1 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,004 Damn it. How do you spell "boudoir"? 2 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:05,373 I'm so far off, I'm not getting the auto-correct. 3 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,575 So which girl are you texting now, the coffin-maker? 4 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,909 Oh, you're thinking about Jamie. 5 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,244 Nah, nah. She kinda disappeared 6 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,679 into her busy season, 7 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,481 so this is Rhonda. 8 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,216 Oh, is this the girl with the yogurt mouth? 9 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,185 That's Simi Valley Sue. 10 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,153 Rhonda is Willem Dafoe's assistant. 11 00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:21,255 No, she's n... Rhonda's the army reservist. 12 00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:22,890 Boy, you are on such a tear 13 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,158 with the ladies, Winston. 14 00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,993 (whistles) Your boy cleanin' up. 15 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,895 Not thinking about Aly. 16 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,897 And Rhonda, you know, she's cool, man. 17 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:31,399 I'm having the most fun with her. 18 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,366 She really keeps me on my toes. 19 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,735 And y'all know Winston love being on his toes. 20 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:35,936 Definitely, definitely. You know, actually, 21 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,371 she's poppin' by later. 22 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,006 You guys will get to meet her before the wedding. 23 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,408 Before the... she's coming to our wedding? Yes. 24 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,509 Winston, you're gonna bring this 25 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,776 flavor of the month to our wedding? 26 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:43,911 Well, I was... She's gonna be in wedding photos? 27 00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,045 Are you kidding me? 28 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,380 Oh, gather round, grandchildren. 29 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:47,881 Look at Uncle Winston, and this woman 30 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,218 who is not Willem Dafoe's assistant. 31 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,186 Well, I am excited to meet her. 32 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,421 Can you tell us some basics? 33 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,356 Her-her last name, her rank... 34 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,624 Yeah, I don't know any of that stuff. 35 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,459 I've only been on two dates with her, so... 36 00:00:58,492 --> 00:00:59,760 Two dates, how do we even know 37 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,229 that she's fighting for our army? 38 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,064 Hey! Are we looking at the owner of a new used car? 39 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,134 No. (scoffs) I wish. 40 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,736 Billy from Car County started playing misogynist bingo 41 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,304 with me as soon as I walked in the door. 42 00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:11,872 He called me "dollface." 43 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,774 Started pointing out all the room in the trunk 44 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,243 for my shopping bags. 45 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,545 Then, he explained four-wheel drive to me. 46 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,879 I don't need four-wheel drive explained. 47 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,581 It's very well named. 48 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,150 Like World Series of Poker champion, Chris Moneymaker. 49 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,651 Continue, though. 50 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,253 Okay, you know how you get back at this guy? 51 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,621 Huh. You do the entire thing online. 52 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,223 You set up an e-mail address, 53 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,259 but under a dude's name. 54 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,127 Yes. I love it. 55 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:34,295 Help! Help! 56 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,096 There's some lunatic after me! (yelling) 57 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:37,265 Oh, my God! Call 911! 58 00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,332 Call 911! 59 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:39,667 Please, somebody help me. 60 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,835 (everyone yelling at once) Winston! Winston, go...! 61 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,504 JESS: Oh, my God! Stay there! Wait! 62 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,805 Don't pull it out. 63 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,308 (laughing) 64 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,478 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 65 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,248 (both laughing) 66 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,417 You just got Rhonda'd. 67 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,418 (laughing) 68 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,686 Rhonda'd! 69 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,921 (Rhonda and Winston laughing) 70 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,157 What's your last name? 71 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,226 * 72 00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:11,499 I'm almost done with my "Jeff Day" e-mail to the dealer. 73 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,667 I've constructed a very rich back story for him. 74 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,469 Listen to this, listen to this. Okay. 75 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,638 He wrote this while on break from his job, 76 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,607 which is hanging telephone line. 77 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,442 He should have a desk job by now, 78 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,344 but the ground has always been trouble for him. 79 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,979 Yeah, the poles are safer. 80 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,782 And sometimes, at dusk, he can see his buddies 81 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,285 from Desert Storm dancing in the static. 82 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,953 That's beautiful. Yeah, it's okay. 83 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,289 So you need a dude pass before you send it off, right? 84 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,324 No, I don't need a dude pass. 85 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:37,491 No, no. Listen to this. 86 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:40,294 My wife is on my nuts. 87 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,962 I need two grand off the MSRP. 88 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,197 Go, Clips. 89 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,565 Go, Clips! Good, yeah. Hey, Nick, 90 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,334 if anyone's gonna give Jess a dude pass, 91 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,135 it's gonna be me. 92 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,203 A dude pass. 93 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,671 Not a pretty-boy pass. 94 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:54,308 Not a "I make my money from my mind" pass. 95 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:57,578 Not a "I look like the cute benchwarmer on an NBA team, 96 00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,313 "but I'm not good enough to play." 97 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,081 Are you done? After I take my dude pass, 98 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,650 why don't you take a short guy pass? 99 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,219 Why don't you take a snake voice pass? 100 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,887 Is it frustrating for you when you go to concerts 101 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,389 and you can't see the stage 'cause you're so short? 102 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,590 It can be. 103 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,925 It ca be! 104 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,161 I know we're in an awkward situation. 105 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,730 I used to date Nick, now I'm dating Sam, again. 106 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,899 I thought we were over all this. 107 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,268 And now every time I turn around, 108 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,035 you guys are in some kind of turf war. 109 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,272 Are we in a turf war? I didn't even notice, you punk. 110 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,773 This can't go on forever. 111 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,207 Let's just get our emotions out there. 112 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,509 Let's just express ourselves... 113 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,677 I'm good. I don't... 114 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,844 I got nothing. Yeah, I mean, everything's fine. 115 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:31,679 You feel good? Yeah, I feel great. 116 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,080 You feel good, I feel good. 117 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,081 Yeah, I got nothing to talk about, yeah. We're good, man. 118 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,683 I don't feel nothin' towards you man. 119 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,586 You can spit on the bottom of my shoe, dude. 120 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,688 (Winston laughing) 121 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,456 Let's... 122 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,758 SCHMIDT: This is what you want for our nuptials? 123 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,360 Shenanigans? 124 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,595 This is our wedding, Cece, 125 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,630 not "Ernest Goes to Our Wedding." 126 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,532 Can't we just revoke Winston's plus one? 127 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,066 Okay, look, I'm sure there's more to Rhonda 128 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,035 than just pranks, all right? 129 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,905 We owe it to Winston to get to know her. 130 00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,607 Well, let's start at the beginning. 131 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,709 Tell us about your childhood. Where'd you grow up? 132 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,211 Well, I grew up in Baltimore. Oh. 133 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,946 I don't like to talk about it 134 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,548 around new people, 135 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,249 but we were homeless. 136 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,218 Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry. 137 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,420 I had no idea. 138 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,487 It was tough. 139 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,556 We didn't have money 140 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,426 for food, clothes, toys. 141 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:21,329 My brother and I adopted a rat. 142 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:24,264 I remember, we called the rat Singular Wireless. 143 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,400 He was sweet. 144 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,669 Until he ate my brother's pinkie toe clean off. 145 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,771 (quietly): What? 146 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:31,972 He bit it like a baby carrot. 147 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,107 Just (snapping). 148 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,343 It woke me up. 149 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,511 That snap, that snap. 150 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:38,612 In the end, we laughed about it, 151 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,847 'cause what else can you do? 152 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,115 Just Singular being Singular. 153 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,116 Gosh darn it. 154 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:43,984 (sighing) 155 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,419 He ran away after a while-- 156 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,788 my brother, not the rat-- 157 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,824 he didn't get far, obviously, not with nine toes. 158 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:54,862 Listen, it wasn't a great childhood, 159 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,497 and I know that I come on strong, 160 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,832 but I guess, if I can 161 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,301 scare people with my pranks, 162 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:05,506 then I know I'm not the only one who's scared. 163 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,675 What a cruel, terrible world we live in. 164 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,678 I had no idea. 165 00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,145 I'm so, so, so, sorry. 166 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:15,315 (both guffawing) 167 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,650 You're stupid, Schmidt. 168 00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,386 And you're-you're stupid, too, Cece, 169 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,053 Stupid. 170 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,188 Okay, wait, so the en... the en... 171 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,956 the entire story is a lie? 172 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,626 Rhon. Da'd. 173 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,660 Pow-pow. 174 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,399 Need a little more of this. 175 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:33,000 Anybody else want some, uh, wine? 176 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,234 Oh, no, thanks. 177 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,069 I salted it. 178 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,638 (Rhonda guffaws) 179 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,339 You salted the wine? How is that even a prank? 180 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,909 You just told her that you salted it before she took a sip. 181 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,178 Unless of course that the prank is that there's no salt in it. 182 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:49,583 (spits) 183 00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:51,018 (guffawing) 184 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,586 Yes, there's salt. 185 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,254 There's most definitely salt in that. 186 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,856 (laughing) 187 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,725 This is delightful. 188 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:02,563 Mr. Day, I, too, love Sons of Anarchy. 189 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,997 You drive a pretty hard bargain. 190 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,733 I agree to your terms! 191 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:09,870 You just have to sign the papers in person. 192 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,573 I'm at the dealership for another hour. 193 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,175 Ah, I did not think this through. 194 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,444 (sighing, groaning) 195 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:19,079 Nick... I have hit a snag in my car buying. 196 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,014 I'm not surprised you came to me. 197 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,851 I heard you and, uh, Dr. Trap-Jaw last night, 198 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,719 and he climaxes like a woman. 199 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:26,954 That was me. 200 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,457 Then you sound like a woman when you climax. 201 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,358 I am a woman. What's your point? 202 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,526 We're still on your point. 203 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,894 I'm waiting for you to wrap it up. 204 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,195 My point is... 205 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,197 your car deal went south, and so you need Nick Miller 206 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,799 to twist some nips for you, yeah? 207 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,634 Nope. The nips have already been twisted. 208 00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:43,103 All I need right now is someone to pretend to be Jeff Day. 209 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,639 And I would ask Sam, but he's in a procedure all day. 210 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,975 He's de-webbing some kid's toes. 211 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,243 It sounds whimsical, but it's actually very serious. 212 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,411 Why would you go to him? 213 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,914 He cannot close this deal for you, Jess. 214 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,749 The deal has already been closed. 215 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,085 Right now, I just need, literally, any man. 216 00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,286 (chuckling) If I could wish 217 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,254 a mannequin to life, I would. 218 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,422 (both laughing) 219 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,124 Oh, Jessica. 220 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,094 You understand that fate fused that kid's toes together. 221 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,329 And Dr. Sam is the man for that job, 222 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,798 but I'm the man for this job. 223 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,099 So if you excuse me, 224 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,767 let me get my Julius Pepperwood disguise. 225 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,135 Wait, no, no, no. You don't understand. 226 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,770 I just need you to pretend to be Jeff Day. 227 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,772 Well, I need some sort of disguise. Absolutely not. 228 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,140 What about a mustache? That's a disguise. 229 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,309 Not if I grow one. We're in the car in ten minutes. 230 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,144 You gonna grow a mustache in ten minutes? 231 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,480 No man could do that. 232 00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,315 Scientifically impossible. 233 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,584 Hey, I guess science always wins, right? 234 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,520 See ya in the car. 235 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,154 JESS: All right, now remember, 236 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,089 Jeff Day is a lovable schnook, 237 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,825 who makes sausage in his spare time. 238 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,493 You work for the phone company, 239 00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:41,028 so you call the phones "units." 240 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,830 All right, what's my back story? 241 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,197 Units, that's good. Uh, you're my wife. 242 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,933 You spend all day making sausages, 243 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,001 and clucking with the other hens on the kitchen unit. 244 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:51,705 No, no. I'm a disgraced ice-skating sensation. 245 00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,507 I got ex-communicated from the sport 246 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,609 for protesting that nudie fabric. 247 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:56,877 And then I broke my butt. 248 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,111 Right, and which toe is webbed? 249 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,947 Ugh, Nick, that's real life. 250 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,181 Ugh. This is gonna be a disaster. 251 00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,349 Abort, abort. 252 00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,316 Dollface! 253 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,351 You're back! 254 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,053 Hi. I am, I am. 255 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,320 Um, I believe you've been e-mailing 256 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,556 with my husband Jeff. 257 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,823 Jeff Day. 258 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,693 Lover of meats, enemy of nonsense. 259 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,394 Put her there. (laughs) 260 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,263 Nice mustache. My guy. 261 00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:22,369 SCHMIDT: All right! (cell phone rings) 262 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:23,704 Oh, excuse me for a minute. 263 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,172 I have to go feed the meter. 264 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,575 Uh, excu... before you go, 265 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:28,909 can you please fill us in 266 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,078 on all active pranks at this table? 267 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,412 I think you found them all, okay? 268 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:33,413 Relax. 269 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:36,817 Oh, wait! Winston... 270 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,219 I put a watch battery in your huevos rancheros. 271 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,754 (Rhonda laughs) 272 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:41,755 In the huevos? 273 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,824 No, you did not. 274 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,993 Winston, she's been sitting down this whole time. 275 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,328 Does she have someone working with her in the kitchen? 276 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,030 Can you explain to me how that's funny? 277 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,365 'Cause you could have cracked a molar or choked to death. 278 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,500 (laughing) It's hilarious. 279 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,668 'Cause what if I choke on the battery? 280 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,836 You know what I mean? 281 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,370 Or if the battery breaks 282 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,672 open inside of me, you know? 283 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,374 and causes all kinds of... no? 284 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,377 What-what? You guys don't like her? 285 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,512 Mm... Uh... 286 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,513 And I mean, look, I get it. 287 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,681 She might not be the one, 288 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,382 but come on, at least we're having fun, right? 289 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,918 We gave her a chance, okay, Winston? 290 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,720 But I am scared to touch my food, 291 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:15,055 and I don't want to feel that way at our wedding. Yes. 292 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,189 Winston, it brings me no joy 293 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,424 to do this, whatsoever, 294 00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,859 but I'm revoking your plus one. 295 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,560 You gave me that plus one, 296 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,062 which means I can bring anyone. 297 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,197 Plus one means plus anyone. 298 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,699 For the Schmidt-Parikh wedding, 299 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,400 it's a plus the one. 300 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,469 You just had that one locked and loaded, didn't you? 301 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,238 Excuse me, sir? Here's your check. Oh, my God! 302 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,740 That's my face. Why is that my face? 303 00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,041 Ha-ha! 304 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,643 (laughing) WINSTON: No, no, no, no. 305 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,444 Save it. 306 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,246 It's gonna be wasted on these two. 307 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,414 Let's get out of here. 308 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,984 How did she get a mask of my face? 309 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,955 Oh... (scoffs) did they just stick us with the bill? 310 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,890 N... no. 311 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,292 She left, like, $300. 312 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,261 Who does this prank? 313 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,595 Thanks for meeting with us. 314 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,564 I don't know... what made me think 315 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,467 I could have possibly bought a car by myself. 316 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,102 You were right to get your hubby involved. 317 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,503 Now, Mr. Day, 318 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,773 your mind seemed pretty made up over e-mail. 319 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,075 Look, Billy, I wish, uh, we could get twin hogs, 320 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,810 but then the missus would stop giving me 321 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,511 that sweet potato pie. 322 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:12,846 You know Jeff Day, 323 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,015 I need my sweet potato pie every four hours. 324 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,316 Ain't that right, baby? 325 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,818 I married a hungry man. 326 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,319 BILLY: If you're open to other options, 327 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,988 we just got a consignment of vehicles 328 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,289 that we are looking to move 329 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,791 at rock bottom prices. 330 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,259 I had my heart set on that cute little car 331 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,828 that you showed me in that e-mail you wrote. 332 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,329 (chuckles) 333 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:32,800 Had a really big makeup mirror, and I sure was excited about it. 334 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,601 Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, buh-buh... 335 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,937 There's no harm in hearing what the catch of the day is, right? 336 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,305 No harm. Exactly. 337 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,340 Billy, Jeff needs to take his omega-3 pill. 338 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,009 Could you grab us a glass of water? Not a problem. 339 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,343 I got a bad ticker myself. 340 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,978 Not... uh... 341 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:47,815 I had him right where I wanted him. 342 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,182 He's trying to bait and switch us, 343 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,650 and you're gobbling it up like an old king 344 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,119 with a turkey leg. 345 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,187 You're leaving money on the table. 346 00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,789 I can smell it. 347 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,357 Watch. I'm gonna string him along, 348 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,059 and then I'm going to get you a better deal. 349 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,694 He thinks he's fishing for me. 350 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:04,231 Nah, I'm fishing for him, but fr the water. 351 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,498 You're in way over your head. 352 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,735 Right where a fish wants to be. 353 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,502 Here's your water, and... 354 00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:12,239 take as many mouse pads as you want. 355 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,241 Quit stalling me. Smart. 356 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,076 Tell me about the secret stash, Billy. 357 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,310 These vehicles are a lot bigger 358 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,545 than what you were e-mailing about. 359 00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,347 Well, a car can never be too big, 360 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,315 and a pot can never be too sweet. 361 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,483 (mouthing) 362 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,985 I hear ya, so I guess, 363 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,219 don't waste your time with anything smaller 364 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,988 than a two liter? Two liter? 365 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,857 I want a car, not a Mountain Dew. 366 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,726 (all laughing) 367 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,594 You want to send this girl out on to the road 368 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,563 with a little bulk, in case she gets hit, 369 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,099 or more likely, hits someone, am I right? (laughs) 370 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,501 While she's text messaging. They can't stop. 371 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,436 They're beautiful, but... (boinging) 372 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,738 (laughing): I like you. 373 00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,740 Honey, don't forget how much research you put in. 374 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,341 You don't want to throw that all away, 375 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,043 like I did with my skating career. 376 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,511 Jeff, you clearly know your way around an engine. 377 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,713 What are we talkin', 5.0? 378 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,883 You want the bird to sing in my underpants, 379 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:56,917 I'm gonna need double digits. 380 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,185 Oh, yeah, Jeff. 381 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,052 baby! 382 00:11:59,086 --> 00:11:59,953 Oh, yeah. 383 00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:00,954 Yeah! 384 00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:02,622 It's gonna sing. Boom. 385 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,357 (cell phone chiming) You get me. 386 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,927 (Billy and Nick laughing, making goofy noises) 387 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,962 Excuse me. I have to take this. 388 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,064 It's Oksana Baiul. Honey, get the car I want, 389 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,533 or the only pie you'll be eating is out of the garbage. 390 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,567 (laughs) 391 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,270 Hey, I thought you were de-webbing. 392 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,906 Well, it took less time than I thought. 393 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,407 Yeah, he only wanted his big toe free, 394 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,875 so he could wear flip-flops. 395 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:22,810 How's the new car? Ugh! 396 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,611 Don't make a thing out of it, 397 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:26,914 but I had to ask Nick to be Jeff Day. 398 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,215 You asked Nick for help, not me? 399 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,616 Well, you were in surgery, 400 00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:30,918 and he was the only person I could find, 401 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,619 but he's screwing it up so much 402 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,055 that I really wish I'd "Reverse-Tootsie'd." 403 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,490 Of course he's screwing up. He's a little human porkchop. 404 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,459 I'm on my way. Wait, don't come. Don't come. 405 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,727 I could be Jeff Day. 406 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,062 I just need to find a fake mustache. 407 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,563 What is it with you guys and mustaches? 408 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,533 Look, I have the situation un-under control. 409 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,639 Cutting Winston's plus one creates a real ripple effect. 410 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,274 Jason gets bumped from 14. 411 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,809 Ruthie gets bumped from 6, 412 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,078 landing Tyler right next to the bar, 413 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,813 which feels like tempting fate. 414 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,414 Yeah, you know what? The more I think about it, 415 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,017 we may have judged Rhonda a little too harshly. 416 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,318 Maybe you're right. You know what? 417 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,354 If Winston is happy, with Lady Kutcher, 418 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,089 we should support him. 419 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,690 What's the worst that can happen? 420 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,626 Maybe she'll put some cellophane over the toilet bowls. 421 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:16,363 Hopefully, my Uncle Randy doesn't get 422 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,465 (door opens, closes) fired up at the buffet. 423 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,101 Hey, guys. 424 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,803 We were just talking, and we're sorry about earlier. 425 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,305 Oh, listen, I've been thinking 426 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,140 about what you said, and maybe you're right. 427 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,709 I want the woman that I bring to your wedding to be special. 428 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,711 Special like... 429 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,981 my wife. 430 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:36,049 (laughing) 431 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:39,019 BOTH: We got married! 432 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:41,288 (laughing) 433 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,322 What?! 434 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,331 You got married? Well, look, you guys said 435 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,832 to be more serious, 436 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,668 and nothing's more serious than holy matrimony. 437 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,637 I mean, this is what you guys wanted, right? 438 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,172 No! No! This is insane. 439 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,508 And we were totally out of bounds in the first place. 440 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,076 We never should have interfered 441 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,344 in your love life. No. 442 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,645 Got you again! Boom! 443 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,813 That's what we needed to hear. 444 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,649 Huh? Wait. What? 445 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:10,650 What, so you... wait a minute. 446 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,751 You're not actually married? 447 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,086 (laughing) 448 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,221 Oh, thank... thank goodness. 449 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,422 It was... it was just a prank. 450 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,424 It was just a prank. Just a prank. 451 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:20,260 Okay. How did you guys get such a realistic marriage certificate? 452 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,594 Does it look realistic? 453 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:22,930 Oh, that's good. They did a good job on it, 454 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,397 'cause it's a hundred percent real. 455 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,199 We got you. 456 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,168 We found a same-day chapel, 457 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,702 and then we got married, 458 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:30,971 as a prank. 459 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:36,343 Wha-uh...? So-so you really did get married? 460 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,577 Y'all can't keep up. 461 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,913 How is really getting married, Winston, a prank? 462 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,581 The authenticity of the marriage 463 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,383 is what makes it a great prank. 464 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,018 Come on, guys. Yeah. 465 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,286 Says who? Hold on. wh... no, please. 466 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,121 Let them explain. Please explain. 467 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:49,856 We've already explained it. 468 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,526 A simple prank is a strong prank. 469 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,695 Uh-huh. Okay. 470 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,864 Let's just say... I don't know, 471 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,933 I told you that I cut my pinkie finger off, 472 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,435 and then I actually cut my pinkie finger off. 473 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:03,937 RHONDA: Mm. 474 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,438 Is that a prank? Is that a prank? 475 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:06,773 Well, I would not see that coming. 476 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,575 Okay. 477 00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,077 Different direction. 478 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,212 Let-let's say that I-I told you 479 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,613 that I invested all of my money 480 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:14,982 into boogie boards. 481 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:15,983 That's just a lie. 482 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,650 And then I took you 483 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,119 to my accountant's office, 484 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,487 and sitting behind the desk 485 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,123 was just a little crab in sunglasses. 486 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,824 Hmm, still sounds like a lie. 487 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:27,760 And then my real accountant came out 488 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,629 and showed you the books 489 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,564 and, in fact, I had invested 490 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,134 all of money in boogie boards. 491 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,768 That's definitely a prank. 492 00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:37,570 Yeah, that would get me. That's-that's a good one. 493 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,805 That's crazy, yeah. That's a good one. 494 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,073 RHONDA: That's a good one. I don't understand this. 495 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,175 Okay, so this is like a lifelong prank? 496 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:43,843 Oh, no, no, we're getting it annulled tomorrow. 497 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,612 Oh, right. RHONDA: Tonight's the honeymoon. 498 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,180 Listen, a little marriage advice-- 499 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,149 I would know because I'm married-- 500 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,952 a happy wife, uh, a happy life. 501 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,621 Have you heard the saying before? Mm. 502 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,824 I'm questioning everything right now. I swear, I swear... I swear... 503 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,292 He's about 5'10". 504 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,960 Maybe a mustache. 505 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,629 Sometimes he just sits in the bathroom buying music. 506 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:03,997 Do you think you could check in there? 507 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,098 Is that him in the RV? Oh, no. 508 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,799 He wouldn't be in an RV. 509 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,703 He is, he is. That's him in the RV. 510 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,305 You look natural behind the wheel of that baby. 511 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,773 I felt like myself for the first time in my life. 512 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,008 JESS: Hey, Jeff. 513 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,376 Where were you, 514 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,211 and why weren't you answering your unit? 515 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,346 Excuse me. Excu... yeah. 516 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,014 Good stuff, Billy. Thank you. 517 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,315 Ow. 518 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,516 Is this you doing your plan? 519 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,717 I don't know. 520 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,119 He keeps changing things up. 521 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,554 He's very good at his job. 522 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,922 Hey, how ya doin'? I'm Jeff Day. 523 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:31,691 My brother. 524 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,226 Geoff with a "G." 525 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,727 Yeah, I came as soon as I could. JESS: I don't know why. 526 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:37,130 I explicitly told you not to. 527 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,965 NICK: Yeah, why don't you take a hike? No one needs you here. 528 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,300 The reason she came to me first. 529 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,534 Sorry, Billy. 530 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:42,735 There's a little bit of bad blood 531 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,171 between my brother and my husband. 532 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,472 She may have come to you for help, 533 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,040 but you're clearly not getting the job done, 534 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,908 which is why she'll always come back for my help. 535 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,410 As soon as you get a helping of my help, 536 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,644 you're never the same. No one helps 537 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,480 me better than I help myself. 538 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,814 I told you if you'd just guide me. 539 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,316 Let's not get into that now. 540 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,051 I don't really know what you guys are talking about, 541 00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,352 but are you still buying the RV? 542 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,388 No! I'm not buying an RV. 543 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,056 Honey, he's giving us a great price. 544 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,225 Why don't you get those numbers? Don't get those numbers. 545 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,759 Why don't you go get them? Stay right there. 546 00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,329 Why do women always bring your drama in here? 547 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,364 Oh, you're blaming me? 548 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,233 Hah! All right. 549 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:16,869 I'd like to test-drive my car right now. 550 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,707 I showed you where all the mirrors are, right? 551 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:21,841 (engine revs) 552 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:22,842 (Sam and Nick screaming) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 553 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,011 (all yelling at once) 554 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,946 Now you guys are listening to me! 555 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,916 Get ready for the scariest test-drive of your lives. 556 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,118 * Simply the best... 557 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,388 I don't care if you're hot. 558 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,956 I'm always cold! 559 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,858 NICK: Slow down! SAM: Oh, man, this speed... 560 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:39,892 NICK: God! BILLY: Oh, God! 561 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,598 (screaming) 562 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:46,799 You're gonna give me what I want. 563 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:47,867 I can't give you a thing 564 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,269 until I talk to my manager. 565 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,703 You're talking to me. I know you need to 566 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,372 get rid of this 2017. 567 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,473 It's the end of the month. 568 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:54,741 I know you haven't made your nut. 569 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:55,875 Okay, I'll give you the original deal. 570 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,210 The one from the e-mail. 571 00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,378 You'll do better. 572 00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,579 I want Bluetooth. 573 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:02,282 (men screaming) 574 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,785 I want voice activation. 575 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,288 BILLY: Oh, God! No, no! SAM: No, no, no, no, no! No! 576 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,157 Whoa! Okay, okay... Okay-kay-kay... 577 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,293 I want to feel like I'm driving a spaceship. 578 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,061 Anything you want. NICK: That's impressive. 579 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,095 Oh, that was impressive. 580 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,764 You're really good at this, Jess. Really good. 581 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,232 Now for you two, jokers. 582 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,000 I'm sorry I went rogue, Jess. 583 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,235 I'm sorry, too. 584 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,303 You told me not to come, but I did. 585 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,504 Don't apologize to me. 586 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,805 Talk to each other. 587 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,641 Figure out a way to both be in my life. 588 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:31,077 Otherwise, I'm gonna turn the heat up to 90. 589 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,180 I'm gonna turn the radio to Pink. 590 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,349 And I am going to find a cobblestone street. 591 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,117 Oh, no, please don't. I gotta go to the bathroom. 592 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,286 Shut up, Billy! 593 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,853 You have a little boy's name. 594 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:41,821 You are so mean! 595 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:42,989 Now solve it. 596 00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,291 Deal with your emotions. 597 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,492 Jess, you don't get it. 598 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,360 The stuff between Sam and I is deep guy stuff. 599 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,661 It's untalkable. 600 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,663 That's right. I punched him twice. 601 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,131 And I stole his girlfriend. 602 00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:54,434 We're talking about adultery and violence. 603 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,769 That part of the male brain has not been civilized. 604 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,705 So you're just gonna feud forever? 605 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,940 I'll teach my sons to hate his sons 606 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,709 and I expect the same from him. 607 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,677 You got it. Thank you. 608 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:05,812 If you insist on hating each other, 609 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,013 do it while I'm not around. 610 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,681 The moment I walk in the room, 611 00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,016 I want some convincing 612 00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:12,018 dude on dude friendship stuff. 613 00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,520 I want high-fives. 614 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,521 I want golf tips. 615 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,489 When a hot waitress walks by, 616 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:17,990 I want to see a real nudge-nudge. 617 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,058 Hubba, hubba. 618 00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,193 BILLY: Keep your hands on the wheel! 619 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,528 NICK: Easy! Jess! 620 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,762 (men clamoring) 621 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,233 I can do it if he can. 622 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:27,867 I can do it even if he can't do it. 623 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,237 (laughs) 624 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,804 Are you wearing a fake mustache? 625 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,706 Yeah. 626 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,642 Thanks for coming to my annulment, guys. 627 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,544 Yeah, well, we should get to know your ex-wife. 628 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,546 Yeah, like, did she make that mask of my face, 629 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,681 or does she have a mask guy? 630 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,350 Rhonda's in here. 631 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,584 Is it weird that I'm a little nervous? 632 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,253 Yes. Yeah. 633 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,226 Rhonda. 634 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:54,427 Will you make me the most 635 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,563 hilarious man in the world by being my ex... 636 00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:57,830 (all screaming) 637 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,332 Come on! Rhonda's a boy! Rhonda's a boy! 638 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,500 You ain't Rhonda. 639 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,101 Winston Bishop? Y-y-yes. 640 00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,703 I'm supposed to play you this. 641 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:06,172 Oh, here we go. 642 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,609 Winston, I think we should postpone our annulment. 643 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:14,281 Until you put the pieces of your mind back together. 644 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,848 (laughing, imitates shooting gun) 645 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,385 I wish I could see your face right now. 646 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,719 But I can't, 647 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,220 because I got called up for duty. 648 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,090 Bye-bye, hubby. 649 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,961 (nervous laugh) That's... 650 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,530 Wait, so we're still married. 651 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,798 Yeah. 652 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,367 But then how... but then how you gon... 653 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:35,735 we were... we were co-pranksters. 654 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,404 How you gonna prank your co-prankster? 655 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:40,873 Hmm... I get it. 656 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,643 I finally get the prank now, man. 657 00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,745 You got Rhonda'd. 658 00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:47,414 I made Billy my baby. 659 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,482 I made that little bitch a bottle, right guys? 660 00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,418 You did a great job, honey. You did awesome. 661 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,752 What a terrific hybrid vehicle. 662 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,120 I'm glad that the previous owner 663 00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:56,656 scraped off all the "Co-exist" bumper stickers. 664 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:57,824 So I have no options. 665 00:20:57,857 --> 00:20:59,058 I have no options. Okay, well... 666 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,793 Sleep with both eyes open, you idiot. 667 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,429 It's one eye, you idiot. 668 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:04,797 Cut your chance in half, you idiot. Idiot. 669 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,633 Hey, don't bill me for this. 670 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,769 Sorry, that was my divorce lawyer. What?! 671 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,638 Yeah, it's been a day. So I got married. 672 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,673 Then my wife was shipped overseas. 673 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:14,907 And I remain married. 674 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,744 What? Who? When? How? What? 675 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,912 Yeah, he married Rhonda. As a prank. 676 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,281 Wait, you're really married, Winston? 677 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:24,451 I-I'm not sure I understand the prank. 678 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:26,285 The prank is, is that Winston's on the hook 679 00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:27,754 to send care packages to Germany 680 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,021 for the next six months. 681 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,423 Rhonda'd. 682 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,091 Guys, let's just celebrate 683 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,860 how hilarious my situation is, 684 00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,428 and in a very real way, 685 00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,296 don't tell my mama. 686 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:40,333 * You're simply the best! 687 00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,335 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH