1 00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:03,704 Okay, Schmidt, you ready for your feedback for the week? 2 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,573 Yes. Uh, let me just pull up my performance grid. 3 00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:07,508 First off, thanks for keeping sex quick. 4 00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,542 You were like a dog with an ice cream cone, 5 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,079 and I loved it, but screaming 6 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:13,980 "that's how Schmidty do" was not ideal. 7 00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:16,649 Even though that's how Sch-Schmidty did? 8 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,486 Well, Schmidty did, and he did it good, 9 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,887 but mommy doesn't want to hear 10 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,554 how Schmidty's doing. Note... note taken. 11 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,257 Okay. Great. Good. Note taken. 12 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:27,428 I feel like I'm watching a porn set in an HR department. 13 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,929 You know, Fawn is teaching me how to be the most effective 14 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,832 and successful man and lover I possibly can be. 15 00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:33,667 Really? I thought you were fine before. 16 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,103 When you two were together? Which time? 17 00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:36,770 The... the first time or the third time? 18 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:37,737 Because... 'cause you two 19 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,073 were very off-and-on. 20 00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,609 In a... in a very confusing way. 21 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,911 (laughs) I've had sex with him so many times. 22 00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:46,713 We have a fun thing together, don't we? 23 00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,615 Super fun, yeah. I really enjoy it. 24 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,518 What is her... what is it, Cecil? 25 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:51,784 What is your name? 26 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,420 You'll learn it. Don't worry. 27 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,122 Fawn's helping me see that I haven't reached 28 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,057 my full potential yet. Well, obviously, none of you have. 29 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,526 No, I have. I'm a cop. 30 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,228 And, as of yesterday, my mom no longer buys 31 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,363 my plane tickets, so... (clicks tongue) 32 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,132 You need a ten-year plan. 33 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,234 Are you in a relationship that's headed towards marriage? 34 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,537 I am not currently, but I did go on a date 35 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,204 with somebody named Charles last month. 36 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:14,040 She was a woman, but she was named after her uncle. 37 00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:15,275 Well, Winston has no game. 38 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,076 Dude took a girl to a cement plant. 39 00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,778 To see how rocks were made. 40 00:01:18,811 --> 00:01:20,281 That's not where rocks are made. 41 00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:22,582 And she loved it, then she abruptly moved away. 42 00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:24,418 (groans) 43 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:27,287 Work sucked, my friends. 44 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,257 (nasally voice): Hear ye, hear ye. 45 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,093 Milady. 46 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:38,265 I dub you Sir Winston of the Roll of Egg. 47 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,268 (nasally): Ah, yes. Yes. 48 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,503 Who are you in this story? 49 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,638 I'm the jester. 50 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,441 I'm not gonna eat here anymore. 51 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,450 You'd think that the school board would want 52 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,850 to give kids computers, but no, 53 00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,587 they just want to get reelected 54 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,290 so they can keep dressing like Realtors from the 1980s. 55 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:04,123 Solid municipal burn, Jessica. 56 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,293 Fawn... Councilwoman. 57 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,194 Councilwoman-- do you think 58 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,663 you could help me get some traction with these people? 59 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,799 Oh, funnily enough, I have a charity event tomorrow 60 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,600 with other high-powered L.A. women. 61 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,170 I'll put a word in with Yowtz. Martha Yowtz? 62 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,171 Yeah. The lioness of Los Angeles education? 63 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,973 Yes. The straw that stirs the school board's drink? 64 00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:23,110 That's right. That is a woman I'd like to get to know. 65 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,978 Is there any way I could come with you to this event? 66 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:28,147 Ah, you know, it's really a networking thing. 67 00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:29,983 Well, that's perfect, 'cause I'd love to network her. 68 00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,651 With her. It's "with..." You network with her. 69 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:32,885 Yeah, it's "network with her," 70 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,153 and you don't really strike me 71 00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,622 as the "networking" type. 72 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,490 You're more of a "follow a butterfly around 73 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,227 for a day" kind of gal. 74 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:42,162 Oh, sister, I'm a middle-school vice principal. 75 00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:45,199 You think I got this job without knowing how to network? 76 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,400 Most likely. Yes. 77 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,134 I got an office with a door, bub. 78 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,969 Pencil me in. I'll yak with Yowtz. 79 00:02:50,002 --> 00:02:51,504 The press will be there, 80 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:54,841 and I could use a photo with an educator, so... okay. 81 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,210 Oh, great. Oh. Hey. 82 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,246 Do you still need me for the photo op? 83 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,013 I will need you there, actually. 84 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,716 I'm trying to become more accessible on social media. 85 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,586 Speaking of which, is there some way you can 86 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:08,722 make your skin look less white in photos? 87 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,157 People are saying that you're haunting me. 88 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,560 I can do that. Absolutely. 100%. 89 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:14,193 Let me just make a note. Wonderful. 90 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,530 And, Jess, the event tomorrow is at a golf course. 91 00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:17,897 Do you golf? 92 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:21,200 Does a bear eat with his hands? (chuckles) 93 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,402 I don't know. 94 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,942 I'll be there. Great. 95 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:33,247 So I say to her, "Water? I barely even know you." 96 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,748 Stop talking to me like we're in the middle of a conversation. 97 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,350 We just sat down. All right. 98 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,387 I hate when you do that. Okay. 99 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,788 Winston. 100 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:44,024 That is a beautiful girl right there. Wow. 101 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,925 Just say something to her. Yeah, just say something to her. 102 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,295 Shawty, what that thang do? 103 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,028 No. 104 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,864 What was that? WINSTON: Dude, I think it's 105 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,900 a nervous tic that stems from my lack of self-confidence. 106 00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,801 We got to help. I can't watch this. 107 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,103 Excuse me, miss? Hi. 108 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,239 Coach, stop. Um, this is my buddy, Winston. 109 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:02,310 Um... I don't know what he's doing with his mouth. 110 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,110 That's not his normal smile at all. 111 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,780 I'm gonna fix that. If I could just... 112 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,215 Both sides-- even it out. 113 00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:09,717 Better. 114 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,818 I think he likes you. Oh, yeah? 115 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,621 Just go talk to her. You got it. I don't... 116 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,955 Okay, okay, I'm going. You got it. You got it. He's coming. 117 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,257 He's excited to talk to you. Hey... My friends. 118 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,360 (laughter) 119 00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,562 Hello. 120 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,096 I'm Winston Bishop. 121 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,567 Winston Bishop. KC. 122 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,937 KC! Just be like, "Yo, KC, where JoJo at?" 123 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:30,903 (laughs) 124 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,305 In rehab, probably. 125 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,608 He's... he was on drugs. Yeah. 126 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,310 WINSTON: Sorry. Um... 127 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:38,411 I don't know what to say right now. 128 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,247 Uh, kind of blowing this, huh? 129 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,949 Uh... 130 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,284 Um, I think you're very beautiful, KC, 131 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:48,622 and I would like to see you again soon... 132 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:52,091 like, later today for lunch? 133 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,161 I'd love to. 134 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:56,028 Really? 135 00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:57,365 Here. Oh. 136 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,031 I'm gonna put in my number... 137 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:02,670 or come with me to this thing in the park I'm going to now 138 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,103 and we can grab something after. 139 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,273 You know, I saw Nick Nolte in the park once. 140 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:08,875 And I was like, "Yo, Nick Nolte, what you doing in the park?" 141 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,944 And he was just like, "I'm just hanging out." 142 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,713 Yeah, so I thought that was notable. 143 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,716 I'm going to a rally to protest the police. 144 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,851 Do you want to come? 145 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,387 Or we could just do lunch. 146 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,221 Let's do lunch. Okay. 147 00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:24,524 Yeah. Nice to... nice to meet you, KC. 148 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:32,966 CECE: Fawn is none of my business, 149 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,668 and Schmidt seems to really like her, 150 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,336 so whatever happens, I'm just not getting involved. 151 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,872 Then why are you on your way to hang out with him? 152 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,641 What are you doing? He said to come over. 153 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,643 He said it was an emergency. 154 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,343 What if he does something sexy? 155 00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:45,413 That's like Gollum 156 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,747 hanging out with the One Ring. 157 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,081 It'll be fine. 158 00:05:49,281 --> 00:05:50,983 Ooh. Hey, Cece, I'm glad you're here. 159 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,153 I need you to put bronzer all over my body. 160 00:05:53,185 --> 00:05:56,088 None of the guys are here, and they also refused to do it. 161 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,558 Um, all over. I know you're giving me a look, 162 00:05:58,591 --> 00:05:59,927 but, really, like, all over. 163 00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:01,261 All the cracks, the crevices. 164 00:06:01,293 --> 00:06:03,362 The engine, the caboose, everything. 165 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,598 Oh, okay. 166 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,606 Gripped it and ripped it. 167 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:14,908 You da man. 168 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,610 No, say, "Fawn's the man." 169 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,211 Fawn's the man. Fawn's the man. 170 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,913 Oh, hey, there's Yowtz. 171 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,682 Woman's got more connections than a flight 172 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,050 from Burbank to Sri Lanka. 173 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:24,418 Well, then, it's a good thing 174 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,853 I bought the airport neck pillow 175 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,088 in the gift shop, because... (chuckles) 176 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,689 You know what that means. 177 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,559 I got this. Okay. 178 00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,192 How the hell are you? 179 00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:34,528 Jessica Day. 180 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,163 I need 20 computers for my school. 181 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:38,531 Just met you, but noted. 182 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,199 You're up. 183 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,970 Thanks. 184 00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:44,471 What? Oh. 185 00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,338 You walk towards the... 186 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,382 Whoops. 187 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,117 Oh, dear Lord. 188 00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:01,754 Why are we putting this on your body? 189 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,389 Aren't you gonna be wearing a shirt? 190 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,591 Well, you know, Fawn wants me 191 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:05,826 to be prepared for all scenarios. 192 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:07,160 What if somebody gives birth out there 193 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,629 and I have to swaddle the baby in my polo? 194 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,329 (wry chuckle) Yeah. 195 00:07:10,362 --> 00:07:12,331 I've never been under this kind of scrutiny before. 196 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,166 I'm having my teeth shaved by 197 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,802 a 25th of an inch. 198 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,237 Fawn thinks that I have the teeth of an immigrant. 199 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,507 She says every time she looks at me, 200 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,307 all she can see is Fievel Mouskewitz 201 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:24,110 singing "There Are No Cats in America." 202 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,678 Those little... 203 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,548 those little mice Jews. 204 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:29,783 I mean, what do you think, Cece? 205 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,184 You... you like Fawn, right? 206 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,853 Yeah, I mean, as-as long as you're happy. 207 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,156 There you go. What the hell? 208 00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:38,290 What? 209 00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,761 Why am I sparkly? 210 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:41,894 Sparkly? 211 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,264 You bought the bronzer with glitter in it. 212 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,466 Cece, please, you gotta help me, Ce... 213 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,034 Fawn's gonna kill me! 214 00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,769 Okay, just don't get too expressive. You'll crease! 215 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,605 So stupid! I feel like I'm trying to get into 216 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,173 an 18-and-under club in Tucson! 217 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,807 So, yeah, at the rally, there was this kid 218 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:55,875 I know from the youth center 219 00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:56,976 who was arrested last week 220 00:07:57,009 --> 00:07:58,678 because he "fit a description." 221 00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:01,814 I mean, he's 14-- he doesn't even fit into his jeans. 222 00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:02,850 (uncomfortable laughter) 223 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,517 Yeah. Anyways... 224 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,987 enough about me. Let's, uh, talk about you. 225 00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,622 What do you do? 226 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:09,856 What do I do? 227 00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:10,990 Um... okay. 228 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,293 Well... what do I do? 229 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,627 Um... 230 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,995 Okay, the truth is... 231 00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:17,831 Hey, man. 232 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,667 You know them? 233 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,569 Oh, not personally, no. 234 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,336 Hey, what's up, Bishop? 235 00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:25,906 Oh, yeah, I do know them. 236 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,507 We went to school together. 237 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:28,875 See you at work, bud. 238 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,076 More importantly... 239 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,911 we work together. 240 00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:33,080 You're a cop? 241 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,181 Me? (laughs) 242 00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:35,481 A cop? No! 243 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:36,917 No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't... 244 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,918 No, no, no. Get that out of your head. 245 00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,087 Uh, what I do is I'm a... 246 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,157 male stripper. A stripper? 247 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,725 That's why they were wearing the uniforms. 248 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,562 Yeah, I see where you... why you would think that. No. 249 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:51,431 A surprising amount of day work for a stripper. 250 00:08:51,463 --> 00:08:53,701 You know, we just go in there, we do our routine 251 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,268 while they eat their lunch salads. 252 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,403 Wow. (laughs) 253 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,605 You just pray nobody orders soup. 254 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,374 Lost a lot of good men to soup. 255 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,943 (short laugh) It's hard to gauge temperature 256 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:07,581 when you're just... dipping and running. 