1
00:00:01,522 --> 00:00:03,220
So, I've got it all planned out.
I'm gonna surprise Nick

2
00:00:03,263 --> 00:00:05,134
at his book reading,
and afterwards,

3
00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:08,398
when he's on a big high,
I'm gonna tell him how I feel.

4
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,967
You think this is a little soon
after the breakup with Reagan?

5
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:12,099
Yeah.
Yeah.

6
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:14,317
I'm worried, very worried.
[chuckles]

7
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,146
But you know what, I wrote
everything out on the plane,

8
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,277
like what I'm gonna say.

9
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,106
It's all on flash cards,
some of it's in song,

10
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:21,934
I would do it for you,
but some of the jokes

11
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,762
are at your expense,
so, uh...
[chuckles]

12
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,417
Jess, why don't you just
tell him how you feel?

13
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,725
You know, no jokes, no songs,
just from the heart.

14
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:32,335
[laughs]

15
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:34,295
No songs.
[laughs]
Yeah.

16
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:35,426
No songs.

17
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,081
No songs, she said.

18
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,213
NICK:
"Pepperwood lay on the ground

19
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,344
"in a puddle of blood.

20
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:44,869
"Jessica Night broke through the
barricades and ran to his side.

21
00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:46,567
"'Even though he doesn't
have muscles,

22
00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:49,484
"he seems incredibly strong,'
Jessica thought,

23
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,877
"as she looked into his
perfect, sexy face.

24
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,183
"Even now, even covered

25
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,795
"in the blood of the man
they both knew as Schmith,

26
00:00:56,838 --> 00:01:00,582
"the two sat in silence
in the hot, New Orleans night,

27
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:03,540
waiting for the words
that would never come."

28
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:07,109
[audience whoops and cheers]

29
00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:11,766
I'm gonna open up the floor
to some questions.

30
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,030
Uh, the young lady right here
in the strange-looking vest.

31
00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:15,031
No offense.

32
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,250
When are Pepperwood

33
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,512
and Jessica Night
going to get together?

34
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,382
WOMAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.That is a great question.

35
00:01:19,426 --> 00:01:21,341
[audience muttering]

36
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,518
I'll just cut to it, guys.

37
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:28,000
Uh, Pepperwood and Jessica Night
will never get together. Never.

38
00:01:28,043 --> 00:01:30,394
[low murmuring]

39
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:31,394
I'm sorry. You guys, stop.

40
00:01:31,438 --> 00:01:33,789
It's just, look,
these characters,

41
00:01:33,831 --> 00:01:36,008
they-they are based
off real people.

42
00:01:36,051 --> 00:01:40,403
A-And the real people are
just fundamentally different.

43
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:42,406
They don't work together.

44
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,277
It's just never gonna happen.

45
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,409
You just got to forget about it.Excuse me.

46
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,890
Move on from it.

47
00:01:51,284 --> 00:01:53,417
And also, you know,
Pepperwood, he blew it.

48
00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:56,027
Sometimes you don't get
another chance, you know,

49
00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:57,159
to-to fix the mistake.

50
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,248
It's just... look,
adult relationships

51
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,250
are really complicated.

52
00:02:00,293 --> 00:02:02,599
So, let's hear it for books!

53
00:02:04,427 --> 00:02:07,518
All right, wow, you guys
are super intense.

54
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,912
♪

55
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:13,784
Hi.

56
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:15,873
I'm Merle Streep.I don't care.

57
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:19,400
Okay. Um, I'm an editor and
I publish children's books,

58
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:20,617
so I wanted...Oh, congratulations to you.

59
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:21,966
What would you like me
to do about that?

60
00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:23,403
Uh, I'm about
to make a call, so...

61
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,406
Nice to meet you,
Merle Streep.

62
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:26,407
[line ringing]Goofy name.

63
00:02:26,449 --> 00:02:28,322
I'll... I'll... okay.
Okay.

64
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:29,931
[ringing]

65
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,243
Hey, Nick.

66
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:40,203
Hey, this is crazy,
but were you just at my reading?

67
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,074
You're not in L.A., are you?

68
00:02:42,117 --> 00:02:44,075
No, I'm in Portland with my dad.

69
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,121
That's what I thought.

70
00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,078
How'd the reading go?

71
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,384
Couldn't have gone better.

72
00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:49,081
I felt weirdly
comfortable up there.

73
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,692
I'm so proud of you.

74
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:51,735
Thanks.

75
00:02:54,521 --> 00:02:56,437
Reagan and I broke up.

76
00:02:56,479 --> 00:02:58,046
I got to go.

77
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,004
Oh, my dad just sprained his

78
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:02,312
thumb trying to get up
off a couch.

79
00:03:02,355 --> 00:03:04,879
I'll talk to you later, Nick.

80
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:07,403
Sorry. So, is now a good
time to talk to you?

81
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,057
Because I'd like to talk to you
about publishing your book.

82
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,276
You'd like to talk
to me about what?

83
00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:11,495
Publishing your book.

84
00:03:11,538 --> 00:03:13,497
What are you,
some kind of a-a publisher?

85
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:14,585
Yeah, that's what my card...

86
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,021
I was trying to give
you my card, but you...

87
00:03:16,064 --> 00:03:17,587
You want to publish my book?Yeah.

88
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,721
Yeah, I want you
to publish my book.

89
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,376
Is this how you normally are?No.

90
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,159
[humming]

91
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,727
[whoops] Babe, hi.

92
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,381
Are your pants off?

93
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,469
I... I went
to the reading and...

94
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:30,514
Oh, no, what happened?

95
00:03:30,557 --> 00:03:32,254
I'm so sorry
I'm not wearing pants.

96
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:33,516
Schmidt's been
so busy with work,

97
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,605
we scheduled
a no-pants dinner thing.

98
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:38,305
Do you want me
to take my pants off, too?

99
00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:39,305
Oh, no, honey.

100
00:03:39,348 --> 00:03:40,655
Tell me everything.

101
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,526
ALY: That's it.
I'm all moved in.

102
00:03:42,569 --> 00:03:46,094
This is my last box and it's
labeled "holiday important."

103
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,183
So, it's definitely sex toys.

104
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,533
[laughs] Well, then
I wonder what's in this box.

105
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:53,406
It's labeled "documents."
Eh, it's just documents.

106
00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:55,277
[chuckles]
Oh, no, no, no.
That's nothing.

107
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,278
I...

108
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,542
Wait, wait, wait.

109
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:01,371
You have a mug shot
of the diaper bandit?

110
00:04:01,414 --> 00:04:03,372
With a phone number on the back?All right.

111
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:06,376
Listen, I-I wanted to wait for
the right time to tell you this.

112
00:04:06,419 --> 00:04:07,508
Have you been keeping in touch
with the diaper bandit?

113
00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:10,336
What? No.
No, listen. I...

114
00:04:10,379 --> 00:04:13,991
That's actually
your dad's phone number.

115
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:19,302
You said you wanted
to find him, so...

116
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,346
I found him.

117
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:29,442
[whispering]:
My dad is the diaper bandit?

118
00:04:29,485 --> 00:04:31,182
No.
Oh.

119
00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:33,533
Forget about the diaper bandit.That'd have been weird.

120
00:04:43,586 --> 00:04:44,326
SCHMIDT:
Cece.

121
00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:48,461
[singsongy]:
I'm not wearing any pants.

122
00:04:48,504 --> 00:04:49,463
[whispering]: Honey.

123
00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:51,465
[screaming]
Oh, no! Oh, no!

124
00:04:51,507 --> 00:04:52,814
I touched one
of your breasts!

125
00:04:52,856 --> 00:04:55,120
Where is my wife?!I can never be the same!

126
00:04:55,163 --> 00:04:56,600
[both panting]

127
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,558
Let's just move on.
I'm fine.
No, it's fine.

128
00:04:58,601 --> 00:05:00,908
I panicked, and I told him
I was in Portland,

129
00:05:00,951 --> 00:05:02,692
and now I can't go back
to the loft.

130
00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:04,129
To play devil's advocate,

131
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,523
he was just talking
about characters in his novel.

132
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,437
I mean, look,
the character based on me

133
00:05:08,481 --> 00:05:11,398
is a Jewish psychopath
who wears a bolo tie

134
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,617
and eats applesauce
out of a baboon's skull.

135
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,619
No, he was talking about us.

136
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:18,187
He just doesn't feel
the way I feel.

137
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,406
I... I can't see him.

138
00:05:20,449 --> 00:05:23,235
Hey, it's me, Nick.
In three, two...

139
00:05:23,278 --> 00:05:24,584
Hang on, wrong key.SCHMIDT:
Get in the kitchen.

140
00:05:24,627 --> 00:05:25,976
Go, shoo, scram.NICK: That was for
my chest drawer.

141
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:29,937
Got it.
SCHMIDT:
My man.

142
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,156
[Nick sighs]

143
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,942
I don't love this couch.

144
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,465
Did you take
the tags off already?

145
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,511
It's the perfect couch.
What are you doing here?

146
00:05:37,553 --> 00:05:39,468
Well, I need to talk to you and
my phone's only at five percent.

147
00:05:39,512 --> 00:05:40,992
Well, why didn't you...I can't find the charger.

148
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,558
It's under Winston's pillow.I looked in Winston's room.

149
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:45,170
Did you look under the pillow?Yeah, yeah. I... yeah.

150
00:05:45,213 --> 00:05:46,389
I went in there. I...No, you didn't.

151
00:05:46,432 --> 00:05:48,608
I didn't look in Winston's room,
but I need to talk to you.

152
00:05:48,651 --> 00:05:50,610
An editor wants
to publish my book.

153
00:05:50,653 --> 00:05:52,569
Pass immediately
and start a bidding war.

154
00:05:52,612 --> 00:05:54,528
I'm getting ahead
of myself. Mazel.

155
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,528
That's incredible, Nick.

156
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:57,661
Thanks. I called Jess,
but she didn't answer.

157
00:05:57,704 --> 00:06:00,185
I was really hoping to tell her
about it, but she hung up

158
00:06:00,228 --> 00:06:01,665
on me earlier and now she
won't pick up the phone.

159
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:04,319
What are you doing?Shh! Shh, shh!

160
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:06,278
[whispering]:
What, what, what?

161
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,279
Oh, Nick's here?Shh! You're yelling.

162
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:09,456
I'm not yelling.You're yelling.

163
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:10,673
You're coming with me
to the meeting tomorrow.

164
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,415
[phone beeps]I'm picking you up
at 9:00 a.m.

165
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,286
I have to go to the kitchen.

166
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,245
I'll come with. I'm starving.

167
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:17,768
No.Where are you...

168
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,552
Come to the kitchen
with me then, Nick.

169
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,555
[whispering]:
Wait, why are you crawling?

170
00:06:22,598 --> 00:06:24,600
[whispering]:
I don't know. Just go.

171
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,692
[groans]

172
00:06:28,735 --> 00:06:30,651
Hey, do you have any
angel hair pasta in here?[phone beeps]

173
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:31,608
I don't see it.Ooh, you know what?

174
00:06:31,651 --> 00:06:33,480
Uh, excuse me, I have
to go to the bedroom now.

175
00:06:35,481 --> 00:06:36,699
[quietly]:
Jess, this is very stressful.

176
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,223
I know. Look, tomorrow, you need
to go to that meeting with Nick

177
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,661
and you need to stay with him
until I'm packed.

178
00:06:41,704 --> 00:06:43,446
Whoa, whoa, whoa, packed?I just army-crawled

179
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:46,057
across your entire house to get
away from my ex-boyfriend...

180
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:48,711
...who I still live with.

181
00:06:48,755 --> 00:06:51,367
I-I-I can't do
this anymore.

182
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,978
I need, I need to get out
of here and get some space.

183
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,677
I'm moving out of the loft.

184
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:58,504
What?

185
00:07:01,637 --> 00:07:03,379
I couldn't find
your trash bin,

186
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,466
so I threw it away
in the toilet.

187
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:05,685
What'd you throw in the toilet?

188
00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:07,077
The, uh, salami in the fridge.What?

189
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:08,689
I didn't flush it.

190
00:07:08,731 --> 00:07:10,168
So, you're gonna have
a bunch of salami

191
00:07:10,211 --> 00:07:12,867
floating around
in your toilet bowl.What?

192
00:07:16,173 --> 00:07:17,480
So Jess is just moving out

193
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,699
because Nick said
something dumb at a reading?

194
00:07:19,742 --> 00:07:22,180
Nick is always dumb.
He's the dumbest boy in school.

195
00:07:22,223 --> 00:07:23,529
I had no idea you cared
so much about

196
00:07:23,572 --> 00:07:24,966
what happens to Nick and Jess.

197
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,576
How could I not?
I've been watching these idiots

198
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,535
do this dance
for the last six years.

199
00:07:28,577 --> 00:07:30,536
He's rough and tumble.
She's sweet and sassy.

200
00:07:30,579 --> 00:07:32,668
It's the moon and the tides,
it's the push and the pull.

201
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:34,715
I know, it just
makes so much sense.

202
00:07:34,757 --> 00:07:36,846
I'm gonna go tell him
that she loves him.

203
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,326
I'm gonna go
tell him that she loves him,

204
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,720
I'm gonna burst in the door,
and I'm gonna say,

205
00:07:39,762 --> 00:07:40,850
"Nick, she loves you,"
and then...

206
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,071
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We cannot get involved.

207
00:07:43,113 --> 00:07:44,680
Okay.
Okay?

208
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:47,596
You're right.
You're right, okay.All right. Okay.

209
00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:48,728
[both sigh]

210
00:07:48,771 --> 00:07:51,514
I should've worn shorts.No, no.

211
00:07:51,557 --> 00:07:52,949
I would've looked
amazing in shorts.

212
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:55,518
I got rid of all the shorts,
you nutball.

213
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,781
You are really grumpy
this morning.

214
00:07:57,824 --> 00:08:01,785
Well, I was up late last night,
talking to Cece about you.

215
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:03,526
For what?
Nick, I want
to tell you something,

216
00:08:03,569 --> 00:08:07,007
but... but I can't.

217
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:08,574
So I'm just gonna
ask you this:

218
00:08:08,617 --> 00:08:10,750
why on earth

219
00:08:10,793 --> 00:08:14,624
do you think that you are so
okay with this Reagan breakup?

220
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,538
Reagan and I are at
different places of our life.

221
00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:18,584
It's fine. Why hasn't
Jess called me back?

222
00:08:18,627 --> 00:08:19,542
You guys are
pretty good friends, right?

223
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,370
But if you remember
correctly,

224
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,545
you didn't even want Jess
to move in to the loft.

225
00:08:23,589 --> 00:08:24,807
Nick, why do you think that is?

226
00:08:24,851 --> 00:08:26,983
I'm pretty freaked out
by sanitary napkins.

227
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:29,769
Why don't you think you wanted
Jess to move in to the loft?

228
00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:32,554
I don't know, 'cause I,
'cause I was afraid.

229
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:35,340
Nick, you have been
in love with this girl

230
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:36,732
from the moment
you opened the door

231
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:39,692
and you first
laid eyes on her.

232
00:08:39,735 --> 00:08:43,347
I have never seen you
look at anyone else like that

233
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:44,697
in my entire life.

234
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:46,655
Except maybe,
on a few occasions, me.

235
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,701
I've never looked at you
the same way I look at Jess.

236
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,703
There's just been a few times.I-- there's never been a time.

237
00:08:50,746 --> 00:08:52,226
You looked at Coach
maybe once or twice like that.

238
00:08:52,269 --> 00:08:53,620
Me, several times.
Winston, never.

239
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:54,620
Let's table it.

240
00:08:54,663 --> 00:08:56,404
You're wrong.

241
00:08:56,447 --> 00:08:58,841
The first time I saw Jess
was I was standing

242
00:08:58,885 --> 00:09:01,409
in her empty room, and I was
looking out the window.

243
00:09:01,452 --> 00:09:03,238
She was trying to get
in the building.Okay.

244
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,804
Pretty hilarious.
She didn't have her glasses on,

245
00:09:04,847 --> 00:09:06,501
and she was bumping into stuff.

246
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,285
Will you listen
to yourself?

247
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:12,508
I shouldn't be telling
you this, but...

248
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,857
Jess is not in Portland.
She's here.

249
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,643
And she's packing up
her stuff because

250
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,034
she's going to move out
of the loft

251
00:09:18,078 --> 00:09:20,254
for good.Nick.

252
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:21,951
Wait, she's gonna
move out of the loft?

253
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,868
For once in your life,
don't be afraid.

254
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:28,697
Ready to come in and talk?

255
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:36,619
Hello. I'm, uh, Winston Schmidt,
Nick's associate.

256
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,967
That's right.

257
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,710
Children's literature
just got a brand-new daddy.

258
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:41,971
What?

259
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,801
Children's literature
just got a brand-new daddy.

260
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,803
Don't say that here anymore,
okay? Thank you.

261
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:51,807
So sorry I'm late,

262
00:09:51,851 --> 00:09:55,028
but Sadie would not stop
going on about her divorce,

263
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,290
and I was like,
"Girl, can you just be quiet

264
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,900
and look at my vagina, please?"

265
00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,120
The fact that we have
the same gynecologist

266
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,643
really makes me
feel closer to you.

267
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,514
Wait, is this all you have
packed? I mean, Nick's gonna

268
00:10:02,557 --> 00:10:04,515
be here in two hours.I know.

269
00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:05,865
Hey. You know what?

270
00:10:05,908 --> 00:10:08,738
If this is too hard right now,
you don't have to do this.

271
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,740
Just give yourself some time
and think it through.

272
00:10:11,784 --> 00:10:13,655
If my stuff is here, I'll just
end up living here again.

273
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,005
You know me; I live
where my stuff lives.

274
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,268
When I come back

275
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:19,879
for the school year,
I'll... find a new place.

276
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,056
All right.
Well, if we're gonna do this,

277
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,317
then we better get moving.

278
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:24,841
Yep. My God, I'm gonna
miss you so much.

279
00:10:24,884 --> 00:10:26,668
I'm gonna miss you so much, too.

280
00:10:26,712 --> 00:10:27,801
But it's just one summer.
It's fine.

281
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,453
Okay, I know,
but I'm just gonna miss you.

282
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,847
Me, too. This is dumb!It's one summer.

283
00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,937
It's one summer.It's fine. We can get
through one summer.

284
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,286
It's fine.
I'm gonna miss you,
like, day-to-day.

285
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,678
Who am I gonna
talk to every day?

286
00:10:39,942 --> 00:10:42,250
Mine, mine...
Is this mine?

287
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:43,467
Are you collecting things
for Goodwill?

288
00:10:43,511 --> 00:10:45,774
I'm not donating things,
I'm moving out.

289
00:10:45,818 --> 00:10:46,907
BOTH:
What?

290
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,081
Look, I'm just going to Portland

291
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,605
for the summer to get away.

292
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,738
Sure. You go to Portland,
have a fun summer,

293
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,609
but then what
about after that?

294
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,610
Huh? When will
we see you?

295
00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:57,744
Who will your friends be?
Who you gonna hang out with?

296
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,571
Okay, think about the people
you are leaving behind.

297
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,965
Also, side note, Aly
has my dad's number!

298
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,139
Okay.

299
00:11:03,183 --> 00:11:04,924
Wait, what?I got his dad's number.

300
00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:06,577
My dad's name is
Van, by the way.

301
00:11:06,621 --> 00:11:08,928
Oh, my God, Winston,
that's a huge deal!

302
00:11:08,971 --> 00:11:10,669
Yeah. Yeah.Are you gonna call him?

303
00:11:14,803 --> 00:11:16,023
No.

304
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:17,980
I can't call my dad.

305
00:11:18,024 --> 00:11:19,374
I just can't.

306
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,724
You know what?
You don't have to call him

307
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,072
if you don't want to.
You can always just

308
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:26,293
escape to Portland-- oh, my God!

309
00:11:26,336 --> 00:11:27,990
You can come with me
to Portland!

310
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:29,557
Furgie's gonna love it.

311
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,864
It's the second most
cat-friendly Portland

312
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,778
after Portland, Maine,
according to Pawsmagazine.

313
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:33,996
Are you going
to Portland?

314
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,302
No.

315
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,086
Portland is hella white.

316
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,960
[phone ringing]

317
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:42,222
Ooh. [chuckles] Sadie.

318
00:11:42,265 --> 00:11:43,963
Hello.

319
00:11:44,006 --> 00:11:46,618
[singsongy]:
Cece, you're pregnant.

320
00:11:52,798 --> 00:11:55,452
Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant.

321
00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,846
Why are you picking up
someone else's phone?

322
00:11:57,890 --> 00:11:59,370
Call back in five minutes,
and we will agree

323
00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:01,850
to lie to our friend
for the rest of our lives.

324
00:12:01,894 --> 00:12:03,461
Oh, God.
You're gonna be in my office

325
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:04,767
throughout the pregnancy,
aren't you?

326
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:05,985
[door closes]

327
00:12:06,028 --> 00:12:07,813
So I am double-parked,
so if you got any boxes

328
00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:08,727
I can take down to the car.

329
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,383
What's up?
Why are you so happy?

330
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,777
I just love boxes so much.

331
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:15,908
Can I have one
to take to the car?

332
00:12:15,951 --> 00:12:17,823
It's heavy.I'm fine.

333
00:12:17,866 --> 00:12:19,826
Oh, okay. We can go together.
That's fine.

334
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,783
I-I like quality time.

335
00:12:21,827 --> 00:12:23,394
[phone ringing]

336
00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:25,265
Oh, you should go
get your phone.
No, no, no.

337
00:12:25,308 --> 00:12:26,832
Let's just get this box down.

338
00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:28,399
Okay.
Hey, can someone
grab my phone?

339
00:12:28,442 --> 00:12:30,879
What if it's about
your booming model business?

340
00:12:30,923 --> 00:12:32,447
ALY:
Hello?

341
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:33,840
Cece, you're pregnant!

342
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:37,059
Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant!Who the hell is this?

343
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:39,453
Cece's pregnant?Sorry. I-I'm Aly,
Winston's fiancée.

344
00:12:39,496 --> 00:12:40,716
Cece is pregnant?

345
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:41,934
Winston's married to Cece.

346
00:12:41,977 --> 00:12:43,197
Winston Bishop.Cece's pregnant.

347
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,807
Cece's pregnant. Oh, my God,

348
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:46,068
Cece's pregnant, everybody!Oh, my God.

349
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,942
[laughs]No need to yell.

350
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,290
Tell Cece to call me.

351
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:51,857
Got to head back down
in the mine.

352
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,947
Hey, can we hustle? I got a
hair appointment in an hour.

353
00:12:54,990 --> 00:12:56,863
It's a real upstairs,
downstairs kind of day.

354
00:12:56,905 --> 00:12:58,081
Gotcha.

355
00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,086
[ringing]

356
00:13:03,129 --> 00:13:05,480
What, Winston?
I'm using social media.

357
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:06,960
Oh, my God, Schmidt.
Why didn't you

358
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,701
tell me you were
gonna be a papa?No, no, no, no.

359
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:10,964
What do you mean, "papa"?
What are you talking about?

360
00:13:11,006 --> 00:13:13,096
Pull the plug.
Sadie told Aly
that Cece is pregnant.

361
00:13:13,139 --> 00:13:14,096
Pull the... pull the plug.

362
00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:15,054
What? Why would she do that?

363
00:13:15,097 --> 00:13:16,056
'Cause she pregnant.

364
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,100
Winston, he doesn't know.

365
00:13:19,101 --> 00:13:22,105
Oh, oh, oh, no...

366
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,672
Ah...

367
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:25,847
No... I messed up just now.

368
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:28,110
W-Winston.You weren't supposed to know
that, so don't know that.

369
00:13:28,154 --> 00:13:29,764
Is that true?
What's going on?

370
00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:30,852
Hey, Schmidt.
It's Jess. I'm so sorry.

371
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:33,115
I picked up Cece's phone,
it was Sadie,

372
00:13:33,159 --> 00:13:35,857
and she told me the news, and
now everybody knows but Cece.

373
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,424
So I'm gonna send her home.

374
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:39,340
Okay, okay, but Jess, um...

375
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:41,471
Plea... [sighs]

376
00:13:41,515 --> 00:13:42,908
Is it true?

377
00:13:42,951 --> 00:13:44,475
Yeah. It's true.

378
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:45,912
Just get home.

379
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,522
She needs to hear it from you.

380
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,788
Miracle of miracles!
Finally got a parking spot.

381
00:13:54,006 --> 00:13:55,051
Why y'all just staring at me?

382
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,052
Just really happy
you found that spot.

383
00:13:57,096 --> 00:13:59,054
Man, people wait their whole
lives looking for a spot.

384
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,970
Thank you.

385
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:01,927
And here, you've
been blessed.

386
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:04,581
With a spot.

387
00:14:07,062 --> 00:14:09,543
MERLE: Okay, so I do
have a few changes.

388
00:14:09,586 --> 00:14:10,893
Take or leave.

389
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:13,025
What if we kill off
Jessica Night in the next book?

390
00:14:13,068 --> 00:14:15,071
What?

391
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,812
I was thinking that she could be
Schmith's next victim.

392
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,596
We could do it
in a big way,

393
00:14:18,639 --> 00:14:20,076
like, he drops
a piano on her head.

394
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,557
[blows raspberry] Done-zo.What?

395
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,341
Maybe she takes
a baseball right to the face.

396
00:14:24,384 --> 00:14:25,734
Batter out!

397
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,126
Have you ever done this before?

398
00:14:27,169 --> 00:14:28,302
Yes, actually.

399
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:29,780
I published the entire
Bitch Witchseries.

400
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:32,087
Bitch Witch Christmas,
Bitch Witch Prom Night,

401
00:14:32,131 --> 00:14:34,090
and Bitch Witches
of Rhode Island.

402
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,091
Yeah. Okay.

403
00:14:35,134 --> 00:14:37,005
Look, Nick, I-I get

404
00:14:37,049 --> 00:14:38,442
that you're afraid
to make changes.

405
00:14:40,139 --> 00:14:42,097
Actually, I'm not afraid.

406
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,274
Okay, then
you'll think about it.

407
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:46,885
[chuckles softly]

408
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,368
No, I'm not gonna make
those changes

409
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,587
because those-those ideas
are really bad.

410
00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:55,503
Well, I...Jessica Night is
the whole reason

411
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:58,201
Pepperwood gets out of bed
every day.

412
00:14:58,245 --> 00:14:59,332
NICK:
Schmidt?!

413
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:01,856
You were right! Schmidt?

414
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,423
Uh, he had to go, but he left

415
00:15:03,466 --> 00:15:05,730
the name and number
of his favorite Uber driver,

416
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:08,081
uh, Beezus "The Man" Tequito.

417
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,734
All right.

418
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:11,083
Mr. Beezus.

419
00:15:11,126 --> 00:15:12,868
Mr. Schmidt
likes to party.

420
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:13,956
You like to party?

421
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,567
Wh-- Oh, very cool lights.

422
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:19,178
But, no, uh, Beezus, I...
I don't like to party...

423
00:15:19,221 --> 00:15:21,094
It's not the first time
I've heard that.

424
00:15:21,136 --> 00:15:22,225
I'm gonna go see a girl.

425
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:23,792
Oh, good for you.
Yeah.

426
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:25,620
Want to hear some music?

427
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,187
Sure, yeah,
that could be inspiring.

428
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,188
♪ Hot cross buns♪

429
00:15:29,231 --> 00:15:30,320
♪ Hot cross buns♪

430
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,148
♪ One a penny,
two a penny♪

431
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,498
♪ Hot cross buns♪

432
00:15:37,283 --> 00:15:40,025
Second chorus.
♪ Hot cross buns♪

433
00:15:40,068 --> 00:15:42,115
Yeah, I cannot believe
Schmidt likes this.♪ Good when they're old♪

434
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,985
♪ But eat 'em when you can♪

435
00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:46,249
♪ They're not as good
when they're cold♪

436
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,947
♪ Hot cross buns.

437
00:15:53,168 --> 00:15:55,215
[sighs]

438
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,259
WINSTON: Last box
in the truck. Hmm.

439
00:15:57,303 --> 00:16:00,220
I haven't seen this room
this empty since Steve left.

440
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:01,437
Who's Steve?

441
00:16:01,481 --> 00:16:03,135
Oh, he was the guy who lived
in this room before Jess.

442
00:16:03,178 --> 00:16:05,225
Real night screamer.

443
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,879
He couldn't sleep unless he was
screaming a whole bunch. Yeah.

444
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:10,056
I guess I should
give you my keys.

445
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,666
Are you really not gonna
tell Nick how you feel?

446
00:16:13,101 --> 00:16:15,017
That's such a Steve move.

447
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,845
[chuckles]
Steve was in love with Nick?

448
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,586
Oh, yeah, and he
never told him.

449
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,936
That... sweet,
gay coward.

450
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,198
Maybe Steve left
this place and-and...

451
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:26,681
and finally got the space
that he needed to...

452
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,596
become a better version
of himself.

453
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:30,076
Yeah, I mean, he's selling
tires in Little Rock.

454
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,643
Okay, well, forget Steve.
Look, I know I'm being a coward.

455
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,644
Jess, I know you.

456
00:16:34,688 --> 00:16:37,038
You can't walk away
without talking to him.

457
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:39,955
This is how I have to
move on, and...

458
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,129
I have to go.

459
00:16:42,783 --> 00:16:43,827
Let's get on the road.

460
00:16:43,871 --> 00:16:45,177
Okay.

461
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:48,049
Wait.

462
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:53,229
[sighs]

463
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:56,537
[line ringing]

464
00:16:59,756 --> 00:17:01,236
VAN [recorded]: You've reached
Van. Leave a message.

465
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:02,456
[beep]

466
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,634
Hello, Van.

467
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,417
This is Winston Bishop.

468
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,115
I'm your son.

469
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,553
I'm calling to tell you
that I am getting married

470
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:14,468
to the most amazing woman

471
00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:16,991
in the world.

472
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,211
And I turned out
pretty great, too,

473
00:17:18,253 --> 00:17:21,865
so, um... call me
whenever you're ready.

474
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:24,130
Oh, also, I have a cat.

475
00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:25,913
He's not ready to have
a relationship with you,

476
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:28,742
so just don't try
to force it on him.

477
00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:31,093
[phone beeps]

478
00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:33,442
Yeah, so...

479
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,357
now it's your turn.

480
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:36,663
Be brave.

481
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,535
I can't.

482
00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:39,971
I'm sorry.

483
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,369
Hey, babe, I'm back.

484
00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:48,545
Whew!

485
00:17:48,588 --> 00:17:50,329
[sighs]

486
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,417
What's, uh...

487
00:17:53,549 --> 00:17:54,550
What's happening?

488
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:57,336
I'm pregnant.

489
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,556
What?I mean, you're pregnant.

490
00:17:59,599 --> 00:18:01,123
We're pregnant. [chuckles]

491
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:02,951
Sadie called you,

492
00:18:02,993 --> 00:18:05,300
and Jess picked up,

493
00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:07,477
then she called again
and Winston picked up,

494
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,913
Winston told me.

495
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,740
It's an upsetting
scene, but, um,

496
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:12,829
we're having a baby, Cece.

497
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,615
I wanted to
buy you flowers,

498
00:18:14,657 --> 00:18:18,009
but I couldn't pick out
which ones, so...

499
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,229
We're having a baby?

500
00:18:20,272 --> 00:18:23,013
We're having a baby.

501
00:18:23,057 --> 00:18:24,364
[whispers]:
We're having a baby.

502
00:18:26,974 --> 00:18:29,194
I really didn't think
it was gonna happen for us.

503
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,586
It's a caramel miracle.

504
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,372
[both laugh]

505
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:42,295
BEEZUS: Don't forget
to give me five stars!

506
00:18:42,337 --> 00:18:43,817
NICK: Three and a half!
Thanks, Beezus!

507
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,602
Hey, let's turn
on some music.

508
00:18:45,645 --> 00:18:47,212
[radio stations changing]

509
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:50,606
Oldies station
okay, everybody?♪ The time of my life...♪

510
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,305
I think I'd be really happy
working as a mover.

511
00:18:52,347 --> 00:18:54,088
I like the gloves,

512
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,177
like the excitement.

513
00:18:56,221 --> 00:18:58,615
♪ It's the truth♪

514
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:01,443
♪ And I owe it all to you...♪

515
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,184
Sit back and watch
the job get done.

516
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,577
Winston's right.

517
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:05,839
Portland, huh?

518
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,450
Land of the muskrat.

519
00:19:07,493 --> 00:19:09,799
Pull over!I mean, I'm in the middle...

520
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:11,411
Just pull over.We're in traffic
and we're parked!

521
00:19:11,453 --> 00:19:12,367
I was just trying to,
you know-- okay, I'll go up.

522
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,240
I'll go up a few blocks,
that's fine.

523
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,199
Jess?

524
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,166
[sighs softly]

525
00:19:32,648 --> 00:19:35,695
JESS [outside]: Can anyone
help me get in the building?!

526
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:36,871
Hey, dog!

527
00:19:36,913 --> 00:19:38,176
Can you bark
for someone?

528
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:40,482
Bark, dog!

529
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,136
Bark!

530
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,488
[imitates dog barking]

531
00:19:45,531 --> 00:19:47,403
Ah! Screw you.

532
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,711
Can anyone help me
get in the building?!

533
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:54,236
I gave away my key!

534
00:19:54,279 --> 00:19:56,325
Anyone?
Jess!

535
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:03,157
Hang on, I'm coming down!

536
00:20:05,464 --> 00:20:06,465
[sighs]

537
00:20:11,426 --> 00:20:13,124
Oh, hey, hold the door. Thanks.

538
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:15,518
[dog barking]Now you find your voice?

539
00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:18,520
♪ But I hear sounds
in my mind...♪

540
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:19,740
Come on, come on, come on.

541
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,397
♪ Brand-new sounds
in my mind...♪

542
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:26,876
Come on.

543
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:29,836
♪ But, honey♪

544
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,969
♪ I'll be seeing you♪

545
00:20:32,012 --> 00:20:33,318
♪ Ever I go♪

546
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,493
[grunts]

547
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:39,673
♪ But, honey,
I'll be seeing you♪

548
00:20:39,715 --> 00:20:41,457
♪ Down every road...♪

549
00:20:43,938 --> 00:20:45,287
Jess, where'd you go?!

550
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:47,288
Jess!
Nick!

551
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,203
Why are you down there?

552
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,988
BOTH:
Stay right there!

553
00:20:51,031 --> 00:20:53,469
♪ 'Cause, honey,
I'll come get my things♪

554
00:20:53,512 --> 00:20:55,992
Come on, come on.♪ But I can't let go...♪

555
00:20:56,037 --> 00:20:56,951
Come on, come on.

556
00:20:56,993 --> 00:20:58,473
♪ That green light♪

557
00:20:58,518 --> 00:21:00,519
♪ Oh, I wish I could
get my things♪

558
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,217
[elevator bell dings]

559
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,174
♪ And just let go...♪

560
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,525
Oh, come on, please go faster.

561
00:21:05,567 --> 00:21:07,134
I got to tell my best friend
I'm in love with her.

562
00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:09,180
Take a shower first. I never
seen anyone sweat so much.

563
00:21:09,223 --> 00:21:11,008
You take a shower!
You smell terrible!Yeah, yeah, yeah.

564
00:21:11,051 --> 00:21:13,445
Yeah, yeah, yeah.You smell terrible!

565
00:21:14,576 --> 00:21:15,970
[chuckles]

566
00:21:16,012 --> 00:21:17,537
Hey, Miller.

567
00:21:17,579 --> 00:21:19,190
Hey.

568
00:21:30,549 --> 00:21:33,465
♪ That green light, I want it♪

569
00:21:36,511 --> 00:21:39,210
♪ I'm waiting for it,
that green light.♪

570
00:21:39,253 --> 00:21:41,256
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH