1 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,773 (Fox theme drumbeats) 2 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,009 This one I call "the writer's journey." 3 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:13,281 -Stuck between two thoughts. -Mm-hmm. 4 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,183 Lifelike. Wow. 5 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,617 -What the...? -I'm sorry about that. 6 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,287 -Cooper's my social media director. -Open your mouth. 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,955 -You're the boss. -COOPER: Nice. 8 00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:25,159 -What magazine is this again? -Teen BeTween the Lines. 9 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,294 -Ma'am, you're in the shot. -Ma'am, you're in the shot. 10 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,362 -Oh, I'm... Okay. -Still in the shot. 11 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,198 -You're in the shot. In the shot. -So... Oh. 12 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,833 -Really? I guess this is on me. -Good. 13 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,136 -I could've gone left or right. -NICK: Guys, let's take five. 14 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:38,672 Or as Pepperwood would always say, "Keep your knife dry." 15 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,142 -#KeepYourKnife... -(chuckles) Half that. 16 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,377 -#KeepTheKnifeDry. -Hashtag. 17 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,479 Oof. I've got to go meet with my editor. 18 00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:47,348 We're gonna talk about the latest Pepperwood. 19 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,983 Oh, the one you wrote in Europe? He's gonna love it. (chuckles) 20 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:51,819 Way more than the last book he published, 21 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,987 Dede, the Girl with A.D.D. 22 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,023 That wouldn't even keep my attention. 23 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,326 -Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo. Burn. -(laughs) Burn. 24 00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,661 You got a lot of edge this morning, sister. 25 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,396 Damn right I do. I'm a working girl now. 26 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,997 Russell and I are building libraries. 27 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,666 He's got me rolling up my sleeves 28 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,235 to make it happen. (chuckles) 29 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,337 Hi, this is Jessica Day from the Schiller Fund. 30 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:12,173 I'm just calling to make sure this is still the number 31 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,208 for a Mr. Marvin Linklever. 32 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,709 It is? I'll put a check by your name. 33 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:16,744 When you're done with the "L"s, 34 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,346 this is the first batch of "M"s. 35 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:19,513 Sounds like a lot of busywork. 36 00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:20,548 You cool with that? 37 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,183 I'm leaning toward no. 38 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,353 -(camera shutter clicking) -I'm listening. 39 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:28,356 But at least I have time to have lunch with my girl Cece. 40 00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:30,424 We're celebrating me getting this... 41 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,526 -glamorous new job. -WINSTON: Oh, hell yeah. (whoops) 42 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,262 Hey, what's up, guys? What are you doing here? 43 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,729 Check this out. Look what I found. 44 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,431 Three Men and a Little Box Set. 45 00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:39,200 The lady and the baby. 46 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,901 -I got to watch this. -JESS: Winston. 47 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,570 -Hmm? -How long have you been here? 48 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,372 Not long, like, three, four, five hours. 49 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,240 -Something like that. -You don't live here, man. 50 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,942 -I'm doing a slow move. -(phone ringing) -Oh. Mm. Duty calls. 51 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,379 (chuckles) It's Russell. My boss. 52 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:55,048 Hey, Russell, what's up? What you got? Oh, big meeting today. 53 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,451 Yeah, I'll, um... I'll get some parking cones. 54 00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:58,952 -Ma'am, you're in the shot. -I am? 55 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,388 Yeah, still in the shot. Still. Still. 56 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,256 In the shot, in the shot, in the shot, in the shot, 57 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,657 -in the shot... -Hold on, Russell, 58 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,058 I just have to crawl out of my apartment. 59 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,727 In the shot, in the shot, in the shot, 60 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,262 in the shot, in the shot, in the shot, in the shot, 61 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,597 in the shot, in the shot, in the shot, in the... 62 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,632 * 63 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,435 Cece, I was up all night 64 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,537 trying to put Ruth to sleep. I'm losing my mind. 65 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,207 I feel like I'm in the third act of a Darren Aronofsky film. 66 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,310 -Cheers, Daddy! -Yeah, tell me about it. I'm wiped, too. 67 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:24,678 I think I put on your underwear this morning. 68 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:26,547 If I'm being totally honest, I wore your underpants once 69 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,781 to a yoga class. 70 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,517 Ruth, do you want to go to sleep? 71 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:33,287 -No way. -If you do, I'll write you a check for $6,000. 72 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:35,055 Checks! Checks! Yay, checks! 73 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,824 -That didn't quite go as planned. -Yay! -You know what, 74 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,293 all I actually have to do is get to this lunch with Jess. 75 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,995 -Which is gonna be really fun. -RUTH: Let's play patty-cake. 76 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,298 Sorry to talk about a fun lunch while you're at home. 77 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:47,301 No, look, we have a kid now. 78 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,969 One of us should be enjoying our lives. 79 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,171 (yawning): Yeah, you're right. We should enjoy our lives. 80 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,974 Go to your adult lunch. Eat, drink, 81 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,143 and come home and tell me of the world out there. 82 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,312 Remember me to the people. 83 00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,680 Cece, 84 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,615 -I-I love you. -(snoring softly) 85 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,484 C-Cece? Hello? 86 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,620 -Play patty-cake. -I'm trying. 87 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:10,190 Nick... (chuckles) I don't know where to begin. 88 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:14,127 I know. Pepperwood's growing up. He's becoming... transcendent. 89 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,464 Unbearable. What is this fluff? 90 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,366 You've got two chapters of Pepperwood and Jessica Night 91 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,000 in bed eating croissants. 92 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,370 They chase a feather down a cobblestone street? 93 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:25,339 -He fell in love, Merle. And then he was reborn. -(sighs) 94 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:27,475 And it's sweet when you think about it like that. 95 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:30,844 Okay, I've seen this a million times. Your life has changed, 96 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,480 and now you've lost his voice. 97 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,181 I can't publish this. 98 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,149 What? 99 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,985 -What are you saying? Pepperwood's over? -Maybe it's 100 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,854 run its course. Maybe it's time to move on to something new. 101 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:44,224 -You have other ideas, right? -Oh, yeah, a ton of 'em. 102 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,826 -Okay. All right. -So many. 103 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,662 -Great. -In my computer drawer at home. 104 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:49,897 Well, why don't you come in tomorrow, 105 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,231 pitch me your best three, 106 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,500 and we'll see what we got. 107 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,569 No. I want to pitch you my best ten. 108 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:56,570 (both laugh) 109 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:57,705 I'm gonna pitch you three. 110 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,407 Let's make it three. That seems... 111 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,875 (gasps) Hey, girl! Hey, girl! 112 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,578 -I love that we are doing this. -So good to see you! 113 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,814 -Celebrating your new job. -Two hardworking ladies. 114 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:10,418 * Work hard, play hard, work hard, play hard * 115 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,353 -* Work hard, play h... * -(yawns) Okay. 116 00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:13,754 Let's sit down. I'm beat. 117 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,256 Ruth was up all night. 118 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,191 Hey, excuse me, young man, could we get two glasses 119 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:19,893 -of Chardonnay? -Chardonnay! 120 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,195 -And a pot of coffee. -We are doing this. 121 00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:24,698 We are doing it! (sighs) So, Ruth is pretty tough, 122 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,367 but even if she's not sleeping, 123 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,370 at least she's not still potty training. 124 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,204 -Ooh...! -(gasps) 125 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,006 -What, baby? -It's happening. 126 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,909 Okay. Here we go. Here we go. 127 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,045 -SCHMIDT: Occupied! -Why is Daddy still in the bathroom? 128 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,914 I don't know, honey. This'll do. This is great. 129 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,751 Okay, and... (panting) 130 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:47,054 (sighs) That was a close one. 131 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:50,023 Honestly, I'm just craving some adult time. 132 00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,225 Oh. You're quick with it. I like that. 133 00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,728 Yeah. We're here to celebrate you. 134 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,930 So, tell me about the job. 135 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,600 You know, it's great. It's, um, you know, a big office. 136 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,235 Fueling fires. Making a difference. 137 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:05,272 -Make that money. I love that. (chuckles) -Mm. 138 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,278 Okay. 139 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,582 Mmm. Honestly, I'm probably gonna quit after lunch. 140 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:17,084 -What? -Cool if we call this your treat? 141 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,255 Right. Heroin's in the diaper pail, 142 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,924 baby wipes are in the cabinet. 143 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,059 Oh, man, she's so lucky to have three dads. 144 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,429 (chuckles) Hey, have you seen this? 145 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,599 -Come on, man. -These three goofballs just hid heroin 146 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,934 in the baby's diaper disposal. 147 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,837 -What a ride! -Winston, why are you still here? 148 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,072 -Shh! Shh! -To have fun. -Why are you here? 149 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,442 (quietly): Keep it down. Ruth is napping. 150 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:42,910 In my bed? You put that kid to sleep in... 151 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,311 Yes, and I changed the sheets. 152 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,681 It's very clear to me what side of the bed you sleep on. 153 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,983 -Busted. -Ruth hasn't slept in 24 hours, 154 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,285 so I drove her around in my car. She told me she had to pee, 155 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:53,320 so I brought her here. 156 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,288 She nodded off on the toilet. 157 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,524 It was very cute. 158 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,759 Honestly, it reminded me of you. 159 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,494 -That's great... -I took 70 pictures. 160 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:01,795 -But that's... -Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 161 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,497 -Are you guys seeing this? -(groans softly) 162 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,298 (chuckles) I just thought of it just now. 163 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:08,301 Three Men and a Little Lady. One, two, three. 164 00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:09,970 We should do this movie with Ruth. 165 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,706 Winston, you cannot do a movie. 166 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,643 What is that goon Guttenberg painting on the walls? 167 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,645 Words sound weird to me when I'm this tired. 168 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,481 That ever happen to you? Like, Gu-Guttenberg. 169 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,815 Gu... 170 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,817 -Gu... -Gu... 171 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,986 -Enough, guys! -Gu'enberg. 172 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,489 Merle hated my last draft. He said Pepperwood is over. 173 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,657 -What? -I'll kill him. 174 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,525 He wants me to pitch new ideas by tomorrow. 175 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,160 You can't tell ideas to a dead man. 176 00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:36,497 Winston, stop! Nobody's killing anybody. 177 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,566 -Okay. -But the truth is, I do have something new. 178 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,568 And I'd like to pitch it to you guys. 179 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,570 -He's tough. -Okay. 180 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,337 -He's controversial. -Ooh-hoo-hoo. 181 00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:46,039 He's pro-choice. 182 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,841 He's Senator Porcupine. 183 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,376 Pass. Pa-Pass in the room. 184 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,679 -Uh, question for the author. -No, thank you. 185 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,847 Senator Porcupine-- how does he put on a tie? 186 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:54,848 Good question. 187 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,183 Ow! 188 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,518 -Oh, geez. -Aah! 189 00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,553 -(groans) -Aah! -Mm. 190 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:01,221 I don't know. With-with his mouth? 191 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,090 -Mm. -That's what I'm saying-- I don't have the answer. 192 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,358 I mean, Pepperwood was all that I had. Now I've got nothing. 193 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,027 I feel like I'm, like, a wood-maker 194 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,296 who can't make any, um... 195 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,865 -Wood. -Wood. -Wood! See, I don't have anything! 196 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,701 I knew it! I got nothing! 197 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,202 (door slams) 198 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,870 RUTH: I'm awake! 199 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,772 Hey, I think Ruth is awake. 200 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,542 You think, Winston? 201 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,243 Wait, so, you're saying 202 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,578 that you're doing Russell's busywork? 203 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,047 That you, Jessica Day, former principal 204 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,417 of an entire school, is doing his busywork? 205 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,721 Nah, girl. Nah, hold up. One sec. 206 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,723 How's that wine and coffee combination treating you? 207 00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,057 My heart is beating really fast, 208 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,059 but time is moving really slow, 209 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,894 -so it all kind of evens out. -Hmm. 210 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,062 Wait, why are you quitting? 211 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,396 He has a couple guys he trusts, 212 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,898 and I just get left out of all the major decisions. 213 00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:46,266 -Typical. -Heads up, 214 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,267 you're putting sugar in your wine. 215 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,636 I made a boo-boo. 216 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:49,937 Let's just... 217 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,740 No, I made a yum-yum. 218 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,908 -You know what the craziest thing is? -Tell me. 219 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,910 Every Tuesday, he has these lunch meetings 220 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,579 with a couple of guys from the office, 221 00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:01,582 -and he's never once invited me. -Babe. 222 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:04,952 -Yes, babe. -Every woman has a "Tuesday meeting" 223 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,386 they haven't been invited to. 224 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,088 How many times in your life 225 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,923 have you been excluded 226 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,859 from something important or talked over 227 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,828 or ignored because you're the only woman in the room? 228 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,063 It was different 229 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,297 when I was running my own company, 230 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,299 but ever since we joined with GKM, 231 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,003 I've had to start dealing with this male-pattern dumbness. 232 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,105 (pumping) 233 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,040 MAN: Ugh. 234 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,276 -What is that? -It's a breast pump, Ken. 235 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,678 I said I needed time to pump, and you refused 236 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,379 to change the meeting, so here we are. 237 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:33,847 Now, for the jeans campaign. 238 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,482 Which one of these guys says, 239 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,318 "I'm having fun in Toronto"? 240 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,419 (pumping continues) 241 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,821 So, for half an hour, 242 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,623 they had to sit there 243 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:46,026 and watch me get milked like a freaking cow. 244 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,294 Oh, yeah, your nipples looked like pizza bagels 245 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,296 -in that thing. -Yeah, they do. 246 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,198 You know what? This is not the first time 247 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,634 -I've been left out of a Tuesday meeting. -Mm-hmm. 248 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,402 Remember my first job in administration? 249 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,504 The budget's still too high. 250 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,640 You know, I think it might be the number of field trips 251 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:00,974 we've been going on? 252 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,342 What about the number of field trips? 253 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,476 Yes, exactly. 254 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,579 -Great idea. -I literally just said that. 255 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:06,814 I think we're gonna need 256 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,448 to take it out of the transportation budget. 257 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,183 Here's a crazy idea. 258 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:13,320 What if we take it out of the transportation budget? 259 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,322 MEN (chanting): Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, 260 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,324 Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben! 261 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,859 I've been left out of Tuesday meetings 262 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,493 -as long as I can remember. -Yes. 263 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,062 Exactly. The system is broke, 264 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,530 and I can't feel my face. 265 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,365 -Is that a good thing? -I don't know. 266 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,836 Oh, that belongs in the fire. 267 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:31,438 -Whoa. -Oh, hey, guys. 268 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,540 What do you got here, buddy? A little room fire? 269 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,708 That seems safe. 270 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,209 Oh, don't worry, I got this. 271 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,846 (sniffs) 272 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,413 Oh, I should've known that was whiskey. Oh. 273 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,516 (whoops) 274 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,352 Guys, please let me hate myself 275 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,554 and everything that I have created. 276 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,022 That's it. I have to call Merle. 277 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,858 I'm gonna tell him that I've got nothing. 278 00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:51,992 -My career's over. -(sighs) 279 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,026 Pepperwood was all that I had. 280 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,227 I'm done. 281 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,329 -I'm three. -Everybody knows that, Ruth. 282 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,931 Okay, look, Nick, you're not gonna call Merle. 283 00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,701 (yawning): Okay, you're gonna go in there tomorrow, 284 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,002 and you're gonna do... 285 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,737 Wake up, Daddy. 286 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,706 You're gonna do an A-plus, 287 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,507 perfect-style job. 288 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,242 Nick, you have a ton of ideas, okay? 289 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,577 A lot of i... 290 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,213 ...idea notebooks. 291 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,882 -I don't want to hear this. -WINSTON: Here we go. 292 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,784 Oh, never mind, that's a maze you drew. 293 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,386 Yeah, you drew a maze... then couldn't solve it. 294 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,221 You went straight for the wall. 295 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,255 It was a hard maze. 296 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,957 This one is just a list of words 297 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,258 that rhyme with "moon." 298 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,760 But then right away, 299 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:29,763 it's "bun." "Moon, spoon, loon, bun"? 300 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,598 The heck is this? 301 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,233 There was no other words that rhymed with "moon." 302 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,235 -"Tune"? -That's what I'm saying. I don't have a... 303 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,569 Pepperwood was all that I had. 304 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:37,905 I've got nothing. 305 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,940 You're Mr. Diarrhea Head. 306 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,241 Please don't say that to me right now. 307 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,242 I'm going through a thing right now, 308 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,476 so please don't say that to me. 309 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:44,577 I'm asking you, please don't call me that. 310 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,213 Okay, Mr. Diarrhea Head. 311 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,615 No, you're the Diarrhea Head. 312 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,251 Okay? Schmidt, what would you like me to do here? 313 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,419 What do you want from me? What am I supposed to do? 314 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,788 Uh, you used to love fixing my life. 315 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,224 Before... (grunts) came around. 316 00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,325 SCHMIDT: It's different times. 317 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,327 I got to wipe her butt. I got to wipe my butt. 318 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,729 I can't wipe your butt, too. 319 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,430 Can I get in on that? 320 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,965 Never mind. 321 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,433 That's it, I'm done. I'm calling Merle, 322 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,968 and I'm telling him I don't have any ideas. 323 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,103 Ruth, honey, will you please watch Uncle Nick 324 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:11,438 while Uncle Winston and I 325 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,040 have a conversation? 326 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,607 Fine. Follow me. 327 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,810 I'll follow you if I want to follow you. 328 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,946 -Let's go. -Okay. I'm coming. 329 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,948 If anyone's the boss between us, it's me. 330 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,315 -RUTH: I'm the boss. -(door closes) 331 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,817 You know something, I used to think 332 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,318 that Nick was the Guttenberg, 333 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,553 but it turns out 334 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,321 he may be the little lady. 335 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,823 Winston, I need you to focus here. 336 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,825 We have a spiraling man on our hands. 337 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,126 We just need to remind him 338 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,762 that he has good ideas. 339 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,830 Do we have any other idea notebooks? 340 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,966 Because this is just nonsense. I read it, 341 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:40,667 and I don't want to be friends with him anymore. 342 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,302 Maybe... 343 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,004 it doesn't have to be his writing. 344 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,806 -It could be from anything. -Hmm. 345 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,340 -Just find something. -You know what, yes. 346 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,842 Yes. Um... 347 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,878 Okay. 348 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:54,447 Here we go. "All reactionaries are paper tigers. 349 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,817 "In appearance the reactionaries are terrifying, 350 00:11:56,850 --> 00:12:00,420 but, in reality, they are not so powerful." 351 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,922 -That really grabs you. -Yeah. 352 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,457 -What is that? -It's, uh... Mao's Little Red Book. 353 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,827 The Chinese communist manifesto? 354 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,295 Yes. 355 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,864 Read that again. 356 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,867 (whispering): "All reactionaries are paper tigers..." 357 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,502 You know what I don't get? 358 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:18,138 When did I start thinking it was my fault? Is that good? 359 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,373 -Mm-hmm. -Why am I the one who has to quit? 360 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,842 Yes! That's right. You know what? 361 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,176 Tell me what day it is. 362 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,445 It's... Tuesday. 363 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,546 Tell me where we're going. 364 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,015 To the Tuesday meeting. 365 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,049 The last Tuesday meeting 366 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,350 I won't be invited to. 367 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,718 -Mm-hmm. -Add this to the agenda, 368 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:32,986 you jagbags. 369 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,454 That's right. I am drunk right now 370 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:35,889 and very awake! 371 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,991 Daddy got me this dress. 372 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:40,193 Well, you know, your dad used to, uh, dress me, too, Ruth. 373 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,162 -Why? -Uh, because he cared. 374 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,297 -Why? -I don't really know, but he did. 375 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,267 -Why? -Before you, I was his baby girl. 376 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,368 WINSTON: Nick. 377 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,702 Look what we just found. 378 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,704 A forgotten masterpiece. 379 00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,640 You've got to hear this. You've still got it. 380 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,708 "All reactionaries are paper tigers. 381 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:58,711 "In appearance the reactionaries are terrifying, 382 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,080 "but in reality, 383 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,749 they are not so powerful." 384 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,651 And that? That's just the beginning. 385 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,219 I mean, I don't remember writing it. 386 00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,888 It does sound like something I would write. 387 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:10,257 Just think about it. You're always saying stuff like, 388 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,160 "In reality, they are not so powerful." 389 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,395 -In terms of the reactionaries. -Ha ha! 390 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,364 -I wrote that? -Check that out, man. That's you. 391 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,066 -That's crazy. -Let me take a peek at that. 392 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,233 You just need to believe in yourself, Nick. 393 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,102 You've still got it. It's powerful. 394 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,837 It's v-very... it's-it's powerful stuff. 395 00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,405 Well, I think it's pretty clear. 396 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,940 I'm back, boys. 397 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,608 -Whoa! Shut up! -(Nick laughs) 398 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,910 I'm an awesome writer. 399 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,544 -Yeah, you are, man. -You're v... you're v... 400 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,480 -you're very... you're very good. -You're the best. 401 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:39,086 If I were a red shoe, where would I hide? 402 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,388 -I'm going over here. Ah. -Oh, my God. (laughs) 403 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,423 Uh, what about back here? No. (screams) 404 00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:44,724 (laughs) You got to be crazy. 405 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,860 (quietly): Turn that down! 406 00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,129 Ruth is finally asleep. Also, what are you doing here? 407 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,430 Did my wife give you a key? 408 00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,265 Yeah. For emergencies. 409 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:53,466 What is the emergency? 410 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,767 If they don't get the little lady 411 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,103 back from England... 412 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,438 -man, they may never see her again. -Oh, forget it. 413 00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,273 If you're gonna watch that, turn on the closed captioning. 414 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,442 If Ruth wakes up again, I'm gonna plotz my pants. 415 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,777 -Oh, Schmidt, are you here? Winston! -Shh! Shh! Shh! 416 00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:05,845 Winston Bishop... 417 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,116 I'll do it again. 418 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,218 Shh! 419 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,619 SCHMIDT (whispering): Don't do this. Shh! 420 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,787 Please. Why aren't you writing? 421 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,124 I was writing, but I got so inspired by the pages 422 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,459 that you found that I drove straight to Merle's office. 423 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,328 "Revolutionary culture 424 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,463 "is a powerful revolutionary weapon 425 00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,632 for the broad masses of the people." 426 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,500 Hey, w-what do you call this again? 427 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,502 -Johnny's Big Day at Work. -Nice. 428 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,404 I have another title for you. 429 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,941 -Mao's Little Red Book?! -Shh! Please, voices. 430 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,976 -Mao's Little Red Book?! -Voices. Voices! 431 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,677 -You lied. -Shh. 432 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,012 You lied to me. 433 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,080 Don't look at it as a lie. 434 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,982 -All right. -Look at it as not a lie, 435 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,683 and then... and then you're fine. 436 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,652 And now I'm not just a hack with bad ideas, 437 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,988 -but I'm a filthy commie! -Shh. Please! 438 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,222 And you know I'm no commie! 439 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,423 I don't know your personal beliefs. 440 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,724 -You don't know my personal beliefs? -Enough! 441 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:52,825 Those are fightin' words. 442 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,161 We didn't think that you were gonna give 443 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,195 those actual pages to your editor. 444 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,364 We were just trying to inspire you. 445 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,531 Also, why do you own that book? 446 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,000 You see a red book, you buy a red book. 447 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,668 -What do you do with blue books? -Don't buy. 448 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,203 -Yellow books? -Wait on it. 449 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,671 -That's true. -Hi, Daddy. 450 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,974 No. Good God, child. 451 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:09,176 Oh... my... God. 452 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,211 I know what we need to do. 453 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:15,448 * Goodnight, sweetheart, well, my friends are liars * 454 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,850 SCHMIDT: * We were just trying * 455 00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,352 * To help you write... * 456 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,021 Guys, you see what we're doing? 457 00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,855 We're doing Three Men and a Baby. 458 00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,891 -Winston, you cannot do a movie. -Can't do a movie. 459 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,060 Yes, you can. You can do any movie except for a documentary, 460 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,528 because those already happened. 461 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:29,796 Harmony on three. 462 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,164 One, two, three. 463 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:34,801 * Goodnight... * 464 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,203 I'm not tired. 465 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,372 -Knock-knock, Russell. -Who's there? 466 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,873 -Two women. -Two women who? 467 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,476 -Two women coming in! -Two women coming in who? 468 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,413 We went over this, Cece-- that's not the line. 469 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,915 That's exactly the kind of input we've been talking about. 470 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,751 Russell? We need to talk. 471 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,586 Oh, I'm scared of this energy. 472 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,922 Ya best be. Ya best be scared. 473 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,024 Is she drunk? 474 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,491 Yeah. On four glasses of Chardonnay 475 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,027 and two pots of coffee. 476 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,728 And I'm drunk on rage! 477 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,396 Knock-knock, boys. Open your brain doors. 478 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,565 -Sit down, Cece. -Okay. 479 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,900 Look, I've let this slide too much in my life, 480 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,436 but no more. 481 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,839 You may not want me in this meeting, but I belong here. 482 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,108 -Yeah, I-I'm not sure you do. -Too late, Russell. 483 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,110 -I'm bustin' in. -* Work hard * 484 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,379 -* Play hard, work hard * -Can't keep a good woman down. 485 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,781 -* Play hard, work hard * -Cece, sit. -Okay. 486 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,516 You think just 'cause I'm a woman, 487 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:26,286 I can't bring anything to the table? Well, try me. 488 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,920 'Cause I'm pullin' up a chair, 489 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,956 -and I'm gettin' in the game. -CECE: Ooh. 490 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,794 Okay. Guys, this is Jessica Day. 491 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,530 Jessica, this is my divorced father support group. 492 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,167 We meet every Tuesday. 493 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,271 Oh, that's why you're crying. 494 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,473 It makes sense now. (chuckles softly) 495 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,276 Divorced fathers? 496 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:52,812 Um, my dad... my dad is a divorced father. 497 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,948 Your kids are gonna turn out fine. 498 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,351 Sort of. There-there might be some rough years. 499 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,288 I like your choice of snacks. 500 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,990 (loud crunching) 501 00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,430 JESS: Ugh, Russell, I know 502 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,799 you're probably mad at me for many reasons. 503 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,835 One you might not know about is that my friend did indeed 504 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,305 get sick in the receptionist's desk drawer. 505 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:19,906 -I just wanted to say... -No, I wanted 506 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,309 to say that this morning I was ready to quit. 507 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:23,576 Wait, you're gonna quit? 508 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,312 But I decided not to, because I know 509 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,480 I can really make a difference for these schools 510 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,316 if you will let me. 511 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,017 I know I was wrong about the meeting, but you 512 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,154 have to admit, you haven't given me any real work to do. 513 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,288 -That's true. -Why is that? 514 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,190 Do you not think of me as an equal? 515 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,859 Because if that's the case, that needs to change. 516 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,661 No, that's not it at all. 517 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,696 Jess, it's just that you're new here, 518 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,532 and I've got a lot of trust issues. 519 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,367 Probably from my third wife, Jackie. 520 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,002 In fact, we were just discussing it in the divorced dad... 521 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:52,839 Wait, I thought your fourth wife was named Jackie. 522 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,674 I married two women named Jackie. 523 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,509 -Back-to-back? -Yeah. They were related. 524 00:17:56,543 --> 00:18:00,079 It's complicated. Look, I got to make this right. 525 00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,615 I hired you because I feel like you're exactly the right person 526 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,184 to get stuff done around here. 527 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:08,755 So I guess it's time for me to just let go and let you do that. 528 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,423 You won't regret it. 529 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,159 -All right. -Also, while we're here talking, 530 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,694 we need some tampons in the bathroom. 531 00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,530 Are you asleep? 532 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,366 No. 533 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,301 Well... I give up. 534 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,536 This is my reality. 535 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,805 I'll never sleep again. 536 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,007 Tell me a story, Uncle Nick. 537 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,843 Me? No, no, no. I don't have any stories, Ruth. 538 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:34,681 * Come on, Nick, you can do it. * 539 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,682 Please? 540 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,184 Nick, she asked for a story. 541 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,786 -Why don't you tell her a story? -I thought you wanted 542 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,522 -to sleep, Schmidt. -I don't know how to do that anymore. 543 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,890 I've pushed through. 544 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,058 -My body doesn't know how to sleep. -All right, fine, 545 00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,295 Ruth, you want a story? Here's a story. 546 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,463 There was once a magical bear, 547 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:51,631 and he, uh... 548 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,300 I don't know, 549 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:57,204 walked on a magical tightrope to Seattle. 550 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,806 Have you ever seen a magical bear? 551 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,642 -No. -Is there a tightrope to Seattle? 552 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,377 Not that I know of, Ruth. 553 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,413 -Ugh, this is garbage. -Well, what do you want from me? 554 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,147 It's late at night, you asked for a story-- 555 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,482 that's the best that came out. 556 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:12,919 Weren't you ever little like me, Uncle Nick? 557 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,154 Of course I was little like you. Don't you know anything? 558 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,589 I was born on a cold, lonely street 559 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,157 on the South Side of Chicago. 560 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:21,060 As rumor has it, and there's no proof of this, obviously, 561 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,662 but I delivered myself. 562 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,932 It was my fifth birthday party, there was a knock at the door. 563 00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:29,702 My father jumped up, gave us all a thumbs-up, gave me a wink, 564 00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,738 then he jumped out the window, 565 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,873 -bounced up, took off running. -Oh, wow... 566 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,275 I didn't see him for six months. 567 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,909 My only babysitter at the time 568 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,779 was a rollercoaster at a local amusement park. 569 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:43,216 That and a pack of cigarettes. (chuckles wryly) 570 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,184 Being nine in Chicago is different. 571 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,053 The tree fell, hit the power line, 572 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,389 and the power line fell right on the hobo, 573 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,591 shocking the hobo back to life. 574 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,860 -That was an amazing moment. -(whispers): Hey. 575 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,195 I don't know, it made me question the existence of God. 576 00:19:56,229 --> 00:20:00,099 I believed entirely in fate, and it was that same fate 577 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,469 that brought me to the woman I love today. 578 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,438 Uh, Nick, go back. Uh, what happened to the hobo? 579 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,274 He stood up, he spun around, 580 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:10,209 he said, "Time to get a job," and he walked away. 581 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,044 Why don't you write it down, Nick? 582 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,814 -About the hobo? -WINSTON: Yeah. -Yeah, why not? 583 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,883 Oh, this is good. This is really good. 584 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:20,453 We did it, Schmidt. (chuckles) 585 00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:23,222 (snoring) 586 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,758 Schmidt? 587 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:28,628 (continues snoring) 588 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,763 (whispers): Oh, my God. 589 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,234 Time to go to bed, my friend. 590 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,103 Yeah, I think the coffee's wearing off. 591 00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:40,006 -I have to thank you so much for today. -(yawning) 592 00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:43,810 -Uh-huh. -Even though now I have so much work to do. 593 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,778 Yeah, you're gonna kill it. It's gonna be great. 594 00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:46,979 I love you. 595 00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:48,315 I do love you. 596 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,249 -Thanks, girl. -Hey, can I tell you a secret? 597 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,251 -Yeah. -I'm not gonna brush my teeth tonight. 598 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:53,753 JESS: Ooh, interesting choice. 599 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,988 -Thank you. -WINSTON: Come on. 600 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,256 You don't want any of this. 601 00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,691 Unhand me! I'm not even tired. 602 00:20:58,725 --> 00:20:59,959 -Go to sleep, buddy. -Yeah, dude, 603 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,628 you haven't blinked in three hours. Come on. 604 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:02,662 (Schmidt yawns) 605 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,364 Cece... 606 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:07,334 I love you, but... your breath is trash. 607 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,502 It's like a... it's like a garbage Dumpster. 608 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,838 -Thanks for saying that. We were all thinking it. -Yeah. 609 00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,806 Shh, shh, shh. Time for sleep. 610 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,475 You get one story. 611 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:17,344 Take it away, Nick. 612 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:20,913 I call this one Timothy and the Chi-Town Hobo. 613 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,515 * Good night, Schmidt and Cece * 614 00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:24,684 -* It's time for sleep * -"What are you doing in my box? 615 00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:26,386 -* Do, do, do, do, do * -"growled the hobo 616 00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,054 -* You haven't slept now * -"to Timothy, 617 00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:30,323 -* For over a week * -"as a muss of hair and a pair 618 00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:32,359 -* Do, do, do, do, do * -"of young, sad, brown eyes... 619 00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,026 * We hate to leave, but you should be * 620 00:21:34,060 --> 00:21:35,695 -* Counting your sheep * -"...peeked slowly 621 00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:37,697 -* Oh, good night, Schmidt * -"out of a... 622 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:40,800 -* And Cece, good-night. * -cardboard box." 623 00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:41,968 Good night! 624 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:45,037 (cymbals clash) 625 00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:47,006 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 626 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:51,378 You've just watched New Girl. 627 00:21:51,411 --> 00:21:53,346 Now here are a few more shows to check out from Fox. 628 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:58,250 Who's ready for a Fox Sunday Survey? 629 00:21:58,284 --> 00:21:59,619 -Okay. -Okay. 630 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,253 Okay, I guess. 631 00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:02,955 -ANNOUNCER: Okay. -Let's do it! 632 00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,157 -Are you in love with Bob's Burgers? -Yes. 633 00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:06,626 -The Simpsons? -Oh, yes! 634 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,760 -Ghosted? -Yes! 635 00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:08,995 -Family Guy? -Yes. 636 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:10,630 -The Last Man on Earth? -Yes! 637 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:11,764 Potatoes? Yes. 638 00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:12,932 Butter? Yes. 639 00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:13,866 Cream? Yes. 640 00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:14,967 Lamb? Yes. 641 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,235 Chicken broth? Yes. 642 00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:18,571 Don't miss the funniest night on television. 643 00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:20,106 Lightsaber? Not on the menu. 644 00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:21,541 No way! Oh, no! 645 00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:25,311 See it all first, Sundays on Fox.