257 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,783 You'd be surprised what you could replace a ladle with. 258 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,524 Nice day. Beautiful. 259 00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:21,629 What happened to the top of my hat? 260 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,863 You take it? 261 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,631 (laughs) A little, uh... 262 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:25,966 little visor humor. 263 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,366 Give me back my hat! 264 00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:28,567 I'm kidding. (chuckles) 265 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,269 I wasn't gonna hit you. 266 00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:31,538 I'm just joshing. 267 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,307 Just Joshua, Joshua, joshing... 268 00:09:36,408 --> 00:09:38,278 Do you ladies want to join my network? 269 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,312 Uh, you ladies can just go ahead and play through. Yeah. 270 00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:42,448 Yeah. I'll catch up with you later. 271 00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:46,052 Uh, so, how-how do you feel that the networking is going? 272 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,153 Pretty good. 273 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,422 I would call it, like, a solid B. 274 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,758 It's a cruise ship disaster. 275 00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,625 Look, Jess, if you want those computers, 276 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,927 we have a lot of work to do and not a lot of time to do it. 277 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,062 Shake my hand. 278 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,230 Gross. 279 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,631 What is your name? 280 00:09:58,665 --> 00:09:59,832 Jess? 281 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,134 You have the confidence of a child 282 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,635 that was raised in a basement. 283 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,937 Say it with pride, and include your job title 284 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:06,639 like it's the second half of your name. 285 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:09,009 Like this-- Fawn Moscato, City Council. 286 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,342 Jessica Day, Vice Principal! 287 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,144 How the heck are you? 288 00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,947 DAWN: Lighten it up with a quick joke whenever possible. 289 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,315 Nice shoes. 290 00:10:15,347 --> 00:10:16,950 Look like you chopped off Big Bird's feet, 291 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,985 you murderer. (laughs) 292 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,788 FAWN: And try not to make jokes about murdering 293 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,755 Sesame Street puppets if you can. 294 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,591 JESS: Good note. FAWN: Now, tell me-- 295 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,424 are you wearing underwear? 296 00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:27,527 Oh, yeah. Big-time. 297 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:29,929 Lose them. I never wear underwear 298 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,463 in networking scenarios. 299 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,533 Gives you a secret; an edge. 300 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:34,868 Besides, I firmly believe 301 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:37,336 that power emanates from the vagina. 302 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,172 So, why block it? 303 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:42,009 It's not the only thing that emanates. 304 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,010 What does that mean? 305 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,979 (quietly): Other stuff. 306 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,315 So I said, "Tammy, are we playing golf, 307 00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:49,850 or are we making sand castles?" 308 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,818 (laughter) 309 00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,653 Tammy is the worst. 310 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,056 She told my kid to shut up once. I nearly punched her. 311 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,225 I don't want to start talking business while we still 312 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,960 have a whole tournament to play, but... 313 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,361 I'd love to connect about your ideas in the clubhouse. 314 00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:04,163 Let's meet up there when we're all done. 315 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,732 Great. I'll see you in there, Marty. 316 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,234 May I call you Marty? 317 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,368 Oh, I'd prefer it. 318 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,635 (laughs) 319 00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:11,038 The clubhouse? 320 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,639 That is where you close the deal. 321 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,240 You are in, my friend. 322 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,043 Now, let's finish up this game. 323 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,110 No problem. 324 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,195 Write a six and let's go. They should start putting 325 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:36,929 GPS in golf balls, am I right? 326 00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:39,399 We already got lapped by Sue Kim 327 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,568 from the Korean Women's League, and she's 100. 328 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:45,773 Jess, she is literally 100 years old. 329 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:49,442 And I'm... I'll tell you what-- not a young 100. 330 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:51,411 Martha doesn't strike me as the type of person 331 00:11:51,443 --> 00:11:53,245 who gives computers to cheaters. 332 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:57,216 You really don't understand how networking works. 333 00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,187 The computers are just the thing you talk about 334 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,089 when you're really talking about 335 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:04,456 how to help each other become more powerful. 336 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,759 Just like the money for this golf thing-- it doesn't 337 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,962 go to charity. It just pays for the event where we network. 338 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,630 Isn't that cool? 339 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,400 Yay, America! 340 00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:17,937 Were the computers ever really on the table? 341 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,572 You're still talking about the computers? 342 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,875 Okay. Uh, no. No. No money for computers. 343 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,977 I should've never listened to you. I also should have 344 00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:27,447 never removed my underwear, because now it's drafty 345 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,649 and I feel vulnerable to wildlife. 346 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,150 Are your underwear sticking out of your pocket? 347 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,451 Are those boys' underwear? 348 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,955 They're unisex. None of your business. 349 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,289 Look, will you forget the ball? Or none of these women 350 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,426 are ever going to invite you to play golf again. 351 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,495 Well, I don't want to play golf with these women again. 352 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,264 I don't want any part of this. 353 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,565 If I can't have the computers, 354 00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:47,500 I will... I will stay here 355 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,436 and I will play a clean game of golf. 356 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,639 Now, if you'll excuse me, Fawn, I need to go find my ball. 357 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,341 Like an honest person. 358 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,508 Okay. 359 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,344 Oh, look-- it's a baby bird. 360 00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:58,745 No, it's a dead baby bird. 361 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,681 I need to move on before I get emotional. 362 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,450 Can't believe I didn't tell her I was a cop. 363 00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:06,619 With everything that's been going on, I just... 364 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,254 I feel like she wouldn't respect me. 365 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,024 You want to know what I think? No, Nick, I don't. 366 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,860 This is something you can't understand. 367 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,128 Because I'm not black? Uh... 368 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,663 What, because I don't work for NASA, I can't fix a rocket ship? 369 00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,631 If you don't work at NASA, they're not gonna 370 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,969 just let you walk off the street and fix a rocket ship. 371 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,004 You're missing my point. Besides, you lost your right to talk to me 372 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,038 about race during the O.J. trial. 373 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,539 ...is in the white Bronco... 374 00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,676 Why does it have to be a "white" Bronco? 375 00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:32,479 Why not just a Bronco? 376 00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:34,014 I can talk to you about this. 377 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,548 I mean, we grew up together. 378 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:38,551 We went to the same schools, we watched the same shows, 379 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,052 we listened to the same records. 380 00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,554 Your mother got a mouth on the back of her neck, 381 00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:46,525 and bitch chew like this. (grunts, laughs) 382 00:13:46,558 --> 00:13:48,794 Hercules. 383 00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,898 Was that your Eddie Murphy? That's Eddie Murphy. 384 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,033 That was so bad, it wasn't even offensive. 385 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,201 I said "Hercules," and everyone 386 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,467 associates that with Eddie Murphy. 387 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,735 Whenever you do your impressions, 388 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:58,138 it makes me super uncomfortable. 389 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,572 Fine. You know what? You want to do this? 390 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,408 You and me are gonna get weird about race? 391 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,009 Do your Seinfeld. Come... Nick, that's not... 392 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,412 Do your Seinfeld. What's the deal with bananas? 393 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,313 I mean, they got orange juice, 394 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,517 you got apple juice, where's the banana juice? 395 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,886 (laughs): I never thought of that. 396 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,221 Ah, boy. 397 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:17,823 'Cause you got orange juice, you... 398 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:21,427 I love you, but you're white, I'm black. 399 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,062 I understand where she's coming from. 400 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,565 When I was a kid, we used to run from the police. 401 00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:28,067 Even if we did nothing wrong, it was just out of habit. 402 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,003 Why haven't you ever told me? 403 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:32,672 COACH: 'Cause you'll never get it. 404 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,908 How long have you been standing there? 405 00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:36,943 Uh, right around, "Your mama got a mouth on the back 406 00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,711 of her neck, and the bitch chew like this." 407 00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,212 Now, that's Eddie! I don't see the difference. 408 00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,014 (laughs): Hercules! Hercules! Hercules! 409 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,515 He's doing the laugh! That's what I was doing. 410 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,684 (imitating Eddie Murphy's laugh) 411 00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:47,086 Stop, Nick. 412 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,788 I honestly don't see the difference. 413 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,356 As the only other black man in this loft, 414 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,557 I feel like I should weigh in. 415 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:52,524 This issue 416 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,860 really hits home with me, 417 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,562 and I feel like I have a lot of thoughts 418 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,364 and ideas that I need to get off my chest. 419 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,898 Thank you, Coach. But I'm hungry. 420 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,466 Man. I skipped breakfast, and lunch 421 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,634 is gonna be dumb as hell. 422 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,470 * Race talk snacks 423 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,772 * Race talk snacks, gotta get me * 424 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:07,307 * Some race talk snacks 425 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,376 * Gonna be super uncomfortable! * 426 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,778 So, KC... Shh... 427 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:12,980 I just feel like... Can't-can't weigh in. 428 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,714 I know, but I... Can't weigh in. 429 00:15:14,746 --> 00:15:16,716 I do have something I want to say that's not a race... 430 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,150 Shh, don't. 431 00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,318 I know what I'm gonna do. 432 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,587 I'm gonna tell her the truth. 433 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,490 I'm a good guy; that's all that matters. 434 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,625 That's what I was gonna say. I want to make this... No, no, no. 435 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:26,926 Shut it down, Nick. 436 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,327 Your mother got a mouth 437 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,397 on the back of her neck, and she chews like this. 438 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,864 Murphy, Murphy, Murphy. 439 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:35,001 So the good news is you can't see 440 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,436 the glitter anymore. Great. 441 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,669 Well, what's the bad news? 442 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,072 You look like, 443 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,807 um... can't exactly put my finger on it. 444 00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,181 I look like the dead body the police pull out of a lake. 445 00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,250 That's how you describe it; you look dead. 446 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,584 I don't want to look like a dead boy. 447 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,918 I want to look like a living boy. 448 00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:54,187 Why are you calling yourself a boy? 449 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,422 Because I'm freaking out! 450 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,456 (phone chiming) Freaking... 451 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:57,657 Freaking out. Oh, no. 452 00:15:58,658 --> 00:15:59,993 It's-it's Fawn. 453 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,761 (sighs) 454 00:16:02,794 --> 00:16:04,764 Hey, Faw... hey, Fawn. 455 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:09,535 What the Jewish God did you do? 456 00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:10,870 In an attempt to look less ghost-like, 457 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,438 I put on some bronzer, but the bronzer 458 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,806 had glitter in it, and now... 459 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,442 You look like a wood carving of yourself. 460 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,677 The press is here. 461 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:21,780 And single women have proven to be less appealing to voters. 462 00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,850 Fix it and get here now. 463 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,318 I am Fawn Moscato, and I will not miss a photo opportunity! 464 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:27,320 Faw... Oh. 465 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:28,754 Fawn? 466 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:30,490 How about a fake beard? 467 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:31,557 Get some double-sided tape, 468 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,025 we can shave Winston's cat... 469 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,326 Okay, you know what, enough. 470 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,662 I cannot just stand here and watch Fawn 471 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,129 treat you like she's your pageant mom. 472 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,165 She needs to accept you exactly how you are, 473 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,134 or you need to find somebody that will. 474 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:44,003 'Cause I think you are fine as is. 475 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,543 Damn it. 476 00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:52,245 You know what, you're right. I'm gonna go talk to her. 477 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,980 Can you drive though? I want to fix my makeup in the car. 478 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,849 For me, not for her. 479 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,018 I don't want to scare anybody. Ugh. 480 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,354 I think I'm drunk from the face fumes. 481 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,393 I've never seen so many strokes taken 482 00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:08,361 on a single hole in all of my life. 483 00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:10,262 This has got to be some kind of record. 484 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,530 Do you care to comment? 485 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,834 Hey! 486 00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:16,769 Not bad! Look at her go! 487 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,805 The hole's behind you. 488 00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:22,142 Thanks, Marty. 489 00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,380 172! 490 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:30,217 Par was five. I know, Marty. 491 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,718 You're the worst golfer I've ever seen. 492 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,720 Look, I don't care if I look stupid. 493 00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:35,387 I didn't come here to climb the ladder. 494 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,923 The only reason why I came here 495 00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:39,125 was to get computers for my students. 496 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:42,561 And that's the only reason why I came: for the school. 497 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:43,930 I respect that. 498 00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:45,698 I'll get you those computers. 499 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,534 Really?! Yes, I will. 500 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,903 In 2018, when the district is fiscally solvent. 501 00:17:50,936 --> 00:17:53,472 I'll... take that as a victory. 502 00:17:57,109 --> 00:18:00,046 I support Vice Principal Day. 503 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:01,780 It is education 504 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,116 that will bring water back to this city 505 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:06,553 and will rebuild the middle class... 506 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,753 Don't let me back down. 507 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,221 Don't worry, I will not. 508 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,157 You look... so crazy right now. 509 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,125 You look like a doll boy. A doll man. 510 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,760 I'm a d... I'm a doll man. 511 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,729 A doll man who's about to get his dignity back. 512 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,896 Let's beat China! 513 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,066 I'm Fawn Moscato! (chuckles) 514 00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:21,433 Oh! 515 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,503 (crowd cheers) Oh. 516 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,138 (laughs): I can't believe it. 517 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,142 Now, this ball is a symbol... 518 00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:30,108 (crowd gasps) 519 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,144 ...of the unity... 520 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,778 MAN: Wow! 521 00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:34,480 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! 522 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,449 Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn, Fawn. 523 00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:39,018 What? What's going on? You're not wearing any, uh... 524 00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:41,019 Each one's like a snowflake. 525 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:49,095 What do you mean there's a meme? 526 00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:50,697 It speaks? 527 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,999 Well, what does it say? 528 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:55,835 Oh, well, that is just crass. 529 00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:58,938 Yes, I know I wanted a more accessible Web pr... 530 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,873 Will you stop laughing, Lou? 531 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:02,141 You're a father! 532 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,411 You're my father! 533 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,212 (gasps) 534 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,446 Oh, no, no, it's... 535 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,015 it's carpet cleaner. 536 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,782 You know, I thought I'd take it right down to the base. 537 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,884 I'll probably have to regrow some skin, but it's all right. 538 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,686 It's okay, Schmidt. 539 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,289 Look, I understand if you want to break up with me. 540 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,724 I'm a laughingstock, 541 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,461 and you shouldn't be associated with my brand. 542 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,829 Which is tainted. 543 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,365 An unfortunate choice of words. 544 00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:29,000 So, what was it you wanted to say to me? 545 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:33,172 Fawn, I don't want to break up with you. 546 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:36,107 I like you just the way that you are. 547 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:42,348 No offense, but you're terrifying to look at, 548 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,550 and you smell like a chemical fire. 549 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,685 Taint that the truth? 550 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,921 Yeah. Did you see what I did there? 551 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,223 I just...'Cause you did it, then I... It was too... too soon. It's too soon. 552 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,559 I wanted you to feel good about when you said it though. Okay. 553 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,199 KC? 554 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,537 So... 555 00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:08,441 um... this is the real me. 556 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:12,412 I'm proud of what I do, I really am. 557 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:14,280 I work with a lot of great people, 558 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,348 and I want to be one of them. 559 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,116 Plus, if there are ever Ghostbusters, 560 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,619 I know they're gonna recruit from law enforcement first. 561 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,390 I know you're mad at me. 562 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:26,792 I just came to say that. 563 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:29,296 I'm not mad that you're a cop. 564 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,696 I'm mad that you lied. 565 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,531 Well, tell you what, 566 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:36,035 uh, is there any way I could take you out again 567 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:38,438 and, you know, uh, be so honest with you 568 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,539 that it scares the hell out of you? 569 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,343 I don't know. 570 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,346 That uniform is kind of distracting, isn't it? 571 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:51,182 Maybe you should... take it off. 572 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:56,823 (laughs) 573 00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:58,557 You lied and said you were a stripper; 574 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,393 it seems like the fair thing to do. 575 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,661 (dance music playing) 576 00:21:01,693 --> 00:21:03,095 Just in front of all these people? 577 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:04,830 In front of your colleagues? (man whoops) 578 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,499 Oh, okay. I hear some "whoos!" 579 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:07,834 (whoops) 580 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:09,501 You ain't got no Ginuwine or nothing? 581 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:12,305 Seriously though, I'm... I'm... 582 00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:14,173 I really am a police officer. It's... 583 00:21:14,205 --> 00:21:16,909 I can't really be here stripping for... you! 584 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,176 (whoops) 585 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:20,278 It's a clip-on, ladies. 586 00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,315 And it's on the ground. Here we go. 587 00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:25,852 Uh-huh, I want y'all to get y'all ones ready. 588 00:21:25,884 --> 00:21:27,953 I wear my underwear two sizes too big. 589 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,489 (laughing) 590 00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:30,589 (grunts, mutters) 591 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,290 This is a... this is a thing. 592 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:34,826 This is a thing I got to do in order to get my belt off. 593 00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:37,063 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org