﻿1
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,232
Ladies and gerbils!

2
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,631
Welcome to another edition
of "You Ben Pantced?"

3
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,080
And here's your host,

4
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:26,236
the handsome and
irresponsible Ben Pantced!

5
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,673
Oh, yay! Ben Pantced! Big money!

6
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,470
Hello!

7
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,438
Welcome to "You Ben Pantced?"

8
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,840
I knowl have.

9
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,598
And I'd like to introduce
my lovely co-star,

10
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,751
Miss Vanna Hiney!

11
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,231
Let's meet this
week's contestants!

12
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,993
Number One, what's your name?

13
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,354
And how much do I weigh?

14
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,238
<i>My name is Hem.</i>

15
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,711
And you weigh... three
hundred and fifty pounds!

16
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,269
Wrong! I'm a svelte one-sixty.

17
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,876
Okay, Number Two, your
name and occupation?

18
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,634
My name is Earl!
And I go to school!

19
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:07,869
Yeah, I'll bet!

20
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,520
Contestant Number
Three, what's your name?

21
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,352
And why are you here?

22
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,120
My name is Chicken.

23
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,510
And my mom and dad made me come!

24
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,151
Contestant Number
Four, what's your name?

25
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,958
And what have you
got in your hands?

26
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,396
My name is Cow. And
these are my udders!

27
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,190
You don't say?

28
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,675
Today's lucky winners
on "You Ben Pantced?"

29
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:38,231
Will take home Ben
Pantced Life Savings!

30
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:46,318
The losers must spin
the Penalty Wheel!

31
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,675
Contestant Number One?

32
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:49,194
That's me.

33
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:55,112
So, young man, you
have three seconds to...

34
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,840
pave a section of road...

35
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,039
paint a masterpiece!

36
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,758
And cook breakfast for
twelve hungry lumberjacks!

37
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,557
Time's up!

38
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:13,712
What does he have
to do, boys and girls?

39
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,199
Who cares?

40
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:19,035
That's right! Spin
the Penalty Wheel!

41
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,471
Big money! Big money!

42
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,591
Shin! Spin! Spin!

43
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,194
Come on! Come on!

44
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,273
Oh, no! Not "eat candy"?

45
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,478
Well, that ain't so
bad! I likes candy!

46
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:41,633
You won't be saying that in twenty
years when you have a mouthful of cavities!

47
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,753
Contestant... Number Two!

48
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:50,516
Count... the
"peas" in the jar...

49
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,353
tune a twelve string banjo,

50
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,511
and wrestle a alligator!

51
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,516
Time's up!

52
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,920
Shin! Spin! Spin!

53
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,151
I cannot watch!

54
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,876
Eat ice cream?

55
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,353
Oh, goodie! I like ice cream!

56
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,192
Well, he won't be so happy

57
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,999
when he gets that terrible
pain in the back of his head!

58
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,593
Like this.

59
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,760
Brain ache! Brain freeze!

60
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,392
Oh, I hate that!

61
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:39,790
Next!

62
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,917
Oh, that's you, Chicken!

63
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,399
<i>|</i> ain't playing!

64
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,994
Oh, Contestant Number Three?

65
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,151
Come on down!

66
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:52,313
Oh, but you could win
Ben Pantced's Life Savings!

67
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,040
If you're not in, you can't win.

68
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,839
It's a stupid game
and I ain't playing.

69
00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:58,920
Fine.

70
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,559
If you won't play the game,

71
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,759
then you have to spin
the Penalty Wheel!

72
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,037
Let me go! I don't
want to spin...!

73
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:09,872
Spin it!

74
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,316
Bite chocolate!

75
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,995
Geez, what kind
of penalty is that?

76
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,794
Well, you think you're so smart?

77
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:24,589
Every idiot knows that
chocolate is loaded with fat!

78
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,079
Stupid game.

79
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,754
Contestant Number Four!

80
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,036
That's me!

81
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,633
Are you ready, Number Four?

82
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,109
Oh, yes, Mr. Pantced!

83
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,670
Well, then let's get Pantced!

84
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,400
I hope there's no
more alligators.

85
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,313
Fly around the
world three times...

86
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,789
lift a ten ton truck
above your head...

87
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,671
and speak fluent Spanish!

88
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,478
Fluent Spanish?

89
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,155
And remember, you've
got only three seconds.

90
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:58,876
Oh, no!

91
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,270
I told ya this game was stupid!

92
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,119
What a minute!

93
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,511
Cow? Go find Super Cow!

94
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,476
Who?

95
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:12,558
Super Cow!

96
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,359
I hope you're ready, because...

97
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,440
where'd she go?

98
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,198
Viva Super Cow!

99
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,794
La Reina de los campeones!

100
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,440
Ahorra, vengo amigos!

101
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,636
Go, Super Cow!

102
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,111
Time's almost up!

103
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,793
Senor Pantced!

104
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,951
It's Super Cow!

105
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,559
He ganado!

106
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,836
Dame sus ahorros!

107
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,432
Congratulations!

108
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:52,356
You have won Ben
Pantced's Life Savings!

109
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,273
It's just a nickel!

110
00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,079
We've been pantced!

111
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,199
<i>Dye, Don Pankced'.!</i>

112
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,351
Now, now, Mr. Cow.

113
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,034
You don't want to hurt
the host of the show!

114
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:22,436
Hey, boys and girls!
Looks like it's time to...

115
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,239
Spin the Penalty Wheel!

116
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,395
Ladies and gentlemen,

117
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,199
the great poet and
thespian, Lance Sackless.

118
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,315
Hello.

119
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,711
To be a good actor, one,
of course, has to look good!

120
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,791
A smart costume is a must.

121
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:50,238
Notice howthis ruffly shirt
accentuates my talents.

122
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,557
<i>Thank you, Lance San-Mess.</i>

123
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,960
Mon plesure.

124
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,829
<i>You don't need pants
for the victory dance,</i>

125
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,434
<i>'cause Baboon's
better than Weasel.</i>

126
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,478
LR. Baboon <i>big</i> star of cartoon.

127
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,280
I. M. Weasel.

128
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,560
<i>LR. Baboon reigns
king in his mind,</i>

129
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,029
<i>he's just a Baboon
with a wiggle behind.</i>

130
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,158
<i>But round every comer
he's likely to find...</i>

131
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:23,718
I. M. Weasel!

132
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,154
Hurry up, Baboon!

133
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,197
You are nine hours late!

134
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,112
I am terribly cross with you.

135
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,635
Do you have anything
to say for yourself?

136
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,274
I was just... Nine hours!

137
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,670
Your work ethic is horrendous!

138
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,995
But LR... Do you not realize

139
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,835
that this may be the most important
day in the history of beach wear?

140
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,111
But |.R. trying... Oh, no!

141
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,760
I will not listen to any
of your lame excuses.

142
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,275
Here, just help me with the top.

143
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,231
What? No! You ninny!

144
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,231
It goes down here.

145
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,989
Fetching.

146
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,390
Now, let's get this
show on the road!

147
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,709
Are you ready to break
the world land speed record?

148
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,916
I.R.! I.R.!

149
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,872
Let's roll!

150
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,240
Hang on, |.R.!

151
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,551
We're about to revolutionize
the field of personal transportation!

152
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,714
Hold your breath, old man!

153
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,076
We're about to break
the sound barrier!

154
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,153
I've done it!

155
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,394
I've created cheap,
efficient transportation

156
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,118
in the form of a bikini!

157
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,111
|.M. Weasel!

158
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,034
Yeah! Me, too is so!

159
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,317
Well, anyhow,
we'll make millions!

160
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,755
Okay. Yeah!

161
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,469
<i>You can stop now,
LR. 'News done.</i>

162
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,079
Stop? |.R. can't stopping.

163
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,878
What do you mean you can't stop?

164
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,190
That what |.R.
trying to telling you.

165
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:29,717
|.R. being late cause |.R. not
being able to finding brakes.

166
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:30,835
We have no brakes?

167
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,718
But you not worrying.

168
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,236
|.R. stop the old fashioned way.

169
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:45,560
Hey!

170
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,469
Baboon!

171
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,831
Just steer me!

172
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,789
This is horrible! We just
keep going faster and faster!

173
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,317
And whosoever digs a tunnel
through the mountain first

174
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,799
will be declared the winner.

175
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,872
Whether it be John Thomas,
The Steel Driving Man...

176
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,236
or the Amazing Digging Machine.

177
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,312
Begin digging your
tunnels on my mark.

178
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:26,076
Ready? And... Look out!

179
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,911
Good thing |.R. wearing helmet!

180
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,230
I'm king of the world!

181
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:48,880
I'm sorry, boys.

182
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,270
There's nothing that modern
medicine can do for you.

183
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,680
I'm terribly sorry.

184
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,989
So, get out of here!

185
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,597
Oh, man, I'm good!

186
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,639
We just passed
the speed of smell!

187
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,394
Next is the speed of light!

188
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,278
What are after speed of light?

189
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,112
Any third grader knows that!

190
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,237
After the speed of light...

191
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,796
ls the speed of heavy.

192
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,518
What after that?

193
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,831
I suspect we're
about to find out.

194
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:32,873
Intriguing!

195
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,190
We have traveled
to another dimension!

196
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,271
This is amazing!

197
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,034
Were I not trapped
under six tons of rock...

198
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,516
I would certainly explore
this strange new dimension.

199
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,398
<i>Crash giving LR. Headache-mg.</i>

200
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:52,595
You think you're hurt?

201
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,957
I've almost certainly
fractured my butt gland!

202
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,999
Sweet jumping
mother of marmalade!

203
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,957
They're beautiful!

204
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,230
Baked hams in sky!

205
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,153
Greeting, non-ham life forms!

206
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:18,235
Congratulations on being the first
of your kind to reach our dimension.

207
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,789
What should |.R. doing?

208
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,989
Mother saying never to
talking to strange hams.

209
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,869
We are not really baked hams.

210
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,078
We have merely taken
on the shape of baked ham.

211
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:36,553
Your puny intellects could not
possibly comprehend our true form.

212
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:37,675
Marvelous!

213
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,239
Yummy!

214
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,319
Baboon! No!

215
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,279
Please! We are not real ham!

216
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:50,592
Your puny taste buds could not
possibly comprehend our true flavor.

217
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:54,469
We will happily share with
you the secrets of the universe.

218
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,871
We will reveal the secret
of the beginning of time.

219
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,873
We will tell you who
your real father is.

220
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,636
And let you see the winning lottery
numbers for the next billion years.

221
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,031
But first, we will get
that heavy rock off of you.

222
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,957
Oh, thank you! I
feel much better.

223
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,638
We are terribly sorry,

224
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:34,430
but we cannot possibly share our
secrets with anyone who dresses like you!

225
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,990
But I... But this... I am sorry.

226
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,959
Bikinis went out with
positron bell bottoms.

227
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,439
Tah-tah!

228
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,393
Hams being right.

229
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:49,519
You are looking
funny with bikini on!

230
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,953
Well, I guess it could
have been worse.

231
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,696
Who knows what those
Hams would have done to us

232
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,597
if I had been wearing this?

233
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:56,880
What?

