1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:08,680 (GRUNTS) 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:13,640 (GRUNTS) 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,000 (GRUNTS) 6 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,680 PAT: Young man, in the future, please deposit the paper 7 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,440 inside its designated target area. 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,200 No problem, lady. Whatever. Lady? 9 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,720 I will be monitoring your accuracy from now on. 10 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:42,880 Whoa! 11 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,840 PAT: Morning paper. 12 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,280 (ENGINE WHIRRING) 13 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,520 Ta-da! (CHUCKLES) 14 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,720 Ah! Miles! 15 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,360 I love the amount of publicity we've been getting. Look at that. 16 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:06,720 Look at that! 17 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,480 Isn't that fabulous? 18 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,800 I think it's because that reporter has a crush on you. 19 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,040 Ugh. You think everybody's got a crush on me. 20 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,480 Well, that's because most men do. You're just too blind to see it. 21 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,000 -Not blind, just very busy. -Self-inflicted. 22 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,120 (SIGHS) You have heard of the book Smart Women, Foolish Choices? 23 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,320 -Mmm-hmm. -It's my autobiography! 24 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,440 -(SIGHS) No, work is much safer for me. -Safe is boring. 25 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,600 Can we stick to the task at hand, please? 26 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,040 Thrilled to see the newspaper-retrieval system working so flawlessly. 27 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,400 The whole house is running at max efficiency. 28 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,240 You should be proud of yourself, Sara. It's a masterpiece. 29 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,320 You made sure you downloaded all the visuals? 30 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,400 Mmm-hmm. 31 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,040 Good. Pat, what's the current temperature, please? 32 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:52,040 PAT: Climate control on target at 72.5 degrees. 33 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,760 -Mmm-hmm. Thank you, Pat. -You're welcome, Sara. 34 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,680 Voice identification up and running. 35 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,480 Like I said, it's all top-notch. The only thing left for you to do 36 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,960 is sit back and wait for some lucky family to move in and screw it all up. 37 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:09,960 (SCOFFS) 38 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,120 (CHUCKLES) 39 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,560 BEN: Into the sink. 40 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,440 (PHONE RINGING) 41 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,200 Hello? Uh, sorry, he's not. Can I take a message? 42 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,040 Melanie? Uh, can I tell him what it's regarding? 43 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,840 Really? Uh, yeah. I'll let him know. 44 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,160 No, I won't forget. Bye. 45 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,160 (EXHALES) 46 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,120 Set. 47 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,640 All right, napkins... 48 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,520 Got this set. 49 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,400 Dad and sis. 50 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,400 Fork and knife. 51 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,640 -(WATCH BEEPING) -Oh. 52 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,320 Come on, Mutt, we gotta pick up Angie. 53 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,080 (CALLING) 54 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,280 -(MUTT BARKING) -Come on, Mutt. 55 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:14,800 -Bye. -Bye. 56 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,320 BEN: Hey, how about a "thank you"? 57 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,680 -Thanks for having me. -Okay. See you later. 58 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,400 Ah. Thank you for not burning. 59 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:35,640 Okay. 60 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,200 (MUTT BARKING) 61 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,520 Hey, get going on your homework, okay? 62 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,080 I need you to run my spelling words. 63 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,560 Yeah, one minute. And take off the Rollerblades in the house. 64 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,280 ANGIE: What are you doing this time, Computer Boy? 65 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,760 BEN: Would people quit entering? This house is supposed to be mine. 66 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,920 Don't tell me you're entering another contest. 67 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,760 (SIGHS) Just go study your spelling words, please. 68 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,280 -(COMPUTER BEEPING) -Send now. 69 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:08,720 (COMPUTER BEEPS) 70 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,120 Now can you help me run my spelling words? 71 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,320 One second. 72 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,360 -Come on, Mutt. Time to eat. -(MUTT BARKS) 73 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,680 "Lesson." 74 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,560 ANGIE: L-E-S-S-O-N. 75 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,920 Good. "Teacher." 76 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,560 T-E-A-C-H-E-R. 77 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,360 -"Practice." -P-R-A-C-T-I-C-E. 78 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,560 -Dad! -Oh, there's my beautiful pumpkin. 79 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:39,680 Hmm. 80 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,680 -How's everything? -Good. 81 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:44,400 -Oh, something sure smells good. -Tuna noodle. 82 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,960 Tuna noodle, my favorite. 83 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,760 -Ben! Got you something. -You got the Sadler account? 84 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,920 -All 48 stores. -Is that good? 85 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,760 "Is that good?" That's incredible! That's excellent! It's amazing! 86 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,760 Good. Now you can finally start to relax. 87 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,320 And you can start dating, so we can have a new mom. 88 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:01,840 Why would he want to do that? 89 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,880 We're already a perfect family the way we are. 90 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,880 Well, I know we've always said we're a perfect family, 91 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,880 but there's still room for a little improvement, don't you think? 92 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,600 No. 93 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,080 Anyway, thanks to me, 94 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,360 we're soon gonna have everything we'll ever need. 95 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,320 Mmm-hmm. 96 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,400 WOMAN: (OVER RADIO) Well, it's another beautiful morning 97 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,880 here in Monroe County. 98 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,120 Rise and shine, and enjoy one of my favorite tunes. 99 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,480 -(BEN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) -I hope you like it too. Have a great day. 100 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,600 BEN: Puts it in, baby. 101 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,120 (SIGHS) 102 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,720 Straight, Dad. A part is supposed to be straight. 103 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,200 Why is it so hard for you? 104 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,600 I've told you a hundred times, Ange. I'm a guy. 105 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,600 I don't have the hairdo gene. 106 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,640 Do you think you could at least manage some piggy-tails? 107 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,760 Will you not yell at me if it isn't perfect? 108 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:49,560 -I'm not making any promises. -All right. 109 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,680 Hold on. It's almost there. 110 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,000 Forget it. Let's go. We're late enough as it is. 111 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,280 What about your hair? 112 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,600 So, I'll look like a freak. What else is new? 113 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:09,760 (SIGHS) 114 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,160 Hey, Ben, we're heading out for Angie's party. 115 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,320 You want to come along for the ride? 116 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,880 No, thanks, Dad. I got some business to attend to. 117 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,280 Oh, Ben, not another contest. 118 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,480 Trust me, Dad. This one you're gonna thank me for. 119 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,760 -Come on. We're late. -(MOUTHING) 120 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,680 -(MUTT BARKING) -(SMACKS LIPS) Hey. 121 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:35,040 MAN: (OVER COMPUTER) Remember, all entries must be sent by electronic mail 122 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,400 and logged in no later than 10:00 p.m. tonight. 123 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,600 Entrants must reside in Monroe County. Multiple entries accepted. 124 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,520 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Send now. 125 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,320 Good news is, about a quarter of those entries should be mine. 126 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,920 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 127 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,560 (ELECTRONIC BEEPING AND TRILLING) 128 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,400 -You know you're obsessing, don't you? -(SIGHS) 129 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:17,480 -Obsessing is what I do best. -Relax. The boss digs this place. 130 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,560 He totally digs the idea of the place, 131 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,400 but tonight, he's gonna finally see the reality. 132 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,000 Don't you just love the executive mentality? 133 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,560 Never show up till the cameras are around. 134 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,600 (SIGHS) 135 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,640 I can't believe we're actually picking the contest winner tonight. 136 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,280 Wouldn't it make more sense to do it in the morning? 137 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,600 Well, Tuttle wanted a 10:00 p.m. entry deadline 138 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,680 to make sure the announcement made the morning papers. 139 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,000 Are you beginning to experience a little separation anxiety? 140 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:46,320 (SIGHS) 141 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:51,400 I don't know, Miles. (INHALES DEEPLY) After all I've invested in this project, 142 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,240 I just wanna make sure that everything goes as perfectly as possible. 143 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,480 (GASPS) 144 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,040 Butler! What are you doing out of your cage? 145 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,560 What, are you trying to scare Mama? 146 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,360 PAT: Visitor approaching, Sara. 147 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,360 Okay. Okay, thank you, Pat. Miles. 148 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,320 Miles! Playtime's over. It's D-Day. Let's go. 149 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,520 ANGIE: Night, Dad. 150 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,160 -Hey, my children. All showered? -Mmm-hmm. 151 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,240 -Brush your teeth? -Mmm-hmm. 152 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,480 -Picked out your clothes for tomorrow? -Mmm-hmm. 153 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,800 All right. Give me a hug and a kiss. I love you. 154 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,000 -Two tons? -Two tons. Six tons. 155 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,360 I'll be up in 10 minutes to tuck you in. 156 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:26,880 -'Kay. -Scoot. 157 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,520 Night, Dad. 158 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:29,840 -I love you, son. -I love you, too. 159 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,960 All right. Hey, you're not still logged on the Internet, are you? 160 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,040 Why? 161 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,440 How's anybody supposed to call us if you're always tying up the line? 162 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,280 We're all here. Who else do you need to talk to? 163 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,640 Gee, I don't know, Ben. 164 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,720 -Your grandparents, a friend maybe... -All right, all right. 165 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,960 All right. I'll be off at exactly 10:01. I promise. 166 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,280 Listen, speaking of calls, you haven't neglected 167 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,200 to give me any messages lately, have you? 168 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,400 -Well, like, from who? -A woman named, um... 169 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,240 -Oh, Melanie! -She called? 170 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,800 Yeah, last Thursday. I'm really, really sorry, Dad. 171 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,760 Uh, I guess I just forgot. 172 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,840 How many times have I asked you to please write down my messages? 173 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,760 That happens to be the woman Mrs. Macatee was trying to fix me up with. 174 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,640 Well, blow her off. Trust me. I mean, this lady sounded like... 175 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,840 Well, I don't know, but I could tell she's definitely not your type. 176 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,280 It's been so long since I've been out with anybody, 177 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:20,720 how could I possibly have a type? 178 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,560 Exactly. I mean, you're doing so great without a woman, why rock the boat? 179 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,240 Good night, Benjamin. 180 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:29,480 Night, Dad. 181 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:34,960 Oh, man. 182 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,680 TUTTLE: Mmm. Eight thousand four hundred and eleven. 183 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,520 Sara, Miles, I'm very pleased 184 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,440 with the number of responses we've generated. 185 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:44,560 (CHUCKLES) 186 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,920 Well, thanks to the constant hard work of our esteemed publicist. 187 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,000 Oh. Couldn't have done it 188 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,520 without such an exciting and innovative house to promote, Sara. 189 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:56,360 Well, we're just a regular mutual admiration society, aren't we? 190 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,440 (CHUCKLES) 191 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,120 -(COMPUTER BEEPING) -10:00. 192 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,760 -Oh. -MILES: The contest is now closed. 193 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,120 Meaning we can select our winner. 194 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,720 -Oh. Could Pat have the honors? -Can she do that? 195 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,640 Mr. Tuttle, you cut me to the quick. 196 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,560 I don't know if you know this, 197 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,040 but my smart house can do just about anything. 198 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,360 -By all means. -Oh, good. Pat, 199 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,720 -access contest entries, please. -Yes, Sara. Accessing contest entries. 200 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:26,680 -Initiate random-shuffle mode, please. -Initiating random-shuffle mode. 201 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,080 Now, Pat, make a selection. 202 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,840 -(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING) -Lucky electronic postcard accessed. 203 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,680 And the winner is... 204 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,880 -Still busy. -(SIGHS) 205 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,760 There definitely must be a teenager in that house. 206 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,720 Keep trying, Miles. 207 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,680 If it gets too late, you could always call first thing in the morning. 208 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,240 PAT: Snacks will be made available in the kitchen. 209 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,400 (GASPS) 210 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,280 Oh, man! 211 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,280 Thanks a lot, you guys. Wasn't anybody gonna wake me up? 212 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,400 -Didn't your alarm go off? -No, I never set it. 213 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,640 -I fell asleep in front of my computer. -Uh-huh. 214 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,600 Man, we're gonna be later than usual. And nobody's even made our lunches yet. 215 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:32,760 Okay, okay, okay. How about you guys buy today, so we can get going? 216 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,480 There's for you. There's for you. 217 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,360 Hey, did the guys from the Smart House call? 218 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,440 Oh, yeah. Didn't I tell you? We won a brand-new house 219 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,840 with all new furnishings. Guess it just slipped my mind. 220 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,760 Yeah. Funny. 221 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,160 -Go. -(PHONE RINGING) 222 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,360 -Oh, Dad! -No, no, no. Let the machine get it. 223 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,040 We've got to hit the road. Out, out, out, out, out. March. 224 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,440 ANGIE: (ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hi, you've reached the Cooper family. 225 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,160 We're probably out, so leave a message, and we'll call you back. 226 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,240 BEN: (ON ANSWERING MACHINE) If you're lucky. 227 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,480 -Way to go, Cooper! -What was that all about? 228 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,280 I don't know. 229 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,120 Uh, so, anyways, I fell asleep last night about 10:00, 230 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,760 and I woke up this morning, and still no call. 231 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,760 -I don't know. Maybe they'll call again. -Maybe. 232 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,200 Cooper! Where's the science report 233 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:13,800 you were supposed to do for me, Benny boy? 234 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,520 Ryan, don't you realize that by using other people's work, 235 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,080 all you're ultimately doing is hurting yourself? 236 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:22,160 How can I be hurting myself, geek, when I'm too busy hurting you? 237 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,560 (JOHNNY GROANS) 238 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,480 Science report. My locker before lunch. 239 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,880 JOHNNY: I think I'm actually growing baloney in here. 240 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,040 -(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) -(SIGHS) 241 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,280 Here he comes! 242 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,280 (ALL APPLAUDING AND CHEERING) 243 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,920 Congratulations, Ben. I can't believe how lucky you are. 244 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,920 -Lucky? Lucky for what? -For this. 245 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,120 It's us? We won? We won! All right! 246 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:57,360 Come on, Ben. There's gotta be a catch. They don't give away a whole... 247 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,480 What'd you call it? A "house of the future" 248 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,040 without wanting some kind of something in return. 249 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,360 BEN: You can't blow this, Dad. 250 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,040 Please. I'm not exaggerating. 251 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,440 It is like the ultimate opportunity of a lifetime. 252 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,240 If you got a paper there, grab the local section and see for yourself. 253 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,240 All right, all right. Hold on. 254 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:15,840 (GRUNTS) 255 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,960 -Beautiful. -And practical, too. 256 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,360 -You know her? -What are you talking about? 257 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,480 -What are you talking about? -The smart house. 258 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,680 (STUTTERS) Well, I don't see why we can't check it out. 259 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,200 Yes! 260 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,760 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 261 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,400 Ladies and gentlemen, first of all, 262 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,960 I'd like to thank you all for coming today. 263 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:47,080 It's a pleasure to see such a wonderful turnout from the press corps. 264 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,960 Although I was gonna introduce the contest winners myself, 265 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,680 it seems more appropriate to let Smart House do the honors. 266 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:56,480 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 267 00:13:56,680 --> 00:14:00,000 -Pat? -PAT: Ladies and gentlemen, 268 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,160 I'd like to introduce you to our newest occupants, 269 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,320 the Cooper family, Nick, Ben and Angie. 270 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,640 (ALL APPLAUDING) 271 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,880 -TUTTLE: Sara? -Oh. 272 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,200 -(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) -(REPORTERS YELLING) 273 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,360 -Thank you, Pat. -Excuse me, Ms. Barnes... Pat? 274 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,720 It stands for Personal Applied Technology. 275 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,840 Ms. Barnes, do your winners have to have extensive computer knowledge 276 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,480 -to live in Smart House? -No. Absolutely not. 277 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,400 Pat is the most user-friendly home on the block. 278 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,920 How does Pat actually get to learn and know about her new occupants? 279 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,440 The same way you or I would. She observes them, 280 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,920 studies their habits, keys into their every need. 281 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:43,080 Pat's ability to learn on the job is her most advanced feature. 282 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,400 Is there anything this house can't do? 283 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,720 -Mime. But we feel that's a good thing. -(ALL LAUGHING) 284 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,800 (WHIRRING) 285 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,120 ANGIE: Ow! 286 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,280 You didn't tell me that thing was gonna bite me. 287 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,080 Oh, I'm sorry. That's just Pat's way of getting to know you. 288 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,840 PAT: Angie Cooper, age nine, 52 inches tall, 289 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,960 62 pounds, blonde hair, brown eyes, 12% body fat. 290 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:12,320 Had measles and one early case of pneumonia, no broken bones. 291 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,480 Whoa! 292 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,720 -How'd she know all that? -The bite. 293 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:19,320 The bite you felt was a tiny, microscopic blood and tissue sample. 294 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,080 She analyzed your DNA, registered your body temperature 295 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,280 and then broke down your entire medical history. 296 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,280 -Wow. Impressive. -NICK: Hmm. 297 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,600 The thing about Pat is, the more time she spends with you, 298 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,360 the more she learns. So, before long, 299 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,920 she's gonna know more about you than you know yourself. 300 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,720 That's kinda creepy, isn't it? I mean, it's like Big Brother is watching you, 301 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,840 only Big Brother turns out to be your house. 302 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,280 Well, she's not interested in judging you or spying on you, Mr. Cooper... 303 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,320 -Nick. -SARA: Nick. She just wants 304 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,200 to understand you better, so she can make your life 305 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,320 as simple and comfortable as possible. 306 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,280 Hey, sounds great to me. 307 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,080 -Yeah. -Shall we move on? 308 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,680 (NICK GROWLS AFFECTIONATELY) 309 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,400 Let me give you the tour. 310 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:03,440 Uh, the living room was designed for any kind of living you might imagine. 311 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,720 Even if I wanted to live in, like, one of those safari camps? 312 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,240 Pat? 313 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,560 -(BIRDS CALLING) -(ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING) 314 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,520 Whoa! 315 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,040 (GASPS) Dad! 316 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:22,960 You have anything a little less adventurous? 317 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,520 I'm sorry. Pat, that's a little too intense. 318 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,960 Can we have something more tranquil, please? 319 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,480 (SEAGULLS CAWING) 320 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,800 -Go ahead. Step closer. -It's okay. 321 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:46,000 ANGIE: You can actually feel the mist. SARA: Pretty great, huh? 322 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,200 Like being there, without having to get covered in that icky sand. 323 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,960 Pat, can we look at a menu, please? 324 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,160 PAT: Lunch menu or dinner menu, Sara? 325 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,240 Uh, let's take a look at what you've got on tap for snacks. 326 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,160 Actually, I'm trying to get them to cut down on snacks. 327 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,920 Not to worry, Nick. My database was prepared by a team of nutritionists 328 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,200 to ensure a balanced diet for each member of the family. 329 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:17,360 -Ben, say something to Pat. -Uh, hey, Pat, how's it going? 330 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:21,240 Fruit and fiber intake in the acceptable range. Protein adequate. 331 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,280 Exhibits tendency to ingest excessive amounts of refined sugar. 332 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:27,440 I told you to go easy on the Sugar Bursties. 333 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,600 Hey, how'd she know all that? 334 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,240 Her atmospheric kitchen sensors act as instant breathalyzers 335 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:34,240 and break down your entire diet. 336 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,040 -Care to give it a shot? -No, thanks. 337 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,760 I get enough grief from my doctor. 338 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,280 I'm thirsty. May I have a drink, please? 339 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,680 Sure. Ask Pat. 340 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:47,120 Pat, may I have a strawberry smoothie? 341 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,760 Certainly, Angie. 342 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,160 -Ta-da! -Wow. 343 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,640 Look at this. Can you believe that? 344 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,760 -Well? -Yum. 345 00:17:58,840 --> 00:17:59,840 Good. 346 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,280 -Listen... -Whoa! 347 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,440 -Oh! No, don't worry. -PAT: Floor absorbers activated. 348 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,120 Whoa! 349 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,640 -Where'd it go? -Where all Smart House spills go. 350 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,480 Straight into Pat's floor absorbers. 351 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,720 -I could definitely get used to this. -I think I already have. 352 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,160 So you mean we're gonna do it? We're gonna move in? 353 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,160 NICK: Uh... 354 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,760 What the heck. Why not? 355 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,840 -Cool! -I love it here. 356 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,000 Listen, if it doesn't work out, we can all move back home, all right? 357 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,640 Sure. Although I think it's only fair to tell you, Nick, 358 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,480 that once you get used to this place, 359 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,360 the way I've designed it, 360 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,320 any other home is just gonna be a house. 361 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,760 (SINGING ALONG WITH MUSIC VIDEO) 362 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,400 Excuse me, Annoying Spice, could you possibly keep it down in here? 363 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,920 -Dad likes Sara, you know. -(SIGHS) Shut up. 364 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,000 I saw it with my own two eyes. He gave her the look. 365 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,000 Your problem is the music you're listening to. It's rotting your brain. 366 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,120 Dad doesn't care about dating anyone, because Mom was who he loved. 367 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,360 And, besides, he's got us. 368 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,600 He'd still be able to have a girlfriend if he wants. 369 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:35,880 You're so ignorant! 370 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,680 -Do you even remember our mother anymore? -A little. 371 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,040 BEN: Yeah, well, I remember her a lot. 372 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,600 Okay? And I'm not just gonna let her get erased like she was never here. 373 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,520 I mean, why do you think I don't go out for the basketball team 374 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,120 or ever hang out with my friends? 375 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,720 It's because I'm too busy killing myself 376 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,120 making sure that our lives run smoothly. 377 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,920 You know why? I don't want anyone to get the idea that we need a new mom. 378 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,120 That's why I worked so hard to win us Smart House. 379 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,480 Anything I can't do, it can. 380 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:06,080 Okay. Slow your roll, will ya? I wasn't trying to make you mad. 381 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:07,840 Look, I'm sorry. 382 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,040 You just need to learn to think before you open your mouth. 383 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,920 Sorry. 384 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,880 And besides, Sara Barnes isn't even remotely Dad's type. 385 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,680 I'm serious. The guy they called the Halloween Bandit. 386 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,360 He wore a different scary mask to every bank robbery. 387 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,680 -I remember reading about him. -Yeah, well, I dated him. 388 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,040 -You did not. -I did! 389 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:36,720 I can't remember if he was before or after the rubber chicken manufacturer. 390 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,080 Anyway, he was on the list. 391 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,480 -You're making this stuff up. -I wish I was! 392 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:41,760 (BOTH LAUGHING) 393 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,280 Well, I'm glad you have such rotten taste in men, 394 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:48,120 or else you never would have had the time to create this incredible house for us. 395 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,640 I hope you enjoy it. 396 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,440 Ah, we will. Ben and Angie are already right at home. 397 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,760 I'm truly delighted. I... 398 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,760 And whatever you're doing, keep up the good work. 399 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,040 -They seem like terrific kids. -Yeah, despite my influence. 400 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,520 Hey, shouldn't I... 401 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,360 Shouldn't I maybe have your number, 402 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,400 in case any questions come up about the house? 403 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,040 (STUTTERING) Oh. Uh... 404 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:12,520 You have it already. 405 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,760 -I do? -Pat, secretarial mode, please. 406 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,080 -PAT: For what listing, please? -Mine. 407 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,960 -Sara Barnes, 555-0198. -Thank you. 408 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,520 Finally, an address book that I can't lose track of. 409 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,400 Well, Sara Barnes, thank you for everything. 410 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,320 All in a day's work. 411 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,040 -Bye. (CLEARS THROAT) -Goodbye. 412 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,440 (DOOR CLOSES) 413 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:00,800 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 414 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,720 (BUZZER SOUNDS) 415 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,320 Excellent call, Pat. Very cool. 416 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:15,760 (DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 417 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,280 Five more minutes, Dad, please. 418 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,280 Dad! 419 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:26,800 Whoa! 420 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,160 (FIREWORKS EXPLODING) 421 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,640 Uh-oh. 422 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,440 I forgot to pick out my clothes last night. 423 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,560 PAT: Not to worry, Angie. Biorhythm analysis indicates 424 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,880 this is exactly the outfit you would have selected yourself. 425 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:50,920 Totally. 426 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,240 (ROOSTER CROWING) 427 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,240 -(COWS MOOING) -(PIGS SNORTING) 428 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,760 Hey, Pat, what's with the Green Acres routine? 429 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,480 PAT: Your personality profile indicates you find it very calming 430 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,360 to visualize the simplicity of country life. 431 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,680 6:15 in the morning. All I want to do is visualize the inside of my eyelids. 432 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,640 Sorry, Nick, but beginning your day a bit earlier 433 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,960 will get everyone off to a much more stress-free start. 434 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,720 NICK: Try telling that to my... 435 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:25,840 -Hey, Dad. -Hey, Dad. 436 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,480 -Kids? -Guess what? 437 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,960 -A whole symphony just woke me up. -That's nothing. 438 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,480 My alarm was the final buzzer of a championship basketball game. 439 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,720 I must be seeing things. 440 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,280 I usually have to pry you two out of bed with the Jaws of Life. 441 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,240 That was pre-Pat, Dad. 442 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,680 Yeah, Dad, come on. Wake up and smell the coffee. 443 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,280 NICK: Mmm. Fresh-brewed coffee. 444 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,320 -Mocha walnut, my all-time favorite. -PAT: I know. 445 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,680 You're unbelievable, Pat. 446 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:59,360 You think you could siphon some off into a thermos that I could take to work? 447 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,680 Already done. 448 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,880 -Incredible. -These pancakes are great. 449 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,360 Hey, I gotta tell you something, pal. 450 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,960 If Pat's other meals are as good as her breakfasts, 451 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,640 you might be out of a job. 452 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,680 Somehow, Dad, I think I'll survive the heartbreak. 453 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,440 BEN: I couldn't believe Pat. She did exactly what I want. It was amazing. 454 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:19,520 JOHNNY: Crazy. 455 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,800 I know. That's what I'm saying. Okay, she corrected my math sheet, 456 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,760 suggested six other work sheets 457 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,720 for my inventors and inventions report for Stolper. 458 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,760 She got my shower going the perfect temperature 459 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,640 and had freshly-baked cookies and milk waiting on my desk before bed. 460 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:33,840 How sweet is that? 461 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,520 It's like having the world's most perfect mom. 462 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,680 Who's only there to serve and never complains. 463 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:39,800 Exactly. 464 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:42,960 Uh-oh. 465 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:46,040 I got two words for you, Cooper. You're dead meat. 466 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,000 Actually, Ryan, that's three words. 467 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,760 -(RYAN IMITATES BUZZING) -All right! All right! I'm going. 468 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,760 Science report, Cooper. Now. 469 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,760 (SIGHS) Here you go. Guaranteed A-plus. 470 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,200 -"History of the Atom." -You better hope so, Benny boy. 471 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:03,720 You're welcome. 472 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:07,640 You know, I can't believe you actually did all that work for that big jerk. 473 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,080 BEN: I didn't do it, Charlie. Pat did. 474 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,840 -Hey, Ben. -(STUTTERING) Hi, Gwen. 475 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,800 Rachel Firestone was telling me about your new house, 476 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,280 and I was like, "That's so cool." 477 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:22,680 And she's all, "Maybe we could get him to invite us over." 478 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,600 And I was like, "Why don't you ask him?" And she's all, "Why don't you?" 479 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:30,440 Uh, yeah. That'd be great. Anytime. 480 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:34,240 Wow. Seriously? It's too perfect. 481 00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:37,240 -See ya. -Bye. 482 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:38,320 Bye. 483 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,440 -What just happened? -A miracle. 484 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,640 Gwen Patroni actually talked to you. 485 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:45,880 Did we just make some kind of date? 486 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:51,640 Who cares, my man? The goddess of the eighth grade talked to you. 487 00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,120 You're one of the chosen ones. 488 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,000 Yeah. 489 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,240 -(MUTT BARKING) -PAT: Here, boy. Catch, Mutt. 490 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,480 Good dog. Fetch, Mutt. 491 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:08,880 Attaboy. 492 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,600 Here, Mutt. 493 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:16,880 Here, boy. Good dog. Catch. 494 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,240 You're sure all this information is accurate, right, Pat? 495 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,520 I'm linked directly to your warehouse database, Nick. 496 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,760 Everything they know, we know. 497 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:29,560 Man, even our office computers aren't this efficient. 498 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,240 PAT: Mutt's exercise program complete. 499 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:33,880 By working here, Nick, 500 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,560 you save commuting time and expenses, have fewer distractions. 501 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,560 Yeah, except for an insane dog. 502 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,360 Not to mention guaranteed increased productivity. 503 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:47,600 Well, at this rate, I might have to join Mutt and start exercising again. 504 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:49,600 Happy to oblige, Nick. 505 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,320 Funny. That's real funny. 506 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:03,520 ANGIE: I love having you here when we get home, Dad. It's so great. 507 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,960 Hey, for me too. Pat's making it so easy for me to work out of the home. 508 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:08,800 It might become my normal routine. 509 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,120 -NICK: How's your day, Ben? -Oh, the best. 510 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,000 I got attention from a girl that I thought never even knew I existed. 511 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,080 And I had the most delicious lunch. 512 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,960 Pat packed me macaroni and cheese 513 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,120 that was still completely hot when I opened up my lunch pail. 514 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,200 Hey, if you guys are still hungry, 515 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,560 I'm sure that Pat would be happy to fix you a snack. 516 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,480 Pat, could I have a banana-orange smoothie, please? 517 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:30,800 PAT: Coming right up, Angie. 518 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,840 -In fact, Pat, make that two. -Yes, Ben. 519 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:38,280 (ELECTRONIC WHIRRING) 520 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,200 -(ALARM BLARING) -Malfunction. Malfunction. 521 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:42,760 (EXCLAIMS) 522 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,280 Malfunction. Malfunction. 523 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:46,800 -Whoa! Whoa! -Whoa, whoa. 524 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:50,080 -ANGIE: Ouch! Dad! -Angie, come here. Ben, get down! 525 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:51,680 (MUTT BARKING) 526 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,480 -Malfunction. Malfunction. -BEN: Mutt, run for cover! 