1 00:00:00,780 --> 00:00:02,570 (Charles) Jake, you gotta see this. 2 00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:03,700 There's something going on here. 3 00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:07,740 Something a little... hairy. 4 00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:08,970 Nope. 5 00:00:08,970 --> 00:00:09,970 Don't see anything out of the ordinary. 6 00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:11,140 Really? 7 00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:14,410 Well, maybe I should... frame the question differently. 8 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,350 Terry, do you notice anything? 9 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,380 Amy? 10 00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:20,510 New shirt? 11 00:00:20,510 --> 00:00:21,920 Oh, come on, guys. 12 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,920 I grew a goatee, and it looks amazing, 13 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:24,960 and I know you can see it. 14 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:25,990 Of course we can see it, Charles. 15 00:00:25,990 --> 00:00:27,290 It's horrible. 16 00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:28,930 It looks like you unclogged a shower drain 17 00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:30,060 with your mouth. 18 00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:31,200 Yeah, you look exactly like the guy 19 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,770 in the "Don't Talk to Strangers" poster. 20 00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:35,060 No, I don't. 21 00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:36,170 Are you talking about your new goatee? 22 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,180 Mm-hmm. 23 00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:38,540 I think it's a good choice for your face. 24 00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:39,570 Come over here, so I can take a better look. 25 00:00:39,570 --> 00:00:40,810 Thank you, Captain. 26 00:00:40,810 --> 00:00:42,240 I knew you'd appreciate Bianca. 27 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,780 That's right; I call her Bianca 28 00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:44,940 because she's dark and thick 29 00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:47,250 like my first cousin Bianca. 30 00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,240 Jeffords, Peralta, now. 31 00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:50,820 Wh... [shouts] 32 00:00:50,820 --> 00:00:52,150 Say good-bye to Bianca, Boyle. 33 00:00:52,150 --> 00:00:53,150 [screams] 34 00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:54,590 No! 35 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:03,560 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:16,910 Hey, Charles. 37 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,310 I want to ask you something, 38 00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:19,910 but you have to promise not to get excited and weird. 39 00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:21,550 I can't promise anything of the sort. 40 00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:22,900 It's about restaurants. 41 00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,420 [giggles] 42 00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:25,820 I'm so glad I didn't make that promise. 43 00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:26,780 Oh, boy. 44 00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:27,890 All right, where do you take your dad 45 00:01:27,890 --> 00:01:28,890 when you want to go someplace special? 46 00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:29,890 Great question. 47 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:30,890 We go to Csaba. 48 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:31,920 It's a Hungarian restaurant 49 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,360 that serves "Tál ezer kolbász," 50 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,750 the platter of a thousand sausages. 51 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:36,660 Ugh. 52 00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:37,930 It's symbolic of our manhood. 53 00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,230 Okay, I should've saved the "ugh" till then. 54 00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:41,100 Anyways, I'll try and get a reservation. 55 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,470 My dad's coming into town, 56 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,800 and we're going out to dinner tonight. 57 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,040 Why are you going to dinner with him? 58 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,170 He hasn't visited you in six years. 59 00:01:47,170 --> 00:01:48,770 Yeah, he's busy. He's an airline pilot. 60 00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:49,840 Regional airline. 61 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,180 He flies internationally. 62 00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,640 [scoffs] Quebec to Albany. 63 00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:53,750 What is going on here? 64 00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:54,750 What's your problem with my dad? 65 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:55,750 I'm just being wary. 66 00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:57,150 He left you when you were seven, 67 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,760 and he's been letting us down ever since. 68 00:01:58,770 --> 00:01:59,780 Us? 69 00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:01,050 I think of you as a brother, Jake, 70 00:02:01,050 --> 00:02:03,420 so he didn't just abandon you; He abandoned us. 71 00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:04,920 Look, I know he hasn't been the best dad in the past, 72 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,390 but he's changed. 73 00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:07,990 Check it out. We've been texting. 74 00:02:07,990 --> 00:02:09,280 "New phone. Who dis?" 75 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,600 No, below that. Oh. 76 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,660 See, he's coming into town just to see me. 77 00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:14,430 All right, we're gonna go out to dinner tonight, 78 00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:15,530 then maybe take a walk through the park, 79 00:02:15,530 --> 00:02:16,800 possibly a carriage ride. 80 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,140 If I get chilly, he could loan me his coat. 81 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,410 I'm describing a date. 82 00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:21,440 I don't know what fathers and sons do, 83 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,510 but I'm gonna find out! 84 00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:26,510 (Terry) Joining us for lunch, sir? 85 00:02:26,510 --> 00:02:27,950 Oh, no, I've already consumed the required calories 86 00:02:27,950 --> 00:02:29,050 for this day period. 87 00:02:29,050 --> 00:02:30,470 Yummy. 88 00:02:30,470 --> 00:02:32,550 But I do have some fun lunch chitchat. 89 00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:33,720 When I was a detective, 90 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,920 my old c.o., Jim Martins, 91 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,520 used to keep us on our toes 92 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,620 by have us solve brain teasers. 93 00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:41,160 I thought maybe you'd like to try one. 94 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,160 Don't just tease my brain, Captain. 95 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,730 Really go to town on it. 96 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,630 Yeah, bring it on, sir. 97 00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:46,930 I love puzzles. 98 00:02:46,930 --> 00:02:48,400 They're like power squats for your mind. 99 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,800 Good. Here's a problem. 100 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,160 There are 12 men on an island. 101 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,910 11 weigh exactly the same amount, 102 00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:58,210 but one of them is slightly lighter or heavier. 103 00:02:58,210 --> 00:02:59,710 You must figure out which. 104 00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:01,450 And what do these men look like facially 105 00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:03,350 and with respect to their bodies? 106 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,500 It's unimportant. 107 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,050 So like Tyrese. 108 00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:08,390 It's a land of Tyreses. 109 00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,650 Sure. 110 00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:11,920 The island has no scales, 111 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,690 but there is a seesaw. 112 00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:16,730 The exciting catch: 113 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,030 You can only use it three times. 114 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,030 That sounds super exciting. 115 00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,100 Is this thing mandatory? 116 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,600 Oh, I hope so. Please say yes. 117 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,500 No, but there is a prize for whoever solves it first. 118 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,970 Two tickets to this Sunday's 119 00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:29,650 Beyoncé Knowles rock music concert. 120 00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:31,020 I'm in. 121 00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:32,360 Marcus loves Beyoncé. 122 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,820 Everyone loves Beyoncé. 123 00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:35,580 My girls were conceived to Bootylicious. 124 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:37,950 Don't tell my wife I told you that. 125 00:03:37,950 --> 00:03:39,220 [cell phone chimes] 126 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,650 Whoop. 127 00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:43,420 Guys, my dad just texted. He's in the building. 128 00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:44,420 Scully, stop eating. 129 00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:45,660 Terry, start flexing. 130 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,420 Everybody be cool. 131 00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:49,210 Paging Detective Jake Peralta. 132 00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:50,260 Ah, Dad! 133 00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:51,500 How are you, son? 134 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,720 Good to see you. 135 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,730 Hey. 136 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:56,030 Everyone, this is my dad. 137 00:03:56,030 --> 00:03:58,100 Hey, introduce yourself in your captain's voice. 138 00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,670 Folks, this is your pilot speaking, 139 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:01,930 Captain Roger Peralta. 140 00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:04,310 If you look to your left, you'll see me, 141 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:05,740 making your acquaintance. 142 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:06,810 Love that. 143 00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,680 Hi, I'm Jake's best friend, Charles. 144 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:09,680 How are you? 145 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:10,680 Pop quiz: 146 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,680 What's Jake allergic to? 147 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:12,920 Bees. And wasps. 148 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,620 Guy didn't even include wasps. 149 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:15,620 Huh! 150 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,490 Wasps. Those aren't even real. 151 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,560 Oh, hey, Captain Holt. 152 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,700 Come meet my dad, Captain Peralta. 153 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,560 Hello, Captain. Captain. 154 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,630 This is super weird for me. 155 00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:28,730 Captain. Captain. 156 00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:29,900 Anyways, you guys, 157 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,600 my dad is the best pilot. 158 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:32,600 Oh, come on. 159 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,840 Tell them about Oregon. 160 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,910 Okay, this one time I'm in Eugene, 161 00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:38,380 I'm hitching a ride in the jump seat of a commuter jet. 162 00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:40,180 I'm sleeping off a wicked hangover. 163 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,180 Noice. 164 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,610 All of a sudden, there's a jolt and a boom. 165 00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:43,820 A bird. It was a bird. 166 00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:45,350 Yeah, we sucked a bird into our intake. 167 00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:47,320 Next thing I know, the cabin's filling up with smoke, 168 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,560 alarm's going off, 169 00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:50,990 engine flames out and dies. 170 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,290 We are in a dead stall. 171 00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:54,690 I look over at the pilot, Sam Power... 172 00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:55,690 (both) Great name. 173 00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:57,090 He's white as a sheet. 174 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,660 And he says to me... I'll never forget what he said. 175 00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:02,670 He says, "Bobby's got a big ol' butt." 176 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,170 Turns out he's having a stroke. 177 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,710 Bring the plane down on a highway, 178 00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:07,470 right across from a rest area. 179 00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:09,240 Get on the PA, 180 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,710 I say, "Folks, 181 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,590 coffee's on me." 182 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,010 What? Wow. 183 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,380 Are you kidding me? [applause] 184 00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:18,020 Anyway, I'm not here to talk about me. 185 00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:20,260 I'm here to spend some time with my boy. 186 00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,720 Ah, Dad. 187 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,190 It's good to see you. You too. 188 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,560 Oh, hey, let me give you a tour of the precinct. 189 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:25,590 Cool. 190 00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:27,330 Ooh, you can interrogate one of my perps. 191 00:05:27,330 --> 00:05:29,520 No, he can't. Don't do that, Jake! 192 00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:35,900 You might as well save yourself some paper 193 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,470 and give up now, Sarge. 194 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,240 You know I'm going to solve this first. 195 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,570 You probably can't tell, 196 00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:43,370 but I'm flexing my brain like crazy right now. 197 00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:45,810 (Gina) Yeah, you're both wasting your time. 198 00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:47,250 Beyoncé's my spiritual twin. 199 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,880 Those tickets are my birthright. 200 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,520 No offense, but this is gonna come down to me and the sarge. 201 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,220 Whoa, you think you two are the only ones 202 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,490 that can solve puzzles? 203 00:05:54,490 --> 00:05:56,820 Yeah, what about Rosa, Gina, and me? 204 00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:58,390 Is this how you want to die, Hitchcock? 205 00:05:58,390 --> 00:06:00,730 Look, it's just that the sarge and I are really into puzzles. 206 00:06:00,730 --> 00:06:02,930 Remember when I took that Sudoku cruise? 207 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,330 I never even went on deck. 208 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,300 100 bucks says Gina and I can solve this thing 209 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,570 before you two puzzle dorks. 210 00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:10,770 [scoffs] 211 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,360 Deal. 212 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:13,800 You're going down. 213 00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:17,480 You're really not a part of this, Hitchcock. 214 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,480 (Jake) [sighs] 215 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,810 Did they bring out more sausage 216 00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:21,180 while I was in the bathroom? 217 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:22,880 No, that's still the first mountain. 218 00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,350 Good Lord. 219 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:26,280 Anyways, do you remember what you always did 220 00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:27,790 when you'd take me to dinner as a kid? 221 00:06:27,790 --> 00:06:29,390 Tell the waitress it was your birthday, 222 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,450 so we'd get a free dessert? 223 00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:31,460 I already did it. 224 00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:32,590 [scoffs] 225 00:06:32,590 --> 00:06:33,710 I just told them it was your birthday. 226 00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:34,590 Come on. 227 00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:35,890 Looks like we're going to get 228 00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:38,730 two free probably disgusting sausage-filled desserts. 229 00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:39,860 This is pretty fun, right? 230 00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:41,300 I mean, we're actually bonding. 231 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,430 Jake, there's something I want to talk to you about. 232 00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:46,100 Last week I was flying into Albany from Quebec, 233 00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,710 you know how I always keep my snowboard with me 234 00:06:48,710 --> 00:06:50,310 in case I get a chance to carve... 235 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,640 So cool. 236 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,880 Well, Canadian customs found some prescription meds 237 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,010 in my board bag. 238 00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,440 They're accusing me of smuggling. 239 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,450 What? 240 00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:58,450 Yeah, I have no idea how they got in there. 241 00:06:58,450 --> 00:06:59,480 They're not mine. 242 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:00,480 But it's bad. 243 00:07:00,490 --> 00:07:02,450 I could lose my pilot's license. 244 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,190 But you're the best pilot in the world, 245 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,390 I'm guessing without knowing anything about the field. 246 00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:07,560 I'm really in a bind here. 247 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,460 Jake, I need your help. 248 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,960 That's actually the reason I'm here. 249 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,000 Oh. 250 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,070 That's the reason. 251 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:20,040 Happy sausage birthday to both of you. 252 00:07:20,050 --> 00:07:22,380 [all singing in Hungarian] 253 00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:23,380 ♪ ♪ 254 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,610 All right, let's talk about my dad's case. 255 00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:29,140 The case of why he came to town? 256 00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:30,510 I solved it: 257 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,210 Because he wanted to take advantage of his son. 258 00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:33,210 (Jake) Okay, fine. 259 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,580 First I was a little upset, 260 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,250 but then I realized this is great. 261 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,650 You know, we'll get to spend some time together, 262 00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:39,010 and he'll see what a good cop I am. 263 00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:40,120 He should already think you're great. 264 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,290 Like with my dad, 265 00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:42,720 he doesn't need me to prove to him 266 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,630 that Jake Peralta is the best cop in the precinct. 267 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:45,890 He knows it! 268 00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:46,930 Tell us about the case. 269 00:07:46,930 --> 00:07:48,130 Here's what we know so far. 270 00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:50,260 One, Hungarian sausage is an oily mess, 271 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,230 and it causes nonstop dumps. 272 00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:53,930 The incontinence is a small price to pay 273 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:54,930 for the deliciousness. 274 00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:56,070 It's disgusting, 275 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:57,270 and it was a terrible recommendation. 276 00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:59,140 Two, the Canadian cops think that my dad 277 00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:00,840 used his security clearance to smuggle in 278 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,910 over a thousand pills of Turgidol. 279 00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:04,680 Canadian erection medication. 280 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,250 Very potent. 281 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,880 What? I don't need it. 282 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,480 [whispers] But I love it. 283 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,790 Oh, boy. 284 00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:13,620 Three, the case against him looks pretty solid. 285 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,790 Four, he's never been a good dad to Jake. 286 00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:17,660 Five, he has been a good dad, 287 00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:20,130 especially from ages zero through seven 288 00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:22,030 and yesterday through forever. 289 00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:25,100 Six, nonstop dumps. 290 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,270 (Holt) Enough. How did you read these files? 291 00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:27,370 They're in French. 292 00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:29,100 Scully translated them for me. 293 00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:30,810 When I was nine, my parents took me to Paris, 294 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,710 and they accidentally left me at the Louvre. 295 00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:33,910 By the time they figured it out, 296 00:08:33,910 --> 00:08:35,280 they were already back in Queens. 297 00:08:35,310 --> 00:08:37,310 Okay, no one cares about your boring life, Scully. 298 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,510 This is about my dad and proving his innocence. 299 00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:41,280 Sir, I'd like to go to Canada for a few days 300 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,350 and help him out. 301 00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:44,220 Of course, but take Boyle with you. 302 00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,850 It'd be good to have an objective set of eyes. 303 00:08:45,850 --> 00:08:48,890 Fine, but under protest because he's a jerk. 304 00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:50,460 Also, we'd like to take Scully with us. 305 00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:51,660 Well, perfect. 306 00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:52,830 I do you a favor; You do me one too. 307 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,300 Thank you. 308 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,700 All right, there is no way we let Amy and the sarge 309 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,030 beat us. 310 00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:00,230 We sit here until we figure this thing out. 311 00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:01,730 Rosa, my mind is ready. 312 00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:03,270 Okay. 313 00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:04,710 "There's an island with 12 men." 314 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:08,180 Oh, I'm so bored. I cannot do it. 315 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,640 I can do this. 316 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,310 One guy's slightly heavier. 317 00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,850 There's a seesaw. 318 00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,580 I got it. 319 00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:17,280 You use the seesaw to press down on their necks 320 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,380 until fatty confesses. 321 00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:19,720 Incorrect. Damn. 322 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,460 And disturbing. 323 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,590 (Roger) Hello, ladies and gentlemen. 324 00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:24,230 This is your captain speaking. 325 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,690 That's my dad. 326 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,960 The captain talking right now, I came out of his body. 327 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,160 No big deal. 328 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,600 We're headed for an on-time arrival 329 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,830 in Drummondville, Quebec. 330 00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:33,470 Folks, this is a special flight for me, 331 00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:37,340 because sitting in seat 3B is my son, Jake Peralta, 332 00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:38,570 one of New York's finest. 333 00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:40,570 [applause] Oh. 334 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,580 Thanks, Dad! 335 00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,840 Love you too. 336 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:44,880 Got to admit, it was pretty nice of him 337 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,350 to bump us up to first class. 338 00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:49,120 Ugh, this plush fabric is making my rump sweat. 339 00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:50,950 Maybe you're just a little too uncultured 340 00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:54,550 to enjoy such a sophisticated kind of an experience. 341 00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:55,820 Oh, brother. 342 00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:58,420 [English accent] What do you say there, Scully, old boy? 343 00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,960 Look at this nut mix: 344 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,100 It's half cashews! 345 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,460 I hope we never land! 346 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,530 So loud. 347 00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:05,530 Hey, guys. 348 00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,170 How you enjoying the flight? 349 00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,540 So how's the case going? 350 00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:09,900 Oh, good. 351 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,110 We already have four suspects 352 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,440 who work at the airport, 353 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,610 and I want to talk to your girlfriend, Denise, 354 00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:14,770 because she had access to your bags. 355 00:10:14,810 --> 00:10:16,780 Not on the night in question. 356 00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:19,280 She's been spending some time at her place. 357 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,880 Relationships are complicated. 358 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,450 You cheated on her a bunch, and she found out. 359 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,690 Okay, I deserve that. 360 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,320 Charles, I have cheated on women in the past 361 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,450 and on this one too. 362 00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:29,990 You got a penchant for blondes. 363 00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:31,490 Hey, come on, you can't blame a guy 364 00:10:31,490 --> 00:10:33,630 for occasionally dropping anchor at the cold Commodore Club. 365 00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:35,630 [laughter] 366 00:10:35,630 --> 00:10:37,500 So seriously, Jake, this is going to be okay? 367 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,000 Oh, yeah. You're going to be fine. 368 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,570 Yeah. 369 00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:41,570 Oh, my God, Jake. 370 00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:42,870 Who's flying the plane? 371 00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:45,840 Co-pilot, Scully. Co-pilot. 372 00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:47,510 Okay, look. 373 00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:49,280 Let's try a new approach. 374 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,110 We weigh these three islanders 375 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,450 against these three islanders. 376 00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:54,520 If they weigh the same, 377 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,920 we eliminate them, 378 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:56,950 and if they don't, 379 00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:59,090 we... 380 00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:00,290 Where'd they go? 381 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,090 Terry's mouth is full of donuts. 382 00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:03,490 You said we could eliminate 'em! 383 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,060 Only if they weigh the same. 384 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,290 We've been here forever. 385 00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:07,490 I'm getting snacky. 386 00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:09,500 Fine. Let's start over. 387 00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:13,230 Okay, we balance three against three, 388 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,970 and if they weigh the same, 389 00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:17,200 we just... 390 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,810 What just happened? 391 00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:19,810 Come on, man. 392 00:11:19,810 --> 00:11:20,970 Stop eating the islanders. 393 00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:22,380 I'm saving them 394 00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:24,310 from this weight-obsessed nightmare island. 395 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,550 By murdering them? 396 00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,280 I warned you against using donuts. 397 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,280 They're my trigger food. 398 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,520 Mmm. Terry. 399 00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:32,050 These islanders are delicious. 400 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,790 Okay, so two of our suspects are in the baggage area. 401 00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:38,160 Do you think you can get us access? 402 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,330 You're with a pilot. I can get you in anywhere. 403 00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:42,400 Hey, you guys want a 10% discount 404 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,570 on duty-free maple syrup? 405 00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:45,800 Do I ever! 406 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,270 (man with French accent) Roger Peralta. 407 00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:49,270 Roger Peralta... [speaking French] 408 00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:50,270 Hey! What? 409 00:11:50,270 --> 00:11:51,710 Scully, what's going on? 410 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:52,840 [speaking French] 411 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,070 (Scully) "Roger Peralta is under arrest 412 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,480 for possession of a controlled substance." 413 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,110 What? [speaking French] 414 00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:58,810 "They found pills in his apartment." 415 00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:00,210 (Roger) Jake, I don't know what he's talking about. 416 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,520 I swear I don't know how those pills got in my apartment. 417 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:03,550 Wait. Jake. 418 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:04,690 Scully, tell them we're cops. 419 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:05,690 Tell them! 420 00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,750 [speaks French] 421 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:09,390 Shoot. 422 00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:10,390 That means "turnip." 423 00:12:10,390 --> 00:12:11,560 I said we were turnips. 424 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,590 I got it. Don't worry. 425 00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:14,230 We are turnips! 426 00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:15,830 Nope, that was English. Yeah. 427 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,460 The cops said your dad's being held without bail, 428 00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:20,890 they want us on the next flight out, 429 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,660 and that Bernard's is the best poutine place 430 00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:23,660 in the airport. 431 00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:24,700 You want some? 432 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,200 No, I don't want poutine right now. 433 00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,230 Yes! 434 00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:31,340 Man, I can't believe they found pills at my dad's place. 435 00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:32,470 That means none of our suspects 436 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:33,610 could've possibly done it. 437 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,370 Oh, my God, Boyle. 438 00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:38,280 Is there a chance that my dad is actually a drug smuggler? 439 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:39,950 Well, let's look at the facts. 440 00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:42,280 Drugs in his luggage, drugs in his apartment. 441 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,080 Terrible dad, terrible husband, 442 00:12:44,090 --> 00:12:45,820 cheats on his girlfriend. 443 00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:47,420 I think he did it. 444 00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:48,660 You're right. 445 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:49,660 He didn't do it. 446 00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:50,690 That's not what I said. 447 00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:52,290 No, you said he cheats on his girlfriend. 448 00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,830 Presumably, he has to do that with someone, 449 00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:56,260 and that someone would have access 450 00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:57,830 to his apartment and his bags. 451 00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:01,400 Dad dropped anchor at the Commodore's Club. 452 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,440 "Someone" is there. 453 00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:03,830 Even so, how do we get in there? 454 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,580 By wearing Dad's pilot uniforms. 455 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,070 No, Jake, I just don't think he's innocent, 456 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,080 and I just think... 457 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,080 So you don't want to be my co-pilot? 458 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,710 I'm in! 459 00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:12,910 (Norman Greenbaum) ♪ Going up to the spirit in the sky ♪ 460 00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:14,350 ♪ Spirit in the sky ♪ 461 00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:16,950 ♪ That's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪ 462 00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:18,290 ♪ When I die ♪ 463 00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:20,600 ♪ When I die and they lay me... ♪ 464 00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:21,620 Sorry, Scully. 465 00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:22,850 We only had two uniforms. 466 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,090 It's okay. 467 00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:25,730 For some reason, all the fries and gravy and cheese 468 00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:26,730 upset my tummy. 469 00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:27,790 (both) Huh. 470 00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:29,030 ♪ ♪ 471 00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:31,430 ♪ Going up to the spirit in the sky ♪ 472 00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:32,500 ♪ Spirit in the sky ♪ 473 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,540 ♪ That's where I'm gonna ♪ 474 00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:37,820 Are you here because you've solved my brain teaser? 475 00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:40,750 Sir, you've been an underdog your whole life. 476 00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:43,820 But you defied the odds by having others 477 00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:45,630 secretly help you 478 00:13:45,630 --> 00:13:47,230 'cause you didn't have what it took. 479 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,260 That's not my story. 480 00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:49,400 But now we're the underdogs, 481 00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:51,230 and we're the ones who need a handout, 482 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:53,840 so just tell us the answer. 483 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,870 Or have you forgotten where you come from? 484 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,340 I'm not gonna help you. 485 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,770 I told you that was not gonna work. 486 00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:00,940 Stop the clock. 487 00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,310 We're here, and we have the solution. 488 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,580 First, you weigh six versus six. 489 00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,270 Wrong. That'll never work. 490 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,890 You just wasted your time and mine. 491 00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:12,020 Click! 492 00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,760 I just captured the exact moment 493 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,760 when you realized you had failed. 494 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:16,960 I guess we all got 495 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,090 something out of this. 496 00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:19,190 (Holt) So that's it? 497 00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,530 This problem is beyond all of you? 498 00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:21,530 No one solved it. 499 00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:22,700 Believe me. 500 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,930 No one is more disappointed in me than me. 501 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:28,140 "Than I," Santiago. 502 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,970 [whispering] Click. 503 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,240 Hi there. Yeah, that's us. 504 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,250 Home sweet home. 505 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,250 Got dem wings. 506 00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:39,410 Yeah. 507 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,420 Ooh. Okay. 508 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,180 Boom, right there, behind the bar. 509 00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:43,550 That's my dad's type. 510 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,990 Oh, he likes 'em neat and clean, real tidy. 511 00:14:45,990 --> 00:14:46,990 What? 512 00:14:46,990 --> 00:14:48,520 No, blondes. He likes blondes. 513 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,620 All right, here's the plan. 514 00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:50,620 We're gonna go sit down, 515 00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:51,790 order a couple of drinks, 516 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,460 grab her fingerprints off the glass she serves us, 517 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,260 and then measure her wrist for handcuff size. 518 00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:56,260 Ready? Yeah. 519 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,870 Oh, crazy flight. 520 00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:59,170 (Charles) Oh, those hydraulics were loud. 521 00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:00,740 Yeah. 522 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:03,140 Ah, bonjour, bonjour. 523 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,310 Two whiskeys, please, Chantelle. 524 00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:06,840 Thanks. 525 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,010 Say, I'm looking for an old sky pal of mine. 526 00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,310 Do you know Roger Peralta? 527 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,980 Yes. Yes, I do. 528 00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:13,380 How do you guys know Peralta? 529 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,950 Oh, I used to fly with him back in Oregon. 530 00:15:14,950 --> 00:15:16,280 My name's Captain Spike Masters. 531 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,720 This is my co-pilot Wanda Cohen. 532 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:18,720 (Charles) I drive the plane when he sleeps. 533 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,060 I also take care of hotel accommodations. 534 00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:22,520 Where'd you guys say you flew in from? 535 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,590 Akron. Luxembourg. 536 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,890 Connected in Akron. 537 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:28,230 Took the old 78... 9er on the wind stream. 538 00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,760 You know, flight stuff. 539 00:15:29,770 --> 00:15:30,770 Anyhow... 540 00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:31,770 [sighs] 541 00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:33,300 Can we grab those two whiskeys, please? 542 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,340 I do not know who you are, 543 00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:35,640 and I do not think you are pilots. 544 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,210 Your suit doesn't even fit. 545 00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:38,540 Ah. 546 00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:39,740 I had my stomach stapled. 547 00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,610 Sécurité! Sécurité! 548 00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:43,610 [speaking French] 549 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,610 Ah! Unhand us. 550 00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:46,910 This is outrageous. 551 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,880 I demand to speak with the commodore himself. 552 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,150 There's no way we'll get her fingerprints now. 553 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,950 Oh, really? 554 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:53,960 Voilà. 555 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,120 French. 556 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,760 She cleaned the bar quite thoroughly, 557 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,260 but this bottle is filthy with her prints. 558 00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,260 Smurt. 559 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,360 That's why you're the pilot, 560 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,360 and I'm the co-pilot. 561 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,130 Copy that, Wanda. 562 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,830 Copy that. 563 00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:07,270 Wanda Cohen. 564 00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,500 (Rosa) Wait, Captain. 565 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,370 Gina and I figured out your dumb brain teaser. 566 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,540 I highly doubt that, sir. 567 00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:13,880 I'll judge for myself, Santiago. 568 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,040 Okay, Diaz. 569 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,440 What's the solution? 570 00:16:16,450 --> 00:16:17,450 We have no idea. 571 00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:18,450 Ha! Told ya. 572 00:16:18,450 --> 00:16:19,710 But neither do you, sir. 573 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:20,720 What? 574 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:21,720 Captain Holt, 575 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:22,980 you don't know what the solution is. 576 00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:24,220 Excuse me? 577 00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:25,520 Here's how we cracked it. 578 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,220 I took the photo of you demolishing Amy's spirit 579 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:32,290 and made these clever T-shirts that say, "#nerdfail." 580 00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:33,630 It's not that clever. 581 00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:34,930 It's hilarious. 582 00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:36,200 Look at this. 583 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,570 Your expression is the same as Amy's 584 00:16:39,570 --> 00:16:40,940 because you're both devastated 585 00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:42,300 that you just let down your mentors. 586 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,840 (Gina) I looked at your calendar. 587 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,170 You're supposed to have breakfast with your old c.o. 588 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:48,280 You wanted us to solve the problem before you saw him. 589 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,810 That's crazy. 590 00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:50,810 She's right. 591 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:51,980 What? No. 592 00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,850 He posed that problem to me 20 years ago. 593 00:16:54,850 --> 00:16:56,150 Every time I see him, he asks, 594 00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:57,250 "Do you have the answer yet?" 595 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,420 And I never have. 596 00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:01,120 Those islanders and their pathetic seesaw 597 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,460 haunt my dreams. 598 00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:04,260 They mock me in my sleep, 599 00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:08,660 riding up and down on a teeter-totter of taunts. 600 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:09,660 Cool. 601 00:17:09,670 --> 00:17:11,700 So who gets the Beyoncé tickets? 602 00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:16,640 (Jake) ♪ O Canada ♪ 603 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,580 ♪ You home of crappy cops ♪ 604 00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,610 Guess who just freed his dad from Canadian prison 605 00:17:22,610 --> 00:17:24,310 and slammed six free mimosas 606 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:25,850 on the first-class flight home 607 00:17:25,850 --> 00:17:27,520 sans the juice? 608 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,620 Spoiler alert, it was Jake. 609 00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:29,620 It was me. 610 00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:30,950 So turns out 611 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,190 my dad's sidepiece framed him. 612 00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:33,390 She was hella pissed 613 00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,360 'cause she found out about his real girlfriend 614 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:36,490 and his other sidepiece. 615 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,490 So yeah. 616 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,390 Turns out my dad is a great guy after all. 617 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,030 And in celebration of my freedom, 618 00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:43,830 I'm taking everybody out tonight. 619 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:44,830 Drinks are on me. 620 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,030 (Jake) Eh? 621 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,400 Where's Scully? 622 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,640 Scully. Oh, no. 623 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,640 Who? 624 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:55,840 (Jake) Hey, Hank. 625 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,010 When you see my dad walk in, 626 00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:58,110 can you dim the lights 627 00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,150 and play We Are the Champions? 628 00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:00,310 No. 629 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,450 I don't know what your dad looks like, 630 00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:02,550 I don't have the song... [phone chimes] 631 00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:03,890 And the lights aren't on dimmers. 632 00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:05,250 Oh, no. It's okay, Jake. 633 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,220 You give me the signal, I'll start unscrewing bulbs. 634 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,420 No, my dad just texted. 635 00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:10,790 He's not coming. 636 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,560 To Jake's dad! 637 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,060 [all cheer] 638 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,630 Yep. 639 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:19,610 Sorry, Jake. 640 00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:20,740 I'm sure your dad has a really good reason 641 00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,750 for not being here. 642 00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,480 No, don't do that, all right? 643 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,580 Don't let him off the hook. 644 00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:26,020 That's what I've done my whole life. 645 00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,890 You know, when he missed my 11th birthday, 646 00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:31,720 I blamed myself for being born on a peak travel day. 647 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,460 You were right about him, Boyle. 648 00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,030 So what do we do now? 649 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,430 Hug for ten minutes. 650 00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:37,590 No, give me a rain check on the hug. 651 00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,360 There's something I got to do. 652 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,300 You can have my beer. Cool. 653 00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,770 [knocks on door] 654 00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:45,440 Jake. 655 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,140 I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the party. 656 00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:50,370 I'm subbing for a buddy who's got an early flight. 657 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,510 I'm sure you're upset. 658 00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:53,340 No, actually, I'm not upset at all. 659 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,340 Yeah? 660 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,350 Great. 661 00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:56,810 No, more relieved. 662 00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:59,120 You know, you were always my hero, 663 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,820 but I think I'm finally starting to see you 664 00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:01,850 for who you really are: 665 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,550 A regional airline pilot 666 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,990 whose landings are bumpy as hell 667 00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:06,260 and a pretty selfish guy 668 00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:08,330 who genuinely doesn't care about being a dad. 669 00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:11,630 Jake, you don't understand. 670 00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:14,000 There was a downdraft on the Drummondville runway. 671 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,700 Oh, wow. 672 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:16,700 It's not my fault. 673 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,200 Yeah, clearly. 674 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,640 Look, I've been making excuses for you my whole life, 675 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,740 but you're a pretty crappy father, 676 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:25,940 and until you're ready to be a good one, 677 00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:28,180 don't call me. 678 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,610 Also I'm taking your captain hat 679 00:19:29,610 --> 00:19:32,380 because it's cool, and I want it. 680 00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:35,220 (Norman Greenbaum) ♪ Going up to the spirit in the sky ♪ 681 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:36,690 ♪ Spirit in the sky ♪ 682 00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:39,190 ♪ That's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪ 683 00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:40,560 I got to say, 684 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,330 figuring out Captain Holt didn't know the answer 685 00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:43,490 was an incredible solve. 686 00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:45,160 I'm sorry if we implied you weren't smart. 687 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,330 Oh, and I'm sorry if we implied 688 00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:48,930 you're both asexual nerds 689 00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:51,370 who can only be friends with service animals. 690 00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:52,370 You didn't. 691 00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:53,500 (Rosa) Not to your face, 692 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,040 but to a ton of people behind your back. 693 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,040 Thanks for the drink. 694 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,710 Yes. 695 00:19:57,710 --> 00:19:58,810 Next round's on me. 696 00:19:58,810 --> 00:19:59,940 It's the least I can do 697 00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:02,750 for teasing your brains so mercilessly. 698 00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:04,680 So what are you gonna say to your old c.o. tomorrow 699 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,280 when he asks if you've solved the puzzle? 700 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,280 I don't know. 701 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,650 Thanks for bringing that up. 702 00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:10,050 Fun chat. 703 00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:11,690 (Gina) Just say you're a captain now, 704 00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:12,890 and you're busy running a precinct, 705 00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:14,860 so he can go suck an egg. 706 00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,230 Or we can all work together 707 00:20:16,230 --> 00:20:17,530 all night long, 708 00:20:17,530 --> 00:20:19,300 and I'm sure we can eventually figure it out. 709 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,730 I like that, Terry. It shows real heart. 710 00:20:21,730 --> 00:20:24,270 But I'm going with Gina's "suck an egg" idea. 711 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:27,300 You get the Beyoncé tickets. 712 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,470 Oh-ho-ho-ho! 713 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:30,870 Of course I do. 714 00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:31,940 I told you. 715 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,940 It was my birthright, you bitches. 716 00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:39,920 Superglue your panties to your butts, ladies, 717 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,790 because Jake is in the house! 718 00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:44,050 What? 719 00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:45,060 Never mind. 720 00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,060 I'm a little drunk. Ah. 721 00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:47,820 I'm also worried about you. 722 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,230 Come here. Ten-minute hug time. 723 00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:50,230 I'd rather not. 724 00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:52,530 Come on. Okay. 725 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,360 Boyle, release him. 726 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,600 Fine, only because you're ordering me to. 727 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,140 There's nine minutes left on that hug. 728 00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,440 Great. 729 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,000 Heh. 730 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:02,410 Nice job in Quebec. 731 00:21:02,410 --> 00:21:04,880 I bet the local cops weren't happy you showed them up. 732 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,210 Yeah, well, maybe not at first. 733 00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:09,050 But by the end, they kept calling me a real bâtard, 734 00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:10,750 which I can only assume means "hero." 735 00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:11,980 It means "bastard," 736 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,680 but that's only because they were jealous. 737 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,850 You did good work. 738 00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:15,850 Here. 739 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,290 Is this an allowance? 740 00:21:17,290 --> 00:21:18,520 Are you giving me an allowance? 741 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,460 No, I'm paying the bartender for more drinks. 742 00:21:20,460 --> 00:21:21,590 Oh, right. 743 00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:23,860 I'm proud of you. 744 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,430 (Charles) Nine minutes start now!