1 00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:07,141 Cece went on a date last night? 2 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,976 Schmidt, why don't you just read my text messages 3 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,843 while I'm in the shower like you normally do? 4 00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,314 Our Cece has taken a lover? Good for him. 5 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,015 Don't get weird, Schmidt. I'm not being weird. I just said good for him. 6 00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,818 You know, I've camped in that forest, too. 7 00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:19,652 The babbling brook, the beautiful mountains, 8 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,655 little secret trailway that's only open seasonally, 9 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,856 and when it is-- let me tell you something-- bring a camera. 10 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,092 Cool, not weird at all. 11 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,193 Good, you're all here. 12 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:27,827 I just got a tip from my buddy Dugan. 13 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,896 My academy background check is today and I need 14 00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:31,899 everybody's help. Can't do it, bro. 15 00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:34,234 Going to the outlet mall today-- I'm gonna look like What? 16 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,070 a rich person from three years ago. Can't... You can't go 17 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,604 to the outlet mall today. Not today. Yeah, you can't 18 00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,273 go to the outlet mall today. Why? 19 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:40,941 It's a weekend-- what are you, crazy? Unless you 20 00:00:40,973 --> 00:00:42,109 got a game plan. I have a game plan. 21 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:43,411 SCHMIDT: Grab a quick smoothie, power up. 22 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,945 Do my leg stores first. Pants, socks, shoes. 23 00:00:45,978 --> 00:00:47,448 Hats and accessories last, then one sweet treat 24 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:50,350 for the road. Most likely a cinnamon pretzel. 25 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,719 I'm in. (laughs) That sounds like a tight afternoon. I'm in for sure. 26 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,722 What the hell, dude? I do want to be part of the pretzel. 27 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,024 This is my life. If I don't pass the background check, 28 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,526 then I fail out of the police academy. 29 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,927 Guys, this is an all-hands-on-deck situation. 30 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,463 If we don't help him, Winston 31 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,097 will never become a cop. Remember? 32 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,134 He-He handcuffed his cat's paw 33 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,701 to a radiator and then lost the key. 34 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,870 In my defense, I was making a Christmas card, so... Okay, 35 00:01:10,903 --> 00:01:13,540 you know what-- I'm gonna cancel my plans with Cece. 36 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,543 I'll find out about her date with Paul later. 37 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,478 A ridiculous name. Oh, hey, my name is 38 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,980 Puh-ha... Pau... I don't even know how to pronounce that. 39 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,716 It's Paul. I'll take that Paul, I'll take him to a water park, I will. 40 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,918 I'll put him on one of those waterslides between 41 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,754 two obese people and he'll get smushed to death. 42 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,055 Die in a... Die in a water... He'll die between 43 00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,724 the obese people before he drowns in the water. What? 44 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,328 Hmm? Schmidt, that is exactly the kind of talk we can't have today 45 00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,929 when the LAPD comes here. 46 00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:39,233 Um... the, uh, cops are coming here? 47 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,433 Yes. Like, here, here? 48 00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:41,435 Yes. Like, to our home, 49 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,069 w-where we keep our stuff? 50 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,938 Why can't we just go there? We'll just 51 00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,973 go there, a-answer some questions, get an ice coffee 52 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:50,009 on the way back-- I really feel like ice coffee. It's a home visit, Jess. 53 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,611 And not just from any cop. It's from 54 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,180 Sergeant Tess Dorado. The Fish. 55 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:55,015 I'm pretty sure they call her The Fish because 56 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,317 she's tough but fair, 57 00:01:57,350 --> 00:02:00,521 just like most fish I've interacted with. Winston, "dorado" is a fish. 58 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,989 It's a subset of mahi-mahi and it pairs very nicely 59 00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:05,626 with citrus, you oaf. I'm not a oaf, you're a oaf, stupid. (snorts) 60 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,694 So... You're dumb. Shut up. Also, put on 61 00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:10,030 some underpants, please. It's like a bounce house down there. 62 00:02:10,062 --> 00:02:13,032 Do you guys think that the cops are gonna go through our stuff? 63 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,502 What are you afraid of? They'll look through your dream journal? 64 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,969 No, I just... What, are you running a sweatshop 65 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:18,872 back there for skirts that look like curtains? 66 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,373 Actually... What'd you-What'd you, steal a kiss and 67 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,543 hide it in an envelope? (all laugh) 68 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:24,245 I have a bag of meth in my closet. 69 00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:36,689 Oh, I know it's in here somewhere... 70 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,325 Oh, oh, ooh. These are my "bad decision" hats. 71 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,228 Bad decision, right? How do you 72 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,396 not know where a bag of meth is? Find it and get rid of it. 73 00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:44,397 Find it, get rid of it. Jess, why do you have meth in your closet? 74 00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:47,468 Do you remember that day when I was trying to convince you guys 75 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,969 to come with me to that waffle restaurant in the Antelope Valley that I found? 76 00:02:50,002 --> 00:02:52,506 And you were like, "That's way too far to go for waffles." 77 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:55,376 Turns out you were right-- how good can a waffle really be? 78 00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,711 That's the question I answered that... NICK: Tell us the story faster. 79 00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,348 Your waffle story sucks. Where is the bag of crystal methamphetamine, you dummy? 80 00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:02,650 Okay, fine. Do you see that footstool? 81 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,850 I bought it at a garage sale. 82 00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:05,385 Turns out the top opens up 83 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,719 and when I opened up the top, 84 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,722 I found-- here it is-- 85 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:12,393 this. 86 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,861 COACH: Holy frickin' what? 87 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,597 (whoops) Aah! 88 00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,198 Oh, hey. How do I look? JESS: Terrible. 89 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,599 N-Not for me. Not great. Like crap. 90 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,502 Go change. SCHMIDT: I don't like any of it. 91 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,003 Wow. You guys are like rubbing alcohol. 92 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,441 You sting me in the now, but you save me in the later. 93 00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,777 All right. Okay, Winston cannot find out about this. 94 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,445 Because if he doesn't know, he can't get in trouble, and 95 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:35,383 he's probably already failing out of the academy as it is. 96 00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:38,519 Also, why are you keeping this in your closet? What am I supposed to do-- 97 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,420 notify the authorities? I'm sorry, Officer, 98 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,088 I found this bag of meth in a footstool 99 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,292 I bought at a garage sale. Uh, no. 100 00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:46,426 My closet is safe. The only person who goes in there 101 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,195 is me when I'm naked and/or sad. 102 00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:51,632 Hey. Much better, right? 103 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:52,699 I found it on the lawn. 104 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,033 (chuckles) 105 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,635 And that's the whole story. 106 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:57,805 So, you guys ready? She's on her way. 107 00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:00,307 Why don't you go wait for her downstairs? 108 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,074 Don't make her buzz up like a shawarma boy. 109 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,644 Good idea, good idea. 110 00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:04,877 This way, I get to tell her my sidewalk joke. 111 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,212 You remember the sidewalk joke, right? 112 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,647 There's a man on the s... 113 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,483 How's it...? There's a man on the... 114 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:11,618 Oh, you know, okay... 115 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,086 Everybody just calm down. 116 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,987 Especially you, Nick, you're already sopping wet. 117 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,290 Lying makes me sweat. I can't lie. 118 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,560 It's why I don't play poker or talk to pregnant ladies. 119 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,629 No one has to lie. I'm just going to get rid of it. 120 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:22,663 (mutters anxiously) 121 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:23,663 I'm gonna call Cece. 122 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:24,898 She knows about this stuff. 123 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,434 She lived one summer in Milan 124 00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,834 with a guy named Crystal Randy. 125 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,336 Ask her about the date. Hey, Cece, 126 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:30,670 quick question. How does one get 127 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,139 rid of a bag of meth? Call me back. 128 00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,473 Ask her if Paul is taller than me. Stop it. 129 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,007 Did she surrender her virtue? Hey. 130 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,610 Throw it in the trash. I can't see it. 131 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,077 I can't see where it goes, 'cause then when she comes 132 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,079 in here, I'll just yell "trash!" I'll yell "trash!" 133 00:04:40,112 --> 00:04:41,915 Cover your ears and sing "Landslide." 134 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,750 SCHMIDT: Let's call Cece again. * Took my love and I took it down * 135 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,084 We need to get this back in my closet... 136 00:04:45,117 --> 00:04:46,252 I could see your lips moving. 137 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,286 Well, close your eyes. (Nick singing) 138 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,656 Throw it out the window, okay? 139 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:49,490 I'll sneak down there, I'll toss it in 140 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,490 the Dumpster. Here. 141 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,858 Oh! JESS: Oh, my God! 142 00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:53,461 What the heck, Jess? JESS: I threw like a boy! 143 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,528 I've always thrown like a boy! You almost hit me in the face! 144 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:55,596 What are you, nuts? Overhand? 145 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,396 Oh, well, Winston's a goner. 146 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,002 You know, this building used to be a biscuit factory. 147 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,271 And apparently, the mice have not been told 148 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,538 it's gone residential. 149 00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:08,040 Was that a joke? 150 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,677 I hate jokes. 151 00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,379 * ...of changing JESS: Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 152 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,213 * 'Cause I built We just have to hide this. 153 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,449 * My whole life around you Throw it in here. 154 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,619 Come on! I was bringing it to you! 155 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,053 Why does everybody keep asking me to throw stuff? 156 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,555 SCHMIDT: Work on your aim! 157 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,223 This is actually a really good song. Nick, stop singing! 158 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,526 Where are we gonna put this? Put it in the baggie! 159 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,194 Fun Saturday? 160 00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:28,661 No. My bird died. 161 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,199 Well, my mom used to say 162 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:34,067 when a bird dies, 163 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,470 he gets another set of wings in heaven, so... 164 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,906 Well, that bird was going straight to hell. 165 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:46,447 Welcome to our home. 166 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,886 I will ask you questions. You will ask me no questions. 167 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,321 In pursuit of that, 168 00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:56,990 I will offer up three personal facts: 169 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,257 I was born in St. Louis, 170 00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:00,259 I have three brothers, two of whom 171 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,928 were killed in separate plane crashes, 172 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,029 and... 173 00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:04,331 I like music. 174 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,999 Good? Good. 175 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,266 Now, let's get started-- 176 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,869 My name is Nick. 177 00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:10,269 Nicholas Miller? 178 00:06:10,302 --> 00:06:12,004 I-I don't... I don't know. 179 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,005 SCHMIDT: Hah! 180 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,274 He's just messing around with you. 181 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,675 He's our resident clown here. 182 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,677 DORADO: Let's keep this simple. 183 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,110 I need to be home in time 184 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,612 to feed my bird. 185 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,781 Oh, God. 186 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,615 (light clattering) 187 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,451 Uh, green grape? Would you like...? 188 00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,786 No, thanks. 189 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:26,720 I already had my grapes. 190 00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,021 Jess! 191 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,288 I got your message. 192 00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:33,159 Where's the freaking me... 193 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:37,697 Play along, or Jess goes to jail. 194 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,399 What are you doing? Hey. 195 00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:40,968 Look, it's my girlfriend Cece. 196 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,636 What's up, Cece? Ah, it's his girlfriend Cece. 197 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,137 WINSTON: Girlfriend? Oh, my goodness, 198 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,137 you guys are back together? 199 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,639 Yeah. No, uh... 200 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:47,875 Like I always say, you can't put 201 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,209 peanut butter and jelly on the same shelf 202 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,744 and expect 'em not to mix. 203 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,446 'Cause somebody got to eat a sandwich. 204 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,980 It's exciting. Yeah, no. 205 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,716 Moving on. Miss Day, 206 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,317 in your own words, please state 207 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,819 why Cadet Bishop would be an asset 208 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,721 to the Los Angeles Police Department. 209 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,490 A few kind words. Known me for a long time. Yeah. 210 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,158 It's your boy Winnie the Bish. Oh! 211 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,326 (light clattering) 212 00:07:06,358 --> 00:07:07,595 I have to go to the bathroom. 213 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,798 WINSTON: If you guys will excuse me 214 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,632 for just one second. 215 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,834 Okay. 216 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:17,137 Will somebody answer the question so I can write it 217 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,473 on the form and we can get on with our lives? 218 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,675 Why would Bishop make a good police officer? 219 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:24,144 Mustache. I'm sorry? 220 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,112 Because, uh, Winston has a mustache. 221 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,980 And, uh, police officers all have mustaches. 222 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,182 No, they don't. Not the ladies. 223 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,685 Unless the ladies want to. 224 00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:32,586 Why can't a lady have a mustache? 225 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,788 She can. And it would look sexy. 226 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,923 Would you like a green grape shoved in your... 227 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,026 given to your mouth? Handed to your mouth? 228 00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:41,360 I'm asking a simple question, 229 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,531 unless you don't think he would be an asset to the LAPD. No, 230 00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,365 he-he would. He definitely would. Yeah, he would. 231 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:49,201 You know, Winston has done plenty for, uh, 232 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:52,605 the, um... community. 233 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,042 He has a little brother at the Boys & Girls Club. 234 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,877 Of course. All the work that Winston does 235 00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:59,112 with the Boys & Girls Club that he actually does in real life. 236 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,281 COACH: So much work at the Boys & Girls Club. Yeah. So passionate. 237 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,783 What was his little brother's name again? 238 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,552 Duke. Juan. 239 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,119 Duquan is his name. Duquan. 240 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,687 Duquan. Duquan. 241 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,523 And I'm Nick Miller. 242 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,158 Hey, let me ask you s... um... 243 00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:12,526 Hmm? 244 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,560 Breasts. 245 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,295 It's my cycle. Already? 246 00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:17,898 Damn, girl. My calendar is way off on you. 247 00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,966 You must be, what, like, ten days early? 248 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,903 Aw, Winston. Someday you're gonna make some lucky girl 249 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,805 really uncomfortable. Can you go get Cece 250 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,173 and tell her to meet me in the bathroom? 251 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,475 Sure. And, girl, uh, you ain't got a cycle-- 252 00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:30,143 you got a roller coaster. 253 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,144 (chuckles) Don't I know it, girl? Mm-hmm. 254 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,181 (growls, chuckles) 255 00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:35,883 Duquan Feldman? 256 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:38,918 I'm gonna make a note to call the Boys & Girls Club. 257 00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:40,386 No! Why not? 258 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,556 Uh, because he's coming here. 259 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,924 Why would... why would Duquan come-come here? 260 00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:46,259 Because he comes here every Saturday. 261 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,095 He does? Then where is he? 262 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,764 Huh? It's Saturday. Where is he? 263 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,198 He's at the bus station. He's waiting for, uh, 264 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:55,001 one of us to get him, and, uh... 265 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,738 You know what? I'll go do it. You guys stay put. 266 00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:59,940 You're gonna go and get Duquan? 267 00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:01,609 I think so. 268 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,410 Yeah. 269 00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:05,946 You guys, anybody want to... 270 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,447 come... with? No? 271 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:20,760 (sighs) Where are you, Duquan? 272 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:22,730 Hey. Cece, Jess needs some help 273 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,130 with some lady stuff. Of course. 274 00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:24,965 You know how we do. (chuckles) 275 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:25,966 SCHMIDT: Whoof... 276 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,466 Gonna... 277 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,802 Must be a rough one. You know what, 278 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,303 I'm gonna have a look around. 279 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:33,139 What a great i... You know what, you should start 280 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,442 with Nick and I's room. We share it. 281 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:38,144 Hey, don't mind the condoms. We've been banging like rabbits. 282 00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:40,913 Not each other. 283 00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:42,915 What are you doing? Jessica. 284 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,384 No, Jessica! What are you doing? You do not put drugs 285 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,154 down the shower drain. Have you never seen a drug movie before? 286 00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:50,758 I don't know. I saw Ray. That does not count. 287 00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:54,161 I might have ruined Winston's chances of being a cop. Well, we can cry 288 00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:57,330 about that later. We are gonna take the drugs now and we're gonna go flush 'em, all right? 289 00:09:57,364 --> 00:10:00,167 What are you doing? Come on. Help me. Pick up the drugs, Jess. 290 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,902 I think that the meth entered my bloodstream 291 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,336 through my boob skin. That is not a thing. 292 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,772 That's not how drugs work. I'm the one 293 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:08,107 on meth! Don't tell me how drugs work! 294 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,542 Okay. 295 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,081 (toilet gurgling) 296 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,381 Oh, my God. 297 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,754 (exhaling anxiously) 298 00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:21,754 Could you open this trunk? 299 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,322 Oh, I'll do more than open it. 300 00:10:23,355 --> 00:10:25,625 I don't know why I said that. 301 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:29,028 I'm gonna open the trunk. 302 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,663 (whispers): I think I'm having a heart attack. 303 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,799 What are you... Oh, my God. 304 00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,034 You're a mess. Here. 305 00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:37,437 Cover up. Cover... No, I'm not putting that... I'm not putting 306 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,639 on your kimono. It legitimizes you owning it. Just put it on. 307 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:40,774 Put it on. Okay. 308 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,442 I'm wearing a kimono. 309 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,010 I see that. Why? 310 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:46,379 Why? Why is he still wearing pants? That's the real question. 311 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,749 (creaking, clanging) What's all that going on out there? 312 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,118 I'm on drugs. 313 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,886 I'm on drugs... 314 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,326 What's all that clanging? 315 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,961 Uh, just a bunch of clanging. 316 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,562 Well, there's feminine issues... 317 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,297 It's probably the ladies playing with their jewelry. 318 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,734 Their brooches. You know how... Brooches. Of course. 319 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,301 Nick makes a very good point. 320 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,635 I'm gonna go check on that right now, actually. 321 00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:11,571 Uh, Winston, 322 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:12,304 why don't you show the good sergeant 323 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,841 Jess' room? What? 324 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:14,807 What a great idea. Oh, I've had 325 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:15,808 intercourse in there. 326 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,409 You'll be excited to... 327 00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:22,481 I think I'm gonna take off, too. Nick, what is going on out there? 328 00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:24,083 What's going on out there? No, I'm asking you what's going on. 329 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:25,585 Hmm? What's going on? 330 00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:30,123 (grunting quietly) 331 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,927 It's gonna be okay. 332 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,830 Hey, what happened to the "turlet"? 333 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,664 Schmidt, you're here. So we're in a little bit 334 00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:40,366 of a thing right now, but you're our best cleaner. 335 00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,601 We might be out of towels, but you'll figure out something. 336 00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,504 Right? It's gonna be fun. Jess, 337 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,873 are you crying right now? I don't know. 338 00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:47,173 I hadn't noticed. Um... (sniffles) 339 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,876 I might be on drugs. You gonna help mop 340 00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:51,278 or are you just gonna try to kiss me again? Oh, please. 341 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,046 You kissed me back. Your... I felt 342 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,447 your lips surrender. And who's this Paul anyway? Paul. 343 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,950 What, does he work in a pizzeria? Yes, Schmidt, 344 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,851 I went on a date with a guy named Paul. 345 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:01,620 You just need to get over it. Paul. Paul. Nice name, dude. 346 00:12:01,653 --> 00:12:03,722 Why is your shirt off? I've seen New Jack City, okay? 347 00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,625 They all take their shirts off in the crack cocaine lab! 348 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,927 Ah, it won't go down! 349 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,129 Hats off to the hillbilly that made this meth. 350 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:09,962 Meth? 351 00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:12,131 What meth? 352 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,966 This meth. 353 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,302 It's... legal meth. 354 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,304 It's... medical meth. 355 00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:20,841 For my... cramps. 356 00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:25,177 Wait a minute. Who's with Nick? 357 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:30,783 * I took my love and I took it down * 358 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,986 * I drove around and I hit a pound * 359 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:37,456 * And I saw all the puppies with their * 360 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,025 * Eyes so blind... 361 00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:45,832 Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick! Sergeant Dorado, don't listen to him! He's deranged! 362 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,299 I'm gonna talk to this man alone. 363 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,668 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 364 00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:50,736 That is not good. 365 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:51,437 No. 366 00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:54,106 So, this Paul... 367 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,844 I've never seen someone sweat so much 368 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,645 in my life. It looks like your body is crying. 369 00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:01,148 What are you hiding? 370 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,750 Distraction! 371 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,086 Okay. You're a tough cookie. 372 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,020 And that's the last thing I'll say. 373 00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:10,023 Look... Okay, you want the truth? I'll tell you everything. 374 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,125 When I was 13 years old, 375 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,995 I once made love to myself behind a post office. 376 00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:18,697 Oh. 377 00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:20,533 Hey! 378 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,701 (honks horn) Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! 379 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,303 Yo! What's up? You in the shorts. 380 00:13:24,336 --> 00:13:27,106 Hey, come here, man. Come here. I need a little boy. 381 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,708 (chuckles) Whoa. No. That's not what I meant. No, no, no. 382 00:13:29,741 --> 00:13:31,211 I didn't mean... You know what I'm... Ah. 383 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,113 I wasn't trying to... 384 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,115 It's for my friend, you know? 385 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,549 I need you to come over to, uh, hang out with my friends. 386 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,888 No, not like that. I just need you to pretend 387 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,889 like, uh, you're in a relationship 388 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:46,625 with this grown man that I know. Ah! Ah! Uh, I did not 389 00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:48,161 think this through. Did not think this through. 390 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,962 Um, bad decision. Very bad decision. 391 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,198 I'm gonna go now. Don't remember my face. 392 00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,134 Forget this face. This didn't happen. 393 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,802 What is wrong with the name Paul, okay? 394 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,736 Paul is a normal name. He is a normal guy. 395 00:13:57,769 --> 00:13:59,005 That is the problem, okay? 396 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:01,073 You shouldn't be with a normal guy. 397 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:04,476 All right, okay. 398 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,214 It was Mark-Paul Gosselaar. 399 00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:10,417 What? You... you were... you were with Zack Morris? 400 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,153 Mm-hmm. Guy's a frigging god. 401 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,188 I mean, all right. I've... I surrender. 402 00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,591 That's awes... Can I come to the wedding? 403 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,094 (laughs) You think Slater and Screech are gonna be there? 404 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:24,197 (laughing): I'm kidding. I just wanted to see you freak out. (sighs) 405 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,432 You really had me going there for a second. 406 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,268 (laughing) It works every time with you. 407 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,869 It's amazing. Now... 408 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:33,273 There was a real second there where I had bad feelings 409 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,942 towards Mark-Paul Gosselaar, 410 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,244 and I didn't like any moment of that. 411 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:40,279 How dare you. Don't ever do that to me again. 412 00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:41,548 When I was nine years old, 413 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,883 I fed cereal flakes to a frog, and it died. 414 00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,286 Then I went into a period of time 415 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:48,288 where I fed cereal flakes to all little animals. 416 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,290 Squirrels can live through it, chipmunks can live through it. 417 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,125 Anything that lives half in and out of water dies, 418 00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,793 and I don't understand why. 419 00:14:54,826 --> 00:14:57,297 When I was ten, I once walked by my mother sleeping, 420 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,932 and I snuck in the room, and I put a lemon in her mouth. 421 00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:03,470 When I was 11, I once tried on my girl cousin's wool tights, 422 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,938 and I didn't hate the way it felt! 423 00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,307 Why are you telling me this? 424 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,942 Because you said you wanted to hear everything! 425 00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,144 My sixteenth year, I never got an erection. 426 00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:12,912 I thought they were done. 427 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,148 I thought my penis was dead. 428 00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,615 It wasn't. 429 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,317 It's fine, Winston. We can fix this. 430 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,153 Just help me mule this crank. 431 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,653 I'll prepare, you mule. 432 00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,423 I can't mule crank. I don't have the system. 433 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,926 It's the perfect plan. I don't think it is. 434 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,628 Jess, do you know how much time we could get 435 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,797 for possessing this much meth? Why'd you hide it from me? 436 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,332 I was trying to protect you. I should've been the first person you told! 437 00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,168 I could've taken care of it, or something. 438 00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,336 Now it just looks like we're hiding it. I just... 439 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,672 I didn't... I didn't think there was anything you could do. 440 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,209 And-and why is that? 441 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:46,278 Because... I don't know! 442 00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,615 Because you don't see me as a cop. None of you do. 443 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:53,153 I didn't... I didn't think you'd make it this far. 444 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,821 We always thought you'd change your mind. 445 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,322 I mean... 446 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:59,192 you say a prayer every time you get on a escalator. 447 00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,826 Why risk it? I just... 448 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:05,664 never really saw you as a... as a cop. 449 00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:08,201 Sorry. 450 00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:10,403 Oh, there it is. 451 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,375 Okay. Okay. 452 00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:19,178 You know what? I know exactly what I have to do. 453 00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,548 I'm gonna tell her it's mine. What?! No. No. 454 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,551 Yes. Maybe I'm not supposed to be a cop. 455 00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:27,187 There's no reason you should lose your job, too. 456 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,557 I once changed a sign that said "Happy Jewish New Year" 457 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,393 to "Happy Newish Jew Year." 458 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,727 Is that a hate crime? Stop talking, stop sweating. 459 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:38,730 What is wrong with you people?! Enough! 460 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,567 Sarge, I have something I need to tell you. 461 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,568 Wait! Sergeant! 462 00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,071 My name is Jessica Day, 463 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,905 and this is my meth. DORADO: What?! 464 00:16:46,938 --> 00:16:49,076 Jess, No. I won't accept that. So... 465 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,311 The bathroom is covered in meth. 466 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,413 Meth that belongs to me. 467 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,649 And it may have intoxicated me 468 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,751 through the skin on my breasts. 469 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:03,090 But I assure you, no one here had 470 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,592 any prior knowledge of any of this. 471 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,394 Especially Winston. 472 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:10,762 And I don't want him to go down for my mistake. 473 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,865 You'd be lucky to have him as a cop. 474 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:18,637 Take me downtown to the all-lady fur factory. 475 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:22,241 Okay, cuff me. 476 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,875 Somebody bring me handcuffs. I'm guilty. 477 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,577 Is she cuffing me? 478 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,114 I can't see what's going on up there. 479 00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:28,448 Do you feel anything? 480 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,282 Does meth make you feel, like, normal, 481 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:33,920 but, like... like your face feels, like, scratchy? 482 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:36,989 Oh, no, that's just the carpet on my face. 483 00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,295 Here's the way this is gonna go down. 484 00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,962 I'm gonna go in the bathroom, have a look around. 485 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,298 You will stay here. 486 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:47,299 You will not move, 487 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,901 you will not talk, 488 00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,302 you will not think 489 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:54,173 unless they're thoughts about not moving. 490 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,645 Winston, I'm so sorry. 491 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,314 I ruined everything. 492 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,583 You would have been such a good cop. 493 00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:05,484 You would have made someone really lucky 494 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,153 to have you as a partner. 495 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:10,156 I always imagined I'd have a partner named Robertson. 496 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,923 That would have been perfect. Yeah. 497 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,559 "Robertson, you're on the edge! 498 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,461 You've gone too far!" No, no, no. 499 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,497 See, the thing about me and Robertson is that we're tight. 500 00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:19,065 You know, then I went ahead and slept with his wife. 501 00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,633 Why would you do that? I don't know why... 502 00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,101 I don't know why I would do that. 503 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,470 The job really gets to you. 504 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:25,672 You know, it's stressful out there. 505 00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:27,507 This might not be the right moment but... 506 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:30,343 for what it's worth, I did it. 507 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,943 I kept a secret. SCHMIDT: Well, congratulations, Nick. 508 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,480 You have the willpower of a six-year-old. 509 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,415 Oh, thank you. 510 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,484 I'm sorry about the whole kissing thing. 511 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,452 Oh, you don't have to apologize. 512 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:44,656 I did... kiss you back a little. 513 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:47,794 So, should we tell Paul together? 514 00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:49,996 Oh. Well, what do you think he's doing right now? 515 00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,530 Do you think he's explaining to the air-brusher 516 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,165 that that really is his name? Paul? 517 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,534 And that he wants that painted 518 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,368 across the back of his denim jacket? 519 00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:57,804 It's a normal name. 520 00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:00,339 (whispering): Hey, Nick? 521 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:05,511 When I'm in prison, write, dance, sing... 522 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:08,381 live your life. 523 00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:10,182 And if you come and visit me in jail, 524 00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:12,151 please don't wear that robe. 525 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:13,553 It's a kimono. 526 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,622 Well, this is a first. 527 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,525 These are aquarium rocks. 528 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,227 So, that's the street name for... 529 00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,461 No. These are actual aquarium rocks. 530 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,896 You were trying to flush rocks down your toilet. 531 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,365 Oh, what?! Oh. 532 00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:27,567 Oh, that's ridiculous. 533 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,836 That's great! Yes! Awesome! 534 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:30,903 So we're not going to prison? 535 00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:32,070 (Cece laughing) 536 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,405 So, did Winston pass the background check? 537 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,907 Of course. He's one of our best cadets. 538 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:41,314 His test scores are high, he's passionate, hardworking. 539 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,282 He's gonna make one hell of a cop. 540 00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:46,051 But he won't work in narcotics. 541 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,686 You get to be a cop! 542 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,887 Yay! 543 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,088 (all chatting happily) 544 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,590 Congrat... congrat... Congratulate... 545 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,559 Really? No, we're celebrating Winston. 546 00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,595 Celebrating Winston. Okay. All right, we'll celebrate Winston. 547 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,396 Oh. Yeah. 548 00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,598 Excuse me. Please consider moving. 549 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:00,700 I have no idea 550 00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:02,769 why you live with these people. 551 00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,605 What kind of person would urinate on an electrical socket? 552 00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:08,441 I... I thought it would make lightning. 553 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,108 I told you that wouldn't work, Nick. COACH: Hey! 554 00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:13,512 Guess who's here like he normally is every Saturday! 555 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,948 It's Duquan! 556 00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,384 Big brother Wimstons. 557 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:19,951 Oh. 558 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,921 I love you, Mr. Wimstons. 559 00:20:21,953 --> 00:20:24,624 I go from no hope to hope. 560 00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:28,126 He take me and he says to me, "You're gonna be somebody. 561 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,462 "You-You could be the presidents, 562 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,464 or Statues of Liberties." 563 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,534 Is that right? We make homework togethers. 564 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,135 He buys me toys, and we chase each others, 565 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,070 and we laugh at the sun. 566 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,112 This feels good, man. 567 00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:47,113 Yeah. 568 00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:48,315 Like I got a new friend. 569 00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,048 Me, too. Duquan. 570 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,817 Right. Hanging out. 571 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,420 It's Jose, so... 572 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:55,654 Yeah, I like Duquan, though. 573 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,457 Yeah, but my name's Jose. 574 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:58,657 Like outlet malls? 575 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,159 I love outlet malls. Ah, me, too, man. 576 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,493 Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. 577 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:02,828 On the weekend, though? Mm. 578 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,797 Yeah, but I mean, I have a strategy, you know. 579 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:05,998 Like, I start out with a smoothie, 580 00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,467 and then do my leg stores first. 581 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,736 Then, I... Yeah. I do the same, but I end it with pretzel. 582 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,670 Pretzel. I... Shut up. 583 00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:12,605 Cinnamon pretzel? Oh, my God. 584 00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:14,406 Dude, don't, don't, don't. No, you don't. 585 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,808 No, you don't. You want to play a tickle game? 586 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:19,811 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org