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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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(Crowd Protesting)

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Stop appropriating other cultures.

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Check you privilege!

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Where’s my representation?

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Quit Manslplaining!

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(Crowd Protesting)

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To sleep perchance to dream...

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...ay there’s the rub.

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You pieces of chicken shit!

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She’ll never do it she’s faking it.

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She just wants attention.

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I felt angry, confused.

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I had a college education, a place to live.

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I grew up in a household with an

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income over a hundred thousand dollars a year.

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But I still felt like a victim.

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Like a victim.

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Victim

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Until one day my doctor told me I suffer from Entitlementia.

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Entitlementia is a disease that commonly afflicts

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middle to upper class people between the age of eighteen and thirty.

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Symptoms may include excessive whining, intolerance of

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differing opinions, difficulties with critical thinking, extreme narcism,

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fear of jokes, chronic tweeting, allergic to microaggressions,

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no one wanting to hang out with you.

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Now there’s a treatment, Safespacia.

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Safespacia creates your own personal safe space wherever you go.

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Ask your doctor if Safespacia is right for you.

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Safespacia is right for you.

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Side effects may include dizziness, hair loss,

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diarrhea, constipation, night terrors, suicidal thoughts,

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homicidal thoughts, thoughts of despair, fatness, projectile vomiting,

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instant death, hysterical blindness, loss of taste, cellulitis and HIV.

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Make every space a safe space.

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Oh hey guys.

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Amazing

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That’s a commercial.

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Avonbard Incorporated is embarking upon momentous terrain.

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This new drug Safespacia

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stands to make our pharmaceutical conglomerate

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the richest of its kind in all of the world.

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This celebratory cruise

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is all about thanking you

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all.

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And our social media influencers up above deck.

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I started this company as a poor orphan child.

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Stealing heart medication from elderly women.

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And then reselling the pills to train yard hobos

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in exchange for pennies

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and blowjobs.

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Crowd Cheers

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Here’s to dedication

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and self-medication.

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To dedication

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and self-medication.

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Bring out the entertainment

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May I introduce to you Gonerill she gives the boys a thrill.

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Titania she puts the man in mania

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Cordelia she’d like to feel 'ya.

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Boneta she’ll beat a ya meat-ah.

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And I’m Puck, I’m here to fuck!

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And now the lady who puts the handy into handicap.

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She’ll make you pop a boner as she pops a wheelie!

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Ariel!

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Let’s get this party started.

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Diversity hire.

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Whoa!

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And so beginnings our tale of madness and vengeance.

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Hello, I am William Shakespeare.

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Come with me and we will greet our cast and characters.

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The man with the champagne bottle is Alonzo King

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aka Big Al.

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President of Avonbard the largest pharmaceutical company in the world.

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Known for his hard partying ways

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he’s far more interested in pleasures of the flesh

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then with the overseeing of business.

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This young man is Ferdinand his son.

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Head of marketing at Avonbard

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and trying to provide a conscious for his father daily.

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So far he’s failed.

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Antoinette Duke vice president of Avonbard.

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She’s broken through every glass ceiling.

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Her ambition has led to a strangle hold

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on the pharmaceutical industry.

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There is nothing she wouldn’t do to get ahead.

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Including betraying her own brother.

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Remember that brother part for later, foreshadowing.

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Senator Sebastian has received millions in donations from Avonbard.

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In return she pushes through legislation

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for their pharmaceutical products regardless of safety.

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There nothing she wouldn’t do for political gain or money.

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These individuals forcing the interns to play Russian Roulette

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are Chien Wu Beng Chinese billionaire

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and Mbuth D’Fur African warlord.

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These two sold out their people,

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their culture and their homeland

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all for the profits of Avonbard.

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They have zero respect for human life.

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Let alone the lives of these interns.

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Steph and Trini.

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Two social media activist,

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who have advanced their careers

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by banning all potential works of art from American universities.

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Such works of art as

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Huckleberry Finn,

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Candide,

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Are you there God? It’s me Margaret,

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Dr. Seuss’s Hop on Pop

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and ...what the fuck?

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The collected works of William Shakespeare!

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Because they are twitter savvy

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they were pointed ahead of Avonbard’s social media

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Thanks to them Avonbard has over ten million followers.

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Suck my balls you pussies.

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Now that we have introduced our players lets begin our story.

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Act One:

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no stronger than an usher

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and as leaky as an unstarched wench.

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Come on you said you wanna!

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I don’t wanna do this.

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I’m just an intern!

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We need this for our careers.

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Darren Whitman started out as just an intern

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and now he’s a VP. Just look at him.

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I got a VIP parking spot.

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That’s hot.

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How you liking the party so far?

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People seem to love the dancer you insisted we hire.

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Yes, we thought a wider range of body types should be represented.

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Thanks for bringing along the chick in the wheelchair.

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I have always wanted to jerk off onto a cripple.

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I mean onto a differently abled person.

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Things can get a little wild.

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Yes a lot of toxic heterosexuality on display.

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And I believe I may have even heard an inappropriate joke being told.

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I think I might maybe

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kind of be feeling

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some very mild discomfort.

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Did you take your Safespacia?

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Yes!

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Maybe we should go above deck

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and get some fresh air.

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Enjoy yourself.

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Get your dirty hands off me.

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Pretty great after all these years they are releasing Safespacia right?

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All our hard work paying off.

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You mean mine, my hard work.

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I’m the one who thought of Safespacia.

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I’m the one who raised all the money,

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I financed the research,

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I got it through congress,

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I bribed the FDA,

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its all about me.

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But, your father’s just a drunk

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all he does is take cocaine

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and stick his wanger in god knows what type of gorilla.

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He’s disgusting.

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Well, that’s dad alright loves to party.

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Good talk.

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Now!

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I’m having so much fun Captain Blarney.

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Your not getting paid to have fun.

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You were nicer to me in Morocco.

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I feel so much better now.

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How about we pop another Safespacia

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and head back down to the party.

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I need my pills god.

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What is that?

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It's whales.

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Their beautiful.

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But what are they doing?

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They're...

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...defecating.

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Eww.

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No not eww!

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Its a fecal bloom.

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Whale fecal blooms are a wonderful

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and important part of the ecosystem.

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We learned that from the Sea World protest we went to.

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Your right, your right.

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Hello whales!

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I’m so sorry that I poo shamed you,

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you are amazing and we love you.

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We do! We love you.

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Free Willy.

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We are so fortunate to be apart of something so natural

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and so special.

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Thank you whales.

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Condom guy we need more condoms over here.

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We are running out of dildos over here.

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Condom boy.

194
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We need more dildos now!

195
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I’m gonna blow!

196
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Holy shit its a tricycle!

197
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I’m gonna take this thing to the hallway that looks like The Shining.

198
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Dad!? Dad!?

199
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Dad we need to talk things are getting a little out of control.

200
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Oh horse shit this party is just getting started.

201
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Dad the pipes!

202
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Aw that’s just a steam pipe.

203
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A cleavland steamer.

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They must have been eating the plastic in the ocean.

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I read about it in Mother Jones.

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Shit orgy!

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Everyone out! We must evacuate!

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Come on all you humans both males and females.

209
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Beware of the zooming huge full of shit whales.

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They go by and fly right over your heads,

211
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when they dump their loads they will smother you dead.

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And its hey ho yo boy a shitstorms a coming,

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hey ho yo boys a shitstorms right here

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when you hear that noise your entering hell

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this story is not all is well ends well.

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Look out you pervaders of corporate greed

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better say your prayers because your gonna bleed.

218
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The ship you are sailing is oh so heinous

219
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Prospero’s magic will kick out your Cariolanus!

220
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Cariolanus!

221
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See what I did there?

222
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Cole Porter in Tromaville.

223
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Daddy?

224
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No Mr. Burns! Later, later! Please!

225
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Daddy?

226
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This is fantastic.

227
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Daddy!

228
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Yes my little Crenshaw melon Miranda?

229
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,437
How’s it hanging? What’s up?

230
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:43,025
I was trying to take a nap but I can’t with all your maniacal laughter.

231
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What is so sinisterly funny?

232
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,529
Nothing, nothing sinister

233
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:49,990
I was just laughing at a good old fart joke.

234
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:54,453
You see these two rabbis go to a chili cook-off and it's hilarious.

235
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Daddy what did you do?

236
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,084
Nothing.

237
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Just planning the first stages of brutal vengeance that’s all.

238
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Daddy you know how I feel about brutal vengeance.

239
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,098
Those scat cover snowflakes are caught in the shitstorm.

240
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Good alliteration from Captain Blarney here.

241
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Go out there and help them!

242
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Oh but, I don’t want to get shit on my new Gucci shoes.

243
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It's understandable.

244
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:27,695
That lightening blasted a huge whole in the ship.

245
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:31,031
Oh no all the feces are going down the boat.

246
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:32,449
We’re gonna sink!

247
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We're gonna die!

248
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We have to get to the captain it's our only hope.

249
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The boat is gonna sink.

250
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The boat is gonna sink.

251
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We are all gonna be dead.

252
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,087
Get your balls out of your purse,

253
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,964
we’re not dead until I say we’re dead.

254
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:49,008
I’ve seen worse shitstorms then this,

255
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,884
remember I was in Iraq.

256
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,803
You were on vacation.

257
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,638
OMG what’s happening?

258
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,821
Take us to port right now.

259
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,364
We are nowhere near our destination.

260
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,033
Please, I’m begging you!

261
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,660
Listen I’ve never failed to complete a trip before

262
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:17,995
and I’m not gonna start now.

263
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,122
And look things are getting better,

264
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the storms dying down.

265
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,500
Look I’ll show you everything is fine.

266
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We’ll be having fish sticks for dinner.

267
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:32,676
Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!

268
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:36,180
It's Iraq all over again!

269
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,181
Mommy!

270
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,942
Boatswain do something!

271
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,738
Oh so this too too sullied flesh

272
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,199
should melt and resolve to become

273
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,244
a promotion.

274
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,122
Hamlet act 1 scene 2.

275
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:05,834
Boatswain I mean captain take us to land.

276
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:07,211
Okay.

277
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,422
But, if there is one thing they did teach me at Naval academy

278
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,883
is that if your boat starts to fill with whale excrement

279
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,761
you got to get to the closest port you can.

280
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,514
There is only one place close enough

281
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:21,100
it's where all the shit eventually goes.

282
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,229
Help me!

283
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,314
You left me behind!

284
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:34,238
Oh that’s a hell of a way to get sober.

285
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,198
Now what are we gonna do?

286
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,827
There are villages in Africa where 95%

287
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:42,496
of the villagers have aids that are more pleasant than this

288
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:43,914
New Jersey.

289
00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:58,887
Crying gibberish

290
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:02,474
New Jersey’s not that bad.

291
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,309
Aren’t those the girls from the boat?

292
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,604
In fact I know the place

293
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:10,482
with the hottest girls you have ever seen

294
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,277
and more drugs than you can imagine.

295
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:16,655
You can fuck and party your brains out.

296
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,408
Here let me call an Uber.

297
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,952
Hey Uber.

298
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,246
It's tha Uber, oh shiza.

299
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,873
You were in a shitstorm earlier, here.

300
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:30,210
Act Two:

301
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,755
Good wombs have borne bad sons.

302
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,510
Miranda dear, I think it's time I told you the story

303
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:42,055
of how we ended up here in shitty Tromaville New Jersey.

304
00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:43,640
I like Tromaville.

305
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,601
Well come sit on your dad’s

306
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:46,810
your dad's knee.

307
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,146
Whoa whoops.

308
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,693
It all started a long time ago

309
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,487
in the dark backwards abysmal time

310
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,907
known as the 1980s.

311
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:00,490
Ahh.

312
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:03,493
I was a brilliant young chemist.

313
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,580
My sister Antoinette took care of sales.

314
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,291
Together we became unstoppable.

315
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,460
I’d create the medications for us,

316
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,046
she’d take care of our marketing needs.

317
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,088
Yes,

318
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:16,298
athletes foot,

319
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:18,133
staph infections,

320
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,009
diarrhea.

321
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:21,303
I’d create drugs to cure them all.

322
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,097
We were such a hot property on the market that

323
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,267
Big Al himself swooped in to hire us both.

324
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,271
Avonbard!

325
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,814
Oh I’m so excited.

326
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,191
Big money,

327
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,192
fast cars,

328
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,610
mountains of cocaine,

329
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,362
the gorgeous women.

330
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,656
Oh those beautiful women baby.

331
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,450
When you have the power to stop diarrhea

332
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:45,494
everybody wants to suck your dick.

333
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,038
The world was our oyster

334
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,874
and we were gonna fuck that oyster raw.

335
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,294
Unfortunately my wild ways caught up with me.

336
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,172
Can I put that man meat in my mouth please?

337
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:02,469
Wait! Heat seeking moister, missile is ready to launch!

338
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,350
Don’t stop please please.

339
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,228
Please I’m almost there, I’m almost there.

340
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:17,150
I’m cumming I’m cumming. Oh god oh...

341
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,034
I had to relearn how to walk.

342
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,037
And move my arms.

343
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:30,831
And get boners.

344
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:32,749
You can do it!

345
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:33,750
Yes!

346
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:36,712
Yay Prospero! Oh my goodness.

347
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:40,549
During that time I realized I had been using my gift selfishly.

348
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:44,845
I vowed that for the rest of my life that I would try to help others.

349
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,472
Also I started banging my nurse

350
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:50,267
who I accidentally impregnated then I had to marry her.

351
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,686
That’s where you came from princess.

352
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:57,065
Anyway I vowed to come up with cures true permanent

353
00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:02,487
fixes for problems like depression, anxiety and vaginal stink.

354
00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:08,118
But, along the way I found a cure for opioid addiction.

355
00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:11,830
This was one of the greatest breakthroughs in medical history.

356
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:16,251
Unfortunately, what I didn’t realize is that opioid addiction

357
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:20,589
is a fifty billion dollar industry, enriching the elites.

358
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:23,008
They didn’t want to cure opioid addiction.

359
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,427
They just wanted the addiction to go on and on

360
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,637
so people would be returning the drugs

361
00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:29,848
and buying more and more opioids

362
00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:32,517
and making a small number of white men rich.

363
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,228
Executives wanted me to be fired,

364
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:38,398
including my own sister, whom I hired.

365
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:41,735
She’s a miserable rat shit fuck slob.

366
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:45,614
She and Big Al got the board of directors to fire me.

367
00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:47,032
So I went to the media.

368
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,742
Boy, that was a big mistake.

369
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:51,953
With the government agencies are selling addiction.

370
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:54,039
They don’t want to cure these diseases.

371
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,624
They want to keep selling the pills and

372
00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:59,544
take the medicine everyday once a day and…

373
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:02,297
Well, you're a brave man for speaking up Prospero.

374
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:05,133
These are truths the American people need to hear.

375
00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:09,096
And hopefully everybody was listening to what you said today.

376
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:12,599
Let’s have some fun lets change course Charlie,

377
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:17,270
I brought you this delightful plate of delicious tacos.

378
00:23:17,687 --> 00:23:19,731
It's Cinco de Mayo.

379
00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:20,607
Yay Cinco de Mayo.

380
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:21,024
Cut.

381
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,192
Cut.

382
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:23,735
Happy Cinco de Mayo!

383
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:27,114
Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

384
00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:27,948
Cut!

385
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:29,491
Singing

386
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:30,659
Cut!

387
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:47,884
Angry Crowd

388
00:23:48,301 --> 00:23:50,887
Look this is a press conference come on come on.

389
00:23:51,471 --> 00:23:54,266
Look I meant no offense to the great people of Mexico

390
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:57,102
when I brought that box of tacos to Charlie Rose.

391
00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:00,147
It's just I don’t want to distract from the important issue

392
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:03,442
which is that the giant devil worshiping international

393
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:05,068
pharmaceutical corporations…

394
00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:06,528
Quit moving your hands!

395
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:09,531
Hold on folks I can’t hear what this gentleman has to say.

396
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:12,492
Sir, speak up. Project from your balls.

397
00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:16,121
Hand gestures are a tool of patriarchal oppression!

398
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,956
Put that down!

399
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:18,874
My hands?

400
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,709
Put them down like this?

401
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,877
No that’s still offensive.

402
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:22,961
I don’t understand.

403
00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:24,087
Hate crime!

404
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,341
BLACK LIVES MATTER!

405
00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:31,720
Also, FAT LIVES MATTER!

406
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,890
How about this? It’s a nice butterfly.

407
00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:37,142
Hey, your appropriating insect culture.

408
00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:40,729
Hey, hey hey I masturbated to a Japanese woman,

409
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:43,356
is that masturbation cultural appropriation?

410
00:24:43,356 --> 00:24:44,357
Yes!

411
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:46,276
How about appropriating this?

412
00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:50,405
I was just trying to save you people so fuck off you jerks.

413
00:24:51,948 --> 00:24:52,949
Fuck you Prospero.

414
00:24:57,287 --> 00:24:59,748
There I was my life’s work stolen from me,

415
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:01,374
betrayed by my own sister,

416
00:25:01,374 --> 00:25:02,626
shunned from society.

417
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:05,170
The shame that came was so unfair.

418
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,923
it was far too much for your mother to bear.

419
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,300
So, that’s why I’m blind.

420
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:11,718
It sure is honey.

421
00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:14,304
daddy’s little PTSD pumpkin.

422
00:25:15,096 --> 00:25:17,432
I gathered up everything I had in the world.

423
00:25:17,682 --> 00:25:19,893
my daughter and my measly settlement of

424
00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:21,645
two-hundred and twenty-five million dollars.

425
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:25,649
And headed for a place far removed from the perverted reach

426
00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:27,150
of modern society.

427
00:25:27,150 --> 00:25:30,737
and that’s when I found the shores of Tromaville New Jersey.

428
00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:53,969
My daughter and I are looking for a nice place to live in New Jersey.

429
00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:56,513
Travelers ne'er did lie

430
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,890
Though fools at home condemn ‘em.

431
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:01,518
That’s from The Tempest.

432
00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:03,311
Yeah.

433
00:26:03,311 --> 00:26:05,063
You got money asshole?

434
00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:06,648
How much are you looking for?

435
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:07,941
How much you got?

436
00:26:08,775 --> 00:26:10,777
So, I purchased an old crackhouse

437
00:26:10,777 --> 00:26:13,446
and hired all the dirty crackwhores I could find

438
00:26:13,446 --> 00:26:14,322
to work for me.

439
00:26:14,322 --> 00:26:16,116
And that’s how I met Ariel.

440
00:26:16,366 --> 00:26:19,786
So, that’s why Aunt Ariel is always sucking dick for crack.

441
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:23,456
Yes baby that’s why Aunt Ariel is such a huge crackwhore

442
00:26:23,456 --> 00:26:25,083
she just loves that stuff.

443
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:26,710
Now can I please finish my story?

444
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,253
Sorry daddy jeez.

445
00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:30,964
All these years I have been planning my revenge

446
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:33,633
against Avonbard and all the world.

447
00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:35,635
Thanks to all my spies I have learned that

448
00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:39,014
they would take a cruise quite soon to North Korea.

449
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:42,017
I had Ariel infiltrate their coast guard boat

450
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:46,855
and using gallons and gallons of whale laxatives lured them to doom.

451
00:26:48,231 --> 00:26:50,567
So, that’s the diddly deal daughter.

452
00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:53,028
Your tale, sir, would cure deafness.

453
00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:55,363
But, could you cure blindness?

454
00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:57,324
You know like my blidness?

455
00:26:57,782 --> 00:26:59,743
Sure would be nice to see again.

456
00:27:00,243 --> 00:27:01,911
Also to know when I’m done wiping.

457
00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:03,330
Oh here they come.

458
00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:05,540
It’s time to fuck shit up.

459
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:06,750
Yeah, yeah.

460
00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:09,836
I’ll show you some Tempest.

461
00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:14,049
All my life it has been about revenge, revenge, revenge.

462
00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,467
What about forgiveness?

463
00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:19,929
These violent delights have violent ends.

464
00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:23,475
Here’s Prospero!

465
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:29,314
Prospero?

466
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:31,608
It’s a common enough name.

467
00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:35,236
Well I guess we have no choice

468
00:27:35,236 --> 00:27:36,112
gotta go in.

469
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:39,324
Here they are as promised.

470
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:42,410
These mother fuckers smell terrible.

471
00:27:42,994 --> 00:27:45,205
And their clothes are shit fucked.

472
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:49,125
Do we still have all those old costumes from

473
00:27:49,125 --> 00:27:51,586
when we did summer stock theater?

474
00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:53,838
Yeah we do.

475
00:27:54,547 --> 00:27:56,216
Hose them down.

476
00:28:06,893 --> 00:28:11,648
Welcome to Prospero’s Retreat.

477
00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:15,151
We got a killer band.

478
00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:16,069
Howdy.

479
00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:19,072
And endless drugs.

480
00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:23,660
So, let’s party.

481
00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:32,252
Well Maggie was a bitch

482
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:33,420
and Maggie was a whore.

483
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:35,463
But, I never wished to see her walking out of that door.

484
00:28:35,463 --> 00:28:37,882
Maggie was cute but she sure was profane.

485
00:28:37,882 --> 00:28:39,968
Maggie had a sweet tooth for uncut cocaine.

486
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:42,095
Maggie come home.

487
00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:44,264
Maggie come home.

488
00:28:44,264 --> 00:28:46,474
Maggie come home.

489
00:28:46,474 --> 00:28:48,143
Get out of that fat man's truck.

490
00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:52,731
I feel so bad for everybody that didn’t make it off the boat.

491
00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:54,691
They will be missed.

492
00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:57,110
To the dead.

493
00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:58,445
To life!

494
00:28:58,570 --> 00:28:59,362
L’Chaim.

495
00:28:59,362 --> 00:29:00,613
Wrong play.

496
00:29:00,947 --> 00:29:03,116
For the last breath for you to ever take

497
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:05,577
to be a mouth full of whale shit.

498
00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:07,829
Son you're really bringing us down.

499
00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:11,458
If random executive number two weren’t dead

500
00:29:11,624 --> 00:29:13,585
he’d wished we went on with the party.

501
00:29:14,502 --> 00:29:18,214
Two horny slits with silicon tits.

502
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:21,342
Who’d take a dick wherever it fits.

503
00:29:21,551 --> 00:29:25,221
Be it where they pisses or where they shits.

504
00:29:25,221 --> 00:29:27,766
How can you be so selfish and so cold?

505
00:29:28,141 --> 00:29:30,435
Until you think on this, no more shots.

506
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:36,983
Can I offer you VIPs some hardcore drugs?

507
00:29:37,150 --> 00:29:39,611
Oh, bring me all your cocaine.

508
00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:40,820
Goddamnit.

509
00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:45,909
What if I told you we had something better than cocaine.

