1 00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:03,536 Well, this is the last of Robby's stuff. 2 00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:05,173 How you doing with the breakup? Really well, 3 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,041 since we're related, 4 00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:10,144 and all the laws of nature say we should not be together. 5 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,378 If you guys need me today, 6 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,147 I'll be in my room rearranging my furniture 7 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,747 so it no longer resembles a place 8 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:15,849 where I made out with my cousin. 9 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:16,750 (all groaning) 10 00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:17,718 Third cousin. 11 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:18,652 Still. Ugh, 12 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:19,553 barely better. Ew. 13 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:20,821 Don't normalize it, Jess. Ugh. 14 00:00:20,853 --> 00:00:21,554 You're right, you're right. 15 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,522 (gags) Ugh. 16 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:25,059 Hey, Nick. Are you wearing 17 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,361 your running bottoms and your hoodie? 18 00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:28,428 Nick, are you going running? 19 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,099 Have fun. 20 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,168 Oh, my God. What is wrong with Nick, Reagan? 21 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:36,237 Yeah, what happened? Are you guys okay? 22 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,037 Nick is going for a run. (chuckles) 23 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,740 If anything, we should be asking what is right with Nick. 24 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,042 He only goes running if he's upset. 25 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,076 And he's wearing his sad hoodie. 26 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,411 And by the looks of it, it's been washed, 27 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,079 which is bone-chilling. 28 00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,215 He's fine. Everything's okay. 29 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,750 I just passed Nick on the street running, 30 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,252 on purpose! 31 00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:52,619 Oh, my God! 32 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,088 Maybe I was wrong. 33 00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:55,054 Nick! 34 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,055 Are you okay?! 35 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,258 I see you! 36 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,393 And I love you! 37 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:02,729 In my defense, no one here emotes in a normal way. 38 00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:04,198 That's fair. Nick! 39 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,233 * 40 00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:10,603 How's the boba? 41 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,408 It's fine. 42 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,611 Why are you making so much eye contact with us? 43 00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:23,049 Oh, you're gonna ask us for something, aren't you? 44 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:24,718 This boba is a metaphor. 45 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:28,322 Aly is the tapioca pearl to my milky matcha, 46 00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:32,058 each made better by the unlikely presence of the other. 47 00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:33,760 I think you know what I'm saying... 48 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,795 We have absolutely no idea. I haven't known what you've been saying 49 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,063 for three and a half years. 50 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,098 I'm asking Aly to marry me. 51 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,134 What?! Whoa! Yeah, 52 00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:42,135 yeah. (chuckles) Oh, my gosh! 53 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,138 Winston. My man! Yeah. 54 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,140 Yes. (chuckles) 55 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:48,008 And I'm gonna need your help with the process. 56 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,145 Now, keep this between us. I am only telling you two. 57 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:52,513 Yeah, we won't say a word. Yeah. Whatever you need. 58 00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:54,481 Meet me at the bar in one hour, okay? 59 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,349 Look fresh. 60 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:59,486 We'll discuss details. I'm gonna need you for the entire day. 61 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,822 We're with you. Yes. Little Winnie is growing up. 62 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,757 First he's a husband and then maybe one day 63 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,359 he could be a father... 64 00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:08,329 One day? (chuckles) I am a father. 65 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,631 It's a cat, Winston. 66 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,132 He's my blood. 67 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:13,766 I am never gonna figure him out. 68 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,637 I feel like I found a forest baby, 69 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,538 and I don't know when it's hungry or in pain 70 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,207 or afraid of the kitchen light. 71 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,042 I know. (chuckles) Nick is just an enigma 72 00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:24,312 wrapped up in a bunch of Chicago Bears crap. 73 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,347 You need the help of a seasoned vet. 74 00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:27,681 (knocking at door) Come in! 75 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,182 Hey, Nick. 76 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:30,384 Hey. You feeling upset 77 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:31,685 about something? No. 78 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:34,322 I'm just eating edamame. 79 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,197 Give me the cup. (spits) 80 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,233 They taste so bad. That's what I thought. 81 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,067 I submitted The Pepperwood Chronicles 82 00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:49,402 to a publishing company, and I got the rejection letter today. 83 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,204 My career is over. 84 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,373 No, it's not. Nick, someday you'll be talking 85 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:56,377 to a reanimated Oprah about that book. 86 00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:58,211 Have you talked to Reagan about this? 87 00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:00,046 I bet she'd be awesome to talk to. 88 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,715 No, I am too embarrassed. 89 00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,717 Nick, she's your girlfriend. You have to let her in. 90 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:06,419 Don't just keep her in the perfect front room. 91 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,056 Okay. Let her in the back, with the weird rooms 92 00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:11,425 and the-the dead bulbs and the wet walls. 93 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:14,061 All right, but I'm not letting her go anywhere near my crawl space. 94 00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:17,063 I don't think you should let anyone near your crawl space. 95 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,266 Well, some people have to go to the crawl space to clean out the boxes. 96 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,401 Who cleans out the boxes? 97 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,170 Significant other. 98 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,737 What are you talking about? 99 00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:27,574 Hey. I have the scoop. 100 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,009 Nick's book got rejected, and he's really embarrassed. 101 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,413 So now the baton... 102 00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,449 * Has been passed... * 103 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,625 ...to you. 104 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,259 You own an actual baton? 105 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,627 It was Robby's. 106 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,764 He was really into competitive male twirling. 107 00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:53,099 I have so many questions... 108 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:53,766 No. 109 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,067 WINSTON: First, thank you 110 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,604 for coming to this very special event. 111 00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,407 Might I just add that everyone looks fresh. 112 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:03,776 Now, when Aly gets here, I am going to suggest an activity 113 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,278 for the four of us to do. 114 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,480 Then I'll gracefully back out, 115 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:11,485 leaving the two of you to distract her as I prepare for... 116 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,252 the show. 117 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,122 (giggling) Ooh, I got a scream and nowhere to put it. 118 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,557 Ooh, this is exciting. 119 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,459 Now, at an undisclosed time, I will place a call to Aly, 120 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:23,230 informing her that my car has broken down in Malibu, 121 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:27,067 where I'll be waiting with a beautiful and glorious picnic 122 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,168 right next to her favorite plant... 123 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,672 ...the common cactus. 124 00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:33,072 Here comes that scream. Oh, my God, Oh, 125 00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:35,007 there she is. I'm screaming already. Aly! 126 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,677 Hey. Hey, hey. Hey. Hey, hey. 127 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,014 Hi. 128 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,415 (giggling) 129 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,283 (chuckles) 130 00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,317 Strange energy, guys. 131 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,353 (giggling continues) We all had 132 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,187 bubbly water. It made us giggle. 133 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,189 What's up? What's up? What's up? Hi. Hello. 134 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,593 What's up? Hi. Hello. 135 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,528 Hello. 136 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,329 Anyway, uh, Schmidt and Cece asked us 137 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,497 to help paint their house. 138 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,132 Paint our house? Paint the house. 139 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,168 Remember? That's the activity for all of us to do. 140 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,136 You know, 'cause you wanted... you wanted... Paint the house. 141 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,538 Paint the house. Yes, we... did. 142 00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:09,343 Even though the majority of our house is already painted. 143 00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,444 We wanted our best friends to finish it. 144 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,514 Not professionals. Like, uh... like our new home 145 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:17,117 was some tree house in a Little League baseball movie. 146 00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:18,819 I mean, I-I've never done it before, but... 147 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,353 Sounds like a yes to me. 148 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:21,654 Aw, snap, just remembered, 149 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,223 I can't make it. 150 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,726 Uh, uh, boo. Uh... (exhales) 151 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,528 Yeah. Boy, that's a bummer. 152 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,697 Shock. Shoot. So fast. 153 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,399 Ugh. But, you know, 154 00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:34,233 boo. 155 00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,737 What up, boy in the hood? 156 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,238 I thought you were gonna talk to Reagan. 157 00:05:39,271 --> 00:05:41,240 I tried, but she's been on her phone all day 158 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,543 like a grandpa who missed a package. 159 00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:47,014 Like... "Hel..." I'm not even gonna do it. 160 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:50,683 Yes. Thank you so much. We will be there. Thanks. 161 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,721 Nick, I know that dumb publisher rejected your book. 162 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,723 And, guess what, that publisher can go to hell. 163 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,725 After you beat them to death with this baton 164 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,225 that I weirdly still have. 165 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,360 Because you don't need a publisher. 166 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:04,264 You need a girlfriend who found a bookstore 167 00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:05,533 to sell Pepperwood. 168 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:07,735 Seriously? That's amazing. 169 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,403 That's amazing! I called all over and I finally found one. 170 00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:11,572 Reagan saved the day! 171 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,206 You're amazing. That's right. 172 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,708 All we need is, uh, 173 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,343 30 copies of the book. Oh, well, we can make them. 174 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:17,411 I mean, it'll be hard, 175 00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:18,446 but we could do it. 176 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,180 We could do it. We'll make 'em ourselves. 177 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,949 Fantastic. Uh, we just need 'em by tonight 178 00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:23,216 for his big reading. 179 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,718 Excuse me, did you say "big..." 180 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,353 a big reading tonight? 181 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,420 Yeah. Well, that 182 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,723 sounds... public. 183 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,223 Well, I mean, he's got to do a reading 184 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:32,259 to sell the book. Is that bad? 185 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,726 Is that bad? No, it's good. I get... 186 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:37,096 I get to do a reading tonight in front of people. 187 00:06:37,129 --> 00:06:38,264 Yeah. I get to read in front 188 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,266 of a bunch of people who are gonna judge me. 189 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,101 This is not bad. This is good. 190 00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:43,269 This is... (exhales) JESS: See, this is 191 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,973 another thing that Nick does when he's upset. 192 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,374 At least he's not running. 193 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,175 (clattering) 194 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:57,384 So you want me to read in front of people. You want me to read 195 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,119 in front of living people... 196 00:06:59,151 --> 00:07:02,254 (voice squeaking): ...who are there to hear me read. 197 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:05,391 And how will I... how will I even know what to read? 198 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,894 You're gonna read your book. I'll read my book. Fine. This is good. I'm fine. 199 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,730 Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Oh, I feel like my heart 200 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,432 is pumping out scalding hot toilet water. See, 201 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,269 a vivid description like that is gonna make the audience go wild. 202 00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:18,237 Ah, the audience! I just forgot the audience, 203 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,406 and now I remember the audience. 204 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,507 I can't do this. I can't do it. I can't do it. 205 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,944 All right, here it is-- The Pepperwood Chronicles. 206 00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:25,612 I made a prototype. 207 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,247 Jess, that looks fantastic! 208 00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:29,315 That looks really good. 209 00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:32,451 How did you do that? Oh, that's between me and my craft wagon. 210 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,187 I wrote you. 211 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,923 Hey, um, how's he doing? 212 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,324 Not very good. Hmm. 213 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:38,792 And if I'm being honest with you, 214 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,459 I'm starting to freak out now. 215 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,161 This is me freaking out. 216 00:07:42,194 --> 00:07:45,665 Do I sometimes wonder if you're a robot? Yeah. 217 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,000 I've made you! 218 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,935 You're of me. JESS: When Nick gets 219 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,002 like this, he needs to be occupied. 220 00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,172 Luckily, we have tons of books to make. 221 00:07:52,204 --> 00:07:54,141 It's got my name in it. JESS (sing-songy): Book time! 222 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,442 Gather around, my little Guttenbergs! 223 00:07:56,475 --> 00:07:57,677 Here we go. 224 00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:01,380 Hey, Jess, can I borrow your cactus gloves? 225 00:08:01,413 --> 00:08:02,382 Ooh! 226 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,483 Making books, huh? 227 00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:06,019 * Butterfly in the sky * 228 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,656 * I can fly twice as high * 229 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,057 * Take a look * 230 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:11,658 * It's in a book. * 231 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:12,692 Ah, you know the rest. 232 00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:14,360 Just, we put... we put 'em there. 233 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,028 Backing away from an active craft project. 234 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,463 Are you okay? Oh, yeah, yeah. 235 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,167 No. Um, Reagan's a little insecure 236 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:22,134 about being there for Nick. Oh. 237 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,170 So I want her to have this. 238 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,038 Wow. I'm proud of you. Yeah. 239 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,975 Thanks. (both laugh) 240 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,709 This is where you give me the cactus gloves. 241 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,879 This is really soothing. 242 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,047 You're a natural. 243 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,682 (whispering): She's terrible. 244 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,049 She's ruining our bedroom. 245 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,019 It's like she's begrudgingly covering up graffiti. 246 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,721 Oh, there's a couple rough patches, 247 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,090 but... that's what posters are for. 248 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,057 Just calm down, okay? We can fix it later, 249 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,159 but we have to keep her in here for Winston. Hey. 250 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,028 Since we're doing this, I got to say, 251 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,663 do not like the color of your bathroom. 252 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,067 You know what? Now that I think about it, me, either. 253 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,903 (quietly): What?! Let's do that next. 254 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,105 Great. It's special order robin's egg. 255 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,173 It's just paint! It's not just paint. 256 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:03,176 Guys, as much as I love a good whisper fight, 257 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,845 I should go. CECE: Oh, no! 258 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,780 No, no, no, you, uh, can not leave. Why not? 259 00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,017 Because we can't be alone together. 260 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,821 Because...? Because... 261 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,356 Because... 262 00:09:17,389 --> 00:09:20,092 we're having marital problems. 263 00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:25,097 That's... secret, 264 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,067 which is part of our marital problem. 265 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,201 She's got a big mouth, but a great can. 266 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,705 Which is also part of our marital problems. 267 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:32,940 I objectify her. ALY: See, 268 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:34,642 I knew something was up. 269 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,076 Everyone was like, "They're so perfect!" 270 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,645 And I was like, "No. Something in that relationship 271 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,847 is very, very broken." 272 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,786 Hey, Nick. Where's Reagan? 273 00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,287 Getting more glue. We ran out. 274 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,056 How many did you get done? 275 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,658 One... and I think we did it wrong. 276 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,626 It doesn't look right to me. 277 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:56,462 Your reading's in three hours! It... 278 00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:58,899 Let's make some books! I think I have some really good glue 279 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,567 in my non-mobile craft cart. 280 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,902 You're gonna help me? Yeah! 281 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,671 Let's do it. (both laugh) 282 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:09,743 God, this glue works great! Oh, 283 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,144 it smells great, too! 284 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,946 It really does. (both sniffing) 285 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:16,884 (sniffing) 286 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,486 Oh, I love the smell of new books! 287 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:21,688 (sniffing) (laughing): Yeah, me, too. 288 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,591 Mmm! New, new books. New, new books! 289 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,994 Oh! Can I tell you something? I feel great right now. 290 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,796 I feel very good. I feel very confident. 291 00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:32,331 I am ready for that read. I think you're gonna crush it. 292 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,334 I think I'll read the whole book in about two minutes. Yeah. Just get in there. 293 00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:36,602 You'll... (sputtering gibberish) 294 00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:37,837 What? What? 295 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,807 What? What? 296 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,841 (sputtering gibberish) 297 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,009 And people are gonna go nuts. (sputtering gibberish) 298 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,845 They're gonna be like, "Yes, yes, we love this book." 299 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,513 And they're gonna just buy every copy, 300 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,347 and then you're gonna have to, like, print more. 301 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,482 That's what's gonna happen. Does your hair always look like that? 302 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,519 Yeah. Do you have brown hair? 303 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,855 Definitely. Why didn't you tell me? 304 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,624 It's a secret. (both laughing) 305 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:01,794 (cackling) 306 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:02,962 Check this out. I'm gonna birth this book. 307 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,530 (laughing) (groaning) 308 00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,365 Here you go. It's a baby book. Oh! 309 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,735 (imitates baby crying) Congratulations! 310 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,870 It's a paperback! 311 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,871 Hey, guys. Reagan! Reagan! 312 00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:13,874 Reagan. Reagan...! 313 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,844 (Reagan sighs, Jess and Nick laugh) 314 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,477 Sorry that took so long. I got stuck behind 315 00:11:18,510 --> 00:11:19,846 this, uh, lady at the craft store 316 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,548 that was buying 700 individually-priced buttons. 317 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,851 Mm. Oh, they said to say hi to you. 318 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,053 Hi. And I got you a new shirt, Nick. 319 00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:29,688 Oh, isn't that nice. Phew! What the hell is that smell, you guys? 320 00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,725 We made a library! Mm. 321 00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,692 Is this the glue? 322 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,562 It comes from my private collection. Mm-hmm. 323 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,496 It's very strong. You guys are so high. 324 00:11:37,529 --> 00:11:38,932 How dare you. How dare you. 325 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,133 I'm not high at all. You're high. 326 00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:43,570 Whoa! 327 00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:44,604 (clattering) 328 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,046 You guys, this says to use this in an open field. 329 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,081 It specifically says that a backyard is too small. 330 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,750 You're a backyard. Very good. (inhaling loudly) 331 00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,586 I think I should cancel this reading. 332 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,955 No way! I am in. I feel great for the reading. 333 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:04,724 Let me just buckle up my shirt. 334 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,393 Well, the problem with this author shirt 335 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,927 is that it's made of honey. It's not... 336 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,897 This shirt is too sticky. It's because there's glue on your... 337 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:12,131 'Cause it's made of honey, so... And I'm canceling. 338 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,933 You cannot do a reading in this condition. 339 00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:15,769 No! Don't cancel the reading! 340 00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,736 You worked so hard to get it! 341 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:21,908 I got a backpack full of Pepperwoods, and I'm ready. 342 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,412 NICK: Oh! 343 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,813 JESS: Aah! Jess, I'm coming! 344 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:28,782 Reagan, call shotgun. 345 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:29,950 (groaning) 346 00:12:31,683 --> 00:12:33,986 (groaning) Are you pulling? 347 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,721 I can't feel you pulling. Let me get your legs! 348 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,625 Please don't drag her. (grunting) 349 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,961 (whispering): Winston, where are you? 350 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:44,096 We are freaking out in increasingly weird ways. 351 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:47,567 I'm at a costume shop, getting ready for the big proposal. 352 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,402 A costume shop? 353 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,837 All in good time. 354 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,639 Now, listen, when I text you, I need you to bring Aly to Malibu. 355 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,143 Okay? I don't want the two of us to drive back separately. 356 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,977 Plus, I want to make out at red lights. 357 00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,578 Okay, Winston. Just how much longer? This is very 358 00:12:59,611 --> 00:13:01,815 important to me. If you mess this up, you ruin my life, okay? 359 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:02,982 No, Winston. Uh, uh... Okay, bye! 360 00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,683 No. No, no, no. Uh... 361 00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:05,818 Ooh! 362 00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:08,587 So many marital problems we have. 363 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,789 My baby's got a real sweet tooth. 364 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,860 Just the other day, she ate an entire sleeve of pecan sandies 365 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:17,197 and punched the top right off of a parking meter. 366 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,932 It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. (Cece clears her throat) 367 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,201 She yells at me constantly and... 368 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,904 There's one time where she tipped over a table. 369 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:30,677 He gambled away another paycheck. 370 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,845 Oh, no! 371 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,980 It's the ponies. I'm addicted. 372 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,682 Right, right, right. CECE: It's true. 373 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:38,051 All the money that he wins on gambling, 374 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,320 he puts up his nose. Oh. 375 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:41,620 It's cocaine now, as well. 376 00:13:41,653 --> 00:13:43,190 Love me the ca-caine. Ah, yeah. 377 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:44,290 Feel invisible when I do it. 378 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:47,193 This feels like some sort of weird foreplay. 379 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,562 I'm out of here. Wait. No. Aly, please. Um... 380 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,298 Don't leave me with this rage monster. 381 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,067 Oh, yeah. You... I mean, you want to see a rage monster? 382 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,835 You want me to show her the rage monster? 383 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,971 Well, here you go. No! 384 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,739 Just... Gosh darn. 385 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,908 ...tipping tables! All right, that's... 386 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,210 Uh, but I just... Wait. Aly, Aly, please don't leave. 387 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:05,211 She belongs in a mental hospital! What?! 388 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,813 I know what's happening. You guys are trying to distract me 389 00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:10,984 from some weird thing Winston's planning. 390 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,253 Uh, no. Aly, no. 391 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,855 Possibly a prank? 392 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,590 Might be a zotz, a goof. 393 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,158 If it's prank, please tell him 394 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,927 I wore bad underwear today. Please. 395 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,995 Frank Sinatra strikes again. It's a prank, it's a prank. 396 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,264 That's exactly what it is. 397 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,265 It's a prank. Great. 398 00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:27,900 Oh. Winston. 399 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,003 Stranded in Malibu. 400 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,870 All right, let's get this over with. 401 00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:33,907 Winston. Hmm. Yep. 402 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:36,342 (Nick sighs) 403 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,778 The good news is I'm feeling sober. 404 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,712 The bad news is maybe I'm too sober. 405 00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,182 Yeah. I'm sobered up, too. Great. 406 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,618 Why are my eyes so good? 407 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:48,288 I can read everything from here. 408 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,688 What does that mean? 409 00:14:49,721 --> 00:14:51,890 Oh, my God. A secret world. 410 00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:53,259 Okay. I don't think she's sober at all. 411 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,260 (gasps) 412 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:55,761 Okay. Hi. 413 00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:58,197 Thank you for supporting your local bookstore. 414 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,134 Quick reminder: We're dying. Please buy things. 415 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,802 I was feeling very confident before, 416 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,037 but I'm losing some of it, so I think might just take 417 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,904 one more quick pull. No, no. No, no, no. 418 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,740 No. Just one more quick pull. Just one more quick. Oh, my goodness. 419 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,775 Is this gonna be a problem? 420 00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:11,043 Get it together. 421 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,145 And now, please welcome Nick Miller, 422 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,282 author of The Pepperwood Chronicles. 423 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,916 (whispering): No, no. (applause) 424 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,952 Go ahead... Nick. 425 00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,921 Go ahead. They called... 426 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,990 What a wonderful day. 427 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,025 Quick reminder: We are dying. 428 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:31,931 I wrote this, every word. 429 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,168 All of that. 430 00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:38,004 My hard work, not yours. 431 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,072 It's not a competition. 432 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,841 If everybody could stop looking at me, that'd be really great. 433 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,510 If you guys wouldn't mind just closing your eyes, 434 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:45,979 as if you were at some sort of a show 435 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,779 where you were asked to close your eyes. 436 00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:48,947 What? Thank you. 437 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,184 Do you mind looking down, sir? 438 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,054 (whispering): Nick. 439 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,856 All of these are for sale. 440 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,698 What's that? Yeah... coming. 441 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,671 PATRON: Is that it? Um... 442 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,207 NICK: Don't worry about me, I live here now. 443 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,447 All right, what are we gonna do? What's the plan? 444 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:25,317 Well, it helps if you feed him something first. 445 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:28,488 Do you have any meat? Or nuts? 446 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:29,655 Why would I have come to the bookstore 447 00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,191 with meat and nuts in my purse? 448 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,059 Okay. Caramels. I don't have that. 449 00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,193 All right. Just tell him you believe in him, 450 00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:35,394 and that he can do this. 451 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:36,663 Yeah. I'm not good at this. 452 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,565 Obviously. So... 453 00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:40,700 What would you say, Jess, if you were me? 454 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:45,337 I would say... 455 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:47,673 (sighs) 456 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:51,510 Nick, you're one of the most 457 00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:53,379 amazing people I've ever met. 458 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:56,048 Everyone here is lucky to hear your book, 459 00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,716 because it's a part of you. 460 00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:01,587 And if you fail, it doesn't change how special you are. 461 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:04,356 And no matter what happens here, 462 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:08,560 I'll always love you. 463 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,730 Or something like that. 464 00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:12,731 That made me tear up a little bit. 465 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,032 I'm gonna use that. 466 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,801 Okay. 467 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:19,771 Hi, Nick. 468 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,574 What are you doing? 469 00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,942 I'm just hanging out in here. I'm just taking a break. 470 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,679 Just, just having a moment... yeah. 471 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:30,950 Hey. No. You are, you are amazing. 472 00:17:30,982 --> 00:17:32,419 And you, you're, 473 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,121 you're, uh, special boy. 474 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:35,688 Like, uh, um... 475 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,590 You know, you-- like, uh, you're, you are... 476 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,427 very special, you know what I'm saying. 477 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:42,729 Uh, and let me start over. 478 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,464 (clears throat) Nick. 479 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,233 I believe in you. 480 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,972 Hey, this thing's awesome. 481 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:55,275 Did that guy write this? 482 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:57,544 Yeah. He sure did. 483 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,778 There's a sadness about him. 484 00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:00,113 I know what you mean. 485 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:03,015 JESS: Oh, there's movement. 486 00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:05,652 (sighs) 487 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,288 Sorry about that. 488 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,190 Uh, that was some weird stuff. 489 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:15,094 "The sun baked down on Pepperwood's back 490 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:18,664 "as he moved over to the St. Charles streetcar. 491 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:22,000 "The driver handed him a brown paper sack. 492 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,836 "Without opening it, Pepperwood knew 493 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:27,940 what was inside: blood-soaked beignets." 494 00:18:27,973 --> 00:18:29,476 He is so dreamy. 495 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,978 Oh, your life's gonna be so hard. 496 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,954 Okay, Bishop, what is happening? 497 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,257 Do you really need a spare? 498 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,857 Oh, I got a spare. 499 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,361 A spare cactus. 500 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,329 Oh, my God. 501 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,832 I planted it in this spot that is perfect. 502 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:55,468 You see, the cactus is common, 503 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,436 but the company is not. 504 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,837 Hello, beautiful. 505 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,839 It's perfect. 506 00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:04,009 Come on. 507 00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:08,815 We should probably just give them their privacy. 508 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:09,981 Yeah, you're right, you're right. Holy hell. 509 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,683 He's doing it. Oh, my God, oh, my God. 510 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,553 Oh, my God, oh, my God. He's on a knee, here we go. 511 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,054 It's happening. Game time. 512 00:19:15,086 --> 00:19:16,888 It's a shoelace. 513 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,825 False alarm. 514 00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:20,292 Okay, now here it is. 515 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,229 Here it is. It's happening. 516 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,631 That is a ring. 517 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:25,731 I don't think that's a ring. 518 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,469 Is he giving her a gummy vitamin? 519 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,837 (Cece gasps) Okay, this is it, this is it. 520 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,905 And the other shoe? 521 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,907 That's why I double knot his laces. 522 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,910 You know what? Let's stop asking questions. Who knows? 523 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,279 It's... their date. It's their date. What is this? 524 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,916 Hey. You guys can take off now. 525 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,253 Of course. You want to be alone for when you pop the question. 526 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,221 Got it. Wait. What? 527 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,557 We're so excited for the both of you. 528 00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:53,058 Oh. Oh, you thought I was gonna propose today? 529 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,528 No. Yo. That's hilarious. 530 00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:57,596 What do you mean it's not today? 531 00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,066 No. This is just phase one... of 20. 532 00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:01,768 What? What? Yeah. 533 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,771 We went through all of this for a non-proposal cactus picnic? 534 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,406 Damn it, Winston. 535 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,576 My girl deserves the grandest proposal ever, okay? 536 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,578 And that cannot be rushed. 537 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:16,082 That is actually sweet. That's not sweet. 538 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,849 I te-- Here's a phase for you: 539 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,618 When I throw you off the cliff into the ocean. Okay. 540 00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,854 Hey, look, don't worry. For the next 20 weeks, 541 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,592 I've only got you helping out with odd-numbered phases, okay? 542 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,727 And there will be sub-phases, obviously. 543 00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:29,028 I ain't doing no sub-phases. 544 00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:31,263 Think of them as annoyingly elaborate 545 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,700 smaller phases. 546 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,268 He's really pushing his limits right now. 547 00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:37,769 Thank you so much for your help. One phase down. 548 00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:40,105 Boop. Don't boop him. 549 00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,642 Just one. I wish we sold just one. 550 00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:44,076 Hey. You did great. 551 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:45,412 JESS: Nick. I'd like 552 00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,579 to introduce you to your number one fan. 553 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,449 Hey. I really enjoyed what you read 554 00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,617 and hearing it and how the characters were good, 555 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,152 and how your face looks, 556 00:20:53,184 --> 00:20:54,987 and I want to hold it. All right. 557 00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,221 Keep it cool, keep it cool. 558 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,457 I think Mariah would like 559 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,726 to buy a copy of the book. 560 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,461 You want to buy one? Yes. 561 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:04,130 How much ya got? A dollar. 562 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,164 Well, the purchase price is $12.95, so... 563 00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,233 I'm comfortable with the dollar. Okay, fine. A dollar's fine. 564 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,501 Good deal. 565 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,103 The signature's free with the dollar. 566 00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:15,508 There you go. 567 00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:18,444 Thank you. Don't read it all in one place. 568 00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:20,480 You okay, Nick? 569 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:21,647 Yeah. Just concerned about... 570 00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,482 The shed scene. The shed scene. 571 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:24,750 But I don't remember the shed scene. You don't remember 572 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,019 the shed scene? I don't remember it. 573 00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:29,622 It's an incredibly graphic sexual scene. 574 00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:32,459 That's not good. Disgustingly sexual. 575 00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:33,526 Who cares? 576 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:34,961 My first sale! REAGAN: Congratulations. 577 00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:36,261 NICK: I did it. 578 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,963 JESS: Yeah, Nick! NICK: Yeah, me! 579 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,965 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH