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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[Dr. Ruth laughing]

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<i>OK, plug it in again.</i>

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<i>What's her name? Alexis.</i>

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Wait. What's‐‐ Is her name Alexa?
Alexa?

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Alexa, am I going to get a boyfriend?

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[Alexa] <i>Sorry, I don't know that.</i>

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I don't know either. Unplug her!

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If she doesn't know that,
what good is she? [laughing]

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Alexa, who is Dr. Ruth?

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[Alexa]
<i>A towel is a piece of absorbent fabric</i>

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<i>or paper used for drying or wiping</i>
<i>a body or a surface.</i>

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[laughing] No.

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Alexa, who is Dr. Ruth Westheimer?

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[Alexa] <i>Ruth Westheimer,</i>
<i>better known as Dr. Ruth,</i>

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<i>is a German‐born Jewish immigrant</i>
<i>to the United States</i>

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<i>who became a fixture</i>
<i>in late night television</i>

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<i>and a major pop culture figure</i>

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<i>as a sex therapist,</i>
<i>media personality and author.</i>

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Rafi!

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Did you hear? She knows who I am!

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OK, I think I'm going to keep her.

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She is here with all the answers.

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I love her so much,

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the goddess of good sex,
Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

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[applause]

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Dr. Ruth!

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She talks about the penis
like it's a cooking show.

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First of all, take the man's penis between
your fingers, knead the bread‐‐ No.

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Dr. Ruth, is it all right
for a man to make sounds

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while he's having sex?

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Certainly it is all right,

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as long as you don't wake up your wife.

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[audience laughing]

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I am going to make
you say "vagina" and "clitoris"

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because I always hear you
talk about penis.

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Can you say that word again?

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‐"Erection?"
‐Yes.

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‐Yes.
‐Say it a little bit louder.

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"Erection!"

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This is like a cable version
of Mr. Rogers or something, you know.

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It's like, "can you say clitoris?"

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Dr. Ruth, does size matter‐‐

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[Dr. Ruth] Nope.

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It does not really?

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Size has nothing to do...

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[Howard]
Really?

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...with the sexual satisfaction
of a woman.

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If you do nothing else via your television
and radio programs,

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you educate people to
the fact that they're not alone

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‐because they have a sexual problem.
‐I do.

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But you have
changed sex for America.

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Don't you tell me that it's less good now.

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[Jerry] No, it's better now.
Everyone knows it.

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Don't just sit there and suffer.

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Don't fake it.
Don't be unhappy and frustrated.

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But do something about it.

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‐[man] Hello, my love.
‐[Dr. Ruth] Hey, there.

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‐How are you doing?
‐OK, you're going to go on camera.

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‐Awesome.
‐All right.

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That is the doctor, she's my love.

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‐Thank you.
‐That's my love.

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‐You too, come here.
‐Of course, of course.

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Both of you here.
You'll be on camera. Thank you.

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There is a <i>stuka.</i> All right!
And there is a film crew coming,

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so close my bedroom, I don't want Ryan
to be in there.

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[indiscernible conversation]

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People, here, have some cookies.

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<i>I've lived in this apartment</i>
<i>for 54 years.</i>

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Rob, take some cookie.

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<i>Once I started to do television,</i>

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<i>people said,</i>
<i>"Why don't you move?"</i>

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<i>But this is a neighborhood of immigrants</i>
<i>and I said,</i>

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<i>“No, I'm very comfortable here.”</i>

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Did you call your mother?

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[phone ringing]

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Hi, there! Hello? Yeah.
[speaking in Hebrew]

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‐Ya.
‐[phone ringing]

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OK. [speaking in Hebrew]

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‐Shabbat Shalom.
‐[phone ringing]

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OK? Ciao Ciao. Bye Bye.
[speaking in Hebrew]

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[in English] Bye bye. Hello?

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Yeah, and I just came back from doing
<i>Good Morning America.</i>

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It went very very well.

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Yes,

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find it online and I'll be there 6:30.

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OK.

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<i>There is no such thing as retiring for me.</i>

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<i>And I'm very fortunate.</i>

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<i>I have a minister</i>
<i>of communications, Pierre.</i>

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<i>I tell everybody, if you want</i>
<i>to get to me, call Pierre.</i>

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[phone ringing]

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[Pierre]
<i>Hi, Ruth!</i>

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[Dr. Ruth] <i>All right! You did send me</i>
<i>my calendar, thank you.</i>

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Right.

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[Pierre] <i>I've worked with Ruth since</i>
<i>the beginning of her television career.</i>

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<i>That's 36 years now.</i>

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Was it Stan Lee?

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[Pierre] <i>I would love to retire,</i>

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<i>but Dr. Ruth won't retire.</i>

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<i>Her calendar is jam packed.</i>

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<i>It's nonstop.</i>

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<i>So, we talk quite often,</i>

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it can be as many as 25‐30 times a day.

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<i>Most people can't keep up</i>
<i>with Dr. Ruth because she doesn't stop.</i>

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<i>She's teaching two courses,</i>
<i>one at Hunter College,</i>

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<i>and another at</i>
<i>Teacher's College at Columbia University.</i>

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[Dr. Ruth] Despite the research
of Kinsey, Masters

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and Johnson and Helen Singer‐Kaplan,

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there is still a lot of work to be done.

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On Monday, October 2nd,

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you are flying to Boston
for the Forbes 30 Under 30 event.

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You give her an orgasm, if you
don't know how to do that

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‐I'll teach you that next time.
‐[laughing]

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On Wednesday the 21st
you are leaving for Boulder, Colorado,

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<i>for the air force academy.</i>

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I see a short person over there.

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I have to tell you that short people
make the best lovers.

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[Pierre] <i>She still does</i>
<i>guest lectures.</i>

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<i>She's got a newspaper column</i>
<i>for</i> Time Magazine.

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<i>She's still writing books.</i>

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Can you see it, David?

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I think this is number 40.

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[Pierre] <i>There's three books</i>
<i>that will come out in 2018.</i>

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Hot off the press!
<i>Roller-Coaster Grandma.</i>

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So, on Friday the 12th,
you're doing <i>Good Morning America.</i>

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Dr. Ruth, my boyfriend
spends more time on his smartphone

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than visiting with me.
Is it a fix or a nix?

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‐Nix it!
‐Nix?

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[Pierre] <i>On Sunday, you're playing</i>
<i>the queen at the medieval festival.</i>

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I want you to see that
I'm holding the King's hand.

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[laughing]

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Whoever is applauding the loudest,

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I promise good sex
for the rest of your life.

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‐[audience cheering]
‐Let's have an applause.

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[Pierre]
<i>If Ruth doesn't have something,</i>

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<i>she works at making sure it's busy.</i>

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<i>And it's one of the things that</i>
<i>she's always giving advice about,</i>

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<i>get yourself out there</i>

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<i>and meet people.</i>

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<i>She has always been like this.</i>

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<i>Just constantly going.</i>

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And then on June 4th,
she's gonna be celebrating her 90 years.

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‐[Dr. Ruth] Bye.
‐[security guard] Bye‐bye.

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[Dr. Ruth] Bye‐bye in the rain.

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[Dr. Ruth] OK, Cliff?

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OK.

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‐All right.
‐All right.

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So, when we took all the tapes
and put them on hard drives,

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this is what they are,
so there's hundreds of shows on these‐‐

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[Dr. Ruth] So my whole career
is on these little boxes?

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[Cliff]
Exactly.

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But you do know that I could
never play that without you here.

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‐I know.
‐I don't know which button to push,

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but I do enjoy it!

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[Cliff] All right,
you wanna see some of these?

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[Dr. Ruth] Yeah.

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<i>The woman known as</i>
<i>“Grandma Freud”</i>

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<i>has earned millions of devoted fans</i>

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simply by talking graphically
and endlessly about sex.

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If you don't wanna hear
the kind of things she says,

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please consider this fair warning.
Not everyone approves of what she does.

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[man] Ruth, I am placing you under arrest.

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[crowd groans]

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[Diane Sawyer] <i>This is what happened</i>
<i>at Oklahoma State University.</i>

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<i>Someone in the audience troubled by</i>
<i>Ruth Westheimer's sexually explicit talk</i>

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<i>tried to make a citizen's arrest.</i>

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00:09:00,246 --> 00:09:03,503
<i>It was just another day in the life</i>
<i>of Dr. Ruth,</i>

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00:09:03,587 --> 00:09:05,966
<i>the nation's most popular sex therapist.</i>

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00:09:06,383 --> 00:09:08,095
Hello, you are on the air.

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‐[man] <i>Uh, Dr. Ruth?</i>
‐Hello?

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00:09:09,765 --> 00:09:12,270
[man] <i>I'd like to get your opinion</i>
<i>on marital aids...</i>

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00:09:12,353 --> 00:09:14,482
‐Yes.
<i>‐...like vibrators and such.</i>

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Does your wife use a vibrator?

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00:09:16,529 --> 00:09:19,952
‐[man] <i>No.</i>
‐Would she want to use one?

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00:09:20,202 --> 00:09:22,248
<i>‐Uh, I'm not sure.</i>
‐You're not sure.

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00:09:22,332 --> 00:09:25,505
Uh, would you like to see her use one?

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<i>‐Yeah.</i>
‐OK, go out and buy one.

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[man laughing] <i>OK.</i>

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00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:34,397
[John]
<i>When we went on the air in 1984</i>

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<i>there was no one as explicit</i>
<i>about sexuality as Ruth.</i>

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<i>You have a certain list of words</i>
<i>you can't say.</i>

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Well, we said them.

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00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:50,597
And then let him insert his penis
into the vagina from behind.

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The reason I am saying from behind
is so that the clitoris should be exposed,

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so that either you or he
can stimulate the clitoris to orgasm.

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00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:06,504
[Greg] <i>Younger people don't</i>
<i>understand the controversy.</i>

189
00:10:08,298 --> 00:10:11,597
<i>She was always saying</i>
<i>there is no such thing as normal.</i>

190
00:10:12,766 --> 00:10:14,060
<i>We are all normal.</i>

191
00:10:14,854 --> 00:10:16,858
Ruth was on the forefront of that

192
00:10:16,941 --> 00:10:19,320
and she gave us permission
to talk about that.

193
00:10:19,404 --> 00:10:22,536
I think it's wonderful that people can ask
you these things

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00:10:22,619 --> 00:10:26,460
that they never would have dared
to ask even 10 years ago.

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00:10:26,544 --> 00:10:29,800
[man] <i>Lately when my girlfriend</i>
<i>and I have, um, been having intercourse,</i>

196
00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:33,975
<i>I've been ejaculating</i>
<i>right after intercourse begins, and‐‐</i>

197
00:10:34,058 --> 00:10:37,023
You mean as soon as you are entering
into the vagina?

198
00:10:37,106 --> 00:10:37,983
[man] <i>Just a little bit.</i>

199
00:10:38,066 --> 00:10:40,154
[Greg] <i>She was very careful</i>
<i>to make sure</i>

200
00:10:40,237 --> 00:10:43,327
<i>that her professional credentials</i>
<i>were always evident.</i>

201
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,458
<i>She taught at Columbia University,</i>
<i>at Princeton,</i>

202
00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:48,755
<i>and she was a licensed sex therapist.</i>

203
00:10:49,255 --> 00:10:53,973
<i>So it worked, and we did almost</i>
<i>five hundred shows</i> [laughing].

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00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:59,484
I think it has something to do with my not
being tall and blonde and gorgeous.

205
00:11:00,654 --> 00:11:03,743
And because I'm an older woman,
very often they say,

206
00:11:04,369 --> 00:11:08,586
“If only my mother, if only my grandmother
could talk like that.”

207
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:16,727
Thank You.

208
00:11:16,811 --> 00:11:19,733
Thank you, from your mouth to the censors!

209
00:11:21,069 --> 00:11:23,448
[Greg] <i>Every single time</i>
<i>I'm with her,</i>

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00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:26,454
<i>people come up and tell her</i>
<i>she affected their life</i>

211
00:11:26,914 --> 00:11:29,962
or saved their life
or saved them from committing suicide.

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00:11:31,256 --> 00:11:35,682
<i>All because this loving</i>
<i>grandmother was on TV</i>

213
00:11:35,765 --> 00:11:39,439
<i>talking honestly about relationships,</i>

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00:11:39,523 --> 00:11:41,986
<i>how we love, who we love.</i>

215
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:45,994
<i>The most personal and profound things</i>
<i>that give us happiness.</i>

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00:11:46,996 --> 00:11:49,292
[man] <i>Welcome the one and only</i>
<i>Dr. Ruth Westheimer.</i>

217
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,419
[applause]

218
00:11:50,503 --> 00:11:54,260
[Diane] <i>Wherever she goes,</i>
<i>she advises, she educates, she shocks.</i>

219
00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:59,897
Anything that two consenting adults do
in the privacy of their bedroom,

220
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:02,569
living room, kitchen floor is all right.

221
00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:05,867
[Diane] <i>But some of</i>
<i>Dr. Ruth Westheimer's colleagues</i>

222
00:12:05,951 --> 00:12:08,372
<i>think she's doing more harm than good.</i>

223
00:12:08,539 --> 00:12:12,171
[Dr. Lee] <i>I think she's very quick to give</i>
<i>very specific advice without having</i>

224
00:12:12,254 --> 00:12:15,010
background information
on the person's life.

225
00:12:15,094 --> 00:12:19,394
All right, Tracy. I think that you should
find yourself a new man. OK?

226
00:12:20,605 --> 00:12:22,024
[Diane]
<i>So you think she's reckless?</i>

227
00:12:23,151 --> 00:12:27,995
It's a hard word. I hate to use the word,
but yes, she is reckless.

228
00:12:28,078 --> 00:12:32,044
[Diane] <i>But she's not bothered much</i>
<i>by criticism, the woman the magazines call</i>

229
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:35,844
<i>“The Happy Munchkin of Sex,”</i>
<i>is in fact pretty tough.</i>

230
00:12:36,261 --> 00:12:40,937
<i>She was a young child living in Frankfurt,</i>
<i>Germany when the Nazis came to power.</i>

231
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:45,947
[Dr. Ruth] So...

232
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:49,078
[rustling]

233
00:12:50,289 --> 00:12:53,253
...I have something
that is very sacred.

234
00:12:56,594 --> 00:13:00,017
When I left Germany,
when I was ten,

235
00:13:00,476 --> 00:13:03,440
the only thing in that suitcase

236
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,196
that came from my parents

237
00:13:06,697 --> 00:13:08,325
was this washcloth.

238
00:13:08,408 --> 00:13:10,162
Look how beautiful it is.

239
00:13:10,747 --> 00:13:11,916
And in here,

240
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,295
KS,

241
00:13:14,797 --> 00:13:16,801
which is Karola Siegel.

242
00:13:17,176 --> 00:13:22,854
My name in Germany was Karola.
And this washcloth always was with me.

243
00:13:23,438 --> 00:13:25,359
I never forget where I have it.

244
00:13:26,152 --> 00:13:30,160
And, uh, it kind of links me

245
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:33,500
to, uh, to my past.

246
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:40,598
<i>I was born on June 4th, 1928</i>

247
00:13:40,682 --> 00:13:43,353
<i>with the name Karola Siegel</i>

248
00:13:43,436 --> 00:13:46,986
<i>in a village not far from</i>
<i>Frankfurt, Germany.</i>

249
00:13:48,573 --> 00:13:54,000
<i>I was an only child</i>
<i>to Orthodox Jewish parents.</i>

250
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,837
<i>Not rich people,</i>

251
00:13:55,920 --> 00:14:00,638
<i>but the first 10 years</i>
<i>of my childhood were ideal.</i>

252
00:14:00,722 --> 00:14:06,274
<i>Loving parents, adoring grandmother,</i>
<i>and they cared for me very much.</i>

253
00:14:10,324 --> 00:14:15,375
<i>But in the 1930s</i>
<i>things changed drastically</i>

254
00:14:15,459 --> 00:14:17,589
<i>as Hitler came to power.</i>

255
00:14:21,597 --> 00:14:24,645
<i>One morning in November 1938,</i>

256
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:27,984
<i>the Nazis arrived at the apartment.</i>

257
00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:34,581
<i>There was no shouting,</i>
<i>but I was 10 and a half, so I was scared.</i>

258
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:41,469
<i>I remember the black boots and</i>
<i>the Nazis told my father, "Get dressed."</i>

259
00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:48,609
<i>My grandmother had money</i>
<i>in the seam of her skirt.</i>

260
00:14:49,026 --> 00:14:54,830
<i>She gave it to the Nazi and said,</i>
<i>“Take good care of my son.”</i>

261
00:14:57,042 --> 00:15:02,595
<i>They took my father downstairs.</i>
<i>And before he went into the truck,</i>

262
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:07,146
<i>he turned around</i>
<i>and smiled and waved,</i>

263
00:15:07,647 --> 00:15:10,402
<i>despite the fact that</i>
<i>he must've been horrified.</i>

264
00:15:13,491 --> 00:15:16,790
<i>A few months before the war broke out,</i>

265
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,088
<i>it looked very bleak in Germany.</i>

266
00:15:20,882 --> 00:15:26,184
<i>Synagogues were burned and the Jewish</i>
<i>business were plundered.</i>

267
00:15:28,606 --> 00:15:33,406
<i>My father sent a postcard from</i>
<i>the labor camp saying</i>

268
00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:38,834
<i>that I have to join a group of</i>
<i>Orthodox Jewish children.</i>

269
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:43,384
<i>A Kindertransport that were</i>
<i>permitted to come to Switzerland.</i>

270
00:15:44,386 --> 00:15:46,307
I didn't want to leave Frankfurt.

271
00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:50,691
<i>I had 13 dolls.</i>
<i>I had 2 doll houses. I had roller skates.</i>

272
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,654
<i>I was an only child.</i>

273
00:15:52,737 --> 00:15:57,204
<i>I had a grandmother with nothing else</i>
<i>to do but to take care of me.</i>

274
00:15:57,664 --> 00:16:02,172
<i>But I was 10 and a half and when I saw</i>
<i>that postcard, I knew I had to go.</i>

275
00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:08,059
<i>The next morning,</i>
<i>my mother and grandmother came with me</i>

276
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:11,650
<i>to the railroad station in Frankfurt.</i>

277
00:16:13,194 --> 00:16:16,033
<i>My mother hugged me.</i>
<i>My grandmother hugged me.</i>

278
00:16:16,535 --> 00:16:18,789
<i>I went into the wagon.</i>

279
00:16:19,498 --> 00:16:23,006
<i>I looked out and I did</i>
<i>what my father had done.</i>

280
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:26,889
<i>I was very sad, but I waved at them</i>

281
00:16:26,972 --> 00:16:31,607
<i>in order to make it easier</i>
<i>for them to say goodbye.</i>

282
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,443
[train chugging]

283
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:48,306
[train chugging in the distance]

284
00:16:52,397 --> 00:16:56,239
<i>My parents actually gave me life twice.</i>

285
00:16:57,449 --> 00:17:03,336
<i>Once when I was born, and</i>
<i>once when they sent me to Switzerland.</i>

286
00:17:09,181 --> 00:17:12,187
<i>Everybody was very worried in the train.</i>

287
00:17:12,271 --> 00:17:16,780
<i>We thought, what's going to happen next?</i>
<i>Will I ever see my family again?</i>

288
00:17:17,155 --> 00:17:21,832
<i>So, in order to have a little bit</i>
<i>of an easier time</i>

289
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,961
<i>I started singing</i>

290
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,675
<i>the songs of my Jewish background.</i>

291
00:17:27,259 --> 00:17:32,269
<i>Some of the songs of Germany.</i>
<i>A lot of children songs.</i>

292
00:17:32,937 --> 00:17:35,191
<i>And I made everybody else sing.</i>

293
00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:37,195
[children laughing]

294
00:17:42,289 --> 00:17:47,717
<i>When the group of children got to</i>
<i>the village of Heiden in Switzerland,</i>

295
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,305
<i>fifty of us went to a children's home</i>

296
00:17:50,388 --> 00:17:53,646
<i>that became an orphanage</i>
<i>for people like us.</i>

297
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:59,073
<i>And when I got to the home, I wanted</i>
<i>to show how well brought up I was,</i>

298
00:17:59,406 --> 00:18:02,955
<i>so I went to the headmistress of</i>
<i>this orphanage,</i>

299
00:18:03,039 --> 00:18:05,795
<i>her name was Riesenfeld, and I said,</i>

300
00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:13,852
<i>We were second class citizens.</i>

301
00:18:14,646 --> 00:18:20,533
<i>We had to take care of the Swiss children</i>
<i>and do all the housekeeping.</i>

302
00:18:21,952 --> 00:18:27,087
<i>It's strange because</i>
<i>that orphanage was called Wartheim.</i>

303
00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,718
<i>Warten means "to wait."</i>

304
00:18:30,594 --> 00:18:35,646
<i>But we had no idea how long</i>
<i>we would actually be there.</i>

305
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:50,467
This diary, if you can see this,
has even a lock.

306
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:56,605
Now, don't ask me where the key is.
I found it. Here's the key!

307
00:19:00,361 --> 00:19:04,077
<i>I started keeping a diary</i>
<i>in the orphanage in Switzerland.</i>

308
00:19:05,205 --> 00:19:09,421
<i>I would write things in there that</i>
<i>I would never talk about to anybody.</i>

309
00:19:12,177 --> 00:19:14,849
[speaking German]

310
00:19:15,518 --> 00:19:18,649
[in English]
Mommy, why are you not around?

311
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:25,746
[speaking German]

312
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:31,633
[in English] <i>Why are you not around?</i>
<i>I would work for you.</i>

313
00:19:31,716 --> 00:19:35,975
<i>I would support you.</i>
<i>I would make you a good life.</i>

314
00:19:38,647 --> 00:19:42,195
[young Ruth] <i>I get up at 6:30</i>
<i>in the morning. I get dressed.</i>

315
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:46,495
<i>We wake the children at 7</i>
<i>and then I'm busy until 7:30.</i>

316
00:19:47,582 --> 00:19:50,671
<i>After that, I set the tables,</i>
<i>clean the dining room,</i>

317
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,382
<i>and comb the childrens' hair.</i>

318
00:19:53,301 --> 00:19:55,973
<i>After lunch, I put the little girls</i>
<i>to bed for their nap.</i>

319
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,977
<i>Then I do some mending.</i>

320
00:19:58,812 --> 00:20:03,029
<i>In the evening, I help bathe the children</i>
<i>and after dinner, I clean their shoes.</i>

321
00:20:03,822 --> 00:20:06,201
<i>I like all my chores very much.</i>

322
00:20:07,078 --> 00:20:10,794
[Dr. Ruth] <i>I was always worried</i>
<i>the headmistress Riesenfeld</i>

323
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,924
<i>would find those diaries.</i>

324
00:20:13,675 --> 00:20:17,934
<i>So I didn't write anything bad</i>
<i>against the orphanage.</i>

325
00:20:20,063 --> 00:20:24,237
<i>The people who took care of us</i>
<i>were themselves refugees.</i>

326
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,162
<i>They were worried about their own lives.</i>

327
00:20:30,124 --> 00:20:34,968
<i>So all of these children including me</i>
<i>became like brothers and sisters</i>

328
00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:36,846
<i>watching over each other.</i>

329
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:39,184
[door bell rings]

330
00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:41,188
OK, his wife is here.

331
00:20:42,232 --> 00:20:43,317
[Dr. Ruth] Hey!

332
00:20:43,401 --> 00:20:46,198
‐Saved by the bell!
‐[Dr. Ruth] Hey, we found it.

333
00:20:46,658 --> 00:20:49,121
All right, all right, all right.

334
00:20:49,747 --> 00:20:51,960
‐You were my first boyfriend.
‐[Walter] OK.

335
00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:54,297
You were a little younger than me.

336
00:20:56,636 --> 00:21:01,270
You were the most
important person in Heiden

337
00:21:01,646 --> 00:21:02,857
in my life

338
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,484
and then you cheated on me!

339
00:21:04,861 --> 00:21:06,488
‐He went with an older woman.
‐[Debbie speaking]

340
00:21:08,284 --> 00:21:11,331
I know I'm older than him,
but he went with a much older woman!

341
00:21:13,453 --> 00:21:14,453
[Walter speaking]

342
00:21:16,551 --> 00:21:17,511
Right.

343
00:21:30,161 --> 00:21:32,123
[beeping]

344
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,292
All the time!

345
00:21:34,837 --> 00:21:36,591
[Dr. Ruth] <i>You were so cute.</i>

346
00:21:37,008 --> 00:21:38,970
<i>You were so good looking</i>

347
00:21:39,387 --> 00:21:44,356
<i>that it was absolutely normal</i>
<i>that I was in love with you.</i>

348
00:21:45,609 --> 00:21:47,951
<i>We kept it secret.</i>
<i>But I'm sure everybody knew.</i>

349
00:21:48,035 --> 00:21:49,074
[Walter speaking]

350
00:21:56,463 --> 00:21:57,382
<i>Verboten.</i>

351
00:21:58,425 --> 00:22:00,429
‐It was not permitted.
‐Absolutely.

352
00:22:01,014 --> 00:22:03,603
Because you were in
the room above me,

353
00:22:03,687 --> 00:22:05,524
you found a way

354
00:22:06,066 --> 00:22:07,944
of getting messages to me.

355
00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:08,676
[Walter speaking]

356
00:22:12,705 --> 00:22:14,876
[Dr. Ruth] <i>And he put little</i>
<i>slips there for me!</i>

357
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:17,213
‐[Walter] <i>Yes!</i>
‐[Dr. Ruth] <i>One of the message was,</i>

358
00:22:17,297 --> 00:22:19,009
You are my sunshine

359
00:22:20,469 --> 00:22:21,598
Let me hear.

360
00:22:21,764 --> 00:22:23,100
[Dr. Ruth] You are my...

361
00:22:23,184 --> 00:22:24,436
♪ <i>You are my sunshine</i> ♪

362
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:25,479
My little...

363
00:22:25,564 --> 00:22:27,358
♪ <i>My golden sunshine</i> ♪

364
00:22:27,442 --> 00:22:29,739
[both] You make me happy

365
00:22:29,822 --> 00:22:31,450
‐when skies are grey.
‐when skies are blue.

366
00:22:31,743 --> 00:22:33,454
[both] When skies are grey!

367
00:22:33,538 --> 00:22:35,124
<i>♪ You will never know, dear ♪</i>

368
00:22:35,584 --> 00:22:37,253
How much I love you.

369
00:22:37,337 --> 00:22:40,343
<i>♪ Please don't take my sunshine away ♪</i>

370
00:22:42,474 --> 00:22:43,514
[Walter speaking]

371
00:22:54,872 --> 00:22:55,874
[Dr. Ruth] <i>Experimenting.</i>

372
00:22:57,795 --> 00:23:00,968
When we were teenagers,
there was somebody

373
00:23:01,426 --> 00:23:05,268
who said that I showed you my breasts.

374
00:23:06,395 --> 00:23:08,482
And I... [laughing]

375
00:23:09,025 --> 00:23:10,988
But there was a rumor going.

376
00:23:11,071 --> 00:23:12,992
And I was horrified.

377
00:23:13,367 --> 00:23:17,710
I knew Switzerland was surrounded by Nazis

378
00:23:18,168 --> 00:23:21,091
and if I would have been
kicked out of Heiden,

379
00:23:21,174 --> 00:23:22,176
where would I be?

380
00:23:23,137 --> 00:23:25,726
<i>There was no place on earth for me.</i>

381
00:23:27,980 --> 00:23:32,614
<i>So we didn't have sex,</i>
<i>but we hugged and we kissed.</i>

382
00:23:32,698 --> 00:23:34,910
And guess what?
Come here, I'll tell you something.

383
00:23:34,994 --> 00:23:38,877
I can still remember
the taste of those kisses.

384
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,338
Don't tell anybody!

385
00:23:46,183 --> 00:23:48,605
[young Ruth] <i>I read a book called</i>
Letters for Young Girls.

386
00:23:49,523 --> 00:23:52,236
<i>It was written by a physician</i>
<i>for sex education.</i>

387
00:23:53,782 --> 00:23:57,539
<i>Everything in nature is</i>
<i>so fantastically well organized.</i>

388
00:23:58,290 --> 00:24:01,589
<i>One can't possibly think</i>
<i>that anything about it is dirty.</i>

389
00:24:06,724 --> 00:24:08,477
[male announcer reading]

390
00:24:17,078 --> 00:24:19,040
Hello, you are on the air.

391
00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:21,044
‐[Sue] <i>Hi, Dr. Ruth.</i>
‐Hello.

392
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,675
<i>‐My name is Sue.</i>
‐Hi, Sue.

393
00:24:23,758 --> 00:24:27,098
[Sue] <i>I have a question and I'm kind</i>
<i>of embarrassed to ask it.</i>

394
00:24:27,558 --> 00:24:28,893
[Dr. Ruth] Take a deep breath.

395
00:24:28,977 --> 00:24:34,028
[Sue] <i>Um, I want to try to start</i>
<i>masturbating myself, OK?</i>

396
00:24:34,237 --> 00:24:35,156
Yes.

397
00:24:36,283 --> 00:24:38,078
[Dr. Ruth] <i>In the early 80s...</i>

398
00:24:39,038 --> 00:24:39,957
[woman] Come in!

399
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,963
[Dr. Ruth] <i>...people did not talk</i>
<i>about female sexuality.</i>

400
00:24:43,464 --> 00:24:45,844
Now, Janet, we are living in the 80s,

401
00:24:46,596 --> 00:24:48,850
so I think we can be perfectly frank.

402
00:24:49,685 --> 00:24:54,737
To begin with,
men have certain needs.

403
00:24:54,987 --> 00:24:56,991
[audience laughing]

404
00:24:58,202 --> 00:24:59,412
So do women.

405
00:25:00,289 --> 00:25:02,544
‐They do?
‐[audience laughing]

406
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:08,388
[Dr. Ruth] <i>They were still believing that</i>
<i>not only don't you talk about sex,</i>

407
00:25:08,472 --> 00:25:10,936
<i>but that women really don't enjoy it.</i>

408
00:25:11,019 --> 00:25:12,648
[man] <i>When a woman is frigid,</i>
<i>what happens‐‐</i>

409
00:25:12,731 --> 00:25:15,904
Oh, hold it!
That word you can't say on my program.

410
00:25:17,156 --> 00:25:18,993
There's no more frigid women,

411
00:25:19,077 --> 00:25:24,838
there are only some women
who have to learn how to be responsive.

412
00:25:24,922 --> 00:25:30,850
Could you take his hand
and show him how you need to be touched,

413
00:25:31,434 --> 00:25:36,486
how you need to be pleasured,
in order to be, uh, happy.

414
00:25:36,737 --> 00:25:37,906
That's what I'm after.

415
00:25:37,990 --> 00:25:40,119
It doesn't have to be with words,
it has to be something‐‐

416
00:25:40,202 --> 00:25:41,496
Well, men normally don't care, do they?

417
00:25:41,581 --> 00:25:42,498
That's not so.

418
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:46,006
Julie, very important for you because
young people are watching you.

419
00:25:46,381 --> 00:25:51,224
Very important to say that most men
do care very much.

420
00:25:51,308 --> 00:25:54,188
Some men, not you and not Andy,
but some men

421
00:25:55,190 --> 00:25:58,155
say when if they don't get
what they want...

422
00:25:58,238 --> 00:26:00,075
‐Yes.
‐...there is a term for that,

423
00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:01,328
that term is called‐‐

424
00:26:01,411 --> 00:26:02,748
[Conan] What are you
talking about right now?

425
00:26:02,831 --> 00:26:04,042
‐ Blue [beep].
‐[Conan] What?

426
00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:05,545
‐ Blue [beep], say it.
‐[audience laughing]

427
00:26:05,712 --> 00:26:07,799
I'm not gonna‐‐
No, I'm not gonna say that.

428
00:26:08,258 --> 00:26:11,014
No, I'm not gonna say that. No!

429
00:26:11,348 --> 00:26:14,479
[Dr. Ruth] <i>It frustrated me,</i>
<i>the term "blue balls"</i>

430
00:26:14,563 --> 00:26:18,195
<i>and there was nothing for women</i>
<i>who didn't reach orgasm.</i>

431
00:26:18,613 --> 00:26:21,201
We should coin a new term,

432
00:26:21,284 --> 00:26:25,042
so that she can say,
"Honey, I need some more

433
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,545
hugging and kissing and touching."

434
00:26:26,587 --> 00:26:29,092
‐[Conan] Yes.
‐That term should be "blue lips."

435
00:26:29,258 --> 00:26:31,096
‐[audience laughing]
‐So now,

436
00:26:34,352 --> 00:26:36,649
but... but I'll tell you.

437
00:26:37,943 --> 00:26:40,949
[applause and cheering]

438
00:26:41,659 --> 00:26:47,504
[Dr. Ruth] <i>It has a little to do with my</i>
<i>having to make decisions about my life</i>

439
00:26:47,754 --> 00:26:53,056
<i>early on showed me that</i>
<i>women have to take the initiative</i>

440
00:26:53,140 --> 00:26:57,398
<i>and have the responsibility for themselves</i>

441
00:26:57,481 --> 00:26:59,570
<i>and for their own sexuality.</i>

442
00:27:00,237 --> 00:27:03,201
I have admired you for a long time

443
00:27:03,661 --> 00:27:09,046
and part of what you have been doing has
really permitted women like myself

444
00:27:09,130 --> 00:27:13,096
to speak openly and to stand up
and to be counted

445
00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:16,812
and talk about such issues as sexuality.

446
00:27:16,896 --> 00:27:19,192
Well, it's something we're all
doing together, I think.

447
00:27:19,651 --> 00:27:22,741
I've never heard women tell the truth
about sex before in public in my life.

448
00:27:27,834 --> 00:27:29,505
[Miriam] You once told me that

449
00:27:29,588 --> 00:27:32,384
you raised me with certain values
but I took them a little too far.

450
00:27:32,468 --> 00:27:36,560
So you wanted me to be a feminist,
but you said when you go out to dinner

451
00:27:36,644 --> 00:27:39,023
let the guy pay once in a while.

452
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,612
You don't have to always pay
your own way.

453
00:27:42,822 --> 00:27:46,997
Omi, so you know how you keep giving me
things that say feminist on them?

454
00:27:47,498 --> 00:27:49,586
‐[Dr. Ruth] Mm‐hmm. No.
‐Are you a feminist?

455
00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:52,634
‐Why?
‐I'm old fashioned and a square.

456
00:27:52,717 --> 00:27:56,642
Do you agree that men and women
should have equal rights?

457
00:27:56,934 --> 00:27:58,646
‐Yes.
‐[Miriam] Equal pay?

458
00:27:58,729 --> 00:28:00,482
Absolutely, equal pay.

459
00:28:01,317 --> 00:28:03,405
What about abortion,
should women be able to decide?

460
00:28:03,488 --> 00:28:04,908
[Dr. Ruth] Absolutely.
I said that already.

461
00:28:04,992 --> 00:28:05,994
OK, so you're a feminist.

462
00:28:06,202 --> 00:28:07,329
[Dr. Ruth] No. I said already‐‐

463
00:28:07,413 --> 00:28:10,545
Recently I asked her, you know,
are you a feminist?

464
00:28:10,837 --> 00:28:14,093
And she said no,
and I was really upset by this.

465
00:28:14,176 --> 00:28:17,517
<i>Everything she does is</i>
<i>what a feminist would do.</i>

466
00:28:17,601 --> 00:28:21,775
<i>Speaks at Planned Parenthood, you know,</i>
<i>supports gay rights,</i>

467
00:28:21,859 --> 00:28:24,113
<i>AIDS research, pro‐choice issues.</i>

468
00:28:24,196 --> 00:28:26,619
<i>But she doesn't think</i>
<i>she's a feminist herself.</i>

469
00:28:26,702 --> 00:28:29,625
[Miriam] In our language, you would
very much be called a feminist.

470
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:33,883
What you resist is the activist,
protesting and you know, the kinda...

471
00:28:33,966 --> 00:28:35,469
‐[Leora] Burning bras.
‐[Miriam] ...bra burning.

