1
00:00:01,304 --> 00:00:03,263
Game time, folks.
Hands up, pants up.

2
00:00:03,306 --> 00:00:05,700
Reagan is moving in today
and I don't want her thinking

3
00:00:05,743 --> 00:00:07,833
that we're making a big fuss
about it.

4
00:00:07,876 --> 00:00:09,444
Hey, Schmidty,
what are you doing, bud?

5
00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:11,054
I'm opening up
a subtle Montepulciano.

6
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,099
It's a welcoming wine.

7
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:13,621
Put out nothing!
Be cool.

8
00:00:13,664 --> 00:00:14,666
[groans]
Winston,

9
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,146
when she gets here,
act casually.

10
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,277
Pretend like you didn't
even know she was coming.

11
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,496
As I live and breathe,

12
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,629
Raisin?!

13
00:00:21,672 --> 00:00:22,760
Aw, did I say Raisin?Yeah.

14
00:00:22,804 --> 00:00:24,632
Too weird. Go practice
in your room.

15
00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:26,678
I'm very mad at you. Go.What is happening?

16
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,158
Hi.It needs to look messier.

17
00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:29,289
It needs to look messy.

18
00:00:29,332 --> 00:00:31,117
You are having a straight up
anxiety attack right now.

19
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,423
Nick, Nick, calm down.

20
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,076
You guys lived together
in New Orleans.

21
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,296
If the old girl
didn't like the dinner,

22
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,081
she wouldn't come back
for seconds.

23
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,213
New Orleans was temporary. Okay?

24
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:42,302
Reagan has never
stayed in one place too long.

25
00:00:42,345 --> 00:00:43,347
If she thinks
we're making a big deal,

26
00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:44,131
she's gonna feel smothered.

27
00:00:44,173 --> 00:00:45,348
Okay? So you've got
to do the opposite.

28
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,134
It's not a big deal.

29
00:00:47,176 --> 00:00:49,136
That's why I didn't pick
her up from the airport.

30
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,441
You didn't pick her up
from the airport?

31
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,268
Didn't this woman change

32
00:00:51,311 --> 00:00:52,313
her whole job

33
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,271
so she can move here
to be with you?

34
00:00:54,314 --> 00:00:56,317
She is gonna be pissed.

35
00:00:56,359 --> 00:00:57,317
Uh, no.

36
00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,101
No.

37
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,146
[whispering]:
Yes, she is.

38
00:01:00,189 --> 00:01:01,322
No, you're wrong.
She's gonna be relieved.

39
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,278
Pissed.

40
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:03,454
No, she isn't. You're wrong.

41
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,498
No.
Reagan hates,

42
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,891
hates this kind of stuff.

43
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:08,111
In New Orleans,

44
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:09,242
once while
she was sleeping,

45
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,158
I tried to cover her
with a blanket to be sweet

46
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,159
and she basically
choked me out.

47
00:01:12,201 --> 00:01:13,507
I understand that.

48
00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:15,117
What's in the bag, Jess?[chuckles]

49
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,337
These are old lady caramels,

50
00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:18,338
just a little thing that
Reagan and I have.

51
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,340
You and Reagan have things?

52
00:01:19,382 --> 00:01:20,341
I didn't even know
you guys were in touch.

53
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,256
Yeah, we text. You know.

54
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:23,605
We also send each other pictures

55
00:01:23,647 --> 00:01:26,173
of bears wearing backpacks
and other humorous exchanges.

56
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:27,825
What?

57
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:28,783
How about we all relax
with a nice cheese plate?

58
00:01:28,826 --> 00:01:30,176
Look at that halloumi.

59
00:01:30,219 --> 00:01:32,222
Love halloumi.
No, no, no, no
no, no, no.
What?

60
00:01:32,265 --> 00:01:33,222
Too late. You're banned.
Go to Winston's room

61
00:01:33,266 --> 00:01:34,268
right now.

62
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:36,617
Reagan!
Hi.

63
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:38,359
Hey.
Oh, Reagan,
it's good to see you.

64
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,228
You made it.

65
00:01:39,272 --> 00:01:40,186
Hey.

66
00:01:40,229 --> 00:01:42,231
Uh, two duffel bags,
that's all?

67
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,277
Yeah, well, I travel light,
which is lucky for me

68
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,496
because the only way I could
get here from the airport

69
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,151
was to split a cab with a lady

70
00:01:48,194 --> 00:01:49,325
who was eating a sub
from the middle.

71
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:51,198
JESS:
Ha-ha!

72
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,242
[in old woman voice]:
Caramel?

73
00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,811
Well, I can't eat these yet
'cause I don't have my teeth in.

74
00:01:55,853 --> 00:01:56,811
JESS [in old woman voice]:
It reminds me

75
00:01:56,854 --> 00:01:58,161
of a cardboard tea set

76
00:01:58,204 --> 00:02:00,250
I had during the war.

77
00:02:00,293 --> 00:02:01,599
What am I looking at?We had to save

78
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:04,079
all the metal
for the boys.
[chuckles]

79
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:05,820
Well, look who it is.

80
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:06,909
Raisin.

81
00:02:08,431 --> 00:02:09,651
I said Raisin again,
didn't I?

82
00:02:09,693 --> 00:02:11,695
♪

83
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:16,439
Hey, Jess. How are you doing
with everything?

84
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,224
You know, Nick, Reagan,
living across the hall.

85
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,530
Totally fine.
I didn't hear a thing.

86
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:21,009
I took every precaution.

87
00:02:21,052 --> 00:02:22,663
NICK [muffled]:
Oh, Reagan.

88
00:02:22,706 --> 00:02:24,318
[Reagan giggling][fan whirring]

89
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:25,406
NICK [muffled]:
Okay, now.

90
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,146
[vacuum whirring]

91
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,281
That was a good call.
They sounded like two Germans

92
00:02:32,325 --> 00:02:34,457
having a sponge fight.Aah, aah...

93
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:35,241
That's how I was.
It was disgusting.

94
00:02:35,284 --> 00:02:37,199
Gross.How are you doing otherwise?

95
00:02:37,243 --> 00:02:40,203
I mean, sure, my feelings
for Nick are complicated,

96
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,421
but I have a boyfriend.

97
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,336
He has a girlfriend,

98
00:02:43,379 --> 00:02:45,207
who I have mad
inside jokes with.

99
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,991
Everything's gonna be fine

100
00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,298
as long as I stay
out of their stuff.

101
00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:50,343
Hmm.

102
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:52,215
It's a little weird

103
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,302
he didn't pick her up
from the airport,

104
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:55,391
though, right?

105
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,308
That's an example of the stuff
that I'd like to stay out of.

106
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,876
Hmm.

107
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:02,790
Oh.
You've been practicing.

108
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:03,617
Ow.

109
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,575
St... [groans]
Yes.

110
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,621
Hello, normals.

111
00:03:06,663 --> 00:03:08,579
Hey.I just got back

112
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,623
from the chair district

113
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,451
where I found the perfect

114
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,888
sitting piece for our home.

115
00:03:13,670 --> 00:03:15,629
It's an original Haberman.

116
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:18,459
Hmm.

117
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,373
[chuckles]

118
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,723
It's a Haberman.

119
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,421
It's a Haberman.It's not helping

120
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:27,294
you to repeat it
over and over again.

121
00:03:27,336 --> 00:03:30,426
A print ad for it features
a quote from David Strathairn.

122
00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,253
[under breath]:
Str...

123
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,254
What do you got to say now?

124
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:33,865
[jukebox skipping]Ugh.

125
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,304
Well, there goes
the jukebox.

126
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:38,260
It's been on the fritz
for weeks.

127
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,436
I know.
Whoa.

128
00:03:39,479 --> 00:03:40,915
Hold on, now.

129
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,308
It might have some life
left in it,

130
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,311
thanks to Dr. The Fonz.

131
00:03:45,354 --> 00:03:47,356
Heyyy...

132
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,055
[Winston laughs]

133
00:03:51,099 --> 00:03:53,668
Check me out.

134
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,060
[glass shatters]

135
00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:56,278
What the hell?
Winston!

136
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,280
Ooh!

137
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,151
That's the least
Fonzie move ever.

138
00:03:59,194 --> 00:04:00,326
It was borderline Chachi.

139
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,328
I just wanted to be...

140
00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,199
Art Fonzarelli for a day.

141
00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:04,548
Ugh.You know? Black dude

142
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,157
playing a Jewish dude,
playing an Italian dude

143
00:04:06,201 --> 00:04:07,377
and the world goes 'round.

144
00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:09,205
I think I have some
speakers behind the bar.

145
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,205
I'll just hook up my phone.

146
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,075
WINSTON:
Wait, wait, wait.

147
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,338
Time out, time out, time out.

148
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:13,556
I know I just did something
really stupid,

149
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,296
but why do you automatically

150
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,515
get to be in charge
of the music?

151
00:04:15,558 --> 00:04:16,560
'Cause I have the best taste.

152
00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:17,952
[Cece and Winston laughing]

153
00:04:19,997 --> 00:04:21,435
Oh, no, no, babe.

154
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,350
All you like is electronica.

155
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,439
It's EDM,
electronic dance music...

156
00:04:25,481 --> 00:04:27,918
Yeah, here we go....or what I like
to refer to it as,

157
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,487
as just "M",
because it's the only music.Music.

158
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:33,316
Yeah, listen, Schmidt,
it's trash.

159
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,100
Need I remind you that you
started a petition to get

160
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,363
Enya to play
at the Super Bowl halftime show?

161
00:04:37,406 --> 00:04:38,930
You're misrepresenting
my petition.

162
00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:40,975
Okay? I wanted her to play
on the field

163
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:42,194
during the fourth quarter.

164
00:04:42,237 --> 00:04:43,326
Schmidt, I bet

165
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,023
I could make a fake EDM song

166
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,112
and you couldn't tell it
apart from a real one.

167
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,331
'Cause they all sound like
a robot having a seizure.

168
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:51,899
Noice.

169
00:04:51,942 --> 00:04:53,596
[chuckles]
Not loving this dynamic.

170
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:54,468
We don't care.

171
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:55,468
We'll test it out.

172
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:56,947
Cece and I will make a song.

173
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,776
Ooh.
And if we
fool you,

174
00:04:58,819 --> 00:05:00,995
we're in charge
of the music in the bar,

175
00:05:01,038 --> 00:05:02,475
All Enya, all up in ya.

176
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,216
I'm in.Great.

177
00:05:04,259 --> 00:05:06,480
Have fun looking like idiots,
you morons.

178
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,268
I don't really
have any place to go.

179
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,487
I mean, I came here to hang out
with you guys, so...

180
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,053
Hey, you two lovebirds.

181
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,620
It's your first day
of living together.

182
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,362
So, what are you doing tonight?

183
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,754
I can't do anything tonight.

184
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,495
I picked up an extra
shift at the bar.

185
00:05:22,538 --> 00:05:24,062
No big deal, right?

186
00:05:24,105 --> 00:05:25,367
Yeah.

187
00:05:25,411 --> 00:05:26,456
It's totally fine.

188
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:27,370
NICK:
Everything's
totally fine

189
00:05:27,413 --> 00:05:28,457
and we are good.

190
00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:33,028
Okay, well how about you?
You want to go out

191
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:34,637
and maybe have like
a little ladies' night?

192
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,204
I just feel like
getting really dumb.

193
00:05:36,247 --> 00:05:38,512
Yeah. Dude, I'm the dumbest.

194
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:39,512
It's a date.

195
00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:41,209
I am gonna take
a seven-minute power nap

196
00:05:41,252 --> 00:05:42,558
and then go for a run to preempt

197
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,255
all of this damage
we're gonna do.

198
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,519
I love it, I love it,
I love it.

199
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:46,649
[chuckling]:
Sounds good.

200
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,086
How'd I do?

201
00:05:48,129 --> 00:05:49,653
I'm sorry. What?

202
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,872
With the whole I got to go
to work and cover some shifts.

203
00:05:51,915 --> 00:05:53,264
I don't have to go to work.

204
00:05:53,308 --> 00:05:54,396
I don't have
work tonight.

205
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,442
I'm actually gonna go

206
00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:56,442
to a bowling alley and, uh,

207
00:05:56,485 --> 00:05:58,661
get some beers
and watch people bowl.

208
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:02,404
You lied to Reagan,
so you can watch strangers bowl?

209
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,101
Yeah, definitely.

210
00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:06,060
I'm trying to play it cool.
I don't want to seem needy.

211
00:06:06,103 --> 00:06:08,324
Are you sure you want to start
this thing off with Reagan

212
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,543
by playing a game?

213
00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:11,458
You know what?

214
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:13,807
Actually...

215
00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:15,199
I don't want to get involved.

216
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:16,680
[chuckles]
Do whatever you want.

217
00:06:16,723 --> 00:06:18,682
Just don't tell me about it
'cause Jess is out.

218
00:06:18,725 --> 00:06:21,641
I put a Lego in my shoe
to really push myself.

219
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,468
That sounds painful.

220
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,817
[laughs]
Cool, cool, cool.

221
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:26,211
Have a lot of fun tonight.
Have fun. Okay?

222
00:06:26,254 --> 00:06:27,211
Fun at ladies' night.

223
00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:28,475
Thanks.

224
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,478
Ladies night!

225
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,223
You're such a lightweight.

226
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,531
I feel fine.

227
00:06:41,574 --> 00:06:43,793
Hell of a ladies' night, though.

228
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:46,754
A lot of secrets came out
last night, didn't they?

229
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,192
Secrets?

230
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:53,716
Cece!

231
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,023
[exhales]
I think I really
screwed up

232
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,112
ladies' night.
I know I reek.

233
00:06:57,154 --> 00:06:58,026
[coughs]
Please, please,
don't gag

234
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,375
because then I will gag.

235
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,507
Okay, okay,
it's really hard though, man.

236
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:01,855
I think something
terrible happened.

237
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,031
Reagan said,

238
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:05,033
"A lot of secrets came out
last night."

239
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,730
Uh-oh, you think
she knows about Nick?

240
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,297
I mean, I only have one secret,
so...

241
00:07:08,339 --> 00:07:09,951
it's got to be
the Nick thing.It's the Nick thing.

242
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:11,908
This is bad. Really bad.

243
00:07:11,952 --> 00:07:12,692
Yeah, it's not good.

244
00:07:12,735 --> 00:07:13,954
Ah, how could I let this happen?

245
00:07:13,997 --> 00:07:15,303
[retching][gagging]

246
00:07:15,346 --> 00:07:16,740
I'm sorry, I was holding
my breath the whole time.

247
00:07:16,783 --> 00:07:17,740
[retching]

248
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,612
[gagging]

249
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,136
[blowing]

250
00:07:21,178 --> 00:07:22,528
[coughing]

251
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,964
[retching]

252
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,144
Oh, my God.
[groans]

253
00:07:30,187 --> 00:07:32,581
You need to calm down.
All right, just take a breath.

254
00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:34,062
Think of Michelle Obama.

255
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:35,889
[sighing]:
She's so strong.

256
00:07:35,932 --> 00:07:37,369
See, it's working already.

257
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,067
Besides, you don't even know
what you told Reagan.

258
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,548
I know she said that we have
a secret between us.

259
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,766
You don't just say that.

260
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:44,725
Okay, all right.
Tell me what you remember.

261
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,596
Let's just piece together
what happened.

262
00:07:46,639 --> 00:07:47,596
Just the two of you?

263
00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:49,643
Oh, look.

264
00:07:49,685 --> 00:07:52,514
This bar has hooks for
our purses. [chuckles]

265
00:07:52,558 --> 00:07:53,951
Score. Thank you.

266
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,605
Skip to the next track.

267
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:58,086
Splash, bitch, splash!

268
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,218
I'm gonna splash you
in your dumb wet face.

269
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:02,089
[laughing]I really need to wash my hands.

270
00:08:02,132 --> 00:08:03,918
New friend!
New friend!

271
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,788
Is this leading to the secret?

272
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,182
I don't know, Cece.

273
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,226
My brain is a smoking wreckage

274
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,968
and I'm trying to find
the black box.

275
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:11,968
Okay, let's try
to jump-start it.

276
00:08:12,012 --> 00:08:13,884
Okay? Let me try something.

277
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:14,971
Secret!

278
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,016
Secret.

279
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,800
Secret!What are you doing?

280
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:18,759
Secret!This is not gonna work.

281
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,237
Secret!It was something about a pool.

282
00:08:21,064 --> 00:08:22,762
Oh, my God, Cece.

283
00:08:22,805 --> 00:08:23,764
You're amazing.

284
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:24,764
You should work for the CIA.

285
00:08:24,807 --> 00:08:26,593
I know.
Stay focused on the pool.

286
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:30,117
I hate the way that tastes.

287
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,771
Idea.What?

288
00:08:31,814 --> 00:08:32,816
Let's go to the pool.

289
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,557
Is "pool" cocaine?

290
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,384
I mean,

291
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,777
is "the pool," like,

292
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:37,778
a drug thing?
'Cause I don't "swim."

293
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,605
Like, I-I don't judge people
who do "swim,"

294
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,042
but I don't.
No,

295
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,129
it's a real pool.

296
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,826
An actual pool at my apartment,

297
00:08:43,870 --> 00:08:45,176
my other apartment.

298
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,221
[gasps]

299
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,485
[whispers]:
I have another apartment.

300
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:51,486
No, no...
It's a secret.

301
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:52,575
Don't tell Nick,
don't tell Nick.

302
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,707
No.
Shh.

303
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,230
Oh, no.
Shh, shh, shh, shh,

304
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,624
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh...

305
00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,844
Okay, well, it's time
to do future Jess a solid

306
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,629
and black the hell out.

307
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,587
Reagan has a secret apartment.

308
00:09:05,631 --> 00:09:06,850
A secret apartment?

309
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,982
Past Jess was trying
to keep me out of this.

310
00:09:09,025 --> 00:09:10,636
What is she, a D.C. madam?

311
00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,552
I have to make sure
Nick never finds out about this.

312
00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:15,946
You know what?

313
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:17,164
I'm gonna stay out of it.

314
00:09:17,207 --> 00:09:18,861
Hmm.Classic Jess,

315
00:09:18,905 --> 00:09:21,691
staying all the way out of it.

316
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,259
When we are done with this song,

317
00:09:25,302 --> 00:09:27,740
Schmidt will totally think

318
00:09:27,783 --> 00:09:30,264
it is by Diplo or Garrix

319
00:09:30,307 --> 00:09:31,134
or Deadmau5.

320
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,615
What is this?

321
00:09:32,658 --> 00:09:33,659
Don't worry about that,

322
00:09:33,702 --> 00:09:34,661
your mind is
in a weird situation.

323
00:09:34,703 --> 00:09:35,966
First things first.

324
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,186
I recorded a bunch of noises
around the loft.

325
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:39,187
Right?
Mm-hmm.

326
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,667
So we could use it as the hook.

327
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,798
It is the mark of any EDM song.

328
00:09:42,842 --> 00:09:43,974
Okay.
Now, check this one out.

329
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:46,976
Nick shaving
without shaving cream.

330
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:50,024
[Nick grunting]

331
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,113
He's bleeding at this point.It's good, I'm just
laughing at...

332
00:09:52,155 --> 00:09:54,071
Yeah, it's nasty.
Okay, check this one out.Just seeing him.

333
00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:55,812
SCHMIDT: Haberman, my Haberman.
Haberman, my Haberman.

334
00:09:55,855 --> 00:09:57,248
My-my-my-my Haberman.

335
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,033
This one has a pretty
good rhythm to it.
All right,

336
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:00,817
this one right here is about
to set the city up topsy-turvy.

337
00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:02,078
All right.Ferguson going to town

338
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:04,038
on Jess's bunny slippers.

339
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:07,823
[restrained laughter]

340
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:09,259
It's not-- nothing.

341
00:10:09,303 --> 00:10:11,480
Ferguson, you nasty.Did you hit the button?

342
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,221
You see, he's a gentle lover.
You understand?

343
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:14,570
That's why you can't really
hear anything,

344
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,658
but you can feel
what the slipper is feeling.

345
00:10:16,702 --> 00:10:19,269
There's no sound.
I can't hear anything.No, you got to-- he's a...

346
00:10:19,313 --> 00:10:20,923
He's a gentle lover.There's no sound in there!

347
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:21,794
He's a gentle lover!You're just there with the phone

348
00:10:21,837 --> 00:10:22,883
and there's no sound.

349
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:23,753
Hello.You don't understand.

350
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:24,580
Oh, hey.

351
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,928
Yeah, it's not so easy, is it?

352
00:10:25,972 --> 00:10:27,061
Can't just snap your fingers

353
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:30,933
and become a couple
of Calvin Harrises-e-es.

354
00:10:30,977 --> 00:10:32,153
WINSTON:
Listen, this is all

355
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,894
part of our process, okay?
So beat it.
Yeah.

356
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:34,807
CECE: Shoo.We got a song to write

357
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:35,938
that's gonna give you

358
00:10:35,982 --> 00:10:39,115
the best damn aural
you have ever had.

359
00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:40,900
Check yourself.

360
00:10:40,943 --> 00:10:43,293
Oh, A-U-R-A-L.

361
00:10:43,337 --> 00:10:44,077
Mmm.CECE: For your ears.

362
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,081
Yeah.
Noice.

363
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:49,561
Well, I will see you
on game day, suckas.

364
00:10:50,953 --> 00:10:51,738
Ow.

365
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,913
You're not very scary.

366
00:10:53,956 --> 00:10:54,827
We cannot let him get
away with that, okay?

367
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:56,133
We need to dig
deep, Winston.

368
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:58,482
Do I look scared?
[chuckles]

369
00:10:58,527 --> 00:10:59,962
Watch this.

370
00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:01,355
[Nick moaning]

371
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:02,923
Oh, that's just Nick
eating a microwave burrito.

372
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,706
No, that actually
almost works.

373
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,143
Really?
Yeah.

374
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,404
[Nick moaning rhythmically]

375
00:11:07,448 --> 00:11:08,711
SCHMIDT: Haberman.JESS: It was something

376
00:11:08,754 --> 00:11:10,321
about a pool.[Nick moaning rhythmically]

377
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,583
SCHMIDT: Haberman. My-my-my...

378
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:13,410
What the hell is that?

379
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:14,412
Hmm? Oh, I recorded

380
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,761
some candid audio. Yeah,

381
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:18,154
I need this track to be real.[Nick moaning]

382
00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:19,982
JESS [echoing]: Reagan has
a secret apartment.

383
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,115
CECE:
A secret apartment?

384
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,855
[Nick moaning]SCHMIDT: Haberman.

385
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:24,379
JESS: Reagan has
a secret apartment.CECE: A secret apartment?

386
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:25,989
Wait, what?

387
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,207
Thank you.
It's missing a "what."

388
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:28,208
What?!

389
00:11:28,251 --> 00:11:31,125
Reagan has a secret apartment?

390
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:32,125
You feeling it, huh?

391
00:11:32,168 --> 00:11:33,779
WINSTON:
What?![Nick moaning]

392
00:11:33,822 --> 00:11:35,302
SCHMIDT: Haberman. My-my-my...Oh, oh.

393
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,303
[Nick moaning]

394
00:11:36,346 --> 00:11:37,957
That's very bad. I'm sorry, man.

395
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,307
JESS [echoing]:
Reagan has a secret apartment.

396
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:40,524
WINSTON:
What?!

397
00:11:40,568 --> 00:11:41,875
[laughing]:
This track is right, though.

398
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,311
Reagan has a secret apartment.CECE: A secret apartment?

399
00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:45,269
SCHMIDT: Haberman.WINSTON: What?!

400
00:11:48,010 --> 00:11:50,360
I can't believe my girlfriend
has a secret apartment!

401
00:11:50,404 --> 00:11:52,145
I'm sure there's
some explanation.

402
00:11:52,188 --> 00:11:54,017
I can think of one
of two things. One,

403
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:54,801
she's worried she's
making a mistake

404
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,366
by living with me.

405
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:59,196
Or two, and this one
is way more realistic,

406
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,544
she has a secret family.

407
00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:01,807
Only men have secret families.

408
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,852
Look, just go talk to Reagan.

409
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:04,941
I can't just run
into the bathroom shouting,

410
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,899
"You have a secret apartment,"
Jess.

411
00:12:06,942 --> 00:12:08,683
She'll bolt...

412
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,076
to her secret apartment!

413
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,034
You talk to her.

414
00:12:12,078 --> 00:12:13,167
Find out what the deal is.

415
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,124
No way I'm getting involved.

416
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,995
You leaked the intel to Cece.

417
00:12:16,038 --> 00:12:17,562
You're deeper than any of us.

418
00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:19,129
I was secretly recorded.

419
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,652
That is a felony, by the way.

420
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:22,176
This is between you and Reagan.

421
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:24,264
Jess, you've got to talk to her.

422
00:12:24,307 --> 00:12:25,352
You've got to
deal with this.

423
00:12:25,395 --> 00:12:26,354
She trusts you.

424
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,616
Please, you've got to help.

425
00:12:30,052 --> 00:12:31,359
[knocking]

426
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,360
Hey...

427
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:33,230
Ray Ray.

428
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,231
Boo Boo?

429
00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:36,929
Is this about the apartment?Damn.

430
00:12:36,972 --> 00:12:38,975
Jess, I know I put you
in a weird spot

431
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,150
by telling you about it.

432
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:42,936
Whatever the explanation,
it's okay.

433
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:44,240
I don't need to know anything

434
00:12:44,284 --> 00:12:46,243
except, like,

435
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,941
when did you get it,

436
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,419
is it, like, a real,

437
00:12:49,463 --> 00:12:52,249
genuine place, or is it, like,
a playing it cool thing,

438
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:55,209
like Nick's fake bar shift?

439
00:12:55,251 --> 00:12:56,384
What?What?

440
00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:59,081
You said "fake bar shift,"

441
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:00,169
so does that mean

442
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,171
that he didn't have to go

443
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,216
to work and that he lied to me?

444
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:03,477
Oh my God, you know who should

445
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:04,696
talk to about this,
because he could

446
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,089
answer all your questions,
is Nick.

447
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,655
No.Nick!

448
00:13:07,698 --> 00:13:08,657
No. I don't want to talk to himHey, Nick!

449
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:09,658
about anything.
Nick!

450
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:10,964
Oh, weird.

451
00:13:11,006 --> 00:13:12,399
I had no idea you were
having a conversation

452
00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:13,705
[chuckling]:
with Reagan right now.

453
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,054
We are in the middle
of a conversation

454
00:13:15,097 --> 00:13:16,056
that we need to finish,

455
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,884
so maybe we'll do that
over drinks.

456
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,494
Did you have other plans?
Maybe you wanted

457
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:21,191
to have a conversation
with somebody.

458
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,626
Well, I'd love to finish
our conversation, Jess,

459
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,238
so maybe you and I
should get a drink.

460
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,847
You know what?
After last night,

461
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,023
the only drink I can handle

462
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,850
is room temperature milk.You guys got crazy?

463
00:13:28,894 --> 00:13:30,200
Don't worry about it. I just
really would want to be able...

464
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,115
I would love to finish
our conversation.

465
00:13:32,158 --> 00:13:35,118
We started ours first, so we
should finish ours earlier.

466
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,293
It's basic time science.

467
00:13:36,336 --> 00:13:37,120
It's time science?

468
00:13:37,163 --> 00:13:38,338
Yeah, it's time science.

469
00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:39,730
You told me that
you don't believe in watches

470
00:13:39,774 --> 00:13:40,994
or clocks,
so I don't really think

471
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:42,298
this is a very valid argument.No, I said I believe

472
00:13:42,342 --> 00:13:45,040
in watches, I just don't trust
who sets them.

473
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,086
Who sets the time?You set the time.

474
00:13:47,129 --> 00:13:48,261
Why would I set the time?
It's my watch.

475
00:13:48,304 --> 00:13:49,915
Okay, see? Talking is fun.

476
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:51,961
Why don't you guys

477
00:13:52,004 --> 00:13:53,528
continue this conversation

478
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,572
at the bar...

479
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,270
...by yourselves,

480
00:13:57,313 --> 00:13:59,273
without me?

481
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,100
I'll have a milk.

482
00:14:03,058 --> 00:14:05,105
So in front of you,
you have two songs,

483
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,368
one by a recognized EDM
"artist,"

484
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:08,282
quotes intended,

485
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,153
the other is by me.

486
00:14:11,197 --> 00:14:13,243
CECE:
I also helped.
[mocking]:
Yeah, okay.

487
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:14,288
I did!

488
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,725
Lay it on me.Here we go.

489
00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:19,119
♪

490
00:14:21,033 --> 00:14:22,383
[Nick grunting rhythmically]

491
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,037
Stop.
What?

492
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,951
What?You're barely seconds in.

493
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,256
Throbbing bass,
the lone whistle,

494
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:29,085
the gritty caw
of gears grinding.

495
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:31,086
This is clearly
the work of Tim Bergling,

496
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:32,306
better known as

497
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:36,135
Swedish EDM demigod Avicii.WINSTON: Avicii...

498
00:14:36,178 --> 00:14:37,311
As you were.

499
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,529
Oh, my goodness.
Mm.
Boo-yah.

500
00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:42,054
It sucks to be so...

501
00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:43,751
damn right.

502
00:14:43,794 --> 00:14:44,753
Boo-yah!

503
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,101
Yeah!
Oh!

504
00:14:46,145 --> 00:14:48,191
Those ears heard
a Bishop/Parikh

505
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,279
original track.

506
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,412
This must be a shenanigan.WINSTON:
No.

507
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,934
EDM is a shenanigan.Correct.

508
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:56,068
SCHMIDT:
My-my-my Haberman.

509
00:14:56,111 --> 00:14:57,374
Ha!
Ooh!

510
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,809
[music continues playing]

511
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:00,508
Yeah.

512
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,988
[Nick moaning]

513
00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,946
So now, it's gonna be
all Enya...All Enya.

514
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,339
...all the time.

515
00:15:05,381 --> 00:15:07,167
Mm!CECE: All the damn
time, all day.

516
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:09,168
Amenya!
Enya.

517
00:15:09,211 --> 00:15:11,301
How could I have been so wrong?

518
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:12,868
Have I...

519
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,826
always had bad taste?WINSTON:
Just like I said.

520
00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:17,307
Yeah, I said it, too.Ha. Okay, whatever.

521
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,831
I did!Yeah, sure. Nobody heard ya.

522
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,529
If I don't have my taste,
then what's real?

523
00:15:22,572 --> 00:15:25,227
Are cargo shorts gorgeous?

524
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:27,187
Was I wrong about rubber
awareness bracelets?

525
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,232
Should I grow a goatee?

526
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,147
Look, Schmidt, you got fooled.

527
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:32,975
Who cares, man?[chuckles]

528
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,369
I care, Winston. I care.

529
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,110
[exhales] I always thought
of myself as a brand,

530
00:15:38,153 --> 00:15:39,415
as a lifestyle,

531
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,851
but now...

532
00:15:40,895 --> 00:15:44,378
you know what,
I'm gonna take back that chair,

533
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:47,163
and I'm gonna get rid of
all my gingham and I'm gonna...

534
00:15:47,206 --> 00:15:50,253
go buy a 14-pack
of tube socks...

535
00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:52,298
at the grocery store.

536
00:15:53,908 --> 00:15:56,693
We might have taken
this one a little too far.

537
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,870
You took it too far.

538
00:15:58,913 --> 00:16:00,220
Oh, nowI'm involved.

539
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,613
♪

540
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,832
Do you know what
I think is really great?

541
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:08,402
That Nick made time for us, with
his very busy work schedule.

542
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:10,577
You know what'd be fun?
If we were all just direct.

543
00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:12,493
[chuckles]
Just, you know, for laughs.I think

544
00:16:12,535 --> 00:16:14,842
it's really great
that we all, you know,

545
00:16:14,885 --> 00:16:18,586
are just kind of acting
and living like one big family.

546
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:22,154
One big, happy,
non-secret fam...

547
00:16:22,197 --> 00:16:24,895
I am too hungover to deal with
this, so I'm just gonna say it.

548
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,463
Nick, Reagan knows that you
lied about having to work.

549
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,726
Reagan, Nick knows about
your secret apartment.

550
00:16:29,770 --> 00:16:31,511
Jess!
You told her, Jess?

551
00:16:31,554 --> 00:16:34,254
I'm sorry, but now it's all out
there, so you can talk about it.

552
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,211
I can't believe you told her.Let's talk about
how mature it is for you

553
00:16:36,255 --> 00:16:39,475
to pretend to not care
that I switched my job

554
00:16:39,519 --> 00:16:41,173
and moved across
the country for you.

555
00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:44,133
You came from Seattle, pal.
That's down.

556
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:46,614
Are you a cartographer now?Am I a cartographer?

557
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,528
Yeah, did you get your
Bachelor's in map science?

558
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,835
That's what a map scientist is,
a cartographer?
Yes.

559
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,273
Why is everything a code with
you? Just say map scientist.

560
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,187
Guys, let's just try
being sweet to each other.Oh,

561
00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:57,754
should we be sweet like
a friend that spills
the other friend's secrets?

562
00:16:57,798 --> 00:17:00,322
That's a good point.Don't act like you didn't lie.

563
00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:04,240
Your lie was bigger. My lie
didn't require a credit check.

564
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:07,113
Congratulations, Reagan.
You have more apartments
than I have jeans.

565
00:17:07,155 --> 00:17:09,157
So thank God I have
that apartment.

566
00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:10,855
'Cause guess where
I'm sleeping tonight.
Where?

567
00:17:10,898 --> 00:17:12,422
In...

568
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:15,250
[scoffs]

569
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:18,166
♪

570
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:24,955
Well, I'll be in
the honest apartment!

571
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,176
You said that a full two
seconds after the door shut.

572
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:29,743
All right, but I still said it.

573
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,663
This is definitely one of those
creepy apartment complexes

574
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:39,362
for divorced dads
and child actors.

575
00:17:39,405 --> 00:17:41,320
[shouts]:
Reagan!What are we doing here?

576
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:43,323
I thought your whole thing
was not getting involved.

577
00:17:43,365 --> 00:17:46,326
All I want is
to not be involved,

578
00:17:46,368 --> 00:17:48,806
but you and Reagan are acting
like complete idiots,

579
00:17:48,849 --> 00:17:51,982
and for friend reasons
and just basic human decency,

580
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,115
I can't walk away.

581
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,161
Reagan!MAN: Quiet, please.

582
00:17:55,203 --> 00:17:57,292
I'm trying to enjoy
my supermarket salad.

583
00:17:57,336 --> 00:17:58,772
REAGAN:
Why are you guys here?

584
00:18:00,991 --> 00:18:03,256
Hey.
What are you doing?
You... you 'cuing?

585
00:18:03,298 --> 00:18:05,126
I grill. It calms me down.

586
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,346
That's cool.
JESS:
Okay,

587
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,218
you guys need
to start being honest,

588
00:18:09,261 --> 00:18:11,741
and I can't help,
because this whole thing--

589
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:14,267
the three of us living
together-- is awkward enough

590
00:18:14,309 --> 00:18:17,704
without me being in the middle.
All right? So, work it out...

591
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:19,097
now.

592
00:18:20,185 --> 00:18:22,188
♪

593
00:18:25,407 --> 00:18:27,148
Get in here.

594
00:18:27,192 --> 00:18:30,195
The code is, uh... 1234#.

595
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,196
[beeping, clangs]

596
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,936
That's not the code.

597
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:35,243
It's 1234#.[beeping]

598
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:37,289
It doesn't work.

599
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,291
It's #1234, guy.

600
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,597
Oh.
Yeah, that works.
Thanks, man.
MAN: Yep.

601
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,773
[door closes]

602
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,567
See myself out.

603
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:57,309
I got to say, a lot
of international people

604
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:58,180
living here, it's...

605
00:18:58,223 --> 00:19:00,182
there's good
and bad in that, huh?

606
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,965
I feel like we should
probably...

607
00:19:02,009 --> 00:19:03,229
revisit that.

608
00:19:03,271 --> 00:19:04,534
What about your thing, Reagan?

609
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,231
Uh, okay.

610
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,190
Well, my company
rents apartments

611
00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:10,887
for all of their transplants.

612
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,414
And I guess I didn't tell you
about it because...

613
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,547
I'm scared,

614
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:21,115
and I wanted a backup plan.

615
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,813
It checks out.

616
00:19:22,856 --> 00:19:23,901
I just felt like

617
00:19:23,944 --> 00:19:26,208
if I came on too strong,

618
00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:28,471
i-it would scare you away.

619
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,993
That's why I lied.

620
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,910
It checks out.I didn't want
you feeling, like,

621
00:19:32,953 --> 00:19:34,564
you know, you were trapped
in some sack.

622
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,435
Trapped in a sack?

623
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,351
I don't want you to
feel trapped in a sack.

624
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,701
I wish you had used
a less alarming analogy.

625
00:19:40,743 --> 00:19:42,355
Yeah, women are always
afraid of being

626
00:19:42,397 --> 00:19:44,269
trapped in sacks.It's a little dark.

627
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,271
MAN: Will you just kiss
her already, dude?

628
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:48,490
Please tell me you don't know
this guy's name.

629
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:50,711
I don't know the guy's name.That's good. That's a positive.

630
00:19:50,753 --> 00:19:53,192
[laughter]MAN: My name's Kevin.

631
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:55,498
♪

632
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:56,673
[door opens, closes]

633
00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:57,934
WINSTON:
Wow.

634
00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:59,588
Cowboy hat, hockey jersey,

635
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,329
drinking from a Styrofoam cup.

636
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:02,288
You called it perfectly, Cece.

637
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:03,593
CECE:
Pick yourself up.

638
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,464
Figuratively and
literally, 'cause we still

639
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:06,509
haven't fumigated for weevils.

640
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,510
Let the weevils take me away.It was just

641
00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:10,730
a song. Okay? Your
taste is your taste.

642
00:20:10,773 --> 00:20:12,253
It doesn't matter
who else likes it.

643
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,256
WINSTON: Yeah, I mean,
look at Cece, for instance.

644
00:20:14,299 --> 00:20:16,388
She's still rocking
that Planet Hollywood jacket,

645
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,652
and that thing is ugly as hell,
man. Like, it's a really

646
00:20:18,694 --> 00:20:20,871
terrible jacket, and I don't
get why she wears it.

647
00:20:20,914 --> 00:20:23,308
CECE: I mean, take
Winston, for example.

648
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,310
He eats onions like apples.

649
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:26,311
It's disgusting,

650
00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:27,922
his breath smells bad,

651
00:20:27,964 --> 00:20:29,489
it makes no sense, but...Yeah, man.

652
00:20:29,531 --> 00:20:31,490
I be eating them things
right down to the core,

653
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,405
man. [chuckles]Yeah, and you like EDM.

654
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,930
You know what else you like?[door opens]

655
00:20:35,972 --> 00:20:39,412
A brand-new

656
00:20:39,454 --> 00:20:41,500
fancy chair!
[laughter]Chair? I thought this

657
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,372
was the base of a fish tank.[laughs]

658
00:20:43,415 --> 00:20:45,461
NICK: Here you go, man.REAGAN: Happy birthday, Schmidt.

659
00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:47,462
It's not his birthday.

660
00:20:48,028 --> 00:20:49,335
Then why are we doing this?

661
00:20:49,377 --> 00:20:50,988
CECE: Schmidt, you love
this chair, right?

662
00:20:51,031 --> 00:20:53,295
Told you to sit on it, Potsie!REAGAN: The store
had free delivery.

663
00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:54,296
I don't understand
what's going on.I know.

664
00:20:54,339 --> 00:20:55,905
We just do things sometimes.

665
00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:57,256
I never understood it either.

666
00:20:58,692 --> 00:20:59,648
[grunts]

667
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:00,693
JESS:
Is it...

668
00:21:00,737 --> 00:21:03,131
comfortable?Absolutely not.

669
00:21:03,173 --> 00:21:05,351
It's a Haberman.

670
00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:06,700
Play some music
from my mobile device,

671
00:21:06,742 --> 00:21:08,441
that we created, you and me.

672
00:21:08,483 --> 00:21:09,310
♪

673
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,791
Come on. You know you love it.

674
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:15,751
Let us see it
in your feet. Dance!

675
00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:17,450
Haberman.

676
00:21:17,492 --> 00:21:18,451
There we go!Whoo-hoo!

677
00:21:18,493 --> 00:21:20,583
[laughter]Haberman.

678
00:21:20,626 --> 00:21:21,453
SCHMIDT: Yeah.

679
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,455
Yeah, feel it.
Yay!

680
00:21:23,499 --> 00:21:25,240
CECE:
Whoo!

681
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,414
No!

682
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,199
So, this is my life now?

683
00:21:28,242 --> 00:21:30,332
Yep. Welcome home.

684
00:21:30,375 --> 00:21:31,594
Y'all okay with this?

685
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,250
[Nick moans]Haberman.

686
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,251
JESS:
It was something about a pool.

687
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,253
WINSTON: What?!

688
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,212
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH