1
00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:03,504
Gentlemen, three months ago,

2
00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:05,073
I bravely re-entered
the dating pool.

3
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,873
And how has this city
rewarded me?

4
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:09,210
With an endless parade
of weirdo ass clowns.

5
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:11,144
Hard to say who was the worst.

6
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:12,813
Comedy magician.
No, it's the guy
with the little ding-ding.

7
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,914
The lion tamer.
Never went out
with a lion tamer.

8
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,150
Then I am having
some vivid dreams.

9
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,419
The point is,

10
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,420
Ian has asked me out
on a third date.

11
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,690
Ooh.
And this is the biggest
compliment I could give:

12
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,591
I want to go.

13
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,727
Because I like him.
Boo.

14
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,696
That's not a reason.
And, frankly, it's been a while.

15
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:30,097
And the third date is where

16
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,932
* Mama gets her biscuit.
(chuckles)

17
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,603
Mama gets her biscuit.
I don't understand.

18
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,271
It's sex.
Oh!

19
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,771
Yeah!
Now, that's a reason!

20
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,073
Anyway, I'm bringing him
home tonight,

21
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,042
so let's keep
those toilets flushed.

22
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,945
That means stick around.
Take a second look.

23
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,046
How'd you tell Ian about
the fun surprise that
you still live with your ex?

24
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,115
All right.

25
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,383
Well, I haven't told him yet.

26
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,884
Uh, tricky conversation.

27
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,853
I'm thinking
of something simple like,

28
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,189
"Hey, Ian, I live with my ex."

29
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,524
No. No, no. When a guy
hears that, he is going to

30
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,359
run through the wall
like the Kool-Aid Man.

31
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,695
Here's a fun idea. You can put
a hat on him with antlers.

32
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:06,299
This way, the hole he makes in
the wall will make us all smile.

33
00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:07,801
Nick brings home girls
all the time.

34
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,637
There's no problem.
No complaints here.

35
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,371
It'll make you forget
every botanical garden

36
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,805
you've ever seen.

37
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,007
I live with my ex-girlfriend.

38
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,944
And after the
farmer's market...

39
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,245
I live with my ex.

40
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,213
Let's have sex again.

41
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:21,248
I live with my ex.

42
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,251
(sighs)

43
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,817
Damn it. Too quick.

44
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,454
Hey, if you're looking
to scare somebody off,

45
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,121
it's basically a gold mine.

46
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:30,557
Nobody cares that we're exes
who live together.

47
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,526
(groans)
I got to go.

48
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,496
Okay, that doesn't
prove anything.

49
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,831
Just for the record, I'm leaving
'cause you live with your ex.

50
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,000
It's gross.
And disgusting.

51
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,335
And I'm gonna steal some stuff.

52
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:43,736
Take what you want, honey.

53
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,772
COACH:
We don't read those anymore.

54
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,841
(door closes)

55
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:52,246
Nick, who are these girls?

56
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,114
They're not the best.

57
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,156
Jess, guys hate
complicated situations.

58
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,593
We want the path
of least resistance.

59
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,195
There's a flap in our underwear
because we are too lazy

60
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,862
to pull our underpants down.

61
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,764
No offense, Nick, but...

62
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,634
Ian's a little different from
you or the women you bring home.

63
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,603
The... tavern folk.

64
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,038
Have some respect.
They're called Uh-Ohs.

65
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:22,009
And I've been through a lot
of names: Pork Pals,
Mm-hmm.

66
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,311
Okay.
Bone Cronies,

67
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,045
Right.
C-Plussy Hussies.

68
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:25,812
Very reverent.
But "Uh-Oh"

69
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,146
takes it off of them

70
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,149
and back onto me
where it belongs.

71
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,284
I made the mistake, not them.
They're great.

72
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,187
You really are a prince
among men, Nick.

73
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:35,155
Aw, that's awfully nice.
I feel like I'm maturing.

74
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:36,557
All I'm saying is that, somehow,

75
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,026
Ian is even more mature
than you are.

76
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,894
And that's why I think
he'll understand

77
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:44,331
when I tell him in a mature
adult way, I live with my ex,

78
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,799
but there's nothing
to worry about.

79
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,034
Can I suggest a tweak?
Fine.

80
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,802
"I live with my ex, but
there's nothing to worry about

81
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,170
because he's gay now."
No.

82
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,139
"Because he has weeks to live."
No.

83
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,175
"Because he's already dead."

84
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,144
What?
Then I'll act like a ghost.

85
00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:58,812
No.

86
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,247
(imitating ghost):
Consider it.

87
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,983
No.
Come on.

88
00:03:03,015 --> 00:03:04,651
That's the worst ghost
impression I've ever heard.

89
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,653
This is the worst ghost
impression you've ever heard?

90
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,921
(imitating ghost):
I'm a ghost.

91
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,491
(scoffs)
There's way worse.

92
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,825
(Winston humming softly)

93
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,694
Anything for me?

94
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,597
Oh, no, this isn't our mail.
This is our neighbors' mail.

95
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,598
You see, Viv likes it
alphabetized.

96
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,769
Yet Michelle likes it
according to size. (chuckles)

97
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,002
Hashtag "go figure," right?

98
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,572
Hashtag "did you see
how I rhymed?"

99
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,073
I want to choke you
until your eyes

100
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:27,875
literally pop out
of your head.

101
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,443
Those girls are not
going to sleep with you.

102
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:33,781
They are hot. And nothing is
less hot than a male secretary.

103
00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:36,283
(imitates record scratching)

104
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:37,685
What?

105
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,687
I think somebody needs
to take a good long look

106
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,855
at Defense Secretary
Chuck Hagel.

107
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,525
Dude's eyes are so pouchy,

108
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,295
he can barely see anything,
and he's still killing it.

109
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:50,730
Girls don't have sex with
guys who sort their mail.

110
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,634
Look, I am playing
the long game here, Coach,

111
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,403
weaving myself into the
fabric of their lives.

112
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,070
Pretty soon I'll
be as permanent

113
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:01,108
as the will that I
helped them draw up.

114
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:03,110
Oh, Winston, thank
God you're here.

115
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,645
The toilet won't flush.

116
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:05,645
Did you jiggle the handle?

117
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,046
No, it's not
working for us.

118
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,181
Here.
Oh.

119
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,419
I'm not here to do any chores.

120
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:14,121
You guys want
to hang out tonight?

121
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:15,489
Sure.
Sure.
Right on.

122
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:16,824
Right on. That's what's up.

123
00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:19,627
WINSTON: Coach, I really need
my stilts and a plunger!

124
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,161
Eh, I don't care.

125
00:04:22,194 --> 00:04:23,764
I'm happy
to lend you a bra,

126
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,733
but I don't think I have
anything that would fit you.

127
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,233
That's the Peter Pan.

128
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,802
That'll smash 'em down good,

129
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,103
but you'll never
get those in there.

130
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,338
I know. I just wanted to see

131
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,939
what it would feel like
to be your size.

132
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,742
Are we doing, like,
a boob Freaky Friday?

133
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,944
Because I don't want to lug
yours around. They're a load.

134
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,779
I know. That's the whole point.
That's why all the women

135
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,113
in my family have back trouble,
you know?

136
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,182
(groans)

137
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,850
So, now that I have
insurance, though,

138
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,185
I was thinking
maybe I could have, like,

139
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,586
breast reduction surgery.

140
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,187
SCHMIDT (in distance):
No!

141
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,457
(footsteps running)

142
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:53,026
(frantic knocking)
I wonder who this is.

143
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,862
What?

144
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,531
It's a boob reduction, Schmidt.

145
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:58,865
Just accept it.

146
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,533
Acceptance is stage five.

147
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,870
I'm grieving, Cece.
There are five stages of grief.

148
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,805
Stage one was denial.

149
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,206
This is not happening,
this is not happening.
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

150
00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:07,274
You're not getting
a boob reduction.
Yes, I am.

151
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,274
This is not happening.
Yes, it is.

152
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:09,610
Stage two was anger.

153
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,978
Your breasts belong
to all of us!

154
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,211
Okay.

155
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,346
Who are you to decide?!

156
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,148
Next will be stage
four, depression.

157
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,817
And then stage
five, acceptance.

158
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,319
But right now, I'm firmly
planted in stage three,

159
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,721
bargaining.

160
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,822
Dear God, if you stop
Cece's breast reduction,
Okay.

161
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:25,526
I'll circumcise Coach.
WINSTON: Whoa, Coach.

162
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,326
Go out with them tonight?
Doesn't make any sense, man.

163
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,329
And compromise
the long game? Ha.

164
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:31,331
Not until I replace their
rocker switches with dimmers.

165
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,466
Forget your long game,
Winston! Getting a girl

166
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,468
to have sex with you is
not about planning ahead.

167
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,036
It is about seizing
opportunities

168
00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:39,406
that you never saw coming.
It is instinct.

169
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:40,574
All right?
It is improv.

170
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,009
It is jazz, man.

171
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,411
But with words. You dig?
And the words are,

172
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,079
"Oh, yeah, girl,
I'm about to..."

173
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:48,081
(scatting loudly)

174
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:49,649
(phone vibrating)

175
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,350
(humming quietly)

176
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,353
(chuckles) Glen, my man,
tell me something good.

177
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,987
And you better not be
trying to sell me

178
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,057
some non-dimmable halogens,
you son of a...

179
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,459
Where you at?
Are you kidding me?

180
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,995
(sighs)

181
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,730
Hey, buddy.

182
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,600
You know what you need to
surround yourself with tonight?

183
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,403
Four new boobs.

184
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,774
On two different women?

185
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,108
You're damn right.

186
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,776
Take me to them.

187
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,377
(laughs)

188
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:21,113
Um, do you want to, like,
go find a bar, grab a drink?

189
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:24,184
There's a bar that I like.

190
00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:27,120
It's called... my place.

191
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:29,757
Great. Uh, is it...
You think it'll be crowded?

192
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,524
You know I'm talking
about my house, right?

193
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,093
Okay. Yeah, no, I wasn't...
I thought that was just

194
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:34,862
a clever name, but now I do.
No.

195
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,930
And, yeah, let's go there.

196
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,264
(laughs)

197
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,233
Um, one thing I want to,

198
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,403
uh, disclose to you
in a very mature

199
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,372
adult way, I...
live with my ex.

200
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,375
Okay. Uh, yeah,
you live with your ex.
Yeah.

201
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,810
But also three other guys.

202
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,545
It's more zany than sexy.

203
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,882
Okay. So it, like,
wasn't really serious?

204
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,415
Oh, it was very serious.

205
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,117
Did you say "I love you"?

206
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,319
Not until he said it.
(chuckles)

207
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,254
Uh, yeah, I don't think
I can do this.

208
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:04,257
I'm sorry. I just...
What?

209
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,494
I've been on so many weird dates
lately. I'm just looking
No. Ian.

210
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:07,894
for something easier. I...
No, Ian, Ian, Ian,

211
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,930
Ian, Ian, look.

212
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:13,567
Yes, I live with my ex.

213
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,136
But there's nothing
to worry about.

214
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,672
Because...

215
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:21,173
Nick. You're gay.

216
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,009
Huh?
You're gay.

217
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,076
Be gay. Be gay. Be gay.

218
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,077
Be gay?

219
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,613
Hey.
(chuckles)

220
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,447
I just had to make sure
these animals flushed.

221
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:30,182
Oh.
Not you, you
fastidious queen.

222
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:32,653
Oh, y-you must be Nick.

223
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:35,622
Well, friends call me Gay Nick.

224
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,528
My perfect Sunday-- sitting
here, watching the game,

225
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,362
eating a pot pie
with a hot dude

226
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,533
with no shirt on,
on my lap kissing me.

227
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,701
Right on, man.
Right on, man.

228
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:48,968
All right.
You got it.

229
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,336
(imitates explosion)

230
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:51,704
Uh, can I use
your restroom?

231
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,040
Yeah. It's down the hall
to the right.

232
00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:54,641
Don't worry. I won't peek.

233
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,543
But he wants to.
(chuckles)

234
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:57,944
Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

235
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,312
I should just
tell him the truth.

236
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,713
It's too late
for the truth, Jess.

237
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,048
You live with a gay man,

238
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,550
and this gay man's
gonna help you get laid.

239
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,286
Okay. Thank you.
You're welcome.

240
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,887
Do you think you
can play a gay man?

241
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,723
I'm terrible at lying,
I'm terrific at make-believe.

242
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,959
Okay.
Okay? But I need
to know some backstory

243
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,393
'cause it's very
important to me.

244
00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:15,228
Okay. Yeah,
backstory's important.
Okay.

245
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,797
Tell me, have I always
known I was gay,

246
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,398
or did I just recently
realize it?

247
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,300
That's-- Um, you-you always
knew you were gay,

248
00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:22,502
but you grew up
in an oil town

249
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:24,471
where masculinity was
the most valued currency.

250
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,740
Um, you-you had an older
brother named Chip.

251
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,709
And Chip was
a union guy.
Yes.

252
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,509
And if it wasn't
about Teamster Local 11,

253
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,078
Chip didn't want
to hear about it.

254
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:33,346
Oh, my God, we're doing this.

255
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:34,914
When I came out, was it flashy?

256
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,383
Was it emotional?

257
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,851
Am I mad that Anderson Cooper
doesn't fly the flag?

258
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,889
Or for what he's doing in his
own way-- is it even braver?

259
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,990
These are all really good
questions, but I just can't

260
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,158
get my mind off, like,
why you dress this way.

261
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,528
Why aren't you
in better shape?
Don't put me in a box!

262
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,331
There's nothing we gay men hate
more than being put in a box.

263
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,100
Good.
Look, maybe I'm a bear,
maybe I'm a twinkler.

264
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,503
That's not a category.
(loudly): I like rugby

265
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,206
for the game
and for the men.

266
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,941
Now, if you excuse me,
I got to go do

267
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,341
that gay thing
I was telling you about,

268
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,344
because, of course,
I'm gay as hell.

269
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:05,913
(laughs)
Bye.

270
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,447
(whispers):
That's not how gay men talk.

271
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,283
(whispers): I am
shattering stereotypes.

272
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:13,186
What are you
doing here, man?

273
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,587
WINSTON:
I'm always here.

274
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,423
Very definition
of the long game.

275
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,125
COACH: Forget your long game.
It doesn't...

276
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,525
What is he...?

277
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:22,062
What are you doing, man?

278
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,264
Is this...?

279
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,734
Is this the fut... the future?

280
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,269
I can hold them both
in one hand.

281
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,638
Yeah, man.

282
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:31,804
(sighs)

283
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,539
No, no, there it is.
Look at that.

284
00:09:33,572 --> 00:09:37,043
Stage four-- depression.

285
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,647
My two best friends
are going away.

286
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,381
Going away far too soon.

287
00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:45,317
And if you were lucky enough
to meet them,

288
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,721
to touch them,
to be touched by them,

289
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,724
you came away
a better person.

290
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,424
If you'll excuse me.

291
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,226
Is he... is he talking
about you guys?

292
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,264
Yes. Yes, he is, uh...
he's talking about us.

293
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,966
We are, unfortunately,
we're going away... tomorrow.

294
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,636
So, uh, we better make
tonight count, huh, ladies?

295
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,138
Wait.

296
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:06,740
We barely got
to know you!

297
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,076
How long will
you be gone?

298
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,778
For... for...

299
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,780
44 weeks.
44 weeks?

300
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:14,782
Tell them about
our business, man.

301
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,515
You don't have to be
shy about it.

302
00:10:16,548 --> 00:10:18,485
Uh, right.
No. Yeah.

303
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,519
Hello. Do you like socks?

304
00:10:20,552 --> 00:10:22,422
We sell socks.

305
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,792
Everybody likes socks.

306
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:27,527
I just cried on my penis
while I was peeing.
Whoa.

307
00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:28,961
SCHMIDT:
That happened.

308
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,596
I just can't stop thinking
about them.

309
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:32,298
(sighs)

310
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:35,134
You know, there are some people
that are gonna say that they...

311
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,004
they look alike.

312
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,673
That they're exactly the same.
And you know what?

313
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,607
They just don't know them
like I know them.

314
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,309
Truth-truth be told?

315
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:44,812
One of them...

316
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,279
One of them is slightly
more brown than the other.

317
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,015
And they're so unique,

318
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:51,384
and they're so special.

319
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,052
You know what I'm gonna miss
most about them?

320
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,956
Watching them bounce.

321
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,725
Watching them...

322
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,759
Watching them bounce.

323
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,302
If you just give me
a chance to exp...

324
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,905
Well, easy come,
easy go.

325
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,708
Easy? Easy?!

326
00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:18,912
You just stole six
months of my life, man.

327
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:22,481
I am... I am
P.O.'d, hombre!

328
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:24,083
Winston!

329
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,919
Can I get a high five?
Bam.

330
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,520
(laughs)

331
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:30,389
Sorry I called you a biscuit.

332
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,091
I'm sorry I liked
it so much.
(laughs)

333
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,161
(knocking)
NICK:
Hey, Jess, you in there?

334
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,595
Is that Nick?

335
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,063
Do you mean Gay Nick?

336
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,697
Yeah, that's Gay Nick.

337
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,202
(whispering):
I am so sorry.
What's going on?

338
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,605
I screwed up.
(door opens)

339
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,677
A girl, Nick?
I know.

340
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,044
Nick, really?

341
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,880
(laughs):
Hey.

342
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:56,115
(laughs)

343
00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,287
You look like my
dead friend Karen.

344
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,789
Does anyone ever
tell you that?
Hmm, no.

345
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,724
Thank you.
NICK:
Hmm.

346
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:07,794
(door closes)
What?!

347
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:09,863
I wanted to be gay
for you, I really did,

348
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,697
but it's a very
hard time to be gay.

349
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,801
Girls are wearing
scarves and boots.

350
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,467
They have so many
layers to them.

351
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,904
What is underneath all those
layers? I want to find out!

352
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,739
Are you blaming autumn?

353
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,109
Look, it was one night.
Get rid of her!

354
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,711
I tried. I told her I live with
my ex, and she didn't care.

355
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,645
You look so cute
in the morning.
(laughs)

356
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:28,480
You talking
to me or her?
(laughter)

357
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:31,051
(door closes)
Okay. I'll get rid of her.

358
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,985
I'll just pretend
to be your crazy ex-girlfriend.

359
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:35,956
I can do this. I did a one-woman
production of A Christmas Carol.

360
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,892
(British accent):
You, sir, what day is it?

361
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,094
Aye, it's Christmas day.

362
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,730
That was not good.

363
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,265
It was perfect.
Thank you.
I thought you'd think that.

364
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:47,734
Yeah, it's perfect.
All right, look,

365
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,269
you stay here
and keep your gay warm, okay?

366
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,671
In case Ian comes back.
Also, can we agree

367
00:12:51,703 --> 00:12:53,807
that this is not the most
mature way to handle things?

368
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:54,908
Even though it's pretty fun.

369
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,475
It's no fun a
couple Bellinis

370
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,677
and a round of apples
to apples can't solve.

371
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,746
What kind of gay are you?
I'm still finding it.

372
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,182
All right.
All right.

373
00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:07,519
Nick thinks we're broken
up, but he also thinks

374
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:10,023
that the last girl he slept
with wasn't me in a wig.

375
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,423
(laughs)

376
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,559
Wigs are so good
for tricking guys.

377
00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:16,929
I'm around all the time.

378
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,265
Do you really want to get
yourself in this situation?

379
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:22,469
My last boyfriend was, like,
honestly in his 80s.

380
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:25,605
I was just like,
"Don't die, Myron."

381
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,975
Does that answer
your question?

382
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,642
Tell me everything
you did sexually!

383
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,543
Everything!
All of it, or leave!

384
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:32,879
I put my finger...
Stop!

385
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,213
But you asked...
No.

386
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:36,383
I-I did, but
it backfired.

387
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,884
WINSTON:
Ah, so it is

388
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,786
load bearing, huh?

389
00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:41,221
What are you doing?

390
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:44,024
Me? Oh, well, first,
I'm putting up the shelves.

391
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,825
Then I got to finish the floor,

392
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,561
so that the shelves can
appear level, then the ceiling.

393
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,298
Enough! All right? You've
done enough for these women.

394
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,332
Look, ladies, I tried
to manipulate you,

395
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:55,034
and I am sorry about that, but

396
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,537
you guys have been manipulating
my friend for months.

397
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,740
It is not okay. Just dangling
sex like a little carrot.

398
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,309
We are not using sex
to get Winston to do stuff.

399
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:04,311
No.

400
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,379
Wait. You're not?
No.

401
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:08,548
Well, then he's
done doing stuff.

402
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,649
Come on, Winston.
You're better than this.

403
00:14:10,682 --> 00:14:12,418
Forget you guys.

404
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:13,485
Wait!

405
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,822
Yeah, just-just
give us a minute.

406
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,590
Okay, we have
to talk about...
Okay.

407
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,826
What are they
whispering about?
I don't know.

408
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,227
We could just
stack the books.

409
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,662
No...
No.

410
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,797
Oh, man, this is
embarrassing.

411
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,335
Uh...

412
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,736
Okay. It's me.

413
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:32,172
Come on.

414
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,206
What?

415
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,375
Wait. Listen. Um...

416
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,442
Michelle, you don't
have to do this.

417
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:37,677
That's okay. I
kind of want to.

418
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,913
Just, uh, keep the
pencil behind your ear,

419
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:43,783
and bring the hard hat,
um, and the safety goggles.

420
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,889
(whispers):
Long game.

421
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,196
(sighs)

422
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,398
Wonder what's taking,
uh, Jess so long.

423
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,865
Well, you know women.

424
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,268
What's women?

425
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,501
(laughs)

426
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,374
(laughs):
Am I right?
"What's women?"

427
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,976
I just don't know them
like you know them, is my point.

428
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:11,211
Uh-huh.

429
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:15,081
Uh, so, what kind of guys
do you like to date?

430
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,316
Me? All kinds.

431
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,783
Yeah.

432
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:21,821
Hunks. If I can get my, uh,
paws on a hunk, I don't let go.

433
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,291
Uh, ripped nerds.

434
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,625
'Cause they're smart
but strong, I guess.

435
00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:28,495
Uh-huh.
I like Spanish guys.

436
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,929
Throw in a little, uh,
hint of German in there,

437
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,565
there's a perfect combo.

438
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:33,899
Okay.

439
00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:36,003
Certain ice cream men, I guess.

440
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,471
Carpet steamers. Sleepy guys.

441
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:41,341
Uh, we in the gay community
call them "drowsers."

442
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,841
Why would you like
a sleepy guy?

443
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,011
Look... I'm so
out of the game--

444
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,245
I'm in a relationship.

445
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,580
Um...

446
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,149
he's got a nice penis.

447
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,150
You're sweating a lot.

448
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:52,851
That's what he said! Am I right?

449
00:15:52,884 --> 00:15:54,287
(laughs)

450
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:57,590
I'm a sweaty lover,
is what he says to me.

451
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,426
Okay, you know, you
really don't seem gay.

452
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,660
I don't buy it.

453
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,798
Hey.
Not now.

454
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,533
Probably wondering why I
didn't come home last night.

455
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,636
Just needed some space to
process this whole thing.

456
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,371
I'm sorry if our
room felt empty.

457
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:15,307
(sighs)

458
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:17,043
Well, it did.

459
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,711
I was really worried
about you.

460
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,879
So where were you?
You owe me that much.

461
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,549
I just went walking on
the streets last night.

462
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,884
I needed to come to
terms with all this.

463
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,821
Ended up in a park.
I know that's stupid,

464
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,157
but I promise
I was careful.

465
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,524
I mean, I was
totally safe.

466
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:32,792
A park?

467
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,726
I don't know, man.
Hey,

468
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,230
I'm upset... but I understand.

469
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,898
It's okay.

470
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,067
Come here.

471
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,403
Come here.

472
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,205
(sighs)
There, there.

473
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:50,710
Thanks.

474
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:51,477
Yeah.

475
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,413
Acceptance. Wow.

476
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,213
Yeah.

477
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,384
Give me a kiss.

478
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,854
Just give me a kiss.

479
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,222
All right?

480
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,928
I felt like you needed that
more than I did.

481
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:11,198
(sighs)

482
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,898
Your scruff, by the way,
is perfect.

483
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,201
Don't touch your
beard trimming setting.
Okay.

484
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:17,703
Take it easy.
Okay.

485
00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:20,740
That was beautiful.

486
00:17:20,772 --> 00:17:22,008
I'm-I'm sorry,
you know?

487
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,875
I think I'm just
more used to, like,

488
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,545
stereotypical gay guys,
like him, you know?

489
00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:27,380
You offended me.
I'm sorry.

490
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,015
Ian! Ian!

491
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,682
Ian, hi. There are some events
that are about to occur

492
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,951
that I'd like
to get ahead of.

493
00:17:31,983 --> 00:17:33,786
Um, the truth is that Nick is...

494
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,721
Oh, God.

495
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,125
Get off of me!

496
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,893
You're not a man!

497
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,300
Ian! Wait.
I'm so sorry I lied,

498
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,603
and you don't owe me
anything, but could I just

499
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,372
ask you one thing
before you leave?

500
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,039
What is this,
an exit interview?
Is there any good way

501
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,776
I could have told you
about my living situation?

502
00:17:56,808 --> 00:17:59,445
Okay, you know what?
Fair question. Um... no!

503
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,413
Look, Nick was
just trying to help me.
Clearly,

504
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,650
he would do anything for you.
I mean, he went so far

505
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,984
as to hire an actual gay man
to play his cheating lover.

506
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:09,155
What? Oh, my God.
You know what?

507
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,557
I think that was Schmidt.

508
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,224
He's... not gay.

509
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,260
When are the lies
gonna stop?!

510
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,662
Now, this is just
a consultation,

511
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,063
so do your best
to relax.

512
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,064
Okay.

513
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,065
Stop the surgery!

514
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:21,933
This is just a consultation.

515
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,135
May we have the room, please?

516
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:25,172
That's what it's here for.

517
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,038
I'm sorry.

518
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,344
What are you doing?!
Okay, look, I know

519
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:34,012
I can't stop this,
and I accept that,

520
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,847
but I just wanted
to stop it long enough

521
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,317
so that I could
say good-bye.

522
00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:41,086
Aw. Look, this is a
low-risk procedure, okay?

523
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,689
I'm gonna be fine.

524
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:44,856
Oh, you meant say
good-bye to my boobs.

525
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,459
I forgot who I
was talking to.

526
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:49,028
No, Schmidt, you
cannot see my boobs.

527
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:51,130
I need to look them in the eyes.
I can't let them leave

528
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:52,865
without knowing how much
they've meant to me.

529
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,166
I'll let them know.
No.

530
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,134
I need to tell them myself.

531
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,538
(groans) All right...

532
00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:01,273
you can say good-bye
to one, all right?

533
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,974
I mean, j-just one?
One.

534
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,678
(sighs)
Gosh almighty.

535
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:08,047
The Ultimate Sophie's Cho-Cho.

536
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:09,981
I mean, there's Harold,
who's just...

537
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,050
full of life...

538
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,385
(groans)

539
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:16,388
(sighs)
And Kumar, who's shy.

540
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:19,459
Who's shy, but yet
surprisingly so brave.

541
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,528
But, you know, who wouldn't be
with a best friend like Harold?

542
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,063
Oh, my God, fine!

543
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,865
You can say good-bye
to both, okay?

544
00:19:25,897 --> 00:19:28,300
Okay. I need you
to put these on.
What?

545
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,903
This is a private conversation
that doesn't concern you.

546
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,339
The playlist...

547
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,208
matches the mood.

548
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:37,609
(Pachelbel's "Canon in D"
playing)

549
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,588
*

550
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,126
*

551
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,536
*

552
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,209
(music fades)

553
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,111
I mean, I guess
if I'm being honest,

554
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,913
it doesn't matter
what size you are.

555
00:20:14,946 --> 00:20:16,782
I'm always gonna love you,

556
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,085
because you're attached
to the most beautiful person

557
00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:20,720
in the whole world.

558
00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,321
(music resumes)

559
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,694
You know what I think? I think

560
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,063
that when people go
on dates with us,

561
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,298
probably talk
to their friends

562
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:33,700
and their friends say,

563
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,968
"You go on dates with
a lot of weirdos."

564
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,470
(shower running)
Oh, my God.

565
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,373
We're the weirdo ass clowns.

566
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:43,710
Aw, no. Everyone in their 30s
waits in line for the shower.

567
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:47,614
I'm sorry, but the truth is,
as long as you live with me,

568
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,548
you're not gonna meet
a normal guy.

569
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,717
(Jess chuckles)

570
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,719
Why are you guys
all in here?

571
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,453
Winston's taking
a long-ass shower.

572
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:55,622
Poor guy gets dirty.

573
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:56,823
All right, let me see the new.

574
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:57,990
I accept it.

575
00:20:58,023 --> 00:20:59,759
Again, it was just
a consultation.

576
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:02,260
And actually, I don't even know
if I'm gonna go through with it.

577
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:04,262
You're still here.
I saved you.

578
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,964
I'm your Schindler.
One day, your children

579
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,834
are gonna put rocks
on my grave.

580
00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:10,569
Hey, uh, wow.
You guys mind if I get cuts?

581
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,971
'Cause I am very dirty.
JESS: Wait a minute.

582
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:13,972
Who's in the sh...

583
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,674
Hey, what's the vibe here

584
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:16,843
on shower pee-pee?

585
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,678
I'm just trying to plan my day.

586
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,512
Who is this woman?!

587
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:22,682
You have awesome water pressure.

588
00:21:22,714 --> 00:21:26,486
You should see
what's falling out of my hair.

589
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,019
Well, Nick...

590
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,155
looks like you're gonna
have to marry her.

591
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,758
It's looking
that way, isn't it?
Yeah.

592
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,692
She's not so bad.
She's peeing in the shower.

593
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,994
Yeah, she is. Classic Tina.
(laughs) That's weird.

594
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:41,567
Captioned by
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