1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,304
We're all adults.
What's the harm?

2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,540
We can do this with dignity,

3
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:10,077
self-restraint
and, dare I say, honor.

4
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,978
The game is True American.

5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,881
One, two, three, four, JFK!

6
00:00:13,913 --> 00:00:16,184
OTHERS:
FDR!

7
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:17,718
King of the castle, baby!

8
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,152
Grover Cleveland round!

9
00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:20,721
Non-consecutive shots!

10
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:21,989
(all shouting)

11
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:22,922
Sorry.

12
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:26,227
Welcome to Ellis Island, folks.

13
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,495
You're a Bill,
Ah!

14
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,329
you're a George,

15
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,099
you're a Bill.
Ah.

16
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,899
You're Greek. Get out of here!

17
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:34,067
What? Why am I Greek?

18
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:35,168
You're a Greek.
Get out of here!

19
00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:36,369
Get out of here.
And you...

20
00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:37,871
(moans)
He's got

21
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,606
the plague! Scatter!
Oh!

22
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,040
Hello!

23
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:44,744
(all shouting)

24
00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:46,713
Taft just sat on you!

25
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,219
My name is Eli Whitney,
and I created the cotton gin.

26
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,622
COACH, JESS AND CECE:
Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin!
Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin!

27
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:57,490
Gin! Gin! Gin! Oh!
(gags)

28
00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:01,762
(snoring)

29
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,198
Oh, God.

30
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,433
* Who's that girl?

31
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,902
* Who's that girl? *
* It's Jess.

32
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:17,076
(groans) Son of a...
(moans)

33
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,612
(slurred):
Jessica, did we die?

34
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,483
No. Alive.

35
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:23,484
Shh...

36
00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:25,319
Turkey bacon.

37
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,754
Mm.
That's nice.

38
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:30,158
(slurred):
That's ni, Nick.
That's ni.

39
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,127
N...
(moans)
Get sleep.

40
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:36,096
(speaking incoherently)
Yeah.

41
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:37,897
(smacking lips)
Help me up.

42
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:40,734
I'm trying.

43
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:44,438
You're too...
(mumbling)

44
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:46,507
You drink
some water.

45
00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:50,144
Aw, son of a... bitch,
the water fell on the ground.

46
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:52,246
(groans)
Here. Here you go.

47
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,515
Drink the water. That's good.

48
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,116
(sucking)

49
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,451
(phone ringing)
No.
Oh, no.

50
00:01:58,485 --> 00:01:59,753
No.
Oh, make
it stop.

51
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,822
Jessica, make it stop.
No!

52
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,691
(groans)

53
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,525
Oh.
(moans)

54
00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:07,927
Hello.

55
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,163
Jess, where are you?
It's Jacob's first birthday.

56
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,664
You're his godmother,
I need you here.

57
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,100
Sir, hi. Who are you?

58
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,503
This is a private residence.

59
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,338
I'll be right there.

60
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,973
(groans, exhales)

61
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:23,877
(hoarsely):
Hey, Nick. It's me, Jess.

62
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,445
I have really bad news.

63
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,449
We have to go to
a one-year-old's birthday party.

64
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,518
I'm not interested
in that birthday party.

65
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,186
Thank you for the invitation.

66
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,853
Good night.
(groans)

67
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,855
(groans)
I'm so hungover.

68
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:38,025
Why today?
What?

69
00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:39,460
You think it went bad?

70
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,995
We're your new neighbors.

71
00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:48,801
Um, I think y-your bagel
fell out of your mouth.

72
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:51,504
I'm Jewish.

73
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:54,408
Why didn't you guys tell me
I was still wearing
ladies' sunglasses?

74
00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:57,411
I look like
Magic Johnson's son, EJ.

75
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:58,846
Hey, you guys, I got a problem.

76
00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:01,014
You know that guy
that I'm dating?

77
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,716
Buster, your child bride?

78
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,252
He's 20, okay?
Not that it matters.

79
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,419
Is he smooth all over?
Does he take baths in the sink?

80
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,056
I sent him a bunch
of drunk texts last night.

81
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,990
What?
Mmm.

82
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,526
(sighs)
Oh, dear Lord.

83
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,561
I know.
"I miss

84
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,194
the way that your hands smell"?

85
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,229
Did you write
an entire

86
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,163
Jewel song in here?

87
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,231
Is it from Pieces of You?

88
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,033
You want to buy a rabbit
with him?

89
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,100
This isn't
a text message--

90
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,703
it's a freaking Russian novel.

91
00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:25,072
Okay, well, you know what,
what do I do?
Text him

92
00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:27,240
one of the little yellow men.
The-the emoticons.

93
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:30,510
You know, with the...
with the fa... with the faces.

94
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,346
I hate all of you.

95
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,247
Okay, so
we really

96
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,615
tanked it with those babes.

97
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:35,449
Look, we need
to orchestrate

98
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:36,884
a situation which allows us

99
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,519
to put our best foot forward.

100
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:39,687
That's easy. We help 'em move.
Winston,

101
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,021
Winston... shh.

102
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,890
Why? It makes perfect sense.

103
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,293
Helping a girl move makes
you come off as a doormat,
you know what I mean?

104
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,694
Honey, honey,
honey, just...

105
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,362
listen to Coach.

106
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,598
Baby, look,

107
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,566
let us handle this,
okay? You go help Cece

108
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:53,700
with the text messages.

109
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,201
You know, maybe I will.
Okay.

110
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,471
But only because I really do
enjoy helping people.

111
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,473
You're gonna be
great, buddy.

112
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,908
You're gonna do good things,
man.

113
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,242
You think
we were too harsh on him?

114
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:04,312
He makes you. He does.

115
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,280
Don't blame yourself.

116
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,316
(groans)

117
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,552
How the hell did this happen?
(Jess groans)

118
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,722
I found some things
and I put them on.

119
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,591
(groans)
Throw this on.
Mm.

120
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,793
Okay. That'll do it.
Cover up the tops.

121
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,495
You look great.

122
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:25,165
(crying)
No.

123
00:04:25,197 --> 00:04:28,067
I couldn't have done it
without you.
No, you're...

124
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,069
you're getting emotional. You do
this when you're hungover,

125
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,639
but I'm gonna need you
to stay focused

126
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:32,973
so we can get to that party.

127
00:04:33,005 --> 00:04:35,509
Yeah. We just need the gift.
Yeah.

128
00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:36,310
I got the gift.

129
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:37,345
All right.

130
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:40,848
Why is it in the box?
It's supposed to be out

131
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,615
of the box, assembled.

132
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,250
I said I would put it together
before the party,

133
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:45,819
and it's before the party.
So what's the problem?

134
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,286
Just give me

135
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,689
five minutes.

136
00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:50,524
(pieces clatter)

137
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:53,293
Ten minutes, tops.

138
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,329
But I got this thing.

139
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,831
This is it.

140
00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,834
Christmas morning.

141
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,870
Our little guy

142
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,605
waiting
by the fireplace,

143
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,374
but there's no gift.

144
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,875
'Cause Daddy's in the other room
putting it together.

145
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,345
Did you say "our" kid?

146
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,781
Yeah, sometimes I think about
what our kid would be like.

147
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,548
(sniffles)
Don't you?

148
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,550
Yeah.

149
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,851
You don't think
about the future?
Can we not

150
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,987
talk about this right
now? Six hours ago,

151
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,290
I was lapping cognac out
of Winston's hands.

152
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,459
Drink it up, Checkers.
Forget what you saw.

153
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,327
Never talk about
anything serious when
you're hungover, Jess.

154
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,963
I don't even really think
about it that much.

155
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,298
I just think about, you know,
passing things. Just...

156
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:35,536
Nothing specific.
We live in a house by a lake.

157
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,036
That sounds pretty specific.
We live in a town

158
00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:38,738
with a sense of history
but not so much history

159
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:41,040
that the locals are suspicious
of new people.

160
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,875
Two small children

161
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:46,012
who are so incredibly creative
they named themselves.

162
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,014
We don't need to discipline the
kids 'cause they're so afraid

163
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,582
of disappointing us.

164
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:51,485
Our house smells like cider.

165
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,019
And if there's
a horse out back,

166
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,355
you're not gonna get
any guff from me.

167
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:58,759
Anyway, that's where I'm at.
(scoffs)

168
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,593
What are you...
what are you thinking?

169
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:02,362
What, um...

170
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,697
Where do you picture us?

171
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:07,100
Where do you...
Nick.

172
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,637
Nick.

173
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,677
Mmm, mmm. Oh, God.

174
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,512
I still feel like crap.

175
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,012
Guys, will you, um,
look at this follow-up text

176
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,548
that I'm sending to Buster,
please?

177
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:24,016
It's for the little boy?
Try to be helpful, okay?

178
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,620
What are we looking at here?
Are those...
nursing cats?

179
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,088
Winston said it was funny.

180
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,456
It's not. It's incoherent.
No.

181
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,257
It's borderline pornographic.
(sighs)

182
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:33,427
Wait, those are not cats.
That's a human man!

183
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,362
Oh!
What is he suck...
what is he sucking on?

184
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:38,098
What Web sites are you going to?
What are you guys doing
out here?

185
00:06:38,130 --> 00:06:39,867
Obviously we're creating
an accidental bump-in

186
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,201
with our hot new neighbors.
Elevator's on the move.

187
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,071
You got to go. You're too hot.
You'll confuse them.

188
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,072
(groans)

189
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,574
(elevator dings)

190
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,576
Yes, well, of course.
It's my garden party,

191
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,911
and Zachary Quinto
is not on the list.

192
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,146
Um, you sure
you can handle that, Winston?

193
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,814
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Ooh. Are you sure?

194
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,216
WINSTON:
I'm fine. I'm fine.

195
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,451
To the right a little bit.
Up right.

196
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,420
Son of a bitch.
WOMAN:
Okay. Thank you so much.

197
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:03,423
We'll get you some nice cold
lemonade after this, okay?

198
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:04,458
Ooh, be careful.

199
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,392
Oh! Good Lord.

200
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,427
You know what, we don't have
to talk about the future.

201
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:11,064
Let's just put this toy
together.
I want to talk about the future.

202
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,432
Okay. Great. All right.
I would love to talk
about it. Yes, great.

203
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,802
I always thought it would be
cool to be a long-haul trucker.

204
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,271
You want to be a long-haul
trucker with a family?

205
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,108
No, the family would be
in Montana. Or-or Mars Landing,

206
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,310
you know, if the government
finally steps up.

207
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,745
Where is Mars Landing?

208
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,447
Where is Mars Landing?
It's on M... It's on Mars.

209
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,649
It's the American capital
of Mars.

210
00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:30,584
And if you
don't think

211
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,252
there's gonna be space travel

212
00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:34,153
in the next 20 years,
then you've got your head

213
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,023
buried in sand, girlie.

214
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,824
I...
It's already
basically happening.

215
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,860
I always thought
I'd move back to Portland.

216
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,327
Oh.
Portland, Earth?

217
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,096
It's like friendly
San Francisco.

218
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,163
Slow
food,

219
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,197
fast bicycles,

220
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,466
great schools...

221
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,834
Education is
very important to me.

222
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,101
That makes me happy.

223
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,437
It's something we agree on.

224
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,005
I really want my kids
to beg for it.
What?

225
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,507
'Cause if you force a kid into
school, he's gonna hate it.

226
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,509
Oh, no.

227
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:56,944
If you make a kid work

228
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,646
and sit in the yard
and grind and grind

229
00:07:58,678 --> 00:07:59,646
and grind...
What?

230
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,880
...eventually, that little kid

231
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,149
is gonna beg for education.

232
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,382
Then you hand it to them

233
00:08:03,415 --> 00:08:05,619
like the gift that it should be.
No!

234
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,120
That's why
public school's a joke.

235
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,656
I'm so hungover,

236
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,356
and my body's shutting down,

237
00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:13,225
and nothing you're saying
makes any sense.

238
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,326
There is something serious
I have to tell you

239
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,362
about the future.

240
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:19,132
The name of my firstborn child

241
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,168
has to be Reginald VelJohnson.

242
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,735
I lost a bet to Schmidt.

243
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,237
Reginald VelJohnson?

244
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,540
That is non-negotiable.
Unfortunately.

245
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,007
The dad from Family Matters?

246
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,341
Well, the actor
who plays the dad.

247
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:30,577
The dad is Carl Winslow.

248
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,011
What was the bet on?

249
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,413
I said I could flip
a big pancake...

250
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,115
(laughing):
...and I couldn't.

251
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,352
(muffled):
How is this going to work?!

252
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:41,889
The only upside is

253
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:45,091
the original name
was gonna be Ass Baby,

254
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,827
and I kind of talked my way
out of that one.

255
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,697
All of the guys in this building
are so sweet.

256
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:50,998
It's no problem, yeah.
Couldn't be easier,
really.

257
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,432
Just a p...
piece of cake.

258
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,768
COACH:
We love it.

259
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,604
You know, it was my idea
to help move.
The only reason

260
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,171
we're doing this is
because you forced us to.

261
00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,438
If we don't help now,
we'll look bad.

262
00:08:59,471 --> 00:09:00,941
Yeah, now they're
gonna think of us

263
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,875
as "nice" and "helpful."
Nightmare.

264
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,443
Hey.

265
00:09:04,476 --> 00:09:05,544
Hey.

266
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,513
COACH:
Oh, cool!

267
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,548
Uh... your
brother?

268
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:09,515
Actually, it's my boyfriend.

269
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,283
Yet he's not here

270
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:12,552
to help you move.

271
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,354
He's out of the country.
Oh!

272
00:09:14,386 --> 00:09:15,788
Afghanistan.
Second tour.

273
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,423
Ah...
Oh...

274
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:18,692
Please thank
him for,

275
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,059
uh, for his
service.
Yeah.

276
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,695
Are you and your boyfriend

277
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,730
and Michelle and her boyfriend
gonna go on a, like,

278
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,065
double date
kind of thing

279
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:26,566
whenever he gets back
from Afghanistan?

280
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,934
She doesn't have a boyfriend.

281
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:29,702
She's not really
the relationship type.

282
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,803
Oh.
Okay.

283
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,538
I'm just having fun right now.

284
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,607
I feel you.
No, I feel you.
(laughs)

285
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:35,942
Girl, I want
to feel you...

286
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:37,210
And then
there was one.

287
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,078
May the best man win.

288
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:40,379
I am also
involved in this.
Winston, get out of here.

289
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,914
What is your problem?

290
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,582
And then there were
three guys...

291
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:44,918
JESS:
Here's what I'm saying:

292
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,886
Reginald is
way too shy

293
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,088
to beg for
an education.

294
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:51,323
He's very sensitive,
and when he's out on the horse,

295
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,059
all he's doing is
staring at leaves

296
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,461
and writing poems about them.

297
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,163
Why do I have a horse?
You know how many

298
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,065
people are killed on
a horse every year?
Hey!

299
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,932
You're not listening
to what I'm saying.

300
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,567
What I'm saying is,

301
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,105
I'm not gonna take Reginald
out on the damn lake

302
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,573
when you're out on
your space truck...

303
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:09,643
We're not living by the lake.
(exasperated sigh)

304
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,144
Why would I spend my hard-earned

305
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,846
truck driver money
on an Earth house?

306
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,847
You make up so much
science fiction...
Science...

307
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,917
...but you know
nothing about science.

308
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,418
Do you know what
science is?
Okay, science
is more of a belief

309
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,486
than anything else.
No. Do you know
what science is?

310
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,121
Yes. What you
believe in.
Have you ever
taken a science class?

311
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:23,691
I've taught two at
a community college.

312
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:26,259
When did you teach science
at a community college?

313
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,461
I made that up. I didn't think
you were gonna fact-check me.

314
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,697
My kids are not gonna

315
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,298
beg for an education, okay?

316
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,799
They're gonna be forced
to go to school

317
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,201
just like everybody else,

318
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,836
and they're gonna hate it!

319
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,304
Can I actually be very real
with you for a second?

320
00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:39,972
Yes.
Here's what I really believe:

321
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,274
You can
create

322
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,009
a plan for
your life,

323
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,611
and then crazy things
get thrown at you,

324
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:48,682
and that, by the way,
is the closest thing

325
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,317
that I have
to a plan.

326
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,219
So maybe it's crazy
to talk about being

327
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:54,120
an intergalactic
truck driver.

328
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,488
But what I think
is crazier

329
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,889
is trying to plan

330
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,625
every single detail
of our future.

331
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,994
I think it's crazy not to.
I just can't

332
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,863
live that way.
I guess we just disagree.

333
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:05,197
Well, we never agree
on anything, ever, Nick.

334
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,967
Why are we doing this
right now, Jess? We're hungover.
Just because

335
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,070
I want to know we're going
in the same direction,

336
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:11,571
that we're on the same page.
Yes, we are.

337
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,974
Well, we live
on different planets!
Oh...

338
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,908
You're talking
about the fake future!

339
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,212
I just...

340
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,082
I guess we want
different things.

341
00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:24,250
Clearly, we do.

342
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:25,317
Clearly, we do.
All right,

343
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,318
so what are you saying?

344
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,354
Should we just break up?

345
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:39,899
(both laughing)

346
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:42,903
Yeah, right.
Like we're just

347
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,236
gonna
break up!
Just break up!

348
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,504
Over what?

349
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,940
You don't like lakes,

350
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,107
I don't like space.
That's okay!

351
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,743
This is not why people break up!

352
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,778
I break up with thee, sir!

353
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,013
(bad Australian accent):
I break up...

354
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,181
I don't do voices.

355
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,015
I think I'm still drunk.
(laughs)

356
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,183
Let's just get to the party.

357
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:58,551
Build this toy and go.
Yeah.

358
00:11:58,585 --> 00:11:59,787
Let's do it.
We are

359
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:00,921
an unstoppable
toy-building team!

360
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:02,554
Yes, we are.

361
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,191
Yeah.

362
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,457
All right, well, first hurdle:

363
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:06,927
the instructions
are written upside-down.

364
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,428
Ah, it's a
false alarm.

365
00:12:09,461 --> 00:12:10,931
Okay, hit me.
What do you got?

366
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,698
Okay, take
the thing

367
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,533
that looks like
a meth lab
This thing?

368
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,936
...and put it
in the thing

369
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,203
that looks like
a pipe bomb.

370
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,105
Oh, hey!
Hey!

371
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,107
Now we're
cooking with gas.

372
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,775
We're a good team.
I agree.

373
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:23,777
You know what, Jess...
and if you want to move

374
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:25,077
to Portland in the future,

375
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,413
then we're gonna
move to Portland.

376
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:27,880
You know, we'll
live by the lake.

377
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,216
I'll learn to fish,

378
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,283
and me and Reginald
will start

379
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,251
a newsletter,
you know...

380
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:33,720
"Lake Father,
Lake Son."

381
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,955
And you know what?

382
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,389
If you want to be
a long-haul trucker,

383
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,258
I can deal with that
for six months, tops.

384
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,993
Yes!
Um, this piece
is a little sticky,

385
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,995
but I think I can just jam it.
Ah!

386
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,763
What did you just do, Jess?
Oh. Well, I put

387
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,398
the swastika in
the guillotine.

388
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,399
How is this a children's toy?

389
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,769
Why is it so brittle?

390
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,138
What is that?

391
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,005
I'm not sure what
I've been doing.

392
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,673
(sighs)
Hey, Michelle.

393
00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:55,942
Hey.

394
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:57,977
You guys are lifesavers.

395
00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,245
You have beautiful
taste, by the way.

396
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:00,480
Really. Is this
early Californian?

397
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,149
You know,
this color, actually,

398
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,682
it symbolizes
a woman's fertility.

399
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,086
Huh. I was
pregnant once.

400
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,687
Cool.

401
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:08,989
What-what
do you know?
MICHELLE:
Yeah.

402
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,090
Thank you,
guys.
No, thank you.

403
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,658
So much.
You bet.

404
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,961
All right. Talk to you la...
You see her blink at me?

405
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:14,961
Wait, you think
that was a sex blink?

406
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,163
That wasn't a sex blink.

407
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,496
That was definitely
a sex blink, dude.

408
00:13:17,529 --> 00:13:19,466
You would not know a sex blink
if it blinked you in the sex.

409
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,168
What?
It's over
already, man.

410
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,668
You don't
have a shot.

411
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:25,337
'Cause the chicks
you pull are gremlins.

412
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,940
You did not just
talk about my chicks.

413
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,441
My chicks look great.

414
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,509
Just like me.

415
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,011
I'm saying my chicks

416
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:33,880
literally look just like me.
All of 'em.

417
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,148
In varying color,

418
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,383
but they look like me.

419
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,683
That is
super awkward,

420
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,186
and I don't feel
like you know what

421
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,187
you're saying
right now.
Whoops!

422
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,688
Oh...
Coach!

423
00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:43,956
Oh, man, I can't believe

424
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,258
you just did that to her vase.

425
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:47,995
Whoa! Dude!

426
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,229
I will knock you out
where you stand,

427
00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:50,462
and you...
in the ground.

428
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,032
I will pound you from the side!

429
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,665
I will pound you from the back!
That sounded weird.

430
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,302
Once again, Schmidt
has found himself

431
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,470
in a position where
he is infuriated!

432
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,804
I will fight your face!

433
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,539
I will freak out so
hard on you right now,

434
00:14:00,572 --> 00:14:02,142
you don't even know,
on your face.

435
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,475
WINSTON:
What are you two...

436
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,177
Oh, my goodness. Guys!

437
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,580
Her study-abroad mirror?

438
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,048
Her dream vase?

439
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,517
Come on, guys.

440
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,152
(huffs)

441
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,221
Have some self-respect.

442
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,855
We're...

443
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,323
NICK:
Hey, Jess?

444
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:18,991
I don't think
that belongs there.

445
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,826
That's why it doesn't fit in.

446
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,663
Well, I don't think this
water bottle goes here, either.

447
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,097
But you put it there.

448
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,832
Well, why did we take
the toy out of the box?

449
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,368
We could have just given
the box to the kid.

450
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,370
What does he know?
He's one. He eats pennies.

451
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:34,274
And he poos in his pants.
Because not putting the
toy together is lazy.

452
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,842
So, if we can't put the toy
together...
I-I know,
but it's not gonna fit.

453
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:39,178
You can't just keep
pushing it because it...
Oh, God.

454
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,914
Okay, where's the tape?
Oh, we used all the tape.

455
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,451
Oh, you used all the tape.
Yeah, to fix the things
that you broke.

456
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,852
You used a lot of duct tape.
Actually you broke
a lot of pieces.

457
00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,221
(laughs)

458
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:50,057
All right, give it to me.
I'm gonna use a lighter.

459
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,625
And I'm gonna melt the plastic.
I'm gonna weld it together.

460
00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,061
What? You don't think
that's a good idea?

461
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,562
No, you should, I think
you should try it.

462
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,730
I also like doing Zippo tricks.

463
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,870
Ow! Aah, I burned my finger!
What happened?! Are you okay?

464
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:07,274
Yeah, it's fine.
My skin's a little bubbly.

465
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,942
Well, I knew that
was a bad idea.

466
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:09,942
Then why didn't
you say anything?

467
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:11,278
Why didn't you put
the toy together

468
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,613
when I gave it to you
two weeks ago?

469
00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,215
Because I'm not Santa Claus!

470
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,049
I don't just put toys together

471
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,119
two weeks in advance!
And also,

472
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,788
it's none of my business what
they want to do with the toy.

473
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,155
Maybe they want to return it.

474
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,291
Maybe they want to put it

475
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:25,591
together as a family.

476
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,260
That is not my business.

477
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,129
What do you want from me, Jess?

478
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,798
I just want you to take a
little more responsibility.

479
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,133
Just a little bit more.

480
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:34,967
And I want you to have
a little faith in me!

481
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,303
I've gotten this far in my life.

482
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:38,837
And I'm doing just fine.

483
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,075
I mean, for the most part.

484
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,475
There's definitely a few
blunders here and there

485
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,177
that we could look past.

486
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,278
Whatever...

487
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,014
The blanket's on fire!

488
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,948
I can see that, Jess.
Go get a bucket.

489
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:51,018
Where is it? In the kitchen?

490
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:52,019
No, that's for meat.

491
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,153
We need a different bucket.

492
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,153
Oh, right!

493
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,455
The famous meat bucket!

494
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,157
You said the meat bucket
was a brilliant idea!

495
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,691
Why would I think
an unrefrigerated

496
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,628
bucket of meat was a good idea?!

497
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,998
To taste what meat tasted like
before electricity!

498
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,499
Why would you want that?!

499
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:07,933
Why did you say
it was brilliant!?

500
00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:09,969
Because, Nick...

501
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,904
if I was always honest
with you...

502
00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:16,808
...then we would
never stop fighting.

503
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,711
(smoke alarm beeping)

504
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,014
Let's go!
We have to go!

505
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,514
Wait, my hat!

506
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,052
What?
My hat.

507
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,389
So sorry. I'm sorry.
So sorry. Sorry.

508
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:31,990
It was uncool.

509
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:33,192
I'm so sorry!
Do you need...?

510
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,693
Here, do you want...? Oh.

511
00:16:34,726 --> 00:16:37,129
How did this happen?
It was Winston's fault.

512
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,298
He just ca... he carries
things wrong.

513
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,200
What?!

514
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,969
I have heard just
about enough from you two.

515
00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,003
What? Ow!

516
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:45,738
SCHMIDT:
Winston!

517
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,040
Girls, I know you're
both smart enough

518
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,741
to know exactly
who broke your things.

519
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,077
It's the same two clowns

520
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,745
who've been trying
to sex Michelle

521
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,514
every which way
from Tuesday.

522
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,048
I mean, I ain't gonna lie.
I've been trying

523
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:58,184
to sex you every which way
from Tuesday myself.

524
00:16:58,217 --> 00:16:59,385
I'd be crazy not to, Michelle.

525
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:01,354
You're a very beautiful woman.

526
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,889
You have crazy witch eyes,
and I dig it.

527
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,258
You're like a witch!
(laughs): You know.

528
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,059
But I'm a good guy.

529
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,663
Now, if you'll excuse me,

530
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,231
I have a job to do.

531
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,666
My name is Winston Bishop.

532
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,669
Welcome to the building.

533
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,105
Whoa, Winston, I would
not... that's a...
Winston,

534
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:19,939
what are you doing?
That's a big...

535
00:17:19,971 --> 00:17:21,173
(roars)

536
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,041
Okay.
Aah!

537
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:25,877
Oh! Whoa!
(laughs)
Son of a...

538
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,579
Winston, you do know that the
building's on fire, right?

539
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,882
I got this! Move, move!

540
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,117
BUSTER:
Cece, hey.

541
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,618
Oh, hey, um,

542
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,287
I didn't think you would
pick up the phone.

543
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,954
I'll-I'll make this quick.

544
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,390
'Cause I'm sure you hate
talking on the phone.

545
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:39,057
Oh, I actually do.

546
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,626
'Cause I'd much rather,

547
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,261
um, talk in person.

548
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,230
You know? Face to face?

549
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,699
(laughs)
What are you doing here?

550
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,402
I just, I was, uh, walking
over here to see you.

551
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:52,372
Mm-hmm.
And then you called me.

552
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,874
Didn't all those texts
really freak you out?

553
00:17:54,906 --> 00:17:56,209
Oh, no, no, no, no.
They freaked me out.

554
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,777
I thought you were
gonna murder me.

555
00:17:57,809 --> 00:18:00,646
You know, I called my
mother, changed my locks.

556
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,582
Then I kind of, you know,
had a change of heart,

557
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,651
and I thought, "Well, you
know, I like this girl."

558
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:06,286
I'd much rather just come

559
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:07,787
and look at you with my eyes.

560
00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:09,122
And talk to you with my face.

561
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:11,857
If you ever got
off the damn phone.

562
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,228
Yeah.
Right?

563
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,263
I, mm-hmm. I understand.
Hi, Cece. How are you?

564
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,964
Hungover?
Yes.

565
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,900
Would you like to come
and get some pancakes?

566
00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:22,067
Yeah, I could, I could
use some pancakes.

567
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,068
It's gonna be a bouncy ride.

568
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,103
My kangaroo's around the corner.

569
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:25,305
(laughs)

570
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:27,440
But I did bring an extra
helmet. You're lucky.

571
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,974
(grunts)

572
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,711
All right.

573
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,414
Nick, why is this so hard?

574
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,650
I don't want to fight
all the time.

575
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:40,118
I don't know, and it's awful.

576
00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:44,656
Do you ever miss when
we were just friends, Jess?

577
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,492
And there wasn't
this pressure

578
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,493
to be together and to be...

579
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,795
Be different people?
Yes.

580
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:51,163
Be different people.

581
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,765
I'm sorry, but I'm not
that guy who's gonna

582
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,101
put the toy together.
That's just not me.

583
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,635
I'm the kind of guy who's
gonna leave it in the box.

584
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:57,769
I don't want you to be that guy.

585
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,306
I-I want you to be yourself.

586
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:01,307
I want you to be yourself.

587
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,845
Are we...?

588
00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:08,315
(laughs): No!
I love you!

589
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,650
Well, I love you, too.
More than I've
ever loved anybody.

590
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:13,152
But what if that's the only
thing we have in common?

591
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,263
(sniffs)

592
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:29,236
I miss my friend.

593
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,403
I really miss my friend, too.

594
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:36,174
So, what does that mean?

595
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,076
Are we...?

596
00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:40,346
Yeah.

597
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,083
(quiet laugh)

598
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:01,032
(quietly):
Earn this.

599
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,934
Was that Saving Private Ryan?

600
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,404
It was. It was a hu-huge moment
in that movie.

601
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,606
And I just,
I know this is a moment.

602
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,776
(both laugh)

603
00:20:09,808 --> 00:20:12,944
So, um, I'll walk you
to your room then, I guess.

604
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,263
(sniffs)

605
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,339
(sniffs)

606
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,926
Schmidt is living in my room.
Schmidt's in your room, yeah.

607
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:01,928
Yeah.

608
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,996
Do you think I could...?

609
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,964
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's cool.

610
00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:12,171
(door shuts)

611
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,008
Jess?

612
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,744
Jess, you didn't have
to run away.

613
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,579
I don't know
what you're so afraid of.

614
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,650
It's just a man doing full
downward facing dog in the nude.

615
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:27,354
It's a couple of testicles
just hanging upside down.

616
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:28,988
(quiet laugh)

617
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:31,691
I can hear you laughing
in there.

618
00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:33,359
Yeah, you liked it.

619
00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:36,028
You telling Nick about it?

620
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:38,998
What's he saying?

621
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:41,701
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org