1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:04,371
COMMENTATOR: They've scored five
touchdowns in this game...

2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,738
Wow. Check this out.

3
00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:07,174
Coach and May's
foreign exchange student

4
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,808
just added me as a friend.

5
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,743
Montsie.
His name is Montsie.

6
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,580
I didn't know they had
a foreign exchange student.

7
00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:13,913
I didn't know they moved
to North Carolina.

8
00:00:13,946 --> 00:00:15,382
Neither did I.
(they laugh)

9
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,217
They moved to
North Car... what?
Yeah.

10
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,652
How did none of us know about
this? How is that possible?

11
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,989
Eh, they moved. It happened.
We need to make
more of an effort.

12
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:23,890
We don't even know that
our friend has moved

13
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,225
to a different state.
I mean, we're still friends.

14
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,027
We just have nothing
to do with each other.

15
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,161
This doesn't bother you?

16
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:29,496
Realistically, we'll
probably see 'em

17
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,431
two or three more
times before we die.

18
00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:33,234
And it's sad, but it's
also not that sad.

19
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,868
What?
Who cares? What's for dinner?

20
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,270
I care.

21
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,106
McKenna, please. Please,
don't do this. Okay? I mean,

22
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,240
what about that formal swimwear
ad I got you? McKenna?

23
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:41,875
McKen...

24
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:44,011
Well, guys! It happened again.

25
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:47,014
A big agency stole
another one of my clients.

26
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:49,417
And I have a big audition today.

27
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:50,718
Gosh darn it. You know what?
CECE: Jess!

28
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,185
Those pretty boys
don't deserve you.

29
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:55,021
Which one is McKenna?
Is he the gaunt, heroin-hot one?

30
00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:56,890
That's Jean Francois.
He got poached last week.

31
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,859
McKenna's the one that looked
like a jacked Bryant Gumbel.

32
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,762
Oh...
And this is a huge deal.

33
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,097
It's the Sausage
Crunchies account.

34
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:04,465
Why would a dog food company

35
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,933
be interested in a bunch
of hot models?

36
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:07,935
Oh, no, it's, uh...
NICK: No, no, no.

37
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,537
Sausage Crunchies
are people food.

38
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:10,938
They're like brown
cheese snacks.

39
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,972
Yeah, it's like space food.
I-I put them in soup.

40
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:13,974
CECE:
I just really wanted to show

41
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,876
this casting agency
that I was legit.

42
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,777
Now, if I go down there
with just Donovan,

43
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,480
I'm gonna look
like a no-name hustler.

44
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,081
Gosh darn it.
Should I go out now and try

45
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,750
to find new clients,
or should I concentrate

46
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,984
on the one client
that I have left?

47
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,554
You know, they're probably
sniffing around Donovan

48
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,989
as we speak.
(gasps) Crap.

49
00:01:29,021 --> 00:01:30,323
Is that what he wants
to talk to me about?
Hey.

50
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,924
He said he wanted to talk
to me about something.
Cece.

51
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,227
Is that what he wanted
to talk to me about?
Cece, calm.

52
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,228
These poachers.

53
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,996
You concentrate on Donovan.

54
00:01:36,028 --> 00:01:38,165
I'll go see if I can drum up
some new clients.

55
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,834
Very sweet, but the audition
is in six hours from now.

56
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,603
So we have no time
to look for new clients.

57
00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:45,139
Well, recruiting is just
like sales, I mean selling a job

58
00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:47,341
is just like selling drugs.
I do that every day.

59
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:50,777
Are you offering to help, too?

60
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:51,844
Honestly, I wasn't.

61
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,581
But based on how

62
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,015
intensely you're staring at me,

63
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,951
I guess I've boxed myself
into a corner here, so...

64
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:00,953
Great! Okay.
You concentrate on Donovan.

65
00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:03,290
We'll get the models.
Heads in, guys.

66
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,492
What?
"Heads in"?

67
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,759
No. It's "hands in."

68
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:06,694
I'm pretty sure it's "heads in."

69
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:07,694
What are we supposed to do?

70
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:08,695
Smoosh our heads together?

71
00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:10,663
Yeah.
Everybody. Hands in.

72
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:11,731
Hands in.
Hands in.

73
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,435
WINSTON:
Meow.

74
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,603
SCHMIDT: Winston!
What?

75
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,003
How are you not tired of this?

76
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,205
Tired of what?

77
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,240
*

78
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,514
Okay, model types, 3:00.

79
00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:27,781
Take a bow.

80
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:28,816
Wait, those two oatmeal men?

81
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,683
Follow my lead.

82
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,385
How did we ever date
the same dude?

83
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:33,721
(laughs): Hey!

84
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:35,021
Kampai. That's Japanese

85
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,324
for "What's up?"

86
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,891
Hi! Jessica Day.

87
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,026
What are we celebrating?

88
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,062
Kirby here works
for a marine biologist.

89
00:02:42,094 --> 00:02:45,832
and he got them to name a new
species of sea slug after me.

90
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:46,834
Oh!

91
00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:47,835
It's called Bruce's

92
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,302
Eastern Sea Slug.

93
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,503
You two are fascinating.
Have you ever

94
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:51,671
considered modeling?

95
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:52,706
KIRBY:
I actually have.

96
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,474
Us?
A-A lot.

97
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,210
I have a rich fantasy life.

98
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:57,844
Oh.
I can't wait to hear
more about that.

99
00:02:57,877 --> 00:02:59,513
Sounds so great.

100
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,314
What are you doing?
Those guys are obviously

101
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,849
not model material.

102
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,651
Because they're not
cookie-cutter hot?

103
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,520
Cece needs a bunch
of different guys,

104
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:08,756
so don't judge a book
by its cover.

105
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,189
Except when you're
talking about models.

106
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,759
Models exist to be on covers.

107
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,026
I think that's
an oversimplification.

108
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,929
I think the best models
have something

109
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,397
to give them
a little personality.

110
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,000
Something... something
that makes them stand apart.

111
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,769
Like a gap in their lower teeth,

112
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,570
or a neck nipple.

113
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:25,372
You're making this
way too complicated.

114
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,840
Look, this is all
it needs to be.

115
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,841
You walk up to a hot guy, okay?

116
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,943
And you say "Hey, you're hot.

117
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,579
Do you want to be a model?"

118
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:32,945
You have to forge
a connection with them.

119
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,414
And that way they entrust us
with the thing

120
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,015
that makes them
really beautiful.

121
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,550
You know what?
You do your thing.

122
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:38,885
I'll do my thing.

123
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,554
But your thing cannot be

124
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,389
going back to the slug guys.

125
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,024
Sea slugs, Reagan.

126
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,893
They're sea slug guys.

127
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,961
But you're right.

128
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,063
You're nasty about it,
but you're right.

129
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,133
CECE:
So, Donovan.

130
00:03:53,165 --> 00:03:54,801
You have something
you want to tell me?

131
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:09,317
(inhales, exhales)

132
00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:15,254
I've... made a big decision.

133
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,557
No, Donovan, don't.

134
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,326
I'm gonna stop wearing beanies.

135
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,326
Wait, what?

136
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,127
I think. I...

137
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,331
That's what you wanted
to talk to me about?

138
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:26,165
I thought some big agency
was trying to poach you.

139
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,401
No. (chuckles)

140
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,802
They've just been
sending me

141
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,002
baskets and trying to take me

142
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,105
to fancy dinners and stuff.

143
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,240
What?

144
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,507
They've just been
giving me baskets

145
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,509
and trying...
Listen to me, okay?

146
00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:36,644
I know

147
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,911
that gift baskets are great.

148
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:39,913
Yeah.
They are.

149
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,314
But once BGE signs you,

150
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,816
there are no more baskets.

151
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,752
Because they don't
care about you.

152
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,153
All they care about are numbers.

153
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,922
But you, Donovan,

154
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,959
you are my first priority.

155
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,125
So when you're with me,

156
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,495
you will never feel neglected.

157
00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:56,997
Just tell me what you need.

158
00:04:57,029 --> 00:04:58,130
I got you.

159
00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,500
I need someone
to help me get better

160
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,634
at tricks on my motorcycle.

161
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,836
Sure.

162
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,206
(grunts)
Mmm.

163
00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:08,208
I really hate these things.
I just can't stop eating 'em.

164
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,476
I got to say,
the taste is average,

165
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,845
but the aftertaste
is outstanding.

166
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,047
What happens when I'm
just an outstanding aftertaste?

167
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,783
Hmm?

168
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,783
When I move out,
are you guys gonna

169
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:17,985
forget about me like Coach?

170
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,286
This loft is what
tethers us together.

171
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:24,024
And once it's gone, we're gonna
be spread across the earth

172
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,725
like Rod Stewart's offspring.

173
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,995
What I'm gonna miss most
about you is all this poetry.

174
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,295
No, no, no.
You know what,

175
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,064
do not give up
on us already.

176
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,500
We just need to find something
that keeps us together.

177
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,735
Like a dark secret
or a time-share.

178
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,370
You know, it was easier
when men went to war.

179
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,172
You'd forge an
unbreakable bond

180
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,173
in a crucible of
blood and pain.

181
00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:43,810
You can't get that splitting
the cost of toilet paper.

182
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,579
We just need to come up
with some sort of ritual.

183
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:47,680
Yes! Now you're thinking.

184
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,382
We stand in a circle, right?

185
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,483
We burn chicken bones,

186
00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:52,084
all right?
Dear Lord, Winston.

187
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,887
Then we're just secretive
about it.
This is the wrong ritual...

188
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,021
I'm just saying
no one knows about it.

189
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,923
I didn't literally mean
a ritual.

190
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:58,692
Oh.
I just mean, like,
a shared experience,

191
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,427
one that bonds us together.
I've been saying this

192
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,529
for the longest time,
but I'm really ready

193
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:05,533
to get super weird into metal
detectors if you guys are.

194
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,600
That's, sure, that's one idea.

195
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:07,600
You look for treasure.

196
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,069
Nickels, dimes, quarters.

197
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:10,403
If you find
enough, um,

198
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,204
said treasure or change,

199
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,940
supplement your income.

200
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,108
It's also entertaining.

201
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,509
While looking,
there's, uh,

202
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,877
an endorphin rush.

203
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,680
It's entertainment,
it's income... uh, ritual.

204
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,750
Why don't we get tracksuits
and play chess at the park?

205
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,184
I already got a chess crew.

206
00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:27,187
*

207
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,557
You do that right outside
of the loft?

208
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,725
Yeah, right outside the loft.
How have I never seen you once?

209
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:32,725
'Cause you don't go outside
of the loft.

210
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,226
That's just not true.

211
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,228
Fellas,

212
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,430
fellas, fellas, I got it.
Yeah?

213
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:38,466
Metal detectors?

214
00:06:40,132 --> 00:06:41,802
That's a super cool idea, man.

215
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:42,802
I appreciate the idea.

216
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,137
I want to hear more about it.

217
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:48,007
I feel like I'm being teased.

218
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:52,446
Let me guess,
you guys are pre-gaming

219
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,882
before your high school reunion.

220
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,250
You were nerds, but you grew
up to be super handsome.

221
00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:58,586
You were cool
but approachable.

222
00:06:58,619 --> 00:06:59,952
Maybe you were rollerbladers...

223
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,454
Okay. Here's the deal.

224
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:02,656
You're all models now,

225
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,091
and that's your new manager.

226
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,959
H-Hold on a sec. There's
only one number on this card,

227
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,795
and there's two of you.

228
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,262
Oh.
(laughs)

229
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:10,898
You think we're trying
to pick you up,

230
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,665
because we're at a bar
and we're telling you

231
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,901
how handsome you are.

232
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,136
Excuse me.

233
00:07:16,168 --> 00:07:17,605
You're hot,
and you're about to make

234
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:18,971
the easiest decision
of your life.

235
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,007
Not interested.

236
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,908
* Find yourself
a brown-eyed *

237
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,177
* Handsome man
just like your daddy *

238
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,146
* He's a brown-eyed
handsome man *

239
00:07:26,178 --> 00:07:28,115
Don't tell me.
Only child, right?

240
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,283
I guess now I am.

241
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:33,052
As of yesterday.

242
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,290
Sorry, did you...
Did you...

243
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,358
It's loud.
Did you hear what I,

244
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,992
I said?
I said you were hot.

245
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,095
Um, have you ever thought
about modeling?

246
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,930
Lady, you can't treat me
like a piece of meat.

247
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,634
Now, I know I'm hot, but
I don't need your validation.

248
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,701
We're trying to have
a serious conversation here

249
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,103
about why the bees
have disappeared.

250
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,773
* He hit a high fly
into the stands *

251
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,543
If a couple of guys in a bar
can't figure it out, who will?

252
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,211
* He was headed for home

253
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,548
* It was a brown-eyed
handsome man *

254
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:03,716
* They won the game, it was
a brown-eyed handsome man *

255
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:04,951
* They won the game

256
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,620
* It was a brown-eyed
handsome man. *

257
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,021
So, how'd you do?

258
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,990
Got a couple irons
in the fire, so...

259
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,893
Me, too, me, too.
Planted a couple seeds,

260
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:14,894
just waiting
for the harvest.

261
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,629
Hey! Hey, you.

262
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,630
Stop what you're
doing right now.

263
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,831
What? I'm sorry.

264
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:19,867
That's just how I walk.

265
00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:21,033
If I don't swing my arms,

266
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,134
I start thinking I'm standing,

267
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,202
and I'll fall.

268
00:08:23,235 --> 00:08:24,403
Oh...
(chuckles)

269
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,673
Tell me, do you have any
modeling experience?

270
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:27,908
I was trapped
in a window display

271
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,141
in a department store once,

272
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,677
and I was on the news a lot.

273
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:34,313
Are we talking local
or national news?

274
00:08:34,346 --> 00:08:35,481
Oh, that's a good question.

275
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:37,517
Um...

276
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,688
I think-- sorry--
what my friend is trying to say

277
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:44,091
is that it sounds like
you have on-camera experience,

278
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,025
and if you would like,
we can hook you up

279
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,495
with a top talent manager who
could get you an audition today.

280
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,931
I do like hooking my
thumb into my belt loops,

281
00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:51,932
and pulling my pants down...

282
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,567
Yeah. No.
Don't do it now.

283
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,368
But it is
called "the cowboy."

284
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,937
And I can see it's
not your first rodeo.

285
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,673
Okay. Uh, your new
manager's name is Cece.

286
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,908
Go to that address.

287
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,111
Thanks. Okay.

288
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,948
No, don't say it.

289
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,216
We're a team.
No.

290
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,217
I'm the bait,
you're the hook.

291
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,586
I don't think
the bait usually

292
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,687
thinks of the hook
as its teammate.

293
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,188
That's such a hook thing to say.

294
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,591
You're such a hook.

295
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:18,958
You know...

296
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:23,129
I've always wanted
to have a boys spa day.

297
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,067
Nick, did you wear your
shirt during the massage?

298
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,302
I did, but no bottoms.
It was liberating.

299
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:30,302
Good for you.
Check this out.

300
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:33,206
These cucumbers are gratis.

301
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,908
(laughs)
I'm gonna make some pickles.

302
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,710
If you're impressed by a couple
of free cucumbers,

303
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:38,245
get ready to have your
mind blown,

304
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,447
'cause I signed us up
for the elite package.

305
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,414
Does that mean, like,
pickles already pickled?

306
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,618
Gentlemen, eucalyptus towels?
Thank you.

307
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,886
Oh, yeah...
Uh, mine's already wet!

308
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,621
No, no, no, it's for smelling,
not drying.

309
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:49,657
Oh.

310
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,892
Put it up to your face,
smell it.

311
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,760
Mmm. How could a smell
be both hot and cold

312
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,928
at the same time, I ask.
It's nice.

313
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:56,963
Ooh, this place is dope.

314
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,131
Man, I feel very Roman.

315
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,967
Boys, I think
we found our ritual.

316
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,134
(laughing)
Yeah, we did.

317
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,570
If you gentlemen are ready,
I can take you

318
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:04,638
to your Brazilians.

319
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,139
(laughs)
Sounds very fun.

320
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,274
I'm in a relationship,

321
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,677
myself.
Yeah.

322
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,943
Uh, but I would
love to look.

323
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:12,511
Just point me to
the door, please.

324
00:10:12,544 --> 00:10:14,782
Sir. The elite package at S'Pa

325
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,517
includes the wax removal of hair
from your nether regions.

326
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:22,855
What did you say, homeboy?

327
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,191
Scrotum wax.

328
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,596
No, Schmidt.

329
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,165
Say something.
Say something to him.

330
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:38,004
Donovan, I have some
very good news.

331
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,506
I have a brand-new client

332
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,542
that I am very excited
for you to meet.

333
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,576
I'm Dean and I'm a model.
Mm-hmm.

334
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:47,681
But I'm a model.

335
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,115
No. I'm a model.
Yeah, both models.

336
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,149
No. I'm a model.

337
00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:51,150
No. I-I am a model.

338
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:53,485
I am... I'm the model.

339
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:54,553
But, like, I'm, but I model.

340
00:10:54,586 --> 00:10:55,788
I'm a model.
I model.
You...

341
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,190
I'm a model.
I just told... I'm a model.

342
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:58,826
EstroFuel.
I model.

343
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,626
What the heck is going on?

344
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:03,864
Well, Cece's Boys is growing,
so I'm just gonna help Dean

345
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:06,799
make a résumé for the big
audition we're all gonna go on.

346
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,835
What about my résumé?

347
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:08,836
You already have a résumé.

348
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,303
Well, I-I-I want another one.

349
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,972
And another sandwich.
I want a sandwich, too.

350
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:13,974
Stop copying me!

351
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:16,275
Donovan. Dean.

352
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,413
REAGAN:
Um...

353
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:22,716
Hmm.

354
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,817
(indistinct chatter)

355
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,918
No...

356
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,086
The line between
what we're doing

357
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,188
and being creepy is so thin.
(cell phone rings)

358
00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:30,857
Hey, Cece, what's up?

359
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:31,991
Any luck? The audition's
in an hour,

360
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,225
I'm getting kind of panicky.

361
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,927
Yeah. Totally. Um...

362
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,897
We're just looking for that
perfect Cece's Boys type,

363
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,999
you know... perfect.

364
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,033
Ow!
I don't know hair this short
can get so tangled!

365
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,534
Okay?
You're hurting me.

366
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:43,702
I'm very sorry.
DONOVAN: Cece, I don't know

367
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:45,105
how many buttons
to do on my shirt.

368
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,105
Donovan, please.

369
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,607
Look, Jess.

370
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,076
If you haven't found
anyone by now,

371
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,245
maybe I should just
cut my losses.

372
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,181
Maybe I should just
tell them I only...

373
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,115
No, no, no, no, no.
We actually, um...

374
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,750
(clears throat)
We have two guys, we'll...

375
00:11:57,784 --> 00:12:00,187
You do? Oh!
...bring them right over.

376
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,154
You are the best.
Thank you!

377
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,091
I'm sorry?

378
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,759
I'm gonna be honest.

379
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,394
I don't know
what I'm looking for.

380
00:12:08,427 --> 00:12:11,398
Oh, it-it's the other one.

381
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,133
No.
They have a real look.

382
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,134
What look would that be?

383
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,634
I own my own
dog-walking company?

384
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,070
Branding!

385
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,071
You're good.

386
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,873
You know what?
I believe in them.

387
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,741
And we also
have no other choice.

388
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,411
So let's get them camera-ready.

389
00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,946
How far away is
that camera gonna be?

390
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,346
(laughs)

391
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,822
Okay, guys, let's go...
Oh, hey, Kirby.

392
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,490
Looking good.

393
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,125
That is for cats.

394
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,161
But it's okay.
Put this on.

395
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,729
They're from my roommate's
earthquake kit.

396
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:44,096
He has a three-week supply.

397
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,832
Bruce. Put this on.
They won't recognize you

398
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:48,067
on your next volunteer
shift at the hospital.

399
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,837
Ah. Jess. Hallway.

400
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,340
Okay, are you absolutely sure

401
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,642
that this is the way to go?

402
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:58,912
Can't we get our hands on,
like, a water polo team?

403
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,581
Or hire escorts?

404
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,682
Or call in a bomb
threat to the audition.

405
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,085
In this political environment?

406
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,785
Oh, I'm nervous even saying it.

407
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,187
What about nothing?
No!

408
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:11,524
Is nothing maybe the right
thing to do in this situation?

409
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:13,759
We can't bail on Cece.
This is her shot.

410
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,495
We can't let her
become irrelevant

411
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,965
like chunky belts,
or quoting Borat.

412
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,432
Okay. Well, if I have
to go down with the ship,

413
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,967
I'm not going down
without a fight.

414
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,836
And those two are
gonna need a lot more

415
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,437
than hair gel and V-necks.

416
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,438
They're gonna need
motorcycle boots,

417
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,875
scarves, knit caps,

418
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:31,644
and all the eye makeup
that Schmidt's got.

419
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,379
DEAN (muffled):
Cece?

420
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,148
Hello?

421
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,850
Cece?

422
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,552
(muttering)
What are you doing in here?

423
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:41,955
Donovan told me to wait here
in your break room

424
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,623
and then he left.
What?!

425
00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:45,524
And I couldn't open the door
and it was really dark.

426
00:13:45,557 --> 00:13:47,659
Donovan, get in here right now!

427
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,129
Donovan, we have
an audition

428
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,066
in an hour and you
lock Dean in a closet?

429
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,366
Well, you said
I was your number one client.

430
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,835
Okay. No. Wait, Donovan.

431
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,571
I'm out of here.
Just calm down. Wait.

432
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,073
I went the wrong way.
Don't look.

433
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,875
(whispering):
So, what are we thinking?

434
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,311
I don't know. Maybe they give
you something to bite down on.

435
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,812
No, I'm talking about leaving!

436
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,014
You're being
so dramatic right now.

437
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,380
I don't think
I'm being dramatic.

438
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,250
Look, I'll say it now
without any drama.

439
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,320
I don't want the hairs ripped
off my testicles by a stranger.

440
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,854
I think they're there
for a reason.

441
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,322
They are trained professionals
in there.

442
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:19,525
This isn't gonna be some
back-alley sack waxing.

443
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,028
They have those?

444
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,062
I'm sure they do,
but this isn't one of them.

445
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,063
Who would go to that one?

446
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:25,731
(sputters) Well, sometimes,
in an emergency,

447
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:28,235
you got to do
what you got to do.

448
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:29,869
What would
the emergency ever be?

449
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,671
Nick, this is gonna be like
cottage cheese all over again.

450
00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:33,673
At first, you're gonna be
kicking and screaming,

451
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,874
saying that you
don't want to try it,

452
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,576
but I'm telling
you, in the end,

453
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,677
you're gonna tell everybody that
you meet how much you loved it.

454
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,113
This is nothing
like cottage cheese.

455
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,748
Exactly like cottage cheese.

456
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,582
Guys, I have off-the-charts
follicle strength, okay?

457
00:14:43,615 --> 00:14:45,884
It'll be a blood bath down
there, a real crime scene,

458
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,419
so I'm leaning, "No."

459
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,056
I'm out.
Like my mother says

460
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,423
at every party she goes to,

461
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,692
"No one touches my purse."

462
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,594
Good day.
Wait. Sit.

463
00:14:54,626 --> 00:14:56,263
Wait. Sit down.
You guys don't

464
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,197
need to leave.
Just a minute ago,

465
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,865
you were saying how much
you love this place.

466
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,869
Just don't get your sack waxed.

467
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,803
Okay, I don't care
how big the park is.

468
00:15:04,836 --> 00:15:06,806
If there is a loose bear in it,

469
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,408
I'm not going in the park!

470
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,775
I'm never going
in that park again!

471
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:11,443
I'm never going in again!

472
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,445
But this is our ritual!

473
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:13,446
Schmidt,
we'll just find a new one.

474
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,614
Easy for you to say.

475
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,782
You two guys
are still gonna be

476
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,250
living together in the loft,

477
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,951
saying, "Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

478
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,953
I didn't know you were
in here in the bathroom."

479
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,722
And coming up with clever
names for the Wi-Fi network

480
00:15:23,755 --> 00:15:26,426
like, "This Is 4D."
That's pretty good.

481
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:28,561
I'd say we just... Let's agree
right now to switch it to that.

482
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,330
Points is, is your lives
are going to go on,

483
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:33,633
and I'll just always be
that weirdo you once lived with.

484
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,138
So you know what?

485
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,407
I am gonna get

486
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,174
my sack waxed.

487
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,576
So enjoy the rest
of your lives together.

488
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,379
I'm gonna go shuck this corn.

489
00:15:47,679 --> 00:15:49,581
Oh, man.

490
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,584
Hey, do you think
they'll take a picture of him

491
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,620
just as they rip
like they do on roller coasters?

492
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,288
I think you missed the point
of what just happened.

493
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,325
(laughing)

494
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:05,764
Did you just see that?

495
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,798
No. I had my eyes closed.

496
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:08,301
I was saying a
non-denominational prayer

497
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:09,769
for Bruce and Kirby.
What did I miss?

498
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,837
That woman just
checked out our guys.

499
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:14,506
Like, she-she really
checked them out.

500
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:17,144
Maybe we have a chance.
I don't know.

501
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:19,011
Did you hear what
you just said?

502
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,980
What?
You said, "Our guys."

503
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,349
Okay, let's just go in.

504
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,615
Our guys!

505
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:24,616
Don't get sentimental.

506
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:25,618
Our guys.

507
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:26,852
Oh, you get off of me.

508
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:28,388
Our guys!

509
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:33,025
(indistinct chatter)

510
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:46,505
Jess, I asked for models,
not a couple

511
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:48,975
of driver's ed instructors.

512
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,177
I know, Cece, but they're
hot on the inside.

513
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,047
Bruce teaches CPR to children
with irregular mouths,

514
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:57,084
and Kirby has given so much bone
marrow, they told him to stop.

515
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,052
I don't know
how that's gonna help them

516
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:00,419
at a print ad audition.

517
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:02,154
You're right, she's right.

518
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,156
I don't know what
we were thinking.

519
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,326
Let's go put these dogs down.
Why did we even give them names?

520
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,327
They came with names.

521
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,561
Right, I guess
what I meant

522
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,631
is why did we bothering
learning them.

523
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,733
Guys,

524
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:15,768
uh, there's

525
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,703
been a little hiccup.

526
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,038
We're allowed
to eat all these, right?

527
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:20,106
I just love them.

528
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,742
Yeah, you guys
can keep eating. Um,

529
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:27,346
so, there's no way to sugarcoat
this, but the truth is...

530
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,781
(shushing)
Wait, wait, wait...

531
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,884
Ooh, nasty!
So gross, right?

532
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:32,884
(shushing)
Cece?

533
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:35,521
Cece, come here.

534
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,723
What?
Look around this room.

535
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,992
Nobody's eating these things
but them.

536
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,130
Oh, my God, yes!

537
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,763
And they love them.

538
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,365
It almost makes me
want to try them.

539
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,901
And I emphasize "almost."

540
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:52,003
They're making a mistake.

541
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:57,109
These are the guys
that can sell this stuff.

542
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,577
Not these guys.

543
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,913
But they've already decided
on the direction of the ad.

544
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,281
So tell them to change it!

545
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,817
I mean, what have you
got to lose?

546
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,826
Hey, Joy.

547
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,894
I'm scared.

548
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:16,929
NICK:
Don't you be scared, kid!

549
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:17,930
Nick?

550
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:19,332
We're here with you, buddy!

551
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,599
Winston!

552
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,933
NICK:
We don't need a ritual, Schmidt,

553
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,935
'cause you're not gonna lose us.

554
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,173
I thought we could've
just told you that,

555
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,307
but Winston thought
we needed to show it.

556
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:29,741
Yeah, I thought
that would be better.

557
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,810
You know,
it makes more sense to me.

558
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,913
Band of brothers.
Band of brothers!

559
00:18:33,945 --> 00:18:35,948
That's right, man.
Band of brothers, bro.

560
00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:37,916
Band of brothers.

561
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,653
You know,
I've been a little bit

562
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:41,921
curious about it
this whole time.

563
00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:44,123
I just couldn't admit it to you
guys, you know?

564
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:45,291
I think this would be
more dignified

565
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,659
if we did it in silence.
SCHMIDT: Of course.

566
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:47,660
Yeah, let's do this in silence.
Good luck, guys.

567
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:48,760
I'm ready for you, lady.

568
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:49,761
Three friends going

569
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,431
on the same silent journey,

570
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,266
together, yet separate,

571
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,701
alone, yet closer than ever.

572
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:56,969
(screaming)

573
00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:58,671
Nick?
I'm all right!

574
00:18:58,704 --> 00:18:59,971
(paper ripping,
Winston screaming)

575
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,141
SCHMIDT:
Winston?
Can you hear me, Schmidt?!

576
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,675
You hang in there,
you son of a... (screaming)

577
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,644
Aah! This woman's
ripping it off!

578
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:08,315
(shrieking)

579
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,984
Ooh! That's actually
kind of warm. Ouch!

580
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,854
No! Okay, time out, time out,
time out, time out,

581
00:19:14,886 --> 00:19:16,355
time out, time out,
time out, time out, time out!

582
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:17,957
(paper rips)

583
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,392
(slowed-down,
distorted speech)

584
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:21,794
(screaming)

585
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,895
(slowed-down yelling)

586
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,666
(slow-motion, distorted):
No, no, no! No!

587
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,801
(yelling, ripping sound)

588
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,038
(yelling)

589
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,640
(ripping sound)

590
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,208
(distorted yelling)

591
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,044
(distorted groaning)

592
00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:40,179
(distorted yelling)

593
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,580
(distorted):
Oh!

594
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,682
(yelling and howling)

595
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,455
How many times
do you freakin' do it?!

596
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,192
Okay, good. You
both are here.

597
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,994
So, guess who got the
Sausage Crunchies job.

598
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,265
(gasps)
Oh, yay, Kirby!
Hey, Kirby!

599
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,066
Not Kirby, but I am going
to hang on to him.

600
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:02,101
I think he could book
ads for both fast food

601
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,536
and anti-depressants.

602
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,003
Ah.
Bruce?

603
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,005
They absolutely hated Bruce.

604
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,106
He got sick during the audition.

605
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,676
Sausage Crunchies everywhere.
That's a lot.

606
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,445
But they loved Dean!

607
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,047
Mm. (laughs)
Oh, it's nice to see

608
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,749
the good guys win.
Right?!

609
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:19,751
They said I brought them the
best and the worst of the day,

610
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,454
so... maybe that's my thing.

611
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,123
Hmm.
Can I throw out this,

612
00:20:24,155 --> 00:20:26,057
uh, soggy bag of cucumbers?

613
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,058
WINSTON:
No!

614
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:28,528
Those are pickles in progress.

615
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,762
(groaning)

616
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,064
Um, I don't mean to be mean,
but you guys are being real

617
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:33,599
babies about this whole thing.

618
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:34,767
(laughs)
They don't...

619
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,435
Until you've had
your sack waxed,

620
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:37,737
you can't know this pain.

621
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:38,971
Excuse me?
Childbirth?

622
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,940
Weekly wax, top to tail.

623
00:20:40,972 --> 00:20:42,775
We went through hell,
and we came out

624
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,042
the other side, gentlemen.

625
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,778
It was war.

626
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:46,878
Granted, one that took place

627
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:50,616
in a high end-spa,
but still our war.

628
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,084
(laughs)
That's right.

629
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:53,152
I mean, this not something
we do every week, right?

630
00:20:53,184 --> 00:20:54,153
No, it's like a monthly thing.

631
00:20:54,185 --> 00:20:55,954
Monthly?
Not a chance!

632
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:58,325
It's our ritual.
No. No, no, no, no.
One time only.

633
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,326
Guys, how can it be a ritual
if we only do it one time?

634
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,162
Shut up, Schmidt!
I will never go back!

635
00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:08,601
(Winston crying)

636
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:11,604
NICK: It's okay, man. We're
gonna get metal detectors.

637
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:13,605
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH