1 00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:04,205 ALL: Road trip! 2 00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:05,039 NICK: See you guys. 3 00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:06,074 JESS: Have a good time. 4 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:07,241 SCHMIDT: Let's go. 5 00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:08,642 We're just gonna have a chill day in. 6 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,211 WINSTON: Road trip! NICK: Yeah! 7 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,879 I said, "Chill day in..." 8 00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:14,248 ...but did I mean it? 9 00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:15,716 (laughs) 10 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,385 Wait, I thought we were having a chill day. 11 00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,053 Oh... we are... 12 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,821 Oh, good. ...not. 13 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:21,889 Welcome to 14 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:23,891 your bachelorette party 2.0. 15 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,226 I got... 16 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,527 the nail polish. Mm. 17 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,562 I got comfy socks. Okay. 18 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:31,332 I have Canadian Broadcast Television's 19 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,500 1985 masterpiece, 20 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,502 Anne of Green Gables. 21 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,503 Good ol' A.G.G. 22 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,504 But, oh, wait... 23 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,239 who invited this 24 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,374 little green chimney? 25 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:42,276 I-it's a bong. 26 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:43,177 Yeah. 27 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,745 Oh, scoot, once every ten years, 28 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,847 Jessica Day likes to partake 29 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,251 in what the Native Americans call cannabis. 30 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,285 That's Latin. I like to call it 31 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:52,353 Giggle Dirt. 32 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,687 You know, we really don't 33 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,022 have to do this, because every time 34 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,690 you smoke weed you almost die. 35 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,193 I'm gonna Jackass into these melons! 36 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,361 Ah... 37 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,862 Ah... 38 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,864 * Return of the mack 39 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:04,865 * Oh, my God 40 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,434 * Return of high Jess 41 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,368 * Here I am 42 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,536 * Return of high Jess 43 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,603 * Once again 44 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,705 * Return of the mack (whoops) 45 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,207 * Top of the world 46 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,542 * Return of the mack, watch my flow... * 47 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,076 Anne Shirley... 48 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,413 ...what in heck are you doing? 49 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,550 Fishing for lake trout. 50 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,884 Hey. Hmm? 51 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,819 GILBERT: For lake trout? Remember Coach? 52 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,989 (laughing): Oh, yeah. 53 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,658 Where is he? 54 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,993 * 55 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,131 Anne, wait, wait a minute. 56 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,466 I was just down at the post office 57 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,667 to see if the Queens results... Like, why... 58 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,968 like, why... 59 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:43,070 like why are Gilbert's lips so sexual? 60 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,674 Wait a minute, you ninny, we tied for first place, 61 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,142 you and I. Man, I... 62 00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:50,411 I-I love Schmidt, you know I love Schmidt, 63 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,746 but I would throw it all away for Gilbert. 64 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,082 I would just ruin my life to that boy. 65 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,917 I'm just sorry you had to share it with me. 66 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,919 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 67 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,188 Wait a minute. 68 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,855 The very fact that socks exist 69 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:04,325 is proof that shoes don't work. 70 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,759 Oh, my God, I... my hearing is, 71 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,828 like, so good without my glasses on. 72 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,096 I'm, like... 73 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,765 a super hear-o. 74 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:12,700 Just... 75 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:13,701 eating up sounds 76 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:14,935 with my ear mouths. 77 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,604 Oh, my God, oh, my God, 78 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,272 oh, my God, oh, my God. 79 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:21,542 Oh, my God, wait till you try that. 80 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,511 Okay. Put them on. 81 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,614 It's like my hearing is, like, what a dog hears. 82 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,382 ANNE: ...and I was calmly waiting for it. 83 00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:30,618 I can hear the TV. 84 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,386 I can hear the TV. 85 00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:33,454 I can hear the TV. 86 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,955 (sighs) Man. 87 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,123 Oh, my God. 88 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,525 Okay, this stuff is really strong. 89 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,527 Where did you get it? 90 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,395 I know people... 91 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,231 through you. 92 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:46,734 So, it's just gonna be me and Cece, uh, but I want to, 93 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,636 you know, throw a little... 94 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,538 gasoline on the fire, if you know what I mean. 95 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,807 I have Russian nesting doll. 96 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,008 Uh-oh. 97 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:56,977 It's grenade. 98 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,078 Just looking for 99 00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,913 a little weed, Nadia. 100 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,949 And what the heck, throw in that bag of kettle corn, too. 101 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,820 (laughs) 102 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,022 (knocking on door) 103 00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:11,425 Oh, scoot! 104 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:12,993 You got me a stripper?! 105 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,161 So, uh, you want me to sign my package, or... 106 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,162 Wait, I think 107 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,097 he's just a... A man... 108 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,166 trying to do my job for the U.S. Postal Service, 109 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,268 not a stripper. 110 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:21,435 Yes, I dance. 111 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,170 Yes, I'm sexy... 112 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,438 but I don't do it professionally. 113 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,839 Now, could you please just sign here? 114 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,441 Your calves look like a snake 115 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:28,909 swallowed a bag of ropes. You know that, right? 116 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,177 I'm sorry for my friend 117 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,512 objectifying you, 118 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,848 but in her defense, you are fine as hell. 119 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,183 Fine as hell! 120 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,351 I know you're not a stripper, 121 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:38,419 but is there any way you could 122 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:39,420 just take your short pants off? 123 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,454 Mm-hmm. 124 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:41,522 (chuckles) Have a nice day. 125 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,523 Om, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, 126 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,757 nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom, nom. 127 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,359 Sorry. Very sorry. 128 00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,794 Sorry, sorry. But we are not sorry about that. 129 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,696 Keep walking away there! Oh, keep... slow... 130 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,431 it down there for a second. (whooping) 131 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:51,432 Ay-ay-ay. Ooh... 132 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:52,866 (yelling grito) 133 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:53,767 (both catcalling) 134 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,636 Smack that! Sorry. Ooh. 135 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,871 (grunts) 136 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,039 I think this is 137 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,808 a gift from our registry. 138 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,209 Wait, don't open it! 139 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,544 What if i-inside of it 140 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,113 is us, but we're older? 141 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,881 I've no clue what this is. 142 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,284 You know, Schmidt handled everything from the registry. 143 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,620 (scanner beeping) Crockpot! 144 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:13,821 Kettle, kettle! 145 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:14,822 Espresso maker! 146 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:15,789 Trivet! 147 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,425 Melon baller! 148 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:21,061 It's a bread maker? 149 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,162 From... 150 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,731 oh, from Schmidt's mom. 151 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:27,568 "Cece, this bread maker couldn't be easier to use. 152 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,069 "It has one button. 153 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,472 "Even you can do it with a few tries. 154 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,806 "Ha, ha, 155 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,241 Louise." 156 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,577 What does that mean?! 157 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,412 Oh, no. 158 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:39,413 She... 159 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,081 Oh, no! 160 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,350 I mean, is she trying to say 161 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:45,185 that I can't even push one button? 162 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,154 She doesn't think that I can take care 163 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,989 of her precious, little boy. 164 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,324 She doesn't like that Schmidt does 165 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,425 all the cooking... Hold up, 166 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,927 hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. 167 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,929 This simple bitch 168 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,297 wants you to be some kind of 169 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:58,432 June Cleaver, Betty Draper, 170 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,434 Carol Brady wifey?! 171 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,268 Mm-mm. It is the 172 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,536 21st century! Uh-huh. 173 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:03,871 Fifth generation feminism! 174 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,539 Keep going. Work-life balance! 175 00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:06,507 We need to rise up. Yeah! 176 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,610 22% less pay for the same job?! 177 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,778 Don't tell me what to wax! 178 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,446 Sideburn where my thigh turn. 179 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,881 You know what we need to do to this thing?! 180 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:14,848 Bake bread in it! 181 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,784 Wait, wait, wait! 182 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:17,818 What, what?! 183 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,289 You'll do a lot more damage with this. 184 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,391 This is why I love you. 185 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,294 Homemade bread's for Europeans! 186 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,362 That's right! Yeah! 187 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:29,363 U.S.A.! 188 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:32,065 BOTH: U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 189 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:35,403 Oh, my God, I just realized some day I'm gonna have 190 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:38,038 to speak at my mother's funeral. 191 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,540 Wow. 192 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,909 U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 193 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:42,910 (phone ringing) U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 194 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,311 Oh, wait... hey! 195 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,146 We're coming up on the rental place right now. 196 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,548 I just got an e-mail notification 197 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,717 that our first wedding gift has arrived. 198 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,051 Oh, y-you did? 199 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,319 Spoiler alert, 200 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,722 it's a bread maker. Bread maker. 201 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:55,989 Cece, do me a favor and bring it inside. 202 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,224 It's in the hallway right now. 203 00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,426 Yeah, I'll-I'll go... 204 00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,727 I'll go get the... the bread maker 205 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,662 and bring it inside, in one piece, 206 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,730 safe and sound. 207 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:03,831 I love you so much, I got to go. 208 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,332 SCHMIDT, NICK, WINSTON: Bread maker! 209 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,167 (phone beeps off) 210 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,002 This was shipped like this 211 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,171 so we are gonna need a new one. 212 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,406 You obviously broke this yourself. 213 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,407 Uh... 214 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,608 (laughs) 215 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,009 ...you obviously broke it yourself. 216 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,010 Yup. 217 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,178 No. (Jess laughs) 218 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,346 You crushed it with your mind. 219 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,881 Okay, you're calling me a witch? No, no, no, 220 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,283 a sorceress, a sorceress. 221 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,418 You just have magical powers, 222 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:25,719 you don't like... 223 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,254 I don't know how I can help you today. 224 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,255 It's like that episode of... 225 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,256 remember that episode? 226 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,290 Yeah. 227 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,592 Of that... yeah. 228 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:32,660 (sighs) 229 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,467 So... 230 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,268 Okay, so, like, um... 231 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,637 how-how much would it... would it be to replace it? 232 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,607 It's $1,200. 233 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,912 Is there a store in the mall 234 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:56,584 that sells $1,200 for, like, $50? 235 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,155 How is this thing so expensive? 236 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,424 JESS: Aly! 237 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,494 What are you doing here? 238 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,095 Seriously? 239 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,663 We just had this conversation outside the mall. 240 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:10,798 Hey. JESS: Aly! 241 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,299 What are you doing here? 242 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,834 You don't... remember that? 243 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,669 No, no, I do, I do. 244 00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:17,505 You don't, do you? I don't. 245 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:18,606 (Jess laughs) 246 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,173 I don't. I do. 247 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:21,842 Really? No. Okay. 248 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,511 It's Cece's bachelorette party. 249 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,479 Yeah... 250 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,414 It's Cece's bachelorette party. 251 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,582 Oh, yeah. 252 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:29,850 You do remember it? No. (laughs) 253 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:30,684 Don't remember it? 254 00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:31,819 Mm-mm. Anyway... 255 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,353 this is my super 256 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,022 present boyfriend, Tripp. 257 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:35,989 I'm sorry, 258 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:36,957 he's dealing with a very 259 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,158 important work crisis 260 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,293 right now, since he's an agent 261 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,862 for animal actors. 262 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,363 Fine, fine! 263 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,865 Hire Colonel Fantastic instead of Maurice. 264 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,466 You want to walk onto Alfonso Cuarón's set 265 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,301 and tell him that he lost his lead otter, 266 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:49,837 be my-be my guest, okay. 267 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,371 Who's gonna get her in the water with Naomi Watts? 268 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,873 Colonel Fantastic? 269 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,642 Yeah, right. 270 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,510 It's my fifth year anniversary of being a cop 271 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,478 and he's supposed to make me dinner... 272 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,380 if he ever gets off the phone. 273 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,715 Hey, babe, 274 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:03,216 I need a left-handed spatula, okay? 275 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,918 Don't tell me it's not a thing; it's a thing. 276 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,888 Soul mates do exist. 277 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:08,889 (laughs) 278 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:09,890 What a wang. 279 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,058 (both chuckle) 280 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,059 You know what? Hmm? 281 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,226 (gasps) 282 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,662 I'm gonna tell Aly that 283 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,329 Winston's in love with her! 284 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,731 No, Winston would kill you. 285 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,199 Okay, I'll just text Winston 286 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,901 and I'll get him up to speed 287 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,035 on Aly and Tripp. 288 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:27,207 (humming): Nailed it. 289 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,542 Excuse me, are you actually 290 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,543 gonna buy something? 291 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:30,744 Yeah, we need to buy another 292 00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,079 bread maker, 'cause you claim 293 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,381 we "destroyed" this one "with a stick." 294 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,183 I never said stick and we're out of stock. 295 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,918 Well, maybe that's what you said. 296 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,753 You destroyed this thing with the stock. 297 00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:40,754 Is that what you did? 298 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:41,755 You beat this with a stick? 299 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,924 No, I didn't, I said you said... 300 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,759 you said stick. But I didn't say stick. 301 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:46,694 I never said stick. 302 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:47,595 I don't even have a stick. 303 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:48,996 I live downtown. 304 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,864 Well, we're-we're out of stock, so... 305 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:51,932 But you-you have one right there. 306 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:52,866 (gasps) Oh... 307 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,267 that's the floor model. 308 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,603 Can't sell the floor model. Yes, you... 309 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,237 it's right there. It's right there. 310 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,271 We need it to sell other bread makers. 311 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,607 You just said 312 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,374 you don't have other bread makers. 313 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,275 I don't make the rules. 314 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,577 Who makes the rules? 315 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,245 Derek. 316 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,546 (inhaling) 317 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,948 Definitely too high No, I cannot deal 318 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:10,450 to talk to Derek. with Derek right now. 319 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,954 Okay, I have a really good plan, all right? 320 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,223 We just leave this here 321 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,958 and then we go do something different. 322 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,960 Jessica, that is the first thing 323 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,229 that Schmidt and I own together and I ruined it. 324 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,697 I have to do something. 325 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,465 I have to replace it. 326 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:26,800 (sighs) 327 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,669 Okay. 328 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,112 MAN: * Feel like baking love 329 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,850 * Feel like baking love 330 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:46,987 What? 331 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:50,090 How does it know we're here? 332 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,726 * Feel like baking love... 333 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:53,994 What's happening? * Feel like 334 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,663 * F-feel like baking 335 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:58,165 * Feel like baking love 336 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,633 (whispering): Psst! Hey... 337 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,134 * Feel like baking love 338 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,169 * Feel like-feel like 339 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,071 Snap out of it, snap out of it. 340 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,906 * Feel like baking love, feel like * 341 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,441 Get down. Snap out of it. * Feel like... feel like baking love * 342 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:11,111 * 343 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,846 (sighs) 344 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,215 (grunts) Get this puppy... 345 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:27,861 (clattering) 346 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,196 * Feel like baking love 347 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,298 * 348 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,166 Should we get snacks? 349 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,570 * Feel like baking love 350 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,474 * Feel like baking love * 351 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:42,876 * Feel like baking love 352 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,377 (whispering): Go, go! 353 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,981 No, he won't wear glasses. 354 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,382 Uh, because he's not 355 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,151 a library owl, he's a horror movie owl. 356 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,552 Look, 357 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,521 we're gonna do your cop dinner thing tomorrow. 358 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,056 (sighs) 359 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,891 Yeah, this is just how I wanted to celebrate a major 360 00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,827 milestone. (gasps) What's happening there? 361 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,028 Forget it, okay? Just go. 362 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,129 And I hope your owl 363 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,663 chokes on a mouse. 364 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:06,233 That is so mean. 365 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,334 I've seen that happen. 366 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,237 (gasps) Did they just break up? 367 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,705 This is huge for Winston. 368 00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,041 What are you... what... Hey, Jess, move. 369 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,375 Jess, move, come on. Keep moving. 370 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,377 Keep moving, keep moving, keep moving. 371 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,713 Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. 372 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:20,714 Almost there, almost there. 373 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:21,715 ALY: Ugh. Oh! 374 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:22,916 Tripp just took off. 375 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,084 What, uh... 376 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,919 are... what are you guys doing? 377 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,587 BOTH: Nothing. Do you need help with that box? 378 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,521 Nope. No, we're good. 379 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,556 It looks heavy, I can help you. 380 00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:30,924 No, you don't want to get involved, 381 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,025 trust me. Please, don't make me say it. 382 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,894 Fine, I'll say it. 383 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,596 I don't really want to be alone right now, and so... 384 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:39,266 can I please just... like, come help you guys 385 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,400 make bread or whatever? 386 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:41,935 Aw, of course, yeah. Let's go. 387 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,070 Got to go quickly, got to go quickly. 388 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,071 Yeah, yeah, let's go, let's go. 389 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,705 Did you trash the display? 390 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,775 Is that a stolen floor model? 391 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,442 Back off! 392 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,644 Do these ladies look like shoplifters to you? 393 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,949 Oh, no. 394 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,217 What are you doing? 395 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,551 This isn't how you handcuff people. 396 00:11:58,585 --> 00:11:59,552 It's mall jail. 397 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,620 I only have two handcuffs. 398 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,789 I'm an actual cop. 399 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:02,790 (laughing): Yeah, right. 400 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:03,957 I'm a cop! 401 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:05,392 For the love of mack daddy, 402 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,127 why can't you be cool? Shut it! 403 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,128 You're in my house now. 404 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,897 Calm down, sir, your house is clearly 405 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,131 a lost and found. 406 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,133 JESS: And it's all just baby shoes... 407 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,634 and babies don't even need shoes. 408 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,736 Why not put that money towards something worthwhile 409 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,738 like a cute hat or a raincoat? 410 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,640 (laughing): A baby in a raincoat. 411 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,976 It's like... just like a... 412 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,912 a little baby meteorologist. 413 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,113 (laughs) 414 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,614 Hey, so, it's this simple, okay. 415 00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:28,949 We wanted to pay for the bread maker, 416 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,317 but they wouldn't let us pay for it 417 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,618 because it was a floor model, 418 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,353 so we had a plan... I don't care. 419 00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,624 (laughs) (lock clicks) 420 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,826 (laughs) 421 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,493 Baby in a raincoat. 422 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:41,628 (Jess laughing) 423 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,167 This is bad, you guys. This is really bad! 424 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,168 He's gonna call the real cops 425 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,669 and I'm gonna be in so much trouble. 426 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,338 I could lose my job... 427 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,806 or worse... 428 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:53,841 (gasps) 429 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,308 ...they put me on train duty. 430 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,344 I'm so sorry we got you in this situation, okay. 431 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,112 I am so sorry, too. 432 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,513 Okay, how do we get out of here? 433 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,282 How, how? Before the cops come. 434 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,316 Oh! 435 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,018 Yes, okay, guys, 436 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,820 here's how we get out of here. 437 00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,989 We dress up in the clothes from the lost and found, 438 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,790 and we start crying, 439 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,660 and then he comes back in and he's like, "Where are the girls? 440 00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,363 This is just babies in here." 441 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,764 You're incredibly high. 442 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,699 No. 443 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,334 Yeah. No. 444 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,036 Mm-hmm. No. No. 445 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:24,671 Yeah. Yeah. Who? 446 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,706 You. You, babe. How did you know? 447 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,475 Oh, I knew from the first second I saw you. 448 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,010 Like, literally the first second. 449 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,678 Okay, ideas, you, go. 450 00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,181 Oh, no, no, no, I am not giving you any ideas 451 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:37,017 because it was my idea that got us into this mess 452 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,218 in the first place. 453 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,887 First... 454 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,023 I bashed Schmidt's $1,200 bread maker. 455 00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,324 $1,200? Yeah. 456 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:45,993 (gasps) For a bread maker? I know. 457 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,261 That's a lot of dough. 458 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,731 I'm trying to wink. 459 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:52,900 Am I winking? 460 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,335 Then I got my best friend here 461 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,736 to commit a crime, 462 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:59,873 and now you might have... train duty? 463 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,342 It's like marathon duty but without the hot guys 464 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,576 pooping their pants. 465 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,078 What does that say about me 466 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:08,548 if I can't even take care of a bread maker? 467 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,050 What if Louise was right? 468 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,185 What if I can't take care of Schmidt? 469 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:15,088 How can you say you don't take care of people? 470 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,925 You've been taking care of me my entire life. 471 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,592 You're fierce and you are strong, 472 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:23,396 and you would stand up for anyone that you love. 473 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,765 You're like a big, scary mama bear. 474 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,268 I'm gonna Jackass into these melons! 475 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,536 (grunting) 476 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,737 JESS: Ah... 477 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,473 (Jess laughing) 478 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,111 I'm okay. 479 00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,947 (sighs) 480 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,282 You're my mama bear, girl. 481 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,951 Oh... 482 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,053 I wish I had someone 483 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,620 in my life who cared about me the way 484 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,788 you guys care about each other. 485 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:49,923 (gasps) 486 00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,691 (whispering): Oh, don't. 487 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,460 (whispering): You do. I just... I've been a cop 488 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,428 for five years and... You do. 489 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:56,529 Jessica! 490 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,597 ...I just wanted to celebrate it, 491 00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,632 (mouthing) but then Tripp had to leave 492 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,301 to meet an owl for sushi. 493 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,636 An owl he sent a basket of mice 494 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,805 to at Christmas, who 495 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,807 I'm pretty sure has a nicer house than me. 496 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,576 (gasps) Let me tell her... please! 497 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,978 (door opens) I'll blame it on being stoned. 498 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:11,979 Stoned? 499 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,646 You're stoned? 500 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,115 That makes this a drug case. 501 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,083 Okay, yeah, you have no idea 502 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,484 what you're talking about. 503 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,952 Wait, no, I made a mistake. You better get 504 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,587 comfortable, you're gonna be here 505 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,089 for a long time, lady! 506 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:22,922 A long time! 507 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,625 Oh, you little... 508 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,127 power trip... 509 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,428 trash guard! 510 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,496 You know what? 511 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,331 This is over! 512 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,665 The only way you 513 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,134 are gonna get to her 514 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,835 is if you go through me, 515 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:40,373 and you are not getting through me. 516 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:45,678 (in slow motion): Mama bear. 517 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,880 (Cece growls) ALY: Oh... 518 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,519 (in slow motion): Oh, don't do that. No... 519 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,787 * Oh 520 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,023 Hey, no! 521 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,024 No, no, no! 522 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,025 * Return of the mack 523 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,527 I have a system. 524 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,295 * Return of the mack (guard yells) 525 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,296 * Come on 526 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,464 * Return of the mack 527 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,333 * Oh, my God No, please. 528 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,201 * Return of the mack, here I am * The shoes. 529 00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:09,369 * Return of the mack I had those all paired off. 530 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,370 * Once again 531 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,371 * Return of the mack 532 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,839 * Top of the world Run! 533 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,474 * Return of the mack 534 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,808 * Watch my flow No! 535 00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,277 What? 536 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,812 * Return of the mack Hey, no, wait! No! 537 00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:20,813 * 538 00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,182 * Return of the mack 539 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,216 * Watch my flow 540 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,351 * Return of the mack 541 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:25,352 * Here I go... 542 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,719 Mama bear! 543 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,721 That was freaking awesome! 544 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,390 Aly, Winston has a crush on you! 545 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,325 (music stops) What? 546 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:33,826 * Return of the mack Bishop has a crush on me?! 547 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:34,894 * Up and down... Run! 548 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,201 Bishop has a crush on me? 549 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,202 Bishop? 550 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,836 Mm-hmm. 551 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,405 No, I can't date my partner. 552 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,074 Why not? He's the best guy! 553 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,741 And you broke up with what's-his-name. 554 00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:49,742 What? No, I didn't. 555 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,578 Hmm? No, Tripp and I are 556 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,280 just... we're in a fight. 557 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:56,883 Ah. 558 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,218 Interesting 559 00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,419 information. 560 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,554 I... 561 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,923 texted Winston and told him you were single. 562 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:04,857 What? Oh... 563 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,093 it's fine. 564 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,427 They're in Las Vegas. 565 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,028 They're... 566 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:12,799 stuffing coins into the underpanties of women. 567 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:17,204 Oh, my God! 568 00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,271 CECE: What happened to you? 569 00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:19,906 We can't talk 570 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,508 about it right now. We're here to help Winston with... 571 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,942 Who did that to you? Where are they? I will kill them. 572 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,377 Oh, uh... 573 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,446 truth be told, it was a child. 574 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:27,614 WINSTON: Uh, Aly. Child? 575 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:28,948 You're... you're here. 576 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,450 (laughs) 577 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,785 Uh, guys, you... 578 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,387 you ready? JESS: Winston. 579 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,123 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait. No... no. 580 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,257 Mm-mm, no. Trust me. 581 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,225 Mm-mm, mm-mm. Don't. Mm-mm. 582 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:42,295 * Alison 583 00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,931 * I know this world Aly, um, look, I really like you, 584 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,134 * Is killing and, um... 585 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,968 * You, oh look, I know you just broke up with your boyfriend, 586 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,637 * Alison but... whenever you're ready, 587 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,772 I'd like to take you on a date. (mouthing) 588 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,974 A real date, you know, with food, and music... 589 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,476 Bishop, I didn't... 590 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,978 * My aim I didn't break up with him. 591 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,013 * Oh, you've got a husband now. * 592 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,750 We didn't break up. 593 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,685 I'm sorry, uh... 594 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:07,620 Jess said... 595 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,622 There was a miscommunication. 596 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,592 It wasn't really me. 597 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,261 It was high Jess. 598 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,628 I missed high Jess?! 599 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,264 Now I have to wait another ten years? 600 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,765 I can't take it anymore. I just have to say something. 601 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,500 Cece, I'm still in love with you, all right? 602 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,135 Don't marry Schmidt. 603 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,803 That's a big mistake, all right? You run away with me... 604 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,071 Not now, Robby. Honestly, stop. 605 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,174 Now's not the time, Robby. Okay, it makes sense, I... 606 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,841 I've been in this apartment before, I'm certain of it. 607 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,310 It was 1972. 608 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:33,280 Gore Vidal, Linda Lavin, and I were all drunk 609 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,981 on white port and cough syrup... 610 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,349 Guys, quiet, please, 611 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,350 I just... 612 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:38,351 I need to talk to Bishop 613 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:39,352 for a second. 614 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:41,721 I'm so sorry about this. 615 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,825 That song was nice. 616 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:49,496 Um... Aly is actually not short for Alison 617 00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:50,697 but... 618 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,131 it was really good effort. Okay, cool, 619 00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:53,833 yeah, that's... (exhales) 620 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,835 I'm-I'm good. I'm good, um... 621 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,205 Tripp, you know, he's a very lucky guy, 622 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,039 very lucky guy, but I'm fine. Don't worry about me. 623 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,474 I'm just gonna go to my room 624 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,543 and try to shove my face through a heating grate. 625 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,811 (chuckles) 626 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,146 Yeah, Jess, I will deal with you in the morning. 627 00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,549 You know what my Grammy always said, 628 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,551 "Why put off for tomorrow-day, 629 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:15,388 what you could say, nnn... today-day?" 630 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:18,525 Yeah. 631 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,193 Oh, Aly, um... 632 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,828 Happy Copiversary. 633 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,063 You've been a cop five years today, 634 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,165 and I know how much that means to you, 635 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,067 so... 636 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,571 congratulations, I am very proud of you. 637 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:32,572 Oh, my... 638 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,973 Wait, Winston. 639 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,076 Uh, something told me not to go with copiversary. 640 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,912 My first choice, though, was Police Navidad. 641 00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,748 No, I just... 642 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,417 You remembered. 643 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:45,685 (chuckles) 644 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,420 Well, of course, I remembered. 645 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,222 I mean, I'm your partner, 646 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,257 why wouldn't I re... I mean, I... 647 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,238 Thank you. 648 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,108 (shouting in Russian) 649 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,076 You! 650 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,110 (Jess shouts) 651 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,612 (panicked shouting, screaming) 652 00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:21,321 (gasping) 653 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,258 Welcome to Russian bachelorette party! 654 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,726 Oh, Nadia! Nadia, you look stunning! 655 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:27,927 Praise Jesus! 656 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,961 Now, dance, now! 657 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:32,231 ("You Sexy Thing" intro plays) 658 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,133 CECE: Whoa. 659 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:37,937 (cheering, whooping) 660 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,572 (man singing in Russian) 661 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,808 Dance! You dance now! 662 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,478 All of you, you dance! 663 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,816 I think I'm over Cece. 664 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:50,983 Who is that? 665 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,118 (meows) 666 00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:54,120 (laughing) 667 00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:55,422 * 668 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:58,925 NADIA: I spank you, dirty Nick bastard! 669 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,160 Shut up, monster! 670 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:02,829 You hear me?! 671 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:06,333 * (laughing, whooping) 672 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:07,634 Yeah! 673 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,538 Yeah! 674 00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,476 This is the happiest I've been in my entire life. 675 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,511 I mean, look at my feet. Can't you see how happy I am? 676 00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:19,679 Okay, you know I still technically 677 00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:21,013 have a boyfriend, right? 678 00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:22,148 Oh, it's cool, I'm married. 679 00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:23,249 What? 680 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,784 Oh, don't worry, it was a prank. 681 00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:26,185 What?! 682 00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:27,854 Best man. 683 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,188 Maid of honor. 684 00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,358 (needle buzzing) 685 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:32,992 Who gets first tattoo? 686 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,160 No, thank you. 687 00:21:34,193 --> 00:21:35,995 I'll take a shamrock on my knuckle. 688 00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,998 (Nick screaming) 689 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,000 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH