1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,613 Ugh! Can you believe this guy? 2 00:00:04,655 --> 00:00:07,267 Pete is over an hour late for our brunch date. 3 00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:10,227 Pete? Who's Pete?Oh, it's this dude who goes to my gym. 4 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:12,272 Thought Jess could use a man with a little muscle 5 00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,664 for a change, so I set 'em up. 6 00:00:13,708 --> 00:00:15,406 Not gonna marry him, but I'm having fun. 7 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,408 [chuckles] Knock, knock. Who's there? 8 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,280 Orange. Hang on a second, Orange. 9 00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:21,934 I'm gonna send a sext to Pete, which I did. 10 00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,719 My first one ever. Want to see? It's super hot. 11 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,416 I don't want to, uh... 12 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:26,939 Okay, that's just a picture of you 13 00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,679 in a bra over a T-shirt 14 00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,856 Holding a sign that says "Property of Pete." 15 00:00:30,899 --> 00:00:32,554 Not a sext.I'm wearing a bra! 16 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,469 No, that's like a glorified selfie.You can see the bra. 17 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,079 Nope. [scoffs] I bet he saw this, 18 00:00:36,122 --> 00:00:37,298 and he was like, 19 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:40,256 [in low voice]: "Oh, delicious." 20 00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:41,475 You want him to say that? 21 00:00:41,518 --> 00:00:42,911 I have to agree, 22 00:00:42,954 --> 00:00:44,435 [phone blipping]because the true nature 23 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:47,786 of eroticism is what is not shown. 24 00:00:47,829 --> 00:00:50,049 COACH: I never get sexts. 25 00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,706 What are you taking? 26 00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:55,881 Just some, uh... motion sickness pill. 27 00:00:55,924 --> 00:00:58,231 It's a mild sedative. 28 00:00:58,274 --> 00:01:00,363 My mom just landed. 29 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,234 That's unrelated. 30 00:01:01,277 --> 00:01:02,670 Oh, my God, your mom's here?! 31 00:01:02,713 --> 00:01:04,106 I'm so excited to meet her. 32 00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:06,239 You probably won't; she's busy. 33 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,242 But maybe, hopefully, I doubt it. 34 00:01:08,284 --> 00:01:09,504 I can't believe I've never met her. 35 00:01:09,546 --> 00:01:11,331 You know, we get together and we laugh and... 36 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,724 [sighs] she tells me all the ways that 37 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,813 I could be better at things, and then I do them, 38 00:01:14,856 --> 00:01:16,250 but not right. 39 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,816 Oh, it's fun. 40 00:01:17,859 --> 00:01:19,513 We have, we have fun. 41 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,385 You know, I wish I had fun with my partner. 42 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:22,908 Wow, every time I ask Aly to hang out, 43 00:01:22,951 --> 00:01:24,474 she's always like, "Nah."NICK: Hey, Schmidty, vamos. 44 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:27,390 I want to show you a surprise investment opportunity. 45 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,611 Surprise, Nick? I'm telling you right now, 46 00:01:29,653 --> 00:01:31,917 if it is a boat, I'm gonna be so psyched! 47 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,789 I literally just got new boat shoes. 48 00:01:33,831 --> 00:01:35,834 JESS: [sputters] Standing here like a damn jabroni. 49 00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:38,489 He hasn't even answered any of my texts. 50 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:40,274 He hasn't?You don't think he's... 51 00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:43,406 [gasping]He is blowing you off! 52 00:01:43,450 --> 00:01:45,713 He best not be! Hell no! 53 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,368 You guys are getting riled up, huh? We are gonna march right over there, 54 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,935 and we all right gonna find out what's happening! 55 00:01:49,978 --> 00:01:50,893 Let's go. 56 00:01:54,243 --> 00:01:55,811 [door closes][groans] 57 00:01:55,853 --> 00:01:58,944 Turns out that Pete had a very good excuse 58 00:01:58,987 --> 00:02:00,989 for not showing up. 59 00:02:04,993 --> 00:02:08,170 He died. 60 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,781 What? WINSTON: ♪ Just got out of the shower 61 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,219 ♪ Guess who cleaned everything? ♪ 62 00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:15,222 ♪ Guess who got in deep? 63 00:02:15,264 --> 00:02:17,920 What? 64 00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,103 A motorcycle accident? I didn't even know Pete rode one. 65 00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:30,324 He didn't. Apparently, he was thinking about getting one, 66 00:02:30,366 --> 00:02:34,240 and he slipped and fell on the showroom floor. 67 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:36,852 Buffed floors... 68 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,853 beautiful, but at what cost? 69 00:02:38,896 --> 00:02:41,596 The first guy I sext dies. 70 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,293 I should go to the memorial, right? 71 00:02:43,336 --> 00:02:44,598 Jess, don't make this about yourself, all right? 72 00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:45,990 You went on two dates with the guy. 73 00:02:46,034 --> 00:02:48,254 I was one of the last people to text him. 74 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,777 On Earth.CECE: Look, you didn't even 75 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:51,474 have sex with him, okay? You're fine. 76 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,347 So if I'd slept with him, I'd go. 77 00:02:53,389 --> 00:02:55,218 Or if you'd gone skiing together.Mm-hmm, yeah. 78 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,045 What are these rules?COACH: Just don't go. 79 00:02:57,088 --> 00:02:58,221 'Cause if you go, then I'm gonna feel weird 80 00:02:58,264 --> 00:02:59,569 about not going, and I ain't going. 81 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,311 Yeah, just come and have a mani-pedi with me. 82 00:03:01,354 --> 00:03:03,792 I'm going; it's the right thing to do. 83 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,924 Oh, so if I don't go, I'm a bad person now? 84 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:08,013 Cece. Mm-hmm. 85 00:03:08,056 --> 00:03:10,450 I'm surprised. I thought you, of all people, 86 00:03:10,493 --> 00:03:12,582 would want to accompany your best friend 87 00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:16,631 to the funeral of a guy she texted, but... 88 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,068 I guess... not. 89 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,466 ♪ Ta-da! 90 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:26,509 What do you mean? 91 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,425 What is ta-da? We drove here together 92 00:03:28,468 --> 00:03:29,644 and parked before you covered my eyes. 93 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,472 What is the surprise investment, Nick? 94 00:03:31,514 --> 00:03:32,820 The bar. 95 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,953 Mike's selling us ten percent. 96 00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,477 I really need the cash. 97 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,609 I got swindled by a young gay roller skater. 98 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,914 A rink twink. 99 00:03:39,957 --> 00:03:41,133 I know what a rink twink is, Mike. 100 00:03:41,176 --> 00:03:42,396 Hey, 20 thou 101 00:03:42,438 --> 00:03:44,485 and we are part owners, okay? 102 00:03:44,527 --> 00:03:46,486 I've done my research. 103 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,836 There's a consistent revenue and no startup costs. 104 00:03:48,879 --> 00:03:50,490 You're really serious about this, huh? 105 00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:51,926 I really want this, man. 106 00:03:51,969 --> 00:03:53,406 Good. I want this, too.Good. 107 00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:55,277 Where are we gonna get 20 grand from? 108 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,497 Well, we got the ten grand we made on the Swuit. 109 00:03:57,540 --> 00:03:59,848 Maybe do we have any rich friends we can borrow money from? 110 00:03:59,890 --> 00:04:01,328 Well, let's think about it. There's the middle school 111 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,417 vice principal, there's the cop, the gym teacher. 112 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,375 Let's not forget about the community college student. 113 00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:07,855 Whew, lot of options.Yeah. 114 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,074 It's tough, it's frustrating. 115 00:04:09,117 --> 00:04:10,989 Yeah, huh... damn it. 116 00:04:11,032 --> 00:04:12,513 Schimdty just had an idea. I know that face. 117 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,296 Give it to me, give it to me. 118 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,211 What are you thinking, big cat? 119 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:16,168 What are you thinking, big cat? 120 00:04:16,211 --> 00:04:17,213 I just... 121 00:04:19,562 --> 00:04:22,391 [grunts]Think, now, if we own it, don't be kicking it. 122 00:04:22,435 --> 00:04:24,915 Just... Yeah, oh. 123 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:26,134 Aah! 124 00:04:26,177 --> 00:04:27,528 Ouch. 125 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:28,658 Okay. 126 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,531 Hey, pal, uh, what's happening? 127 00:04:31,574 --> 00:04:34,403 My mom still owes me my bar mitzvah money. 128 00:04:34,447 --> 00:04:36,667 I mean, we can ask her, but, you know, she's... 129 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,755 Pushy, overbearing, controlling.So, what? 130 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,584 Oh, she's a typical Jewish mom? 131 00:04:40,627 --> 00:04:42,151 It's anti-Semitic when you say it like that. 132 00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:43,370 So-so what, she likes to get involved? 133 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,240 That's great, you know. 134 00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,156 I don't feel very comfortable when I'm around her. 135 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,158 Well, boo-hoo, she thinks you want to have sex with her. 136 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,247 Try learning about the birds and the bees from her 137 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,161 using a doughnut and a banana. By the way, 138 00:04:53,204 --> 00:04:55,338 neither one of which are used for what you think they are. 139 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,600 How could that be? 140 00:04:57,644 --> 00:04:58,906 Hey, want to grab a bite later? 141 00:04:58,949 --> 00:05:00,951 You know it, partner. [laughs] 142 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,564 Hey, Aly, 143 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,565 uh, want to grab a beer after work? 144 00:05:05,608 --> 00:05:07,394 Ooh... 145 00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:09,004 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 146 00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:12,137 [groaning] 147 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,790 Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. 148 00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:15,271 Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya. 149 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:17,925 Ooh. 150 00:05:17,968 --> 00:05:19,971 [humming] 151 00:05:22,538 --> 00:05:24,497 [grunting] 152 00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:25,934 [clicking tongue] 153 00:05:25,976 --> 00:05:28,023 Uh, ooh. 154 00:05:28,065 --> 00:05:31,853 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 155 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,158 No. 156 00:05:34,202 --> 00:05:36,247 Oh, come on.Not work related, 157 00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:38,033 not interested, Bishop. 158 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,382 We're professionals, not friends. 159 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,387 Oh, God. Here we go. Showtime. 160 00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:46,170 Mama! No! 161 00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:49,173 I was meeting my little boy, not this handsome movie star. 162 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:50,175 What are you doing with these? 163 00:05:50,218 --> 00:05:52,002 Why would you hide your hazels? 164 00:05:53,221 --> 00:05:54,745 [laughs] Hi, sweetheart. 165 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,312 Oh! 166 00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:57,531 Hey, Louise, it's really good to see you. 167 00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,183 I bet it is; tape it down, Miller. 168 00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:01,535 Tape it?Here, look at your baby brother. 169 00:06:01,577 --> 00:06:02,752 How handsome is Reggie? 170 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,406 [kisses] Give him a kiss. 171 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,670 Kiss your brother. Give him a kiss. 172 00:06:06,713 --> 00:06:08,541 Give him a kiss; he loves it. Kiss him, kiss him. 173 00:06:08,584 --> 00:06:10,978 Okay, give him a scratch. He loves a scratch. 174 00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:12,459 He loves a scratch. 175 00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,374 Can I get an alcohol? 176 00:06:19,639 --> 00:06:21,771 So, how's Susan? 177 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,339 Susan's my-my mom's work friend who she lives with. 178 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,646 Susan cuts her own firewood. 179 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,211 Susan's my girlfriend. 180 00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:28,778 That's what I said, your work friend. 181 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,651 She's good. We just got a new mattress. 182 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,826 So work's been more comfortable. 183 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,262 [chuckling] 184 00:06:34,305 --> 00:06:35,699 What? 185 00:06:35,742 --> 00:06:37,004 What-what now? 186 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,615 Is it my sweater? Is it too dark? 187 00:06:38,658 --> 00:06:40,050 It might be. Here. 188 00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:41,574 You got, you got me a sweater? 189 00:06:41,617 --> 00:06:43,576 Mm-hmm. Now that's nice. 190 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,143 That's nice. Try it on. 191 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,274 I'm trying, I'm put-putting it on right now. 192 00:06:46,317 --> 00:06:47,449 It goes over your head. 193 00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:48,668 He's putting a sweater on a sweater? 194 00:06:48,711 --> 00:06:50,060 Get over it.Get over it. 195 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:52,324 That's nice, very nice. 196 00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:53,935 Thank you so much. I love this so much. 197 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,718 Schmidt, isn't there something 198 00:06:55,762 --> 00:06:56,807 you want to ask your mother about? 199 00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,026 SCHMIDT: Well, 200 00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,810 I did... I did want to ask you about... 201 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,115 Your voice is wavering. 202 00:07:01,158 --> 00:07:02,639 Here, have some chocolate. 203 00:07:02,682 --> 00:07:04,161 No, Mom, I'm okay. Thank you.Have it. 204 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,685 Here, have it, have it, have it. 205 00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:06,817 I'll just have one.Have it, have it. 206 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,819 Have it, have it. 207 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,908 There you go.I do love it. Hmm! 208 00:07:10,951 --> 00:07:13,170 So, I... What I was thinking about was... 209 00:07:13,214 --> 00:07:14,737 uh... 210 00:07:14,781 --> 00:07:16,913 my bar mitzvah money. 211 00:07:16,957 --> 00:07:19,264 Can I have it? 212 00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:22,050 Oh, my God! Of course you can! Yes. 213 00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:24,139 Oh, that was... yeah, so easy. 214 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,619 As soon as you write your thank-you notes. 215 00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:27,185 You didn't forget, did you? 216 00:07:27,228 --> 00:07:28,317 He never did his thank-you cards. 217 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,360 SCHMIDT: Mom, I just thought that 218 00:07:29,404 --> 00:07:30,536 you know, that was so long ago... 219 00:07:30,579 --> 00:07:31,711 Well, you know.If I just gave you 220 00:07:31,754 --> 00:07:33,365 the money, what kind of lesson would that be? 221 00:07:33,408 --> 00:07:34,627 You finish your cards, you get the money. 222 00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:35,932 That's fair, isn't it? 223 00:07:35,976 --> 00:07:37,891 You didn't finish your thank-you cards? 224 00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,415 There's a hat in the bag, too. Try it on. 225 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:43,201 Put it on. 226 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,550 That's very nice. 227 00:07:44,593 --> 00:07:46,334 Take it off, you're in a restaurant. 228 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,557 Sure about this? It's not too late to bail. 229 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,862 We're going. 230 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,560 It's the right thing to do. 231 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,865 Look, we'll be in and out of there in five minutes. 232 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,954 It'll be so packed, no one will notice. 233 00:08:03,569 --> 00:08:05,180 [whispering]: The right thing to do. 234 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,747 Is it? 235 00:08:10,401 --> 00:08:11,665 ...and, uh, Pete said, 236 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,536 "If you gotta puke, Duffy, 237 00:08:13,579 --> 00:08:14,971 just puke." 238 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,582 Almost time to tell the story 239 00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:18,149 about your close friend Pete. 240 00:08:18,192 --> 00:08:19,673 I'm just gonna tell the truth. 241 00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:20,935 We went on a few dates. That's it. 242 00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:21,978 I'm Val, 243 00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,589 Pete's girlfriend. 244 00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,680 [sobs] I'm sorry. 245 00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:29,160 Would you mind going? 246 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,639 How did you know Pete? 247 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,340 [clears throat quietly] 248 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:36,645 Um, from work. 249 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:37,908 We worked together. 250 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,169 You're a sports agent, too? 251 00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:41,738 Wow... Yep. 252 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,567 Okay, we got a lot of thank-you cards to write 253 00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:45,915 and not a lot of time. 254 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,657 Let's get into it. I'll start, okay? 255 00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:48,918 Let's go, here we go. 256 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,138 "To whom 257 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,922 "it may 258 00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:54,924 concern..."To... to whom it may concern? 259 00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:56,797 I'm on a vibe.Nick, these need to have personal details. 260 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,145 My mom is gonna check them. 261 00:08:58,188 --> 00:08:59,451 All right, then get me the guest list. 262 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:00,844 Where have you imagined that I've been holding 263 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,716 onto the guest list for all these years? 264 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,152 Just carrying it around in my wallet? This is impossible. 265 00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:06,720 This is gonna take some serious detective work. 266 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,155 [chuckles] 267 00:09:08,198 --> 00:09:09,635 It's a good thing I can call backup. 268 00:09:11,462 --> 00:09:13,769 Hey.You said this was a work thing. 269 00:09:13,813 --> 00:09:15,032 It is a work thing. 270 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,860 It's a... work-style thing. 271 00:09:16,903 --> 00:09:18,514 You see, we need your skills to solve 272 00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:20,559 a cold case. 273 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:25,869 [hip-hop playing] 274 00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,828 ♪ 275 00:09:28,871 --> 00:09:31,091 ALY: Hey, you want your bar mitzvah money? Tell me her name. 276 00:09:31,134 --> 00:09:33,398 I don't remember.I don't believe you! 277 00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,399 Just relax. Relax. Here, Schmidt. 278 00:09:35,443 --> 00:09:38,186 Sip that. 279 00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:39,753 Want to hear the music again? 280 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,318 [hip-hop music playing] 281 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,625 All right, there we go. 282 00:09:42,668 --> 00:09:44,758 Uh-huh. 283 00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,193 Yeah, you're 13 years old, 284 00:09:46,236 --> 00:09:47,499 everybody's feeling it... 285 00:09:49,326 --> 00:09:51,198 ♪ Motown Philly's back again... ♪Enough. 286 00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:52,417 What was her name?! 287 00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,461 Sharon Rosenberg! 288 00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,726 Okay. 257 Sea Cove Drive, 11021. 289 00:10:00,511 --> 00:10:02,644 Okay. "Dear Mrs. Rosenberg... 290 00:10:02,688 --> 00:10:04,038 Thank you for the check." 291 00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,692 I need a personal detail!Personal detail! 292 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:06,822 She had a pool. 293 00:10:06,866 --> 00:10:08,869 "Cannonball! 294 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,871 Love, Schmidt."WINSTON: Cannonball! 295 00:10:11,914 --> 00:10:13,743 Okay, Schmidt. All right, Schmidt. 296 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,440 Who's this guy? SCHMIDT: I don't know, Winston. 297 00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:16,702 It's too far away, I can't tell. 298 00:10:16,745 --> 00:10:18,139 Uh... enhance, enhance, enhance... 299 00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:19,313 Okay, too far, too far. 300 00:10:19,356 --> 00:10:21,229 Dehance, dehance. 301 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,838 Scott Rubenstein!Scott Rubenstein. 302 00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:24,014 My mom's CPA. 303 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,364 Scott Rubenstein... 304 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:28,062 deceased. 305 00:10:29,279 --> 00:10:31,065 Yes! 306 00:10:31,107 --> 00:10:32,240 Yes! 307 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,241 Love the dead ones. 308 00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:36,897 You know, Pete wasn't just a sports agent. 309 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,681 He understood sports. 310 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,943 Like, he knew the rules, all of them: 311 00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,946 offsides, 312 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:45,905 unnecessary bumping, 313 00:10:45,948 --> 00:10:48,691 what happens if you hit a bird with the ball you throw... 314 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,562 Excuse-excuse me. Can I, uh, borrow her for a second? 315 00:10:50,605 --> 00:10:51,825 Mm-hmm. Thank you. 316 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:52,956 What's up? Uh... 317 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,914 what the hell are you doing? 318 00:10:54,957 --> 00:10:56,480 I'm trying to save that poor girl's feelings. 319 00:10:56,524 --> 00:10:57,744 If she knew the truth, it would shatter her. 320 00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,484 I am going to the nail salon, okay? 321 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:00,833 Bye. Cece... I'm out. 322 00:11:00,876 --> 00:11:01,835 Hey, wait! Guys, wait. 323 00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,620 No, stop... guys. 324 00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:06,490 The only sport I know is Ricky Ball, 325 00:11:06,534 --> 00:11:08,493 and I'm pretty sure my friend Ricky made that up. 326 00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,408 No. Lying about who you are is not the right thing to do. 327 00:11:11,626 --> 00:11:12,715 I am going. Coach... 328 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,629 [whimpering]Is this, uh... 329 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:16,500 is this Pete's thing? He was my agent. 330 00:11:16,544 --> 00:11:17,850 Of course he was. 331 00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:21,071 Who else would represent NFL star JJ Watt? 332 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:24,292 Uh, Pete was my best friend and, uh... 333 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:27,120 God, it's good to see you. 334 00:11:27,163 --> 00:11:28,730 LOUISE: Wouldn't the couch 335 00:11:28,774 --> 00:11:30,864 be better over there? All that light? 336 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,995 Or do you like to live like a radish, underground? 337 00:11:33,039 --> 00:11:36,652 So we worked really hard on the... on the cards. 338 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,610 Let's see what we got. 339 00:11:39,915 --> 00:11:41,395 Okay. 340 00:11:41,438 --> 00:11:42,875 But you know what would be better? 341 00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:43,963 Connie's into gardening. 342 00:11:44,006 --> 00:11:45,616 You should mention that. 343 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,402 And if you really want your card to pop, 344 00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:49,099 you can use a nice fountain pen 345 00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:50,753 on silver stationery. 346 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,754 And you should sign your full name, not just Schmidt. 347 00:11:52,798 --> 00:11:54,625 I mean, you have a lovely first name. 348 00:11:54,669 --> 00:11:56,411 Great! I'll just make all those changes, Mom! 349 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:02,111 [door slams]Okay. 350 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,811 You're not getting me into your pants, you little jackhammer. 351 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,986 Oh, I don't want you in my pants, Louise. 352 00:12:07,029 --> 00:12:08,118 Okay. Okay. 353 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,859 Okay. 354 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,211 So then Pete says to...Allen Iverson. 355 00:12:15,255 --> 00:12:17,388 "...you want to keep sportsing on the..."Grizzlies. 356 00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:18,912 JESS: "...but if you want me 357 00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:20,696 "to show you the money, then... 358 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,133 You gotta finish your career off with the '76ers!" 359 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:26,135 [chuckles] And it was classic Pete. 360 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,965 It's so nice to remember work as more than just a thing 361 00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,706 that kept Pete on the phone all the time. 362 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,360 You're very welcome. 363 00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:34,057 Oh, Val, you should have Pete's phone. 364 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:36,058 All those memories and photos... 365 00:12:36,102 --> 00:12:37,495 It's in the garage with all his stuff. 366 00:12:37,538 --> 00:12:39,019 I'll give it to you before you go. 367 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,019 VAL: Thank you.Mm-hmm. 368 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:46,852 Okay, we gotta find that phone before Val sees the sext. 369 00:12:46,895 --> 00:12:48,724 Yes, it is the right thing to do. 370 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,856 Like I've said all along. I got a good thing going 371 00:12:50,899 --> 00:12:52,032 with JJ and I'm not gonna let you ruin it. 372 00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:53,684 That's the funeral spirit. 373 00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,951 What are you guys doing in here? 374 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,735 What are you doing here?I'm looking for Pete's phone. 375 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,519 So are we! Did you sext him, too? 376 00:13:02,563 --> 00:13:04,479 No. I fired Pete over text, 377 00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:06,263 so I didn't want to crush his family. 378 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,961 That's why I'm at the memorial. 379 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,918 Not because it was the right thing to do? 380 00:13:09,962 --> 00:13:11,399 No. No. I mean, we never even went skiing. 381 00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:12,835 Who makes up these rules? 382 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,315 Now... 383 00:13:14,357 --> 00:13:15,750 What are you guys doing out here? 384 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:16,926 Um... Singing. 385 00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,668 S... What? 386 00:13:20,755 --> 00:13:22,192 We like to sing. 387 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,889 Together. About... 388 00:13:23,932 --> 00:13:24,846 Sports. Food. 389 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,283 Sports foods. 390 00:13:26,326 --> 00:13:27,501 VAL: That's fun. 391 00:13:27,544 --> 00:13:29,417 It's... 392 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,418 Would you guys... 393 00:13:31,461 --> 00:13:34,335 Would it be putting you on the spot if I asked you to do one? 394 00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,118 I think that wouldn't be appropriate.COACH: Actually, yes. 395 00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,206 I feel like it's a little... 396 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:39,861 ♪ Hot dogs 397 00:13:39,905 --> 00:13:42,342 ♪ Hot dogs... 398 00:13:42,385 --> 00:13:46,738 ♪ Everybody loves hot dogs 399 00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:49,306 ♪ Hot dogs ♪ Dogs 400 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:52,265 ♪ Everybody's favorite treat is hot dogs ♪ 401 00:13:52,308 --> 00:13:53,788 ♪ Hot dogs 402 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:56,966 ♪ Pretzels! 403 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,664 Whoa, partner! 404 00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:01,884 Wait up! [laughs] 405 00:14:01,927 --> 00:14:03,102 That work-style 406 00:14:03,145 --> 00:14:04,668 thing was pretty fun. 407 00:14:04,712 --> 00:14:06,149 Let's parlay that into a beer. 408 00:14:06,192 --> 00:14:08,282 My buddy has a bar he works at, down the street. 409 00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:10,457 It's carpeted, so... 410 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,503 Bishop, what don't you get? 411 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,027 No. 412 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,028 [SUV door opens, shuts] 413 00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:19,162 [engine starts] 414 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:21,250 Are you okay? 415 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,078 Oh, hey, man. Thanks. 416 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:25,038 Yeah, I don't know, man. It's just...[shushes] 417 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,561 I'm talking to a ladybug. 418 00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,258 Squeeze my hand! 419 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,695 Just one more push! You're almost there! 420 00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:33,133 The first child is always the hardest! 421 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,482 Hey, bud. 422 00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:37,701 Hard candy?Is it butterscotch? 423 00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:40,400 No, 'cause we're friggin' strangers. 424 00:14:40,443 --> 00:14:42,490 [laughs]: "Is it butterscotch?" 425 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,404 So, you freaked out a little back there, 426 00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:46,188 didn't you? 427 00:14:46,232 --> 00:14:48,756 Not to use some popsicle psychology... 428 00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:50,105 "Popsicle psychology"? 429 00:14:50,149 --> 00:14:51,846 Yeah, it's pop psychology for short. 430 00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,370 'Cause, you know, 431 00:14:53,413 --> 00:14:55,110 you eat the popsicle and you love it so much 432 00:14:55,154 --> 00:14:57,418 and then you're stuck holding the-the stick? 433 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:59,985 You get it. you get it. 434 00:15:00,028 --> 00:15:01,291 Not really, but...I think you have 435 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:04,947 some pent-up resentment towards your mom. 436 00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:06,121 She's trying to control you! 437 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,775 She treats you like a little baby 438 00:15:07,818 --> 00:15:09,559 who can't do anything for himself. 439 00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,083 That's why I never wrote the cards in the first place. 440 00:15:11,126 --> 00:15:13,086 Go tell that to your mom! 441 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,217 She'll understand. 442 00:15:15,261 --> 00:15:16,740 I don't understand. 443 00:15:16,784 --> 00:15:18,961 The couch looks good here though, doesn't it? 444 00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:20,745 It opens up the whole room. 445 00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:22,616 Louise, I think what your boy is trying to say is... 446 00:15:22,659 --> 00:15:24,226 Shut it, Nick. 447 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,186 Honey, why do you hang out with him? 448 00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:30,145 You know Nancy Borkow? Her son just moved to L.A. 449 00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:32,235 He wrote a movie script for the movies. 450 00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:34,019 I can connect you. You need better friends! 451 00:15:34,062 --> 00:15:36,239 Enough, Mom! 452 00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:37,631 You don't get to choose my friends! 453 00:15:37,674 --> 00:15:39,241 You don't get to choose anything! 454 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,548 Because this is my life! 455 00:15:41,591 --> 00:15:45,379 It's my dream and nothing's gonna stop me now! 456 00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,816 It feels like that's from something. 457 00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:50,036 It feels like, it feels like it's from a movie or something.♪ My life 458 00:15:50,078 --> 00:15:52,038 Yeah, I think it's a song. It's a song.Like some sort of song, right? 459 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:54,213 It's the Perfect Strangertheme.Well, you know, 460 00:15:54,256 --> 00:15:55,389 it doesn't matter! 461 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,868 You know, we did a good job with those cards, Mom. 462 00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,347 And we don't need any of your money. 463 00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:00,350 Whoa, we're all being very emotional. 464 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:01,568 Let's just slow everything... 465 00:16:01,611 --> 00:16:03,265 I'm moving the couch back! 466 00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:07,443 Gosh! 467 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,013 Did you nail that thing down? 468 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,450 That's... You move that all by yourself? 469 00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,235 I'm an adult man, Mom. 470 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:17,019 And Nick is my best friend in the whole wide world. 471 00:16:17,062 --> 00:16:18,802 And we're gonna buy a small portion of that bar 472 00:16:18,846 --> 00:16:21,197 without any of your help. 473 00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:25,114 [sighs][door slams] 474 00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,596 And also, there's some leftover chili in the fridge 475 00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:30,379 if you get hungry, and, please, make sure 476 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,426 to put a plate over it before you put it in the microwave. 477 00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:34,471 I don't want it to splatter everywhere! 478 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,953 ♪ And that's why they call it 479 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,303 ♪ The out-of-peanuts 480 00:16:41,347 --> 00:16:43,610 ♪ Blues... 481 00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:47,745 ♪ Stadium taco. 482 00:16:51,357 --> 00:16:54,664 Thank you guys for being a bright spot on my sad day. 483 00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,405 [screams]Aah! 484 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,841 Shucks!Sorry! 485 00:16:57,885 --> 00:16:59,626 I thought I saw Pete's ghost! 486 00:16:59,669 --> 00:17:02,063 It was a paint can. [laughs] 487 00:17:02,107 --> 00:17:03,022 [all chuckle]Are you sure about...? 488 00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:05,849 Ugh! We gotta find this phone. 489 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,200 And get the hell out of here. 490 00:17:07,242 --> 00:17:08,201 Okay, it's ringing. 491 00:17:08,243 --> 00:17:10,724 Can anybody hear it? 492 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:13,205 [cell phone ringing]Oh, no, no, no, 493 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,510 no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 494 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:17,078 There's another box. 495 00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,646 What the hell...? "Property of Pete"? 496 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,127 He made my sext his caller I.D.? 497 00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,607 This is a sext? 498 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,221 JJ fired him over text! 499 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,531 After the day I had, I needed this. 500 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,230 Me, too. 501 00:17:37,272 --> 00:17:38,535 What happened? 502 00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:39,971 I know you were talking to yourself. 503 00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,233 Now you're talking to a stranger. 504 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,799 Get over it. 505 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:45,238 Is that a crime in California? What happened? 506 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,674 I got dragged to a random dude's funeral. 507 00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,459 Who dragged you?My friend. She always thinks 508 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:50,894 she knows what's best. 509 00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:53,115 Who's your friend-- me?[both laugh] 510 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,464 No. 511 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:58,337 I got accused of that today by my son. 512 00:17:58,381 --> 00:17:59,817 He's tired of me babying him. 513 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:02,211 But he's my baby, so what am I supposed to do? 514 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,778 Maybe you have to let go a little. 515 00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:07,346 This is why strangers talk. 516 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,261 You're a genius. 517 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,263 Want to see a picture of my son? He's handsome. 518 00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,527 Nah. I'm kind of in love with my ex, so... 519 00:18:13,569 --> 00:18:16,137 All right, you can't date him anyway. 520 00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:18,401 You're not Jewish, so over my dead body and all that. 521 00:18:18,444 --> 00:18:20,142 [laughs] 522 00:18:20,185 --> 00:18:21,709 [laughs] 523 00:18:21,751 --> 00:18:23,928 Today was not a win for me. 524 00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:25,582 It's the right thing to do. 525 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:27,714 I don't even know what that means. 526 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,499 Well, you made today about yourself.Mm. 527 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,153 Not to use popcorn psychology, but it's human nature. 528 00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,287 You know? Soon as I saw JJ walk in, I was, like, 529 00:18:34,329 --> 00:18:35,940 "JJ Watt, be my best friend." 530 00:18:35,983 --> 00:18:36,984 [both chuckle] 531 00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:38,595 [sighs] 532 00:18:38,638 --> 00:18:40,205 I got to do something. 533 00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,816 Should I tell Aly off? Uh... 534 00:18:41,858 --> 00:18:43,644 put in for a new partner? 535 00:18:43,686 --> 00:18:44,818 What's the right thing to do here? 536 00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,951 I can say with 100% certainty 537 00:18:46,994 --> 00:18:48,431 I have no idea. 538 00:18:48,474 --> 00:18:50,606 Look at you. I'm proud of you. 539 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,521 I learned from the best.That's awesome. 540 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,785 What a wonderful moment we're having today! 541 00:18:54,828 --> 00:18:56,090 You know what? I'll figure it out myself. 542 00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:58,180 Thank you. 543 00:18:58,223 --> 00:18:59,963 This is from that sixth grader over there. 544 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,878 [quietly]: Hmm? 545 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:08,407 Aly, what are you doing here? 546 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:09,799 I just wanted to explain. Look... 547 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,977 I hung out a lot with my last partner. 548 00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:15,327 And we got close and... 549 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:16,415 You shot him?What? 550 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,590 He died?No. 551 00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:18,634 Oh, my goodness... is he...? 552 00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:19,635 Did he survive? 553 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,810 What are you talking about? 554 00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,335 How did you partner die? 555 00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:23,553 He didn't die! 556 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:24,380 So, what's your point? 557 00:19:24,423 --> 00:19:25,859 He just fell in love with me! 558 00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,426 Oh... oh! Oh!Yeah. 559 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:28,557 Ooh...And it messed everything up. 560 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:31,125 And I just don't want that to happen again. 561 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,433 Damn, you're conceited! 562 00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:35,826 Don't nobody want your babies. 563 00:19:35,869 --> 00:19:37,219 I know that now! 564 00:19:37,262 --> 00:19:38,567 I mean, you brought me to your loft 565 00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,440 and showed me a bar mitzvah video. 566 00:19:40,482 --> 00:19:42,006 Friends?Cool, cool. 567 00:19:42,049 --> 00:19:44,791 Just, uh... don't go falling in love with me. 568 00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:47,010 'Cause I'm lovable as hell.Okay. 569 00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,011 I think I'll be okay. 570 00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:49,404 All right. 571 00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:00,023 Another! 572 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:01,678 [whoops] 573 00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:03,462 Oh, my. 574 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,028 Michael... 575 00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:06,814 we'd like to buy your share of the bar. 576 00:20:06,856 --> 00:20:10,077 And although we don't have the full $20,000 at the present... 577 00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:12,819 You don't have the money? No.But we're the right guys. 578 00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:14,169 No, the right guys would have the money. 579 00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:15,518 Or Kieran Culkin's mouth. 580 00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:17,390 How about Owen Wilson's nose? 581 00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:18,913 [groans] 582 00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:20,219 Mom? 583 00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:23,439 Oh, my God! 584 00:20:23,482 --> 00:20:24,832 Schmidt, is this your mom? 585 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,094 Hi. I've heard so much about you. 586 00:20:26,136 --> 00:20:27,703 How's Long Island? 587 00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:28,836 Any cute Schmidt stories? 588 00:20:28,878 --> 00:20:30,271 I need less from you. 589 00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,751 Okay. 590 00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:34,667 I met a Mexican woman at the nail salon... 591 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,539 who made me realize... 592 00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,150 I need to let go. 593 00:20:39,193 --> 00:20:40,413 You're a man. 594 00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:42,849 And you deserve your bar mitzvah money. 595 00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:45,287 Thanks, Mom. 596 00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:48,724 Mike, we want to buy your ten percent of the bar. 597 00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,552 This bar?! 598 00:20:50,596 --> 00:20:53,295 There's a dying catfish laying on the sidewalk out front! 599 00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:55,557 This would be a hilarious time for me to back out... 600 00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:56,732 but okay. 601 00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,647 Yes! We're part owners! 602 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,607 BOTH [chanting]: We're part owners! 603 00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,654 How great is this moment? 604 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,569 I just think you'd be more of a success socially 605 00:21:07,614 --> 00:21:10,703 if you let people come to you. 606 00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:12,444 You know what's fun? 607 00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:14,924 I'm not gonna be able to sleep until we're best friends. 608 00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:17,711 [groans] 609 00:21:17,753 --> 00:21:18,711 JESS: Nick, can you believe it? 610 00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:20,017 You're a bar owner. 611 00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:21,105 I'm so proud of you. 612 00:21:21,148 --> 00:21:22,890 None of this would've happened 613 00:21:22,932 --> 00:21:26,980 without Schmidt standing up to his mom.It was so scary. 614 00:21:27,023 --> 00:21:29,809 I can't believe I missed her.We still can use the other 90% of the bar, right? 615 00:21:29,853 --> 00:21:32,115 Y-Yes.You know that's not how it works, right? 616 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,249 This is just my favorite section. I wanted to...It's a financial share. 617 00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:36,250 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 618 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,252 NICK: To Schmidt's mom, who I do want to have sex with! 619 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,298 SCHMIDT: Nick!