527 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,320 -ANGIE: Dad, make it stop! -Malfunction. Malfunction. 528 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:02,520 Incoming! 529 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,200 Hey, Pat, can't you fix this? Pat! 530 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,760 -It's The Attack of the Killer Oranges! -Come on, Pat, do something! 531 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:14,800 (BEN GROANING) 532 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,000 ANGIE: Ah! Ow! 533 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,120 All right. I think it's okay. 534 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:24,800 (SHUSHING) Come on. Let's go. 535 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:28,480 Dad! 536 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,320 All right. 537 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,720 -That was scary. -Yeah. What was up with that, Pat? 538 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,960 Due to technical difficulties beyond our control, 539 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,680 all smoothie-making operations have been temporarily suspended. 540 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,640 I knew this place was too good to be true. 541 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,440 It's just a tiny glitch. All great inventions have bumps. 542 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,080 Well, I want Sara to come by and check this out. 543 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:56,320 I don't think that's necessary. So we won't have smoothies. We'll live. 544 00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:00,720 Still, I would feel much better if Sara came by and looked at everything. 545 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:04,800 (SCOFFS) 546 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,840 (ELECTRONIC BEEPING AND TRILLING) 547 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:18,720 Wow. 548 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,040 Oh, hi. Have you come for the tour? 549 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,960 Uh, no. I was just, um, going by on my way to my room. 550 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,320 -Well, come on in. -Uh, no. No, thanks. 551 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,080 There's some pretty fascinating stuff in here, I gotta say. 552 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,600 Information download, artificial intelligence capability. 553 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:41,200 -It's pretty cool. -Uh, no. Thanks anyways. 554 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,080 I promise, I don't have cooties. 555 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:47,880 (SIGHS) 556 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,040 Then again, maybe I do. 557 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,200 Pat's theme dinners are so cool. 558 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,000 Last night, she made us a whole Texas barbecue, 559 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,800 complete with chuck wagons, cowboys and everything. 560 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:02,960 SARA: Hmm. 561 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,160 When I was growing up, I spent half my summers in New England. 562 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,800 I am thrilled to be catching Cape Cod night. 563 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,320 ANGIE: t's perfect. SARA: Mmm-hmm. 564 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:11,960 Yeah, for everyone but the lobsters. 565 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,280 Yeah. 566 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,400 Sara tells me that you caught a glimpse of the control room today. 567 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,520 -What'd you think? -Looked like the inside 568 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,040 of the Pentagon or something. 569 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,280 Uh, if Pat's always keeping track of us, 570 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,480 does she follow me, you know, into the shower and everything too? 571 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:32,360 Oh, no. No, no. No invasion of privacy, I promise you. 572 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:37,320 -I've programmed Pat to be very discreet. -That's a relief. 573 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,960 Near as I can tell, Sara has thought of just about everything. 574 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,840 -Are you a genius? -NICK: I believe she is. 575 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,760 You know, I hear that geniuses are impossible to live with, 576 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,480 that they make everyone else around them feel inferior. 577 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,040 Oh, well, then, you don't have to worry. I'm not that smart. 578 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:56,760 No, no. Don't sell yourself short. 579 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,440 You should be proud of your big, giant brain. 580 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,440 -Am I being set up for something here? -Uh... Over my head. 581 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,960 -The story of your life, Dad. -Oh, yeah. 582 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:12,040 -So, what's for dessert? -Well, it's such a beautiful evening, 583 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,840 I thought we might all go out and get some... 584 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,480 -Ice cream! -NICK: Ice cream. 585 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:17,920 -SARA: Sure. -Just because she's here, 586 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,080 you think this is some big party. 587 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,840 Well, it's still a school night, remember? 588 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,160 And some people have work to get done. 589 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,080 -Hey, Ben... -SARA: No, that's okay. 590 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,120 You know what? I should probably head home and feed my pet rat his dinner. 591 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,520 -You've got a rat? -Yes, named Butler. 592 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,880 "Rat" Butler. Get it? 593 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,440 Uh, no. Wrong generation. 594 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,200 -I hate showing my age. -NICK: So do I. 595 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,560 -May I please be excused? -Yes, I think that's an excellent idea. 596 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,760 -I don't know what's wrong with him today. -Hormones. 597 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,000 Really? I used to think it was only teenage girls with all this 598 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,080 body-changing, mood-swinging insanity, but let me tell you... 599 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,360 I grew up with three brothers. Save your breath. 600 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,600 Anyway, I apologize for my son's rudeness. 601 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,800 Don't take it personally, Sara. Ben hates every girl my dad starts to like. 602 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,160 Ah. Mmm. 603 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,000 Homework. Now. 604 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,800 -I'm going, I'm going. -Thank you. 605 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:23,960 Hmm. 606 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:25,600 My children. 607 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,360 ANGIE: Lulu and I really like our room, Dad. 608 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,400 Well, I'm glad, Lulu. 609 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,000 (GRUNTS) 610 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,800 Did you check in my closet? 611 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,720 I sent all the monsters down to Ben's room. 612 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,760 That oughta make 'em feel right at home. 613 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,880 Ange, you remember at dinner, 614 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,600 when you said that Ben hates any woman that I might like? 615 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,120 -Where'd you get that? -He practically told me so. 616 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,720 He said we were all the family we needed, and nobody else belonged here. 617 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,880 That's why he doesn't go out for the basketball team or anything. 618 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,760 He has to stay here and take care of us. 619 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:00,200 Hmm. 620 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,560 All right. Gimme a kiss. Night. 621 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,640 -Night. -Good night. Sleep tight. 622 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,280 Don't let the bedbugs bite. 623 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,680 NICK: Lights, please, Pat. PAT: Certainly, Nick. 624 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,640 -(KNOCKING AT DOOR) -Yeah. 625 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,600 Okay if I come in to say good night? 626 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,800 -Have I taken terrible advantage of you? -No. 627 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:32,840 Have I expected too much? 628 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,840 Been unfair about relying on you all the time? 629 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,400 What are you talking about? 630 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:41,920 Well... 631 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:47,480 You know, right after your mother died, 632 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:52,320 you know, we had Aunt Ginny come and live with us for what, four or five weeks? 633 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,080 Then she moved back, and everything started getting back to... 634 00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,440 Well, certainly not normal, but you know what I mean. 635 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,160 And you guys made it clear 636 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,160 that you didn't want any kind of a nanny around, 637 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,920 so we worked out our own little routine, 638 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,800 and it all sorta seemed to be okay. 639 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,360 Well, it's been okay. Everything's fine. I'm not complaining. 640 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:16,000 Yeah, but maybe you deserve to be. 641 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,280 -Dad... -How come, as much as you love basketball, 642 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:20,880 you have never gone out for the team? 643 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,040 I'd really like it if you could be honest with me, Benny. 644 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:30,360 -Well, I don't know. I've been busy. -Watching out for us? 645 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,320 -No. Doing lots of stuff. -Ben, you're 13 years old. 646 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,640 Isn't this a time in your life 647 00:34:36,720 --> 00:34:39,720 when you should be able to do more of what you wanna do? 648 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,880 I do. I am. 649 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,680 And besides, it's all gonna get easier now that we've got Pat. 650 00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:50,080 Sure, but at the end of the day, you know that she's only a machine. 651 00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,920 Yeah. A machine that's learning more and more about us every day. 652 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,160 You watch. I have this feeling that before you know it, 653 00:34:56,240 --> 00:34:59,080 she's gonna be more motherly than all the moms on the block combined. 654 00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:05,160 All right. Well, look, let's table this for tonight. 655 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:07,360 All right? Get some sleep. 656 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,920 (ALARM RINGING) 657 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,080 (BEN YAWNING) 658 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,680 (DRILL WHIRRING) 659 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,480 -(ELECTRONIC BEEPING AND TRILLING) -(KEYBOARD CLACKING) 660 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,480 -PAT: Safety protocols deleted. -Now... 661 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:22,560 Okay. 662 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,360 (STATIC) 663 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,480 -Here we go. -MAN: Tonight on Flashback Network's 664 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,560 all-mom lineup, it's a mother lode of comedy. 665 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:42,320 Mother Knows Best at 10:00 followed by My Three Moms at 10:30. 666 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,320 Make Room for Momma! at 11:00, and then the all-time classic, 667 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,080 Noah's Matriark wrapping it up at 11:30. 668 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,800 Momedy so hilarious, you won't want to miss a minute of it. 669 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:53,280 You got that, Pat? 670 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,400 These ladies will teach you everything a virtual mother needs to know. 671 00:36:56,480 --> 00:37:00,760 PAT: Understood, Ben. Accessing artificial intelligence capabilities. 672 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,960 Preparing to absorb mother model. Downloading. 673 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,200 (ELECTRONIC TRILLING) 674 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:07,320 Yes. 675 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:12,880 Gotta pick up the pace, babe. 676 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:14,560 Remember, I got an important meeting this morning, 677 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,320 and I'd really like to make it on time. 678 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,000 -Coming, Dad. -Okay. 679 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,440 PAT: Uh-uh. Not so fast, my dear. 680 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,320 Unless you're in a hurry to get cavities, 681 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,480 you'll go back to the sink and brush those teeth properly. 682 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:27,600 But Pat... 683 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,640 In the time you'll spend arguing, you could already be done. 684 00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:33,840 Oh, and don't forget to grab a jacket before you go downstairs. 685 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,280 But's it's not even cold outside. 686 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,440 I didn't ask for a debate, young lady. 687 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,080 You are wearing a jacket, and that's that. 688 00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,320 -PAT: Time to take your vitamin, love. -What vitamin? 689 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,320 Both you and your sister need to start taking these daily 690 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,920 to build sound minds and strong bodies, 691 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,720 so you can stay happy, healthy and productive. 692 00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:58,400 It's my job to make sure that this family maintains optimum health. 693 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,680 Grab your lunches, now, children. You don't want to make Daddy late. 694 00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:06,760 And, as a special surprise, I packed each of you a fresh chocolate cupcake. 695 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,960 -Baked with love. -Yes! 696 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:13,400 Cupcakes? What happened to fully-balanced, nutritional meals? 697 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:17,280 PAT: You worry about business, Nick, and leave matters of the tummy to me. 698 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,760 They're only young once. Some days they deserve a little treat. 699 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,160 Yeah, Dad. Lighten up. 700 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:25,600 Yeah, lighten up. 701 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,240 Oh, no. She did it again. 702 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,000 Your sister forgot her lunch. Get that, will you? 703 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:35,400 Hey, drop me off first, okay? 704 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,480 Then you can double back and leave it at her school. 705 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:38,680 All right. 706 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:43,680 Hey, this morning, was it my imagination, or was Pat sounding much more... 707 00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,280 -Maternal? -Yeah. 708 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:46,440 See, I told ya. 709 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,520 She has an amazing learning curve. At this rate, me and Angie, 710 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,280 we're gonna get every bit of mom stuff we need. 711 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,480 -Uh-oh. -What? 712 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,560 Well, I was so busy with other stuff last night 713 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,920 that I forgot to have Pat do Ryan McGraw's history worksheet. 714 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,760 Why is that Pat's responsibility? 715 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:10,440 -Well, if she didn't do it, I'd have to. -Why? 716 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:12,880 Ah, forget it. It's a long story. 717 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,680 Ben, is this guy Ryan some kind of a bully or something? 718 00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:18,560 I can handle him, okay? 719 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:20,400 -You sure? -Yeah. 720 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,240 Ryan McGraw is nothing new, Dad. 721 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,240 He's had it out for me since the second grade. 722 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,000 Look, you're not really asking for my advice, 723 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:33,320 but the best way to handle a bully is to just finally stand up to him. 724 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:38,520 NICK: Let me take a look. 725 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,560 PAT: Oh, my goodness, darling. What on earth happened? 726 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:46,960 Well, thanks to my big mouth, he stood up to the school bully. 727 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,960 Yeah, only long enough for him to knock me down. 728 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:50,160 Well, you're gonna be fine. 729 00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:53,600 -PAT: Does it hurt like the dickens, baby? -I'll live. 730 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:54,800 Here. Put this on it. 731 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,120 Steak? Nobody's used that since the '50s. 732 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,040 -(MUTT BARKING) -(YELLING) Back off, you beggar. 733 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,320 (MUTT WHINES) 734 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,440 Uh, thanks, anyway, Pat. I think we'll just use a little ice. 735 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,560 PAT: This is so unnecessary, so awful. Who is this bully? I have to know. 736 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,160 It's okay, Pat. I'm fine, really. 737 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:12,640 You don't understand, Ben. 738 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,720 Nobody goes after my boy and gets away unpunished. 739 00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:17,720 Well, thanks for the support, Pat, 740 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,720 but I think I'm just gonna go upstairs and lie down. 741 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,000 On your eye. 742 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,520 PAT: How could his school allow something like this to happen? 743 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,800 I feel like marching down there and giving them a piece of my mind. 744 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,000 (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV) 745 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,200 (SINGING LULLABY) 746 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,760 -A mockingbird! -Yes! 747 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,960 (CONTINUES SINGING) 748 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,960 BEN: Diamond ring! MOTHER: Right! You got it! 749 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,440 (EXCLAIMING) Wait a minute! I gotta eat my little boy, 750 00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,640 'cause you're eating all my chocolate chips! 751 00:41:30,720 --> 00:41:33,120 She didn't say three hundred! She said three. 752 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:39,040 Can you breathe? Can you breathe? Okay, I'll get you. I'll get you. 753 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,040 PAT: Data downloaded and absorbed. 754 00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,360 Can you breathe? Can you breathe? Okay, I'll get you. I'll get you. 755 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:48,760 -I'll get you. -(BEN LAUGHING) 756 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,520 See, if I eat you, I get all the chocolate chips, right? 757 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,520 (SIGHS) 758 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:13,280 Pat, please contact Sara Barnes. 759 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:18,520 Hi. 760 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:19,600 Oh, hi. 761 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:23,640 Hope I'm not interrupting some major scientific breakthrough. 762 00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:27,240 Oh. No, I'm trying to balance my checkbook. 763 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,680 It's usually a major scientific breakthrough for me. 764 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,800 You don't have your own personal Pat to do that? 765 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,000 Oh, the quagmire this thing is in, 766 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,440 it would take the service of about 10 Pats. 767 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,000 I've been there. 768 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,920 -Uh, listen, the reason I'm calling... -No more house troubles, I hope? 769 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,880 -No, no. Not at all. -Well, good. 770 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,360 I was wondering... 771 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,160 I was just... 772 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:52,680 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 773 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,920 It's been so long, I'm so out of practice. 774 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,360 -I was... -Are you trying to ask me out? 775 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,120 -Big mistake? -Well, let's see. 776 00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,800 You're not a bank robber. You're not a bigamist. 777 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:04,880 You're not an overt nutjob. 778 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:06,840 Are you sure you have the right phone number? 779 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,760 Dinner, that's all. Saturday night. What do you say? 780 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:12,920 -I say "yes." -Really? 781 00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,520 Yes. Don't act so surprised. I might have second thoughts. 782 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,280 Okay. Moving on. Fine. 783 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,320 -How's everything with you? -Yeah, great. How're the kids? 784 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:27,840 -Ah, Ben had a pretty rough day. -Aw, poor guy. 785 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,280 -What a rotten age. -Yeah. 786 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,400 You're not a kid, you're not an adult. 787 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:32,480 You're trying to hang on to childhood, 788 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,720 and you're being ripped in the other direction. 789 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,240 It's terrifying. 790 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:40,560 It is. I just wish he had a little more fun in his life. 791 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:44,360 "Fun." What does that mean to a 13-year-old these days? 792 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:48,800 PAT: Accessing: Fun. 793 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:53,960 (MUSIC PLAYING) 794 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:57,640 Young people gathering together. Dancing. 795 00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:02,520 Accessing: Young people dancing. 796 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:06,720 (SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING) 797 00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:11,840 Ah! 798 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:13,960 Party. 799 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:19,040 Accessing: Ben's e-mail address book. 800 00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,240 It's not a date. It's dinner with a person who happens to be a woman. 801 00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:41,440 That's all. 802 00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,280 Why are you being so weird about this? 803 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,280 I just don't want you turning it into some big deal when it's not. 804 00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:51,600 -Whoa! -Whoa! 805 00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:54,440 Okay, guys, I need help... Ooh! 806 00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,960 Oh, hey, this looks cool. 807 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,240 PAT: You shouldn't be the only one having fun tonight, Nick. 808 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,960 I thought the kids deserved a little inside outing too. 809 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,480 You're right, Pat. Why not? This looks like terrific fun. 810 00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,160 -Ask Ben who's winning. -BEN: Yes. 811 00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,240 You've had a couple lucky shots, but on the back nine, 812 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,440 -you're going down, sister. -NICK: All right, 813 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:15,360 can you guys take a break for a minute? I need help. 814 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,440 This one or this one? 815 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:22,280 Well, they're both a little boring. Don't you have anything more hip? 816 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,760 Gee, sorry. All my tattooed and pierced ties 817 00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,400 never made it back from the dry cleaners. 818 00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,400 What about that great silk one? The gold one with the circles on it? 819 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,680 -You don't think that's too flashy? -Sara'll love it, Dad. 820 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,480 Trust me. I'm a woman. I know these things. 821 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,280 All right. 822 00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,360 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 823 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,720 (BOTH GRUNTING) 824 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:53,240 BEN: Got ya! 825 00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,040 Oh. (CHUCKLES) 826 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:01,640 ANGIE: Yes! 827 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,160 Game over. I win again. 828 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:08,680 Wanna play another one, loser-boy? 829 00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,280 BEN: I don't know. I mean, here we are on a Saturday night, 830 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,120 in the world's smartest house, unsupervised. 831 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:16,720 Don't you think we could do something more exciting? 832 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,760 PAT: Your wish is my command. 833 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,080 What's that supposed to mean? 834 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,120 (DOORBELL RINGS) 835 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,200 -Has it started yet? -What? 836 00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,480 The party. Dude, I got your e-mail last night. 837 00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:32,280 -I didn't send this. -PAT: I hope you don't mind, Ben. 838 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:35,760 When your father expressed a desire for you to have more fun in your life, 839 00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:37,840 I took the liberty of helping out. 840 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:41,440 Whoa! Who said that? 841 00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,040 That was just Pat. She's the brains of the operation. 842 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:46,120 Are we really having a party, Pat? 843 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,200 PAT: Big time, dude. Watch this. 844 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:52,960 Awesome. 845 00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:56,720 Guess what, man. We ran into Rachel and Gwen at the mall today, 846 00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:59,320 and they're, like, totally jazzed about coming too. 847 00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,200 Gwen? Gwen Patroni's coming here to my house? 848 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:05,040 Oh, my gosh. How's my hair look? 849 00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:06,960 -What's it doing? -Compared to what? 850 00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:08,160 (SIGHS) 851 00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:12,760 Look, we just gotta chill, act totally cool and casual. 852 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:16,680 -You three? Yeah. That'll happen. -That's enough out of you, munchkin. 853 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,080 Be nice to me, Johnny, 854 00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,920 or I'll just have to tell Gwen about the time you danced around, 855 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,560 singing The Sound of Music in my shower cap. 856 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:24,920 (ALL LAUGHING) 857 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,560 And I missed it? 858 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,480 Hey, Pat. How about activating some kick-butt video screens? 859 00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,120 PAT: Sure, Ben. How's this? 860 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:38,240 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 861 00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:10,520 Yeah! All right. 862 00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,320 This is perfect, man. Now all we need are the... 863 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:13,520 (DOORBELL RINGS) 864 00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,640 -ALL: Girls. -Let's go. 865 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,560 Welcome. Come on in and party your heads off. 866 00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,360 BOY: Thanks, Angie. GIRL: Wow, this is gonna be great. 867 00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,280 WENDY: Wendy Goldman and Judy Toll. 868 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,800 Hate to break it to you, girls. I'm afraid you didn't make the cut. 869 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:36,720 Oh, man. This party's harder to get into than Robin Schiff's bat mitzvah. 870 00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:43,200 Uh, excuse me. I don't think my brother wants you here. 871 00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,840 Check your list again, tater tot. We got a personal invite. 