472
00:28:35,553 --> 00:28:37,724
I don't want you to walk
around burning bra.

473
00:28:38,099 --> 00:28:42,316
But I think people look up to you
as a feminist role model.

474
00:28:43,026 --> 00:28:45,865
OK, that's all right.
I don't want them to change their mind.

475
00:28:45,948 --> 00:28:48,119
‐[Leora] OK, but‐‐
‐I just brought you a hat, right?

476
00:28:48,203 --> 00:28:51,459
[Leora] I know, but you should‐‐ instead
of giving me the stuff that says feminist

477
00:28:51,543 --> 00:28:52,962
you should keep some of it.

478
00:28:53,923 --> 00:28:56,512
‐Just say it. “I'm a feminist.”
‐No...

479
00:28:57,889 --> 00:28:59,100
‐[Dr. Ruth] But I love you.
‐[Miram] Say "I'm not‐‐"

480
00:28:59,183 --> 00:29:00,561
"I'm a non‐radical feminist."

481
00:29:00,645 --> 00:29:05,153
"I'm a non‐radical feminist"
and I love my granddaughter.

482
00:29:28,366 --> 00:29:31,497
[Dr. Ruth] <i>Once I was already</i>
<i>in the orphanage,</i>

483
00:29:31,957 --> 00:29:36,967
<i>my father was permitted to</i>
<i>return from the labor camp to Frankfurt.</i>

484
00:29:38,094 --> 00:29:44,064
<i>The war had started and it was a very</i>
<i>dangerous place to live for my parents.</i>

485
00:29:45,025 --> 00:29:48,323
<i>But they never wrote about that sadness</i>

486
00:29:48,406 --> 00:29:52,080
<i>in the letters that I received every week.</i>

487
00:29:54,711 --> 00:29:58,176
<i>I kept every single one of their letters.</i>

488
00:30:08,196 --> 00:30:09,699
[mother] <i>My dear Karola,</i>

489
00:30:10,576 --> 00:30:14,041
<i>your nice letter of December 15th reached</i>
<i>us today.</i>

490
00:30:15,001 --> 00:30:20,095
<i>By this time your Hanukkah party is</i>
<i>probably over. Was it nice?</i>

491
00:30:21,305 --> 00:30:25,731
<i>We haven't heard from uncle Max.</i>
<i>We hope to get some news soon.</i>

492
00:30:26,984 --> 00:30:30,448
<i>I wish you my darling</i>
<i>the heartiest greeting.</i>

493
00:30:31,033 --> 00:30:34,039
<i>Loving kisses from your loving mommy.</i>

494
00:30:36,294 --> 00:30:39,968
[Dr. Ruth] <i>The letters gave me</i>
<i>a lot of hope and joy.</i>

495
00:30:42,599 --> 00:30:47,650
<i>My father, almost every letter</i>
<i>he wrote me in poetry.</i>

496
00:30:49,529 --> 00:30:55,248
[father] <i>Dear Karola, although verses</i>
<i>take time, you should know how to rhyme.</i>

497
00:30:55,625 --> 00:30:59,841
<i>Perhaps someone will teach it to you,</i>
<i>so you will know how to do it too.</i>

498
00:31:01,135 --> 00:31:05,393
<i>It's easier to say in a poem what in prose</i>
<i>may be too hard to utter.</i>

499
00:31:06,103 --> 00:31:11,030
<i>And just think, if you were at home,</i>
<i>you would not get a single letter.</i>

500
00:31:13,827 --> 00:31:18,044
[young Ruth] <i>I am now in the 8th grade</i>
<i>and next spring I have to finish school.</i>

501
00:31:19,088 --> 00:31:21,217
<i>I wish I could continue my education</i>

502
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:25,100
<i>because for my later profession it would</i>
<i>be very helpful to attend a high school.</i>

503
00:31:25,935 --> 00:31:28,941
<i>But girls from the orphanage</i>
<i>can't go to high school here.</i>

504
00:31:32,155 --> 00:31:33,575
[Dr. Ruth] <i>From all of us,</i>

505
00:31:34,034 --> 00:31:37,416
you were the smartest,
even smarter than me.

506
00:31:38,126 --> 00:31:41,925
Your influence on me had
to do with your intellect.

507
00:31:42,719 --> 00:31:45,098
‐Maybe.
‐That‐‐ no, that's very serious.

508
00:31:45,181 --> 00:31:47,060
You are lucky because you

509
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:51,653
were permitted to go to
the high school in the village...

510
00:31:52,029 --> 00:31:53,364
‐Yes.
‐...and I was not.

511
00:31:53,782 --> 00:31:55,493
‐That's right.
‐Because the girls

512
00:31:55,578 --> 00:31:58,751
‐had to become housemaids...
‐That's right.

513
00:31:58,834 --> 00:32:04,178
...but my father said you have to learn.
Nobody can take learning from you.

514
00:32:07,602 --> 00:32:11,233
<i>Walter went to the high school</i>
<i>during the day.</i>

515
00:32:12,235 --> 00:32:14,908
<i>At night, he would hide</i>
<i>under my bed</i>

516
00:32:15,534 --> 00:32:20,961
<i>and I took his books to the landing</i>
<i>of the stairs because there was light</i>

517
00:32:21,755 --> 00:32:26,556
<i>and I could read History,</i>
<i>English and Geography.</i>

518
00:32:27,767 --> 00:32:29,436
What did you do under the bed?

519
00:32:30,689 --> 00:32:32,150
‐Shiver?
‐Yes.

520
00:32:43,674 --> 00:32:44,527
[Dr. Ruth laughing]

521
00:33:07,972 --> 00:33:09,391
[Dr. Ruth] <i>I'm grateful to Switzerland.</i>

522
00:33:09,851 --> 00:33:13,399
<i>They gave me a roof over my head</i>
<i>and fed me</i>

523
00:33:14,276 --> 00:33:17,575
but I also know that they used people
like Riesenfeld,

524
00:33:18,034 --> 00:33:20,956
<i>to run this orphanage. Stupid.</i>

525
00:33:21,541 --> 00:33:25,799
Instead of her saying,
"Your parents sacrificed

526
00:33:26,509 --> 00:33:29,974
to let their only child leave to safety,"

527
00:33:30,058 --> 00:33:33,732
she said that our parents did not love us.

528
00:33:34,149 --> 00:33:37,155
That if she had a child
she would never let it go.

529
00:33:38,324 --> 00:33:40,955
So there are certain things
I cannot forgive.

530
00:33:47,217 --> 00:33:49,806
[young Ruth] <i>Yesterday I turned 13.</i>

531
00:33:49,889 --> 00:33:53,522
<i>I was permitted to accompany the older</i>
<i>girls to the swimming pool in the village.</i>

532
00:33:54,398 --> 00:33:57,028
<i>I can already jump</i>
<i>from the three‐meter board.</i>

533
00:33:57,530 --> 00:33:59,491
[splash]

534
00:33:59,951 --> 00:34:01,328
[mother] <i>My dear Karola,</i>

535
00:34:01,871 --> 00:34:05,253
<i>I am looking forward to the day</i>
<i>when I can read your diary.</i>

536
00:34:05,796 --> 00:34:08,677
<i>May you grow up to be</i>
<i>a capable, young woman,</i>

537
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,098
<i>always healthy and content.</i>

538
00:34:11,725 --> 00:34:13,895
<i>Your birthday present will follow later.</i>

539
00:34:14,354 --> 00:34:16,400
<i>It may take quite a while.</i>

540
00:34:17,110 --> 00:34:21,368
[Dr. Ruth] <i>The first time that I realized</i>
<i>that something horrible has happened</i>

541
00:34:21,911 --> 00:34:23,122
<i>is when the letters stopped.</i>

542
00:34:28,550 --> 00:34:29,969
[young Ruth] <i>It is almost seven weeks</i>

543
00:34:30,053 --> 00:34:32,767
<i>that I don't have mail</i>
<i>from my parents and grandma.</i>

544
00:34:36,023 --> 00:34:40,114
<i>Today it is nine weeks and 1 day</i>
<i>that I have no mail from my parents.</i>

545
00:34:43,287 --> 00:34:48,005
<i>Today it is three years that I am here.</i>
<i>Now I must go to bed.</i>

546
00:34:48,882 --> 00:34:54,727
<i>Goodnight mama, papa, grandma,</i>
<i>and all, all my relatives.</i>

547
00:34:58,985 --> 00:35:02,952
<i>Yesterday, I helped pick up 12 children</i>
<i>who entered Switzerland illegally.</i>

548
00:35:03,912 --> 00:35:06,960
<i>A girl from Hungary was telling us</i>
<i>of all the suffering she saw.</i>

549
00:35:08,505 --> 00:35:13,055
<i>Mass murders, gas chambers,</i>
<i>and other horrible things.</i>

550
00:35:16,646 --> 00:35:20,361
<i>It's been over five years since I've heard</i>
<i>anything from my family.</i>

551
00:35:21,405 --> 00:35:24,327
<i>I would so much like to relive</i>
<i>the days with my parents,</i>

552
00:35:25,037 --> 00:35:27,167
<i>I did not know what they meant to me.</i>

553
00:35:28,545 --> 00:35:30,298
<i>I know that I must not lose hope,</i>

554
00:35:30,716 --> 00:35:34,097
<i>but it's not easy to keep believing</i>
<i>that I will ever see them again.</i>

555
00:35:48,083 --> 00:35:52,217
[Melissa Eagan] I have great respect for
you and I'm really happy you're here.

556
00:35:52,467 --> 00:35:55,599
[Dr. Ruth] Thank you. All right!

557
00:35:56,893 --> 00:35:58,855
Dr. Ruth, wonderful to meet you.

558
00:35:58,939 --> 00:36:00,526
[Dr. Ruth] Nice to meet you,
I heard about you.

559
00:36:04,909 --> 00:36:09,000
We are back, this is Midday on WNYC,
I'm Jonathan Capehart

560
00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:11,463
and I am speaking with the iconic,

561
00:36:11,548 --> 00:36:15,054
world renowned sex and relationship
therapist, Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

562
00:36:15,471 --> 00:36:16,891
‐In her latest book‐‐
‐[Dr. Ruth] Hold it, Jonathan.

563
00:36:16,975 --> 00:36:17,935
Jonathan, wait.

564
00:36:18,018 --> 00:36:21,191
‐[Jonathan] Yes, ma'am.
‐Now say the word sex with more emotion.

565
00:36:21,275 --> 00:36:22,318
[nervous laughter]

566
00:36:22,402 --> 00:36:25,324
[Dr. Ruth] Say that word sex
as if you really mean it.

567
00:36:25,408 --> 00:36:26,870
‐[Jonathan] OK.
‐With some warmth,

568
00:36:27,287 --> 00:36:29,499
with some excitement, with some arousal.

569
00:36:29,959 --> 00:36:31,880
‐[Dr. Ruth] Start again.
‐OK, yes, ma'am.

570
00:36:32,673 --> 00:36:34,844
[Jonathan] Um, I'm speaking
with the iconic,

571
00:36:34,927 --> 00:36:39,060
world renowned sex and relationship
therapist, Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

572
00:36:39,144 --> 00:36:40,062
How's that?

573
00:36:40,146 --> 00:36:41,566
‐That was wonderful.
‐[laughing]

574
00:36:41,858 --> 00:36:44,112
I just want to thank you personally,
Dr. Ruth.

575
00:36:44,655 --> 00:36:48,914
Growing up listening to you on the radio
as a young gay kid,

576
00:36:48,997 --> 00:36:52,462
it was wonderful to hear someone say
something positive

577
00:36:52,546 --> 00:36:56,261
about an aspect of my life,
that I was trying to come to terms with.

578
00:36:56,763 --> 00:37:02,357
So, Dr. Ruth, you write that one of
your least favorite words is "normal."

579
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:03,442
‐Right.
‐Why?

580
00:37:03,777 --> 00:37:05,321
Because we don't know what normal is.

581
00:37:05,404 --> 00:37:08,995
And I want to tell you something about
what you just said, Jonathan.

582
00:37:09,371 --> 00:37:13,964
Uh, in those days, in 1981
when I started WYNY...

583
00:37:14,214 --> 00:37:15,717
‐Yeah, that's right.
‐...<i>Sexually Speaking,</i>

584
00:37:16,093 --> 00:37:19,099
nobody talked about homosexuality.

585
00:37:19,767 --> 00:37:22,982
The one thing that I have done forever,

586
00:37:23,482 --> 00:37:26,656
is to say, respect is not debatable.

587
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:29,578
There is no such thing as normal.

588
00:37:30,204 --> 00:37:33,293
You know, we have a caller
in Brooklyn. Michelle.

589
00:37:34,045 --> 00:37:37,553
[Michelle] <i>As a teenager in the '80s</i>
<i>listening to you on the radio,</i>

590
00:37:37,636 --> 00:37:40,057
<i>and, there's a lot of shame around sex.</i>

591
00:37:40,141 --> 00:37:43,940
<i>And your nonjudgmental</i>
<i>perspective saved my life.</i>

592
00:37:44,190 --> 00:37:47,238
‐Oh, I like to hear that.
‐[Michelle] <i>Thank you. You're an angel.</i>

593
00:37:47,405 --> 00:37:50,036
I like to hear that,
I accept to be an angel,

594
00:37:50,119 --> 00:37:52,875
I'm a Jewish angel,
that's OK. Thank you.

595
00:37:52,958 --> 00:37:55,129
So you know,
to, to Michelle's point,

596
00:37:55,212 --> 00:37:58,887
how does it feel to
have people who you've never met before

597
00:37:58,970 --> 00:38:02,101
say things to you
that range from "thank you"

598
00:38:02,185 --> 00:38:04,648
to "you saved my life."

599
00:38:04,732 --> 00:38:07,571
As you know, I'm four foot seven,

600
00:38:08,489 --> 00:38:11,954
and I feel like six feet tall.

601
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:15,796
But I cannot just sit
and say I did a good job.

602
00:38:16,296 --> 00:38:17,465
We have to continue

603
00:38:17,966 --> 00:38:20,514
to talk about issues of sexuality,

604
00:38:20,889 --> 00:38:24,772
and about issues of sexually
transmitted diseases.

605
00:38:28,780 --> 00:38:31,619
Today, we are going to talk about
a very serious subject matter.

606
00:38:31,702 --> 00:38:34,625
We are going to talk about
the AIDS health crisis

607
00:38:34,708 --> 00:38:39,844
and we are going to talk about how it
affects particularly the gay community.

608
00:38:41,138 --> 00:38:43,768
[Tom Brokaw] <i>Scientists at the national</i>
<i>centers for disease control</i>

609
00:38:43,852 --> 00:38:46,649
<i>in Atlanta today released</i>
<i>the results of a study</i>

610
00:38:46,983 --> 00:38:50,447
which shows that the lifestyle
of some male homosexuals

611
00:38:50,532 --> 00:38:53,830
<i>has triggered an epidemic</i>
<i>of a rare form of cancer.</i>

612
00:38:54,707 --> 00:38:57,546
[Dr. Ruth] <i>It was a very unpopular topic</i>

613
00:38:57,963 --> 00:39:01,804
<i>because gay people at the time, not only</i>
<i>were they a minority,</i>

614
00:39:02,013 --> 00:39:03,265
<i>they were despised.</i>

615
00:39:04,184 --> 00:39:06,814
[Billy Graham] <i>It may be a judgement</i>
<i>of God upon us,</i>

616
00:39:07,231 --> 00:39:12,200
<i>paying us back for our promiscuous society</i>
<i>and our free way of life.</i>

617
00:39:13,076 --> 00:39:16,458
We do reap it in our flesh
when we violate the laws of God.

618
00:39:19,005 --> 00:39:20,466
[Dr. Ruth] <i>I took that very seriously</i>

619
00:39:20,550 --> 00:39:23,806
<i>because of my background as</i>
<i>a German Jewish refugee.</i>

620
00:39:23,890 --> 00:39:25,977
JEWISH RESIDENTIAL AREA
NO TRESPASSING

621
00:39:26,269 --> 00:39:29,818
<i>I certainly had a sensitivity</i>

622
00:39:29,902 --> 00:39:33,325
<i>for the people who were</i>
<i>really regarded as sub‐human.</i>

623
00:39:33,743 --> 00:39:34,912
[male caller] <i>Hello, Dr. Ruth.</i>

624
00:39:34,995 --> 00:39:38,503
<i>I've got a girlfriend who's got a lot of</i>
<i>homosexuals for friends.</i>

625
00:39:38,586 --> 00:39:40,799
<i>Now she smokes cigarettes off them</i>

626
00:39:40,882 --> 00:39:43,178
<i>and drinks off their cokes</i>
<i>and eats their sandwiches.</i>

627
00:39:43,262 --> 00:39:46,686
<i>Is there anyway that she can transmit AIDS</i>
<i>because I'm, you know,</i>

628
00:39:46,769 --> 00:39:49,399
<i>I'm a healthy male and I don't want to be</i>
<i>getting AIDS through my girlfriend</i>

629
00:39:49,692 --> 00:39:51,403
<i>hanging around with homosexuals.</i>

630
00:39:52,071 --> 00:39:55,244
[John] <i>Dr. Ruth's show was at</i>
<i>the height of its popularity</i>

631
00:39:55,327 --> 00:39:57,541
<i>when the AIDS crisis erupted.</i>

632
00:39:58,918 --> 00:40:03,636
<i>It was a sad time.</i>
<i>People were dying all over the place</i>

633
00:40:04,972 --> 00:40:08,646
<i>and we were right in the middle of it</i>
<i>doing a program about sexuality.</i>

634
00:40:09,188 --> 00:40:13,990
[Dr. Ruth] <i>Some people are attracted</i>
<i>to members of their own sex,</i>

635
00:40:14,073 --> 00:40:16,494
<i>and I believe strongly</i>

636
00:40:16,579 --> 00:40:18,958
<i>that we, as a society,</i>

637
00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:23,383
<i>have to give these people all the respect.</i>

638
00:40:24,302 --> 00:40:25,555
[man] <i>I'm angry, doctor.</i>

639
00:40:25,764 --> 00:40:27,893
‐[Dr. Ruth] Why are you angry?
‐I think everyone should be angry.

640
00:40:27,976 --> 00:40:32,276
I see people dying alone
without their very own families.

641
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,491
<i>And I see grief.</i>
<i>And there's enough grief...</i>

642
00:40:35,575 --> 00:40:39,541
<i>This is a... this is a virus,</i>
<i>this is, uh, an epidemic.</i>

643
00:40:39,625 --> 00:40:43,465
It seems the high proportion
of people who are dying

644
00:40:43,549 --> 00:40:45,344
and succumbing to the AIDS virus

645
00:40:45,427 --> 00:40:49,102
are still in the homosexual community,
intravenous drug users‐‐

646
00:40:49,185 --> 00:40:54,655
I don't waste a moment of my time to blame
one or another group.

647
00:40:54,738 --> 00:40:58,370
I say, let's educate
and let's find a cure.

648
00:40:59,205 --> 00:41:02,211
[Greg] <i>Because she was</i>
<i>America's sex therapist,</i>

649
00:41:02,504 --> 00:41:03,673
<i>people trusted her.</i>

650
00:41:04,382 --> 00:41:09,058
<i>So she really started to shift awareness</i>
<i>of HIV and AIDS.</i>

651
00:41:09,726 --> 00:41:11,522
[Dr. Ruth] What makes me sad

652
00:41:12,566 --> 00:41:16,657
is that AIDS is still very relevant today.

653
00:41:17,074 --> 00:41:19,287
So you do have to be careful,

654
00:41:19,663 --> 00:41:21,332
you have to know with whom you go.

655
00:41:21,584 --> 00:41:25,466
And you do have‐‐ if you're not very
familiar with that person‐‐

656
00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:26,760
to use condoms.

657
00:41:29,641 --> 00:41:32,856
<i>I have a lot of friends who died</i>
<i>of that dreadful disease.</i>

658
00:41:34,902 --> 00:41:37,323
<i>But I'm always optimistic.</i>

659
00:41:37,949 --> 00:41:41,540
<i>I still believe that there will be a cure.</i>

660
00:41:51,688 --> 00:41:52,704
[speaking Hebrew]

661
00:41:58,448 --> 00:41:59,450
[Dr. Ruth] Shalom!

662
00:42:01,582 --> 00:42:02,592
[Marga speaking in Hebrew]

663
00:42:17,529 --> 00:42:21,662
[in English] I have no time to go to
the hairdresser, but my best friend

664
00:42:22,121 --> 00:42:26,880
already complains that my hair doesn't
look good. OK.

665
00:42:30,386 --> 00:42:32,034
[Marga speaking]

666
00:42:37,026 --> 00:42:38,069
[speaking German]

667
00:42:38,153 --> 00:42:39,740
[Dr. Ruth in English]
She was peeling potatoes.

668
00:42:45,877 --> 00:42:50,093
‐[radio static]
‐[man speaking German]

669
00:42:59,070 --> 00:43:03,286
[Dr. Ruth] <i>The orphanage received lists of</i>
<i>people who had survived</i>

670
00:43:04,121 --> 00:43:07,671
<i>but instead of calling in</i>
<i>individual children,</i>

671
00:43:08,380 --> 00:43:10,258
<i>they sat us down together</i>

672
00:43:10,635 --> 00:43:12,889
<i>and read them all to us.</i>

673
00:43:14,016 --> 00:43:16,980
<i>My family was never on any list.</i>

674
00:43:18,651 --> 00:43:22,449
<i>We were worried about what</i>
<i>would happen with us.</i>

675
00:43:23,076 --> 00:43:24,286
<i>What now?</i>

676
00:43:25,790 --> 00:43:29,422
We were not Germans anymore.
We were never Swiss.

677
00:43:30,633 --> 00:43:33,931
<i>So they assembled all of us</i>
<i>on a train.</i>

678
00:43:34,891 --> 00:43:39,860
<i>And we saw another railroad car</i>
<i>filled with Nazis.</i>

679
00:43:40,778 --> 00:43:44,953
<i>Those German prisoners of war were</i>
<i>looking out the windows</i>

680
00:43:45,036 --> 00:43:49,546
<i>and I remember what I was thinking.</i>
<i>"Maybe you killed my family."</i>

681
00:43:52,259 --> 00:43:53,929
When we got to Marseille,

682
00:43:54,305 --> 00:43:56,392
I had never seen an ocean.

683
00:43:56,894 --> 00:44:00,025
‐No.
‐I thought, "Oh, my gosh,

684
00:44:00,108 --> 00:44:01,152
look at that."

685
00:44:02,404 --> 00:44:06,830
[Dr. Ruth] <i>Little seventeen year old</i>
<i>Karola Siegel from Frankfurt am Main</i>

686
00:44:07,582 --> 00:44:10,253
<i>is now going on a boat to Palestine."</i>

687
00:44:12,341 --> 00:44:13,969
<i>We came to a Kibbutz</i>

688
00:44:14,513 --> 00:44:17,560
<i>which is a collective settlement for Jews.</i>

689
00:44:18,521 --> 00:44:21,108
<i>There was a tremendous hatred of Germany,</i>

690
00:44:21,192 --> 00:44:25,618
<i>and rightly so. So the people that were</i>
<i>responsible for us told me</i>

691
00:44:25,701 --> 00:44:29,124
"You can't be called Karola anymore,
it's too German."

692
00:44:29,626 --> 00:44:35,428
So I said OK, if I can't be Karola,
I'm going to take my middle name Ruth

693
00:44:36,222 --> 00:44:40,982
<i>because I've thought still</i>
<i>hope against hope,</i>

694
00:44:41,315 --> 00:44:44,321
<i>if anybody of my family is alive,</i>

695
00:44:44,698 --> 00:44:47,119
<i>they would know</i>
<i>that my middle name was Ruth.</i>

696
00:44:47,202 --> 00:44:49,373
They would come here
and they would find me.

697
00:44:59,519 --> 00:45:00,813
[cows mooing]

698
00:45:01,147 --> 00:45:02,274
[Dr. Ruth] Moo!

699
00:45:03,151 --> 00:45:04,236
They're beautiful.

700
00:45:07,034 --> 00:45:08,161
Marga,

701
00:45:09,121 --> 00:45:14,507
this reminds me of the first night
of my life.

702
00:45:16,595 --> 00:45:18,807
<i>His name was Kalman.</i>

703
00:45:19,976 --> 00:45:22,815
<i>He was very handsome.</i>

704
00:45:23,567 --> 00:45:25,028
<i>He was in the army</i>

705
00:45:25,403 --> 00:45:28,619
<i>and he came to visit his brother Shaul,</i>

706
00:45:29,328 --> 00:45:30,706
<i>who was my boyfriend.</i>

707
00:45:32,459 --> 00:45:35,340
<i>But just boyfriend of kissing and hugging.</i>

708
00:45:35,424 --> 00:45:36,593
[man]
Then how did it‐‐

709
00:45:38,137 --> 00:45:40,559
You ask such stupid questions!

710
00:45:40,977 --> 00:45:43,439
<i>Yes, but I said goodbye to Shaul.</i>

711
00:45:43,524 --> 00:45:46,320
<i>And I went with</i>
<i>his younger brother Kalman.</i>

712
00:45:47,364 --> 00:45:50,538
Shaul told his younger brother

713
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,418
"Take good care of her."
[speaking Hebrew]

714
00:45:58,721 --> 00:46:01,475
[in English] <i>I knew that I had to go some</i>
<i>place for privacy</i>

715
00:46:02,227 --> 00:46:07,697
so Kalman and I went up
on a haystack like that, high up.

716
00:46:12,205 --> 00:46:16,965
That was my first night ever
of actual sex.

717
00:46:19,136 --> 00:46:20,263
Nice to remember.

718
00:46:22,392 --> 00:46:23,937
[Dr. Ruth] <i>It was young love,</i>

719
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:28,989
<i>but like many young loves,</i>
<i>it was not meant to be.</i>

720
00:46:30,283 --> 00:46:36,003
<i>A few months later, he told me</i>
<i>"We have to end the relationship."</i>

721
00:46:36,922 --> 00:46:39,343
<i>I wanted to be together forever.</i>

722
00:46:40,261 --> 00:46:44,019
He didn't want to.
He said I would be a burden.

723
00:46:46,190 --> 00:46:47,985
[young Ruth] <i>Why did this have to happen?</i>

724
00:46:48,654 --> 00:46:50,950
<i>I gave him as much love as I could,</i>

725
00:46:51,283 --> 00:46:54,541
<i>but he took everything</i>
<i>and gave nothing in return.</i>

726
00:46:56,377 --> 00:47:00,553
<i>One word keeps coming back to me:</i>
<i>alone.</i>

727
00:47:01,930 --> 00:47:07,023
<i>I am so alone in this world.</i>
<i>I miss my parents terribly.</i>

728
00:47:33,242 --> 00:47:36,248
[Dr. Ruth] <i>The Nazis kept</i>
<i>detailed records.</i>

729
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:42,219
<i>And for many years I really didn't</i>
<i>want to see in black and white</i>

730
00:47:42,803 --> 00:47:44,431
<i>what happened to my parents.</i>

731
00:47:45,935 --> 00:47:48,272
<i>But as difficult as it is for me,</i>

732
00:47:48,815 --> 00:47:54,493
<i>I have an obligation to learn</i>
<i>about the fate of my family.</i>

733
00:47:57,541 --> 00:48:01,591
I've thought about, you know, when did my
parents tell me about the holocaust

734
00:48:01,675 --> 00:48:04,221
or, like, when did my mother tell me that

735
00:48:04,597 --> 00:48:07,435
she never saw her parents
after she was 10 years old?

736
00:48:08,396 --> 00:48:12,989
<i>And I don't have any recollection</i>
<i>of some moment.</i>

737
00:48:14,116 --> 00:48:17,999
[Miriam] <i>As I grew up, I realized I didn't</i>
<i>have grandparents on my mother's side.</i>

738
00:48:18,917 --> 00:48:21,798
So I would ask about that
and she would answer the questions.

739
00:48:22,550 --> 00:48:25,973
<i>But my mother didn't offer information.</i>

740
00:48:26,933 --> 00:48:29,647
[Simmy] OK, what's your maiden name?

741
00:48:29,731 --> 00:48:33,446
Siegel, S‐I‐E‐G‐E‐L.

742
00:48:34,114 --> 00:48:36,578
So we have a lot of Siegels here.

743
00:48:37,078 --> 00:48:39,458
Look at Julius Siegel.

744
00:48:40,544 --> 00:48:44,635
‐Julius?
‐Yeah, my father Julius. That's him.

745
00:48:45,261 --> 00:48:50,063
‐What does it say, list of?
‐List murdered Jews from Germany.

746
00:48:50,731 --> 00:48:53,570
[Dr.Ruth] Died in Auschwitz. 1942.

747
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:56,200
Oh, boy.

748
00:48:57,828 --> 00:49:00,626
My mother's maiden name
was Hanauer.

749
00:49:01,001 --> 00:49:02,045
Irma.

750
00:49:04,299 --> 00:49:05,385
[humming]

751
00:49:06,763 --> 00:49:08,600
‐This is also‐‐
‐Oh, that's it!

752
00:49:09,101 --> 00:49:10,813
‐Ni Hanauer, that's her.
‐Ni Hanauer.

753
00:49:10,896 --> 00:49:13,985
‐What does it say here? Was born in‐‐
‐Was born in Wiesenfeld...

754
00:49:14,069 --> 00:49:17,450
‐I was born in Wiesenfeld too. Right.
‐...Germany in 1903.

755
00:49:17,535 --> 00:49:21,375
‐Part of the war she lived in‐‐
‐Frankfurt Am Main, Germany.

756
00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:23,505
During the war she was in
the Linchmont Ghetto.

757
00:49:23,588 --> 00:49:25,174
[Dr. Ruth] Right, and nobody knows
what happened?

758
00:49:25,258 --> 00:49:27,053
[Simmy] Irma was murdered
in the Holocaust,

759
00:49:27,137 --> 00:49:29,474
‐but it doesn't have a specific location.
‐[Dr. Ruth] No place.

760
00:49:33,023 --> 00:49:34,151
Oh, boy.

761
00:49:35,445 --> 00:49:36,573
Sad.

762
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,373
My mother, there is no date of death,

763
00:49:42,125 --> 00:49:45,924
it just says the word “<i>verschollen</i>”
which is a horrible word.

764
00:49:46,008 --> 00:49:47,970
<i>Verschollen</i> means disappeared

765
00:49:48,220 --> 00:49:51,644
as if she was disappearing from the world.

766
00:49:52,312 --> 00:49:56,988
She was murdered someplace, but nobody
has any... nobody knows where,

767
00:49:57,698 --> 00:49:58,658
nothing.

768
00:49:58,742 --> 00:50:04,002
My father, I now know was killed in
Auschwitz and I have that date.

769
00:50:05,254 --> 00:50:07,927
‐You are on a recorder, Ruth.
‐Ruth K.

770
00:50:08,010 --> 00:50:09,805
The K is for Karola.

771
00:50:10,641 --> 00:50:12,227
‐I am‐‐
‐[Simmy] You are a survivor.

772
00:50:12,686 --> 00:50:14,439
[Dr. Ruth] I don't call myself a survivor.

773
00:50:14,524 --> 00:50:18,698
I call myself an orphan of the Holocaust

774
00:50:18,782 --> 00:50:21,955
because I was not in a camp,
but I was a survivor.

775
00:50:37,402 --> 00:50:41,118
<i>Thank you all for keeping</i>
<i>the memory of the Holocaust alive.</i>

776
00:50:42,245 --> 00:50:47,213
<i>If I would not have been sent to</i>
<i>Switzerland, I would not be alive today.</i>

777
00:50:48,382 --> 00:50:51,263
<i>I'll cry later</i>
<i>when nobody is around.</i>

778
00:50:51,764 --> 00:50:54,854
Yekas, German Jews, don't cry in public.

779
00:50:55,856 --> 00:50:57,610
Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer.

780
00:51:01,784 --> 00:51:06,126
[Miriam] <i>I think the trauma from that</i>
<i>unimaginable loss of her parents</i>

781
00:51:06,753 --> 00:51:10,343
<i>re‐configured her whole emotional makeup.</i>

782
00:51:12,305 --> 00:51:14,935
<i>And she just doesn't allow herself,</i>

783
00:51:15,646 --> 00:51:17,691
you know, that good deep cry

784
00:51:17,775 --> 00:51:20,781
that you do when you have to get rid of
some deep pain.

785
00:51:21,741 --> 00:51:25,456
I don't know if she ever has that.
I don't know.

786
00:51:40,737 --> 00:51:43,827
I'm not going further.
There is a warning about a dog.

787
00:51:44,077 --> 00:51:45,079
[Ryan] There's no dog.

788
00:51:46,916 --> 00:51:49,588
‐There is no dog, how do you know?
‐[Ryan] No dog. Because I just went in.

789
00:51:49,839 --> 00:51:51,718
[Ryan laughing]

790
00:51:53,847 --> 00:51:56,268
[Dr. Ruth] I don't rely on anybody.

791
00:51:57,103 --> 00:51:58,606
‐Shalom!
‐[speaking in Hebrew]

792
00:51:58,732 --> 00:52:00,234
[Dr. Ruth speaking in Hebrew]

793
00:52:03,115 --> 00:52:04,367
[man in English] Welcome, welcome.
[Dr. Ruth and Shmil speaking in Hebrew]

794
00:52:07,165 --> 00:52:08,585
[Dr. Ruth in English]
No. OK.

795
00:52:11,005 --> 00:52:12,032
[man speaking in Hebrew]

796
00:52:21,443 --> 00:52:24,491
[people yelling]

797
00:52:25,201 --> 00:52:29,292
[young Ruth] <i>The political situation in</i>
<i>Palestine is getting more and more tense.</i>

798
00:52:29,375 --> 00:52:32,800
<i>Since the UN partition broke the country</i>
<i>into separate states,</i>

799
00:52:32,883 --> 00:52:36,223
<i>a guerilla war has broken out</i>
<i>between Jews and Arabs.</i>

800
00:52:38,603 --> 00:52:40,982
<i>In Germany, I witnessed firsthand</i>

801
00:52:41,066 --> 00:52:44,155
<i>what happened to Jews when</i>
<i>they didn't have their own country.</i>

802
00:52:44,657 --> 00:52:47,538
<i>So I have completed my training</i>
<i>as a sniper for the Haganah,</i>

803
00:52:48,121 --> 00:52:49,959
<i>the Jewish underground army.</i>

804
00:52:52,421 --> 00:52:55,971
<i>At target practice, I hit the bulls‐eye</i>
<i>nearly every time.</i>

805
00:52:56,973 --> 00:53:00,897
<i>Last night, I stood on a rooftop armed</i>
<i>with a machine gun</i>

806
00:53:00,981 --> 00:53:04,530
<i>watching over the Israeli soldiers</i>
<i>who checked each car for weapons.</i>

807
00:53:06,199 --> 00:53:09,999
<i>My job as a sniper is to phone</i>
<i>if anything happens down there.</i>

808
00:53:10,332 --> 00:53:12,713
<i>And shoot if necessary.</i>

809
00:53:13,631 --> 00:53:16,428
<i>Thank God I have never had</i>
<i>to shoot anyone.</i>

810
00:53:20,019 --> 00:53:22,148
This makes me very sad.

811
00:53:22,231 --> 00:53:24,987
Who knows how many people
were killed with this?

812
00:53:26,489 --> 00:53:27,868
That's enough.

813
00:53:33,086 --> 00:53:37,804
[Dr. Ruth] <i>June 4th, 1948,</i>
<i>on my 20th birthday.</i>

814
00:53:40,184 --> 00:53:44,025
<i>I had come back from</i>
<i>my rooftop sniper duty</i>

815
00:53:44,860 --> 00:53:47,323
<i>and when I got to this building,</i>

816
00:53:47,866 --> 00:53:51,081
the alarm sounded
and I knew what it meant.

817
00:53:51,164 --> 00:53:53,293
It meant go down to the shelter.

818
00:53:53,377 --> 00:53:55,966
‐[alarm blaring]
‐[heavy breathing]

819
00:53:58,095 --> 00:53:59,347
[loud swoosh]

820
00:53:59,430 --> 00:54:01,059
[explosion]

821
00:54:01,602 --> 00:54:05,860
[Dr. Ruth] <i>A cannonball hit,</i>
<i>and it threw me</i>

822
00:54:06,152 --> 00:54:08,115
<i>against the wall,</i>

823
00:54:08,950 --> 00:54:11,706
<i>killed some girls next to me.</i>

824
00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:16,006
<i>It was a very horrible scene</i>

825
00:54:16,423 --> 00:54:20,389
<i>of shouting, of blood all over</i>

826
00:54:20,598 --> 00:54:21,976
<i>and then quiet.</i>

827
00:54:26,527 --> 00:54:29,700
<i>A friend of mine opened my shoes.</i>

828
00:54:31,787 --> 00:54:34,000
<i>And then I looked down and I saw</i>
<i>a lot of blood.</i>

829
00:54:35,545 --> 00:54:37,841
<i>I ask her, do I have to die?</i>

830
00:54:38,718 --> 00:54:42,016
<i>Then I was taken right away</i>
<i>to the hospital in the city.</i>

831
00:54:46,984 --> 00:54:51,326
My injuries on my little feet
were horrible.

832
00:54:51,493 --> 00:54:54,332
One foot was almost blown off.

833
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:58,716
The top of the foot was all torn.

834
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:02,056
<i>They almost had to amputate both legs.</i>

835
00:55:03,099 --> 00:55:07,233
<i>In the cellar were beds and beds</i>
<i>of wounded soldiers.</i>

836
00:55:07,859 --> 00:55:10,907
<i>There was not one spot for me.</i>

837
00:55:10,990 --> 00:55:14,957
So I was on a bookshelf
because I was so‐‐ so small.

838
00:55:17,461 --> 00:55:20,300
<i>I had a good‐looking</i>
<i>male nurse.</i>

839
00:55:21,595 --> 00:55:24,475
<i>And I made believe that</i>
<i>I couldn't feed myself.</i>

840
00:55:25,310 --> 00:55:28,441
Nonsense. My hands were
perfectly all right,

841
00:55:28,609 --> 00:55:31,489
but this way he fed me three times a day.

842
00:55:31,991 --> 00:55:35,790
<i>And he fixed me in such a way</i>
<i>that my whole life</i>

843
00:55:35,957 --> 00:55:37,209
<i>I could waterski,</i>

844
00:55:37,711 --> 00:55:39,463
<i>I could winter ski,</i>

845
00:55:40,132 --> 00:55:41,552
<i>I could ice skate,</i>

846
00:55:42,177 --> 00:55:46,019
<i>and I can still dance a whole night</i>
<i>if I find a good partner.</i>

847
00:55:48,566 --> 00:55:51,321
Ryan, I want you to show
that I can walk fast.

848
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:04,221
All right, so you write about
something else in the book

849
00:56:04,305 --> 00:56:06,184
and that's when you should say goodbye.

850
00:56:06,267 --> 00:56:10,610
So, Dr. Ruth, how do you know
whether you should stay or go?

851
00:56:10,693 --> 00:56:15,620
Jonathan, I think that deep down
in your soul,

852
00:56:15,870 --> 00:56:17,498
you kind of know.

853
00:56:17,582 --> 00:56:21,507
I suggest for people if they feel

854
00:56:21,674 --> 00:56:24,178
that they are not in a good relationship,

855
00:56:24,261 --> 00:56:25,640
go to therapy.

856
00:56:25,723 --> 00:56:28,061
Do something to make it work.

857
00:56:28,144 --> 00:56:29,313
If not,

858
00:56:29,397 --> 00:56:33,488
at least separate so that you can
start a new life.

859
00:56:33,572 --> 00:56:35,409
‐[Jonathan] Mm‐hmm.
‐Now I talk from experience.

860
00:56:35,952 --> 00:56:38,415
Here, I got married three times.

861
00:56:38,666 --> 00:56:42,882
But only my last marriage,
which lasted almost 40 years,

862
00:56:42,966 --> 00:56:46,180
with Fred Westheimer,
was really the marriage.

863
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,351
So I say to people,

864
00:56:48,435 --> 00:56:52,359
“I don't just talk on the top of my head,
I really have lived it.”

865
00:56:53,738 --> 00:56:57,286
<i>Husband number one</i>
<i>was David Bar‐haim.</i>

866
00:56:58,121 --> 00:57:02,087
<i>He was in the Israeli army.</i>
<i>He was handsome.</i>

867
00:57:02,171 --> 00:57:03,758
<i>He was intelligent.</i>

868
00:57:04,300 --> 00:57:06,137
<i>I thought "how fortunate,"</i>

869
00:57:06,220 --> 00:57:09,561
<i>because I thought nobody is ever</i>
<i>going to marry me,</i>

870
00:57:09,644 --> 00:57:12,149
<i>I'm short. I thought that I was ugly.</i>

871
00:57:13,359 --> 00:57:18,119
<i>He left to study medicine</i>
<i>at the University of Paris,</i>

872
00:57:19,330 --> 00:57:21,794
<i>and I went to Paris to join him.</i>

873
00:57:23,421 --> 00:57:25,008
The Sorbonne had a rule.

874
00:57:25,425 --> 00:57:27,931
Anybody who did not have
a high school diploma

875
00:57:28,014 --> 00:57:31,939
<i>because of the war could take</i>
<i>a preparation year.</i>

876
00:57:32,022 --> 00:57:35,947
<i>And if they pass the exams,</i>
<i>they could enter the Sorbonne.</i>

877
00:57:37,074 --> 00:57:41,040
<i>My father valued education</i>
<i>above everything else,</i>

878
00:57:41,332 --> 00:57:44,130
<i>so I wanted to pursue my studies.</i>

879
00:57:45,006 --> 00:57:46,760
<i>I got into the Sorbonne.</i>

880
00:57:47,469 --> 00:57:52,730
<i>I studied at the Institute</i>
<i>of Psychology and I loved it.</i>

881
00:57:53,356 --> 00:57:55,778
I remember the Salrecheuer

882
00:57:56,445 --> 00:58:00,955
<i>where I listened to the lectures</i>
<i>of big names like Piagi,</i>

883
00:58:01,497 --> 00:58:02,709
<i>Nagash.</i>

884
00:58:02,834 --> 00:58:04,461
<i>I was so short.</i>

885
00:58:04,546 --> 00:58:07,426
<i>The auditorium was filled.</i>

886
00:58:07,594 --> 00:58:11,810
<i>So I knew how to find a tall,</i>
<i>good‐looking guy</i>

887
00:58:12,269 --> 00:58:16,027
<i>to put me up on a window sill</i>
<i>right next to the professor.</i>

888
00:58:16,570 --> 00:58:18,239
<i>I heard very well.</i>

889
00:58:18,323 --> 00:58:20,912
<i>I took notes and I passed the exams.</i>

890
00:58:22,039 --> 00:58:23,416
<i>While I was studying,</i>

891
00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:27,926
<i>it was clear that David did not want to</i>
<i>continue study medicine.</i>

892
00:58:29,428 --> 00:58:33,102
<i>He wanted to go back to his</i>
<i>life in Israel.</i>

893
00:58:34,731 --> 00:58:37,904
<i>I thought that that marriage</i>
<i>would last for a lifetime.</i>

894
00:58:38,697 --> 00:58:40,910
<i>But I wanted to finish studying.</i>

895
00:58:41,703 --> 00:58:44,668
<i>So he agreed to give me a divorce.</i>

896
00:58:47,715 --> 00:58:50,680
<i>Then, in Paris, I met</i>

897
00:58:50,763 --> 00:58:52,432
<i>husband number two.</i>

898
00:58:52,517 --> 00:58:55,146
<i>His name was Dan.</i>
<i>He was gorgeous.</i>

899
00:58:55,815 --> 00:58:57,819
<i>We started a love affair.</i>

900
00:58:57,902 --> 00:59:01,075
And then I got married. No,

901
00:59:01,158 --> 00:59:02,745
<i>then I first got pregnant.</i>

902
00:59:03,288 --> 00:59:06,837
<i>I then married, because once you get</i>
<i>pregnant, you marry.</i>

903
00:59:09,216 --> 00:59:12,974
<i>When Miriam was born,</i>
<i>I was delighted.</i>

904
00:59:14,561 --> 00:59:17,650
<i>Having been raised with no family around,</i>

905
00:59:18,151 --> 00:59:20,990
<i>to have that little gorgeous baby girl</i>

906
00:59:21,490 --> 00:59:23,662
<i>was just happiness.</i>

907
00:59:26,626 --> 00:59:30,133
<i>All my life, I wanted very badly</i>

908
00:59:30,342 --> 00:59:35,268
<i>to go to the United States, but I thought</i>
<i>I will never have the money.</i>

909
00:59:36,605 --> 00:59:40,403
However, there was a check
that came automatically

910
00:59:40,696 --> 00:59:46,040
to everybody who had not finished school
because of the Holocaust.

911
00:59:46,666 --> 00:59:52,094
<i>And suddenly I had $1500.</i>
<i>So I said, "Dan,</i>

912
00:59:52,637 --> 00:59:57,396
<i>we are going to America."</i>
<i>We went on a boat called Liberte.</i>

913
00:59:58,022 --> 01:00:01,112
<i>Fourth class,</i>
<i>all the way in the bottom.</i>

914
01:00:02,322 --> 01:00:07,667
<i>They told us we cannot go upstairs,</i>
<i>we have to stay with our class.</i>

915
01:00:08,919 --> 01:00:14,263
<i>I thought, "Hold it! Don't tell me that</i>
<i>I can't go up to first class."</i>

916
01:00:15,516 --> 01:00:20,442
So we sneaked up against all rules

917
01:00:21,444 --> 01:00:24,534
and we stayed up there for the whole night

918
01:00:24,909 --> 01:00:30,588
because I wasn't about to miss that view
of the Statue of Liberty.

919
01:00:33,426 --> 01:00:36,140
<i>I knew the Emma Lazarus poem,</i>

920
01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:40,566
<i>"Give me your tired, your poor,</i>
<i>your huddled masses."</i>

921
01:00:41,735 --> 01:00:45,534
<i>And when I saw that miracle in the sky,</i>

922
01:00:46,035 --> 01:00:48,456
<i>a symbol of freedom to refugees,</i>

923
01:00:49,249 --> 01:00:52,548
<i>I knew that this was home.</i>

924
01:01:02,652 --> 01:01:04,363
<i>I wanted to show you.</i>

925
01:01:05,365 --> 01:01:07,703
I vote, of course,

926
01:01:08,079 --> 01:01:11,168
since I'm now an American citizen
I've always voted,

927
01:01:12,087 --> 01:01:15,468
but I don't talk‐‐
I don't talk politics.

928
01:01:16,262 --> 01:01:20,436
Somebody who talks about sex
as much as I do

929
01:01:21,272 --> 01:01:22,942
has to stay away from politics.

930
01:01:23,109 --> 01:01:24,529
However...

931
01:01:26,533 --> 01:01:29,371
here is a cartoon from a‐‐

932
01:01:29,998 --> 01:01:34,632
the most widely‐read newspaper in Israel.

933
01:01:35,509 --> 01:01:40,811
I'm saying to the president of North Korea
and to the president of the United States,

934
01:01:41,605 --> 01:01:44,527
"Relax, size does not matter."

935
01:01:46,740 --> 01:01:49,996
<i>From the start,</i>
<i>I never went on television</i>

936
01:01:50,121 --> 01:01:52,334
<i>to talk about politics.</i>

937
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:55,381
[reporter] Dr. Ruth, what do you think
about Donald Trump's sexual remarks?

938
01:01:55,465 --> 01:01:57,511
No, no comment.

939
01:01:57,678 --> 01:01:59,891
[Leora] <i>She will not discuss</i>
<i>politics in public.</i>

940
01:02:00,475 --> 01:02:04,692
She has her views, I don't think it's
very hard to figure out her views.

941
01:02:05,944 --> 01:02:10,203
<i>But she really does not</i>
<i>want to make any patient of hers,</i>

942
01:02:10,286 --> 01:02:14,294
<i>or fan of hers, feel like they can't trust</i>
<i>her because of her political views.</i>

943
01:02:15,589 --> 01:02:17,133
[Joel] <i>Of course it's just</i>
<i>a different understanding</i>

944
01:02:17,217 --> 01:02:19,555
of what politics means, right?

945
01:02:20,014 --> 01:02:23,270
A woman called,
she's terribly upset because

946
01:02:23,479 --> 01:02:26,360
she has had to
have an abortion.

947
01:02:26,820 --> 01:02:31,245
I certainly believe that abortion
must remain legal.

948
01:02:31,705 --> 01:02:33,499
<i>I don't do politics,</i>

949
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:35,879
<i>but I never compromised</i>

950
01:02:36,046 --> 01:02:39,887
<i>on many issues including abortion.</i>

951
01:02:40,054 --> 01:02:42,267
<i>Even when it was not popular.</i>

952
01:02:42,727 --> 01:02:46,943
I am convinced Roe will
fall by the end of this presidential term,

953
01:02:47,235 --> 01:02:50,199
and child killing will be driven back
to hell where it came from.

954
01:02:50,366 --> 01:02:53,205
I can't help wondering if those who
call themselves pro‐choice

955
01:02:53,915 --> 01:02:55,334
have ever stopped to think

956
01:02:56,295 --> 01:03:00,679
that the fetus, the unborn child,
never has a choice.

957
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:08,820
I'm very upset that the whole issue of
abortion has become a political football.

958
01:03:09,614 --> 01:03:15,249
I will be terribly upset if abortion
becomes illegal again because‐‐

959
01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:20,928
Before abortion was legalized, only women
with money could obtain an abortion.

960
01:03:21,303 --> 01:03:25,938
If we have to go back to those years,
it would be a terrible state of affair

961
01:03:26,564 --> 01:03:31,240
because abortions would get glitched
and coat‐hangers will be used again.

962
01:03:31,908 --> 01:03:36,333
I do believe that abortion
must be available.

963
01:03:36,416 --> 01:03:38,170
[applause]

964
01:03:39,381 --> 01:03:43,138
[John] <i>She so diligently avoids</i>
<i>politicizing anything.</i>

965
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:47,898
<i>She just said, "I'm not political,</i>
<i>I'm a sex therapist.</i>

966
01:03:48,567 --> 01:03:50,111
<i>That's where I stay."</i>

967
01:03:50,904 --> 01:03:52,533
Tell me what's happening.

968
01:03:53,910 --> 01:03:56,206
Well, ever since the abortion,
I just feel so,

969
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,670
I feel so depressed.

970
01:04:00,966 --> 01:04:03,345
I just feel like
I did the wrong thing now.

971
01:04:03,889 --> 01:04:06,018
[Dr. Ruth] You usually use contraceptive?

972
01:04:06,101 --> 01:04:07,771
‐[Laura] Oh, yeah.
‐[Dr. Ruth] So this,

973
01:04:08,272 --> 01:04:10,151
was a contraceptive failure.

974
01:04:10,234 --> 01:04:13,783
So don't blame yourself
for not being responsible, Laura.

975
01:04:14,952 --> 01:04:18,919
[Joel] <i>She's political in the sense that</i>
<i>she's had tremendous positive,</i>

976
01:04:19,587 --> 01:04:21,883
<i>political and social impact in the world.</i>

977
01:04:22,383 --> 01:04:25,682
<i>And she's able to reach people</i>
<i>on a very human level</i>

978
01:04:26,141 --> 01:04:29,732
<i>that transcends their</i>
<i>political or religious</i>

979
01:04:29,982 --> 01:04:34,199
<i>convictions about things</i>
<i>and just speaks to them as human beings.</i>

980
01:04:47,308 --> 01:04:50,899
[Dr. Ruth] <i>When Dan and I</i>
<i>first came to New York,</i>

981
01:04:51,651 --> 01:04:53,863
<i>we lived in an apartment here</i>

982
01:04:54,030 --> 01:04:59,667
on the third floor and in a one bedroom.

983
01:05:01,461 --> 01:05:03,090
<i>Soon after we settled,</i>

984
01:05:03,508 --> 01:05:08,350
<i>I realized that Dan</i>
<i>and I could not stay together.</i>

985
01:05:09,060 --> 01:05:10,354
<i>I was very bored</i>

986
01:05:10,939 --> 01:05:13,444
<i>because he was not an intellectual.</i>

987
01:05:14,446 --> 01:05:18,705
We had an old car,
I gave him the car and I kept the child.

988
01:05:19,582 --> 01:05:22,211
<i>So suddenly I was a single mother</i>

989
01:05:22,671 --> 01:05:26,344
<i>in a country and a language</i>
<i>that I didn't know.</i>

990
01:05:27,514 --> 01:05:30,269
<i>It was difficult raising Miriam by myself.</i>

991
01:05:31,564 --> 01:05:35,071
<i>I made $1 an hour working as a housemaid.</i>

992
01:05:35,614 --> 01:05:38,787
<i>But still I needed to learn English fast.</i>

993
01:05:39,162 --> 01:05:41,500
<i>So I read romance novels</i>

994
01:05:41,918 --> 01:05:45,550
<i>because I always wanted to read until</i>
<i>the end to know what happened to them.</i>

995
01:05:45,717 --> 01:05:46,886
[laughs]

996
01:05:47,428 --> 01:05:52,105
<i>In the 50s, I don't remember anybody else</i>
<i>around me having been a single mother.</i>

997
01:05:52,606 --> 01:05:56,113
<i>I was very poor, I really had no money,</i>

998
01:05:56,196 --> 01:05:59,703
<i>but that didn't keep me from having fun.</i>

999
01:05:59,870 --> 01:06:03,502
I had parties every single weekend.

1000
01:06:03,670 --> 01:06:06,299
<i>Everybody bought food.</i>

1001
01:06:06,551 --> 01:06:10,307
<i>The only thing I had to buy</i>
<i>was potato chips.</i>

1002
01:06:12,980 --> 01:06:17,488
[Miriam] <i>I do remember</i>
<i>being like the only child in</i>
<i>a room full of lots of grownups</i>

1003
01:06:18,282 --> 01:06:20,244
<i>dancing and talking</i>
<i>and having a great time.</i>

1004
01:06:20,704 --> 01:06:22,749
<i>'Cause she would take me</i>
<i>wherever she went.</i>

1005
01:06:24,210 --> 01:06:27,634
[Dr. Ruth] <i>And when she got tired,</i>
<i>I put her on the bed</i>

1006
01:06:28,385 --> 01:06:32,059
<i>and I put coats around her</i>
<i>so that she wouldn't fall</i>

1007
01:06:32,226 --> 01:06:34,480
<i>and she slept through the noise.</i>

1008
01:06:35,149 --> 01:06:39,992
I was kind of maybe a forerunner
of the single motherhood.

1009
01:06:45,754 --> 01:06:47,758
<i>Boy, this is serious.</i>

1010
01:06:49,302 --> 01:06:50,847
[Michal] I think I made a mistake.

1011
01:06:53,603 --> 01:06:58,613
[Dr. Ruth] I've never let your father
or your mother just win. Ever.

1012
01:07:00,199 --> 01:07:03,205
‐[Leora] Why not?
‐Because they have to learn to lose.

1013
01:07:04,541 --> 01:07:09,635
Jack and Queen. All right!
That's a good move.

1014
01:07:10,845 --> 01:07:12,056
‐Wait, wait, wait.
‐[man speaking indistinctly]

1015
01:07:12,265 --> 01:07:14,728
‐[Leora] Bye. [laughing]
‐Oh, God.

1016
01:07:18,736 --> 01:07:22,451
‐That's terrible. They ganged up on me.
‐All right, shake hands?

1017
01:07:22,661 --> 01:07:27,086
[Dr. Ruth] Shake hands.
Very smart grandchildren I have. Bravo.

1018
01:07:32,388 --> 01:07:33,599
<i>So look at this,</i>

1019
01:07:34,685 --> 01:07:39,110
here are my four grandchildren,
a picture of them, they all ski.

1020
01:07:39,945 --> 01:07:44,538
<i>I used to love to ski and I used to be</i>
<i>a very good skier. Black diamond.</i>

1021
01:07:45,247 --> 01:07:48,128
<i>In fact that's exactly how I met Fred.</i>

1022
01:07:49,422 --> 01:07:51,886
<i>One of my friends had a car,</i>

1023
01:07:52,094 --> 01:07:55,434
<i>so a group of us pooled our money together</i>

1024
01:07:55,935 --> 01:07:58,357
<i>and I left my little girl</i>
<i>with some friends</i>

1025
01:07:58,733 --> 01:08:01,488
<i>and I went skiing over the weekend.</i>

1026
01:08:06,414 --> 01:08:09,212
<i>I had a friend, his name was Hans,</i>

1027
01:08:10,255 --> 01:08:13,470
<i>and Hans and I went on a T‐bar</i>

1028
01:08:13,638 --> 01:08:16,017
<i>which pushes you up the mountain.</i>

1029
01:08:17,186 --> 01:08:21,821
<i>But he was so tall that when it was on</i>
<i>my behind, it was on his ankle,</i>

1030
01:08:22,279 --> 01:08:26,747
when it was on his behind, it was on
my neck, it was an impossibility.

1031
01:08:29,293 --> 01:08:31,339
<i>On the mountain, somebody introduced me</i>

1032
01:08:32,007 --> 01:08:36,224
<i>to Manfred Westheimer,</i>
<i>the head of the Jewish ski club,</i>

1033
01:08:36,307 --> 01:08:38,270
<i>staying in the same lodge.</i>

1034
01:08:39,105 --> 01:08:42,403
<i>So, I look at this little man</i>

1035
01:08:42,904 --> 01:08:47,204
<i>and I say to Hans, "I will go up</i>
<i>the mountain with that short one."</i>

1036
01:08:47,371 --> 01:08:49,793
Not as short as me,
nobody is as short as me.

1037
01:08:50,210 --> 01:08:53,926
And on the way up,
I learned that he was 35,

1038
01:08:54,051 --> 01:08:57,224
<i>he had never been married,</i>
<i>he was an engineer,</i>

1039
01:08:57,601 --> 01:09:03,028
<i>and I liked him right away</i>
<i>and I right there decided I'd marry that guy.</i>

1040
01:09:04,823 --> 01:09:09,917
<i>I had to share the room with another woman</i>
<i>who was with that group.</i>

1041
01:09:10,083 --> 01:09:13,048
As I got into the room
at two in the morning,

1042
01:09:13,256 --> 01:09:15,637
<i>because Fred and I spent</i>
<i>the whole evening talking,</i>

1043
01:09:16,304 --> 01:09:19,520
<i>she said "Keep your hands off that guy,</i>

1044
01:09:19,895 --> 01:09:21,189
<i>he's mine."</i>

1045
01:09:22,776 --> 01:09:25,740
I smiled and I said to myself,
"Let's see."

1046
01:09:26,241 --> 01:09:28,538
<i>Guess what? I married him.</i>

1047
01:09:31,710 --> 01:09:32,796
[phone clicks]

1048
01:09:32,879 --> 01:09:34,382
Hello? You are on the air.

1049
01:09:36,803 --> 01:09:38,015
Hello, hi there, George.

1050
01:09:41,788 --> 01:09:43,122
Yeah, is she divorced?

1051
01:09:43,939 --> 01:09:44,313
OK.

1052
01:09:46,419 --> 01:09:47,272
Yes.

1053
01:09:50,841 --> 01:09:51,998
Mm‐hmm.

1054
01:09:59,387 --> 01:10:02,939
Yeah, George? Just because someone
has had two bad relationships

1055
01:10:03,023 --> 01:10:07,072
does not mean a third one
can't be fantastic.

1056
01:10:08,408 --> 01:10:13,043
So, to predict horrible things to happen

1057
01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:15,297
is not going to be of help.

1058
01:10:16,424 --> 01:10:18,428
And I heard you say, George,

1059
01:10:18,804 --> 01:10:21,017
I heard you say
that you love her very much.

1060
01:10:22,689 --> 01:10:25,526
Then I would not worry about her past.

1061
01:10:26,444 --> 01:10:31,496
Take a sponge and wipe it off. All right?

1062
01:10:31,664 --> 01:10:33,542
[Diane] This is the third marriage
for you, right? So you...

1063
01:10:33,626 --> 01:10:36,339
‐Yes, but I'm married with him now.
‐...didn't get it right the first time‐‐

1064
01:10:36,632 --> 01:10:39,513
[Dr. Ruth] That's true.
But I'm married now for 23 years‐

1065
01:10:39,680 --> 01:10:41,432
‐Almost 24.
‐That's a long time.

1066
01:10:41,517 --> 01:10:44,146
‐[Diane] You think it's gonna last?
‐I think so.

1067
01:10:50,827 --> 01:10:54,751
[Dr. Ruth] <i>My first two marriages</i>
<i>were legalized love affairs.</i>

1068
01:10:55,712 --> 01:10:58,968
<i>But with Freddie, it was true love.</i>

1069
01:11:00,847 --> 01:11:04,563
<i>He adopted and adored</i>
<i>my daughter Miriam.</i>

1070
01:11:07,443 --> 01:11:10,575
<i>And then together, we had our son Joel.</i>

1071
01:11:14,624 --> 01:11:20,052
<i>We needed a bigger apartment</i>
<i>so that's when we moved to the place</i>

1072
01:11:20,302 --> 01:11:23,058
<i>where I've lived for</i>
<i>all of these years.</i>

1073
01:11:30,030 --> 01:11:34,998
<i>Even after I became Dr. Ruth,</i>
<i>I'm very glad I stayed.</i>

1074
01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:37,503
<i>Because this is my home.</i>

1075
01:11:41,177 --> 01:11:42,764
[doorbell rings]

1076
01:11:44,475 --> 01:11:46,522
[Dr. Ruth]
Excuse me one moment.

1077
01:11:48,651 --> 01:11:50,237
[surprised laughter]

1078
01:11:50,362 --> 01:11:53,076
‐Did someone order a pizza?
‐Well, we have pizza.

1079
01:11:54,203 --> 01:11:56,917
‐My Joel!
‐I'm pretty sure you needed a pizza.

1080
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,923
My Joel, my Joel. My Joel is here.

1081
01:12:00,423 --> 01:12:02,219
You can all go home.

1082
01:12:02,386 --> 01:12:03,722
[Joel laughs]

1083
01:12:04,056 --> 01:12:07,062
[Dr. Ruth] I want to show you something.
I found an album.

1084
01:12:07,939 --> 01:12:12,489
All right, don't remember who that was.
Must be a lover

1085
01:12:13,491 --> 01:12:15,830
‐that I don't remember.
‐[Joel laughing]

1086
01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,376
That's my Joel!

1087
01:12:18,919 --> 01:12:21,508
You were the cutest baby in the world.

1088
01:12:21,675 --> 01:12:24,890
And now when are you going
to get rid of that thing?

1089
01:12:25,056 --> 01:12:27,186
‐The earring?
‐ A hundred years ago,

1090
01:12:27,269 --> 01:12:31,402
Joel appeared at Oscawana
and I see an earring.

1091
01:12:31,987 --> 01:12:33,991
Two and a half hours
I didn't talk to him.

1092
01:12:34,158 --> 01:12:35,661
I think it was two days.

1093
01:12:37,916 --> 01:12:40,045
So now you all leave
and I'm going to be very sad.

1094
01:12:40,128 --> 01:12:42,299
I was very sad
when you four left.

1095
01:12:42,382 --> 01:12:45,222
[Joel] I know. It was so nice
we all stayed here.

1096
01:12:45,305 --> 01:12:47,560
‐Yeah, but the apartment was so empty.
‐[Joel] Yeah.

1097
01:12:47,727 --> 01:12:51,526
I'm not a grandmother sitting in
a rocking chair

1098
01:12:51,735 --> 01:12:53,948
waiting for grandchildren to visit,

1099
01:12:54,574 --> 01:13:00,544
but I don't like when I have all of you
and have you and suddenly I'm all alone.

1100
01:13:00,753 --> 01:13:02,799
No, she does not like being alone.

1101
01:13:02,882 --> 01:13:04,928
‐No, I'm not going to sit here alone.
‐You've learned that, right?

1102
01:13:05,888 --> 01:13:08,226
[Joel] <i>What I remember growing up is</i>
<i>she was always always</i>

1103
01:13:08,309 --> 01:13:09,980
<i>a whirlwind of activity.</i>

1104
01:13:10,313 --> 01:13:14,363
<i>You would wake up on a Saturday morning</i>
<i>and there would be, like, some plan.</i>

1105
01:13:14,531 --> 01:13:16,284
‐Right.
‐I mean, we were going skiing

1106
01:13:16,367 --> 01:13:18,622
or we were going here
or we were doing this.

1107
01:13:18,831 --> 01:13:20,793
<i>There was always a kind of energy.</i>

1108
01:13:20,876 --> 01:13:26,596
But at the same time, she was always
keeping her career front and center.

1109
01:13:26,888 --> 01:13:30,228
Oh, yeah. Stay‐at‐home mom
would probably be about

1110
01:13:30,312 --> 01:13:33,777
the most opposite description of our
mother that you could possibly imagine.

1111
01:13:36,533 --> 01:13:39,789
[Dr. Ruth] <i>I really believed that</i>
<i>I would not have been a good mother</i>

1112
01:13:39,873 --> 01:13:43,087
<i>if I did not also have some</i>

1113
01:13:43,171 --> 01:13:46,052
<i>academic interests and a job.</i>

1114
01:13:46,595 --> 01:13:50,101
<i>I got a position at Planned Parenthood</i>
<i>of New York City,</i>

1115
01:13:50,435 --> 01:13:54,068
<i>which, in those years,</i>
<i>was not as known as now.</i>

1116
01:13:54,903 --> 01:14:00,080
<i>I worked in East Harlem. Harlem at</i>
<i>the time was at the height of the unrest.</i>

1117
01:14:00,581 --> 01:14:04,421
[Joel] <i>She would travel everyday</i>
<i>asking people for rides</i>,

1118
01:14:04,506 --> 01:14:05,591
<i>taking public transportation.</i>

1119
01:14:06,510 --> 01:14:10,225
<i>I remember her being gone a lot</i>
<i>of evenings and my dad,</i>

1120
01:14:10,392 --> 01:14:15,402
<i>who to me always was the kind of stable</i>
<i>even keeled engineer,</i>

1121
01:14:15,861 --> 01:14:18,074
<i>would make dinner and things like that.</i>

1122
01:14:18,534 --> 01:14:20,286
[Dr. Ruth] <i>I trained paraprofessionals,</i>

1123
01:14:20,704 --> 01:14:22,875
<i>people who didn't have</i>
<i>a high school diploma</i>

1124
01:14:23,042 --> 01:14:26,925
<i>to be family planning counselors.</i>
<i>And I loved it.</i>

1125
01:14:27,885 --> 01:14:33,062
<i>That peaked my interest</i>
<i>in the issue of family planning.</i>

1126
01:14:34,816 --> 01:14:38,364
[Miriam] <i>At home, she didn't talk</i>
<i>to us so much about sexuality.</i>

1127
01:14:38,824 --> 01:14:42,289
<i>She always had a kit of birth control</i>
<i>from Planned Parenthood.</i>

1128
01:14:42,540 --> 01:14:47,007
<i>So in my little all‐girls school,</i>
<i>when it came time for sex education,</i>

1129
01:14:47,090 --> 01:14:50,305
<i>I would be the one to bring in this kit</i>
<i>and say,</i>

1130
01:14:50,388 --> 01:14:53,102
<i>"This is an IUD.</i>
<i>This is a condom."</i>

1131
01:14:53,186 --> 01:14:56,568
<i>I think I just picked it up</i>
<i>by you know, being around.</i>

1132
01:14:57,402 --> 01:15:00,701
[Joel] <i>I don't remember her</i>
<i>having some big talk with me.</i>

1133
01:15:01,285 --> 01:15:05,418
<i>She quite deliberately left a lot of books</i>
<i>with information around,</i>

1134
01:15:05,502 --> 01:15:07,130
<i>and I picked up those books.</i>

1135
01:15:08,967 --> 01:15:11,055
[Dr. Ruth] <i>Ever since I was young,</i>

1136
01:15:11,138 --> 01:15:15,396
<i>the most important thing</i>
<i>for me was education.</i>

1137
01:15:15,480 --> 01:15:17,025
<i>So, in 1967,</i>

1138
01:15:17,108 --> 01:15:21,701
<i>I started my doctorate</i>
<i>at Teachers College, Columbia University.</i>

1139
01:15:23,162 --> 01:15:27,504
<i>Through that work at Planned Parenthood,</i>
<i>I used the data</i>

1140
01:15:27,588 --> 01:15:30,009
<i>of following 2,000 women</i>

1141
01:15:30,385 --> 01:15:34,936
<i>and their contraceptive and abortive</i>
<i>history when abortion was illegal</i>

1142
01:15:35,353 --> 01:15:37,315
<i>for my doctorate dissertation.</i>

1143
01:15:38,694 --> 01:15:42,994
<i>And I was 42 years of age</i>
<i>when I got my doctorate.</i>

1144
01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:48,964
<i>While I was in Harlem,</i>
<i>at Planned Parenthood,</i>

1145
01:15:49,214 --> 01:15:51,260
<i>people asked me questions.</i>

1146
01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:53,890
<i>Questions about premature ejaculation.</i>

1147
01:15:54,474 --> 01:15:56,312
<i>Inability to have an orgasm.</i>

1148
01:15:57,230 --> 01:16:00,278
<i>In that entire area of sexuality</i>

1149
01:16:00,361 --> 01:16:02,742
<i>that I could not answer.</i>

1150
01:16:03,869 --> 01:16:06,498
<i>I realized I didn't know enough.</i>

1151
01:16:06,916 --> 01:16:09,254
<i>I needed further training.</i>

1152
01:16:11,050 --> 01:16:15,809
<i>At Cornell University</i>
<i>was a sex therapist, famous,</i>

1153
01:16:15,893 --> 01:16:17,813
<i>Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan.</i>

1154
01:16:18,272 --> 01:16:21,988
<i>She was the first one</i>
<i>to devise a methodology</i>

1155
01:16:22,322 --> 01:16:24,994
<i>to treat sexual dysfunction.</i>

1156
01:16:25,286 --> 01:16:29,587
Sexual therapy is a very complex branch
of psychiatry, really.

1157
01:16:29,921 --> 01:16:32,802
But the basic principal in a woman
who can't have orgasm

1158
01:16:32,885 --> 01:16:36,308
is to first teach her
to have an orgasm by herself.

1159
01:16:36,601 --> 01:16:40,024
[Dr. Ruth] <i>I got accepted into</i>
<i>Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan's program</i>

1160
01:16:40,108 --> 01:16:42,487
<i>to train as a sex therapist.</i>

1161
01:16:42,863 --> 01:16:45,994
And I thought, "I'm in heaven."

1162
01:16:49,334 --> 01:16:50,713
<i>In the Jewish tradition,</i>

1163
01:16:51,130 --> 01:16:54,637
<i>the word "to know" in Hebrew,</i>
<i>it's</i> ladat,

1164
01:16:54,721 --> 01:16:56,306
<i>"to know" somebody.</i>

1165
01:16:57,350 --> 01:17:01,191
<i>It also means "sex,"</i>
<i>which is wonderful,</i>

1166
01:17:01,776 --> 01:17:05,241
<i>because the word "sex"</i>
<i>means "to know" each other.</i>

1167
01:17:05,701 --> 01:17:10,418
<i>It means to take the time to listen</i>
<i>and to talk to each other.</i>

1168
01:17:11,755 --> 01:17:15,470
<i>By not having parents from the age of 10,</i>

1169
01:17:15,888 --> 01:17:19,854
<i>I was very much aware of the importance</i>

1170
01:17:19,937 --> 01:17:23,360
<i>of being touched, of being loved.</i>

1171
01:17:24,822 --> 01:17:29,498
<i>So that's one of the reasons</i>
<i>that I became so interested</i>

1172
01:17:29,582 --> 01:17:33,422
<i>in the issues of the family</i>
<i>and of relationships</i>

1173
01:17:33,590 --> 01:17:36,303
<i>and, eventually, of sexuality.</i>

1174
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:42,733
<i>Working with Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan,</i>
<i>I was learning on the job.</i>

1175
01:17:43,902 --> 01:17:47,535
<i>We sat in a room with a one‐way mirror</i>

1176
01:17:47,952 --> 01:17:49,496
<i>and did sex therapy.</i>

1177
01:17:52,126 --> 01:17:55,216
<i>And I worked with her at</i>
<i>Cornell for seven years.</i>

1178
01:17:57,428 --> 01:18:02,230
<i>It was an absolute dream,</i>
<i>working in the helping profession.</i>

1179
01:18:03,232 --> 01:18:08,702
<i>I had finished my studies, and was running</i>
<i>my own private practice</i>

1180
01:18:08,785 --> 01:18:12,333
<i>doing psychosexual</i>
<i>and relationship therapy.</i>

1181
01:18:12,710 --> 01:18:14,839
<i>Until 1981...</i>

1182
01:18:14,922 --> 01:18:16,718
[Dr. Ruth] All right!

1183
01:18:16,801 --> 01:18:18,470
Hi! How are you?

1184
01:18:18,555 --> 01:18:21,519
[Dr. Ruth] ...<i>That was the year</i>
<i>that everything changed for me.</i>

1185
01:18:21,603 --> 01:18:24,316
‐You look wonderful, you haven't changed.
‐You look wonderful. This is Betty Elam.

1186
01:18:24,525 --> 01:18:26,946
Without her, I wouldn't be Dr. Ruth.

1187
01:18:28,240 --> 01:18:31,956
[Dr. Ruth] <i>I was still on the staff of</i>
<i>Cornell Medical Center</i>

1188
01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:33,668
<i>with Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan,</i>

1189
01:18:33,835 --> 01:18:38,845
<i>a letter came to the program,</i>
<i>would one of us come and talk</i>

1190
01:18:39,054 --> 01:18:42,477
about the need for sexuality education.

1191
01:18:42,978 --> 01:18:47,278
Nobody wanted to go because
there was no money attached.

1192
01:18:47,613 --> 01:18:48,740
‐No money.
‐Right.

1193
01:18:48,823 --> 01:18:51,621
‐I saw the letter I said, "I'll go."
‐Yes.

1194
01:18:51,704 --> 01:18:53,625
‐"I'll fly a balloon."
‐Right.

1195
01:18:55,252 --> 01:18:57,423
[radio introduction]
<i>Ninety seven</i>

1196
01:18:58,092 --> 01:19:00,973
<i>W, Y, N, Y.</i>

1197
01:19:01,056 --> 01:19:03,185
[man] <i>Let's check the Y, N, Y</i>
<i>weekend weather.</i>

1198
01:19:03,310 --> 01:19:06,108
[Maurice] <i>I remember Betty came</i>
<i>running back to the radio station,</i>

1199
01:19:06,233 --> 01:19:08,195
<i>and she said to our general manager,</i>

1200
01:19:08,362 --> 01:19:10,534
<i>"You're not going to believe</i>
<i>this woman I met today,</i>

1201
01:19:10,617 --> 01:19:12,495
<i>she's this tall,</i>

1202
01:19:12,579 --> 01:19:14,499
<i>she has a deep German accent</i>

1203
01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:18,257
<i>and she talks about sex in a way that</i>
<i>I've never heard anyone talk before.</i>

1204
01:19:18,758 --> 01:19:20,971
<i>And I think we should</i>
<i>do something with her."</i>

1205
01:19:21,764 --> 01:19:25,647
<i>Frankly, this wasn't the top of our</i>
<i>priority, we were a music station.</i>

1206
01:19:25,814 --> 01:19:30,364
<i>But at the time, radio stations were</i>
<i>required with their FCC license</i>

1207
01:19:30,532 --> 01:19:35,416
<i>to spend a certain amount of hours every</i>
<i>week addressing community issues.</i>

1208
01:19:35,876 --> 01:19:38,840
<i>And most radio stations</i>
<i>would assign programming</i>

1209
01:19:38,965 --> 01:19:40,886
<i>when not a lot of people were listening.</i>

1210
01:19:41,637 --> 01:19:44,935
[Betty] <i>A program like this had</i>
<i>never been done before.</i>

1211
01:19:45,144 --> 01:19:47,983
So I got a lot of pushback
on that, but that's OK.

1212
01:19:48,442 --> 01:19:53,077
<i>If you're a woman in business,</i>
<i>you're used to pushback.</i>

1213
01:19:53,536 --> 01:19:58,420
<i>And Ruth can be very very charming,</i>
<i>plus she had the educational background.</i>

1214
01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:04,683
<i>So together we were able to get them to</i>
<i>give</i> Sexually Speaking <i>a chance.</i>

1215
01:20:06,269 --> 01:20:08,107
[woman speaking indistinctly]

1216
01:20:08,232 --> 01:20:10,904
[Maurice] <i>The show was being</i>
<i>done at 30 Rock.</i>

1217
01:20:11,572 --> 01:20:13,868
<i>She had never done a radio show before.</i>

1218
01:20:13,952 --> 01:20:16,039
<i>So the lawyers were</i>
<i>very nervous about that,</i>

1219
01:20:16,123 --> 01:20:18,837
<i>were very nervous</i>
<i>about giving advice to people.</i>

1220
01:20:19,379 --> 01:20:22,051
<i>And so we would record the show</i>
<i>so that they could</i>

1221
01:20:22,135 --> 01:20:24,849
<i>edit out anything</i>
<i>they were uncomfortable with.</i>

1222
01:20:25,725 --> 01:20:28,272
Good evening.
I'm Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

1223
01:20:28,857 --> 01:20:31,654
Our program is
called <i>Sexually Speaking.</i>

1224
01:20:32,405 --> 01:20:34,492
Hi, you still there? OK, you're up next.

1225
01:20:34,577 --> 01:20:38,793
<i>We would go up to our studio</i>
<i>they would have about 12 phone lines</i>

1226
01:20:39,545 --> 01:20:42,008
<i>and I would answer, "Hello.</i>
Sexually Speaking.

1227
01:20:42,091 --> 01:20:43,302
<i>Do you have a question?"</i>

1228
01:20:43,845 --> 01:20:46,474
And she wanted the element of surprise.

1229
01:20:46,893 --> 01:20:49,899
<i>The first time she heard the question</i>
<i>was when she hit that button.</i>

1230
01:20:50,107 --> 01:20:52,654
<i>‐Sexually Speaking.</i> You're on the air.
‐[John] <i>Hello, Dr. Ruth?</i>

1231
01:20:52,738 --> 01:20:54,825
‐Yes.
<i>‐My name is John, I'm from Georgia,</i>

1232
01:20:55,075 --> 01:20:57,789
<i>‐and I have kind of a problem.</i>
‐Let me hear.

1233
01:20:57,956 --> 01:21:00,294
[Maurice] <i>We recorded the show</i>
<i>on Thursdays,</i>

1234
01:21:00,377 --> 01:21:03,091
<i>we aired it on midnight on Sunday nights</i>

1235
01:21:03,175 --> 01:21:05,722
<i>because it was kind of buried there.</i>

1236
01:21:07,099 --> 01:21:09,605
<i>You know, who's up at midnight</i>
<i>on a Sunday night?</i>

1237
01:21:11,024 --> 01:21:15,115
<i>So this really was a dead time</i>
<i>and a perfect time to put on a show</i>

1238
01:21:15,282 --> 01:21:16,994
<i>that you're a little nervous about.</i>

1239
01:21:17,495 --> 01:21:23,215
I know of one gentleman who can
only have an erection

1240
01:21:23,675 --> 01:21:28,392
when his partner wears shoes
with a high heel.

1241
01:21:30,229 --> 01:21:35,907
[Maurice] <i>Back at NBC in those days,</i>
<i>you could sit in any studio and call up on</i>

1242
01:21:35,991 --> 01:21:40,124
<i>a speaker any other studio in the building</i>
<i>and listen to what they're doing there.</i>

1243
01:21:41,001 --> 01:21:42,796
<i>Now we weren't doing any promotion,</i>

1244
01:21:43,005 --> 01:21:45,134
<i>but, apparently, word of mouth</i>
<i>had been spreading,</i>

1245
01:21:45,760 --> 01:21:50,854
<i>and we suddenly learned that 11 o'clock on</i>
<i>Thursdays at 30 Rock...</i>

1246
01:21:51,104 --> 01:21:53,568
[Dr. Ruth] Hello. You are on the air.

1247
01:21:53,943 --> 01:21:55,697
[Maurice] <i>Everything was stopping at NBC</i>

1248
01:21:55,905 --> 01:22:00,414
<i>as people were listening in to</i>
<i>Ruth recording her show for WYNY.</i>

1249
01:22:00,497 --> 01:22:02,251
‐[Jeff] <i>Hello, Dr. Ruth.</i>
‐[Dr. Ruth] <i>Yes?</i>

1250
01:22:02,460 --> 01:22:05,842
[Jeff] <i>I heard this rumor a while back</i>
<i>that a girl only has so many orgasms</i>

1251
01:22:05,925 --> 01:22:09,182
<i>‐in her lifetime.</i>
‐[Dr. Ruth] <i>God forbid!</i> [laughing]

1252
01:22:09,265 --> 01:22:14,275
<i>That's a new rumor that I have</i>
<i>never heard, listen very carefully, Jeff!</i>

1253
01:22:14,442 --> 01:22:17,574
[Maurice] <i>It was a different time, in</i>
<i>the moral judgements in America back then.</i>

1254
01:22:18,283 --> 01:22:21,540
<i>There was nobody you could talk to</i>
<i>about those kinds of things.</i>

1255
01:22:21,624 --> 01:22:25,047
<i>And suddenly, there was this woman on</i>
<i>the radio giving a straight answer.</i>

1256
01:22:25,255 --> 01:22:26,801
‐You have to‐‐
‐[woman] <i>If he found out I was pregnant,</i>

1257
01:22:26,884 --> 01:22:30,307
<i>‐I don't know what would happen.</i>
‐OK, but you have to talk to somebody.

1258
01:22:30,892 --> 01:22:34,817
When people started to call in,
they couldn't say Westheimer.

1259
01:22:34,900 --> 01:22:37,697
It's a long name and it's not American.

1260
01:22:38,073 --> 01:22:40,662
They called and said "Dr. Ruth."

1261
01:22:40,745 --> 01:22:42,874
I said OK. Dr. Ruth.

1262
01:22:43,041 --> 01:22:46,339
Now all of your other famous people,
on radio and television‐‐

1263
01:22:46,464 --> 01:22:47,425
[man] <i>They're all one names.</i>

1264
01:22:47,509 --> 01:22:49,387
[Dr. Ruth] <i>Everybody goes</i>
<i>with the first name.</i>

1265
01:22:51,433 --> 01:22:54,565
But I tell you,
I was number one of that.

1266
01:22:54,773 --> 01:22:56,652
I'll get back to your calls
in just a moment.

1267
01:22:57,612 --> 01:22:59,783
[Betty] <i>Everybody at the station</i>
<i>was excited.</i>

1268
01:23:00,535 --> 01:23:04,375
And then it gave me the argument,
now can I do it live?

1269
01:23:05,085 --> 01:23:06,337
<i>And they said yes.</i>

1270
01:23:09,093 --> 01:23:13,143
[Maurice] <i>We went from 15 minutes</i>
<i>to an hour and then to two hours.</i>

1271
01:23:15,189 --> 01:23:19,113
[Dr. Ruth] <i>On Sunday nights,</i>
<i>people returning from the Hamptons</i>

1272
01:23:19,280 --> 01:23:21,367
<i>went into their car at 10 o'clock.</i>

1273
01:23:21,702 --> 01:23:24,625
[male caller] <i>I was laying on my bed,</i>
<i>and I was reading a</i> Playgirl

1274
01:23:24,708 --> 01:23:27,672
<i>and all I had on was my roommate's</i>
<i>girlfriend's underwear,</i>

1275
01:23:28,423 --> 01:23:32,682
<i>I was masturbating</i>
<i>and in walks my roommate.</i>

1276
01:23:35,980 --> 01:23:40,489
[female caller] <i>I have a vibrator,</i>
<i>and it's gotten to the point</i>

1277
01:23:40,573 --> 01:23:42,869
<i>where I'd rather use it</i>
<i>than date men.</i>

1278
01:23:43,538 --> 01:23:44,497
[Dr. Ruth] <i>Yes.</i>

1279
01:23:44,665 --> 01:23:47,587
[male caller] <i>My penis is extremely large,</i>

1280
01:23:48,463 --> 01:23:50,384
<i>‐about 14 inches...</i>
‐[Dr. Ruth] Mm‐hmm.

1281
01:23:50,467 --> 01:23:52,304
<i>and most girls that I go out with</i>

1282
01:23:52,388 --> 01:23:55,687
<i>seem to be intimidated</i>
<i>by the size of my penis.</i>

1283
01:23:58,985 --> 01:24:01,447
[Dr. Ruth] <i>By 12 o'clock they were</i>
<i>home to New York.</i>

1284
01:24:02,867 --> 01:24:06,416
I said that means that you
were nicely sexually aroused

1285
01:24:06,584 --> 01:24:07,836
by the time you came home.

1286
01:24:14,307 --> 01:24:18,398
[Maurice] <i>Frankly, we didn't think</i>
<i>it would explode like it did.</i>

1287
01:24:18,941 --> 01:24:21,154
<i>This was, "Oh this is a cool idea."</i>

1288
01:24:21,487 --> 01:24:25,078
<i>But I don't think any of us thought</i>
<i>that this was gonna make the difference</i>

1289
01:24:25,162 --> 01:24:27,458
<i>in the success or failure</i>
<i>of the radio station.</i>

1290
01:24:28,084 --> 01:24:31,550
<i>As it turned out,</i>
<i>it became what we were known for.</i>

1291
01:24:31,634 --> 01:24:33,846
<i>We were the station with Dr. Ruth.</i>

1292
01:24:34,138 --> 01:24:36,476
<i>Within a year, there were more people</i>

1293
01:24:36,852 --> 01:24:39,816
<i>listening to Ruth on Sunday night</i>

1294
01:24:40,025 --> 01:24:44,534
<i>than most of the morning drive radio</i>
<i>stations in New York City. Unheard of.</i>

1295
01:24:49,961 --> 01:24:53,511
[Joel] <i>She didn't get really widely</i>
<i>known until I was off to college.</i>

1296
01:24:53,594 --> 01:24:58,019
<i>My freshman year, I remember it was Sunday</i>
<i>night and I came back to the dorm…</i>

1297
01:24:58,269 --> 01:25:03,363
[Dr. Ruth] <i>There are plenty of women who</i>
<i>like to read</i> Playboy <i>magazine for fun!</i>

1298
01:25:03,531 --> 01:25:07,664
[Joel] <i>And I heard my mother's voice</i>
<i>from, you know, 8 different radios</i>

1299
01:25:07,831 --> 01:25:12,005
scattered around the dorm and I was just
completely surprised I'm like "Mom?"

1300
01:25:17,391 --> 01:25:20,439
[Pierre] <i>Suddenly she's getting</i>
<i>tons of media attention,</i>

1301
01:25:20,648 --> 01:25:23,946
<i>out of the</i> New York Times <i>story</i>
<i>came a book deal.</i>

1302
01:25:24,155 --> 01:25:26,451
<i>And she started traveling</i>
<i>and giving lectures.</i>

1303
01:25:26,618 --> 01:25:29,750
<i>Then came the late night talk shows.</i>
<i>Letterman wanted her,</i>

1304
01:25:29,916 --> 01:25:31,920
<i>Arsenio wanted her, Carson wanted her.</i>

1305
01:25:32,004 --> 01:25:35,970
There are myths that everybody has heard
and they will laugh, you will go blind…

1306
01:25:36,220 --> 01:25:38,475
Or hair in the palm of your hand.

1307
01:25:38,559 --> 01:25:40,563
‐Yep, all those things.
‐You lose your hair.

1308
01:25:40,688 --> 01:25:42,567
‐All of that.
‐[audience laughing]

1309
01:25:47,117 --> 01:25:49,121
[Pierre] <i>Everybody wanted her.</i>

1310
01:25:49,956 --> 01:25:54,131
<i>She was doing all kinds of TV appearances,</i>
Quantum Leap,

1311
01:25:54,298 --> 01:25:57,931
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,
Hollywood Squares.

1312
01:25:58,014 --> 01:25:59,810
<i>Then she started booking commercials,</i>

1313
01:25:59,976 --> 01:26:02,314
<i>she did one with Pepsi, with Bo Jackson,</i>

1314
01:26:02,397 --> 01:26:06,447
<i>and then the Herbal Essence commercial</i>
<i>which got a lot of attention.</i>

1315
01:26:06,615 --> 01:26:09,871
If you think that's great,
try the body wash!

1316
01:26:11,123 --> 01:26:13,211
[Pierre] <i>She began an acting career.</i>

1317
01:26:13,921 --> 01:26:15,925
That's a kiss?

1318
01:26:16,342 --> 01:26:18,054
[audience laughing]

1319
01:26:18,889 --> 01:26:21,895
[Pierre] <i>She had a sitcom,</i>
Dr. Ruth's House.

1320
01:26:22,104 --> 01:26:25,653
<i>She was in a major movie with</i>
<i>Gerard Depardieu and Sigourney Weaver.</i>

1321
01:26:25,778 --> 01:26:26,989
[both speaking in French]

1322
01:26:27,155 --> 01:26:28,868
<i>She even had her own board game.</i>

1323
01:26:33,919 --> 01:26:37,175
[Maurice] <i>She went from just an</i>
<i>everyday person here in New York</i>

1324
01:26:37,259 --> 01:26:39,138
<i>who goes to work everyday on the subway</i>

1325
01:26:39,346 --> 01:26:42,520
<i>to someone who suddenly</i>
<i>could be driven around,</i>

1326
01:26:42,604 --> 01:26:44,481
<i>could be paid for their appearances.</i>

1327
01:26:44,858 --> 01:26:46,945
[Pierre] <i>And then of course she got</i>
<i>her own television shows.</i>

1328
01:26:55,128 --> 01:26:58,802
<i>After that, she couldn't walk 10 feet</i>
<i>without someone wanting to pull her aside</i>

1329
01:26:58,886 --> 01:27:00,138
<i>and asking her a question.</i>

1330
01:27:00,221 --> 01:27:02,727
I enjoy it, I always watch you on
TV and everything.

1331
01:27:03,061 --> 01:27:04,271
[Pierre] <i>It just exploded.</i>

1332
01:27:04,396 --> 01:27:07,319
[Susan] <i>And she would say we're not</i>
<i>going to let this business change us.</i>

1333
01:27:07,528 --> 01:27:09,406
Because one day it could go
and her line was,

1334
01:27:09,490 --> 01:27:11,035
"Poof poof, it could go right out."

1335
01:27:11,912 --> 01:27:14,626
<i>And she's the same person today.</i>

1336
01:27:19,761 --> 01:27:23,936
Dr. Ruth. Ruth, do you follow your own
sexual advice with your husband at home?

1337
01:27:24,353 --> 01:27:28,529
Never do I permit him to come
on any program with me,

1338
01:27:28,904 --> 01:27:33,831
because he would tell you and Phil,
"Do not listen to her, it's all talk!"

1339
01:27:33,914 --> 01:27:36,043
‐So, that's number one.
‐[audience laughing]

1340
01:27:39,676 --> 01:27:42,097
[Diane] Is it true that you say
that it's all just talk?

1341
01:27:44,059 --> 01:27:46,105
‐It's a good line.
‐[Diane laughs]

1342
01:27:46,188 --> 01:27:50,990
[Diane] You never wince that there
are Dr. Ruth jokes around?

1343
01:27:51,115 --> 01:27:55,457
And Dr. Ruth imitations
on Johnny Carson shows?

1344
01:27:55,541 --> 01:27:59,841
Well, imitation is the most
sincere form of flattery, as someone said.

1345
01:28:00,341 --> 01:28:06,187
No, I don't wince. She is very
enterprising and straightforward

1346
01:28:06,270 --> 01:28:11,113
and shrinks back from
no controversial subject,

1347
01:28:11,197 --> 01:28:15,038
be it whatever it is, and it happens to be
sex in this case.

1348
01:28:15,121 --> 01:28:17,125
If you can call it controversial.

1349
01:28:18,670 --> 01:28:22,469
[Dr. Ruth]
<i>This was Fred Westheimer's favorite bench.</i>

1350
01:28:24,473 --> 01:28:30,068
<i>He loved this park with a passion.</i>
<i>He went here almost everyday after work.</i>

1351
01:28:35,955 --> 01:28:37,959
<i>One night in 1997,</i>

1352
01:28:38,794 --> 01:28:42,927
<i>I came home from a party for</i>
<i>the Academy Awards.</i>

1353
01:28:43,762 --> 01:28:47,352
<i>And Fred told me, "Ruth, I had a stroke."</i>

1354
01:28:49,106 --> 01:28:51,110
<i>So I called an ambulance,</i>

1355
01:28:51,277 --> 01:28:55,995
and they took him to the hospital.
He was in a coma for ten days.

1356
01:28:56,746 --> 01:28:59,168
They operated,
they did everything they could,

1357
01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:01,338
and they couldn't save him and he died.

1358
01:29:13,446 --> 01:29:19,333
<i>It was very sad because he would have</i>
<i>loved to see his grandchildren grow up.</i>

1359
01:29:22,422 --> 01:29:24,092
<i>It was too early.</i>

1360
01:29:28,476 --> 01:29:30,606
[Miriam] <i>Only time I saw her cry was</i>

1361
01:29:30,940 --> 01:29:32,777
right after my father died.

1362
01:29:32,944 --> 01:29:36,367
Like at, you know, at his bed,
he took his last breath, and...

1363
01:29:37,327 --> 01:29:38,664
and I saw her cry.

1364
01:29:38,747 --> 01:29:41,001
And I've never seen her cry besides that.

1365
01:29:45,636 --> 01:29:48,391
<i>After someone dies, Jews will sit Shivah.</i>

1366
01:29:48,684 --> 01:29:52,525
<i>It's a quiet time</i>
<i>and you stay at home for seven days</i>

1367
01:29:52,942 --> 01:29:54,821
<i>reflecting about the person,</i>

1368
01:29:54,904 --> 01:29:58,954
<i>and she did a couple of days</i>
<i>and then she went back to work.</i>

1369
01:30:00,498 --> 01:30:04,089
[Joel] <i>My mother has had a lot of</i>
<i>tragedies in her life.</i>

1370
01:30:04,172 --> 01:30:06,678
<i>Going through the Holocaust,</i>
<i>losing her parents,</i>

1371
01:30:06,761 --> 01:30:08,097
<i>losing my father.</i>

1372
01:30:09,642 --> 01:30:12,022
<i>She keeps engaged in so much work.</i>

1373
01:30:12,565 --> 01:30:14,234
<i>You know, here she is almost 90 years old,</i>

1374
01:30:14,318 --> 01:30:15,904
<i>but she's always busy.</i>

1375
01:30:16,573 --> 01:30:19,077
<i>I think she does a part of that</i>

1376
01:30:19,161 --> 01:30:21,916
<i>because she loves what she does,</i>

1377
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:24,046
<i>but I think it's also...</i>

1378
01:30:25,173 --> 01:30:26,801
it's her survival mechanism.

1379
01:30:28,137 --> 01:30:30,391
<i>I think she felt consciously</i>
<i>or unconsciously</i>

1380
01:30:30,475 --> 01:30:32,312
<i>that she had a choice to go on</i>

1381
01:30:32,813 --> 01:30:34,692
<i>or to be devoured by it.</i>

1382
01:30:37,113 --> 01:30:39,994
[man] Are there parts of your past
that you don't like to talk about?

1383
01:30:40,954 --> 01:30:41,998
Of course.

1384
01:30:42,290 --> 01:30:45,088
There are certain things
that one does not share.

1385
01:30:45,171 --> 01:30:48,386
Not even with a spouse
or with one's own children.

1386
01:30:48,804 --> 01:30:50,223
Let me give you an example,

1387
01:30:50,306 --> 01:30:54,272
my family was exterminated in
concentration camps.

1388
01:30:55,400 --> 01:30:58,698
And there are certain aspects of, um,

1389
01:30:58,782 --> 01:31:02,540
the hurt and the loneliness
that I don't dwell on

1390
01:31:02,623 --> 01:31:05,420
because there are certain things
that nobody else can help.

1391
01:31:06,130 --> 01:31:07,257
[man] Thank you.

1392
01:31:09,929 --> 01:31:12,977
[Joel] <i>It's easy for you and me to say</i>

1393
01:31:13,060 --> 01:31:14,939
<i>she's blocking off her feelings</i>

1394
01:31:15,022 --> 01:31:17,695
<i>or she should really</i>
<i>explore this in depth.</i>

1395
01:31:18,154 --> 01:31:20,659
[Miriam] <i>But that's who she is.</i>

1396
01:31:21,201 --> 01:31:22,538
<i>That's how she survives</i>

1397
01:31:23,122 --> 01:31:26,796
<i>and whatever it takes</i>
<i>to be able to live your life</i>

1398
01:31:26,880 --> 01:31:30,846
as fully as she has is...

1399
01:31:32,265 --> 01:31:34,060
you know, OK by me.

1400
01:31:47,003 --> 01:31:48,047
[Dr. Ruth]
More flowers?

1401
01:31:48,757 --> 01:31:51,094
Oh, my gosh, who sent me that?

1402
01:31:51,178 --> 01:31:52,640
That's beautiful.

1403
01:31:52,723 --> 01:31:53,892
All right.

1404
01:31:54,602 --> 01:31:56,689
Not to be taken for granted,

1405
01:31:57,357 --> 01:32:00,656
the <i>New York Times</i>,
the most important paper

1406
01:32:00,739 --> 01:32:03,662
in the entire United States.

1407
01:32:03,745 --> 01:32:06,709
On my birthday, front page,

1408
01:32:06,793 --> 01:32:10,509
not just buried sometime,
someplace inside.

1409
01:32:10,592 --> 01:32:12,220
Look at this.

1410
01:32:12,596 --> 01:32:13,723
Oops.

1411
01:32:15,936 --> 01:32:18,900
"At 90, still talking about sex

1412
01:32:18,984 --> 01:32:20,444
from morning to night."

1413
01:32:21,405 --> 01:32:24,452
OK, let's go, let's go.

1414
01:32:26,666 --> 01:32:27,960
[laughing]

1415
01:32:36,101 --> 01:32:37,605
<i>I do remember</i>

1416
01:32:38,022 --> 01:32:40,443
<i>when I was about nine and a half,</i>

1417
01:32:40,527 --> 01:32:43,032
<i>before I left Frankfurt for Switzerland,</i>

1418
01:32:43,658 --> 01:32:46,873
<i>there was a book in my parent's library</i>

1419
01:32:46,956 --> 01:32:49,002
<i>up on the last shelf,</i>

1420
01:32:49,837 --> 01:32:54,555
<i>and when nobody was home,</i>
<i>I climbed up to look at the book.</i>

1421
01:32:56,016 --> 01:32:58,437
<i>It was called</i> The Ideal Marriage.

1422
01:32:59,439 --> 01:33:03,698
<i>And saw that book with sexual positions</i>

1423
01:33:03,782 --> 01:33:07,038
<i>and said,</i>
<i>"That's what my parents are doing!"</i>

1424
01:33:10,461 --> 01:33:12,090
<i>So my parents,</i>

1425
01:33:12,173 --> 01:33:16,264
<i>even though they never had the opportunity</i>
<i>to know me later...</i>

1426
01:33:17,768 --> 01:33:21,441
<i>they helped me</i>
<i>become the person I am today.</i>

1427
01:33:22,485 --> 01:33:24,072
‐Thank you, Vincent.
‐You're welcome.

1428
01:33:24,155 --> 01:33:26,619
‐Make sure they're feeding you.
‐OK.

1429
01:33:36,012 --> 01:33:37,683
[Michal]
We all often get asked,

1430
01:33:37,766 --> 01:33:40,312
what's it like to be the grandchildren
of Dr. Ruth.

1431
01:33:40,814 --> 01:33:43,152
Well, it's having a grandmother
who's really funny,

1432
01:33:43,444 --> 01:33:45,574
who hikes and who skis and swims,

1433
01:33:45,657 --> 01:33:47,870
and who gives wonderful advice
to her grandchildren.

1434
01:33:47,953 --> 01:33:50,332
Happy 90th birthday to our wonderful Omi.

1435
01:33:52,755 --> 01:33:55,134
Anyone who knows Ruth well, also knows

1436
01:33:55,217 --> 01:33:58,390
that she does not discuss her
area of expertise with her family.

1437
01:33:59,434 --> 01:34:01,104
There is one exception in 4th grade,

1438
01:34:01,188 --> 01:34:02,983
when she gave a sex education lecture

1439
01:34:03,066 --> 01:34:05,279
in my entire class
at Riverdale Country School.

1440
01:34:05,362 --> 01:34:07,408
[audience laughing]

1441
01:34:08,160 --> 01:34:09,663
And I still haven't recovered.

1442
01:34:14,130 --> 01:34:17,094
All jokes aside, happy 90th birthday, Omi.

1443
01:34:17,554 --> 01:34:19,474
I feel very lucky to be your grandson,

1444
01:34:19,558 --> 01:34:20,811
and that think
there are millions of people

1445
01:34:20,894 --> 01:34:22,731
who are lucky to have taken your advice.

1446
01:34:29,787 --> 01:34:32,793
Ruth may have become Dr. Ruth
in the 1980s,

1447
01:34:32,876 --> 01:34:34,797
but 30 plus years later,

1448
01:34:34,880 --> 01:34:36,174
she continues to educate

1449
01:34:36,424 --> 01:34:38,638
and inspire all of us.

1450
01:34:39,305 --> 01:34:41,309
Tonight provides us an opportunity

1451
01:34:41,393 --> 01:34:43,815
to tell you how much of an impact

1452
01:34:43,898 --> 01:34:46,278
you and your life still have.

1453
01:34:46,946 --> 01:34:50,745
May you have many more
healthy and happy birthdays.

1454
01:34:57,634 --> 01:34:59,012
Grandchildren!

1455
01:34:59,805 --> 01:35:01,266
<i>When I look back,</i>

1456
01:35:01,349 --> 01:35:05,984
<i>it was exactly 70 years ago,</i>
<i>on my 20th birthday,</i>

1457
01:35:06,067 --> 01:35:08,531
<i>that I was wounded in Jerusalem,</i>

1458
01:35:08,615 --> 01:35:10,869
<i>and I could've lost both my legs.</i>

1459
01:35:11,829 --> 01:35:14,543
<i>And it is 80 years ago</i>

1460
01:35:14,710 --> 01:35:17,883
<i>that I left Frankfurt am Main</i>

1461
01:35:17,966 --> 01:35:19,845
<i>because of the Nazis.</i>

1462
01:35:20,931 --> 01:35:23,185
<i>If I could talk to that girl now,</i>

1463
01:35:23,728 --> 01:35:26,901
<i>I would say, "Despite the fact</i>

1464
01:35:26,984 --> 01:35:30,909
<i>that you lived through some tragic events,</i>

1465
01:35:32,746 --> 01:35:36,169
<i>look what has happened to you</i>
<i>in your life."</i>

1466
01:35:51,199 --> 01:35:53,621
You people, did you eat something?

1467
01:35:55,124 --> 01:35:56,459
Bye‐bye!

1468
01:35:57,629 --> 01:35:59,173
Hold my hand, please.

1469
01:36:03,265 --> 01:36:04,560
All right.

1470
01:36:04,643 --> 01:36:06,939
‐Did you eat?
‐[man] Yeah.

1471
01:36:13,911 --> 01:36:15,707
<i>From my background,</i>

1472
01:36:15,790 --> 01:36:18,336
<i>all of the things that I've survived,</i>

1473
01:36:18,420 --> 01:36:21,886
<i>I have an obligation to live large</i>

1474
01:36:21,969 --> 01:36:25,225
<i>and make a dent in this world.</i>

1475
01:36:27,814 --> 01:36:29,108
‐OK.
‐OK.

1476
01:36:59,753 --> 01:37:01,297
Oh, I see a rainbow!

1477
01:37:01,381 --> 01:37:02,759
Get the rainbow!

1478
01:37:03,093 --> 01:37:04,888
Rainbows bring good luck.

1479
01:37:05,723 --> 01:37:08,228
Here, I see cows.

1480
01:37:09,021 --> 01:37:11,819
One, two, a whole bunch of them.

1481
01:37:12,696 --> 01:37:16,871
Fred Westheimer would've wanted to stop
to talk to them.

1482
01:37:18,875 --> 01:37:20,628
Look at that snow.

1483
01:37:23,425 --> 01:37:25,053
[man laughing]

1484
01:37:26,264 --> 01:37:27,851
Snow in August!

1485
01:37:29,145 --> 01:37:30,940
<i>There is an American term</i>

1486
01:37:31,024 --> 01:37:33,863
which I don't use,
but I'm going to use it now.

1487
01:37:34,363 --> 01:37:35,783
"Cock‐teasing."

1488
01:37:36,201 --> 01:37:40,543
So, you've never heard me
use that word. Right?

1489
01:37:41,754 --> 01:37:43,298
We have to discuss that.

1490
01:37:43,591 --> 01:37:46,387
Ryan, you have to taste this.

1491
01:37:46,680 --> 01:37:47,974
Something special.

1492
01:37:48,643 --> 01:37:52,567
Who else in the world has a friend

1493
01:37:52,943 --> 01:37:55,782
who is a big shot attorney!

1494
01:37:56,449 --> 01:37:58,495
Can I tell them how much money you make?

1495
01:37:58,579 --> 01:37:59,748
No.

1496
01:37:59,831 --> 01:38:01,835
I know how much money he makes per hour.

1497
01:38:02,002 --> 01:38:03,129
I won't say it.

1498
01:38:06,344 --> 01:38:08,808
The last one. Eat it, Ryan.

1499
01:38:10,102 --> 01:38:12,314
‐[Dr. Ruth] Can you hear me?
‐[Jacobson] I can. You sound beautiful.

1500
01:38:12,398 --> 01:38:13,483
[Dr. Ruth]
All right.

1501
01:38:13,567 --> 01:38:16,573
I just have to remember
that it's on all the time.

1502
01:38:19,245 --> 01:38:22,251
There's a lot of cow shit. Oop!

1503
01:38:23,546 --> 01:38:26,510
I have two dollhouses in New York,

1504
01:38:26,593 --> 01:38:28,931
and I need one of those.

1505
01:38:29,641 --> 01:38:33,858
I love anything that is small
and perfect like me.

1506
01:38:34,358 --> 01:38:35,360
[door opens]

1507
01:38:35,444 --> 01:38:36,487
[Dr. Ruth speaking]

1508
01:38:38,617 --> 01:38:40,705
Look what I took for you!

1509
01:38:40,788 --> 01:38:42,542
Look what I stole for you.

1510
01:38:42,625 --> 01:38:44,211
Some candy for everyone.

1511
01:38:44,295 --> 01:38:45,297
[Greg speaking]

1512
01:38:45,380 --> 01:38:46,717
[Dr. Ruth] No, it's not borrowed.
You can eat it.

1513
01:38:46,800 --> 01:38:47,719
[laughter]

1514
01:38:50,558 --> 01:38:52,186
[Ryan] You said the last one.

1515
01:38:52,269 --> 01:38:53,480
Another one?

1516
01:38:54,566 --> 01:38:57,655
[interviewer]

1517
01:38:58,323 --> 01:39:00,369
What a stupid question!

1518
01:39:00,452 --> 01:39:01,747
Next question.

1519
01:39:02,414 --> 01:39:04,628
With all my talking from morning to night,

1520
01:39:04,711 --> 01:39:06,673
I'm actually a very private person.

1521
01:39:07,466 --> 01:39:10,973
You will not know how much money I have,

1522
01:39:11,057 --> 01:39:13,478
and you're not going to know
with whom I'm sleeping either.

1523
01:39:13,562 --> 01:39:15,315
‐That's it! Goodbye!
‐[laughter]