510
00:29:46,409 --> 00:29:49,621
Then I’d say you're a lying whore,

511
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:51,998
there is nothing better than cocaine.

512
00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:54,083
This is.

513
00:29:54,959 --> 00:29:57,420
Its called Tempest.

514
00:29:59,297 --> 00:30:00,131
Damn!

515
00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:02,675
I can feel that already.

516
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:05,220
Dad you don’t even know what that stuff is.

517
00:30:06,846 --> 00:30:08,765
I never felt so alive.

518
00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:14,145
Where does this come from?

519
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:16,648
Our owner makes it himself.

520
00:30:16,981 --> 00:30:19,818
It's a house special.

521
00:30:20,068 --> 00:30:21,736
I have to meet this guy.

522
00:30:21,861 --> 00:30:24,155
In due time big man.

523
00:30:24,322 --> 00:30:26,449
Now shall we dance?

524
00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:28,451
Dad we should be trying to find our way home.

525
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,414
Son you’ve got to lighten up.

526
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,709
Have a few drinks do a few lines of that green shit

527
00:30:36,709 --> 00:30:38,545
and go out and dance.

528
00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:39,504
Huh?

529
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:41,214
I’m not telling you that as your father,

530
00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:43,216
I’m telling you this as your boss.

531
00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:45,510
That’s an order.

532
00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:57,146
What are we gonna do now?

533
00:30:57,605 --> 00:31:00,733
It would have been so much easier to kill Big Al on the boat.

534
00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:03,194
We stick to the plan.

535
00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:06,030
anything you can do on a boat you can do in New Jersey.

536
00:31:06,364 --> 00:31:09,784
From birder, tweet tweet, to murder.

537
00:31:17,834 --> 00:31:20,420
Brutal vengeance is in my heart,

538
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,463
death is in my hand,

539
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:28,678
bloody battles bombard my brain just as the gods have planned.

540
00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:38,438
Look upon my work ye mighty and despair.

541
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:43,610
I got ya, I win!

542
00:31:43,651 --> 00:31:44,611
I’m gonna win.

543
00:31:53,995 --> 00:31:55,622
Damnnit. Goddamnit!

544
00:31:57,457 --> 00:32:00,126
Caliban, Caliban Miranda is in trouble

545
00:32:00,126 --> 00:32:04,130
Go help her, I’m too busy cackling and being manic depressive.

546
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:04,964
Alright.

547
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:09,427
I can’t believe you guys have pet ferrets here.

548
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:10,678
I love animals.

549
00:32:10,887 --> 00:32:12,555
You know I thought they’d be furrier.

550
00:32:13,139 --> 00:32:14,557
This is a special hairless breed.

551
00:32:14,724 --> 00:32:16,559
Oh hey there little guys.

552
00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:17,185
Little?

553
00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:18,937
It's not the size of the ferret that matters.

554
00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:21,356
Oh yeah pet him a little faster.

555
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:23,983
I think they like me.

556
00:32:24,609 --> 00:32:27,862
Oh you know its good luck to kiss a ferret.

557
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:30,823
Yeah that’s an old Irish saying.

558
00:32:31,032 --> 00:32:32,951
Oh, well if the Irish say it.

559
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,452
Who's luckier than them?

560
00:32:36,454 --> 00:32:38,790
What the fuck are y’all doing to that blind girl?

561
00:32:38,915 --> 00:32:40,416
They are letting me pet their ferrets.

562
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:43,294
Nah, y’all need to not do that.

563
00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:44,045
What’s wrong?

564
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:46,255
Your pops don’t want you petting ferrets.

565
00:32:46,255 --> 00:32:48,925
So, I’m gonna need you two to get your ferrets

566
00:32:48,925 --> 00:32:51,219
put them away and get the fuck up out of here.

567
00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:53,388
Oh come on man this is bullshit.

568
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,683
Yeah, I thought this place was supposed to be wild.

569
00:33:04,023 --> 00:33:06,734
It's gonna get wild if I have to beat your asses.

570
00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:08,945
Fuck is wrong with you?

571
00:33:09,862 --> 00:33:11,572
What is going on in here?

572
00:33:11,572 --> 00:33:15,118
That black guy was trying to take advantage of that girl.

573
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,119
Say what now?

574
00:33:16,536 --> 00:33:17,286
What’s happening?

575
00:33:18,621 --> 00:33:20,957
Yeah he was totally gonna rape the shit out of her

576
00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:21,624
before we stopped him.

577
00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:23,543
And he’s black.

578
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:24,502
Oh fuck.

579
00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:27,338
Gentlemen... you did a great thing here

580
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,007
We sure did.

581
00:33:29,215 --> 00:33:31,175
Now, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.

582
00:33:31,926 --> 00:33:34,178
I need to have a word with this scum punk.

583
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:38,725
Look man, you don’t want to do this.

584
00:33:38,725 --> 00:33:40,727
Your right, I don’t want to.

585
00:33:40,893 --> 00:33:44,522
But, sometimes it’s the only way to teach people like you a lesson.

586
00:33:44,522 --> 00:33:47,025
Like not to prey on beautiful blind girls.

587
00:33:47,233 --> 00:33:49,277
Wow thank you.

588
00:33:49,527 --> 00:33:50,570
For real though,

589
00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:55,491
I’m gonna need you to cover up those itty bitty nipples and chill out.

590
00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:57,577
Back when I was young

591
00:33:57,660 --> 00:34:00,621
I used to do intramural fisticuffs at Yale.

592
00:34:01,622 --> 00:34:03,916
I swore I would never use these skills to harm.

593
00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:05,710
Or to hurt anyone.

594
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:08,337
But, you forced my hand.

595
00:34:17,722 --> 00:34:19,140
You seem like a cool dude.

596
00:34:19,265 --> 00:34:21,768
What you're doing for this girl is admirable and shit.

597
00:34:21,976 --> 00:34:24,228
But, you got your information all wrong.

598
00:34:24,228 --> 00:34:26,939
It’s you that has their information wrong.

599
00:34:27,356 --> 00:34:31,194
Times up for people like you, sexual predator!

600
00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:37,200
Don’t kill him!

601
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,201
I think I love him.

602
00:34:39,994 --> 00:34:41,370
What’s he look like?

603
00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:45,166
What’s his hair color?

604
00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:48,377
Is it dark?

605
00:35:00,056 --> 00:35:01,182
You done now?

606
00:35:02,225 --> 00:35:06,896
Yeah, but don’t do it again.

607
00:35:08,523 --> 00:35:10,691
I got shit I gotta go clean up anyway.

608
00:35:10,691 --> 00:35:11,692
Catch you later.

609
00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:14,987
I don’t know what’s happening

610
00:35:15,154 --> 00:35:18,074
but thank you for standing up for me.

611
00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:19,909
What’s your name?

612
00:35:20,284 --> 00:35:21,119
Faa...

613
00:35:21,577 --> 00:35:22,036
Fart.

614
00:35:22,703 --> 00:35:23,329
Furry?

615
00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:24,205
Farview...

616
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,123
Furlene?

617
00:35:25,915 --> 00:35:26,499
Farley?

618
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:27,708
Fiable?

619
00:35:28,084 --> 00:35:28,793
Felton?

620
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:29,669
Finton?

621
00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:30,503
Furby?

622
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:31,587
Franklin?

623
00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:32,213
Frazier?

624
00:35:32,213 --> 00:35:32,755
Fradrick?

625
00:35:32,755 --> 00:35:33,756
Frodo! Frodo!

626
00:35:33,756 --> 00:35:35,424
Ah shit, what's in a name?

627
00:35:36,342 --> 00:35:38,553
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

628
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:41,848
My name is Ferdinand.

629
00:35:41,848 --> 00:35:42,974
Ferdinand, DAMNIT!

630
00:35:43,432 --> 00:35:46,060
That was the next name I was gonna say.

631
00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:49,021
What a nice name for such a nice gentleman.

632
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,565
My name is Miranda.

633
00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,780
if I could write the beauty of your eyes,

634
00:35:58,823 --> 00:36:02,118
And in fresh numbers number all your graces,

635
00:36:02,535 --> 00:36:05,079
the age to come would say ‘this poet lies.

636
00:36:05,913 --> 00:36:09,375
Such heavenly touches ne'er touched earthly faces.

637
00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:13,129
You're the most beautiful woman I have seen in my entire life.

638
00:36:14,380 --> 00:36:15,882
Well, in New Jersey.

639
00:36:15,882 --> 00:36:16,674
Oh.

640
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:18,301
Thank you.

641
00:36:19,468 --> 00:36:22,346
I never believed in love at first sight but now I do.

642
00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:24,473
Wow that sounds cool.

643
00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:26,684
I can never fall in love at first sight.

644
00:36:28,102 --> 00:36:29,437
Oh right the blind thing.

645
00:36:29,437 --> 00:36:30,021
Yeah.

646
00:36:30,146 --> 00:36:32,106
I have to fall in love at first in every other sense.

647
00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:33,232
Instead.

648
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:38,738
Sorry.

649
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:40,656
Very nice.

650
00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:45,119
Sounds good.

651
00:36:51,792 --> 00:36:53,252
A little salty, a little sweet.

652
00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:54,170
A little

653
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:55,755
whale shit.

654
00:36:56,672 --> 00:36:57,673
Nice!

655
00:37:07,725 --> 00:37:09,644
Oh yeah!

656
00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:13,856
Oh yeah.

657
00:37:15,024 --> 00:37:16,025
I'm in love with you too.

658
00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:21,405
You want to go down and join the party?

659
00:37:21,405 --> 00:37:23,783
I’ll catch up with you later, right now I gotta find a bathroom.

660
00:37:24,116 --> 00:37:26,535
I’m pretty sure my underwear is full of blood and shit right now.

661
00:37:26,535 --> 00:37:27,161
Okay.

662
00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:30,539
I’ll be in my room getting ready.

663
00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:35,086
Damnit where is it!?

664
00:37:37,338 --> 00:37:38,339
There it is.

665
00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:40,841
Act Three:

666
00:37:41,133 --> 00:37:44,929
All the infections, the sun sucks up.

667
00:37:48,557 --> 00:37:51,227
This is the place that Ariel said

668
00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:53,813
they were going but it looks like it is some sort of

669
00:37:53,980 --> 00:37:54,814
strip club!

670
00:37:55,314 --> 00:37:56,315
Woah!

671
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:57,942
We cannot go in there.

672
00:37:58,067 --> 00:38:01,862
I mean women owning their sexualities so they can dance is great…

673
00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:02,863
It's empowering.

674
00:38:02,863 --> 00:38:09,537
It is, but it might be enjoyed by heterosexual sis males.

675
00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:10,496
And that’s…

676
00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:12,331
Super problematic.

677
00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,083
Is it safe here?

678
00:38:14,583 --> 00:38:17,461
It seems like it is a little bit urban.

679
00:38:18,504 --> 00:38:22,300
Oh sorry didn’t mean to scare you,

680
00:38:23,175 --> 00:38:24,885
We were not scared.

681
00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:25,803
No!

682
00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:30,308
In fact we are thrilled to see a person of your...

683
00:38:30,433 --> 00:38:31,892
color?

684
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:34,228
Cool.

685
00:38:34,562 --> 00:38:37,189
But, you look like you're scared.

686
00:38:37,356 --> 00:38:37,898
No.

687
00:38:37,898 --> 00:38:41,152
We were scared for you, not of you.

688
00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,446
Black lives matter.

689
00:38:43,446 --> 00:38:44,238
Yes.

690
00:38:45,031 --> 00:38:47,033
Yeah I guess so.

691
00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:48,200
But, listen

692
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:55,374
be not of fear this city is full of noises, sounds and sweet airs.

693
00:38:55,374 --> 00:38:58,085
That give delight and hurt not.

694
00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:00,880
Is that marijuana?

695
00:39:01,589 --> 00:39:02,590
Oh yeah.

696
00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:09,764
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments hum about my ears,

697
00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:16,479
and sometimes voices that when I wake after long sleep

698
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:18,773
will make me sleep again.

699
00:39:20,524 --> 00:39:24,278
So the city ain’t so bad, but you ain’t racist for being a little scared.

700
00:39:24,987 --> 00:39:26,864
Us racist?

701
00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:28,741
That’s impossible!

702
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:31,452
I majored in African American studies.

703
00:39:31,827 --> 00:39:35,164
I once willingly sat next to a black man on a bus

704
00:39:35,164 --> 00:39:38,250
and there were seats open next to white people.

705
00:39:38,250 --> 00:39:39,210
Yeah, and I

706
00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:41,462
started an online campaign to get Hollywood

707
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:43,923
to cast a black woman as Yoda.

708
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:47,385
I think black babies are cuter than white babies.

709
00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:52,264
And I tell that to every white mother I meet.

710
00:39:52,264 --> 00:39:54,350
So, case closed not racist.

711
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:58,896
I hate that man, he has to be destroyed!

712
00:39:58,896 --> 00:40:02,566
He took away my family, innocents and purity.

713
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:11,117
Now, remember, I've got the ringy-ding-ding, but don’t tell my husband.

714
00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:15,538
Now we make our move.

715
00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:17,706
You stick Big Al with this.

716
00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:20,167
It will look like he overdosed on that green shit

717
00:40:20,167 --> 00:40:23,629
he’s been shoving up his big fat shnauz all this time.

718
00:40:23,629 --> 00:40:24,422
Right?

719
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,382
Let's go, let's get that fucker.

720
00:40:26,382 --> 00:40:27,383
Kill him.

721
00:40:27,967 --> 00:40:28,634
Dammnit.

722
00:40:28,634 --> 00:40:29,176
Bastard.

723
00:40:29,176 --> 00:40:32,012
Fucking goddamn piece of shit.

724
00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:35,558
Hey Big Al, you look like you're on top of the world.

725
00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:38,227
How could I not be with all this hot ass?

726
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:41,272
And that Tempest is terrific!

727
00:40:41,272 --> 00:40:43,941
We have to bring some of that back to New York huh?

728
00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:46,318
More.

729
00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:51,574
What was that?

730
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:52,575
What was what?

731
00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:56,579
Looking at titties, titties, titties, money.

732
00:40:56,579 --> 00:40:57,455
Yay!

733
00:40:58,289 --> 00:40:59,832
I don’t feel good.

734
00:41:01,208 --> 00:41:02,209
Want a doctor?

735
00:41:02,543 --> 00:41:03,502
Somethings wrong.

736
00:41:13,387 --> 00:41:17,391
False alarm everyone I just had to fart.

737
00:41:27,109 --> 00:41:31,822
Antoinette, you smelly fart face cunt of a sister!

738
00:41:34,158 --> 00:41:35,868
What the hell happened?

739
00:41:35,868 --> 00:41:37,953
I don’t know I,I...

740
00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:39,830
it could be that green stuff, the tempest

741
00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:42,416
that stuff he has been snorting all day, maybe

742
00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:45,711
it counteracted the poison in his system, I don’t know!

743
00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:47,421
Ay Yai Yai.

744
00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:48,964
Now what are we gonna do?

745
00:41:50,382 --> 00:41:52,801
Does this dress make me look fat?

746
00:41:53,260 --> 00:41:55,012
No, it doesn’t make you look fat.

747
00:41:55,012 --> 00:41:56,805
Now focus, focus.

748
00:41:56,805 --> 00:41:57,806
Now what?

749
00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:01,894
We will go to the two people that really know about killing

750
00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:06,524
Vamos.

751
00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:07,525
Come on El Chapo.

752
00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:11,403
I don’t know why my fishdicks keep dying.

753
00:42:11,403 --> 00:42:15,407
I feed them the peyote just like the Indians told me and...

754
00:42:15,991 --> 00:42:16,992
Hey Ariel what’s up?

755
00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:18,327
Well boss,

756
00:42:18,827 --> 00:42:20,371
I did what you asked.

757
00:42:20,663 --> 00:42:22,581
I got them all here.

758
00:42:22,706 --> 00:42:23,457
Good work.

759
00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:24,333
Here.

760
00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:25,543
Here's some crack.

761
00:42:25,709 --> 00:42:26,585
You’ve earned it.

762
00:42:31,006 --> 00:42:32,550
Fuck yeah.

763
00:42:32,925 --> 00:42:34,677
That’s the shit.

764
00:42:35,344 --> 00:42:40,432
So, now I am free from servitude and my wheelchair now.

765
00:42:40,849 --> 00:42:45,312
No, I won’t free you until I have achieved my brutal vengeance.

766
00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:48,524
Maybe then I could forgive you for trying to unionize

767
00:42:48,524 --> 00:42:50,317
all the crackwhores in Tromaville.

768
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:52,861
Well damn.

769
00:42:53,487 --> 00:42:57,074
But, tell me Ariel how did you manage to get the ship to turn around,

770
00:42:57,074 --> 00:42:59,159
sail into that whale shitstorm

771
00:42:59,159 --> 00:43:02,288
and get those people to land in Tromaville New Jersey?

772
00:43:02,746 --> 00:43:07,418
All I had to do is get the captain alone

773
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:09,670
and the rest was easy.

774
00:43:12,047 --> 00:43:15,384
Pretty please, I can’t see the whales.

775
00:43:15,384 --> 00:43:16,051
No!

776
00:43:16,218 --> 00:43:18,846
We aren’t gonna change the course to see some whales,

777
00:43:18,846 --> 00:43:20,514
this isn’t make a wish foundation!

778
00:43:21,348 --> 00:43:23,392
Not even for me?

779
00:43:23,392 --> 00:43:24,768
No means no!

780
00:43:25,102 --> 00:43:27,479
It would be violating the rules of the sea.

781
00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:29,940
Look Captain,

782
00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:33,944
I have come here to chew bubblegum and eat ass

783
00:43:33,944 --> 00:43:39,700
and due to my muscular condition I am unable to chew bubblegum.

784
00:43:39,700 --> 00:43:40,492
What do you mean by that?

785
00:43:40,492 --> 00:43:41,035
What did you say?

786
00:43:41,035 --> 00:43:42,036
Ahhh!

787
00:43:43,871 --> 00:43:45,080
Ahh what are you doing?

788
00:43:45,331 --> 00:43:47,207
Ahh! Your so strong!

789
00:43:47,207 --> 00:43:47,958
What is this?

790
00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:51,128
Its called muscular dystrophy.

791
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:57,426
Unbuckle your belt and show me your stern side big boy.

792
00:43:57,426 --> 00:44:00,304
That’s no place for a woman's head to be.

793
00:44:02,097 --> 00:44:04,183
Fish sticks for two.

794
00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:09,730
Woah I’ll take this boat anywhere you want to go.

795
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:13,275
Oh I didn’t know it was gonna be that kind of party.

796
00:44:15,235 --> 00:44:16,236
Men

797
00:44:16,445 --> 00:44:19,740
always thinking with their buttholes.

798
00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:21,533
That’s what mother used to tell me.

799
00:44:23,577 --> 00:44:25,120
Dickie, dickie!

800
00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:30,584
Wow, cock with a cock.

801
00:44:30,709 --> 00:44:32,461
And he’s circumcised.

802
00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:35,255
Cock on the loose! Cock on the loose!

803
00:44:35,255 --> 00:44:36,548
Woah goddamnit!

804
00:44:37,466 --> 00:44:39,593
When I’m feeling sad and lonely

805
00:44:39,593 --> 00:44:41,595
I just kiss my one and only

806
00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:44,390
standing by and faithful to the core.

807
00:44:45,391 --> 00:44:47,976
Suck it in and blow it out my crack pipe

808
00:44:47,976 --> 00:44:50,646
never screams or shouts thanks to her.

809
00:44:50,646 --> 00:44:52,439
I'm the top crackwhore.

810
00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:57,403
Sometimes I make love to iowaska.

811
00:44:57,611 --> 00:45:00,572
Sometimes mushrooms make my juices flow.

812
00:45:01,490 --> 00:45:04,618
Heroin can fuck me if I ask 'ya.

813
00:45:05,494 --> 00:45:08,872
Sing it out in Prospero’s top ho.

814
00:45:09,456 --> 00:45:12,418
There is nothing quite as whack as sucking dick

815
00:45:12,418 --> 00:45:13,377
and smoking crack.

816
00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:16,463
I’m just a junkie funky in despair.

817
00:45:17,464 --> 00:45:19,591
If I do my master’s bidding,

818
00:45:19,591 --> 00:45:21,510
and he conjures what's fitting

819
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:25,973
I’ll be freed from this wheelchair.

820
00:45:29,226 --> 00:45:31,311
Hello everyone, good evening and welcome.

821
00:45:31,478 --> 00:45:34,022
Live from public access Hollywood this

822
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:35,607
is Breaking Bard.

823
00:45:35,858 --> 00:45:38,986
We have assembled the world’s leading Shakespearian scholars.

824
00:45:40,028 --> 00:45:42,114
So what do you think of this movie?

825
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,241
It is absolutely crass,

826
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:46,034
juvenile and stupid.

827
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,369
Professor Bellgoodie

828
00:45:47,369 --> 00:45:49,163
I could not agree more.

829
00:45:49,329 --> 00:45:52,040
The greatest writer in history reduced to sex

830
00:45:52,124 --> 00:45:53,667
and bottley waste jokes.

831
00:45:53,917 --> 00:45:54,793
Shameful!

832
00:45:54,793 --> 00:45:56,503
Absolute poppycock.

833
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:58,714
Bow tie, fuck off!

834
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:02,801
This is the greatest adaptation of my work ever.

835
00:46:02,801 --> 00:46:05,679
I mean this is the first time they got it right.

836
00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:06,513
Really?

837
00:46:06,513 --> 00:46:07,514
Fuck yeah!

838
00:46:07,806 --> 00:46:11,935
Well, I find it deeply offensive and highly triggering.

839
00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:15,439
It's straight white sis males adapting the

840
00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:18,984
work of another straight white sis male.

841
00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:22,488
Have you ever even read William Shakespeare’s The Tempest?

842
00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:27,618
I have never read anything that wasn’t a blog or a menu!

843
00:46:27,618 --> 00:46:28,285
Lights.

844
00:46:29,161 --> 00:46:33,373
I am a plus sized woman with full sized opinions thank you.

845
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,293
Censorship a bitch man.

846
00:46:36,418 --> 00:46:38,670
Oh what fools these mortals be.

847
00:46:39,129 --> 00:46:39,671
Am I right, am I right?

848
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:40,339
Your right.

849
00:46:40,422 --> 00:46:42,883
Interesting story behind that line.

850
00:46:42,966 --> 00:46:46,637
So, Walter Raleigh and I were in a bar in Tijuana

851
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:49,264
doing a two shilling donkey show.

852
00:46:49,681 --> 00:46:52,518
There I was just sucking the cock of an ass

853
00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:56,647
and the crowd was cheering me on throwing money at me

854
00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:58,023
and I thought to myself

855
00:46:58,106 --> 00:46:59,983
“what fools these mortals be”.