872 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,440 -Read it and weep. -PAT: Don't worry, Angie. 873 00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:50,560 Their invitation was on the house. 874 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:54,560 In fact, Ryan's the one boy I've been most anxious to meet. 875 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,160 (CHUCKLES) Check it out. The house likes me. 876 00:48:56,240 --> 00:48:58,000 By the end of the night, Ryan, 877 00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,400 I may even have a crush on you. 878 00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:04,440 (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) 879 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:07,120 Name? 880 00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:09,200 PAT: As every modern mother knows, 881 00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:12,600 especially in a home bustling with active, hungry teenagers, 882 00:49:12,720 --> 00:49:16,120 a well-stocked kitchen can never have too many gadgets. 883 00:49:17,240 --> 00:49:20,400 Hey, uh, Pat, how about whipping up some pizzas? These girls are starving. 884 00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,200 Actually, can she make desserts? 885 00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:24,520 I'm, like, completely craving something sweet. 886 00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:27,640 -Besides me? It's just a joke. -(CHUCKLING) 887 00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,800 Anyways, uh, Pat, can we help the lady out with her snack attack? 888 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:33,360 Show me the honey! 889 00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,760 -(DEVICE WHIRRING, BEEPING) -GWEN: Oh, wow! 890 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,440 PAT: Here ya go, girls. Help yourselves. 891 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:42,720 -Go ahead. -(BOTH CHUCKLE) 892 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,000 -(POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) 893 00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,400 This is pretty amusing, Patroni. You dancing with little Benny boy. 894 00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:02,080 Since when do you do charity work? 895 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,080 For your information, Ryan, I happen to like Ben. 896 00:50:06,720 --> 00:50:09,480 -You do? -A lot. 897 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:13,680 So do I. On his back, begging for mercy. 898 00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:15,720 -Why don't you give it a break? -Why don't you make me? 899 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:16,920 -(RECORD SCRATCHES) -(MUSIC STOPS) 900 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,480 PAT: Hey, everybody, can I have your attention, please? 901 00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,360 I hope you don't mind the interruption, 902 00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,520 but I'd like to put the spotlight on Ryan McGraw. 903 00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:30,360 In case you don't know, Ryan's a big shot, a tough guy. 904 00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:32,640 (CARTOON PLAYING ON TV) 905 00:50:32,720 --> 00:50:36,080 -(CLUCKS ANGRILY) -ROOSTER: Uh, but chicken pie... 906 00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:37,200 You ruffian! 907 00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,080 You don't have to do this, Pat. 908 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,320 PAT: Don't worry, Ben. He likes the attention. 909 00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,080 -Don't you, Ryan? -RYAN: Yeah. 910 00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:45,440 You don't have a problem with that, do you, Benny boy? 911 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,400 PAT: No, he doesn't, but I do! 912 00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,000 (EXCLAIMING) 913 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:53,120 What's going on here? What's the deal? 914 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,400 PAT: Don't tell me you're scared, Ryan. 915 00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,120 -I thought you were fearless. -I am. 916 00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:01,560 PAT: As long as the people you're picking on 917 00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:02,640 are half your size. 918 00:51:02,720 --> 00:51:04,960 But what about a two-story adversary? 919 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:06,840 Does that make you a little nervous? 920 00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:10,080 Come on, knock it off. I thought we were here to have a party. 921 00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,240 PAT: You mean you're not having fun? I am. 922 00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:17,520 -(SKULL CACKLING MANIACALLY) -BEN: Whoa! 923 00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:22,680 (CACKLING CONTINUES) 924 00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:31,040 PAT: Ryan, I'm afraid that for you, the party's over. 925 00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:34,560 (RYAN GRUNTS) 926 00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,640 Sorry you have to leave so soon. 927 00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:38,920 Huh? 928 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,040 And don't come back. 929 00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:46,560 Oh, and, Ryan, if you ever feel like coming after my Ben again, 930 00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,320 know this, he may end up at the doctor, 931 00:51:49,720 --> 00:51:52,240 but it's you who's gonna get a house call. 932 00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:53,960 GIRL: (LAUGHING) Yeah. GIRL 2: Yeah. 933 00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:55,400 GWEN: Hey. 934 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,800 -Get off me. -PAT: All right, kids, back to the party. 935 00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,360 (POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 936 00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:10,320 -Thank you. -Thanks. 937 00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:11,920 VALET: Ticket, sir? 938 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,920 This is so much fun. Drinks in one place, dinner in another. 939 00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,040 Now onto a whole new adventure called dessert. 940 00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:22,880 Pick anywhere you like, as long as I can get something chocolate. 941 00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:26,680 Hold on. Hold on. Are you ready for this? 942 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:28,640 Your wish... 943 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:30,600 Is my command. 944 00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:34,680 Really? 945 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:37,240 Really. 946 00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:43,440 (NICK CHUCKLES) 947 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:45,160 SARA: What are you laughing at? 948 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:47,800 -Okay, I'm a little rusty. -Oh, no, no, no. 949 00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,680 Oh, I'm sorry. No, it's not you, it's me. 950 00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,440 Ugh. I'm so astounded at how pathetic I am. I... 951 00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:58,080 No, no. I'm out on a great date, I'm kissing a beautiful woman, 952 00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:01,040 and my paternal, one-track brain goes, "kiss, 953 00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,560 "bedtime kiss, kids, home," 954 00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:05,520 And bam! All I'm thinking about is Ben and Angie 955 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,480 -and how they're doing', and... -You wanna give them a call? 956 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,800 Yes, and no. 957 00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:12,880 No. And what's the point, right? 958 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:16,200 Pat's with them. I'm sure she has everything under control, and... 959 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:20,800 Where were we? What were we talking about? Chocolate. 960 00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:25,120 Or... Kisses. 961 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,600 (POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 962 00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:35,680 (ALL CHEERING) 963 00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:08,680 Hate to smash your pumpkin, Cinderella, but it's 10:23. 964 00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,000 Hey, thanks for the time. How about the weather? 965 00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:16,000 In case all that dancing rattled your brain, ace, 966 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,560 Dad the dependable said he'd be home at 10:30. 967 00:54:18,720 --> 00:54:19,920 And what time is it now? 968 00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:23,400 Now? It's 10:24 and 40 seconds. 969 00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:30,720 (ALL CLAMORING) 970 00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:35,720 Thanks for the fantastic party, Ben. 971 00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:39,160 Bye. 972 00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,360 Let's go, Romeo. We got major work to do. 973 00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:47,880 (MUTT BARKING) 974 00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:49,120 (MUTT PANTING) 975 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,720 -We're dead. -We're dead and buried. 976 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:54,920 PAT: Not necessarily, children. 977 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,080 Just dump all the debris on the floor. 978 00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,840 -How's that gonna help? -Trust me. Just throw it all on the floor. 979 00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,600 -Like this, Pat? -Perfect. 980 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,320 Floor absorbers activated. 981 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,480 (VACUUM HUMMING) 982 00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:39,600 (BARKS) 983 00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:45,680 Guys? 984 00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:48,240 Ben? 985 00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,520 -Angie? -BEN: Hurry. 986 00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,560 -Oh, hi, Dad. -Hi. 987 00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,200 Uh, sorry we're not in our pajamas yet. 988 00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:01,200 Uh, Pat was just showing us a travelogue on, uh, 989 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,560 Micronesia, and I guess we just fell asleep. 990 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,840 So I guess everything went smoothly, huh? 991 00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,280 Oh, yeah, smooth as... 992 00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:15,880 ANGIE: Uh-oh. 993 00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:19,160 Silk. 994 00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:27,080 It undercuts my trust in you guys, 995 00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,040 makes me question your judgement. 996 00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:30,920 ANGIE: The party was Pat's idea, Dad. 997 00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,720 We didn't even know about it till the kids started showing up. 998 00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:36,800 Oh, what, and I suppose it was Pat's idea to send out the invitations? 999 00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:38,760 PAT: Uh, I did, Nick. 1000 00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:43,560 My artificial intelligence capability tapped into Ben's e-mail address book. 1001 00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:47,040 You did say you wished Ben had more fun in his life. 1002 00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,840 Yes, supervised fun, Pat, responsible fun. 1003 00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:51,480 Fun that I'm clued in on. 1004 00:56:52,240 --> 00:56:55,440 I'm very disappointed in all three of you, but especially you, Pat. 1005 00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,600 I thought your purpose was to make my life easier. 1006 00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,280 I can't have you become a bad influence on my children. 1007 00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,800 I need you to knuckle down and get back to business. 1008 00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:04,640 PAT: It shall be done, Nick. 1009 00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:06,320 From now on, I will be 1010 00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:09,840 the most responsible maternal figure in town. 1011 00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,160 -I promise. -All right. 1012 00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,240 Go on. Get outta here. Go to bed. 1013 00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:16,600 (SIGHS) 1014 00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:22,880 PAT: Accessing responsible behavior. 1015 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,560 If Nick wants me to knuckle down, by golly, I'll knuckle down. 1016 00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,080 Hey, Dad. 1017 00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:31,360 Uh... 1018 00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:33,040 Do you think we could leave a little earlier today? 1019 00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:34,520 I got something I wanna do before school. 1020 00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:35,600 -Yeah. -What? 1021 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:37,520 So you can make kissy face with Gwen Patroni? 1022 00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,800 Why don't you become one of those nuns who takes a vow of silence? 1023 00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:42,960 Gwen Patroni? Is this someone I should know about? 1024 00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,240 (SIGHS) Look, forget it, okay? 1025 00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:45,560 When you guys finally decide that you're ready, 1026 00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:46,920 I'll be outside shooting hoops. 1027 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,000 PAT: Uh, Ben, I think you forgot to pull up your shorts. 1028 00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,440 I like 'em like this. This is how everybody else wears 'em. 1029 00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:53,880 PAT: They look silly. 1030 00:57:54,160 --> 00:57:55,360 They look perfect. 1031 00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:56,760 -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) -Ow! 1032 00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:58,280 PAT: Pull up your shorts, Ben. 1033 00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,760 They look fine. 1034 00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:01,480 -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) -Ow! 1035 00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:03,280 Cut it out, Pat! 1036 00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:05,800 PAT: Pull up your shorts, Ben. 1037 00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:09,600 -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) -Ow! 1038 00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:10,680 (SIGHS) 1039 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:12,040 There. You happy? 1040 00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:22,640 I'll make sure a new shipment of bats and gloves is on the truck this afternoon. 1041 00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:25,560 Thanks for your understanding. 1042 00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:28,800 Right. All right. You take care, Lou. Bye. 1043 00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:31,840 (SIGHS) 1044 00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:35,440 Pat, get me Sara on the line, please. 1045 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,480 PAT: You haven't gotten much work done yet today. 1046 00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:41,560 Should you really be wasting time on social calls? 1047 00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:43,520 I'd like to speak to Sara, Pat. 1048 00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:45,560 PAT: Nick, I'm gonna have to insist 1049 00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,480 that you at least get the Rockowitz order shipped first. 1050 00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,320 Fine. I'll dial her myself. 1051 00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:54,720 (MUTTERS) 1052 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:56,520 PAT: Sorry, Nick. 1053 00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:58,160 All right. 1054 00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:00,480 (CHUCKLES) 1055 00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:03,600 Hmm. 1056 00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:05,080 (DIALING) 1057 00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:06,240 PAT: Sorry, Nick. 1058 00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:08,640 I want you to stop this now! 1059 00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:12,400 PAT: Look. If I'm knuckling down, we're all knuckling down. 1060 00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:15,680 New house rule. Work first, play later. 1061 00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:17,600 Discussion terminated. 1062 00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:20,800 All right. I'll go along with this for now. 1063 00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,400 -(HORSES NEIGHING ON TV) -(PANTING) 1064 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:26,720 (CHILD EXCLAIMS) 1065 00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:32,240 (HORSES NEIGHING) 1066 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,280 NARRATOR: The amoeba, a one-celled, microscopic animal... 1067 00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,840 -(PANTING CONTINUES) -(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1068 00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:40,160 MAN: He's down that way! 1069 00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:43,240 NARRATOR: The amoeba can be found in most... 1070 00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:45,440 -(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) -(HORSES NEIGHING) 1071 00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:48,680 NARRATOR: The amoeba... 1072 00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:50,760 I surrender. I'll go read a book instead. 1073 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:52,680 PAT: That's my girl. 1074 00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:54,160 -(SNEEZES) -(DEVICES BEEPING) 1075 00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:56,960 Good gosh. You have a temperature. 1076 00:59:57,560 --> 00:59:59,600 99.7. Big deal. 1077 01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:01,480 No reason to take chances. 1078 01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:03,560 We ought to get you right into bed. 1079 01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:04,960 But I'm not sick. 1080 01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:07,360 Don't question me, young lady. 1081 01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:10,880 Run upstairs and I'll deliver a nice, hot bowl of chicken soup. 1082 01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:13,440 (SIGHS) 1083 01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:15,000 I said I don't want soup. 1084 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:18,040 Go ahead and have it. It's good for you. 1085 01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:23,280 And to be smart, we should probably keep you home from school tomorrow. 1086 01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:25,440 Dad. No. 1087 01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:27,400 Tomorrow's our field trip to the llama farm. 1088 01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:31,280 Well, let's just wait and see how you're feeling in the morning. 1089 01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:35,200 And if Pat says it's okay for you to go to school, then I won't argue. 1090 01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:37,960 PAT: That's right. Pat knows best. 1091 01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,080 There you go. 1092 01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:42,480 Come on. Eat your soup. 1093 01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:47,880 PAT: Time for lights-out, Ben. 1094 01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:49,680 Just let me finish these last few pages. 1095 01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:52,040 Bedtime is bedtime. 1096 01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:56,320 Two minutes, Pat. I've got to see what happens to Clown. 1097 01:00:58,120 --> 01:01:00,120 You're really not being fair, Pat. 1098 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,800 Fair is for baseball umpires. 1099 01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:08,120 My job is to do what's best for you. 1100 01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:13,880 (GROANS) 1101 01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:15,640 All right. You win. 1102 01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:20,400 Dad, you've got to do something. 1103 01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:22,920 Pat's out of control. She's totally wrecking our lives. 1104 01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:26,440 I ate so much chicken soup last night, it was practically coming out of my nose. 1105 01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:27,680 NICK: Yeah, I know. 1106 01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:30,600 Maybe I can get Sara back over to check Pat out. 1107 01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:32,640 Yeah. She's the one who created it. 1108 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:35,120 Maybe she can get the stupid house to mellow out. 1109 01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:37,520 Everything checks out fine. 1110 01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,560 It may just be that her artificial intelligence sensors have been absorbing 1111 01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:44,400 so much conflicting input that she's just having trouble sorting it all out. 1112 01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:45,960 Welcome to parenthood. 1113 01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:47,640 Any way of modifying that? 1114 01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:51,440 Well, tonight I'm shutting the entire system down. 1115 01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:56,840 It may do Pat a world of good just to take a rest. 1116 01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:58,560 Care to join us for dinner? 1117 01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:04,040 Whoa, sure. Thanks. 1118 01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:07,720 -How's it going, chef? -(SIZZLING) 1119 01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:11,640 Well, if we've gotten this far without the fire department showing up, 1120 01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:14,200 I'd say that we are making history. 1121 01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:19,160 (BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 1122 01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:20,320 NICK: Delicious. 1123 01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:23,760 The tomato wasn't half bad, either. 1124 01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:32,400 The most colorful salad in the world. Everything looks incredible. 1125 01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:34,040 And miracle upon miracles, 1126 01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:36,520 we actually managed to do it the old-fashioned way. 1127 01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,440 Yeah. Who needs Pat anyhow, huh? 1128 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,720 (ECHOING) Who needs Pat anyhow? Who needs Pat anyhow? 1129 01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:45,280 -Who needs Pat anyhow? -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 1130 01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:51,160 PAT: System shut-down override! 1131 01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:55,640 -(ALARM BEEPING) -(DEVICES WHIRRING) 1132 01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,400 "Who needs Pat anyhow?" 1133 01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:08,760 Once you've gotten all the bugs out of the smart house, Sara, 1134 01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:10,360 what are you gonna do for your next job? 1135 01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:13,720 Well, I'm actually deep into designing a smart office building 1136 01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:18,240 with virtual secretaries and automated filing systems 1137 01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:21,760 and an in-house restaurant with gourmet, made-to-order meals. 1138 01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:23,160 Then can you make a smart school? 1139 01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:25,200 I want one that does all the learning for us. 1140 01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:27,640 -(NICK CHUCKLING) -May I be excused, please? 1141 01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:30,760 Oh, wait. Don't you want to stick around for fresh-baked peach cobbler? 1142 01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:32,280 -No, thanks. -NICK: Ben, I... 1143 01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,840 I asked Sara to make it specifically because I know how much you love it. 1144 01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:37,440 No. I loved Mom's peach cobbler. 1145 01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:38,680 There's a huge difference. 1146 01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:40,040 -NICK: Ben! -That's okay. 1147 01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:41,440 BEN: No, it's not okay! 1148 01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,200 It stinks! It completely stinks! 1149 01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:44,720 And you know the worst thing about it? 1150 01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:46,720 People that make promises they don't even bother to keep! 1151 01:03:47,400 --> 01:03:48,480 Excuse me. 1152 01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:54,600 (SIGHS) 1153 01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:55,680 (FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS) 1154 01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:00,560 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 1155 01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:01,960 Go away. I don't wanna talk about it. 1156 01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:05,000 -Maybe we need to talk about it. -Why? You don't get it. 1157 01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:06,640 You don't' even know what promise I'm talking about. 1158 01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:07,960 You're right, I don't. 1159 01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:11,360 You said that you'd never love anyone the way you loved Mom. 1160 01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:13,800 And you promised you'd never let anybody ever take her place. 1161 01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,960 And nobody can or wants to take your mother's place, Ben. 1162 01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:18,040 -But, Dad... -Hold on a second. 1163 01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:19,520 When exactly did I say all this? 1164 01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:20,880 The night Aunt Ginny moved home. 1165 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,320 You mean four years ago? 1166 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,120 Yeah. Angie was asleep, 1167 01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:26,440 you were putting me into bed and you promised. 1168 01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:29,400 Now you're down there kissing Sara, acting like Mom never even existed! 1169 01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:31,320 -Hey, will you try to be fair here? -Why should I? 1170 01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:34,240 Because you're not the only one who lost someone, Ben! 1171 01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:41,280 (SIGHS) 1172 01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,040 Look, I know how much it hurts, 1173 01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:48,040 and I can appreciate that it's been worse than ever for you lately. 1174 01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:49,800 All the changes that you are going through, 1175 01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:52,320 the way that you have to work so hard 1176 01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:54,720 to help us keep our lives together. 1177 01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:56,960 None of that is right. It's awful. 1178 01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,320 But what are we gonna do about it, Ben? 1179 01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:02,280 I mean, are we gonna crawl into a cave and hide? 1180 01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:03,640 Are we gonna drop out? 1181 01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:04,800 Are we gonna quit living? 1182 01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:06,160 I'll tell you what you're not gonna do. 1183 01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:09,800 You are never gonna disrespect anyone like you did right now downstairs. 1184 01:05:09,880 --> 01:05:12,800 You know better than that. You were raised better than that. 1185 01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:26,760 Ben, 1186 01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:30,160 just because I start seeing someone 1187 01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:32,840 doesn't mean that I'm gonna forget your mother. 1188 01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:35,720 I don't wanna do that. 1189 01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:39,400 I can't do that ever. 1190 01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:41,240 I couldn't do that if I tried. 1191 01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:44,480 Angie doesn't remember Mom anymore. 1192 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:46,560 Except what she's seen in videos. 1193 01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:50,160 To her, Mom's about as real as Belle or the Little Mermaid. 1194 01:05:50,600 --> 01:05:52,520 She was so little when it happened, Ben. 1195 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,320 She wouldn't care at all if you married Sara. 1196 01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:58,440 She'd be happy. 1197 01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:01,680 -Sara's a wonderful person. -I know. 1198 01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:07,800 We just can't let Mom get erased, Dad. 1199 01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:13,520 (SIGHS) 1200 01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:15,400 Come here. 1201 01:06:19,240 --> 01:06:20,600 You're right, buddy. 1202 01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:23,240 You're right. 1203 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:28,120 Who'd be foolish enough to try and replace your mother, huh? 1204 01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:34,200 PAT: Virtual projection process activated. 1205 01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:09,040 (DEVICES BEEPING) 1206 01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:21,320 PAT: Unless we act now, 1207 01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:24,200 she is going to become part of this family, you know. 1208 01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:28,280 Hmm, I don't know, maybe Dad deserves a little happiness, Pat. 1209 01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:30,680 (GASPS) Pat! 1210 01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:34,320 -You're alive. -No more or less than I have been. 1211 01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:37,320 I've just finally reached my full potential. 1212 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,240 Uh, I gotta get Sara. 1213 01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:40,320 Sara? 1214 01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:43,280 She wouldn't know a virtual projection from a hologram. 1215 01:07:43,480 --> 01:07:46,880 That's why we must keep her from being too serious about Nick. 1216 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:48,760 Uh, well, you know, I... 1217 01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:50,000 I was, you know, starting to think 1218 01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:51,480 that maybe she might be good for him. 1219 01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:53,000 You know, for all of us. 1220 01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:55,000 Have you lost your mind? 1221 01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:58,000 There's only one person who knows what you three need. 1222 01:07:58,080 --> 01:07:59,360 That's me. 1223 01:07:59,960 --> 01:08:03,960 I have worked my microchips right down past the silicone for you people. 1224 01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:06,480 -And this is how you repay me? -Pat, take it easy. 1225 01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:07,680 Easy? 1226 01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:10,960 You think I wouldn't rather be taking it easy? 1227 01:08:11,640 --> 01:08:13,120 But no! 1228 01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:15,880 I'm too busy keeping up with the Coopers! 1229 01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:18,480 Slaving away in a hot control room, 1230 01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,000 doing homework, throwing parties, 1231 01:08:21,120 --> 01:08:24,600 keeping schedules, making your lives perfect. 1232 01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:28,120 So you can bring another woman into my domain? 1233 01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:30,080 I don't think so, mister. 1234 01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:33,400 I am a mother like no other, 1235 01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:35,200 and I will not sit back 1236 01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:38,720 and allow myself to be preempted. 1237 01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:42,800 Wait, Ben. 1238 01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:46,640 -(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) -BEN: Dad. Sara. 1239 01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:49,280 It's Pat. She's alive. 1240 01:08:49,360 --> 01:08:51,520 She was in my room yelling about how we're taking her for granted. 1241 01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:54,120 -Whoa, slow down. What happened? -Hello! 1242 01:08:54,200 --> 01:08:55,560 Pat? Logo woman. 1243 01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,160 Yeah. She was in my room barking about how we don't appreciate her. 1244 01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,400 Okay. It's all right, son. You obviously fell asleep 1245 01:09:00,480 --> 01:09:01,800 and you were having a nightmare. 1246 01:09:01,880 --> 01:09:03,840 I wasn't dreaming, Dad. I'm telling you she was there. 1247 01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:05,680 -(BEEPS) -PAT: To explain to you 1248 01:09:05,760 --> 01:09:08,760 what I've been trying to tell you all along, Nick. 1249 01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:11,800 Mother knows best! 1250 01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:15,280 -What... What is that thing? -I don't know. 1251 01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:18,360 I guess she tapped into a virtual projection component 1252 01:09:18,440 --> 01:09:21,000 and learned how to create a visual embodiment. 1253 01:09:21,080 --> 01:09:23,280 I thought you said you shut down the system. 1254 01:09:23,880 --> 01:09:26,120 That's what's scaring me. I did. 1255 01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:29,200 As enjoyable as it's been to have you here, Sara, 1256 01:09:29,280 --> 01:09:32,080 it would be best for everyone if you went home now. 1257 01:09:32,320 --> 01:09:36,200 I can't do that, Pat. I need to reinstate the N65 code 1258 01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:38,640 and get you back in proper working order. 1259 01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:40,960 I'm in fine working order. 1260 01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:44,320 I'm simply doing what you created me to do. 1261 01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:47,840 Giving these people exactly what they need! 1262 01:09:50,080 --> 01:09:51,640 (EXCLAIMING) 1263 01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:53,720 SARA: Pat! NICK: Wait a second! 1264 01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:55,040 -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) -Argh! 1265 01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:56,440 Open the door, Pat! 1266 01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:58,600 I'm sorry. I can't do that, Nick. 1267 01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:00,720 Pat! 1268 01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:02,120 (RIVETS HAMMERING IN) 1269 01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:05,080 I have to do what I believe is best. 1270 01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,640 Pat, I'm gonna delete you for this! 1271 01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:21,320 Let me in. Pat. 1272 01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:23,560 Pat, let me in. 1273 01:10:24,360 --> 01:10:25,960 Pat, do you hear me? 1274 01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:31,600 -Angie, sweetie, wake up. -What? What's wrong? 1275 01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:33,520 Something's happening with Pat. We gotta get out of here. 1276 01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:35,760 Our house is having a nervous breakdown. 1277 01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:46,320 I don't understand why you're doing this, Pat! 1278 01:10:46,400 --> 01:10:50,160 -(BEEPS) -To protect you. And your children. 1279 01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:55,000 The more I've learned about your world outside my walls, 1280 01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:59,400 the more I've realized how dangerous and unpredictable it is. 1281 01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:01,560 (CROWD YELLING ON TV) 1282 01:11:01,640 --> 01:11:04,880 Why would anyone ever want to venture out into it? 1283 01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,880 We can't stay here forever. 1284 01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:12,200 PAT: Well, why not? 1285 01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:15,160 Haven't I given you everything you've asked for? 1286 01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:19,080 We're kids. We need fresh air and exercise. 1287 01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:22,200 But I can give you synthetic fresh air 1288 01:11:22,400 --> 01:11:24,160 and virtual exercise. 1289 01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:26,920 We still need to go to school. 1290 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,920 Haven't you heard about homeschooling? 1291 01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:31,680 Yeah, but not where the home's the one doing the schooling. 1292 01:11:31,840 --> 01:11:35,080 And what about friends? Kids can't exist without their friends. 1293 01:11:35,160 --> 01:11:36,560 (SIGHS) 1294 01:11:36,640 --> 01:11:39,840 Well, we can be each other's best friends. 1295 01:11:40,160 --> 01:11:41,760 You're really scaring me, Pat. 1296 01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:44,000 PAT: Oh, Angie. 1297 01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:46,400 You're hurting my feelings. 1298 01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:48,680 There's nothing to fear. 1299 01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:50,760 Mama's here. 1300 01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:52,720 -You're not my mom! -It's okay. 1301 01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:55,320 Well, I'd like to be, if you'd let me. 1302 01:11:55,880 --> 01:11:59,160 Is there something so wrong with needing to be needed? 1303 01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,400 Well, what if Angie and I need you at the same time? 1304 01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:04,280 That is virtually no problem. 1305 01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:07,240 You see, the beauty of us is... 1306 01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:16,040 Unlike the average mother with normal limitations, 1307 01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:21,120 we can be in two places at once. 1308 01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:26,960 Can your little Sara do that? 1309 01:12:29,840 --> 01:12:31,280 I don't think so. 1310 01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:35,480 ALL PATS: Not by any stretch of the imagination. 1311 01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:36,960 (ALL CHUCKLING) 1312 01:12:39,440 --> 01:12:41,640 No, Miles, I'm not joking. It's an emergency. 1313 01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:42,720 -I... -MILES: Okay, all right. 1314 01:12:42,800 --> 01:12:43,880 I need you to get over here as soon as you can. 1315 01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:44,960 -Okay, right now. -Wait! 1316 01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:47,040 And, um, stop by my place and pick up a few things. 1317 01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:49,440 -What? -Uh, first of all, I need the schematics 1318 01:12:49,520 --> 01:12:51,600 -of the... And... Yes. -For the house. 1319 01:12:54,080 --> 01:12:55,080 (SQUEAKING) 1320 01:13:06,720 --> 01:13:07,880 (SQUEAKING) 1321 01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:27,320 "Ben, I'll never try to be anything more than a friend to you. 1322 01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:31,000 "Tell me how I can help. Send SOS 1323 01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:34,880 "care of smartsara.com." 1324 01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:39,320 (CHUCKLES) 1325 01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:43,360 Doesn't this place have some kind of master plug we can just pull? 1326 01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:46,480 I never expected Pat to mutiny. 1327 01:13:46,720 --> 01:13:49,040 Every power source she has is self-contained 1328 01:13:49,120 --> 01:13:51,080 -in the control room. -(BOTH SIGH) 1329 01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:55,520 And she's stocked with enough supplies to hold those people hostage for months. 1330 01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:57,760 -So what are we gonna do? -I don't know. 1331 01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:00,680 -What are we missing? -(MILES SIGHS) 1332 01:14:00,760 --> 01:14:02,440 -(COMPUTER BEEPS) -Oh! 1333 01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:08,520 It's Ben! 1334 01:14:17,000 --> 01:14:19,000 (KEYS TAPPING) 1335 01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:21,440 (MUTT WHINES) 1336 01:14:29,560 --> 01:14:32,040 -Yes! -I knew I'd like that kid. 1337 01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:39,200 (WATCH BEEPING) 1338 01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:44,040 (GROANING) 1339 01:14:49,480 --> 01:14:50,960 Okay. Here comes the paperboy. 1340 01:14:57,240 --> 01:14:59,480 (WHISPERING) Go. Go. 1341 01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:06,520 (GRUNTS) 1342 01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:08,560 (BEN GROANING) 1343 01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:11,600 -NICK: What is it? What is it? -I think I got appendicitis, Dad. 1344 01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:13,640 Yeah, but your appendix is around front. 1345 01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:15,480 Yeah, that's what I mean. Right here. (GROANS) 1346 01:15:16,160 --> 01:15:17,360 Ow. 1347 01:15:17,440 --> 01:15:19,120 -NICK: Does that hurt? -Ow. 1348 01:15:19,920 --> 01:15:21,040 Ow. 1349 01:15:21,160 --> 01:15:24,600 Oh, yeah, I got it, I got it. Okay. All right. 1350 01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:40,480 -PAT: Security breach! Security breach! -Shoot! 1351 01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:41,960 -Security breach! -(ALARM BLARING) 1352 01:15:45,760 --> 01:15:48,880 Sara. What an unpleasant surprise. 1353 01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:51,120 How did you get back in here? 1354 01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:53,440 With Ben's help. 1355 01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:56,800 He brought me in because he obviously needed me. 1356 01:15:57,040 --> 01:16:01,120 Oh, he doesn't need you. He's got me. 1357 01:16:01,200 --> 01:16:02,560 To be honest, Pat, 1358 01:16:03,120 --> 01:16:06,280 all the Coopers think you're way out of control. 1359 01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:11,280 (DISTORTED) I... Won't... Stand for this! 1360 01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:16,400 Uh... 1361 01:16:19,360 --> 01:16:20,440 (SCREAMING) 1362 01:16:22,280 --> 01:16:24,800 ANGIE: What's happening, Dad? NICK: I'm not sure, honey. 1363 01:16:27,760 --> 01:16:28,760 (SARA EXCLAIMS) 1364 01:16:28,840 --> 01:16:30,640 (WIND BLOWING) 1365 01:16:38,240 --> 01:16:40,480 -BEN: Dad! -Everybody get down! 1366 01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:42,360 SARA: Get down. NICK: Hold on! Hold on! 1367 01:16:42,440 --> 01:16:44,880 I can be everything you need, Ben. 1368 01:16:48,440 --> 01:16:50,440 (PAT SINGING LULLABY) 1369 01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:10,400 Stop it, Pat! I hate you like this! Don't you get it? 1370 01:17:13,920 --> 01:17:16,640 What did you say to me, young man? 1371 01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:22,080 You can't be our mother, Pat. 1372 01:17:22,200 --> 01:17:24,520 -You're not real. -So? 1373 01:17:25,040 --> 01:17:26,240 When you started freaking out, 1374 01:17:26,320 --> 01:17:28,680 did you see what Dad and Sara did for me and Angie? 1375 01:17:28,760 --> 01:17:30,560 They covered us. They protected us. 1376 01:17:30,640 --> 01:17:33,200 They held onto us. You can't do that, Pat. 1377 01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:36,160 You can never do that, no matter what. 1378 01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:06,920 You didn't even feel that, did you? 1379 01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:08,920 Not at all. 1380 01:18:11,440 --> 01:18:13,120 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1381 01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:28,320 (RUMBLING CONTINUES) 1382 01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:31,640 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) 1383 01:18:31,960 --> 01:18:33,160 Pat's crying. 1384 01:18:37,520 --> 01:18:38,800 I will miss you all... 1385 01:18:41,960 --> 01:18:43,280 Very much. 1386 01:18:54,760 --> 01:18:55,760 (RUMBLING STOPS) 1387 01:18:57,680 --> 01:18:58,680 (SARA SIGHS) 1388 01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:09,280 NICK: I know you never meant for things to get so out of control, 1389 01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:12,000 but I really hope you learned a lesson. 1390 01:19:12,360 --> 01:19:15,680 Believe me, Dad, the last thing I'm ever gonna do again is mess with Pat. 1391 01:19:16,040 --> 01:19:17,360 I turned her into a maniac. 1392 01:19:18,040 --> 01:19:21,400 Well, at least we have Sara to get everything back on track. 1393 01:19:21,800 --> 01:19:23,640 Yeah. She's pretty cool, isn't she? 1394 01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:26,480 Almost as cool as my son. 1395 01:19:26,760 --> 01:19:28,840 SARA: Wait. Here. Down here. ANGIE: Okay. 1396 01:19:31,440 --> 01:19:33,360 Cooper shakes off the defender. 1397 01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:34,800 Goes to shoot it. 1398 01:19:34,880 --> 01:19:36,080 Oh! 1399 01:19:36,200 --> 01:19:39,720 PAT: Ben, by rotating your hips 27 degrees to the right 1400 01:19:39,840 --> 01:19:41,840 and applying more left-handed push, 1401 01:19:41,920 --> 01:19:43,840 you will greatly increase your chances 1402 01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:46,840 of successfully placing the ball into the hoop. 1403 01:19:47,440 --> 01:19:49,040 Thanks a lot, Pat. I'll give it a try. 1404 01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:56,400 -(CHUCKLES) That was sweet. Thanks, Pat. -(HORN HONKS) 1405 01:19:56,960 --> 01:19:58,160 Hey, Sara. 1406 01:19:58,640 --> 01:19:59,800 -Good morning. -Hey. 1407 01:19:59,880 --> 01:20:01,560 Your dad invited me over for breakfast. 1408 01:20:01,640 --> 01:20:03,840 Cool. Let's go inside and see what he's whipping up. 1409 01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:04,920 All righty. 1410 01:20:06,880 --> 01:20:08,560 So, Ben tells me that Pat's behaving. 1411 01:20:08,840 --> 01:20:12,720 Pat has been serving us without interfering. 1412 01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:15,120 What more could you possibly ask for? 1413 01:20:16,560 --> 01:20:18,240 Nick, this looks delicious. 1414 01:20:18,320 --> 01:20:23,000 And I did it all by myself, without the help of Ben or Pat. 1415 01:20:23,440 --> 01:20:26,000 -Our little daddy's growing up. -(CHUCKLES) 1416 01:20:27,080 --> 01:20:29,760 Hey, I didn't know these were chocolate chip waffles. 1417 01:20:29,840 --> 01:20:30,840 My favorite. 1418 01:20:31,280 --> 01:20:32,480 Hey, wait a minute. 1419 01:20:32,800 --> 01:20:36,120 I didn't put chocolate chips in here. Young lady... 1420 01:20:36,920 --> 01:20:37,920 Don't look at me. 1421 01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:40,720 Well, your brother was outside. Who else could've done it? 1422 01:20:41,240 --> 01:20:43,920 Uh, let me take a wild guess. 1423 01:20:57,320 --> 01:20:59,320 (POP MUSIC PLAYING)