1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:03,330 The muggings were confined to Cabot Street. 2 00:00:03,330 --> 00:00:04,560 They began over two months ago... 3 00:00:04,570 --> 00:00:05,870 Just like this briefing did. 4 00:00:05,870 --> 00:00:07,570 Please go to charisma class. 5 00:00:07,570 --> 00:00:09,140 I'm here. I'm here. Sorry, Charles. 6 00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:10,400 (Charles) No, Jake. 7 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,540 Never apologize for making an amazing entrance. 8 00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:13,670 My power went out last night, 9 00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:14,810 and my alarm didn't go off. 10 00:00:14,810 --> 00:00:16,910 Your alarm is power-dependent? 11 00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:18,440 You brought this on yourself, son. 12 00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:20,310 The point is, it will not happen again. 13 00:00:20,310 --> 00:00:22,080 Carry on. 14 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,080 Sorry I'm late, Sarge. 15 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,120 No hot water this morning. 16 00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,850 But I'm here, ready to go. 17 00:00:26,850 --> 00:00:28,550 Will cause no further distractions. 18 00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:31,220 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. - Seriously? 19 00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:32,660 What is your excuse today? 20 00:00:32,660 --> 00:00:33,660 More bad luck. 21 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:34,860 My car ran out of gas, 22 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,000 and then my clothes disappeared from the Laundromat. 23 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,030 I had to beg one of my neighbors to loan me some of his. 24 00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,930 You never told us Sinbad lives in your building. 25 00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:42,140 If Sinbad lived in my building, 26 00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:43,300 I would have a tattoo on my forehead 27 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:44,900 that said "Sinbad lives in my building." 28 00:00:45,940 --> 00:00:47,840 I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, 29 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,640 and I'm a half an hour early. 30 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,780 That's right, my string of bad luck has finally come to an end. 31 00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:54,480 Peralta, you failed your drug test. 32 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,650 There were traces of cocaine and methamphetamines 33 00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:58,460 - found in your urine. - What? 34 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:09,660 ♪ ♪ 35 00:01:18,930 --> 00:01:21,060 (Jake) Captain, this is insane. 36 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:22,260 I don't do drugs. 37 00:01:22,260 --> 00:01:23,960 I mean, sure, a couple of my teeth are loose, 38 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,070 but that's from dental neglect, not meth. 39 00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:27,470 Yeah, those tests are unreliable. 40 00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:29,270 Okay, let's not blame "tests." 41 00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:30,340 I believe in you, Jake, 42 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,140 but come on, he's going after tests. 43 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:33,140 Sir, listen: 44 00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:34,910 the missing laundry, the hot water, 45 00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:35,910 the power, the gas, 46 00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:36,980 now this? 47 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,640 This is not bad luck, it's a pattern. 48 00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:40,250 Someone's trying to sabotage me. 49 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:41,380 And who would want to do that? 50 00:01:41,410 --> 00:01:42,520 Probably someone I put away. 51 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:43,580 It's the only explanation. 52 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:44,920 Or you didn't pay your bills 53 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,490 and you only put a quarter gallon of gas in your tank 54 00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:48,320 'cause you wanted to spend the rest on mini-mart beef jerky. 55 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:49,820 Wrong, I buy my jerky online 56 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,360 from the world's top jerkmasters, 57 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,490 so it looks like you need to update your jerk Rolodex, 58 00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:55,160 which is not as dirty as it sounds. 59 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,760 Anyway, I can prove that I filled up my tank, all right? 60 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:58,930 I even have a receipt, 61 00:01:58,930 --> 00:02:01,870 because I keep all my receipts 62 00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,600 like a mature adult person. 63 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,000 Laser tag, 64 00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:06,510 wheelie shoes, 65 00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:08,710 remote control monster truck, 66 00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:09,710 aha! 67 00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:10,710 Gas station. 68 00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:11,710 Someone drained my tank. 69 00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:13,110 Okay, I know you don't do drugs, 70 00:02:13,110 --> 00:02:15,110 so maybe there is something to what you're saying. 71 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,320 I'll talk to One Police Plaza and arrange an appeal. 72 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,080 I'll also put someone on this sabotage theory. 73 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:21,220 I got it. 74 00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:22,620 Jake, when I find whoever did this to you, 75 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,690 I'm gonna rip out their eyeballs and fill their sockets... 76 00:02:24,690 --> 00:02:26,160 I think you might be too close to this. 77 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:27,160 Copy that. 78 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,860 Santiago, Diaz: look into it. 79 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,160 Noice. 80 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,630 In the meantime, Peralta, you're suspended. 81 00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:33,060 I'm gonna need you to hand in your badge and gun. 82 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,570 All right, fine, you can have my badge and gun, 83 00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:35,800 but we're doing it in your office 84 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,140 so I can slam them down on your desk 85 00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,500 and yell out, "The system stinks!" 86 00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:40,370 Actually, the procedure is to bring your gun and badge 87 00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:41,970 down to the equipment room on the second floor, 88 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:44,340 fill out form 452-underscore-J, 89 00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:46,380 hand said form in to the inventory clerk, 90 00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:48,980 and then receive a claim check through interoffice mail. 91 00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:50,750 The system stinks! 92 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:52,050 (Terry) Hey, Boyle, 93 00:02:52,050 --> 00:02:53,690 any progress with that extortion case 94 00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:55,050 you and Jake have been working on? 95 00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:57,490 No, I've just been going over his notes. 96 00:02:57,490 --> 00:03:00,160 Look how cool and illegible his handwriting is. 97 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,960 Oh, I wish I could be that free. 98 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,760 But you know me, ever the calligrapher. 99 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,400 Yeah, well, I thought you might need a little more manpower. 100 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,400 Okay. 101 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,100 So I'm assigning you a new partner. 102 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,640 Actually, partners. 103 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,870 Yep, there's definitely something in there. 104 00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:15,910 Looks like a peanut. 105 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:17,640 Bet it's a cashew. 106 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,640 You're on. 107 00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:20,480 No, Sarge, come on! 108 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:21,610 They're terrible. 109 00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:23,220 Stop exaggerating, Boyle. 110 00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:25,150 They're good detectives. 111 00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:26,150 They're fine. 112 00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:27,150 (Scully) Oh, no. 113 00:03:27,150 --> 00:03:28,220 I pushed it in deeper. 114 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:30,990 They're all we got. 115 00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:32,760 (Terry) Sir, 116 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,290 Gina's dance concert was last night. 117 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,000 Right. 118 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,060 The Dancy Reagan performance. 119 00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:41,100 I've been so preoccupied with Peralta's drug test, 120 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,230 it totally slipped my mind. 121 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:43,440 Me too. 122 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,940 But don't worry. 123 00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:46,070 I told her we were there. 124 00:03:46,070 --> 00:03:48,470 Was your favorite move "The Gull"? 125 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,210 Or was it "Space Bubbles"? 126 00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:52,010 Oh, I loved them both! 127 00:03:52,010 --> 00:03:54,150 I'm a bubble man 128 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,380 and a gull man! 129 00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:56,950 [both laughing] 130 00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:57,950 You lied to her? 131 00:03:57,950 --> 00:03:58,950 Like a pro. 132 00:03:58,950 --> 00:04:00,250 I couldn't hurt her feelings. 133 00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:01,920 She really wanted us to be there. 134 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,790 Well, I wish you hadn't involved me in your deception. 135 00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:08,060 I maintain a strict code of integrity. 136 00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:09,430 Come on, Captain. 137 00:04:09,430 --> 00:04:11,800 You never told a white lie to make a person feel better? 138 00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:15,270 I only lie when someone's safety is at risk. 139 00:04:15,270 --> 00:04:17,240 Or if a juvenile aged eight years or younger 140 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:18,740 asks about Santa Claus. 141 00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:19,740 In which case... 142 00:04:19,770 --> 00:04:21,610 I feed them some reassuring pap 143 00:04:21,610 --> 00:04:24,380 about the logical impossibility of proving a negative. 144 00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,210 It's sentimental drivel, 145 00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:27,850 but they eat it up. 146 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,050 So... 147 00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:33,150 does this mean you're gonna blow up my spot 148 00:04:33,150 --> 00:04:34,520 and tell Gina the truth? 149 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,460 If she asks me, then yes, 150 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:40,460 I suppose I will have to blow your spot right up. 151 00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:43,660 (Jake) Okay, this is everyone I could think of 152 00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:44,930 who would want to mess with my life. 153 00:04:44,930 --> 00:04:46,330 Perps, people I've testified against, 154 00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:47,530 the old guy who lived underneath me 155 00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:49,100 when I was learning the Gangnam Style dance. 156 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:50,640 Wow, you've pissed off a lot of people. 157 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,070 Well, that's what happens when you live out loud, Rosa. 158 00:04:53,110 --> 00:04:55,470 We need to look into the power outage and hot water. 159 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,910 Do you have proof you pay your bills? 160 00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:58,010 Are you serious? 161 00:04:58,010 --> 00:04:59,910 Guys, this is not my fault. 162 00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:01,680 My reputation is being sabotaged 163 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:02,950 by some guy. 164 00:05:02,950 --> 00:05:03,950 Or girl, you know. 165 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,350 Monsters can be women too. 166 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:06,850 (Rosa) Super progressive attitude, Jake. 167 00:05:06,850 --> 00:05:08,220 Look, we are on your side. 168 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,920 It's just, you're not the most responsible person. 169 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:10,990 We have to do our job. 170 00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:12,760 All right, fine. You can see my bank records. 171 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,460 But I always pay my power bill. 172 00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:15,760 Often late. 173 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,060 One time in person with Canadian pennies. 174 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,700 Oh, my God, talking about your finances 175 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,030 makes me sweat behind the knees. 176 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,070 Nice. 177 00:05:22,070 --> 00:05:23,070 Hey, speaking of funky smells, 178 00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,370 should we start this investigation 179 00:05:24,370 --> 00:05:25,640 at the urinalysis lab? 180 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,970 Hmm? Take a trip to the old pee factory? 181 00:05:27,970 --> 00:05:29,170 Jake, you're suspended. 182 00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:31,010 Just go home, have a beer, and smash something. 183 00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:32,140 That's what I'd do. 184 00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:33,610 Or take advantage of this amazing city. 185 00:05:33,610 --> 00:05:34,780 Go sightseeing. 186 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:36,220 MoMA has an exhibit I'm dying to see. 187 00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:37,720 It's all about office chair design. 188 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,220 Oh! 189 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,390 Look, I know technically I'm not supposed to help out, 190 00:05:41,390 --> 00:05:43,090 but rules are made to be broken. 191 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,290 They were made to be followed. 192 00:05:44,290 --> 00:05:45,390 Nothing is made to be broken. 193 00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,390 Uh, piñatas. 194 00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:47,790 - Glow sticks. - Karate boards. 195 00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:49,260 Spaghetti when you have a small pot. 196 00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:50,360 Rules. 197 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,800 Look, someone's messing with my life here. 198 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,830 I thought you guys had my back. 199 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,100 We do. 200 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,730 But seriously, you can't come with us. 201 00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:57,070 Okay. 202 00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,840 Fine. I get it. 203 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,710 Protocol's protocol. 204 00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:02,880 I'm gonna go check out that office chair design exhibit 205 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:03,880 at the MoMA. 206 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,190 (Jake) Rosa? Amy? 207 00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:09,650 What are you guys doing here? 208 00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:11,110 Our non-suspended jobs. 209 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,780 You're not supposed to be investigating. 210 00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:14,120 I'm not, I'm sightseeing, 211 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,550 just as Amy suggested. 212 00:06:15,550 --> 00:06:16,950 At Brooklyn Urine and Blood? 213 00:06:16,990 --> 00:06:18,360 Oh, yeah, the internet says 214 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,890 this is the number-one urinalysis lab 215 00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:20,990 in all of New York. 216 00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:22,360 Fun tourist selfie! 217 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,190 Boink! Not your best. 218 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,530 Anyways, I'm gonna take a "walking tour" in here 219 00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:28,200 while you guys ask a couple of questions, 220 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,900 and also, I've been waiting for 20 minutes. 221 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,100 Where have you been? 222 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,470 We had to find the addresses of all 78 people 223 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:33,470 you said might want to hurt you. 224 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:34,670 Uh-huh. 225 00:06:34,670 --> 00:06:36,510 And was there another stop along the way? 226 00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:37,540 We got coffee. 227 00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:38,840 Those are cappuccinos. 228 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,540 You know how long it takes to foam that milk? 229 00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,050 Time you could have spent on my case, 230 00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:44,360 but I guess it's just froth over friends with you two. 231 00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:45,980 Anyways, let's do this. 232 00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,080 (Amy) Jake... 233 00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:48,590 I can't believe I'm about to say this. 234 00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:51,250 I really wish you could come look at urine with us, 235 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:52,420 but you can't. 236 00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,990 You're suspended. Go home. 237 00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:54,990 All right, fine. 238 00:06:54,990 --> 00:06:56,090 If you guys won't help me, 239 00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:58,600 I guess I'll just get myself off. 240 00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,630 Context. 241 00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:01,000 Context was important on that one. 242 00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:02,030 I get Greek yogurt, 243 00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,270 'cause there's heritage there, 244 00:07:03,270 --> 00:07:04,670 but Iceland? 245 00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:07,500 No, no, no, no, no! 246 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,140 Hey, Gina! 247 00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:11,310 What are you guys talking about? Yogurt? Me too. 248 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:12,540 Let's keep talking about that. 249 00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:13,640 Whoo! 250 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:14,750 Terry's out of breath. 251 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:17,100 Cool. I was just dropping off some files. 252 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,680 Great, let's just go out to your desk 253 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,480 and let's talk about how that went. 254 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,890 Okay, Terry. 255 00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:23,520 But first, I want to ask the captain 256 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,720 for his impresh of my show. 257 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,770 Got any feed-b, or was it just love, love, love? 258 00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:30,430 Well, actually... 259 00:07:30,430 --> 00:07:32,300 (Terry) I thought it was amazing! 260 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:34,930 You were like a swan who went to Juilliard. 261 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:37,130 It was so good. 262 00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:39,700 Terry, I have already received your praise. 263 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,080 I'm clearly fishing in another pond right now. 264 00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:43,460 I'm putting an end to this. 265 00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:44,610 Sergeant Jeffords and I 266 00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:47,880 were unable to attend your performance. 267 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,580 Oh. 268 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:51,680 But you were so spot on with your compliments. 269 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,550 Terry is a practiced liar. 270 00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:55,430 I'm sorry we missed the show. 271 00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:58,190 I know that dancing is an important hobby to you. 272 00:07:58,190 --> 00:07:59,490 Hobby? 273 00:07:59,490 --> 00:08:00,930 You think my dancing is a hobby? 274 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,060 Oh, yes. 275 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,130 Like me and antique globe collecting. 276 00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:07,200 It's thrilling, but nobody is ever going to pay me for it. 277 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,230 Ergo, a hobby. 278 00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,570 I get paid... 279 00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,270 in applause. 280 00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:13,030 But apparently not yours. 281 00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:18,490 I know that maintaining integrity can be difficult, 282 00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:19,940 but in the long run, 283 00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:21,810 everyone is better for it. 284 00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:23,330 [electronic grinding] 285 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,450 Attention everyone. 286 00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:30,090 The tragic sound you hear is the shredding of my spandie. 287 00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:32,660 Gina Linetti will never dance again. 288 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,160 So those threatening phone calls 289 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,030 were being made to Tim Orsk 290 00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:40,430 of Tim O's Limos. 291 00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:41,730 That's interesting. 292 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,230 This Orsk guy's name keeps cropping up in this case. 293 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:45,840 'Cause he's the victim. 294 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,470 You know, he's the guy whose window 295 00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:49,840 was smashed with this rock. 296 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:50,840 Okay? 297 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,530 He's being extorted for $10,000. 298 00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:54,820 Sure, but what do they want from him? 299 00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:56,280 $10,000. 300 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:57,810 I just said that. 301 00:08:57,820 --> 00:09:00,620 We're trying to figure out who's doing the threatening. 302 00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:02,920 Wait. I have a theory. 303 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,420 I think "limousine" and "magazine" 304 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,760 come from the same word. 305 00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:08,160 Just focus! 306 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,590 I'm sorry for snapping. 307 00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:10,590 I interviewed Orsk... 308 00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:12,000 Orsk! There it is again. 309 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,400 Oh, you're useless! 310 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,800 You're completely useless! 311 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,030 You are without a doubt the most incompetent detectives 312 00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:18,440 I've ever seen. 313 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,300 And I'm including that bomb-sniffing dog 314 00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,600 who humps all the bombs! 315 00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:26,210 (Rosa) You know your turning signal's been on for 30 seconds. 316 00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:28,140 I like to announce my turning intention. 317 00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:29,690 This isn't the Indy 500. 318 00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:32,150 Well, when you finally change lanes an hour from now, 319 00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:33,550 we should go talk to Jake's super... 320 00:09:33,550 --> 00:09:34,750 see if there was a power outage. 321 00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:36,120 What? [both scream] 322 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,250 Oh! 323 00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:38,570 Why would you do that? 324 00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:39,620 I just broke into your car 325 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,160 and then popped up without warning. 326 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,240 Not cool. 327 00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:43,460 What the hell are you doing? 328 00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:45,400 I thought I was hitching a ride to Rikers 329 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,230 so we could interview some convicts I put away, 330 00:09:47,230 --> 00:09:49,630 but apparently you're still wasting time investigating me. 331 00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:52,500 Hey, it's your fault we have to check up on your power outages. 332 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,840 You have three mini-fridges plugged in to the same outlet. 333 00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:57,090 Three mini-fridges are cheaper than one regular one. 334 00:09:57,110 --> 00:09:58,440 We're just doing our jobs. 335 00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,440 Why don't you trust us? 336 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,440 How can I? 337 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:01,550 You didn't even know a man 338 00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:03,250 was lying in the backseat of your car. 339 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:05,050 And while you two were busy lolly-gargling... 340 00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:06,620 I'm not familiar with the expression... 341 00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,990 I was investigating. I'll send you some selfies. 342 00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,390 Look, we're gonna get to your list. 343 00:10:10,390 --> 00:10:12,160 We just have to rule out other possibilities first. 344 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,520 You know, there is a real chance 345 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,020 that no one is after you. 346 00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:16,560 Yeah, but I'm telling you that someone is. 347 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:17,530 That should be enough. 348 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,160 And we told you to trust us. 349 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,200 That should be enough. 350 00:10:20,230 --> 00:10:21,500 All right, fine. You don't want my help? 351 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:22,460 You're not gonna get it. 352 00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,630 Dude... 353 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,240 In fact, I'm deleting your numbers from my phone. 354 00:10:27,270 --> 00:10:28,410 Just let us take you home. 355 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,910 See you never. 356 00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:31,040 Fine. 357 00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:36,310 Where am I? 358 00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:38,050 [ice cream truck jingle playing] 359 00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:39,320 [engine revving] 360 00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:47,120 Hello, Peralta. 361 00:10:49,070 --> 00:10:51,250 (Jake) Geoffrey Hoytsman? 362 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:52,850 You're the one who's been sabotaging me? 363 00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:55,920 I'm just ruining your life like you ruined mine. 364 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,420 You never should have arrested me. 365 00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,460 But I basically got your cocaine charges dropped. 366 00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:01,630 You only had to do 40 hours of community service. 367 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:04,270 Right, but I wanted to get them all done at once, 368 00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:07,300 so for energy, I did way too much cocaine and meth. 369 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,500 Went on a prolonged psychotic episode 370 00:11:09,540 --> 00:11:11,570 involving assault, public fornication, 371 00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:13,510 and, apparently, the touching of my scrotum 372 00:11:13,510 --> 00:11:15,440 to every doorknob in a synagogue. 373 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:16,640 And you know what happened then? 374 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:17,950 They thoroughly cleaned the synagogue, 375 00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:19,150 you landed on your feet 376 00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:20,880 and pursued your true passion of selling ice cream? 377 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,080 None of that. 378 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,850 I lost my job and my wife and my home. 379 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,350 An ex-client lent me this truck. 380 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,590 He likes me because I got him off 381 00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:28,790 on a strangle-and-mangle. 382 00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:30,360 You have a phrase for that? 383 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,760 I used to, when I was an awesome lawyer. 384 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,060 Now I'm just another idiot living in an ice cream truck. 385 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:37,060 So that's why you put drugs in my urine. 386 00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,030 Hey, that was my urine. 387 00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:40,670 Your urine is in there. 388 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,140 Why would you keep my pee? 389 00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:43,840 I need belongings, Jake, 390 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,940 to feel like a man. 391 00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:46,840 Look, this is a bad idea, Hoytsman. 392 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,040 People are gonna notice if I disappear. 393 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,050 See? Someone's already looking for me. 394 00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:53,210 You're in big trouble, buddy. 395 00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:56,650 Your e-coupon for Big Mike's Calzones expires today. 396 00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:57,790 You're damn right. 397 00:11:57,790 --> 00:11:59,220 And if I don't redeem that, 398 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,550 Big Mike is gonna get real suspicious. 399 00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,120 Big Mike is a cartoon 400 00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:05,060 with pizzas for eyes. 401 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:06,430 All right, fine. 402 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,560 Maybe not Big Mike, but someone will. 403 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,260 Shut up, Peralta! 404 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,670 Oh, boy. 405 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,630 Captain Holt, 406 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,400 here's your CompStat report. 407 00:12:16,410 --> 00:12:18,140 This is how I move now. 408 00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:19,940 Walking is too close to dancing, 409 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,580 and there's no more dance in me. 410 00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:25,180 Plus I'm hoping my leg muscles will atrophy 411 00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:27,410 so I won't be tempted to use them. 412 00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:36,060 I bet you feel real good about calling her dancing hobby, huh? 413 00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:38,560 Sarcasm... the coward's lie. 414 00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:39,730 I don't get it. 415 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,400 Gina's always so sure of herself. 416 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,600 She usually doesn't care at all 417 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,960 what people say or think about her. 418 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,270 Maybe not with most people, Captain. 419 00:12:46,270 --> 00:12:47,700 But she cares what you think. 420 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,940 [chair dragging] 421 00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:52,340 Fine. I regret what I said. 422 00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:54,770 But now, I don't know how to make it right with her. 423 00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:56,180 Lie! 424 00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:58,180 Look, yesterday I told my twins 425 00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,980 there were baby bunnies in their stomachs 426 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,410 to get them to eat lettuce. 427 00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:02,720 And that worked? 428 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,990 Yeah, but then they refused to drink their milk 429 00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:06,850 because they thought the bunnies would drown. 430 00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:09,590 So I bought a couple rabbits and told the girls 431 00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:11,830 that they hopped out of their mouths while they slept. 432 00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:13,060 I've lost track of your point. 433 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,200 They ate their lettuce, 434 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,330 I'm stuck with two bunnies, 435 00:13:15,330 --> 00:13:16,900 and lying works! 436 00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:23,840 [muffled yelling] 437 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:24,940 Pretty good gag, huh? 438 00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:26,610 A prostitute taught me how to make it. 439 00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:28,110 Ugh. Where were you? 440 00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:29,680 You were gone for three hours. 441 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,510 I know because I sang "This Is How We Do It" 143 times. 442 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,180 Okay, well, I had to grab a few things at the art supply store. 443 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:37,250 Kidnapping is 90% crafting. 444 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,720 Jake, you're gonna help me get my life back. 445 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,320 You're gonna confess, on video, 446 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,520 to framing me for everything that got me in trouble. 447 00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:44,960 And why would I do that? 448 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,330 Because I'm high on bath salts, 449 00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:47,360 emotionally unstable, 450 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,660 and pointing a gun at you. 451 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,100 Let's make a movie! 452 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:52,600 (Hitchcock) Hey, Boyle, 453 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,500 guess who caught the Tim O's Limos perp. 454 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,170 Jake? 455 00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:57,170 Is Jake back? 456 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,170 No, we did. 457 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,340 Scully and Hitchcock. 458 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,280 Signed confession. 459 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:02,280 You called us useless. 460 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,810 You called us incompetent. 461 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,310 You called us zeros in the sack. 462 00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:06,480 Never happened. 463 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,680 Well, someone said it to me last night. 464 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:11,050 Oh, uh, must have been my wife. 465 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,490 How did you solve the case? 466 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,050 We listened to those voicemails again 467 00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:16,090 and noticed the sound of parrots in the background. 468 00:14:16,090 --> 00:14:17,890 Got a list of employees, did door duty 469 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:20,060 asking neighbors if any of them kept pet birds. 470 00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:23,060 (Hitchcock) We finally found one who did, and guess what. 471 00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:26,030 The landscaping in front of his building was covered with these. 472 00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:28,740 (Scully) Same type of rock that was thrown through the window. 473 00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:29,840 I can't believe it. 474 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,310 What, you don't think it could break one? 475 00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:32,310 Watch. 476 00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,340 I meant I can't believe you solved the case. 477 00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:37,780 Well, you were wrong on that too. 478 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:43,880 Hi. My name is Jake Peralta, 479 00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:45,350 and this is my confession. 480 00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:47,890 I destroyed the good name of an American hero... 481 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,120 Geoffrey Hoytsman. 482 00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:53,360 I framed him for drug possession, 483 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,700 I got him fired from his job, 484 00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,330 and I planted his scrotal prints 485 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,260 on the synagogue doorknobs. 486 00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:00,500 Great, now just eighty more confessions to go. 487 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,670 You've been very naughty. 488 00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:05,570 I threatened to blow Mr. Hoytsman's head off 489 00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,340 if he didn't quote-unquote 490 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,910 "really cheap out on his dad's funeral." 491 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,910 And while he slept, 492 00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:13,750 I logged in to Hoytsman's computer 493 00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:16,150 and flooded it with Thai pornography. 494 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:17,220 Starts crying. 495 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,990 "Starts crying" is a stage direction, 496 00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:20,520 you imbecile! 497 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,690 Also, I fathered two children with Hoytsman's cleaning lady, 498 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,460 and it was I, disguised as Geoffrey, 499 00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:28,190 who spoke against her at her political asylum hearing. 500 00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,300 God. 501 00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:30,680 You did it, not me. 502 00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:34,800 I am a horrible person who has done horrible things 503 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,600 to a truly decent man, 504 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:40,440 which is why I've decided to take my own life. 505 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,880 Wait, no, I didn't decide that. 506 00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:43,110 Spoiler alert! 507 00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,900 (Jake on video) Decided to take my own life. 508 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:48,660 That last take sounded great. 509 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,970 You really brought my words to life. 510 00:15:50,970 --> 00:15:52,470 You know, I should write more. 511 00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:53,470 What a rush! 512 00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:55,440 Hoytsman, you don't have to do this. 513 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:56,670 Your life's not so bad. 514 00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:58,670 Living in an ice cream truck? Never showering? 515 00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:00,140 That was my childhood dream. 516 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:01,540 I had everything. 517 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:05,150 I had friends, a wife, two beautiful children... 518 00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:06,250 out of three total. 519 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,380 Not a bad ratio. 520 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:08,550 And now I have nothing 521 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:09,550 and no one. 522 00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:10,650 Look, I get it. 523 00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:12,120 I know what that feels like. 524 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,960 You've only lived in an ice cream truck for part of one day! 525 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,560 How could you possibly know? 526 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,690 Well, I know no one's coming to rescue me. 527 00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:21,000 I was so concerned with saving myself and my reputation 528 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,330 I pushed all my friends away. 529 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:24,970 Wow. 530 00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:27,040 Sounds like you're having a breakthrough. 531 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,340 You should act on this. 532 00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:30,870 You still have time to make it right. 533 00:16:30,870 --> 00:16:32,340 Really? You're not gonna kill me? 534 00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:33,440 Oh, jeez. 535 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,810 I totally forgot. 536 00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:36,950 Thanks for reminding me. Of course I'm gonna kill you. 537 00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:39,450 Drugs make me say such silly things. 538 00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:40,950 Drugs are so silly. 539 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:44,150 Ooh, I'm gonna do some right now. 540 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:45,150 - Hoytsman. - What? 541 00:16:45,150 --> 00:16:46,150 - Hyah! - Oh! 542 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,160 God! That's my nose! 543 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,590 That's where I put the drugs in! 544 00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:51,690 - Gyah! - Oh! 545 00:16:51,690 --> 00:16:53,660 [grunting] 546 00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:55,330 So long, Hoytsman. 547 00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,260 Hyah! 548 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,370 I can't move! 549 00:16:58,370 --> 00:17:00,800 I'm turtling. I'm turtling! 550 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,770 Nice try, Jake. 551 00:17:02,770 --> 00:17:03,810 Get up! 552 00:17:03,810 --> 00:17:04,940 I can't. 553 00:17:04,970 --> 00:17:06,440 Oh. 554 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,710 Yeah. Okay. My bad. 555 00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:10,980 What's this? 556 00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:14,950 I'm selling my smoke machine, glitter cannon, and castanets. 557 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,320 I would've put my soul on there, 558 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,090 but that was shredded along with my spandies. 559 00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:20,820 Gina, I want to tell you something. 560 00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:23,560 Dancing is more than just a hobby for you. 561 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:24,890 It's a profession. 562 00:17:24,890 --> 00:17:26,790 Oh, so you're a liar like Terry now? 563 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,100 No, I'm no bunny-buying coward. 564 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,030 You are a professional dancer, 565 00:17:31,030 --> 00:17:33,470 because I'm paying Dancy Reagan 566 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:36,970 to perform two shows at our at-risk youth program. 567 00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:38,140 Congratulations. 568 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,310 Thank you, Captain. 569 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,080 You just made me the happiest, prettiest, 570 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,610 most talented girl in the world. 571 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:46,950 This is the best $8,000 you ever spent. 572 00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:48,380 It's $200. 573 00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:50,480 I'm sure you're good for the rest. 574 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,720 Captain loves my dancing. 575 00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:01,400 (Hoytsman) This is why you're alone, Jake. 576 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,760 We were bonding, 577 00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:03,800 talking about our pain, 578 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,670 and you pull a stunt like that? 579 00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:06,800 You were gonna kill me. 580 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,440 Deflect, deflect, deflect. 581 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,910 This is why everyone hates you. 582 00:18:10,910 --> 00:18:12,110 (woman) You open? 583 00:18:12,110 --> 00:18:14,110 Okay. You keep it shut. 584 00:18:14,110 --> 00:18:15,640 I really need this sale. 585 00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,580 Hello, ma... whoa! 586 00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:21,620 [crying] 587 00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:22,680 Don't hurt me! 588 00:18:22,690 --> 00:18:24,650 I'm someone's little boy. 589 00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:26,350 Geoffrey Hoytsman, you're under arrest. 590 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:27,490 Ow. 591 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:30,990 Oh, I am so relieved you guys found me. 592 00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:32,190 Wait, how did you find me? 593 00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:33,760 You hadn't done anything super annoying to us 594 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,760 for, like, five hours, 595 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:35,960 so we knew something was wrong. 596 00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:37,330 Oh, that's very insulting 597 00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:38,770 but dead on. 598 00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:41,070 We looked through those irritating selfies you sent us, 599 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,540 and in the background of three of them 600 00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:43,640 was an ice cream truck. 601 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,540 We ran the plates and put out an APB. 602 00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:47,480 I'm sorry we doubted anybody was sabotaging you. 603 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,080 No, I'm the one who should apologize. 604 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,750 For some reason, I have trouble believing 605 00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:51,950 people actually have my back. 606 00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,250 I don't know why. 607 00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:55,680 Probably my dad abandoning me. 608 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,020 Maybe something I should work out in therapy, but... 609 00:18:58,020 --> 00:19:01,660 who has an hour to spare once every two weeks, right? 610 00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:02,660 Anyways, 611 00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:04,220 I'm sorry I acted like a jackass. 612 00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:06,530 Wow, Jake, you're so sincere since you got off coke. 613 00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:08,400 And meth. That was the hard one to kick. 614 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,600 No, the hard one to kick is angel dust, 615 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,070 which is why I am locked in for life. 616 00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,270 Hey. 617 00:19:16,270 --> 00:19:17,510 I double checked your evidence. 618 00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:18,510 Everything looks good. 619 00:19:18,510 --> 00:19:20,610 I got to say... 620 00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:22,040 you guys are good cops. 621 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,910 Hyeah, no doy! 622 00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:25,880 How do you think we got to be the oldest guys here? 623 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:26,980 By never being promoted 624 00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:28,680 and losing all your money to divorces? 625 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,050 And bad investments. 626 00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:32,450 Anyway, I'm sorry for calling you useless. 627 00:19:32,450 --> 00:19:34,360 I'm gonna make sure everyone knows you did good. 628 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:35,590 - Boyle, please don't. - Don't? 629 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:36,990 (Hitchcock) The last thing we need 630 00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,560 is to suddenly be on everyone's A list. 631 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:39,590 The ones to watch. 632 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,600 The golden boys. 633 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:41,960 Pair of red hot dicks. 634 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,530 No one calls detectives that anymore. 635 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:44,870 People call detectives that? 636 00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:47,100 (Hitchcock) All that investigating was exhausting. 637 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,370 Besides, we did our share of that in the '70s and '80s. 638 00:19:49,370 --> 00:19:52,270 Now we like to do paperwork in our comfy chairs. 639 00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:53,910 If we're away from our desks for too long, 640 00:19:53,910 --> 00:19:57,450 they'll update our computers, and we'll lose Minesweeper. 641 00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,080 So please, don't tell anyone 642 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,080 about the amazing work we did today. 643 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,650 I never said "amazing." 644 00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:04,550 You kind of just did your jobs. 645 00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:06,390 There you go. 646 00:20:06,390 --> 00:20:07,390 No, really. 647 00:20:07,390 --> 00:20:08,620 I mean, you also broke a window. 648 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:09,890 Now you get it. 649 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,600 (Holt) Your suspension has been lifted, Peralta. 650 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,100 Well, that's great news, sir. 651 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,830 And now it is time for the traditional 652 00:20:18,830 --> 00:20:20,170 handing back of gun and badge 653 00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:21,570 to the vindicated hero ceremony. 654 00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:22,740 Everyone in! 655 00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:24,370 I don't have your gun or your badge. 656 00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:27,880 Just take form 891-underscore-J down to the equipment room 657 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,440 and retrieve your things there. 658 00:20:29,450 --> 00:20:31,180 I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable. 659 00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,380 Come on, Captain. I need this. 660 00:20:32,380 --> 00:20:33,380 We all need this! 661 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:34,920 [all talking at once] 662 00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:37,320 Fine. Fine. 663 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,150 If this will make you happy... 664 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,830 I believe these belong to you. 665 00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:44,990 Congratulations. 666 00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:47,360 [applause] 667 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,930 That's very nice. Thank you. 668 00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:51,170 But as I've said before, the system stinks, 669 00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:52,430 and this isn't over. 670 00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:54,770 I say we march down to city hall! 671 00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:56,170 Get out of my office. 672 00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:57,170 Yup.