856
00:47:00,442 --> 00:47:02,611
I mean I would have blown that donkey for free.

857
00:47:03,862 --> 00:47:05,823
The Bard is a fraud.

858
00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:07,533
Bacon!

859
00:47:07,533 --> 00:47:10,536
I’m Francis Bacon, and I wrote Shakespeare’s plays.

860
00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:11,620
All of them.

861
00:47:11,620 --> 00:47:13,247
Your a fucking liar.

862
00:47:15,332 --> 00:47:16,875
Let’s return to the movie.

863
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:19,336
Wait, wait.

864
00:47:19,336 --> 00:47:24,716
The white owners are making the black person do all the cleaning?

865
00:47:26,218 --> 00:47:28,554
Do jews count as white people?

866
00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:30,806
Most of the time.

867
00:47:31,473 --> 00:47:34,476
So how did you end up working here?

868
00:47:35,102 --> 00:47:36,728
It started long ago.

869
00:47:38,772 --> 00:47:40,983
This building was once owned by mother.

870
00:47:41,733 --> 00:47:44,027
It was the best crack house in Tromaville.

871
00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:47,406
One of the five best in all of New Jersey.

872
00:47:49,366 --> 00:47:53,579
Business was so good we had to stack the crackheads four high.

873
00:47:54,329 --> 00:47:59,960
But, it didn’t last long after 9/11 people weren’t smoking crack as much.

874
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,587
The boom had ended.

875
00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:04,089
Slowly fewer and fewer people came to get

876
00:48:04,089 --> 00:48:06,383
fucked up and pass out in our building.

877
00:48:07,009 --> 00:48:10,220
It got to the point that the only time anybody came in...

878
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:13,140
Can I use your bathroom?

879
00:48:13,307 --> 00:48:15,976
Twenty-five cents.

880
00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:17,728
Was to use our shit bucket.

881
00:48:20,230 --> 00:48:24,860
Oh god, sing it to the world, oh.

882
00:48:26,820 --> 00:48:30,115
An old Italian jew came by one day and asked to buy the place.

883
00:48:31,158 --> 00:48:32,743
My mom was thrilled.

884
00:48:33,702 --> 00:48:37,331
For an extra fifty dollars you can have her too.

885
00:48:38,248 --> 00:48:39,541
Then my momma told me.

886
00:48:40,125 --> 00:48:42,628
You belong to that nice jew man now baby.

887
00:48:43,128 --> 00:48:46,048
I’m gonna go and smoke some crack myself.

888
00:48:46,548 --> 00:48:48,467
I’ll be back for you sometime my girl.

889
00:48:48,717 --> 00:48:51,803
So, in the meantime keep this safe for me.

890
00:48:57,559 --> 00:49:00,771
And that, my little snowflakes,

891
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,689
was fifteen years ago.

892
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:05,359
I’m still waiting for my moms to come back.

893
00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:05,901
Wait.

894
00:49:06,234 --> 00:49:08,904
So, this Prospero owns you?

895
00:49:09,237 --> 00:49:10,113
I guess so.

896
00:49:10,489 --> 00:49:11,907
I mean, shit sucks

897
00:49:12,908 --> 00:49:16,036
The hose is over there you two go clean yourself off.

898
00:49:16,662 --> 00:49:20,207
Actual slave owning oh my god.

899
00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:23,377
Not to mention the gentrification of closing down

900
00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:25,003
a black owned crackhouse.

901
00:49:25,003 --> 00:49:26,004
Well wait.

902
00:49:26,755 --> 00:49:27,756
Prospero.

903
00:49:28,215 --> 00:49:30,133
Why does that name sound familiar?

904
00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:31,510
Oh my god!

905
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,721
That’s the sombrero pharmaceutical guy.

906
00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:37,641
He masturbated to a Japanese girl.

907
00:49:38,558 --> 00:49:38,976
Wait.

908
00:49:39,309 --> 00:49:42,980
The one social justice activist have told tales about

909
00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:46,066
from way back in the dark ages way before social media?

910
00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:46,733
Yes.

911
00:49:47,359 --> 00:49:49,903
You know what we must do.

912
00:49:57,119 --> 00:49:59,705
Here is how Bernie can still win the 2016 election...

913
00:50:03,041 --> 00:50:04,501
It's the snowflake signal.

914
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:05,752
Let's go!

915
00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:23,437
...And that is why I am proud to be a woman with HPV.

916
00:50:40,412 --> 00:50:41,496
Cheers!

917
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:45,876
I feel so strange.

918
00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:48,211
My breasts are so swollen.

919
00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:51,465
Mine too.

920
00:50:53,467 --> 00:50:54,468
What the fuck!?

921
00:50:58,138 --> 00:51:00,515
I think we just need to do more Tempest.

922
00:51:00,515 --> 00:51:02,059
I never felt like this before.

923
00:51:02,476 --> 00:51:03,477
What the fuck!?

924
00:51:07,105 --> 00:51:08,482
It burns then it gets good.

925
00:51:10,108 --> 00:51:12,736
Say do you feel a little strange?

926
00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:14,529
Like a little itchy?

927
00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:17,074
Yeah, my clam has been killing me all day.

928
00:51:17,783 --> 00:51:21,244
Yes, yes the tempest is kicking in.

929
00:51:21,244 --> 00:51:22,579
It's begins.

930
00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:25,665
Murder revenge, murder revenge.

931
00:51:26,249 --> 00:51:28,960
I can’t believe after all of these years

932
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,046
I finally met the man of my dreams.

933
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:32,380
Here.

934
00:51:35,550 --> 00:51:37,177
You're so wonderful.

935
00:51:37,677 --> 00:51:39,471
I can’t tell you how much I love you.

936
00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:45,435
You’ve licked my wick

937
00:51:45,435 --> 00:51:48,021
your face, your voice, your smell,

938
00:51:48,522 --> 00:51:50,607
the slight curve of your banana dick.

939
00:51:54,861 --> 00:51:55,695
Act Four:

940
00:51:56,113 --> 00:51:58,532
Hymen’s Lamps Shall Light the Way.

941
00:51:59,491 --> 00:52:00,909
You’re a mountain flower.

942
00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:03,578
I’m a fecal bloom.

943
00:52:07,791 --> 00:52:10,168
I can feel you growing.

944
00:52:10,168 --> 00:52:14,464
I’m spreading for you.

945
00:52:16,341 --> 00:52:19,136
I’ve been in New Jersey

946
00:52:20,762 --> 00:52:23,723
it hasn’t been fun.

947
00:52:25,100 --> 00:52:27,435
Now you're here with me

948
00:52:27,435 --> 00:52:30,355
and I think you're

949
00:52:30,355 --> 00:52:32,524
the one... two, three, four!

950
00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:38,697
It's a renaissance in my underpants.

951
00:52:39,614 --> 00:52:40,740
Yeah!

952
00:52:41,324 --> 00:52:47,080
It's a renaissance in my underpants.

953
00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:49,583
Oh yeah!

954
00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:57,591
A renaissance in my underpants.

955
00:52:58,717 --> 00:53:03,305
This shitstorm got me wet.

956
00:53:07,142 --> 00:53:10,187
This shitstorm got me wet.

957
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,445
This shitstorm got me...

958
00:53:18,445 --> 00:53:22,490
Moans

959
00:53:42,469 --> 00:53:44,012
Oh, Ferdinand!

960
00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,848
Ferdinand!

961
00:53:48,850 --> 00:53:51,645
Oh, I’m so in love.

962
00:53:52,145 --> 00:53:53,688
So much in love.

963
00:53:54,397 --> 00:53:56,942
With my Miranda.

964
00:53:56,942 --> 00:53:59,861
Let my heart sing out

965
00:54:00,195 --> 00:54:05,075
from every window and veranda.

966
00:54:05,283 --> 00:54:09,079
Than she, there’s nothing sweeter

967
00:54:09,329 --> 00:54:13,124
and she’s in pentameter.

968
00:54:13,291 --> 00:54:17,712
I know, wherever I go, I’ll feel a glow

969
00:54:17,712 --> 00:54:20,799
when I wank to my Miranda.

970
00:54:20,799 --> 00:54:21,466
Hey!

971
00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:34,145
I know wherever I go I’ll feel a glow

972
00:54:34,145 --> 00:54:40,610
when I bury sweet Miranda.

973
00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:45,365
Ferdinand, oh fuck me with your big hard cock.

974
00:54:45,365 --> 00:54:47,325
Thankfully my underwear was only full of blood, ahh!

975
00:54:47,617 --> 00:54:52,539
Fuck me with your big hard banana dick!

976
00:54:53,039 --> 00:54:54,416
Where else can I mastrubate?

977
00:54:55,041 --> 00:54:56,042
You can masturbate anywhere!

978
00:54:59,087 --> 00:55:01,423
I’m masturbating standing up!

979
00:55:14,769 --> 00:55:15,895
Who is it?

980
00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:17,147
It's Ferdinand.

981
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:22,485
Just a second I am brushing up on my braille.

982
00:55:28,450 --> 00:55:29,159
Hey there.

983
00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:29,784
Miranda?

984
00:55:31,661 --> 00:55:32,203
You're so fast.

985
00:55:33,538 --> 00:55:35,540
I just wanted to make sure you are okay

986
00:55:35,540 --> 00:55:38,668
and maybe we can go somewhere and talk or something.

987
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,003
I have a better idea.

988
00:55:40,003 --> 00:55:44,883
Why don’t we go downstairs and join the party?

989
00:55:47,385 --> 00:55:48,261
Oh thank you.

990
00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:49,721
What a gentleman.

991
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:51,306
After you.

992
00:55:51,681 --> 00:55:53,641
Probably shouldn’t be going first you know?

993
00:55:57,187 --> 00:55:58,980
Good sir, are you the Quaker Oats man?

994
00:55:58,980 --> 00:56:02,817
No, I’m Shylock. I’ve come to claim my pound of ass.

995
00:56:02,817 --> 00:56:04,486
You're in the wrong play moron!

996
00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:06,780
and its pounds of flesh, not ass.

997
00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:08,698
Anti-semite bastard.

998
00:56:14,329 --> 00:56:19,709
Sgt. Kabukiman

999
00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:21,461
Out! Out! Out!

1000
00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:28,051
NYPD... it's your destiny.

1001
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:30,929
Stop!

1002
00:56:32,097 --> 00:56:34,557
have I ever told you two how important you are to

1003
00:56:34,557 --> 00:56:36,476
Avonbard Incorporated?

1004
00:56:40,105 --> 00:56:41,106
Subtitles late.

1005
00:56:42,023 --> 00:56:43,024
Oh there it is.

1006
00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:45,610
Listen, listen carefully.

1007
00:56:46,736 --> 00:56:48,530
The whole purpose of this is to...

1008
00:56:54,369 --> 00:56:55,745
What’s in it for us?

1009
00:56:55,912 --> 00:56:58,081
Only forty percent of everything.

1010
00:57:01,751 --> 00:57:03,837
And Senator Sebastian will throw in a couple

1011
00:57:03,837 --> 00:57:06,631
of hand jobs for both of you, at the same time.

1012
00:57:06,631 --> 00:57:08,508
Yes, they're gonna be firm.

1013
00:57:14,806 --> 00:57:16,266
Okay.

1014
00:57:17,350 --> 00:57:19,602
Bet you I can kill him from here.

1015
00:57:25,024 --> 00:57:26,860
Aren’t throwing stars Japanese?

1016
00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:53,470
No!

1017
00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:55,638
I need more strippers!

1018
00:57:58,308 --> 00:58:00,059
More tempest.

1019
00:58:00,059 --> 00:58:01,895
You, with the boobies!

1020
00:58:03,354 --> 00:58:04,856
Cheers to you all!

1021
00:58:04,856 --> 00:58:06,691
Always keep your dignity.

1022
00:58:07,275 --> 00:58:08,276
Shakespeare.

1023
00:58:09,068 --> 00:58:10,069
Drink it buddy!

1024
00:58:10,069 --> 00:58:11,863
Drink it! Yes!

1025
00:58:13,198 --> 00:58:14,824
I just got waterboarded.

1026
00:58:15,158 --> 00:58:16,409
Guantanamo Bay.

1027
00:58:27,879 --> 00:58:30,965
Social justice warriors...

1028
00:58:30,965 --> 00:58:34,093
...come out to play.

1029
00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:41,184
Social justice warriors...

1030
00:58:41,184 --> 00:58:45,146
...come out to play!

1031
00:58:47,732 --> 00:58:48,816
Fellow warriors,

1032
00:58:49,150 --> 00:58:52,070
we gather here today to take down yet another oppressor

1033
00:58:52,070 --> 00:58:56,908
who dares to think, speak and act in ways we don’t approve of!

1034
00:58:57,492 --> 00:58:59,911
Come back here you cock- a doodle - douchebag!

1035
00:58:59,911 --> 00:59:00,912
Goddamnit!

1036
00:59:01,996 --> 00:59:05,041
We have with us here Caliban, a victim

1037
00:59:05,041 --> 00:59:08,795
of this sombrero appropriating monster.

1038
00:59:09,003 --> 00:59:12,382
Go ahead, Caliban, express your pain.

1039
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:16,928
So, Prospero bosses me around and shit.

1040
00:59:17,428 --> 00:59:21,266
He makes me separate the paper from the glass recyclables.

1041
00:59:21,266 --> 00:59:21,683
Crowd Gasp

1042
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:23,434
Classic white male!

1043
00:59:23,643 --> 00:59:26,729
White mansplaining how to recycle.

1044
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:27,605
Disgusting

1045
00:59:28,022 --> 00:59:30,775
Also, he makes jokes.

1046
00:59:30,775 --> 00:59:33,820
Oh no, racially insensitive jokes?

1047
00:59:33,945 --> 00:59:36,322
Nah, mostly fart jokes.

1048
00:59:36,322 --> 00:59:38,241
you know it's just not my kind of humor.

1049
00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:42,203
There is nothing funny about this world!

1050
00:59:42,203 --> 00:59:46,040
Fuck jokes, fuck jokes, fuck jokes….

1051
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:49,669
Also, technically he owns me.

1052
00:59:49,752 --> 00:59:53,840
We must destroy this man!

1053
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:54,340
Kill him!

1054
00:59:54,465 --> 00:59:58,595
Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!

1055
00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:02,515
Misery acquaints a nigger with some strange bedfellows.

1056
01:00:03,558 --> 01:00:05,560
Oh no the “n” word!

1057
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:06,269
Oh no!

1058
01:00:06,477 --> 01:00:09,689
I know it's yours to say because you technically have ownership

1059
01:00:09,689 --> 01:00:10,440
of that word,

1060
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,317
but its not ours to hear.

1061
01:00:12,317 --> 01:00:14,986
It's not ours to hear!

1062
01:00:14,986 --> 01:00:17,405
Get out of our ears “N” word.

1063
01:00:17,405 --> 01:00:21,784
Deep breaths, deep breaths, find the safe space inside,

1064
01:00:22,035 --> 01:00:23,745
find the safe space inside.

1065
01:00:24,537 --> 01:00:26,122
I don’t really know these niggers.

1066
01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:33,171
Oh wonder... how this goodly creature is now here.

1067
01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:35,298
How beauteous mankind is.

1068
01:00:35,298 --> 01:00:36,841
Oh brave new world.

1069
01:00:36,841 --> 01:00:38,468
That has such people in it.

1070
01:00:44,390 --> 01:00:45,391
Miranda.

1071
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:48,728
I need more strippers and drugs!

1072
01:00:48,936 --> 01:00:50,605
Tempest drugs!

1073
01:00:50,605 --> 01:00:53,191
I’m sorry I need to go help my father.

1074
01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:54,192
Okay.

1075
01:00:55,276 --> 01:00:57,320
I’m not quite done partying yet!

1076
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:58,738
Dad you have to stop.

1077
01:00:58,821 --> 01:01:01,407
Don’t tell your father what to do my boy!

1078
01:01:01,574 --> 01:01:03,159
I’m your boss.

1079
01:01:03,284 --> 01:01:05,036
And I do what I want!

1080
01:01:05,036 --> 01:01:09,916
I’ll fuck and snort everything in this club!

1081
01:01:10,208 --> 01:01:12,293
You are embarrassing yourself!

1082
01:01:12,460 --> 01:01:13,252
And me!

1083
01:01:13,544 --> 01:01:15,505
Daddy, I got the best news ever.

1084
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:18,299
I met the most wonderful guy and we're in love.

1085
01:01:18,716 --> 01:01:20,468
His name is Ferdinand.

1086
01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:24,347
Frankly I am beginning to have some reservations about Avonbard

1087
01:01:24,347 --> 01:01:27,767
and if Safespacia is really ethical to put on the market.

1088
01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:29,560
I’m not so sure it should have been approved.

1089
01:01:30,144 --> 01:01:33,147
I hate to break it to you Ferdinand

1090
01:01:33,398 --> 01:01:38,361
but nothing we market today is safe.

1091
01:01:38,778 --> 01:01:43,199
You're in love with the son of the man who destroyed my life!?

1092
01:01:43,324 --> 01:01:44,200
Oh, right.

1093
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:45,243
I forgot about that.

1094
01:01:45,243 --> 01:01:47,203
But, daddy he’s nothing like his father at all.

1095
01:01:47,412 --> 01:01:50,373
He’s so sweet and so funny and he smells so good.

1096
01:01:50,373 --> 01:01:52,333
And daddy his dick is shaped like a banana...

1097
01:01:52,333 --> 01:01:54,210
Hold on, hold your horses there.

1098
01:01:54,460 --> 01:01:56,796
Miranda you are not going out with that man.

1099
01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:58,965
I’m going to annihilate his family.

1100
01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:01,843
You're not interfering with my plan.

1101
01:02:03,511 --> 01:02:03,970
Now!

1102
01:02:04,470 --> 01:02:10,059
If you pardon... stop being such a hard-on.

1103
01:02:10,393 --> 01:02:11,394
My god.

1104
01:02:12,228 --> 01:02:15,857
Why do you foist such dangerous addictive drugs

1105
01:02:15,857 --> 01:02:17,650
onto an unknowing public!

1106
01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:19,193
Money!

1107
01:02:19,193 --> 01:02:22,238
Are you really quite so stupid?

1108
01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:25,408
We don’t care about these people’s wellbeing.

1109
01:02:25,783 --> 01:02:29,746
We just want to get them hooked and sky high.

1110
01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:34,584
And then have them repeat until they up and die.

1111
01:02:35,835 --> 01:02:39,255
The quality of mercy is not strained.

1112
01:02:39,922 --> 01:02:42,925
Open thy gate of mercy gracious god.

1113
01:02:44,844 --> 01:02:45,845
Be kind.

1114
01:02:47,513 --> 01:02:50,141
Mother of fuck, stop with that stupid Shakespeare

1115
01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:52,226
or I’ll slap your behind.

1116
01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:54,729
I can't see.

1117
01:02:55,313 --> 01:02:57,356
But, you're the one who’s blind.

1118
01:02:58,232 --> 01:03:01,819
Get thee to their room until this messy business ends.

1119
01:03:02,278 --> 01:03:04,322
I will have my brutal revenge.

1120
01:03:06,157 --> 01:03:07,575
A banana.

1121
01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:14,832
I thought deep down you were a decent man.

1122
01:03:15,958 --> 01:03:17,752
But, in truth you really are a monster.

1123
01:03:17,877 --> 01:03:18,711
Fuck you!

1124
01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:21,172
Stop being such a nag!

1125
01:03:21,714 --> 01:03:26,135
Get a life, stop acting like a fag!

1126
01:03:28,888 --> 01:03:32,141
I need more strippers!

1127
01:03:33,309 --> 01:03:36,312
Oh I like a girl who can’t run away.

1128
01:03:36,479 --> 01:03:38,147
Ta-da.

1129
01:03:39,857 --> 01:03:42,527
I’m head over wheels for you matey.

1130
01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:47,240
Act Five:

1131
01:03:47,573 --> 01:03:49,700
Unnatural though thou art.

1132
01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:54,247
Now is the winter of our discontent.

1133
01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:56,749
It's the best of times and the worst of times,

1134
01:03:56,749 --> 01:03:58,626
to put our plan into action.

1135
01:03:58,626 --> 01:03:58,918
Look.

1136
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:03,047
I must urinate.

1137
01:04:04,048 --> 01:04:05,591
Now, now, now come on.

1138
01:04:05,591 --> 01:04:07,635
Come on yes.

1139
01:04:12,139 --> 01:04:13,432
Hi Big Al.

1140
01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:16,018
Hi dear brother, how’s it going tonight?

1141
01:04:16,018 --> 01:04:20,022
Hey, is everybody in this place pissing green goo or is it just me?

1142
01:04:20,481 --> 01:04:22,400
Everybody.

1143
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,944
Oh good. Pretty great party right?

1144
01:04:25,152 --> 01:04:26,988
You better enjoy it my dear

1145
01:04:27,321 --> 01:04:32,076
because today is your last day as a living creature on this planet.

1146
01:04:32,118 --> 01:04:33,786
What are you talking about?

1147
01:04:35,621 --> 01:04:36,914
It's my time now.

1148
01:04:37,164 --> 01:04:39,876
I have been working all these years while you’ve been partying

1149
01:04:39,876 --> 01:04:44,005
and stuffing drugs down your gullet and fucking them whores.

1150
01:04:44,005 --> 01:04:46,173
I hate you, I'm taking over.

1151
01:04:46,340 --> 01:04:47,508
We’re gonna kill you.

1152
01:04:47,508 --> 01:04:48,551
We’re gonna kill you.

1153
01:04:48,551 --> 01:04:50,678
You think you’ll get away with that?

1154
01:04:50,845 --> 01:04:53,139
Oh yeah with a body full of drugs

1155
01:04:53,472 --> 01:04:56,809
beaten to death, strangled to death, head in the toilet

1156
01:04:56,809 --> 01:04:58,811
it's so common that no one can deny.

1157
01:04:58,811 --> 01:05:01,564
In New Jersey no one even bats an eye.

1158
01:05:01,564 --> 01:05:04,150
Yeah it's a Jersey thing.

1159
01:05:04,150 --> 01:05:05,735
Say goodbye to everything.

1160
01:05:07,695 --> 01:05:09,196
My vagina.

1161
01:05:13,367 --> 01:05:15,912
Muchacho

1162
01:05:18,956 --> 01:05:20,333
Prospero wins!

1163
01:05:20,333 --> 01:05:22,460
Here he comes you fuckers.

1164
01:05:22,585 --> 01:05:25,922
Let him remain the master of his time.

1165
01:05:25,922 --> 01:05:27,632
Yeah here I come.

1166
01:05:31,177 --> 01:05:34,305
The croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.

1167
01:05:34,305 --> 01:05:38,267
Oh I’m gonna kill all these pharmaceutical douchebags.

1168
01:05:38,267 --> 01:05:40,394
I got my brand new nikes on

1169
01:05:40,394 --> 01:05:45,024
and my Kazakhstan heirloom robe and I’m gonna kill them all.

1170
01:05:47,026 --> 01:05:49,570
I can’t believe daddy telling me

1171
01:05:49,570 --> 01:05:51,906
I can’t be in love.

1172
01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:53,741
What a dick move.

1173
01:05:53,741 --> 01:05:57,578
We need to realize we're not our dads

1174
01:05:57,954 --> 01:06:00,915
We must be better than those nasty cads.

1175
01:06:02,249 --> 01:06:04,001
And hear this Avonbard

1176
01:06:04,335 --> 01:06:05,002
I quit.

1177
01:06:06,087 --> 01:06:08,130
My dad can run this business into shit.

1178
01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:13,427
I would not wish for any companion in the world but you.

1179
01:06:21,185 --> 01:06:22,186
Coughs

1180
01:06:22,186 --> 01:06:22,770
Sorry.

1181
01:06:24,981 --> 01:06:25,982
Coughs

1182
01:06:41,497 --> 01:06:42,206
Oh!

1183
01:06:44,583 --> 01:06:46,085
What’s happening to us?

1184
01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:52,216
It's time now for brutal vengeance.

1185
01:06:57,138 --> 01:06:59,932
What's past is prologue!

1186
01:07:03,769 --> 01:07:06,939
What's past is prologue!

1187
01:07:09,775 --> 01:07:12,611
What’s past is fucking prologue!

1188
01:07:12,611 --> 01:07:13,821
Prospero.

1189
01:07:13,821 --> 01:07:16,032
Look I’m trying to unveil my masterplan

1190
01:07:16,032 --> 01:07:18,117
and your equipment keeps fucking up.

1191
01:07:18,117 --> 01:07:20,286
This is very very embarrassing.

1192
01:07:20,578 --> 01:07:21,787
ho-hold on everybody.

1193
01:07:24,623 --> 01:07:28,461
Huzzah! Tis I, tis I who is beckoning.

1194
01:07:28,794 --> 01:07:32,882
Times up and now welcome to your final reckoning.

1195
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:36,385
That is the shittiest couplet I have heard and I am out of here.

1196
01:07:37,094 --> 01:07:38,095
Your fired.

1197
01:07:38,554 --> 01:07:41,974
You scum soaked douchebags.

1198
01:07:41,974 --> 01:07:43,559
You ruined my work

1199
01:07:43,559 --> 01:07:44,894
and all the rest.

1200
01:07:45,061 --> 01:07:49,065
You destroyed everything I believed in even my name.

1201
01:07:49,065 --> 01:07:53,527
Well, I’ve created something that is besting it.

1202
01:07:53,569 --> 01:07:55,571
It's called Tempest.

1203
01:07:56,781 --> 01:07:59,867
Sadly there are some bad side effects.

1204
01:07:59,867 --> 01:08:02,578
But, thank you all for testing it.

1205
01:08:03,788 --> 01:08:07,291
Nooooo!

1206
01:08:10,419 --> 01:08:12,630
So, in Shakespeare’s play, Ariel represents

1207
01:08:13,422 --> 01:08:14,423
water and air.

1208
01:08:14,423 --> 01:08:16,133
Nooooo!

1209
01:08:16,133 --> 01:08:17,134
Oh god oh.

1210
01:08:18,094 --> 01:08:20,679
Oh, I suppose you want to go and help your father.

1211
01:08:22,014 --> 01:08:23,933
I’ve spent my life trying to please the man.

1212
01:08:24,391 --> 01:08:26,477
And take good care of him and now I’m done.

1213
01:08:27,978 --> 01:08:30,314
I just want to be with you Miranda.

1214
01:08:39,281 --> 01:08:43,035
Sorry, but when there’s a private party, nobody crosses this line.

1215
01:08:43,244 --> 01:08:47,414
Listen, we really respect you doing your job but you need to let us in.

1216
01:08:47,540 --> 01:08:50,543
There’s a man in there who says things we don’t like

1217
01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:54,088
and he needs to be publicly executed by an angry mob.

1218
01:08:55,714 --> 01:08:56,340
Alright.

1219
01:08:56,841 --> 01:08:57,591
Go on in.

1220
01:08:57,591 --> 01:08:59,218
Yeah!

1221
01:09:06,559 --> 01:09:09,645
Yep, these are the times that try men’s souls.

1222
01:09:10,563 --> 01:09:11,438
They.

1223
01:09:12,606 --> 01:09:14,859
They shall be hunted soundly.

1224
01:09:15,276 --> 01:09:19,405
And so should the rest of you phony pharmaceutical fuck heads.

1225
01:09:19,905 --> 01:09:24,451
At this hour lie at my mercy oh my enemies.

1226
01:09:24,618 --> 01:09:27,496
Prospero it isn’t what you thought.

1227
01:09:27,496 --> 01:09:28,956
It isn’t what you thought.

1228
01:09:28,956 --> 01:09:29,957
Have mercy.

1229
01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:35,045
Soon all my labor shall be done.

1230
01:09:35,504 --> 01:09:38,674
And thou dear reader shall breath the air of freedom.

1231
01:09:39,633 --> 01:09:40,634
But you,

1232
01:09:40,634 --> 01:09:44,096
you all will have a taste of your own medicine.

1233
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:47,600
You’ll have your own big Pharma!

1234
01:09:52,354 --> 01:10:44,156
(Music)

1235
01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:47,534
I know wherever I go...

1236
01:10:51,497 --> 01:11:07,429
(Music)

1237
01:11:08,138 --> 01:11:12,977
Let’s turn Senator cunt into Senator Vagina!

1238
01:11:12,977 --> 01:11:13,978
No forgiveness!

1239
01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:19,275
Yes!

1240
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:21,610
Looks like we got a squirter!

1241
01:11:35,082 --> 01:11:35,874
It's amazing.

1242
01:11:37,167 --> 01:11:40,462
I believe we have reached the end of life's great journey.

1243
01:11:51,390 --> 01:11:58,939
(Singing)

1244
01:12:01,650 --> 01:12:04,028
String section, oboes.

1245
01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:05,779
Yeah, full orchestra!

1246
01:12:05,779 --> 01:12:08,741
Yes, yes, yes!

1247
01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:14,621
That’s gruesome.

1248
01:12:15,497 --> 01:12:17,875
That’s more gruesome than my mother-in-law.

1249
01:12:25,799 --> 01:12:28,177
I’m feeling discomfort.

1250
01:12:28,302 --> 01:12:31,805
Before now the worst thing I ever experienced was mean words.

1251
01:12:32,806 --> 01:12:33,599
Oh no!

1252
01:12:33,974 --> 01:12:36,769
Trini are you mutating too?

1253
01:12:36,977 --> 01:12:37,686
Kind of.

1254
01:12:37,978 --> 01:12:39,188
After seeing all this,

1255
01:12:39,271 --> 01:12:41,106
I realize there are worse things in the world than

1256
01:12:41,106 --> 01:12:43,359
inappropriate jokes or halloween costumes.

1257
01:12:43,609 --> 01:12:46,236
I’ve gained perspective.

1258
01:12:46,236 --> 01:12:47,237
Oh no.

1259
01:12:47,738 --> 01:12:49,156
Are you dying?

1260
01:12:49,239 --> 01:12:49,990
Yes.

1261
01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:50,991
Yes I am.

1262
01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:55,204
No social justice warrior can survive perspective.

1263
01:12:55,204 --> 01:12:57,039
We are just too damn trivial.

1264
01:12:58,707 --> 01:13:00,709
Hashtag me in your memories.

1265
01:13:09,176 --> 01:13:13,347
Oh I get it we’re all supposed to learn a lesson from that right?

1266
01:13:13,430 --> 01:13:17,601
Being outraged all the time is shallow and lacks perspective.

1267
01:13:17,726 --> 01:13:20,187
We all act like entitled children.

1268
01:13:20,270 --> 01:13:22,606
Well, let me explain to all you people,

1269
01:13:23,607 --> 01:13:25,692
why none of this is funny.

1270
01:13:40,582 --> 01:13:42,251
(Moans)

1271
01:13:45,337 --> 01:13:46,338
Hakuna.

1272
01:13:46,338 --> 01:13:47,339
Matata.

1273
01:13:47,339 --> 01:13:48,048
Hakuna.

1274
01:13:48,048 --> 01:13:48,674
Matata.

1275
01:13:48,882 --> 01:13:49,842
Hakuna.

1276
01:13:49,842 --> 01:13:50,551
Matata.

1277
01:13:50,843 --> 01:13:51,593
Hakuna.

1278
01:13:51,802 --> 01:13:52,719
Matata.

1279
01:13:58,142 --> 01:13:58,976
Hakuna.

1280
01:13:58,976 --> 01:13:59,977
Matata.

1281
01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:18,745
Nice.

1282
01:14:26,253 --> 01:14:31,550
And you my traitorous sack of shit sister, any final words?

1283
01:14:31,550 --> 01:14:33,677
Oh, it cannot end like this.

1284
01:14:33,677 --> 01:14:34,052
Oh.

1285
01:14:34,052 --> 01:14:37,389
I was the first woman to be vice president of this corporation.

1286
01:14:37,389 --> 01:14:41,185
I was the first woman to embezzle five hundred million dollars.

1287
01:14:41,477 --> 01:14:45,272
I was the first woman to have the US congressman assassinated.

1288
01:14:45,397 --> 01:14:50,277
All I have to do is persist and then reclaim my time.

1289
01:14:50,736 --> 01:14:54,239
For a woman like me the sky’s the limit.

1290
01:14:58,118 --> 01:15:00,120
Klaatu barada nikto!

1291
01:15:04,041 --> 01:15:06,877
Bippity Boppity Boo Bitch!

1292
01:15:10,756 --> 01:15:15,469
A glass ceiling shattered on her.

1293
01:15:15,677 --> 01:15:17,638
Ha ha ha ha...

1294
01:15:18,013 --> 01:15:20,224
That’s irony.

1295
01:15:34,530 --> 01:15:36,406
Prospero!

1296
01:15:38,325 --> 01:15:45,582
For all I’ve done to thee I offer my sincere apology.

1297
01:15:45,916 --> 01:15:51,797
Avonbard from this day forward will aim to cure man’s problems

1298
01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:54,007
not to add to them.

1299
01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:57,219
Please just let me live.

1300
01:15:57,678 --> 01:16:05,727
And then you will see I will make the world a better place to be.

1301
01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:09,356
You expect me to forgive you after all you’ve done?

1302
01:16:10,190 --> 01:16:11,149
Nigga please.

1303
01:16:11,233 --> 01:16:11,858
Daddy?

1304
01:16:12,526 --> 01:16:13,277
Miranda.

1305
01:16:13,277 --> 01:16:14,027
Dad?

1306
01:16:14,570 --> 01:16:15,862
Look daddy.

1307
01:16:16,738 --> 01:16:18,865
Miranda where’s your cane?

1308
01:16:19,032 --> 01:16:22,244
And your skirt it’s not shit-stained.

1309
01:16:22,327 --> 01:16:23,203
What happened?

1310
01:16:23,579 --> 01:16:25,080
Daddy I can see!

1311
01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:27,332
My vision’s clear.

1312
01:16:28,041 --> 01:16:30,335
True love has fixed my sight.

1313
01:16:30,794 --> 01:16:34,965
Or else in truth Ferdinand has fucked the blindness out.

1314
01:16:37,175 --> 01:16:40,262
We’re in love and want so much to marry.

1315
01:16:40,887 --> 01:16:43,473
And now I see so well that I can wipe.

1316
01:16:43,473 --> 01:16:44,474
(Farts)

1317
01:16:44,808 --> 01:16:47,853
Please dad with Big Al smoke the peace pipe.

1318
01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:48,604
Please.

1319
01:16:48,604 --> 01:16:49,605
Please.

1320
01:17:25,766 --> 01:17:26,600
Silly.

1321
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:27,309
Ferdinand

1322
01:17:27,976 --> 01:17:30,729
Your love has given my daughter back her sight.

1323
01:17:31,063 --> 01:17:33,565
Something I probably should have helped with years ago.

1324
01:17:33,732 --> 01:17:36,735
But, instead I focused on brutal vengeance.

1325
01:17:37,361 --> 01:17:40,030
I know I used to laugh when you’d fall down the stairs

1326
01:17:40,238 --> 01:17:42,240
and slip on banana peels and stuff.

1327
01:17:42,783 --> 01:17:48,080
But, please remember for me, New Jersey has been fucking rough.

1328
01:17:48,830 --> 01:17:51,124
And you Mr. Safespacia

1329
01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,960
you shall live if you amend your ways.

1330
01:17:53,960 --> 01:17:56,296
(Crowd cheers)

1331
01:17:56,296 --> 01:17:59,257
Your just lucky our children enjoy boning each other out.

1332
01:18:00,842 --> 01:18:03,512
Protester fucks and you the media,

1333
01:18:03,845 --> 01:18:06,431
you never listened to me when I tried to help you.

1334
01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:09,101
Your just third rate bloggers all of you

1335
01:18:09,142 --> 01:18:13,563
trying to make your bones on twitter hate and clickbait.

1336
01:18:13,730 --> 01:18:16,483
You get so angry at the appropriation of cultures

1337
01:18:16,483 --> 01:18:19,986
that all you do is drive a wedge further between us.

1338
01:18:19,986 --> 01:18:21,738
We don’t need Safespacia

1339
01:18:21,738 --> 01:18:24,741
we just need to embrace all our differences.

1340
01:18:25,158 --> 01:18:26,201
It's only,

1341
01:18:26,201 --> 01:18:28,745
only when we all join together

1342
01:18:29,037 --> 01:18:32,457
that we can achieve the full potential of humanity.

1343
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:35,627
And that’s why I’ve created this wonderful drug

1344
01:18:36,086 --> 01:18:38,171
that appropriates the best

1345
01:18:38,630 --> 01:18:39,548
of gender,

1346
01:18:39,965 --> 01:18:40,549
of race,

1347
01:18:41,216 --> 01:18:43,552
and nationality!

1348
01:18:47,597 --> 01:18:49,391
Excuse me, old jew coming through.

1349
01:18:49,391 --> 01:18:51,476
Old jew coming through.

1350
01:18:51,977 --> 01:18:52,477
Hey folks.

1351
01:18:53,228 --> 01:18:55,355
Allow me to... disrobe.

1352
01:18:55,689 --> 01:18:59,943
So I can show you what is underneath dis' robe.

1353
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,661
Ta-da!

1354
01:19:09,828 --> 01:19:10,662
You see?

1355
01:19:11,037 --> 01:19:16,543
I now have the properties of every race and culture on earth.

1356
01:19:17,419 --> 01:19:19,504
The brain of a jew.

1357
01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:20,756
Ooh

1358
01:19:22,382 --> 01:19:23,592
Mazel tov.

1359
01:19:23,925 --> 01:19:27,679
The literary skills of Russian.

1360
01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:32,058
The body of a German

1361
01:19:33,226 --> 01:19:34,227
Shepard

1362
01:19:35,395 --> 01:19:36,396
The gorgeous ass

1363
01:19:37,939 --> 01:19:38,940
of a Latina.

1364
01:19:42,486 --> 01:19:46,531
The small tight perfect pussy

1365
01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:48,408
of an Asain.

1366
01:19:48,408 --> 01:19:50,577
Oh my god I wish I were blind again.

1367
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:53,205
To thine own self be true.

1368
01:19:53,205 --> 01:19:54,998
Claps

1369
01:19:54,998 --> 01:19:56,208
And of course

1370
01:19:56,541 --> 01:19:58,835
the penis of a black man.

1371
01:20:00,587 --> 01:20:01,338
The rhythm

1372
01:20:03,006 --> 01:20:04,174
of a black man.

1373
01:20:05,342 --> 01:20:07,093
The athletic ability

1374
01:20:07,093 --> 01:20:08,386
of a black man.

1375
01:20:12,098 --> 01:20:14,851
The skin tone and credit score

1376
01:20:15,101 --> 01:20:16,102
of a caucasian.

1377
01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:17,437
That will help.

1378
01:20:17,938 --> 01:20:18,438
And

1379
01:20:18,688 --> 01:20:20,565
the piece de resistance

1380
01:20:21,149 --> 01:20:23,068
a wonderful dwarf’s hand

1381
01:20:23,193 --> 01:20:25,445
to help me do what I need to do.

1382
01:20:25,862 --> 01:20:29,449
I am now the ultimate in appropriation.

1383
01:20:29,449 --> 01:20:30,200
(Clapping)

1384
01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:34,204
Wait, so you're saying you identify as everything?

1385
01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:37,666
That you’ve... transitioned?

1386
01:20:37,916 --> 01:20:39,501
Well yes but I...

1387
01:20:39,501 --> 01:20:41,002
You're so brave.

1388
01:20:42,128 --> 01:20:47,676
So brave, so brave, so brave…

1389
01:20:47,676 --> 01:20:50,303
Wait a minute you're supposed to be triggered.

1390
01:20:50,303 --> 01:20:53,056
I’m not brave, I’m a raged filled psychopath.

1391
01:20:53,306 --> 01:20:55,308
Do not put me on a pedestal.

1392
01:20:55,308 --> 01:20:57,018
Hey wait, no, no, no.

1393
01:20:57,018 --> 01:20:58,019
Wait a minute.

1394
01:20:58,019 --> 01:21:01,106
(Screams)

1395
01:21:07,654 --> 01:21:11,533
Appropriating different races, nationalities and genders…

1396
01:21:11,533 --> 01:21:13,827
The action just keeps getting hotter, primetime

1397
01:21:13,827 --> 01:21:15,245
Sam Roberts back here

1398
01:21:15,245 --> 01:21:18,373
with the ultimate appropriator Prospero.

1399
01:21:18,373 --> 01:21:20,000
Let me just say what a thrill it is

1400
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:22,085
to have an American hero in the White House today.

1401
01:21:22,335 --> 01:21:26,256
Mr. Prosperoh Prospect Park, Prospero you're a great guy.

1402
01:21:27,090 --> 01:21:28,758
So brave.

1403
01:21:29,301 --> 01:21:31,177
Wow, he’s so hot.

1404
01:21:31,553 --> 01:21:32,554
He’s so inclusive.

1405
01:21:52,490 --> 01:21:54,034
We are gonna give you a natural look

1406
01:21:54,034 --> 01:21:55,535
with some drama in the eyes.

1407
01:21:55,702 --> 01:21:57,120
Its very on brand.

1408
01:21:57,245 --> 01:21:58,246
Five minutes everyone.

1409
01:21:58,622 --> 01:22:00,457
Your back hair is on fleek.

1410
01:22:00,707 --> 01:22:01,207
Thank you.

1411
01:22:02,834 --> 01:22:04,628
Our revels now are ended.

1412
01:22:05,462 --> 01:22:09,257
These our actors, As I foretold you, were spirits

1413
01:22:09,716 --> 01:22:11,509
and Are melted into air now,

1414
01:22:11,676 --> 01:22:12,636
into thin air.

1415
01:22:13,470 --> 01:22:16,723
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision

1416
01:22:17,223 --> 01:22:22,812
The cloud-capp'd towers, The solemn temples, the gorgeous palaces

1417
01:22:22,812 --> 01:22:25,357
the great globe itself, Yea,

1418
01:22:25,482 --> 01:22:28,193
all which it inherit, shall dissolve,

1419
01:22:28,652 --> 01:22:32,113
And like this insubstantial pageant faded

1420
01:22:32,447 --> 01:22:37,285
Leave not even a tricked out wheelchair behind.

1421
01:22:41,039 --> 01:22:44,417
Thank you for freeing me Prospero.

1422
01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:49,673
Now I know what I must do.

1423
01:22:55,679 --> 01:22:59,349
(Moans)

1424
01:22:59,808 --> 01:23:02,352
Prospero was true to his word

1425
01:23:02,352 --> 01:23:05,814
and set me free from wheelchair confinement.

1426
01:23:06,064 --> 01:23:09,275
And now you must be true to your word

1427
01:23:09,275 --> 01:23:11,611
and help save humanity.

1428
01:23:13,113 --> 01:23:15,532
Now open wide my love.

1429
01:23:18,910 --> 01:23:20,620
Ooh, What a honeymoon!

1430
01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:25,792
It's so beautiful.

1431
01:23:26,626 --> 01:23:28,837
Everybody got a happy ending but me.

1432
01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:31,840
The black guy don’t ever get a happy ending.

1433
01:23:33,258 --> 01:23:35,135
But, at least I didn’t get killed off.

1434
01:23:36,052 --> 01:23:37,345
Caliban?

1435
01:23:38,138 --> 01:23:38,847
Momma?

1436
01:23:39,764 --> 01:23:41,558
You came back for me.

1437
01:23:45,478 --> 01:23:48,982
Oh yes baby momma took a spiritual journey

1438
01:23:48,982 --> 01:23:50,442
and found herself.

1439
01:23:50,984 --> 01:23:52,736
I even wrote a book about it.

1440
01:23:56,573 --> 01:23:57,699
I was looking for that.

1441
01:23:59,951 --> 01:24:01,494
I always thought that was a little

1442
01:24:02,162 --> 01:24:02,662
flute.

1443
01:24:07,917 --> 01:24:08,960
Looks good ladies.

1444
01:24:11,087 --> 01:24:13,048
Oprah’s ready for you Mr. Prospero.

1445
01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:19,012
We are such stuff as dreams are made on

1446
01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:21,598
and our little life

1447
01:24:22,223 --> 01:24:24,017
is rounded with a sleep.

1448
01:24:37,280 --> 01:24:40,575
Everybody give it up for our next guest: Prospero!

1449
01:24:44,704 --> 01:24:46,289
You know who my dad looks like?

1450
01:24:46,790 --> 01:24:47,373
Who?

1451
01:24:47,957 --> 01:24:48,958
Mel Brooks.

1452
01:25:38,258 --> 01:25:40,802
So, pretty fucking woke right?

1453
01:25:40,802 --> 01:25:42,595
I haven’t seen anything like it...

1454
01:25:43,054 --> 01:25:43,972
Fortunately.

1455
01:25:44,305 --> 01:25:46,432
So, I’ve clearly reached perfection,

1456
01:25:46,474 --> 01:25:49,018
it's time for me to shuffle off this mortal coil.

1457
01:25:50,728 --> 01:25:52,564
Peace out mother fuckers!

1458
01:27:44,968 --> 01:27:46,719
Told you I was a good dancer, huh Ferdinand?

1459
01:27:49,055 --> 01:27:49,555
Ferdinand?

1460
01:27:51,975 --> 01:27:52,433
Ferdinand?

1461
01:34:06,766 --> 01:34:07,850
What was that?

1462
01:34:14,815 --> 01:34:17,526
All is whale ends whale.