1
00:00:01,697 --> 00:00:04,830
Welcome to the ceremonial
lighting of the first burner.

2
00:00:04,873 --> 00:00:07,181
Come on, Susan!

3
00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:08,660
There it is![Cece gasps]
Aah!

4
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:11,054
Thanksgiving!
It is 7:00 a.m.

5
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,403
I've actually been up
for two hours.

6
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,622
Let's do this!
Perfect Thanksgiving!

7
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,190
Reagan's coming today,
and I want everything

8
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:18,495
to be great
for the guest of honor.

9
00:00:18,539 --> 00:00:20,062
Oh, th-theguest
of honor?

10
00:00:20,106 --> 00:00:21,195
Yeah, the guest
of honor.

11
00:00:21,237 --> 00:00:23,327
I guess my dad spending
Thanksgiving with me

12
00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:24,850
for the first time ever
is a non-event.

13
00:00:24,893 --> 00:00:27,417
Ooh. Is he bringing
his new squoosh?
Hmm?

14
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,115
Is that a thing
people say?
No.

15
00:00:29,158 --> 00:00:32,640
Mm-mm.
Well, his "squoosh"
has a name, and it's Ann Kim.

16
00:00:32,683 --> 00:00:34,295
She's probably gonna want
to spend some time

17
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:35,643
with you ladies, too,
because you know

18
00:00:35,686 --> 00:00:37,253
how fathers and sons
can be on Thanksgiving.

19
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,734
Drinking beer,
watching the game,

20
00:00:39,777 --> 00:00:41,301
hugging each other in a way

21
00:00:41,344 --> 00:00:43,304
that suggests, "I forgive you
for every-- for everything."

22
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,435
Okay, look, I know
you're excited, but maybe

23
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,350
don't put so much
pressure on it, you know?

24
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,310
I mean, we all, we all
know who your dad is.

25
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,442
Who he was.
Who he was, though.

26
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:52,661
Just don't expect too much.

27
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:53,923
Just be happy that
he's coming at all.

28
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:54,923
So what time's Robby coming?

29
00:00:54,966 --> 00:00:56,143
He's not coming.

30
00:00:56,185 --> 00:00:57,534
He is going to visit his folks.

31
00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:58,753
What's your guys' deal now?

32
00:00:58,796 --> 00:01:00,103
Are you actually together,

33
00:01:00,146 --> 00:01:01,539
or are you just
nursing him back to health

34
00:01:01,582 --> 00:01:03,237
'cause you broke his entire
body and face?

35
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,152
We are not together,
but I don't

36
00:01:05,194 --> 00:01:06,891
think Robby understands that.

37
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:08,155
I wonder why, Jess.

38
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,331
You only hang out with him 24/7.

39
00:01:10,373 --> 00:01:12,549
♪ Come on, baby,
make it hurt so... ♪

40
00:01:12,593 --> 00:01:14,465
[screaming]

41
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,250
I feel mean telling him
we're not dating

42
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,337
when he's in this state.

43
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:18,948
CECE:
It is a lot

44
00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:20,906
meaner to lead him on, okay?

45
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,212
You got to drop the hammer.

46
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:23,518
I know. You're right.

47
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,909
I'll do it
next time I see him.

48
00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:26,347
I'm just dreading it.

49
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:27,478
He's such a good egg.

50
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,698
I mean, with his dad khakis

51
00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:32,265
and his glasses
and his, his...

52
00:01:32,308 --> 00:01:34,354
his sweet little change purse.

53
00:01:34,397 --> 00:01:35,355
You know what?

54
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:37,358
That's it. He's too nice.

55
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,402
There's just no oomph.
Yeah.

56
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,013
It's non-negotiable.
You got to have the oomph.

57
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,058
Yeah, oomph was
all Cece and I had

58
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,320
when we started oomphing.

59
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:45,496
Oh, "oomph" is sex.

60
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,323
Why say that stupid word?
Just say "sex."

61
00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:49,195
Oh, because
it's more than that, Nick.

62
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,371
It's fire. It's passion.

63
00:01:51,414 --> 00:01:52,721
It's ha-cha-cha-cha-cha,
cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Mm.

64
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,243
JESS:
And there's no ha-cha-cha

65
00:01:54,287 --> 00:01:56,158
with Robby. He's too nice.WINSTON:
Well, look,

66
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:58,552
Jess, do what you got to,
but I love that guy.

67
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,206
Robby was there for me

68
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,557
when I got hurt
in the line of duty.

69
00:02:02,599 --> 00:02:04,515
[groaning]
SCHMIDT:
Winston,

70
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,430
you sprained your ankle
running for a bagel.

71
00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:09,563
Yeah. I was at
work, though.Running for a bagel.

72
00:02:09,606 --> 00:02:12,218
Look, Robby's the only one
who understands my pain.

73
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:14,307
Well, nothing makes me happier
than cooking for ten hours

74
00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:17,223
and eating in under 25 minutes.
Chant me in.

75
00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:19,225
ALL [chanting]:
Stuff that bird!

76
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:22,445
Stuff that bird!
Stuff that bird!

77
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,579
Guess who's too
injured to fly?

78
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,188
Is it you?

79
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,235
♪

80
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,628
JESS: Don't get me wrong.
I mean, I feel,

81
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:32,760
I feel like I'm holding

82
00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:34,414
the long end of the wishbone
right now, but,

83
00:02:34,457 --> 00:02:37,199
um, why wouldn't
they let you on the plane?

84
00:02:37,243 --> 00:02:38,635
There was a fit issue.

85
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,247
[groans]
I'm sorry. All right.

86
00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:41,465
I'm so sorry.
[screams]
Oh! Oh!

87
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,423
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.Whoa. Whoa.

88
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,425
[screams] No, no, no, it's fine.Oh! Oh!

89
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:45,643
Well, at least you had the fun

90
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:48,037
of going to the airport
on Thanksgiving.

91
00:02:48,079 --> 00:02:50,561
And I get to hang out with you.[indistinct chatter on TV]

92
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,433
Yay! And boo! Because

93
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:55,566
I already have plans
with a 15-pound cutie.

94
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:58,002
[laughs]
I'm talking about the turkey.[laughs]

95
00:02:58,046 --> 00:03:00,354
Listen, I'm gonna plant you
in front of the parade,

96
00:03:00,396 --> 00:03:03,270
and you're gonna yell out
what balloons go by!

97
00:03:03,312 --> 00:03:05,359
Okay. Okay.MAN [on TV]:
The start of the parade just...

98
00:03:05,401 --> 00:03:07,883
[laughs]
With the speed?!

99
00:03:07,925 --> 00:03:09,276
He like Mayweather
with the knife!

100
00:03:09,318 --> 00:03:10,364
CECE:
Okay, what is going on?

101
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,582
Because you don't even use
a knife to eat a steak?

102
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:15,151
Well, my girl is coming.
Of course my hands are dancing.

103
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:18,240
These knives are a part of me
like that, uh, scissor hand guy.

104
00:03:18,284 --> 00:03:20,242
What is his name again?
Is it Rick Snip?

105
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,811
Did you drop the hammer?I have not dropped the hammer.

106
00:03:22,853 --> 00:03:24,247
Snoopy! Saw Snoopy.

107
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,509
Okay, no. You-you
got to end this.

108
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:27,598
ROBBY: False alarm.
It's just John Stamos

109
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,598
on a Greek yogurt float.

110
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,252
Drop the hammer now?

111
00:03:30,296 --> 00:03:31,602
He can't even tell
the difference

112
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:33,473
between John Stamos and Snoopy.

113
00:03:33,516 --> 00:03:35,301
You can't break a man's heart
on a holiday.

114
00:03:35,344 --> 00:03:37,128
I'm telling you,
it happened to me once,

115
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,828
and that pain-- it comes back
year after year after year.

116
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,525
You don't want to do that
to him, I'm telling you.

117
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:42,656
That's why I'm always a hot mess

118
00:03:42,699 --> 00:03:44,485
on take-your-daughter-to-work
day.

119
00:03:44,527 --> 00:03:45,528
ROBBY:
Uh-oh.

120
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:46,616
It's the senior citizens choir.

121
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:47,836
Get the tissues!

122
00:03:47,878 --> 00:03:48,924
WINSTON:
Look, I'll tell you what, Jess.

123
00:03:48,966 --> 00:03:50,403
I'll keep him busy for the day.

124
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:51,709
You can destroy him tomorrow.

125
00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:53,276
Thank you, Winston.
You know what?

126
00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:54,973
Next
take-your-daughter-to-work-day

127
00:03:55,016 --> 00:03:57,411
is gonna be take-Winston-out-
for-spaghetti day.

128
00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:59,716
I would enjoy that.

129
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,457
I would enjoy that for real.

130
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:02,676
[knocking]

131
00:04:02,719 --> 00:04:04,853
Ooh, it's my daddy!

132
00:04:04,895 --> 00:04:06,637
It's my daddy!

133
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,509
Gobble, gobble.

134
00:04:08,551 --> 00:04:11,120
Happy Thanksgiving, son.

135
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:13,295
I hope you're ready, 'cause I
have a full day planned for us.

136
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,167
First up is a game
of American football

137
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:16,778
featuring the
Cowboys of Dallas.

138
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,867
[crying]

139
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,129
I'm sorry.

140
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,088
It's our first
Thanksgiving together.

141
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,134
Look, I've been crying
all morning, too.

142
00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:26,875
It's... This is a good thing.

143
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,877
Ann Kim broke up with me.

144
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,182
Oh, no.

145
00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:32,663
Excuse me.

146
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:33,882
Da...

147
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:34,925
JESS:
Gavin!

148
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,187
Happy Thanksgiving.

149
00:04:36,231 --> 00:04:38,930
NICK: Hey, Gavin.It just got a whole lot happier.

150
00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:40,497
Excuse me.

151
00:04:41,932 --> 00:04:43,456
Daddy?

152
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:47,329
You remember when you
tongue-kissed that guy?

153
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:51,202
MAN:
Now this marching band

154
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:53,466
has traveled 1,500 miles...

155
00:04:53,509 --> 00:04:55,598
What you taking?
Little boy blues?

156
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,122
Yeah, I've been there.

157
00:04:57,165 --> 00:04:58,558
How many miggies
you working with?

158
00:04:58,601 --> 00:05:00,430
Yeah, my pharmacist
bumped me up to nine.

159
00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:03,824
1,400. Yeah, I have to
take 18 pills an hour

160
00:05:03,867 --> 00:05:06,392
in a very specific order,
and they virtually assured me

161
00:05:06,435 --> 00:05:07,959
that I will be
addicted to them.

162
00:05:08,002 --> 00:05:09,351
Hey.

163
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,223
Hey.

164
00:05:11,266 --> 00:05:12,702
Hey, what happened
to Rick Snip?

165
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:15,358
Uh, gone and, uh...
[sniffles, sighs]

166
00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:17,577
...these tears-- honestly,
they're from the onions.

167
00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:18,927
They're not from Reagan bailing.

168
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:21,408
Oh, no.
Reagan's not coming?

169
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,932
No. She just called. Uh,
her boss sent her to Omaha,

170
00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,716
so she can't make
it, but it's fine.

171
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,415
Oh, I'm sorry, Nick.

172
00:05:28,457 --> 00:05:30,634
I also wear a slow-release
opium patch on my spine.

173
00:05:30,677 --> 00:05:32,593
[laughs]

174
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:33,723
Hey, I ever told you the story

175
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,377
of how I got injured
in the first place?
Yes.

176
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,944
One may think that it started

177
00:05:36,987 --> 00:05:39,730
because of a lack
of bagels, but no.

178
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,646
It started with a surplus of

179
00:05:42,689 --> 00:05:43,733
cream cheese.
Of cream cheese.

180
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,954
Yes, yes, you're familiar
with such happening.

181
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,435
You know what? I think
Jess told me to help her...No, no, no, no. You're good.

182
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,653
Uh, lock you up.
[laughs]

183
00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:52,002
I'm sure she's bummed, too.

184
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,177
How long is she gonna be there?

185
00:05:53,221 --> 00:05:54,528
No idea. I didn't ask.

186
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,050
I just said,
"Happy Thanksgiving."

187
00:05:59,706 --> 00:06:02,100
[sizzling]

188
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,494
[whooshing]

189
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,627
And then I hung up.

190
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,497
Okay, you're gonna have
to leave the kitchen.

191
00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:09,891
The whole sad-guy, whiskey,
flame combination

192
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,502
is starting to worry me.Let me know when

193
00:06:12,545 --> 00:06:14,896
my whiskey boils down to
a crystal so I can eat it.

194
00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:19,422
Hey, Dad,
are you okay in there?

195
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,684
Did you fall in?

196
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,468
That's a dad joke
that I would assumed

197
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,644
I would have heard you make
had you been around more.

198
00:06:24,687 --> 00:06:26,428
GAVIN: I want you to know
I'm not using the bathroom.

199
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,908
I'm just sitting here.

200
00:06:27,951 --> 00:06:30,911
Hey, Dad, you know what's
a great cure for heartache?

201
00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:32,653
A little father-and-son time.

202
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:36,483
You know, we could have
a catch, whittle a stick.

203
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,701
Why don't you just come out?[door squeaks open]

204
00:06:38,745 --> 00:06:41,312
I'm sorry, son.
You're right.

205
00:06:41,356 --> 00:06:43,228
Today is about family.

206
00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:44,447
Yeah.
Yeah. Exactly.

207
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:46,230
There's my favorite
whiskey glass.

208
00:06:46,274 --> 00:06:48,581
Aah. Who wants to get wasted?

209
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:49,670
Me. so badly.

210
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:50,713
Da--
[sighs]

211
00:06:50,757 --> 00:06:52,716
Ugh. I'm so sorry, babe.

212
00:06:52,759 --> 00:06:54,238
Yeah. No. I'm-I'm fine.

213
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:57,459
Look, we don't wear sweaters
and roll around in the leaves,

214
00:06:57,504 --> 00:06:59,375
but there are other ways
for us to bond.

215
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:02,334
If he wants to drink, then,
you know what? I'm gonna drink.

216
00:07:02,377 --> 00:07:04,685
I'm gonna get sloppy
with my poppy.

217
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,903
Nick. Papa!
Wait for me.

218
00:07:06,947 --> 00:07:08,819
Just need to
get my bitters kit.

219
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,690
Ooh, actually,
can you just make sure

220
00:07:10,733 --> 00:07:11,908
that there's a garbage can
next to the bed?

221
00:07:11,952 --> 00:07:15,738
Because... I can't hang.

222
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,348
[indistinct chatter on TV]

223
00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:18,654
Robby!

224
00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:20,831
What are you doing here
with me and not with Winston?

225
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,398
I like Winston, but he's been

226
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,834
telling this bagel story
for ten minutes.

227
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,661
I haven't even met
all the main characters yet.

228
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,533
Plus, I have a little
surprise for you.

229
00:07:27,576 --> 00:07:28,882
To make up for this morning,

230
00:07:28,925 --> 00:07:31,581
the airline gave me
two free tickets

231
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,843
to anywhere
in the contiguous 48 states.

232
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,497
Oh. Ha.

233
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,369
Well, I'd love to, you know,
plan our future,

234
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,980
but we're eating
in under four hours,

235
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,721
and so I have
to put you to work.

236
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,591
Okay, you just, crouton.Oh.

237
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,115
All right. Keep croutonning.

238
00:07:44,158 --> 00:07:46,726
Okay, I'm not that
close to the table.

239
00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:49,425
[clank]
Darn it.

240
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,165
I was just
in the bathroom

241
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:53,776
with my husband
and his father.ROBBY: Nothing but net.

242
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,430
Are you also having
a good Thanksgiving?Hey, Jess.

243
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,997
Check this out.

244
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,564
Did that go in?

245
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,523
Robby got plane tickets,Swish.

246
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,524
and he wants to whisk my away,Nothing but bowl.

247
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:06,093
once he gets better,
which could be months from now.

248
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,661
Jess, I'm looking up
some hotels right now.

249
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,139
Twin bed's okay, right?

250
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,882
Hammer time?

251
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,841
Hammer time.

252
00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:18,540
Cheers.
Yes, sir.

253
00:08:18,584 --> 00:08:19,889
Oh.

254
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,326
This is the dream.

255
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,939
A boy, his dad, his best
friend sharing a drink.

256
00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:27,158
Don't tell Mom, right?

257
00:08:27,201 --> 00:08:28,812
[laughing]:
I'm just kidding.

258
00:08:28,855 --> 00:08:30,117
I know you and Mom haven't
spoken in 30 years,

259
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,598
including my wedding.

260
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,207
You know what's stupid?

261
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,210
There's a part of me
that actually thought

262
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:37,254
I might have a wedding
with Ann Kim someday.

263
00:08:37,298 --> 00:08:38,995
I don't think that's
stupid at all, Dad.

264
00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:40,562
I think that's beautiful.

265
00:08:40,606 --> 00:08:42,696
You know, you opened up
your heart to Ann Kim

266
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,219
and that's brave.

267
00:08:44,261 --> 00:08:46,047
Maybe she was just scared.
You know women.

268
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,134
They're a mystery.

269
00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:48,484
Yeah, sometimes
they just go to Omaha

270
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,702
and you don't know when
they're gonna come back.

271
00:08:49,745 --> 00:08:51,139
Or if they're coming back.

272
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,706
How do you even know
she's in Omaha?

273
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,663
Oh, because, uh,
she said she was.

274
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:58,232
Nothing means anything.

275
00:08:58,275 --> 00:08:59,712
Nothing means anything.

276
00:08:59,755 --> 00:09:02,585
Nothing... means anything.At least you're young, Nick.

277
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:03,629
You got a rocking bod

278
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,196
with kickass buns.

279
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,589
You're not gonna
have any problems.

280
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,025
Who's gonna want
an old guy like me?

281
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,638
I've got garbage buns.

282
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,726
What? Are you out of your mind?
Dad, you've got fantastic buns.

283
00:09:13,769 --> 00:09:15,642
You think?I'm telling you, you've
got nothing to worry about.

284
00:09:15,684 --> 00:09:17,033
Nick, stand up, put your buns

285
00:09:17,077 --> 00:09:19,384
next to each other, so-- here.What is happening here?

286
00:09:19,427 --> 00:09:20,602
I'm not doing anybody
any favors today.

287
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,822
I'm a bummer.

288
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,475
Probably the best thing
I could do

289
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,389
would be to head home.See you later, man,
nice to see you again.

290
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:28,958
Dad, stay. Look, you're
gonna land on your feet.

291
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,395
I've see-- I've seen
all kinds of women

292
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,875
throw themselves at you.

293
00:09:32,919 --> 00:09:35,966
Lifeguards and teachers,
lens crafters.

294
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,663
Remember when you had your
tongue in Jess' mouth?

295
00:09:37,706 --> 00:09:40,710
She tasted like licorice--
sweet but with a bite.

296
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,058
Not-- you're not
helping, Nick.

297
00:09:42,102 --> 00:09:43,669
Actually, you know what? Can I
see you in the hallway, please?

298
00:09:43,712 --> 00:09:44,975
Why?

299
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,759
[groans]

300
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,201
Nick, we have got to
go to Ann Kim's house

301
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,028
and convince her to give
my dad a second chance.

302
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,682
It's the only way
he's gonna stay.

303
00:09:56,725 --> 00:09:57,813
She's not gonna come.
She's a snake.

304
00:09:57,857 --> 00:09:59,206
All women are snakes.

305
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,774
I understand that you're
spinning out about Reagan.

306
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,905
I'm spinning out about Reagan.

307
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,647
I get it, but you
have to help me

308
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,475
save my Thanksgiving
with my dad.

309
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:07,998
You're right. I'm so sorry.

310
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,303
We can pull this off.

311
00:10:09,346 --> 00:10:11,131
If we get her to
take him back...

312
00:10:11,174 --> 00:10:12,828
Then we'd be heroes.That's right.

313
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,482
[both laughing]

314
00:10:14,525 --> 00:10:16,832
Look at that, Mom,
I'm gonna be a hero.

315
00:10:16,876 --> 00:10:19,443
Why are you looking up?
Your mother is still alive.

316
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:20,489
I'm looking at Chicago.

317
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:21,794
You think Chicago is up?

318
00:10:21,837 --> 00:10:23,666
It's north.

319
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,885
Robby, you're a great guy,

320
00:10:25,928 --> 00:10:28,932
but nothing is ever
gonna happen between us.

321
00:10:28,975 --> 00:10:30,716
However,
someday you're gonna open

322
00:10:30,759 --> 00:10:32,806
a really wonderful
bed and breakfast.

323
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:33,720
That was pretty good.I mean, right?

324
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:34,937
Can you imagine the wine

325
00:10:34,981 --> 00:10:36,548
and cheese hour he would put on?

326
00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:37,724
Stuff the toga with hot coals.

327
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,028
We're going out.What? Wait.

328
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,163
Have a place setting at
the table for Ann Kim,

329
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,338
but don't seat her
next to my dad.

330
00:10:44,381 --> 00:10:46,080
I want all the
couples split up.

331
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,908
Everybody gets to talk
that way, but, uh...

332
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:49,474
And then put me
next to Nick.
Yeah.

333
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:50,692
And then my dad
next to me as well.

334
00:10:50,736 --> 00:10:52,913
So I'm sandwiched
between Nick and my dad.

335
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,610
You guys can't leave.
We need you here.

336
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:55,828
Well, I need
a happy daddy.

337
00:10:55,871 --> 00:10:57,177
He needs a happy daddy.

338
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,831
If they never come back,
the last words I'll have heard

339
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,922
my husband say are
"happy daddy."

340
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,750
Okay, good luck.

341
00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:09,711
Oh, smells great.

342
00:11:09,755 --> 00:11:11,845
That's just my famous gravy.
[chuckles]

343
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:14,586
The trick is, um,
a pinch of brown sugar

344
00:11:14,629 --> 00:11:16,937
and then a couple more
handfuls of brown sugar.

345
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,938
Actually, uh, just a
lot of brown sugar.

346
00:11:18,981 --> 00:11:21,942
Ann Kim loves gravy.

347
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:23,769
Big dogs, small horses,

348
00:11:23,812 --> 00:11:26,642
the smell of rain,
and gasoline.

349
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,860
[sobbing]

350
00:11:27,903 --> 00:11:30,427
Oh, Gavin.

351
00:11:30,471 --> 00:11:32,778
You're a handsome

352
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,084
and passionate

353
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,869
and charismatic man.

354
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,913
You and me.

355
00:11:37,957 --> 00:11:39,741
We really had something.

356
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,525
What do you say we
give it another shot?

357
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:44,878
Let's just drive
and drive and drive.

358
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,793
I know what I'm not
thankful for this year.

359
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,751
This. This is it.

360
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,754
Robby, this is not
what it looks...Don't say anything.

361
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,015
I-I don't even know
where to begin,

362
00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:54,235
so I'll just start by saying

363
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,453
that is smells
delicious in here.

364
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:57,803
I'm gonna leave.

365
00:11:57,846 --> 00:11:59,630
[groans]

366
00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:01,677
Just...

367
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:04,941
Hold on a second.

368
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:10,860
[clattering][groans]

369
00:12:12,948 --> 00:12:14,602
Hey, Ann Kim!

370
00:12:14,645 --> 00:12:17,562
Show your face, you
cold-hearted zombie!

371
00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:18,562
Who's down there?

372
00:12:18,606 --> 00:12:19,869
It's Gavin's son.

373
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:20,783
I don't know
if you remember this.

374
00:12:20,826 --> 00:12:22,044
We went on a double date once.

375
00:12:22,088 --> 00:12:24,655
My wife got terribly ill
from some truffle oil.

376
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,397
Rich foods don't
agree with her.

377
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:27,702
Did Gavin send you?No, no, no.

378
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:28,835
He doesn't even know
that I'm here.

379
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:31,837
Look, Ann Kim,
he's heartbroken.

380
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,796
You opened up something
inside of him,

381
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,928
and you turned him
into the man

382
00:12:35,971 --> 00:12:38,018
that I always knew
that he could be.

383
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,975
And darn it,
I'm just a kid

384
00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:43,587
[sighs] hoping for
a Thanksgiving miracle.

385
00:12:43,631 --> 00:12:45,154
Why don't you give him
a second chance

386
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,808
and come back with us,

387
00:12:46,852 --> 00:12:49,725
and let's all give
thanks together.

388
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:50,812
[quiet laugh]

389
00:12:50,856 --> 00:12:52,379
Great speech.

390
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,860
Yeah, it really was
a great speech, man.Thanks.

391
00:12:54,903 --> 00:12:57,471
Did you do it with the five
other women he's dating?

392
00:12:57,514 --> 00:12:59,081
What?

393
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:00,431
That's why he always
refers to me

394
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:02,302
by my first and last name.

395
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:03,913
Because he's dating two Anns!

396
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,394
This is worse than
my Reagan thing.

397
00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:09,178
I can't believe
that I spent all day

398
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:12,399
feeling sorry
for that son of a bitch.

399
00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:14,227
I guess I'm the son of a bitch.

400
00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:16,011
Leave or I'm hitting
the sprinklers.

401
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:19,101
Ann Kim, please, give me
a minute to process this.

402
00:13:19,145 --> 00:13:21,104
Sprinklers!That was not a minute!

403
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,713
Sprinklers!That was not a minute!

404
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,063
No!

405
00:13:24,106 --> 00:13:25,239
[knocking]

406
00:13:26,587 --> 00:13:28,024
Hello, Jessica.

407
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:31,548
If you're here to hurt Robby,
then you're here to hurt me.

408
00:13:31,592 --> 00:13:32,899
And if you hurt me,

409
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,856
then I'm gonna hurt Robby.

410
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,032
Wait a minute. No.
If you're here...

411
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:38,687
If you don't get
out of your room,

412
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,644
I'm gonna bleach all
your bird shirts.

413
00:13:40,688 --> 00:13:42,778
Robby, I got to go.

414
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,213
That's a wise choice.

415
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,955
[sighs]

416
00:13:47,303 --> 00:13:50,654
Robby, I need you to know
that there is...

417
00:13:50,698 --> 00:13:54,136
nothing going on
between me and Gavin,

418
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:57,270
except for an icy awkwardness
that will continue

419
00:13:57,313 --> 00:13:59,533
until one or both
of us is dead.

420
00:13:59,576 --> 00:14:02,101
Oh, thank God.
[laughs]

421
00:14:02,144 --> 00:14:04,886
I mean, I was sitting
here thinking, really?

422
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,235
Schmidt's dad.

423
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,238
I know. That'd be crazy, right?Although I totally get it.

424
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,674
I mean... [exhales]
he's got that rakish charm.

425
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,677
And that voice. Oh, my God.

426
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,897
Great buns and...Robby, stop. There's more.

427
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:18,118
Oh, boy.

428
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,509
I think I know
where this is going.

429
00:14:20,423 --> 00:14:21,817
Let me guess.

430
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:24,907
You see me as more of a friend.

431
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,605
Well, I didn't want to talk
about it on Thanksgiving.

432
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:30,607
But you brought the tickets
and...

433
00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:32,174
Jess, it's okay.
I get it, you know?

434
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:33,828
There has to be that, um...

435
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:34,917
Oomph?

436
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,352
Yeah. I was gonna say "yowza,"

437
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:40,313
but, uh, oomph. You can't
force the oomph, you know?

438
00:14:40,356 --> 00:14:43,403
I'll take my mom to Phoenix.
She's nuts about Phoenix.

439
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,192
SCHMIDT:
Well, congrats, Dad!

440
00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:52,065
Holiday's over!
You ruined another Thanksgiving!

441
00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:54,067
I can't believe
that you're seeing six women.

442
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:55,284
What's going on?

443
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,634
How do you run a vineyard?

444
00:14:56,677 --> 00:14:58,418
Not well. I'm seeing six women.

445
00:14:58,461 --> 00:14:59,419
He tried to make it seven.

446
00:14:59,462 --> 00:15:00,986
I caught him making
a move on Jess.

447
00:15:01,029 --> 00:15:03,990
Again?
Why is my father so sexual?

448
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,166
Why is he asking
Chicago?Good question.

449
00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:07,080
You know what, Gavin,
if this is who you really are,

450
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,951
then you can forget
about Thanksgiving

451
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,648
and all the holidays
and all the non-holidays.

452
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,868
Pretty much what I'm talking
about is every day.

453
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,173
Hey, hey, hey, guys,

454
00:15:14,216 --> 00:15:15,740
let's remember the
reason for the season.

455
00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:16,524
We're all
very thankful.

456
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:17,133
GAVIN:
Jess,

457
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,221
I am so sorry.

458
00:15:18,264 --> 00:15:19,875
I had no idea you
two were together.

459
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:21,355
I thought you were his
physical therapist.

460
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:23,096
Physical therapist?

461
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,966
Aren't you a physical
therapist or something?

462
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:28,578
You think she's a... Jess is
a top-notch vice principal.

463
00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:30,972
[grunts]

464
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,105
JESS:
Oh, Robby...

465
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,107
Robby, no.
Don't stand.

466
00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:37,023
Your-your knee.I don't give

467
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,807
a flying care about that.

468
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,895
I stand up
when I stand up for people.

469
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,158
I think you're
getting roid rage.

470
00:15:42,201 --> 00:15:43,332
I didn't take any steroids
today,

471
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,205
because the TSA took 'em
this morning.

472
00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:48,773
Now, what you're seeing
is pure, unfiltered Robby,

473
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,123
straight from the tap.

474
00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:53,212
Get him, Robby.You-you tried to make Jess

475
00:15:53,255 --> 00:15:54,388
the seventh woman you're dating,

476
00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:56,129
and you don't even know
the first thing about her.

477
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,000
I mean, did-did you know
that when she was six

478
00:15:58,043 --> 00:15:59,131
she tried to eat a lightning bug

479
00:15:59,174 --> 00:16:01,134
so that her heart would glow
like E.T.?

480
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,352
Did you know that she tried
to give herself

481
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:06,399
Lyme disease out of solidarity
to her fourth grade classmate?

482
00:16:06,442 --> 00:16:10,403
Or-or that she never lets any
of her electronics go below 25%,

483
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:13,711
just in case someone else
needs to use them? I mean,

484
00:16:13,754 --> 00:16:14,581
did you know...

485
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,062
did you know
that she's terrified

486
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,368
of the large bubbles
in the bubble wrap,

487
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,240
but she loves the
little tiny ones?

488
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,241
It's so cute, man.

489
00:16:22,284 --> 00:16:23,851
It would be one thing
if you actually

490
00:16:23,894 --> 00:16:26,288
had feelings for Jess... I'm...Oh!

491
00:16:26,332 --> 00:16:27,159
I'm...
Whoa.
Whoa,

492
00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:28,161
whoa, whoa.Oh.

493
00:16:28,203 --> 00:16:30,293
Thank you. But you don't.

494
00:16:30,336 --> 00:16:31,293
Y-You're
just desperate

495
00:16:31,337 --> 00:16:32,730
and lonely and you're trying

496
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,254
to use her, and I...

497
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:35,384
Oh, it's happening again.Oh.

498
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,211
Whoa, whoa, whoa!Whoa, Robby!

499
00:16:36,255 --> 00:16:37,386
Oh, oh.

500
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,126
Thank you.

501
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,259
You can't use Jess,

502
00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:42,000
because she is a dream girl.

503
00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:45,830
Here's the last thing I'll say

504
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,267
before I leave.

505
00:16:47,309 --> 00:16:50,052
Jess, I know
it's not me, but...

506
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,400
[sighs]

507
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,230
...you deserve somebody
who knows how special you are.

508
00:16:57,102 --> 00:16:59,061
Um, I'm going. I'm going.

509
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,192
Don't go, Robby.

510
00:17:00,235 --> 00:17:01,629
I'm not going out.
I'm-I'm going down!

511
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,673
[gasping, shouting]

512
00:17:03,717 --> 00:17:05,849
Robby, no!Turkey! Turkey's down!

513
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:06,894
Robby! Robby!Turkey's down!

514
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:09,419
SCHMIDT: Oh, God!Relax!
[grunting]

515
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,073
CECE: Just... Okay.It still looks good!
The turkey

516
00:17:11,116 --> 00:17:12,640
still looks good.
[screaming][sizzling]

517
00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:15,208
Wait, what are you...It is hot! My skin!

518
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:16,861
It's burning my skin!The hell you doing?!

519
00:17:16,904 --> 00:17:18,211
It was hot! It was hot!

520
00:17:18,253 --> 00:17:19,777
Now I got to eat a dirty turkey!What's wrong with you?

521
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:21,344
GAVIN:
This is all my fault.

522
00:17:21,387 --> 00:17:22,301
You know I throw hot things!I'm so sorry.

523
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,128
It was fine!Turkey's

524
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,217
expensive!Any more?

525
00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:25,347
This isn't on me!Furguson

526
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:26,480
don't eat turkey
from the ground!

527
00:17:26,522 --> 00:17:28,134
NICK: Oh, no. I'm not taking
the fall for this one.

528
00:17:28,176 --> 00:17:30,092
It's all on you!I'm not taking the...

529
00:17:30,135 --> 00:17:32,834
Hey! Can we not yell
at each other on Thanksgiving?!

530
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:36,794
I recognize
that I, too, am yelling.

531
00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:38,709
And I'm-I'm sorry, Robby.

532
00:17:38,752 --> 00:17:40,276
Wait.

533
00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:42,931
[elevator doors shut][sighs]

534
00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,628
Great, he's gone.

535
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,328
[sighs]
I was just starting to feel it.

536
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:50,329
Go.Yeah,

537
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:50,894
Jess, go.

538
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,244
Go.Go!

539
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:53,723
Go after him.Save us some floor turkey.

540
00:18:00,426 --> 00:18:02,906
Hey. Look,

541
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:05,387
I know you had high hopes
for Thanksgiving with your dad.

542
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,737
You called it.

543
00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:08,260
The guy is who he is.

544
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,219
You know, maybe you
just need to drop this idea

545
00:18:10,262 --> 00:18:11,960
that he'll ever be
the bigger man.

546
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,788
I think that needs
to be you, babe.

547
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,311
You're the bigger man.

548
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,491
Son, I know
you're probably tired

549
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,058
of hearing both these statements

550
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,192
and not likely to believe
either, but...

551
00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:28,890
I'm leaving and I'm sorry.

552
00:18:33,241 --> 00:18:35,853
Dad, I said, I said
a lot of things earlier.

553
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:41,684
I don't want you out of my life.

554
00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:45,558
I was waiting for you to be
someone who you're not,

555
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,951
but...

556
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,432
I know who you are
and I still love you.

557
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:53,740
But you-you need to listen
to me,

558
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:56,308
son to father,
get a therapist.

559
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,441
Oh, I have a therapist.A better one.

560
00:18:58,484 --> 00:19:00,574
Okay.And I shouldn't have

561
00:19:00,616 --> 00:19:02,792
to say this but one
that you're not sleeping with.

562
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:08,103
Okay.

563
00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:11,324
Wait! Robby!
Robby, don't go.

564
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:14,195
I tried to Irish good-bye, but,
uh, I'm moving a little slow.

565
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,329
When you were in there and you
were saying all those things,

566
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,332
I realize I don't
even really know you.

567
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,334
And I want to get to know you.

568
00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:23,465
Jess, it's okay. I-I don't want
you to force something

569
00:19:23,509 --> 00:19:24,467
that's not there.

570
00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:26,338
I felt it.

571
00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:30,559
You felt the oomph?

572
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,345
Yes. I...
[sighs]

573
00:19:32,387 --> 00:19:33,563
I'm sorry
I'm being

574
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:34,781
so confusing.

575
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:36,566
I-I think
I'm as bad at Thanksgiving

576
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,786
as I am at starting
new relationships.

577
00:19:38,828 --> 00:19:39,700
Yeah, you're pretty bad.

578
00:19:39,742 --> 00:19:40,701
Robby,

579
00:19:40,743 --> 00:19:44,487
will you go
on another date with me?

580
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:49,144
♪ Come on, baby,
make it hurt so good. ♪

581
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,364
[chuckles]

582
00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:53,365
Hell yeah, I'll go
on another date with you.

583
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,192
Hmm.

584
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:58,153
I did already tell my mom
about Phoenix though.

585
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,286
I hope that's okay.Oh, of course.

586
00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:04,333
I apologize in advance for
the state of our main course.

587
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:08,858
♪

588
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:11,384
Dad, would you like
to do the honors?

589
00:20:11,426 --> 00:20:13,820
I think the man of the house
traditionally does that.

590
00:20:13,864 --> 00:20:15,083
♪ I am a house

591
00:20:15,125 --> 00:20:15,823
Aw.

592
00:20:15,865 --> 00:20:17,738
♪ Out of twigs and stones

593
00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:19,305
I'm the m... I'm
the man of the house.

594
00:20:19,347 --> 00:20:20,871
Would you look
at that?

595
00:20:20,914 --> 00:20:22,481
[phone buzzes, chimes]Oh, it's Reagan.

596
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,527
Oh, whoa. You know, I've
always wanted to do this.

597
00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:26,398
Uh, read out loud.

598
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,836
FEMALE VOICE:
In Omaha. Heart emoji.

599
00:20:28,878 --> 00:20:30,881
Smiling pile of poo emoji.

600
00:20:30,924 --> 00:20:34,624
I want my tongue emoji
on your monkey emoji.

601
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,625
Eh, come on, that's a little
private. S-Sorry about that.

602
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:38,061
She wants to tongue your monkey?

603
00:20:38,105 --> 00:20:39,193
What's your monkey?

604
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,326
Smiling pile of poo?

605
00:20:40,368 --> 00:20:41,326
JESS:
Oh, my God,

606
00:20:41,369 --> 00:20:43,328
Schmidt and Cece
will be in a new home

607
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:44,765
next year.Next year
it's at our place.

608
00:20:44,807 --> 00:20:47,333
Happy last loft Thanksgiving,
everyone.

609
00:20:48,898 --> 00:20:50,074
♪ Give and give

610
00:20:50,117 --> 00:20:51,510
They weren't always perfect,

611
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:53,208
but they were memorable.

612
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,775
Cheers.
Cheers.Cheers.

613
00:20:54,817 --> 00:20:55,515
Hey. [whoops]Hey.

614
00:20:55,557 --> 00:20:56,342
CECE: Mmm. Remember

615
00:20:56,384 --> 00:20:57,646
when you fell
down that hole?

616
00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:58,647
Oh, and Schmidt
cooked the meal

617
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,084
in our dead
neighbor's kitchen.

618
00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:01,303
[laughing]:
Ms. Beverly.

619
00:21:01,346 --> 00:21:02,217
Mmm!

620
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,653
Remember when we had sex
with strangers?

621
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:04,785
JESS: That's a
misrepresentation

622
00:21:04,827 --> 00:21:06,439
of what happened.

623
00:21:06,481 --> 00:21:08,441
Remember when your parents
made it in the bathroom?

624
00:21:08,483 --> 00:21:11,443
Or last Thanksgiving, when
we all accidentally took peyote

625
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,532
and, Winston, you wouldn't
let us break the wishbone.

626
00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:15,925
Break the bone, lose the wish.That's not true!

627
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:18,319
That's not how it works.That is not how it works.

628
00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:19,320
NICK: Here's to Thanksgiving,
everybody.

629
00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:21,192
[cheering]

630
00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:24,239
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH