:31:16,166
but, in my mind, he was just...
1281
01:31:16,514 --> 01:31:17,994
he was just too...
1282
01:31:17,994 --> 01:31:19,169
He was a kid.
1283
01:31:21,563 --> 01:31:24,957
My grandmother
kept me very sheltered
1284
01:31:24,957 --> 01:31:28,570
about my mom
and my father's lifestyles.
1285
01:31:29,266 --> 01:31:31,355
But I'd go out there
in the summer holidays
1286
01:31:31,355 --> 01:31:32,487
and see them.
1287
01:31:32,922 --> 01:31:35,315
The relationship
was definitely a bit stifled.
1288
01:31:35,707 --> 01:31:37,230
Old-fashioned, my nan would say.
1289
01:31:37,230 --> 01:31:39,842
She just didn't really see
what was, you know,
1290
01:31:39,842 --> 01:31:42,801
what was going on
or understand it.
1291
01:31:42,801 --> 01:31:44,542
And, you know, she was...
1292
01:31:44,542 --> 01:31:46,588
She was bad mom
in my nan's eyes.
1293
01:31:51,070 --> 01:31:54,160
When Keith's mom
came to visit with Angela,
1294
01:31:55,031 --> 01:31:58,164
Anita treated her
like she was made of glass.
1295
01:31:58,774 --> 01:32:00,776
She just would sit
and look at her
1296
01:32:00,776 --> 01:32:03,126
and, you know,
talk about her dress,
1297
01:32:03,126 --> 01:32:05,781
and admire her.
1298
01:32:05,781 --> 01:32:07,086
Admire her.
1299
01:32:07,086 --> 01:32:08,566
And I think she was longing
1300
01:32:08,566 --> 01:32:09,915
but she didn't wanna
get too close
1301
01:32:09,915 --> 01:32:11,264
'cause she knew
they were leaving.
1302
01:32:12,875 --> 01:32:15,355
She held a lot against Doris,
1303
01:32:16,269 --> 01:32:19,359
the reason why she didn't have
Angela with her.
1304
01:32:28,499 --> 01:32:32,024
It was the last day
of school, July 28th, 1979.
1305
01:32:32,677 --> 01:32:33,809
I was like ten.
1306
01:32:35,506 --> 01:32:37,552
I'd just finished
summer school.
1307
01:32:40,337 --> 01:32:41,599
Got off the bus.
1308
01:32:43,775 --> 01:32:46,996
No one was home really.
At least, I didn't think so.
1309
01:32:48,824 --> 01:32:50,521
So I walked in,
made a sandwich.
1310
01:32:51,174 --> 01:32:52,784
Sat down, turned the TV on.
1311
01:32:52,784 --> 01:32:55,874
man: It was an exciting time
ten years ago today.
1312
01:32:56,483 --> 01:32:59,182
Watched this ABC Special
on the moon landings.
1313
01:32:59,878 --> 01:33:02,577
Neil Armstrong: Houston,
the Eagle has landed.
1314
01:33:04,927 --> 01:33:07,451
I didn't realize
Anita was even in the house.
1315
01:33:08,104 --> 01:33:10,149
And then I hear a loud bang.
1316
01:33:11,586 --> 01:33:12,935
And then a scream.
1317
01:33:14,110 --> 01:33:18,375
Anita came down in a night gown,
just covered in blood.
1318
01:33:18,636 --> 01:33:21,421
Screaming, saying, "Oh, my God.
Scott's blown his head off,"
1319
01:33:21,421 --> 01:33:23,206
or shot himself
or something like that
1320
01:33:23,206 --> 01:33:24,337
and freaking out.
1321
01:33:24,729 --> 01:33:26,688
She was losing her shit.
Losing her shit.
1322
01:33:28,341 --> 01:33:30,430
I remember running upstairs
rather morbidly.
1323
01:33:32,563 --> 01:33:33,738
The TV was on.
1324
01:33:34,565 --> 01:33:36,306
They'd been watching
Deer Hunter.
1325
01:33:39,962 --> 01:33:41,877
And the Russian roulette scene
came up
1326
01:33:41,877 --> 01:33:43,269
and he decided to emulate it.
1327
01:33:44,053 --> 01:33:45,315
And, unfortunately, he lost.
1328
01:33:53,453 --> 01:33:55,107
I remember
going around the room
1329
01:33:55,368 --> 01:33:58,458
because I was always taught
as a child to clean up.
1330
01:33:59,372 --> 01:34:01,940
If there's anything
dodgy around, get rid of it.
1331
01:34:03,289 --> 01:34:04,900
There was like
drug paraphernalia around,
1332
01:34:04,900 --> 01:34:07,206
so I kind of scooped it
into a bag or something
1333
01:34:07,206 --> 01:34:08,512
and threw it in the rubbish.
1334
01:34:09,426 --> 01:34:11,254
And then I remembered,
"Oh, shit, the pistols."
1335
01:34:12,690 --> 01:34:14,910
The guns in the house
were Keith's.
1336
01:34:16,433 --> 01:34:18,957
So I kind of took those
and put those away too
1337
01:34:18,957 --> 01:34:20,567
'cause I knew the cops
were coming.
1338
01:34:23,005 --> 01:34:24,963
And there was
25 cop cars around.
1339
01:34:24,963 --> 01:34:27,357
They hauled her off to jail,
I think, for a bit.
1340
01:34:28,793 --> 01:34:31,578
Searched the house
for dirty bits, all that.
1341
01:34:33,450 --> 01:34:35,147
It was very, very dark.
1342
01:34:37,019 --> 01:34:41,153
We were drifting
a little anyway.
1343
01:34:43,590 --> 01:34:47,246
It was at that point,
I had to actually say to Anita,
1344
01:34:47,246 --> 01:34:49,205
"I'm not living
with you anymore."
1345
01:34:51,729 --> 01:34:55,690
I really had to say, you know,
"Look, I have to leave."
1346
01:34:59,998 --> 01:35:01,696
It wasn't safe
to stay there.
1347
01:35:02,653 --> 01:35:04,089
We pretty much
moved out that night.
1348
01:35:04,089 --> 01:35:05,830
That was it.
We were out of that house.
1349
01:35:08,050 --> 01:35:11,053
She had to go off
and be coached by lawyers.
1350
01:35:14,404 --> 01:35:17,799
I was whisked off to Paris
to stay with my father.
1351
01:35:19,801 --> 01:35:22,368
The next time I saw her
was like four months later.
1352
01:35:22,368 --> 01:35:24,153
She was living in a hotel
in New York.
1353
01:35:29,114 --> 01:35:31,377
All I heard
was the click of a gun.
1354
01:35:35,817 --> 01:35:40,082
It was someone's life
and I'd had my back turned.
1355
01:35:44,956 --> 01:35:46,784
I felt like some nasty person
1356
01:35:46,784 --> 01:35:49,091
who caused death
and destruction around her.
1357
01:35:56,533 --> 01:35:59,623
I slid further into the depths
of heroin addiction,
1358
01:36:03,409 --> 01:36:05,934
scoring on the streets
of Alphabet City.
1359
01:36:07,196 --> 01:36:09,633
I started stealing drugs
from my friends.
1360
01:36:15,857 --> 01:36:17,032
I sat in the Mudd Club
1361
01:36:17,032 --> 01:36:19,295
and watched my former self
on video.
1362
01:36:23,560 --> 01:36:26,563
I felt totally at the mercy
of dark powers,
1363
01:36:29,914 --> 01:36:31,307
the living dead.
1364
01:36:40,882 --> 01:36:44,015
She just descended.
Descended pretty badly.
1365
01:36:47,540 --> 01:36:49,847
She painted herself
into a corner pretty much.
1366
01:36:52,110 --> 01:36:53,764
She was such a nightmare
that I think
1367
01:36:53,764 --> 01:36:55,505
basically she was
her own worst enemy.
1368
01:37:06,908 --> 01:37:07,996
In the end,
1369
01:37:08,779 --> 01:37:10,955
it was the alcohol
that brought me down.
1370
01:37:13,610 --> 01:37:16,743
I was so drunk,
I'd fallen off the bed.
1371
01:37:20,225 --> 01:37:22,271
And that's where they found me.
1372
01:37:27,711 --> 01:37:28,930
But I survived.
1373
01:37:31,454 --> 01:37:33,195
I wasn't sure that I would.
1374
01:37:36,807 --> 01:37:38,200
By that point,
especially,
1375
01:37:38,200 --> 01:37:39,854
she'd seen
enough people dying off.
1376
01:37:40,158 --> 01:37:42,508
She knew
that if she didn't clean up,
1377
01:37:42,508 --> 01:37:43,683
it would be her.
1378
01:37:44,119 --> 01:37:45,120
Yeah.
1379
01:37:49,559 --> 01:37:52,388
She went off and
did some rehab.
1380
01:37:53,911 --> 01:37:55,304
She went to one place
1381
01:37:55,304 --> 01:37:56,783
in the middle of nowhere
pretty much.
1382
01:37:59,090 --> 01:38:02,398
All the counselors were these
huge ex, like, military types.
1383
01:38:03,747 --> 01:38:06,663
She had to sit in the middle
of this room with her sponsor,
1384
01:38:06,663 --> 01:38:09,013
and me and my sister
and her sister.
1385
01:38:09,492 --> 01:38:12,582
And she had to read out
like a massive essay
1386
01:38:12,582 --> 01:38:15,150
she wrote to each of us with
what she'd done wrong to us
1387
01:38:15,585 --> 01:38:17,456
over the years
and apologize to us.
1388
01:38:17,456 --> 01:38:19,241
And it was heartbreaking.
It really was.
1389
01:38:21,852 --> 01:38:24,159
I thought I'd broken
all the bridges.
1390
01:38:25,464 --> 01:38:28,032
I thought the children
wouldn't wanna know me anymore.
1391
01:38:31,122 --> 01:38:33,516
It's been a very
difficult journey
1392
01:38:33,516 --> 01:38:34,909
for me and Marlon.
1393
01:38:36,127 --> 01:38:39,914
Sometimes we had... my dad.
1394
01:38:39,914 --> 01:38:43,700
He sat down with me one day
and he explained it all
1395
01:38:45,441 --> 01:38:46,572
and broke down.
1396
01:38:48,879 --> 01:38:50,315
Yeah, it's hard.
1397
01:38:55,407 --> 01:38:58,933
Just, you know,
they weren't in a good place.
1398
01:39:03,198 --> 01:39:06,462
But I've never wanted
an apology.
1399
01:39:08,638 --> 01:39:11,032
I just think
if you're proving yourself
1400
01:39:11,032 --> 01:39:13,686
and changing your life
and wanting to do better,
1401
01:39:13,948 --> 01:39:16,646
I'll take that as an apology.
1402
01:39:23,218 --> 01:39:26,656
In NA,
when you're in recovery,
1403
01:39:27,918 --> 01:39:29,702
we look back at our past,
1404
01:39:30,529 --> 01:39:33,010
we look at everything
that we've done,
1405
01:39:33,402 --> 01:39:35,056
and assess it.
1406
01:39:35,056 --> 01:39:37,232
We don't judge it
but we assess it,
1407
01:39:37,232 --> 01:39:40,931
and we don't leave anything
behind closed doors.
1408
01:39:45,544 --> 01:39:47,155
When Tara died,
1409
01:39:48,286 --> 01:39:51,202
it must have been
extremely difficult for Anita.
1410
01:39:53,552 --> 01:39:56,294
Keith certainly wasn't
a father in the...
1411
01:39:56,991 --> 01:40:00,037
in the normal sense of the word.
1412
01:40:05,738 --> 01:40:08,089
To me, she was one
of The Rolling Stones.
1413
01:40:09,438 --> 01:40:12,006
She certainly
was one of the boys.
1414
01:40:14,486 --> 01:40:17,489
But nobody was there
to help her.
1415
01:40:19,578 --> 01:40:21,493
She had a lot of strength and...
1416
01:40:21,493 --> 01:40:23,713
I mean, I don't know
how she survived so long.
1417
01:40:32,417 --> 01:40:35,464
I would like to bring
Tara's ashes to Rome,
1418
01:40:35,986 --> 01:40:37,379
to the family grave.
1419
01:40:42,906 --> 01:40:44,864
Can I lay to rest the ghosts
1420
01:40:45,256 --> 01:40:47,606
that have haunted me
for so many years?
1421
01:40:54,048 --> 01:40:55,440
I still feel young,
1422
01:40:55,919 --> 01:40:59,879
but I look in the mirror
and I realize that I'm not.
1423
01:41:04,667 --> 01:41:06,060
I started writing.
1424
01:41:08,497 --> 01:41:10,238
It was difficult at first
1425
01:41:11,500 --> 01:41:14,068
but the memories
came flooding back.
1426
01:41:18,202 --> 01:41:20,596
I knew I had
to understand myself
1427
01:41:20,596 --> 01:41:22,337
and the people I grew up with,
1428
01:41:22,902 --> 01:41:25,122
and not be daunted
that everyone else
1429
01:41:25,122 --> 01:41:26,993
thinks of them as giants.
1430
01:41:32,477 --> 01:41:34,523
I don't regret anything.
1431
01:41:38,657 --> 01:41:40,181
All the fires I had
been through
1432
01:41:40,181 --> 01:41:42,531
had been like a cleansing,
1433
01:41:44,054 --> 01:41:46,578
and fires are extraordinary.
1434
01:41:51,017 --> 01:41:53,846
But I've gotta get my own thing
going again.
1435
01:41:57,502 --> 01:42:00,157
She really had two acts
in her life,
1436
01:42:00,157 --> 01:42:04,074
and the first act was
very different from the second.
1437
01:42:04,640 --> 01:42:06,685
To her credit,
she got herself together.
1438
01:42:07,077 --> 01:42:10,428
I mean, not many people did.
My old man certainly didn't.
1439
01:42:11,212 --> 01:42:13,953
She got herself together.
She got sober, you know?
1440
01:42:13,953 --> 01:42:15,477
She got the wake-up call.
1441
01:42:23,224 --> 01:42:26,270
I think the desire
to not be a victim saved her.
1442
01:42:29,055 --> 01:42:30,448
She wanted to achieve things.
1443
01:42:34,191 --> 01:42:36,802
By the time I was
at secondary school,
1444
01:42:37,412 --> 01:42:39,849
she was just much more
involved in my life.
1445
01:42:42,112 --> 01:42:44,288
And that's when she started
to go to college.
1446
01:42:45,246 --> 01:42:47,161
So we were both students.
It was quite funny.
1447
01:42:48,423 --> 01:42:51,861
She said it wasn't easy
being that person in there.
1448
01:42:51,861 --> 01:42:54,907
But she said it was great,
and she worked really hard.
1449
01:42:55,821 --> 01:42:57,606
I think that gave her
a great deal of confidence.
1450
01:42:57,606 --> 01:42:58,824
A great deal of confidence.
1451
01:42:58,824 --> 01:43:00,130
She was so proud of herself,
1452
01:43:00,130 --> 01:43:01,523
and we were all very
proud of her.
1453
01:43:02,654 --> 01:43:04,961
I have this picture of her
with her hat
1454
01:43:05,222 --> 01:43:06,789
and her certificate,
1455
01:43:06,789 --> 01:43:09,618
grinning, when she graduated.
1456
01:43:13,491 --> 01:43:16,320
Yeah, she talked a lot
about going to art school.
1457
01:43:17,539 --> 01:43:19,889
I think she probably
found herself,
1458
01:43:19,889 --> 01:43:21,456
like her true self,
1459
01:43:22,196 --> 01:43:23,414
'cause there was nothing,
1460
01:43:23,849 --> 01:43:25,503
you know,
none of that Stones thing.
1461
01:43:25,503 --> 01:43:28,767
She was a student.
She was with other students.
1462
01:43:28,767 --> 01:43:30,334
And she was just like Anita.
1463
01:43:31,161 --> 01:43:34,730
I didn't know her when
she took drugs, so... But...
1464
01:43:37,123 --> 01:43:39,517
she was so interesting
without them.
1465
01:43:42,172 --> 01:43:43,956
Anita loved Kate.
1466
01:43:45,306 --> 01:43:47,438
She, you know,
took a lot of inspiration
1467
01:43:47,438 --> 01:43:48,831
from the young people
she was with.
1468
01:43:48,831 --> 01:43:50,746
She loved hanging out
with young people.
1469
01:43:51,529 --> 01:43:54,576
And Kate sort of credited her
with her style.
1470
01:43:58,319 --> 01:44:00,146
And that's when she got
this reputation
1471
01:44:00,146 --> 01:44:01,539
as a fashion icon.
1472
01:44:08,677 --> 01:44:11,723
I knew about Anita,
like, as an icon.
1473
01:44:12,681 --> 01:44:16,250
She was one of my heroes
before I met her.
1474
01:44:18,687 --> 01:44:20,341
man: She is a historical figure.
1475
01:44:21,690 --> 01:44:22,821
She's Anita Pallenberg
1476
01:44:23,213 --> 01:44:26,651
and this is a woman
who has lived a very intense
1477
01:44:26,651 --> 01:44:27,913
and dangerous life.
1478
01:44:31,830 --> 01:44:33,484
She had the best style.
1479
01:44:34,137 --> 01:44:37,662
I mean, I still try to
recreate that stuff.
1480
01:44:39,142 --> 01:44:42,537
It was the original
bohemian rock chick
1481
01:44:44,452 --> 01:44:47,281
that people
still aspire to today.
1482
01:44:50,284 --> 01:44:52,851
Anita did not agree
with plastic surgery.
1483
01:44:52,851 --> 01:44:56,464
She thought it was naff,
very unchic.
1484
01:44:59,162 --> 01:45:01,512
She just had such
a strong personality.
1485
01:45:02,034 --> 01:45:03,297
She didn't give a fuck.
1486
01:45:05,299 --> 01:45:07,649
And she was everything
you want a rock star to be.
1487
01:45:07,649 --> 01:45:10,739
Or like just the...
1488
01:45:10,739 --> 01:45:13,263
For me, everything you want
a woman to be.
1489
01:45:16,397 --> 01:45:19,530
You know, we are talking
about a one-off here.
1490
01:45:22,359 --> 01:45:24,143
What I loved about Anita was...
1491
01:45:24,143 --> 01:45:28,539
Well, there's a naturalness
about how she operated
1492
01:45:29,323 --> 01:45:31,890
and a sort of... almost
an innocence about it,
1493
01:45:31,890 --> 01:45:35,720
even in its most
Machiavellian form.
1494
01:45:40,334 --> 01:45:42,336
She was my woman. [laughs]
1495
01:45:42,945 --> 01:45:45,339
We stuck together
through a lot.
1496
01:45:47,689 --> 01:45:50,779
But it was
a total experiment really,
1497
01:45:52,171 --> 01:45:55,174
and it was a hell
of an experience,
1498
01:45:55,174 --> 01:45:57,742
but she made a man
out of me, and...
1499
01:46:03,618 --> 01:46:06,534
My dad's always said that,
"I've always loved your mom
1500
01:46:06,534 --> 01:46:08,231
but I just couldn't
live with her,"
1501
01:46:08,231 --> 01:46:10,581
which, I'm sure, she probably
would say the same
1502
01:46:10,581 --> 01:46:12,627
about him at the time as well.
1503
01:46:18,197 --> 01:46:19,851
Keith's a decent guy.
1504
01:46:24,247 --> 01:46:27,250
He's no angel,
but neither am I.
1505
01:46:30,427 --> 01:46:32,908
We've been through too much
together to fight.
1506
01:46:38,914 --> 01:46:41,656
He says he's probably
gonna die on stage.
1507
01:46:47,923 --> 01:46:51,448
His truth is different
to my truth.
1508
01:47:00,892 --> 01:47:02,894
It's funny how life
comes around.
1509
01:47:06,985 --> 01:47:08,770
I started acting again.
1510
01:47:10,336 --> 01:47:11,512
Where's my change?
1511
01:47:11,512 --> 01:47:12,687
What, it's $50 a piece?
1512
01:47:12,687 --> 01:47:14,471
Change?
Take your change in coconuts
1513
01:47:14,471 --> 01:47:16,430
I used to wipe your ass,
for Christ's sake.
1514
01:47:16,430 --> 01:47:17,735
Well, we're even then.
1515
01:47:27,223 --> 01:47:29,225
Get off home,
back to your mommy.
1516
01:47:29,617 --> 01:47:31,880
The moment, yeah. Oh, my God.
1517
01:47:35,361 --> 01:47:36,972
Well, it's pretty heavy.
1518
01:47:38,887 --> 01:47:42,760
I never thought I could look
even remotely like the Queen.
1519
01:47:42,760 --> 01:47:44,327
But they managed to...
1520
01:47:44,327 --> 01:47:45,589
Even now, the other day,
1521
01:47:45,894 --> 01:47:49,375
I saw it on TV and I said,
"My God, I look like her."
1522
01:47:54,946 --> 01:47:58,863
Like, I don't know, I felt part
of a social structure and such.
1523
01:47:59,298 --> 01:48:01,083
Having lunch
at the Queen's house
1524
01:48:01,083 --> 01:48:03,346
at Buckingham Palace
and all of that,
1525
01:48:03,346 --> 01:48:05,740
it's just, for me,
it's not where I come from.
1526
01:48:07,219 --> 01:48:09,526
And James Fox
from Performance...
1527
01:48:10,788 --> 01:48:12,224
Do you like my physique?
1528
01:48:13,051 --> 01:48:15,097
...he and I end up
in bed again.
1529
01:48:16,359 --> 01:48:18,013
You think people will come?
1530
01:48:19,667 --> 01:48:20,929
Of course, they will.
1531
01:48:23,497 --> 01:48:26,412
They will come to see
the greatest show on Earth.
1532
01:48:28,632 --> 01:48:30,721
The scene in bed with James Fox,
1533
01:48:30,721 --> 01:48:33,158
we kind of did that
very kind of quietly,
1534
01:48:33,158 --> 01:48:36,553
because we both kind of
were traumatized
1535
01:48:36,553 --> 01:48:38,120
by the way we look.
1536
01:48:39,730 --> 01:48:42,254
Obviously,
we've both grown older,
1537
01:48:42,254 --> 01:48:44,082
so we gotta play it all
very down
1538
01:48:44,082 --> 01:48:46,737
and didn't do any kind of
crazy things in it.
1539
01:48:46,737 --> 01:48:48,304
And so, that's fine.
1540
01:48:48,304 --> 01:48:49,523
It's just fine.
1541
01:48:52,134 --> 01:48:55,137
I hope I haven't cleaned
my dirty laundry in public,
1542
01:48:58,749 --> 01:49:02,405
but writing this has helped me
emerge in my own eyes.
1543
01:49:06,670 --> 01:49:11,196
Reading over what I've written,
I get a lump in my throat.
1544
01:49:16,811 --> 01:49:21,032
But it doesn't need to be
a doom and gloom kind of story.
1545
01:50:21,702 --> 01:50:22,746
♪ Crawling
1546
01:50:24,748 --> 01:50:28,317
♪ Over your window
You think I'm confused ♪
1547
01:50:29,579 --> 01:50:32,234
♪ I'm waiting
For the divergent wasp ♪
1548
01:50:33,278 --> 01:50:35,541
♪ To complete my current ruse
1549
01:50:37,543 --> 01:50:39,633
♪ You use a plate-glass
screen ♪
1550
01:50:41,330 --> 01:50:43,811
♪ To protect my chosen target
1551
01:50:45,160 --> 01:50:47,466
♪ But there's
An air-pellet hole ♪
1552
01:50:48,380 --> 01:50:50,905
♪ I can crawl through to you
1553
01:50:53,864 --> 01:50:56,780
♪ I am the fly in
the ointment ♪
1554
01:50:56,780 --> 01:50:59,870
♪ I can spread more disease
Than the fleas ♪
1555
01:50:59,870 --> 01:51:04,222
♪ Which nibble away
At your window display ♪
1556
01:51:07,312 --> 01:51:10,446
♪ Yes, I am the fly
In the ointment ♪
1557
01:51:10,446 --> 01:51:13,536
♪ I shake you down
To say please as you ♪
1558
01:51:13,536 --> 01:51:16,713
♪ Accept the next dose
Of disease ♪
1559
01:51:19,716 --> 01:51:25,722
♪ I am the fly, I am the fly
1560
01:51:25,722 --> 01:51:29,160
♪ Fly in the,
Fly in the ointment ♪
1561
01:51:31,946 --> 01:51:37,952
♪ I am the fly, I am the fly
1562
01:51:37,952 --> 01:51:41,259
♪ Fly in the,
Fly in the ointment ♪
1563
01:52:02,193 --> 01:52:08,025
♪ I am the fly, I am the fly
1564
01:52:08,286 --> 01:52:11,768
♪ Fly in the,
Fly in the ointment ♪
1565
01:52:14,292 --> 01:52:17,382
♪ Yes, I am the fly,
I am the fly ♪
1566
01:52:17,382 --> 01:52:20,298
♪ I am the fly, I am the fly
1567
01:52:20,298 --> 01:52:23,737
♪ Fly in the,
Fly in the ointment ♪
1568
01:52:26,652 --> 01:52:32,528
♪ I am the fly, I am the fly
1569
01:52:32,528 --> 01:52:36,271
♪ Fly in the,
Fly in the ointment ♪
1570
01:52:38,577 --> 01:52:41,624
♪ Yes, I am the fly,
I am the fly ♪
1571
01:52:41,624 --> 01:52:44,583
♪ I am the fly, I am the fly
1572
01:52:44,583 --> 01:52:48,196
♪ Fly in the,
Fly in the ointment ♪
1573
01:52:50,894 --> 01:52:52,766
♪ I am the fly