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Welcome back to Greendale,
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now ranking fifth on Colorado's
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00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:08,797
alphabetical listing
of community colleges.
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Rest in peace, Bad Boy
Slim's DJ School.
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This school owes its continued
existence to the following heroes.
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Jeff Winger, a teacher so
dedicated to clean energy,
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he's already parking like
his car is electric.
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Britta Perry, currently raising
awareness of homelessness,
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00:00:27,404 --> 00:00:29,215
not that she has a choice.
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Abed Nadir, who actually wrote
this announcement for the sake of,
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as he put it,
catching everyone up.
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And Annie Edison who led the effort to save
Greendale from 534 critical emergencies.
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534?
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[MUSIC]
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[SOUND]
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Frisbee!
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[SOUND]
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[MUSIC]
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Hey Leonard, what, are you
gonna Bogart the disc all day?
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[MUSIC]
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[SOUND]
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Like
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tears in rain.
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What?
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[MUSIC]
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Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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I can't believe
the roof collapsed.
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- We almost killed Fat Neil.
- That was Garrett.
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See, we're monsters.
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Okay, if they blame us for
this, let me take the heat.
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I'd never see
the inside of a cell.
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I have been reliving this day over
and over for a thousand years.
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Guys, this is not on us.
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That roof was gonna collapse, 80%
of the rubble was styrofoam.
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Speaking of guilt,
where's Shirley?
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You didn't tell him?
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I was waiting until
we were all together.
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Abed's not comfortable
with C-H-A-N-G-E.
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Hey, screw you.
I can spell.
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Screw you.
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Is Shirley gone?
Did she spin off?
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Nobody spins off in
real life, Abed.
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Shirley went to look
after her dad in Atlanta
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and ended up taking a job
as a personal chef to a brilliant,
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but troubled Southern detective.
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I told her I'd manage her
sandwich shop while she's gone.
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Oh, that's very generous of you.
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I have a friend in town, every time
you're gonna need help with that.
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- She'll be back.
- [LAUGH] Like Troy?
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Are any of you white people noticing
what's happening to this group?
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Do Abed and I need
to be concerned?
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You have my word, as leader of the white
people there's no cause for alarm.
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Say hello to new Shirley.
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[LAUGH] Just kidding.
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This is Francesca Dart.
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I have brought her on as an
administrative consultant.
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I thought it would be fun,
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and mandatory for you to add
her to your little committee.
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Why, because one roof collapsed?
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No, God, God no.
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I'm your friend bringing
you a new friend,
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one with training in
not collapsing roofs.
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Is she, excuse me, ma'am.
Is she above us or below us?
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She is, woop!
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[LAUGH]
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I'm getting a call, here,
and I'll have to take it.
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Frankie, why don't you explain
what your role will be,
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while I leave to take this call.
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My phone is vibrating,
but it is...
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In your office, which
you didn't realize,
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00:04:25,351 --> 00:04:27,346
when you started the fake
phone call move.
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- My phone is in my pocket, Jeffrey.
- Mm.
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I'm walking away, so I can
get it out and answer it.
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Let me know how it goes.
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Okay, I'll just
have a seat and...
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- No! - Hey!
- No! No, no, no!
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Our friend use to sit there.
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She spun off.
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I'm sorry, what about here?
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00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,891
- Yeah, I guess that's okay.
- That's cool.
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00:04:49,554 --> 00:04:51,057
Okay, so,
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I took an informal survey to get
a sense of how Greendale is perceived.
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And three themes emerged;
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Weird, passionate and gross.
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Now you want to hang
onto that grouping.
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In marketing, it's what
we call the Good Belushi.
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If I had a magic wand,
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I would use it to make sure
Greendale never had to grow up.
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00:05:11,171 --> 00:05:14,179
I would also probably use it
to cut the Magic Wand class
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that I noticed is
actually offered here,
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as well as VCR Repair,
a class called Ladders,
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and When is it Okay
to Shake a Baby?
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In terms of hierarchy, I'm
a big believer in it.
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Someone needs to say, I'm in
charge, and that person is me.
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That's my decision.
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That doesn't mean that
we don't work together,
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but all communication
and decisions will go through me.
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I'll send out an email later
to set up our next meeting.
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- Awesome. - Okay.
- Great seeing you, Professor.
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Yeah. Coolios.
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- Who in the crazy bitch?
- Did that just happen?
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Did you see her binder?
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[LAUGH]
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- Pretty nondescript.
- Seems like she may be trouble.
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To be fair, she's an additional
white person,
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which has clearly
become important here.
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No, thank you.
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I-I'm just glad I was
able to answer.
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My-My phone got
lodged in my pocket.
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I know!
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I guess that is a thing.
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00:06:06,604 --> 00:06:09,236
So, you were saying
about the thing,
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the reason you were calling was,
what were you talking to me about?
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[MUSIC]
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Looks good, Tony.
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I'm sorry, I just assume
your name is Tony.
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Here you go.
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I gave you some extra heat.
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Britta, what is the weekly
cost of this restaurant?
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Oh, that's easy.
My dignity.
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00:06:29,914 --> 00:06:33,095
Seems like this sandwich counter
is consuming your happiness
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and converting it into
burnt bread and debt.
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So?
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Frankie, hi.
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Um...
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someone removed all the liquor
from the faculty lounge.
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I'm sorry, I cannot legally
protect or insure a campus
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with free flowing booze.
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00:06:50,165 --> 00:06:53,179
Well, I can't teach with
free flowing sobriety.
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Is that true?
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Do you really think
you're an addict?
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No.
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Dean!
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Hello? Oh, oh, hey!
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- Yes, I can talk.
- Damn it.
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I am available anytime for you.
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Frankie, Frankie.
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Hi. I had an idea about how
to deelectrify the pool.
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Oh, that's already
been dealt with.
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00:07:17,292 --> 00:07:20,730
- Okay, well, then, there's...
- Oh, let's see.
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Done, done, deloused.
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Appraised, defused, rebuilt.
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De-peanut buttered,
debunked, spayed, neutered.
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Underway, resanctified,
plunged, deported and exhumed.
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Thank you.
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Oh, this is pretty.
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Huh.
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00:07:38,397 --> 00:07:40,874
I'm gonna name one of my
sandwiches after her.
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My sandwiches suck.
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She is improving Greendale.
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00:07:45,088 --> 00:07:47,987
Yeah, but how much can
you improve Greendale
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before it stops being Greendale?
153
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:53,016
She didn't suffer
for this place.
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She doesn't understand it.
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She's gonna end up messing
with something that...
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00:07:57,938 --> 00:07:59,218
Abed.
157
00:07:59,232 --> 00:08:03,605
Temporal mutation
in English, Doc.
158
00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:09,061
Simply put Mr. President,
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in 12 hours these
dinosaurs will become...
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- Mind if I sit here?
- Time-asaurs.
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Go ahead, I can reshoot.
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00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:21,973
How's everything going?
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00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:24,907
- I have concerns.
- I'd like to hear them.
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00:08:24,919 --> 00:08:26,620
I'm worried you're not
distinct enough from Annie,
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00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,910
both in terms of
physicality and purpose.
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Okay.
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I can't determine if you
have any specific flaw,
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quirk, or point of view that makes you
a creative addition to the group.
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I don't know what that means,
but I'm writing it down.
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My umbrella concern is
that you, as a character,
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00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:42,149
represent the end of what
I used to call our show,
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00:08:42,156 --> 00:08:44,379
which was once an unlikely
family of misfit students,
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and is now a pretty loose knit
group of students and teachers.
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None of whom are taking a class together
in a school which, as of your arrival,
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00:08:49,637 --> 00:08:51,913
is becoming increasingly
grounded, asking questions like,
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00:08:51,924 --> 00:08:53,444
how do any of us get our money?
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When will we get our degrees, and what
happened to that girl I was dating?
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00:08:55,822 --> 00:08:58,394
As opposed to questions I consider
more important like, what is real?
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00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:01,397
What is sanity? Is there a god?
Where's that Pierce hologram?
180
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,999
Jeff said last year he
saw a Pierce hologram.
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None of the rest of us have ever seen it.
So, if there's a Pierce ghost on campus,
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I'd like to get a head
start on busting it.
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00:09:07,937 --> 00:09:09,586
All right.
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00:09:09,611 --> 00:09:12,020
This is the first I've heard
that I'm a character on a show.
185
00:09:12,026 --> 00:09:14,881
I'm excited to be one, but
I agree, I'll be a boring one.
186
00:09:14,894 --> 00:09:17,223
Quirks are not my strong
suit, results are.
187
00:09:17,243 --> 00:09:18,250
I love quirky people.
188
00:09:18,263 --> 00:09:21,863
I come from a big family of
people who are literally insane.
189
00:09:21,877 --> 00:09:23,907
I moved down here to take
care of one of them.
190
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,649
But I myself am
exceptionally boring,
191
00:09:26,674 --> 00:09:28,322
and I am quite proud
to be that way,
192
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:33,435
because it allows me to help the less
boring people turn quirks into results.
193
00:09:34,298 --> 00:09:36,818
That's the most interesting take on not
being interesting that I've ever heard.
194
00:09:36,831 --> 00:09:38,618
As far as what I represent
about your show,
195
00:09:38,643 --> 00:09:41,290
I wouldn't give me or anyone
else that kind of power.
196
00:09:41,296 --> 00:09:43,923
Good shows change, I assume.
197
00:09:43,936 --> 00:09:45,688
Personally, I don't own a TV.
198
00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:49,241
You're the first person to say that that
I didn't immediately delete from my brain.
199
00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:50,260
Thank you.
200
00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:51,712
[PHONE CHIMES]
201
00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:55,100
Emergency meeting
at Shirley's Sandwiches right now.
202
00:09:55,106 --> 00:09:57,620
Everyone freaking out.
New lady is evil.
203
00:09:58,328 --> 00:09:59,296
Crazy frown.
204
00:09:59,309 --> 00:10:00,458
[NOISE]
205
00:10:00,464 --> 00:10:01,702
I should go.
206
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:05,972
Abed, I could really use someone's help
in learning the ropes around here.
207
00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,471
I'll ask around.
208
00:10:10,408 --> 00:10:12,361
Friends, dumb hats.
209
00:10:12,367 --> 00:10:15,129
- Totally talking down to you.
- She hates you.
210
00:10:15,142 --> 00:10:16,302
I got it from Jared.
211
00:10:16,308 --> 00:10:18,581
- What are you guys doing back here?
Are you the big chilling? - Yeah,
212
00:10:18,594 --> 00:10:21,779
only there's not a hippie that died
to make us come together and complain.
213
00:10:21,799 --> 00:10:23,837
- It's our school.
- Frankie's taking over the campus.
214
00:10:23,843 --> 00:10:26,272
She cancelled Ladders,
she's banning substances,
215
00:10:26,285 --> 00:10:28,327
she wants to shut down
Shirley's sandwiches.
216
00:10:28,341 --> 00:10:30,845
- She called Annie a bitch.
- She implied I was a bitch.
217
00:10:30,858 --> 00:10:33,924
She implied Annie was a stuck up bitch
who thinks she's better than everyone.
218
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,064
- Okay, now you're just...
- She was nice to me.
219
00:10:36,077 --> 00:10:37,137
In fact we kinda got along.
220
00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:41,637
Abed, are you sure she wasn't
actually being sweetly condescending?
221
00:10:41,657 --> 00:10:43,050
Yup, I learned to pick
up on that one.
222
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:47,235
I make a movement that we form
a separate, secret, committee.
223
00:10:47,241 --> 00:10:50,074
I second Britta's motion,
not movement.
224
00:10:50,081 --> 00:10:53,506
I third Annie's number two-ing
of the movement Britta made.
225
00:10:53,518 --> 00:10:56,225
- Gross. - Our mission
to preserve the real Greendale.
226
00:10:56,244 --> 00:10:58,647
Oppose Frankie or drink.
227
00:10:58,653 --> 00:11:00,083
Whatever's easiest.
228
00:11:00,098 --> 00:11:01,451
[SOUND]
229
00:11:02,082 --> 00:11:03,595
Are you guys sure she's bad?
230
00:11:03,615 --> 00:11:06,010
Are you sure you're not doing what
I usually do, overreacting to change?
231
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:08,316
Nobody's ever doing what you
usually do Abed. You're nuts.
232
00:11:08,329 --> 00:11:09,042
Ugh.
233
00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:10,542
In a good way.
I'm just saying.
234
00:11:10,548 --> 00:11:13,283
- Leave reality to us.
- We always support you.
235
00:11:13,296 --> 00:11:14,870
Don't make it more
dramatic than it is.
236
00:11:14,876 --> 00:11:18,078
It's a blood oath to defy evil.
You're either in or you're out.
237
00:11:19,032 --> 00:11:20,292
Can I hang around if
I don't do the oath.
238
00:11:20,299 --> 00:11:23,025
Oh, gee. You mean
just be friends?
239
00:11:23,036 --> 00:11:24,887
Sure. Great, Abed.
240
00:11:25,448 --> 00:11:26,659
Okay.
241
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,881
Can I have some pretzels?
242
00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:35,848
No.
243
00:11:35,858 --> 00:11:38,016
Those are secret
committee pretzels.
244
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,490
Okay.
245
00:11:42,066 --> 00:11:43,455
Well.
246
00:11:47,430 --> 00:11:49,014
Yes, that was a test.
247
00:11:50,506 --> 00:11:52,107
You guys are bad friends.
248
00:11:52,132 --> 00:11:53,824
[MUSIC]
249
00:11:58,443 --> 00:11:59,972
Don't think of it as bad baking.
250
00:11:59,978 --> 00:12:02,594
Think of it as a crushing
blow to a gender stereotype.
251
00:12:02,606 --> 00:12:04,625
[MUSIC]
252
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:09,298
Britta, it might help
if every burnt sandwich
253
00:12:09,323 --> 00:12:11,777
didn't come with a self-aware
burnt sandwich bit.
254
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:14,937
Is that how you're gonna help
increase sales, creative notes?
255
00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:17,283
I had that sign spinner idea.
256
00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:18,744
[SOUND]
257
00:12:19,124 --> 00:12:23,463
We're a restaurant inside a cafeteria
Annie, our weak point wasn't traffic.
258
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:27,076
Flo, Alice, stop fighting, can't
afford to lose this place.
259
00:12:27,088 --> 00:12:28,911
If I have to start drinking
in the men's room,
260
00:12:28,936 --> 00:12:30,970
the score in my head has
to change from Trent Reznor
261
00:12:30,995 --> 00:12:32,642
to Johnny Cash doing
Trent Reznor.
262
00:12:32,655 --> 00:12:36,743
I'm a bartender Annie, I know a little bit
more about the human side of service.
263
00:12:37,175 --> 00:12:39,215
I can't eat this.
Can I have my money back?
264
00:12:39,228 --> 00:12:40,912
You're human garbage.
265
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,257
Hi, Mr. Winger.
Nice lecture yesterday.
266
00:12:44,270 --> 00:12:45,288
Don't patronize me Dave.
267
00:12:45,295 --> 00:12:49,343
It might not seem like this, but you're
killing small, black owned business.
268
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:53,088
I'll call it even for
a drink with Mr. Winger.
269
00:12:54,664 --> 00:12:56,428
- That's absurd.
- You will?
270
00:12:59,377 --> 00:13:01,230
Let's see some ID.
You snitch, you die.
271
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,476
[SOUND]
272
00:13:03,668 --> 00:13:05,092
- Morning.
- Morning.
273
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,148
Morning.
274
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,747
Well I guess we'll wait for
the others before we start.
275
00:13:09,753 --> 00:13:10,954
I don't think they're coming.
276
00:13:10,967 --> 00:13:14,555
What? The committee had a meeting
last night and decided you are evil.
277
00:13:14,568 --> 00:13:17,938
Ooh. Wait, you guys had
a meeting last night?
278
00:13:17,952 --> 00:13:19,898
So, we broke up as friends.
279
00:13:19,909 --> 00:13:21,617
Because I don't
think you're evil.
280
00:13:21,629 --> 00:13:24,662
I think you scare people, because you live
in the real world instead of up your butt.
281
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:26,275
I'm sorry that happened, Abed.
282
00:13:26,295 --> 00:13:28,151
It's like I said
yesterday at lunch.
283
00:13:28,164 --> 00:13:31,171
Drama and conflict are
exciting and easy.
284
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:33,037
Making a difference
can be pretty boring.
285
00:13:33,057 --> 00:13:34,077
You guys had lunch?
286
00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,594
I'd like to try to live
in that world.
287
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,504
I'm a little tired from all the drama,
the heroes, the villains, monsters.
288
00:13:38,523 --> 00:13:39,392
Pokemons..
289
00:13:39,417 --> 00:13:42,644
- You're just a person that sees things
the way they are. - Leprechauns. Scary.
290
00:13:42,663 --> 00:13:44,470
I don't know if I can
be like that but
291
00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:45,990
I don't think it makes
sense to be against it.
292
00:13:46,004 --> 00:13:47,605
You guys ever hear
of The Slender Man?
293
00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:48,977
I'd like to try to help you.
294
00:13:48,983 --> 00:13:51,923
- And if possible, learn from you.
- You guys on Reddit, 4Chan?
295
00:13:51,936 --> 00:13:53,762
- That would be great, Abed.
- Cuz it's awesome.
296
00:13:53,768 --> 00:13:58,124
I think we'd all benefit if
we were more like you, so
297
00:13:58,875 --> 00:13:59,868
what do you say?
298
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,434
[SOUND]
Let's order some food.
299
00:14:01,447 --> 00:14:03,863
- Let's save Greendale.
- Let's save Greendale.
300
00:14:03,883 --> 00:14:05,790
Tacos!
301
00:14:06,293 --> 00:14:08,333
We are something else.
302
00:14:08,352 --> 00:14:10,511
[MUSIC]
303
00:14:22,794 --> 00:14:23,851
Abed.
304
00:14:24,249 --> 00:14:25,770
- Abed.
- Yeah?
305
00:14:25,795 --> 00:14:27,716
- What are you doing?
- What do you mean?
306
00:14:27,728 --> 00:14:29,903
Someone told me you were
sweeping, straightening clocks.
307
00:14:29,909 --> 00:14:32,285
Why are you cleaning that sign?
I gave you a list.
308
00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:34,158
Yeah, the list felt
pretty similar visually.
309
00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:37,011
I can't picture a montage cutting
from me verifying Diane's invoice
310
00:14:37,036 --> 00:14:39,243
to me emailing
confirmation to Diane.
311
00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:41,475
Right. But a montage
is what, Abed?
312
00:14:41,488 --> 00:14:43,021
It's a movie apologizing
for reality.
313
00:14:43,034 --> 00:14:44,434
And we are where?
314
00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:46,739
- Reality.
- And what do people do here?
315
00:14:48,445 --> 00:14:49,706
They email Diane?
316
00:14:50,447 --> 00:14:52,042
[MUSIC]
317
00:15:04,265 --> 00:15:07,580
Abed, if you change your clothes
one more time today, you're fired.
318
00:15:07,586 --> 00:15:08,957
Sorry.
319
00:15:12,938 --> 00:15:14,998
- Hey, Abed.
Hey, Todd.
320
00:15:15,011 --> 00:15:18,785
- Are Annie and Britta around?
- No.
321
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,584
Abed,
322
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:34,582
maybe you should
order the special.
323
00:15:34,607 --> 00:15:35,934
I'll have the special.
324
00:15:35,947 --> 00:15:38,507
The specials are
kept in the back.
325
00:15:42,948 --> 00:15:45,648
You should, you should
go in the back.
326
00:15:48,228 --> 00:15:50,704
[FOREIGN]
327
00:16:12,954 --> 00:16:15,000
[SOUND]
328
00:16:15,025 --> 00:16:16,845
I'd like the special.
329
00:16:18,784 --> 00:16:20,611
[MUSIC]
330
00:16:30,979 --> 00:16:33,368
Vaporizers, Skittles?
331
00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:35,719
- Abed.
- Hey, Annie.
332
00:16:35,725 --> 00:16:38,534
- This place is so conceptual.
- It's practical, too.
333
00:16:38,547 --> 00:16:40,235
We made enough money
to save Shirley's.
334
00:16:40,242 --> 00:16:42,788
And in an ironic way, because if
Shirley saw this, her soul would die.
335
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,621
Hey, Abed, check this out.
336
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:46,668
[SOUND]
337
00:16:47,493 --> 00:16:49,740
- Oh, Britta's still the worst?
- Yeah.
338
00:16:49,752 --> 00:16:50,986
The bar gets dirty.
339
00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:53,764
You're gonna need someone to clean
it, probably after hours,
340
00:16:53,785 --> 00:16:57,058
and those floor polishers
can get pretty loud.
341
00:16:57,078 --> 00:16:59,053
I'd hate for someone to hear it.
342
00:16:59,521 --> 00:17:00,963
You blackmailing me?
343
00:17:01,510 --> 00:17:03,087
Just talking shop.
344
00:17:05,914 --> 00:17:07,574
- What's the rumpus, Abed?
- Miller's Crossing.
345
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:08,980
Mm-hm.
346
00:17:08,993 --> 00:17:10,883
This is really great. You guys
should be proud of yourselves.
347
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:12,664
We missed you.
Have a drink.
348
00:17:12,689 --> 00:17:14,000
Put on an old timey jacket.
349
00:17:14,013 --> 00:17:15,939
That's okay, I don't
really do this anymore.
350
00:17:16,715 --> 00:17:18,027
All right, come on.
351
00:17:18,628 --> 00:17:20,948
I said I don't do this, see.
352
00:17:20,963 --> 00:17:24,335
- You dirty rat.
- Guys are all dirty rats.
353
00:17:24,354 --> 00:17:26,337
What's your romper room?
354
00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:28,160
All right, maybe just one drink.
355
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:30,865
Then maybe cut
to a montage of drinks.
356
00:17:31,239 --> 00:17:32,390
[MUSIC]
357
00:17:32,409 --> 00:17:33,327
[LAUGH]
358
00:17:33,339 --> 00:17:34,795
Drink up!
359
00:17:36,686 --> 00:17:38,332
[NOISE]
360
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,000
[APPLAUSE]
361
00:17:41,714 --> 00:17:44,220
- Let's never stop being
friends again ever. - Mm-hm.
362
00:17:44,233 --> 00:17:45,430
Cheers!
363
00:17:45,784 --> 00:17:48,577
We shouldn't have made you
choose between Frankie and us.
364
00:17:48,590 --> 00:17:50,377
Oh, she's good for business.
365
00:17:50,397 --> 00:17:52,430
We're sorry that we made
you choose between...
366
00:17:52,444 --> 00:17:55,233
- You're just repeating what I said.
- No, you're repeating what I said.
367
00:17:55,246 --> 00:17:56,782
- Oh, I'm a time traveler?
- [LAUGH]
368
00:17:56,802 --> 00:17:58,655
- This is the show.
- [LAUGH]
369
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:05,860
Abed,
370
00:18:05,866 --> 00:18:10,287
I just got word from Diane that one
of your emails was a little shaky.
371
00:18:10,312 --> 00:18:11,653
Are you okay?
372
00:18:11,666 --> 00:18:13,772
I'm good. Late
night last night.
373
00:18:13,778 --> 00:18:14,685
Yeah?
374
00:18:14,691 --> 00:18:16,930
Yeah, I could use
a little protein.
375
00:18:17,452 --> 00:18:19,249
I'm gonna go get an early lunch.
376
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,098
You guys know about tardigrades?
377
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,788
They're these microscopic creatures
that look like robot bears.
378
00:18:27,813 --> 00:18:29,533
- They can survive in space.
- Mm. - Mm-hm.
379
00:18:29,546 --> 00:18:32,861
Get into space, you
dirty tardigrades, see?
380
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,441
[LAUGH]
381
00:18:34,466 --> 00:18:36,081
And they're everywhere.
382
00:18:36,087 --> 00:18:38,806
There's a lot of little things in real
life that are just as cool as fake stuff.
383
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:40,531
I learned that
working for Frankie.
384
00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:42,384
You guys would like
her, you know.
385
00:18:44,392 --> 00:18:45,827
Raid!
386
00:18:48,911 --> 00:18:51,604
Is this what you guys want?
387
00:18:52,112 --> 00:18:53,972
You wanna play cops
and robbers with costumes?
388
00:18:53,978 --> 00:18:55,516
Why is that guy a carrot?
389
00:18:56,031 --> 00:18:57,930
- Because they ran out.
- Who tattled?
390
00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:02,953
In what world, Britta, do you see this
as covert enough to require tattling?
391
00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:05,666
You built a bar in a school.
392
00:19:05,679 --> 00:19:07,811
There was lumber involved.
393
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:10,169
I have been letting you
hole up down here,
394
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,828
because it kept you
contained and satisfied,
395
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,110
because you are all
compulsively defiant,
396
00:19:16,117 --> 00:19:17,404
but it wasn't enough.
397
00:19:17,411 --> 00:19:20,584
You had to drag Abed back in,
and Abed deserves better.
398
00:19:20,603 --> 00:19:24,838
- Oh. - Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho,
it finally comes out.
399
00:19:24,858 --> 00:19:27,605
Abed deserves better.
400
00:19:27,617 --> 00:19:29,932
- That's been out.
- Shut up, Leonard.
401
00:19:29,945 --> 00:19:32,928
I once mistook six people
for you at a pharmacy.
402
00:19:32,943 --> 00:19:34,716
It's not their fault, Frankie.
I chose this.
403
00:19:34,723 --> 00:19:36,222
These are my friends.
404
00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:38,211
I hate emailing Diane.
405
00:19:38,236 --> 00:19:41,803
She can't commit to a font.
It's pathological, and so am I.
406
00:19:41,822 --> 00:19:43,309
This is where I belong.
407
00:19:43,322 --> 00:19:47,241
I know you think that, Abed,
but you don't know any better.
408
00:19:50,093 --> 00:19:51,075
Whoops.
409
00:19:51,088 --> 00:19:52,288
But...
410
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:54,933
Shut up, Leonard.
411
00:19:54,952 --> 00:19:56,213
You are.
412
00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:58,090
You are old.
413
00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:01,606
And you deserve less,
because of your age.
414
00:20:01,613 --> 00:20:03,068
I don't, I don't
actually believe that.
415
00:20:03,081 --> 00:20:06,150
I'm just trying to,
I'm trying to, and
416
00:20:06,175 --> 00:20:10,842
everybody here is a,
is a fart a livid fart
417
00:20:10,867 --> 00:20:13,842
from the butt of a lesser god.
418
00:20:13,867 --> 00:20:15,922
I'm, I'm better than this.
419
00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:24,040
Cut to everyone on campus getting
as drunk as they want montage.
420
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,470
[MUSIC]
421
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,979
Frankie hasn't come
back to work today.
422
00:20:41,994 --> 00:20:43,541
That's terrible.
423
00:20:43,547 --> 00:20:45,100
The insurance
company dropped us.
424
00:20:45,106 --> 00:20:47,493
- The school has no insurance.
- What was Frankie's salary?
425
00:20:47,506 --> 00:20:49,126
- A lot. - What were
the insurance premiums?
426
00:20:49,138 --> 00:20:52,479
- A lot. - Add those two numbers together,
that's your new school dance budget.
427
00:20:52,504 --> 00:20:54,389
Oh, nice.
428
00:20:54,414 --> 00:20:56,962
[MUSIC]
429
00:20:56,987 --> 00:20:59,278
Welcome to Ladders!
430
00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:01,042
[APPLAUSE]
431
00:21:01,491 --> 00:21:02,978
Yeah!
432
00:21:06,429 --> 00:21:08,626
[CHEERING]
433
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,773
Ladder!
434
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:19,830
Who wants to see the ladders
professor go higher?
435
00:21:19,842 --> 00:21:21,641
[APPLAUSE]
436
00:21:23,371 --> 00:21:25,341
Ladder!
437
00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:26,952
- Aah!
- [SCREAMS]
438
00:21:29,030 --> 00:21:30,781
You did it, Jeff Winger!
439
00:21:30,788 --> 00:21:32,628
This is your school now.
440
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,747
[SOUND]
441
00:21:37,928 --> 00:21:40,301
- Annie.
- It was worth it.
442
00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:42,882
Aah!
443
00:21:42,907 --> 00:21:45,402
[MUSIC]
444
00:21:48,088 --> 00:21:50,733
[MUSIC]
445
00:21:51,554 --> 00:21:55,102
All right, that should be the extent
of the professor's medical bills.
446
00:21:55,123 --> 00:21:57,196
What-What about that
lawsuits from the students?
447
00:21:57,202 --> 00:21:58,503
I think we should fight those.
448
00:21:58,516 --> 00:22:00,610
Actually, I suggest you
settle out of court.
449
00:22:00,616 --> 00:22:02,204
- This is my fault.
- Obviously not.
450
00:22:02,216 --> 00:22:03,489
- It's my fault.
- It's my fault.
451
00:22:03,502 --> 00:22:05,649
- Guys, it's my fault.
- It's my fault.
452
00:22:05,655 --> 00:22:07,002
- It's my fault.
- It's my fault.
453
00:22:07,015 --> 00:22:08,595
- It's my fault.
- It's my fault.
454
00:22:08,608 --> 00:22:10,835
[CROSSTALK]
455
00:22:10,841 --> 00:22:12,101
- It's my fault.
- It's my fault.
456
00:22:12,107 --> 00:22:16,237
[ALL] It's my fault. It's my fault.
It's my fault. It's my fault.
457
00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:17,893
All right, all right, all right.
458
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:19,653
So, whose fault wasn't it?
459
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:23,207
And who knows anything about
handling anything like this?
460
00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:26,853
In terms of hierarchy, I'm
a big believer in it.
461
00:22:26,867 --> 00:22:30,333
Someone needs to say, I'm in
charge, and that person is me.
462
00:22:30,339 --> 00:22:32,259
That's my decision.
463
00:22:33,637 --> 00:22:35,230
Wait, what?
464
00:22:35,247 --> 00:22:36,720
- I'm sorry?
- Who talks like that?
465
00:22:36,726 --> 00:22:39,231
Why would anyone hire
someone so pompous?
466
00:22:39,244 --> 00:22:41,945
Miss Dart, word of advice,
change your personality,
467
00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:44,423
or start looking for companies
run by insane people.
468
00:22:44,436 --> 00:22:45,205
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN]
469
00:22:45,218 --> 00:22:47,331
- Don't hire this woman.
- Fifth time's the charm.
470
00:22:47,344 --> 00:22:49,623
He's barged the four offices
screaming, don't hire this woman.
471
00:22:49,643 --> 00:22:52,425
- What the hell is going on?
- What are you doing here?
472
00:22:52,432 --> 00:22:55,148
- How did you even find me?
- I emailed Diane.
473
00:22:55,168 --> 00:22:56,868
She knows way too much about
your schedule, by the way.
474
00:22:56,877 --> 00:23:00,920
Whatever he's offering you,
Greendale, well, we can't double it.
475
00:23:00,926 --> 00:23:02,935
We probably can't even match it.
476
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:07,746
Whatever he's offering you, Greendale
will give you less, and an apology.
477
00:23:07,752 --> 00:23:09,708
- Do you know...
- Shh.
478
00:23:12,209 --> 00:23:13,948
It's not enough,
479
00:23:14,513 --> 00:23:19,121
but maybe if you added
more apologies.
480
00:23:19,624 --> 00:23:21,528
Like a montage of them?
481
00:23:25,293 --> 00:23:26,241
We're sorry.
482
00:23:26,266 --> 00:23:27,733
[MUSIC]
483
00:24:13,964 --> 00:24:15,981
[MUSIC CONTIENUES]
484
00:24:30,628 --> 00:24:32,208
[MUSIC]
485
00:24:56,499 --> 00:25:00,706
[MUSIC]
486
00:25:00,731 --> 00:25:01,731
[SOUND]
487
00:25:16,407 --> 00:25:18,467
I told you I wouldn't be
needing dinner tonight.
488
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,140
I'm guessing you wouldn't.
489
00:25:20,146 --> 00:25:21,904
Not if you're looking for this.
490
00:25:21,923 --> 00:25:23,727
[MUSIC]
491
00:25:24,504 --> 00:25:25,271
How'd you know?
492
00:25:25,291 --> 00:25:27,624
Nobody makes more
crumbs than a cook.
493
00:25:27,630 --> 00:25:30,124
Well, the same goes for
clues and detectives.
494
00:25:30,137 --> 00:25:33,121
You're too busy solving murders
to get away with your own.
495
00:25:33,127 --> 00:25:36,141
Well, then, what about the case
of my wife and my legs, Shirley?
496
00:25:36,146 --> 00:25:38,246
Can you solve that one, huh?
Can you?
497
00:25:38,253 --> 00:25:40,946
Cuz if you can't, then I ain't
got nothing to live for.
498
00:25:40,959 --> 00:25:42,866
Begging your pardon,
Mr. Butcher.
499
00:25:42,886 --> 00:25:45,840
I think the people on this
bayou would disagree.
500
00:25:45,853 --> 00:25:48,700
- You rescued a runaway girl today.
- Rescued, balls.
501
00:25:48,713 --> 00:25:51,754
I couldn't even rescue
a, a bulb from a socket.
502
00:25:51,762 --> 00:25:53,442
And you did all the work
today, didn't you?
503
00:25:53,455 --> 00:25:58,055
I'm just a detective from the swamps
of Atlanta, can't even walk.
504
00:25:58,068 --> 00:25:59,574
- [NOISE] Oh.
- Aah!
505
00:25:59,586 --> 00:26:01,699
Then let me be your legs.
506
00:26:01,706 --> 00:26:05,369
Let me do for you what I did today
every week until you find your wife.
507
00:26:05,382 --> 00:26:06,241
Or your legs.
508
00:26:06,254 --> 00:26:10,913
You are a stubborn son of
a bitch, Shirley Bennett.
509
00:26:10,919 --> 00:26:12,996
Now come on.
I have dinner to make.
510
00:26:13,011 --> 00:26:14,519
You got cases to solve.
511
00:26:14,538 --> 00:26:16,460
[MUSIC]
512
00:26:21,273 --> 00:26:25,326
Feeling someone's gonna murder
some tater tots tonight.
513
00:26:25,339 --> 00:26:27,251
That's no mystery at all.
514
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,835
[OMINOUS WHISPERS]
515
00:26:39,703 --> 00:26:41,430
Next week, on The
Butcher and The Baker,
516
00:26:41,455 --> 00:26:43,335
when a new detective on
the Bayou disappears,
517
00:26:43,346 --> 00:26:46,934
and Butcher is the prime suspect, it's up
to Shirley to cook up some answers.
518
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:55,439
Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther