1 00:00:01,349 --> 00:00:03,873 I am so excited about this glamping trip. 2 00:00:03,915 --> 00:00:06,615 Sleeping bags are for hobos and children. 3 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,269 WINSTON: I am so pumped for this trip. 4 00:00:08,311 --> 00:00:11,185 Aly and I figured out how many times we would have had sex 5 00:00:11,227 --> 00:00:14,057 since we've been apart, and it's a whole bunch. 6 00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:16,407 And we gonna play catch-up on all of it. 7 00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:18,105 All 52 times. 8 00:00:18,147 --> 00:00:21,237 I am about to take Aly to Mount Smushmore. 9 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,936 Know what I'm saying? [laughs] 10 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:27,114 Aw. That's lovely. 11 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,071 We need to invite other people. 12 00:00:29,115 --> 00:00:30,551 What about Nick?No, he can't. 13 00:00:30,594 --> 00:00:32,118 He has some big writing weekend. 14 00:00:32,161 --> 00:00:33,945 Wants me to give him notes on his novel. 15 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,774 He has all the pages in some large freezer bag. 16 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:39,168 It's a hard presentation to get excited about. 17 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,735 You know who would really want to come? 18 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:41,866 [groans] 19 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,781 I am in! 20 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:46,002 Do you want me to bring my retractable s'mores pole? 21 00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:47,524 Is that the car antenna that you've been putting 22 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:48,960 in the dishwasher? 23 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,658 That is a low-level mystery 24 00:00:50,701 --> 00:00:53,009 that has been driving me insane.Making him crazy. 25 00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,576 It's really handy.All right, Jess. 26 00:00:54,618 --> 00:00:56,273 So just a quick warning, okay? 27 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:58,796 This is a pretty couple-y's trip, and... 28 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:01,539 you know, we just don't want you to feel like a third wheel.Yeah. 29 00:01:01,582 --> 00:01:02,887 Oh. I have people I can bring. 30 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:03,889 You... 31 00:01:03,932 --> 00:01:05,021 I joined a singles group. 32 00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:06,153 You're meeting new people. 33 00:01:06,195 --> 00:01:07,153 I think that's great.[quietly]: Oh, my. 34 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:08,371 It's actually... 35 00:01:08,415 --> 00:01:11,114 a group of all singles dedicated 36 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,593 to keeping each other single. 37 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:15,162 Wow.I think they could probably come on the trip. 38 00:01:15,204 --> 00:01:17,120 Emotionally, they may not be available, 39 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,948 but socially, they're available as hell. 40 00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:21,168 [quietly]: Just talk to her really quickly. 41 00:01:21,210 --> 00:01:22,560 You know what?Oh, you're already texting people. 42 00:01:22,603 --> 00:01:23,778 They're probably not... 43 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:24,996 They're in!Oh! 44 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,129 All of them! [laughing] 45 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,305 Honestly, they would have gone to the DMV with you, 46 00:01:29,349 --> 00:01:30,786 if you had asked. 47 00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:33,484 [laughing] 48 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,224 ♪ 49 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:42,057 [inhales][yells] 50 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,234 How long have you been standing there? 51 00:01:44,277 --> 00:01:45,365 [whines] 52 00:01:45,408 --> 00:01:47,367 What happened to you? 53 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,978 The Pepperwood Chronicles, that's what happened to me. 54 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:52,546 So it's really that bad.Nick. 55 00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:54,504 This book... 56 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,332 is magnificent. 57 00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,421 What? 58 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,206 Julius Pepperwood? 59 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:04,385 A hard-boiled Chicago cop turned New Orleans detective, 60 00:02:04,427 --> 00:02:05,820 racing around on fan-boats, 61 00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:09,606 drowning that two-faced DA in a bucket of jambalaya. 62 00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:10,347 Yeah. Right in the jambalaya. 63 00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:13,784 Finding John F. Kennedy... 64 00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:15,177 alive? 65 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,396 That wasn't too far? 66 00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:18,224 It's a masterpiece, Nick. 67 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,443 Is that my whiteboard? 68 00:02:20,487 --> 00:02:22,228 You said I could have it.Well, we both know that's not true, 69 00:02:22,271 --> 00:02:23,795 but if it helps you get more of this story out, 70 00:02:23,838 --> 00:02:25,579 then, yes, you are welcome to it. 71 00:02:25,622 --> 00:02:28,582 Well, all right, Schmidt, hit me; I want your notes. 72 00:02:30,366 --> 00:02:31,673 No notes! 73 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,631 No notes?No notes. 74 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:35,329 No notes?!No notes. 75 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:36,764 No notes!No notes. 76 00:02:36,807 --> 00:02:37,765 No notes! 77 00:02:37,808 --> 00:02:39,420 No notes. It's perfect, Nick. 78 00:02:39,462 --> 00:02:41,335 I want another chapter by the time I get back on Sunday. 79 00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:43,640 Then I guess it's time for me to get to work. 80 00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,774 My little wobbly-nosed Michael Chabon. 81 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:46,991 [both laugh] 82 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,558 Hey, congratulations.Thank you, man. 83 00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,257 I, uh... Thank you. I needed it. 84 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,783 I'm a writer. 85 00:02:55,826 --> 00:02:57,350 [shrieks] 'Sup? 86 00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,222 [both laughing] 87 00:02:59,265 --> 00:03:01,311 [smooching]ALY: I love you. I miss you. I love you. I miss you. 88 00:03:01,354 --> 00:03:02,443 You clearly didn't get my text, 89 00:03:02,485 --> 00:03:04,401 because your pants are still on. 90 00:03:04,444 --> 00:03:05,445 [grunts] 91 00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:06,707 [whooping]So excited about this. 92 00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,275 Hey, Aly! Oh! 93 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,233 Your bra's already off. Okay. 94 00:03:10,276 --> 00:03:11,451 We're out the door. 95 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,062 None of this in my car, please. 96 00:03:13,104 --> 00:03:14,324 I just had it shampooed. 97 00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:15,282 Jess. 98 00:03:15,324 --> 00:03:17,457 I called ahead and got us an early yurt check-in. 99 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,024 Oh.Beep-beep. 100 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,373 People about to have sex coming through. 101 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,723 WINSTON: Look out.Aren't you coming? 102 00:03:21,765 --> 00:03:24,594 Actually, I'm gonna go with my group. 103 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,944 We rented a van. It has a built-in microwave. 104 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,598 We're all really stoked about it. 105 00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:29,905 You're not making me feel any better 106 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,298 about this group of strangers. 107 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:33,125 Well, it's not all strangers. 108 00:03:33,168 --> 00:03:34,518 Some of them are friends! [laughing] 109 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,737 Robby? My Robby?Yeah. I got here 110 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,522 way too early, so I've just been standing outside, 111 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,437 kind of waiting for my opportunity to enter. 112 00:03:41,481 --> 00:03:42,526 How'd I do? 113 00:03:42,569 --> 00:03:43,745 Robby, are you in this group? 114 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,442 [snorts][laughing]: Is he in the group? 115 00:03:45,485 --> 00:03:47,444 Robby is the founder, president, 116 00:03:47,487 --> 00:03:48,663 and secretary of the group. 117 00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,317 I formed the group after Nadia dumped me. 118 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,622 I always use two sugars. 119 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:55,060 My mom says 'cause I'm so sweet, you know. 120 00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:56,365 Oh, whoa! 121 00:03:56,409 --> 00:03:57,280 I didn't want to be alone, 122 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,151 but I also didn't want to be in a relationship. 123 00:03:59,194 --> 00:04:01,328 And that's when he got the idea to bring people together 124 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,068 to help each other stay single. 125 00:04:03,111 --> 00:04:04,287 Yeah, we meet weekly 126 00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:06,070 for non-romantic companionship. 127 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,508 But most of all, we just have fun.Yeah. 128 00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:09,987 Like last week, we shut down this Korean barbecue. 129 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,512 We paid with 13 different credit cards, 130 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,514 and we were asked to never come back again. 131 00:04:13,556 --> 00:04:15,342 It was epic! 132 00:04:15,384 --> 00:04:16,430 That sounds awesome.Oh, man. 133 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,735 It's a really cool group, and we have our own motto. 134 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,303 BOTH: I'm single and I'm sufficient. 135 00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:27,483 That's I-S-I-S. That's ISIS.Th-That's ISIS. 136 00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:29,920 Oh, my God.You're asking people to join ISIS. 137 00:04:29,964 --> 00:04:31,574 No, n-n-n-n-n-n-no.As communication czar I should have caught that. 138 00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:32,706 Yeah. 139 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,098 Isn't this group 140 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:37,189 just a painfully transparent stall until you meet someone? 141 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,408 Being single is a choice.Yeah. 142 00:04:38,451 --> 00:04:39,713 Don't single-shame.What is single-shame? 143 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,324 No, honey. He was not single-shaming you.I-I wasn't... 144 00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:43,108 That was not his intention at all.I don't even know what that is. 145 00:04:43,151 --> 00:04:45,372 Couples always try to talk down to singles. 146 00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:48,026 We can do everything that you guys can do. 147 00:04:48,069 --> 00:04:50,158 I take myself out for a dessert date every Sunday. 148 00:04:50,201 --> 00:04:51,377 Yeah, and yesterday, I had a backache, 149 00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:53,596 and I rubbed it myself, in a doorjamb. 150 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:54,816 This is bummin' me out. 151 00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:57,340 Is this group gonna be a bummer? Be honest. 152 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,601 Absolutely not. 153 00:04:58,646 --> 00:04:59,473 There's Brenda. 154 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,778 She's a circuit court judge 155 00:05:01,822 --> 00:05:04,564 who also teaches taxidermy class for kids. 156 00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:07,567 And Hugh. He grows his own onions. 157 00:05:07,610 --> 00:05:09,396 My former boss and current friend, 158 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:10,526 Principal Foster. 159 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:13,399 His hip surgeon has okayed him for sex, 160 00:05:13,442 --> 00:05:14,574 but he hasn't okayed himself. 161 00:05:14,617 --> 00:05:17,360 And of course, Robby, our leader. 162 00:05:17,403 --> 00:05:19,449 Have you ever seen a group more ready 163 00:05:19,492 --> 00:05:21,451 to have fun with themselves? 164 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:22,930 [cheering] 165 00:05:22,973 --> 00:05:26,978 [horse hooves clopping] 166 00:05:30,459 --> 00:05:33,723 Just look at this view; we needed this so badly. 167 00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:37,511 It's-it's perfect. 168 00:05:37,553 --> 00:05:38,598 Is it, though? 169 00:05:38,641 --> 00:05:40,730 [camera shutters clicking] 170 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,384 Can you stop hogging the vista? 171 00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:44,300 There are other people who would like to take a photo. 172 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,387 I don't want to lose this light. 173 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,606 It's a traditional high-noon. 174 00:05:46,649 --> 00:05:48,521 Don't couple-splain light to us. 175 00:05:48,564 --> 00:05:50,480 It just seems like it would be easier 176 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:51,959 if you guys took a group photo. 177 00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:53,526 We actually need a picture for our Web site,Oh, yeah. 178 00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:55,745 so, all right, you can take a group photo. 179 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,095 All right, let's do this. 180 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,749 Now, I'm only taking one shot, 181 00:05:58,793 --> 00:05:59,533 so if the first one's 182 00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:00,533 a silly one, you're gonna have 183 00:06:00,576 --> 00:06:02,187 to live with a silly one. 184 00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:03,841 Okay. One, 185 00:06:03,884 --> 00:06:05,625 two, three. There we go.Great photo. 186 00:06:05,668 --> 00:06:06,627 I'm gonna need one, too. 187 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:07,627 Actually, we're all gonna need one. 188 00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:08,541 What?Yeah, we don't share phones 189 00:06:08,584 --> 00:06:10,064 like you people. 190 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,413 Who shares phones? 191 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,502 How would we call each other?I don't know. 192 00:06:14,677 --> 00:06:17,550 I can't do this. This is... Take these back. 193 00:06:17,593 --> 00:06:19,290 You guys are ruining 194 00:06:19,334 --> 00:06:20,596 a perfectly good vista moment. 195 00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:24,339 Can't you go someplace else and "enjoy being single"? 196 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,908 [gasps] Did you just quote-hands 197 00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:29,692 "enjoy being single" to us? 198 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:33,480 You guys are telling each other that you're happy being this, 199 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:36,918 when we all know that you would rather be this. 200 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,310 No. This is jazz hands, 201 00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,792 the end of an explosive musical number. 202 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:45,447 This is O.J. trying to put on the bloody glove. 203 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,667 This is freedom! 204 00:06:46,709 --> 00:06:48,363 This is flying! 205 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,540 This is praying that you can go back to this! 206 00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:52,454 This is high fives for everybody! 207 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:55,023 All around! Yes![chuckling] 208 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:58,548 Let's go to the lake, guys. Bye. Yeah! 209 00:06:58,591 --> 00:06:59,461 FOSTER: I call dibs 210 00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:02,682 on the slime-free part.Okay. 211 00:07:02,725 --> 00:07:04,119 Just enjoy the view. I mean... 212 00:07:04,161 --> 00:07:06,947 This is O.J. putting back on the glove. 213 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,560 No notes. 214 00:07:15,521 --> 00:07:17,697 Okay, just... 215 00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:20,483 just start and see what... Just start. No notes. 216 00:07:20,526 --> 00:07:23,137 All me. 217 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:27,707 No notes. What does "no notes" even mean?! 218 00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:28,665 No notes. 219 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,144 No notes? 220 00:07:30,187 --> 00:07:32,581 Come on. 221 00:07:34,235 --> 00:07:36,411 [chuckles] 222 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,197 Nick, I'm communing with nature, and I'm almost at peace. 223 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,197 What do you want? 224 00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:41,112 No notes? 225 00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:43,113 Seriously?It is just so nice 226 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,899 to get out of the city and watch TV. 227 00:07:45,942 --> 00:07:48,336 What about this dumb thing? When Pepperwood just watches 228 00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:50,557 a block of local news.Oh, I found that part 229 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,906 to be gutting, Nick. I mean, the irony 230 00:07:52,949 --> 00:07:55,562 that Pepperwood's violent world is being translated 231 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,911 into sound bites for mass consumption... 232 00:07:57,954 --> 00:08:00,130 That's just me transcribing Channel 3 News! 233 00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,089 I didn't even change the anchors' names! 234 00:08:02,132 --> 00:08:03,656 It's called realism, Nick.No. 235 00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:04,961 Good-bye, genius.No! 236 00:08:05,005 --> 00:08:06,398 [groans] 237 00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:09,096 Ooh, that was... Ooh. 238 00:08:09,139 --> 00:08:10,533 WINSTON: Oh, my gosh. 239 00:08:10,576 --> 00:08:11,968 13 times. 240 00:08:12,012 --> 00:08:14,406 Yeah. It's a lot of times.Yeah. 241 00:08:14,449 --> 00:08:16,538 A lot of times. [chuckles]I had a good time. 242 00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:17,887 I had a great time.I could've gone 243 00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,759 so many more times than that. 244 00:08:19,802 --> 00:08:20,673 Yeah, that's actually nothing. 245 00:08:20,716 --> 00:08:21,891 [both chuckle] 246 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,545 I could go all night, girl.I could go 247 00:08:23,589 --> 00:08:26,548 tens of... so many more times.Tens of... Ten... Yeah. 248 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:29,812 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.[sighs] Cool, cool, cool, cool. 249 00:08:29,856 --> 00:08:31,336 That's what's up. That's what's up.[phone ringing] 250 00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:33,730 That's what's up.Oh, it's the phone. 251 00:08:36,384 --> 00:08:38,605 [breathy]: Hella?Winston, are you... 252 00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,040 Hey, Winnie, are you okay? 253 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,476 You sound like you're being chased up a hill. 254 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,826 Oh, no. Aly and I are just breaking each other off 255 00:08:43,870 --> 00:08:46,003 basically nonstop. It's Nick. 256 00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,831 I told him we were breaking each other off basically nonstop.I know. I can hear you, honey. 257 00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:51,442 Oh, you heard everything? Okay.Yeah. What does he want? 258 00:08:51,486 --> 00:08:52,575 I'm in crisis right now. Could you read my book 259 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:53,576 and give me notes, please? 260 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,230 Oh, man. I don't want to take a break. 261 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,667 Mmm. Mm-mm. 262 00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,234 I'm like a freight train right now. 263 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:00,714 I can't slow down. 264 00:09:00,756 --> 00:09:01,496 Me either. 265 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,453 This is crisis! 266 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,020 But...Guys, 267 00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:06,023 supporting our friend's artistic endeavorsguys... 268 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:08,243 is also insanely...Hey, guys. Guys, pay attention. 269 00:09:08,285 --> 00:09:09,635 It's sexy.This is crisis. 270 00:09:09,678 --> 00:09:11,812 But I was thinking the same thing. Oh, thank God. Hello? 271 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,727 Winston! Winston,We could easily just both read the book 272 00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:17,381 you're supposed to be my friend.at the same time, and then when we're done, 273 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,254 just get right back at it,Yes. 274 00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,515 right? Yes, yes, yes, yes.Great. 275 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:21,822 Now, do y... do you guys want a PDF 276 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,866 or do you want 100 individual JPEGs? 277 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:27,697 JPEGs, JPEGs, J... JPEGs. Uh, 100 individual JPEGs, please. 278 00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:30,744 Yeah! This is gonna take forever. 279 00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:33,311 [laughing] 280 00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:35,749 [groans] 281 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,315 Five-three. 282 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:38,273 [grunts] 283 00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,536 Hey. Oh, I was just... 284 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,538 just playing a little single and sufficient badminton. 285 00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:44,626 Well, I hope you worked up an appetite, 286 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,802 because I'm gonna make my Singles Sliders. 287 00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:48,717 Oh, yeah?Okay, so what I do is I take the meat 288 00:09:48,761 --> 00:09:50,633 from three different sliders, and then I just sort of mash 'em 289 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,634 into one big boy that stands on his own. 290 00:09:52,678 --> 00:09:54,898 Oh. So, like a burger. 291 00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:55,638 Yeah, it's like a burger except it's bigger. 292 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:58,902 Oh. Well, if it isn't Schmidt. 293 00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,294 Or should I call you Schmidt-tata 294 00:10:00,337 --> 00:10:02,035 'cause you have so much egg on your face? 295 00:10:02,078 --> 00:10:04,995 You little Italian egg omelet.[laughs, snorts] Nice. 296 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,258 Jess, what's happening in the lake over there? 297 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,912 Wait, is that a jellyfish?Come over here. 298 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,913 Oh, please, that's so much less sexual 299 00:10:10,957 --> 00:10:13,787 than the stuff that you and Nick do on a regular basis. 300 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,222 [chuckles] Ow. 301 00:10:15,265 --> 00:10:17,094 [sighs]It's happening. 302 00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,312 Okay, Robby... 303 00:10:18,355 --> 00:10:19,662 I'm on it. 304 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,097 [Hugh and Brenda laughing] 305 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,274 Guys, guys, 306 00:10:23,317 --> 00:10:24,798 no, no, no, no, no. What are you doing? 307 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,059 You guys know that you can only be in this group 308 00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:27,495 if you're single, right? 309 00:10:27,538 --> 00:10:28,932 It's tough. 310 00:10:28,975 --> 00:10:30,063 I'm very horny. 311 00:10:30,106 --> 00:10:31,717 I want you guys to be strong. 312 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,937 Let's do the motto. 313 00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,895 I'm singleI'm single 314 00:10:35,938 --> 00:10:37,679 and I'm sufficient.and I'm sufficient. 315 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,115 Didn't sound like you meant it. One more. 316 00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:41,336 BOTH: I'm single and I'm sufficient.Yes. 317 00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:43,860 One last time.I'm single and I'm sufficient! 318 00:10:43,903 --> 00:10:45,861 Yes!FOSTER: Well, I just hope 319 00:10:45,905 --> 00:10:47,864 we don't see a repeat of that kind of behavior 320 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,518 with me later on. 321 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,606 You were amazing out there. Your ability 322 00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:54,087 to dampen sexual chemistry is astounding. 323 00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,355 [chuckles softly] 324 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,186 Uh... [clears throat] Thanks. 325 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,933 FOSTER: Hey, guys! 326 00:11:13,976 --> 00:11:16,631 I just caught a fish with my hand! 327 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:22,725 Wow. Nick's book is astonishing. 328 00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:26,293 I thought it was gonna take forever, but... it was perfect. 329 00:11:26,336 --> 00:11:27,990 He really brings you into the world. 330 00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:30,777 Every minor character is so well thought out. 331 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,735 The newsboy? You could see his whole life. 332 00:11:32,778 --> 00:11:34,955 And am I the only one who thought that the murderer's name 333 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,956 was in the song?The murderer's name was in the song! 334 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:37,870 Ah. So good. 335 00:11:37,913 --> 00:11:38,871 No notes. 336 00:11:38,914 --> 00:11:40,177 Yeah.Yeah. 337 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:43,179 Well... 338 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:45,095 sex? 339 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,530 Yes!Yeah? 340 00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:47,793 Sex.I'm ready if you're ready. 341 00:11:47,836 --> 00:11:50,013 Yeah. Yeah.All right. 342 00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:52,101 Just a short walk to our yurt. 343 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,408 Unless we take the scenic route. 344 00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:57,890 Oh. Nothing gets me in the mood like scenery.Oh. 345 00:11:57,933 --> 00:11:58,804 Mmm?Let's do that. 346 00:11:58,847 --> 00:11:59,893 Yeah, let's go that way. 347 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:00,937 Yeah, let's do that.The scenic way. 348 00:12:04,505 --> 00:12:07,248 Perhaps you could find the perfect bun 349 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,770 if-- I don't know-- you had your glasses. 350 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,600 Oh. Oh, you know... you know who else has glasses? 351 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,863 Six out of ten people in the developed world, 352 00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,647 including Robby and I? 353 00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:18,780 Jess, just give over to it. We're happy for you. 354 00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:21,130 Use your yurt. You have a world-class yurt. 355 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,871 Yeah, and if this is about me and Robby 356 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,874 dating years ago, trust me, 357 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,441 it doesn't matter.Mm-mm. 358 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:27,921 We only did hand stuff, per his neurosis,[groans] 359 00:12:27,963 --> 00:12:29,792 so you totally have my blessing. 360 00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:30,662 Blessing for what? 361 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,054 This. That.Ugh! 362 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:33,970 Guys, I am not into Robby. 363 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,928 And I could never date a guy who wears glasses 364 00:12:35,971 --> 00:12:38,626 because of the clown from my dreams. 365 00:12:38,669 --> 00:12:40,629 The clown who wears glasses. 366 00:12:41,716 --> 00:12:44,633 Oh, my God, that clown is me. 367 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,634 I'm not dating Robby, okay? 368 00:12:46,677 --> 00:12:47,635 Hey. 369 00:12:47,678 --> 00:12:48,942 Oh, Robby.Oh, hey, Robby. 370 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,072 I heard my name a bunch of times. I mean, I could tell 371 00:12:50,116 --> 00:12:51,945 that you weren't trying to call me in here, but, uh, 372 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,076 my curiosity kicked in, so... A couple of us 373 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,036 are gonna wander down and, uh, you know, tell some stories 374 00:12:56,078 --> 00:12:59,212 and, uh...[plays guitar] 375 00:12:59,255 --> 00:13:00,909 ...sing a few songs. 376 00:13:00,953 --> 00:13:03,826 That sounds great. Actually, you know who loves to sing? 377 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,873 Actually, I've really been hating music lately.Come on, Jess, 378 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,875 you're a whore for singin'. Please. 379 00:13:11,528 --> 00:13:14,227 ♪ 380 00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:17,840 ♪ I hear the drums echoing tonight ♪ 381 00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,102 ♪ But she hears only ♪ 382 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:24,106 ♪ Whispers of some quiet conversation ♪ 383 00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:26,761 ♪ 384 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,938 ♪ She's coming in, 12:30 flight ♪ 385 00:13:29,982 --> 00:13:32,549 ♪ The moonlit wings reflect the stars ♪ 386 00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:36,119 ♪ That guide me towards salvation... ♪ 387 00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:38,294 [phone ringing]Damn it! 388 00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:41,081 Nick, if this is about notes, so help me God. 389 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,125 I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna stop bugging you 390 00:13:43,169 --> 00:13:44,301 until you note me, Schmidt. 391 00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:45,868 All right, Nick. Here's a note. 392 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:48,436 Stop cutting yourself off at the knees like a selfish coward. 393 00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:51,091 Okay, great, great. I love the direction we're going. 394 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:53,005 We're getting more critical, but can you refocus to the writing? 395 00:13:53,048 --> 00:13:55,442 No, Nick, I cannot, and you want to know why? 396 00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:56,879 Because you are a writer. 397 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,359 And a damn good one at that. 398 00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,883 But you're just too scared to admit it to yourself. 399 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:02,754 Good-bye, sir. 400 00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:06,105 No! Damn, you raven-haired dandy boy. 401 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:08,107 Yeah, thought carving our names 402 00:14:08,150 --> 00:14:10,370 in the trees would have taken longer. Yeah. 403 00:14:10,413 --> 00:14:11,807 [owl hooting] 404 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:15,028 So... do you want... want to have sex? 405 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:17,029 Yeah. I think that's... Yeah, let's... 406 00:14:17,072 --> 00:14:21,556 Listen, Aly, I got to admit, I'm pretty tapped out. 407 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:24,254 I-I'm sorry to say it like that, but, you know, I'm...No. Me, too! 408 00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:26,604 We've had too much sex too fast! I know! 409 00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,171 Why didn't we pace ourselves? [sighs] 410 00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:29,693 I'm so exhausted. 411 00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,913 Oh, my gosh, I think this whole ordeal just illustrates 412 00:14:31,957 --> 00:14:34,177 why three months isn'tthree days. 413 00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:36,701 So happy you said that.[laughs] 414 00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,966 I'm just happy to be in the same place as you.Me, too. 415 00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:52,413 And, you know, we did do it 13 times. 416 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:55,328 That's a lot.That's a lot of times. 417 00:14:55,371 --> 00:14:57,765 But you know what my favorite time was? 11? 418 00:14:57,808 --> 00:14:59,549 11. You knew. [laughs] 419 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,203 Oh, I knew. 11 was great. 420 00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,945 Mm. Maybe we should do 11 again. 421 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,947 But this time... I'm the mermaid. 422 00:15:05,991 --> 00:15:08,732 Okay. I'm the mermaid. 423 00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,299 [laughing]: No, I'm the mermaid. 424 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:13,129 Kind of, uh... Yeah, right there. Perfect. 425 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:14,390 Get your butt down there.[sighs] 426 00:15:14,434 --> 00:15:15,957 Come here! 427 00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:17,394 Ooh! [laughs] 428 00:15:17,437 --> 00:15:23,225 BOTH: ♪ It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you ♪ 429 00:15:23,269 --> 00:15:28,623 ♪ There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do ♪ 430 00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:32,235 ♪ I bless the rains down in Africa... ♪ 431 00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:33,366 This is electric. 432 00:15:33,409 --> 00:15:35,325 ♪ I bless the rains 433 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,674 ♪ Down in Africa 434 00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,024 ♪ I bless the rain 435 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,808 BOTH: ♪ I bless the rains 436 00:15:40,851 --> 00:15:43,812 ♪ Down in Africa 437 00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,988 ♪ Gonna take some time 438 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:50,253 ♪ To do the things we never had ♪ 439 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:53,255 ♪ Had. Wait! Stop! 440 00:15:53,299 --> 00:15:54,649 I can't! 441 00:15:56,302 --> 00:15:58,260 You can't what? 442 00:15:59,653 --> 00:16:03,178 I can't ignore what's going on with Brenda and Hugh! 443 00:16:03,222 --> 00:16:05,138 We weren't doing anything! 444 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,616 I hope you guys were behaving, all right? 445 00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:08,227 Because you know what happens on strike two. 446 00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:09,620 Strike two and... 447 00:16:09,663 --> 00:16:11,230 Strike... You're not out on strike two, 448 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:13,014 but, you know, strike two, you're on thin ice. 449 00:16:13,058 --> 00:16:15,104 Jess should be on thin ice.Ugh! 450 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,192 She took us on a couples trip! 451 00:16:16,235 --> 00:16:19,629 Yeah, that's like taking alcoholics to a brewery! 452 00:16:19,673 --> 00:16:22,024 Nobody here wants to hear from you, Hugh. 453 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:24,244 You Hugh. 454 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,028 You... Hugh. 455 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,812 You made us hang out with your lame couples friends! 456 00:16:28,856 --> 00:16:30,815 How are we lame?There is no reason to attack us. 457 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:33,817 And when singing Toto, why is it always "Africa"? 458 00:16:33,861 --> 00:16:35,690 They've got a deep catalog! ROBBY: Okay. 459 00:16:35,732 --> 00:16:37,256 Look, I think we can all agree 460 00:16:37,299 --> 00:16:39,259 that Jess is a very important member of this group. 461 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,476 You hypocrite. 462 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,263 Before you cast aspersions on anyone else, 463 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,481 you need to take a good long look at yourself, Robby! 464 00:16:45,525 --> 00:16:47,397 The emperorI don't even know 465 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,182 has no clothes!why we bothered coming here! 466 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:50,618 [overlapping chatter] 467 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,315 And you sexualized Toto. 468 00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:53,403 No, you make a good... 469 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:55,536 I know those guys. They're good guys! 470 00:16:55,578 --> 00:16:57,190 Know what? Enough! 471 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,845 Okay, I'm not, uh... 472 00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,977 Guys, I'm not actually gonna smash my guitar 473 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,240 to get your attention. 474 00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,415 But listen, I don't want you to lose faith in this group. 475 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,069 Okay? Just... 476 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,289 lose faith in me. 477 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:13,944 Because you're right. I have been a hypocrite. Uh... 478 00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,557 I do have feelings for Jess. 479 00:17:18,558 --> 00:17:19,646 Ooh. 480 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,170 [gasps] 481 00:17:21,213 --> 00:17:23,519 Just... he didn't say what kind of feelings. 482 00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:25,479 They're sexual and romantic feelings. 483 00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,220 Oh, wow. Oh, boy. 484 00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:28,829 BRENDA: Well, what do you know? 485 00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:36,010 I'm really sorry about last night. Where's the group? 486 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:39,362 The group is kind of permanently done. 487 00:17:39,405 --> 00:17:41,016 Robby sent out a final e-mail. 488 00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:42,799 It was in Latin, uh, 489 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,366 and it was in this gothic font. 490 00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:45,933 I'm kind of worried about him. 491 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,805 Why don't you give the guy a chance, Jess? 492 00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:50,199 [sighs] I'm not interested right now. 493 00:17:50,242 --> 00:17:52,461 So, what, are you just gonna give up on love, 494 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,115 be alone forever? Like...No, you know me. 495 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,900 I love love! 496 00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:58,772 Anything in pairs makes me choked up. 497 00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:03,211 Shoes, socks, chopsticks. 498 00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:06,346 I'm just in kind of a confusing place right now, 499 00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:09,218 and I think you guys know why. 500 00:18:09,261 --> 00:18:11,176 It's about Nick, right? 501 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,569 Yes, of course we are talking about Nick.I knew it. 502 00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:14,570 Yes, I'm talking about Nick. 503 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,529 I knew it.I knew it. 504 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,009 But, look, I want you to know something. 505 00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,490 I'm really, really happy being single right now. 506 00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:23,363 I'm sorry if my group ruined your weekend. 507 00:18:23,405 --> 00:18:25,365 They're really cool people if you get to know them. 508 00:18:25,407 --> 00:18:26,583 I'm sure. [phone chimes] 509 00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,150 Yeah. Oh, my God, I have to go. 510 00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:29,804 Foster got a corn chip in his eye. 511 00:18:29,846 --> 00:18:31,284 SCHMIDT: Okay, you know what? 512 00:18:31,326 --> 00:18:32,414 We need to make a pact 513 00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:35,375 to befriend at least one other married couple. 514 00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:36,810 Yeah, but how are we gonna do that? 515 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:39,204 We don't have a kid, and I refuse to take cooking classes. 516 00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,381 I don't know. Maybe we just go to a Norah Jones concert, 517 00:18:41,423 --> 00:18:44,078 stand outside and look lost. 518 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,256 Well, Schmidty, you pulled a real 519 00:18:47,299 --> 00:18:50,999 Mr. Miyagi on the whole "no notes, tough love" routine. 520 00:18:51,041 --> 00:18:52,392 Let me see it. 521 00:18:52,434 --> 00:18:55,829 Ooh! Nick, there's a whole nother chapter here. 522 00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,048 How did you make this happen? 523 00:18:57,092 --> 00:18:59,442 I worked... because of you. And... 524 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:02,836 who is this wise, 525 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,012 denim-clad Jewish chaplain? 526 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:06,753 Sch-Schmith? 527 00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,625 That was the big thing. 528 00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:12,325 You helped me realize that Pepperwood needed a Schmidt. 529 00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,413 Okay. While it's an honor 530 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:17,416 to be included in the world that you've created here, 531 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:20,028 um... [sighs] 532 00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:23,204 the Schmith character seems, uh, grotesque. 533 00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,641 Yeah, he's unlikeable.I don't understand why, 534 00:19:24,684 --> 00:19:28,210 when we meet this character, he-he's kicking a puppy. 535 00:19:28,253 --> 00:19:30,472 He's the bad guy... in Pepperwood's life. 536 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:31,778 He's mean, he's... 537 00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:34,433 He's not somebody you want to introduce to Mom and Dad. 538 00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:36,435 The cha... the character.Schmith is a dirt bag. 539 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,567 I have no respect for Schmith, 540 00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:39,874 and neither should anybody else.I think that's 541 00:19:39,916 --> 00:19:42,310 a mistake to say those things about the character. 542 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,791 I appreciate what you're saying, but I'm happy with what I have. 543 00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:46,923 I don't need any notes.Oh, now it's no notes?! 544 00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:49,491 Nick? Nick?! 545 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:52,059 Sit anywhere? 546 00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:03,462 What's up, Robby? 547 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,247 Hey, sorry. I'll leave. I was almost done.. 548 00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:06,682 No! You'll ruin your food! 549 00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,381 Yeah, just like I ruined the group. 550 00:20:08,423 --> 00:20:10,251 You didn't ruin anything. We're... 551 00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,689 We're still hanging out. Really? 552 00:20:12,732 --> 00:20:15,474 Okay, so could you guys vote me back in maybe? 553 00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:17,390 We voted to get rid of voting. 554 00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:19,347 It's the same, just, uh, without the rules. 555 00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:24,961 Jess, I don't really know what to say. 556 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,268 Don't say anything. 557 00:20:26,311 --> 00:20:28,314 It's fine. I'm just gonna read. 558 00:20:28,356 --> 00:20:31,446 Um, Winston gave me a copy of Nick's book. 559 00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:33,449 It's actually pretty good. 560 00:20:33,492 --> 00:20:35,320 Um... [laughing] 561 00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:36,712 Except the foreword says, 562 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:39,499 "Best enjoyed with shrimp cocktail." [laughs] 563 00:20:39,541 --> 00:20:41,631 You can go back to your crossword puzzle. 564 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,242 It's a word search. Oh. 565 00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:51,902 Hey, Robby? 566 00:20:51,945 --> 00:20:53,903 Hmm? 567 00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:55,515 Should... should we just share a table? 568 00:20:55,557 --> 00:20:57,125 Is that crazy? 569 00:20:57,167 --> 00:20:59,126 I don't think it's crazy at all. Do you? 570 00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:02,173 No. I mean, I suggested it, so, no. Yeah. 571 00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,436 Okay. Oh, thanks. 572 00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:11,748 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh 573 00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:14,534 [sighs] 574 00:21:14,576 --> 00:21:16,971 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... 575 00:21:17,013 --> 00:21:19,451 Hey, Jess? 576 00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,454 Um... 577 00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:25,545 I just found the word "locomotive," 578 00:21:25,587 --> 00:21:27,373 backwards and diagonal. 579 00:21:27,415 --> 00:21:32,377 ♪ Saint Laurent built in the '70s ♪ 580 00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:37,121 ♪ No intelligent thing left to say ♪ 581 00:21:37,164 --> 00:21:39,123 ♪ Oh. 582 00:21:39,166 --> 00:21:42,083 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH