Coming!
Keep your PENIS on!
_ Yes? _ Yes?
Hello! It's me!
I mean, Madame and Monsieur, 'tis moi, Hiney, the Butler!
At your servicio!
You mean, you're a butler?
Clearly.
We don't have no butler.
Why don't you be our butler?
Why, thank you!
Good morning, children.
Shall we go to schoo-el?
All right, you little rocket scientists!
Who can solve the problem on the board?
Come on! Two... X... two!
Anyone? How about you, Chicken?
Four.
Huh? Uh, uh, one word.
Uh, uh, starts with, uh..."F"? Huh? Uh, uh...
Four, ma'am.
Well, slap me sideways!
That's right, Chicken!
Hey, you're not half as stupid as you look!
Hey, this "butler thing" aingt so bad.
Oh, Teacher?
May I please go to the little Cow's room?
No, no, no, no, no! That is why I am here.
You're all done, Mr. Cow!
Who would like to help me clean erasers?
Beat it!
'lay!
Nice kick, Hiney.
Just doing my job!
Cow wins!
Dinner is set-wed'.!
Oh, goodie! What are we having?
Pork butts and cheese!
With your per-miss-ee-own, I will now cut the meat!
Divert your eyes, ladies. This won't be pretty.
Are you really a butler?
Yes. Why do you ask?
Oh, no! No! Do not blink by yourselves!
Let me help you!
Blink.
Blink!
Storytime, children!
Look, Hiney.
I do not know how to break this to yous,
but kids today don't exactly go for this storytime stuff.
Oh, well, I have taken this into account
and have found an agreeable compromise.
He refuted those allegations,
and subsequently fled the state with his therapist in...
All right! Beat it, Walter!
I'm going to tell you a mystery.
We join Mr. Wretched on his journey through the Middle East.
Good morning, Mr. Wretched!
What's so good about it, Mr. McGirl?
Do you mind? I'm trying to eat!
He is visited by his butler, Hives, that evening.
Who the heck is it?
Why, it's me, Sir. Hives!
With your teeth!
It's open!
Is there anything else you would like, Sir?
Put it down and beat it!
That night, Hives is startled by a scream.
Sacre-bleu!
Why? Why?
Who perpetrated this heinous crime?
Was it his assistant, Mr. McGirl?
The young lovers? His butler, Hives?
Uh...?
Okay! Who done it?
Mr. McGirl?
No.
It was Hives, the butler who done it!
Yeah, but why?
I thought that Hives was such a nice man.
Who am I working for?
A bunch of simpletons?
Hives did it because the butler always "done it"!
Oh, I have had it up to here with you two...
dullards!
What is a "dullard?"
What?
Hiney looks silly.
What's so darn funny?
That does it!
Bedtime!
Boy, this is sure great having a butler!
You know what?
I would never put myself through this if you weren't so disgustingly rich.
Oh, that's pretty funny!
Yeah. We aingt rich!
You're... not?
No!
Mom? Dad?
Mom, Dad?
All right, come clean!
I heard the whole thing whilst eavesdropping
right outside that window!
You said, "|t is hard raising livestock."
And you said, "Well, at least we're wealthy!"
Oh, no, no, no, no! You misunderstood!
We said "healthy." Not "wealthy."
Healthy?
What kind of a scam can I pull if you guys are...
II Well, you shouldn't pull a scam at all!
It's wrong.
And what's more, it's illegal.
Really? Oh, yes.
Really.
Well, well, well, well, well!
Then I guess I'd just better be moving on.
See ya.
Door-to-door Butler. May I be of service?
I've just got to be me!
In the end.
Ninety-nine, one-hundred.
You know, a lot of people ask me,
"Cow? How do you keep your muzzle so soft and supple?"
Well, first I slather mayonnaise all over myself every night
so I will be soft and kind of pinkish.
And it makes my pinhairs stand out.
And pickle slices are a must for my beauty sleep.
You don't need pants for the victory dance,
'cause Baboon's better than Weasel.
LR. Baboon big star of cartoon.
I. M. Weasel.
LR. Baboon reigns king in his mind,
he's just a Baboon with a wiggle behind.
But round every comer he's likely to find...
I. M. Weasel!
LR. Running'.!
Dragon! Dragon!
Baboon?
Please closing fishy lips. |.R. hiding from dragon.
Heavens, that's not a real dragon!
This is the United States.
Real dragons only live in Sumatra and Brunei.
You mean we not in China?
Certainly not. This is Chinatown.
Chinatown is like China, only punier.
Come on, old man.
I'll take you to a little fast food restaurant
where we can get the best lard encrusted poultry cubes in town.
Excuse me, Dumpling.
Isn't that furry guy |.M. Weasel?
It's |.M. Weasel!
Weasel!
It's him!
It's America's favorite small mammal!
It's Weasel!
Hey, Weasel!
We love you!
I loves you, Weasel!
I love your show!
Sign my autograph for me!
Can I have an autograph? Oh, you smell good!
You should be President!
Sign this to my Mommy!
Sign my back!
Sign my face! My kids love your show!
|.R. wishing someone would asking |.R. for autograph.
Confucius say,
"Wishing is like poking your friend in his eye."
It's a lot easier if you have a good luck charm.
Confusion saying what?
Here. You buy this.
This is a lucky plastic monkey paw key chain.
It'll magically grant your wishes, as well as hold your keys.
Twenty dollars, please.
There you go, Sir. Have a nice day.
What ya doing, chum?
|.R. going to buy magic monkey paw.
Oh, you don't want that old thing.
Besides, you've already got two grubby monkey paws
at the ends of your own wrists!
I can wishing on own paws?
Preposterous.
|.R. wishing for autograph to sign!
Baboon! Sign my cast! Sign my cast!
Thank you!
LR. Wishing coming hue'.!
Coincidence.
LR. Wishing (or...
a gazillion dollars!
Now you really would be sorry if that wish came true.
A gazillion dollars is enough money to bury the planet.
Good grandma!
LR. Rich! LR. Filthy rich!
LR. Big spender!
A real million dollar bill!
You really do have magic paws!
You must take back that last wish!
You just jealous.
|.R. wishing to be taller... and handsome more.
No! Now |.R. too handsome!
|.R. wishing |.R. back to normal self.
Only with smaller butt.
Now LR. Hungry.
But |.R. all out of wishes.
You have another hand, you ninny.
Now, wish for something useful, like world peace.
Or a cure for stupidity.
No! |.R. wishing for coyote and cheese sandwich.
You wished for what?
Oh, it not cooked.
What |.R. wishing for most of all?
LR. Knowing!
|.R. wishing to be king of world!
No!
LR. King'.!
Please, |.R.! Stop wishing!
You'll destroy everything!
Shutting pie hole, peasant.
I wish you'd shut up!
Look what you've done.
I wish I'd never picked you for my sidekick.
Well, |.R., old sidekick.
I wonder what crazy adventures we'll have tonight?
Yep. It's just you and me, paper sack.
Oh, man. I wish this oaf loon were over.