1 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:05,222 Damn, man. 2 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:07,181 You look tired. Your eyes are puffy as hell. 3 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:08,182 I'm unwell, 4 00:00:08,224 --> 00:00:09,922 Winston. [sighs] 5 00:00:09,965 --> 00:00:12,316 I'm just torn up about this whole Cece and Elizabeth thing. 6 00:00:12,359 --> 00:00:14,884 I feel so guilty, I can't even look at myself in the mirror. 7 00:00:14,926 --> 00:00:16,233 Do you think that I'm good person? 8 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,192 [Nick grunts]I'm gonna... 9 00:00:18,234 --> 00:00:19,541 Hey, guys, do you guys think that I'm a good person? 10 00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:20,672 You're a terrible person. 11 00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:21,760 It's hilarious.You cheated 12 00:00:21,803 --> 00:00:23,065 on my best friend, Schmidt. 13 00:00:23,109 --> 00:00:26,329 F-Fair enough. Okay. Well, I'm better than Winston. 14 00:00:26,373 --> 00:00:28,637 You're better at things than Winston, but he's a better person. 15 00:00:28,679 --> 00:00:31,117 Winston freakin' stinks!Okay, why am I being dragged into this? 16 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,119 Because I'm mad, Winston. 17 00:00:33,162 --> 00:00:35,078 And I'm tired. 18 00:00:35,121 --> 00:00:37,993 And... I'm a good... 19 00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:39,691 I'm a g... I'm a good man. 20 00:00:39,734 --> 00:00:40,604 Are you crying? 21 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,218 [knocking on door] 22 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,439 I got a package for Nick Miller. 23 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,572 There's nobody here by that name. 24 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,444 [whispers]: I got this. 25 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,445 I saw that. 26 00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,186 Run, Nick! Run!Aah! 27 00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,276 What? Relax, I'm with 28 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,972 your late father's estate. 29 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:01,799 Pop-pop?What? 30 00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:02,713 This is for him. 31 00:01:06,195 --> 00:01:08,198 What's in there? 32 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,590 It's a hand, isn't it? Just tell me if it's a hand. 33 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:11,245 Oh, my God! 34 00:01:11,287 --> 00:01:13,463 It is a hand.It's a... I knew it. 35 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,683 It's a hand. What does that mean, though?What are the odds? 36 00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:18,207 Full of dollar bills, y'all! 37 00:01:18,251 --> 00:01:20,210 You are rich, man! 38 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,515 ♪ Who's that girl? 39 00:01:21,558 --> 00:01:23,126 ♪ Who's that girl?♪ 40 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,388 ♪ Who's that girl? 41 00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,260 ♪ Who's that girl?♪♪ It's Jess. 42 00:01:26,302 --> 00:01:29,263 I can't believe Nick's dad left him $8,000. 43 00:01:29,305 --> 00:01:31,829 I've never seen someone burn through money so fast. 44 00:01:31,873 --> 00:01:34,049 [laughs] I should say something. 45 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,311 Some of these shoes aren't even his size. 46 00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:36,704 Look, Jess, you don't want to talk 47 00:01:36,747 --> 00:01:38,359 to Nick about money, okay? 48 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,317 It is a very touchy subject. 49 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,362 I'm gonna check out this fancy picture place. 50 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,930 Seems like rich guys always have pictures of themselves. 51 00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:48,194 My man. Do you, baby. [chuckles] 52 00:01:48,237 --> 00:01:50,371 I'm gonna be honest with you. Nick owes me 53 00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:53,634 1,900 bucks, so this here is my opportunity to get it back. 54 00:01:53,677 --> 00:01:55,723 JESS: How are you expecting to get your money back 55 00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,725 if he blows it all on stupid stuff? 56 00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:59,728 WINSTON: Oh, don't worry, Jess. I have a plan. 57 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,337 Hey, listen, you know you don't have to con him 58 00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:04,167 if he actually owes you money. You can just ask him. 59 00:02:04,210 --> 00:02:06,343 [laughing] 60 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:11,913 I just told you to ask him for the money. 61 00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:14,872 Smile... [laughing] 62 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,049 NICK: Do the crystals make it look too glamorous? 63 00:02:17,092 --> 00:02:19,181 It's really glamorous.I don't even know. I don't know 64 00:02:19,225 --> 00:02:22,185 what's cool anymore.It could be a good time to start a bank account. 65 00:02:22,228 --> 00:02:24,187 Yeah, or I could just flush it down the toilet. 66 00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:25,667 It's not really the same thing, but... 67 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:28,887 A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls. 68 00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,105 That's all it is. I'm gonna keep 69 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,673 my money where my mouth is. 70 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:34,283 Um, under my nose. 71 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,721 That saying actually does work. 72 00:02:42,248 --> 00:02:44,206 What is that?This is my box. 73 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,599 It's where I keep all my junk 74 00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,384 that I don't feel like dealing with. 75 00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:50,257 That looks like a lot of bills. It's... mostly bills. 76 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,474 Like I said, it's junk. 77 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,259 You know, I'm just brainstorming here, 78 00:02:53,302 --> 00:02:54,564 but what if you paid some of those bills 79 00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,305 with the money you just got? 80 00:02:56,349 --> 00:02:59,091 [laughing]: Yeah. I'm gonna "pay my bill." 81 00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:02,443 And what's next? I'm gonna go to the doctor and get a checkup. 82 00:03:02,485 --> 00:03:04,574 Give them $500 to check my bones. 83 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,229 You're being funny. 84 00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:15,324 So, yeah, I was dating both of them at the same time. 85 00:03:15,368 --> 00:03:18,588 I'm a mess. I can't sleep. I urinate constantly. 86 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:21,896 I cried the other day listening to a techno song. 87 00:03:21,939 --> 00:03:23,854 My tweets have been extremely literal. 88 00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,466 Were the girls Jewish? 89 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,467 One Indian, one regular. Do you want to see a picture? 90 00:03:27,510 --> 00:03:29,252 I-I don't even know why you're here. 91 00:03:29,295 --> 00:03:31,862 You come in and say, "Do you have a minute?" 92 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,735 Okay, I'm-I'm sorry, Rabbi. It's just that... 93 00:03:33,777 --> 00:03:36,824 Okay, it's much more simple. [sighs] 94 00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,609 How can I be a better person? 95 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,480 Oh. 96 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,961 Well, you seem awfully concerned with yourself. 97 00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:46,050 You might want to start thinking about the needs of others. 98 00:03:46,094 --> 00:03:47,313 I think about others all the time. 99 00:03:47,356 --> 00:03:49,140 What-what I can get from them, 100 00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,272 how they can give me pleasure, 101 00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,274 do they have a silly little walk 102 00:03:51,317 --> 00:03:53,188 that I can make fun of?No, th-that's... 103 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,888 It's where you actually care about somebody else. 104 00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:59,500 You put theirneeds ahead of your own. 105 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,457 This is one of the few times that I wish I was Catholic. 106 00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:04,373 Couple Hail Marys and I'd be off the hook. 107 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,157 Huh? 108 00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:09,117 [car horn beeping] 109 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:10,814 [tires screech, woman screams, bike clatters] 110 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,298 Oh, God. Whoa. 111 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,430 Are you choking? You're choking. Okay. 112 00:04:17,473 --> 00:04:20,521 Uh... What, are you biking and eating? 113 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,305 All right, I got you, I got you. 114 00:04:22,348 --> 00:04:24,437 [grunts] Come on! Live! Live! 115 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:25,874 Live, biker![gasps] 116 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,745 Ew. Yeah!Thank you. 117 00:04:27,788 --> 00:04:29,137 You saved my life. 118 00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:30,574 What? 119 00:04:30,617 --> 00:04:32,183 You saved my life. 120 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,709 You saved my life. 121 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,319 [panting]: Thank you... Thank you... 122 00:04:36,362 --> 00:04:38,321 I did. Yes. 123 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,322 Yes! 124 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,891 Yes! Dude! 125 00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:45,937 This is exactly what I needed. Oh, my God. 126 00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:48,199 Let us rejoice in song. 127 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:50,725 ♪ Sh'ma Yis'ra'eil Please call 911. 128 00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:54,380 ♪ Adonai Eloheinu Please call 911. I'm hurt. 129 00:04:54,423 --> 00:04:55,903 Oh, yeah, no, that's a great idea.Please. 130 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,557 I'm gonna call 911.[moans] 131 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,124 Hope you don't have a dance recital later. 132 00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:00,995 I'm just kidding. Don't look at your legs. 133 00:05:01,038 --> 00:05:02,475 [moaning] 134 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:03,694 [quietly]: That's, uh, $900 135 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,565 to the Parking Authority of Los Angeles. 136 00:05:05,608 --> 00:05:09,047 Oh, is it okay to mail cash? 137 00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,483 I'm gonna do it anyway. 138 00:05:10,526 --> 00:05:12,180 All right, it's on its way. 139 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,494 Sliders are beautiful.I know, man. 140 00:05:20,536 --> 00:05:23,018 I knew you would think that.I love 'em, dude. 141 00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:24,324 That's why I made 'em. 142 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:27,805 What is that? 143 00:05:27,848 --> 00:05:30,372 Brotherhood. Brotherhood, man. 144 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,505 All right, man. I respect you, man, no matter what. 145 00:05:32,548 --> 00:05:33,637 That's what it's about, man. 146 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,422 Yeah, and, um... 147 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,641 in the spirit of brotherhood-- 148 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,512 just 'cause we on that level right now-- I was just thinkingYeah. 149 00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:42,428 maybe, I don't know, um...Anything, man. Shoot. 150 00:05:42,471 --> 00:05:44,081 Oh, man. 151 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,649 Maybe you can just pay me back that money that you owe me. 152 00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,913 Remember? 'Cause you owe me that money...? 153 00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,961 Uh, Nick? Nick? Oh... 154 00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:57,007 Nick? Nick? Hey, Nick. Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick...?Oh, you stink! 155 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,488 Um, can we...? You son of... 156 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:02,536 You son of a bitch, Winston!Can we... Whoa! 157 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:03,406 That's what this is about?! 158 00:06:03,449 --> 00:06:04,886 Nick, it's my money, okay?! 159 00:06:04,928 --> 00:06:06,408 Give it back to me! 160 00:06:06,452 --> 00:06:08,237 I make a little bit of money and you come 161 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:09,759 slipping out of the "woodword"! 162 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,545 You mean "woodwork"? 163 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:12,762 What is "woodwork"?! 164 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:13,764 What's "woodword"?! 165 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,286 Wood! Word! Wood! Word! 166 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,463 [groans]That's where people like you 167 00:06:16,505 --> 00:06:17,680 come crawling out of 168 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,290 when people like me have money! 169 00:06:19,334 --> 00:06:21,076 But you owe me that money!Stay out of my damn box 170 00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,252 is the point!I'm not in your box! 171 00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:25,427 Jess gets it, right? 172 00:06:25,471 --> 00:06:27,211 Yeah, what's... What the hell, dude? 173 00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:29,127 I'm gonna go to the bar to blow off some steam. 174 00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:30,651 That's a great idea. Go get loaded. 175 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,653 You deserve it. Black out. 176 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,959 You are the only one that I trust around here. 177 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,326 Oh... 178 00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:57,372 [hoots] 179 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,201 You went through Nick's box. 180 00:07:03,726 --> 00:07:05,163 Look, it was so much worse than I thought. 181 00:07:05,206 --> 00:07:07,035 Why does he have the deed[chuckling] 182 00:07:07,077 --> 00:07:09,646 to an old Mercury Cougar in there?Oh, yeah, he lost that. 183 00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:11,692 For crying out loud, where is it? We've been looking for hours. 184 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,694 It's done.What about your car, Nick? 185 00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:17,132 I said it's done. 186 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,177 I'll just get the money back.Oh, yes. 187 00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:21,615 Bill collectors are reasonable people, right?That makes sense. 188 00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,268 You better keep your mouth shut, Winston! 189 00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:25,531 I'll make you a deal. I'll keep my mouth shut 190 00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:27,750 if you pay me the money Nick owes me. 191 00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:31,101 Are you trying to blackmail me? 192 00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:33,627 [grunts] 193 00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:36,194 You don't scare me, Jess. 194 00:07:36,237 --> 00:07:38,153 [shouting] 195 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,721 [both shouting] 196 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:41,851 God. 197 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,375 How much does Nick owe you? 198 00:07:43,418 --> 00:07:46,901 $1,900. [splutters] 199 00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:49,425 Yeah, but what is money anyway? 200 00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:52,601 You know, it's just paper that some king on the mountains 201 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,691 said was worth something. 202 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:57,389 You know? Gold, I understand. 203 00:07:57,432 --> 00:08:00,958 It's shiny and you can make jewelry out of it. 204 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,742 Silver? 205 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:06,180 Put a werewolf in front of me, he's dead. 206 00:08:06,223 --> 00:08:09,314 Brass creates the bells 207 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:12,100 that make sound throughout the land. 208 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:15,668 But we kill each other for paper. 209 00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:18,584 I gotta tell you, man, that's sad. 210 00:08:18,627 --> 00:08:21,978 You give me $50, I'll show you my private parts. 211 00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:24,939 [laughs, splutters] 212 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,550 Nicholas, good yontef. 213 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,596 Are you well? 214 00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:30,726 No, but good yontef. 215 00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,250 You know, I'm all steamed up. 216 00:08:32,293 --> 00:08:34,600 This money thing is tearing me apart, Schmidt. 217 00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,777 All right, well, if it's bothering you that much, why don't you just give it away? 218 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,255 Son of a bitch! 219 00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:40,128 Not, not to me, Nick, to charity, 220 00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,129 or tzedakahas my people call it. 221 00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,697 That's what your people do?Yeah. 222 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,177 You beautiful genius. [laughs] 223 00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:48,615 I like that. That frees me of my worries. 224 00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,399 Oh, look at that! Another mitzvah! I'm two for two today. 225 00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,619 Yeah! Mitzvah!Nice. I saved a man. 226 00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,359 Oh, my God.You know, there was a lowly bike messenger. 227 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,144 Was just riding along, choking on his gum. Oh, geez. 228 00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,972 And I performed Heimlich's maneuver on him, rescued him. 229 00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:00,669 Great. Yeah, who's the good man now? 230 00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:01,975 You're almost forced to admit it. 231 00:09:03,716 --> 00:09:06,501 Almost... you're almost forced to admit it. 232 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,373 Yeah, I know. I'm a hero, Nick, now... 233 00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,985 just tell me that I'm a good man. I really need to hear it. 234 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:13,378 I don't even know if I'm a good person. I'm not the guy to ask. 235 00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,379 I have my moods. But we're not talking about you. 236 00:09:15,423 --> 00:09:17,644 We're talking about me right now and how I'm a good person, 237 00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:19,080 so it'd be really nice if you could say that. 238 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,690 I'm ready to do a tzatziki. Tzedakah. 239 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,474 This is not about tzedakahright now. 240 00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:23,953 This is about me being a good man and you telling me that. 241 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,607 Absolutely. So, well, say it. 242 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:28,219 You got it. S-Say that I'm a good man. 243 00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:29,830 I'm giving away my money. I've been trying to listen 244 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,004 to you this whole time!Damn it, Nick! 245 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,268 You are so drunk right now, 246 00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:34,748 and at the bar you work at, no less. Yeah. 247 00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:36,096 What happens with the rest of your day? 248 00:09:36,139 --> 00:09:37,489 Do you even think about that? 249 00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:39,709 You don't understand drinking at all. 250 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,278 Don't go. 251 00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:46,106 Heathcliff. 252 00:09:46,149 --> 00:09:49,676 Hi, I'd like to unpay some parking tickets. 253 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,721 Excuse me? Well, I sent in a payment 254 00:09:51,764 --> 00:09:53,201 earlier for some tickets 255 00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,682 and I decided I don't want to pay them. 256 00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:56,986 Well, just cancel the checks. 257 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,902 I can't do that 'cause I paid cash 258 00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,774 'cause my boyfriend doesn't believe in banks. 259 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,688 It's early in the relationship. 260 00:10:02,731 --> 00:10:04,647 Still shaving above the knee if you know what I mean. 261 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,518 Mm-hmm. [clicks tongue] 262 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,825 Let me get this straight-- you want me to watch the mail 263 00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:11,436 and let you know if I see anything from your boyfriend. 264 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,004 Exactly. Fantastic-- should I call you or...? 265 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,701 Text, text would be great.Perfect. 266 00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:19,139 Let me put your number into my phone. 267 00:10:19,182 --> 00:10:20,663 I didn't give you my number yet. 268 00:10:20,706 --> 00:10:22,360 Oh, I think you did. 269 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:24,711 NICK: It's your lucky day, old friend. 270 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,147 I had an interesting talk with Schmidt, 271 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,801 and I've decided to give away my fortune. 272 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,149 So, what do I owe you? 273 00:10:29,192 --> 00:10:30,846 How much money d...? Uh... 274 00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:32,022 Hey, guys, what's going on? 275 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,588 Hey, Jess, um... 276 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,937 It's tzatziki is what it's called. 277 00:10:34,981 --> 00:10:37,767 It's a Jewish charity. 278 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:42,816 Nick was just about to pay me the money that he owes me. 279 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,991 Wait! 280 00:10:52,607 --> 00:10:53,696 Come on, what are you doing? 281 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,960 I'm, uh, I'm lubing up, Sally... 282 00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,265 From ankles to ears? 283 00:10:58,308 --> 00:10:59,875 The door's locked-- you want me to bust in? 284 00:10:59,919 --> 00:11:02,749 Son of a... 285 00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,097 It opened! 286 00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:06,490 Where are you? 287 00:11:06,534 --> 00:11:10,321 Um, I just was hot, I wanted some shade. 288 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,149 Oh, done that. 289 00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:15,586 Take my money? 290 00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:16,719 Winston! 291 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,198 It was me, it was me, it was me. 292 00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:20,809 I'm so sorry, I went through your box-- 293 00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,202 I just couldn't help it-- and I paid some 294 00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:24,945 of your bills, and I'm so sorry I... 295 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,860 Hey, Nick... 296 00:11:27,903 --> 00:11:29,775 you gonna leave me here? 297 00:11:29,818 --> 00:11:32,735 Nick... that's fair. 298 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,740 There he is, alive and well. 299 00:11:38,784 --> 00:11:39,786 Yeah. 300 00:11:39,828 --> 00:11:40,830 Mazel. 301 00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:41,744 I br-brought you these. 302 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,921 How's my brave little soldier doing, huh? 303 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,009 Not great. 304 00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:49,360 They said that I'm never gonna be able to ride a bike again, 305 00:11:49,403 --> 00:11:51,536 so there goes my job.Sure, sure. 306 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,147 Do you think that I'm a good person? 307 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:57,019 I... I don't really know you. 308 00:11:57,063 --> 00:11:58,586 I can't...Well, what more do you need to know? 309 00:11:58,629 --> 00:12:00,327 If not for me, you probably would have died today. 310 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,111 Well, somebody probably would have come along. 311 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,897 Just say that I'm a good person. 312 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,985 Well, I mean... Why is that so hard for you to say? 313 00:12:06,028 --> 00:12:06,812 Ow! I'm sorry. 314 00:12:06,855 --> 00:12:08,205 I am so sorry. 315 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,206 You're, you're a good person. 316 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,163 I am? You really think so? 317 00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:11,600 Very good. 318 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:12,644 Thank you for saying that. 319 00:12:12,687 --> 00:12:13,994 Yeah.That really means... 320 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,342 it means a lot. [chuckles] 321 00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:17,779 I finally feel like I can breathe again. 322 00:12:17,823 --> 00:12:19,563 Good. [sighs] 323 00:12:19,607 --> 00:12:21,261 What happ... what happened to him? 324 00:12:21,304 --> 00:12:23,873 Well, he got smoked by a bus while he was having a bake sale 325 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,265 for cancer kids. 326 00:12:25,308 --> 00:12:26,962 For, for canc-- for cancer kids? 327 00:12:27,006 --> 00:12:29,879 Yeah.But he-he's, he's a great person. 328 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,229 Bad things happen to good people all the time. 329 00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:35,405 Of course they do. 330 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,408 What am I even chasing here? 331 00:12:37,451 --> 00:12:39,715 What is the point of being a good person? 332 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,979 Some say moral integrity is the cornerstone to humanity. 333 00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:45,503 What do you know, you idiot? You choked on a piece of gum today. 334 00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:47,897 Hey, man, don't shoot the bike messenger. 335 00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,985 That is a terrible joke! 336 00:12:50,029 --> 00:12:52,336 And none of this makes any sense! 337 00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:06,001 Hey, Nick. 338 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,874 [sighs] Look, 339 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,745 I know you're really angry and you have a right to be. 340 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,095 I have the right to be? 341 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,619 I mean, why do you feel like you need to fix me? 342 00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,230 It's like you think you know better. 343 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:19,188 Well, I m... I might know better than you. 344 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,712 [scoffs] Did you start a corporation? 345 00:13:23,062 --> 00:13:25,500 Was it Fat Face? I think so. 346 00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:27,110 Yeah. 347 00:13:27,153 --> 00:13:28,633 Well, you're getting taxed like crazy. 348 00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:30,070 Well, that's because I thought I was filing a patent. 349 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,941 Fat Face is an invention? 350 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:34,900 Kind of-- in its intention it was suppo-- it... [grunts] 351 00:13:34,943 --> 00:13:38,251 Are you a lifeguard?No, that is a false certificate. 352 00:13:38,294 --> 00:13:39,861 Just a classic beach prank. 353 00:13:39,905 --> 00:13:41,254 That seems dangerous. 354 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,256 It's funny, 'cause I... I can't swim. 355 00:13:43,299 --> 00:13:45,475 Everyone was watching me, and I'm like, "I don't know..." 356 00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:47,565 I was 13! 357 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:48,957 I was 26. 358 00:13:49,001 --> 00:13:50,090 This is the problem with the box. 359 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,787 It's my private stuff. 360 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,311 You've never once done jury duty or paid your taxes. 361 00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:56,486 Not until gay marriage is legal everywhere. 362 00:13:57,052 --> 00:13:59,273 I stand by that. 363 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,927 And I don't want to do jury duty or pay taxes. 364 00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,365 Nick, you're in so much debt, it's crazy. 365 00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:05,932 Okay. You have to deal with this stuff. 366 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:08,673 No, I don't, Jess, it's in my box. 367 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:09,892 That's not true, though. 368 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:12,328 It's not a perfect system, Jess, 369 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:15,115 but it's mine, okay? And it's private. 370 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,725 Well, I'm sorry I went through your damn box, 371 00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:18,030 but I was just trying to help you, Nick. 372 00:14:18,073 --> 00:14:19,379 So maybe I'll try to help you. 373 00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:21,076 What if I went into your box? 374 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,513 Not that. 375 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:23,905 Stop it! I like that box, 376 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,341 but I'm mad at you...! 377 00:14:25,385 --> 00:14:26,691 [snaps fingers] 378 00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,911 I'm back to "You disrespected me." 379 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,129 I was just trying to help.Well, then, how about this: 380 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,261 Two can help, okay? 381 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,177 And if two are going to help, then I'll be one of them 382 00:14:35,221 --> 00:14:37,311 'cause two can tango on this dance, okay? 383 00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:38,921 So, you want to waltz? 384 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,705 Well, you picked the wrong dance partner. 385 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,010 Two can play. 386 00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:43,490 What? It's not a... 387 00:14:43,533 --> 00:14:46,145 Who needs changing, huh, who needs fixing? 388 00:14:46,188 --> 00:14:48,756 Really...I'm gonna go through your personal drawers 389 00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:51,106 and see what needs changing. 390 00:14:54,370 --> 00:14:55,850 What are you, a zoo elephant? 391 00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:56,982 Those are my night peanuts. 392 00:14:57,025 --> 00:14:57,984 There shouldn't be day peanuts 393 00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,158 and night peanuts! 394 00:14:59,201 --> 00:15:00,289 They're just peanuts! 395 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,030 I'm sorry, why is that weird? 396 00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:04,337 You just have a bunch of boxes? I would change that. 397 00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:08,168 Oh, you have a bunch of metal toothpicks.They're bobby pins. 398 00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,082 What's a bobby pin?It keeps your hair back. 399 00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,735 You need Bobby's pins to put your hair up? 400 00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:14,522 It's bobby pins, not Bobby's pins. 401 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:16,437 What is this?! Yarn. 402 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,004 What are you knitting, a mansion?! 403 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,397 Oh, look at this. What do we have here? 404 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,225 A bunch of beat-up old sacks. 405 00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,400 My vintage purses.Well, you know what? 406 00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:28,187 They could be sexier.You want my purses to be sexier? 407 00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:30,015 Would it kill you to get something sleek, 408 00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:31,365 covered in gems for once? 409 00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:34,323 You want my purses to be covered in gemstones? 410 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,543 All guys do! That's what we think is sexy! 411 00:15:36,586 --> 00:15:38,763 We want to be playing a saxophone in an alley 412 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,200 and have you walk by 413 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,115 in a miniskirt with a purse with gems. 414 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,334 But you girls don't listen!What?! 415 00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,553 Changing! No! Nick, no! 416 00:15:46,596 --> 00:15:49,121 This all is changing. This all... No, no, stop! That's disrespectful! 417 00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:51,080 Gone! Nick, stop it! 418 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,342 No! This is the grossest thing I've ever seen in my life! 419 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,345 I got that for a nickel.That's disgusting! 420 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,216 You're just trying to get a rise out of me. 421 00:15:57,259 --> 00:15:59,044 Oh, my God! 422 00:15:59,087 --> 00:16:01,090 I've gotten a lot of compliments on that one. 423 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:02,048 Gone! Nick! 424 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,440 What? 425 00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:06,139 Stop it! Look, I like you the way you are. 426 00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:08,140 I'm just asking you to grow a little. 427 00:16:08,183 --> 00:16:10,360 Are we ever gonna get to the point 428 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,014 where you stop working on me? 429 00:16:12,057 --> 00:16:14,929 Instead of changing me, 430 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:18,455 maybe once, Jess, see it my way. 431 00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,500 Well, your way's crazy, and illegal. 432 00:16:20,543 --> 00:16:22,937 This is me, take it or leave it. 433 00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,941 I'm not changing for anyone. 434 00:16:29,683 --> 00:16:31,816 Hey, where are you going? 435 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,165 If you have something to say, just say it. 436 00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:34,950 Don't write me a note or... 437 00:16:37,778 --> 00:16:40,173 That's the money I spent. 438 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,913 Do what you want with it. 439 00:16:42,957 --> 00:16:45,047 Thank you. 440 00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:50,052 Couple of best friend horses. That's neat. 441 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,010 What else can you get on...? 442 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,754 [sighs] 443 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,065 It doesn't make any sense. 444 00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,500 Can you not see I'm in the middle 445 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:05,849 of a bar mitzvah class here? 446 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,287 Yeah, well, they should hear this. 447 00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:10,115 A man helping cancer kids got creamed by a bus today. 448 00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,901 Everything happens for a reason. 449 00:17:12,943 --> 00:17:14,468 But what if it doesn't happen for a reason? 450 00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:16,904 Maybe... maybe there aren't any good guys and bad guys. 451 00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:18,906 Maybe there are just winners and losers. 452 00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:21,126 I was beating myself up, but maybe I should... [laughs] 453 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,998 maybe I should have been celebrating. 454 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,957 Have you ever dated two women at once?What are you talking about? 455 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,089 I went to camp-- they used to call me the octopus. 456 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,439 Clearly, you have not, sir.That's enough. 457 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,094 You get out of here right now! 458 00:17:32,137 --> 00:17:33,574 Out. Don't you "out" me. 459 00:17:33,616 --> 00:17:35,228 Get out, get...Getting a little handsy there, Rabbi. 460 00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:36,881 Get out!You know what I realize? 461 00:17:36,924 --> 00:17:38,535 Nothing matters, and that's great. You know why? 462 00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:40,711 Because if nothing matters, we can do whatever we want, Rabbi. 463 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:41,669 [laughter] 464 00:17:41,711 --> 00:17:43,932 Avram! Julio! 465 00:17:43,974 --> 00:17:45,151 Get away from me, man. 466 00:17:45,193 --> 00:17:46,326 Kick his ass! 467 00:17:46,368 --> 00:17:48,284 All right, okay. 468 00:17:48,327 --> 00:17:50,286 YOLO! YOLO! 469 00:17:50,329 --> 00:17:52,114 Nick's right. 470 00:17:52,157 --> 00:17:54,115 I have too many purses. 471 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,596 You're addicted to purses. 472 00:17:55,638 --> 00:17:59,382 I'm addicted to development fluid-- I get it. 473 00:17:59,425 --> 00:18:01,602 This one's for meat, and this one's for shells. 474 00:18:01,644 --> 00:18:03,125 You know what? 475 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:06,388 Keep them. They're yours. Okay, thanks. 476 00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:08,478 Also, heads up-- the ass of your pants is missing. 477 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,349 It's for the kitty cats. 478 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,352 [phone ringing] 479 00:18:12,394 --> 00:18:14,135 My phone's ringing. Sure. 480 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,484 [laughs] Hello? 481 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,140 I'm like a pretty lady. 482 00:18:18,183 --> 00:18:20,272 What's happening? 483 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,012 I'm sorry to bother you, Miss Day, 484 00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:23,971 but this man was trying to open an account 485 00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:26,844 with a check in your name and a paper bag full of money. 486 00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:29,281 Would you please stop hovering? I'm being cooperative. 487 00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:30,544 It's fine. He's okay. 488 00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:32,111 Thank you, though. 489 00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:37,202 Opening a bank account, huh? 490 00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:39,029 Yeah, I, uh... 491 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,294 I realized something.What? 492 00:18:41,336 --> 00:18:45,166 I'd do anything for you, Jess. 493 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,604 Hey. 494 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:52,305 Thank you. 495 00:18:52,347 --> 00:18:53,393 All right, Mr. Miller, 496 00:18:53,435 --> 00:18:56,003 your checking account is good to go. 497 00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:58,441 Oh, there's just an eight dollar processing fee. 498 00:18:58,484 --> 00:18:59,224 Eight dollars? 499 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:01,617 That's a very specific amount. 500 00:19:06,318 --> 00:19:08,538 That's fine-- it's your world, your rules, so... 501 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,105 Excellent. 502 00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:12,325 You go to the castle, you got to pay the king. 503 00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:17,894 What is processing? What does that mean? 504 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:21,247 It's just a word you use to make more money off of us. 505 00:19:21,289 --> 00:19:23,465 That makes me mad!Me, too, yeah. 506 00:19:23,509 --> 00:19:25,685 Hey, how about this? What's a bank? 507 00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:27,077 Yeah.It's just a paper bag... 508 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:28,818 That's right. Yes!...with walls. 509 00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:30,298 You're making some really, 510 00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:31,821 really, really good points, ma'am. 511 00:19:31,865 --> 00:19:34,215 You are the puppeteers that puppet the world. 512 00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:35,565 NICK: No more banks! 513 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,000 Or some banks-- I don't care! 514 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,438 But I want my money on a boat! 515 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,221 JESS: I understood at least 30% 516 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,396 of the financial crisis, 517 00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:42,876 and guess what I got from that? 518 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,314 You... suck!Yeah. 519 00:19:45,357 --> 00:19:47,490 You suck so hard! 520 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:50,057 And now, I'm gonna process this man's face, 521 00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:52,278 'cause I think he's great. 522 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,411 And I'm crazy about him. 523 00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:58,371 Fine, I'll waive the fee. 524 00:19:58,413 --> 00:20:00,241 Yeah! 525 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,069 We won eight dollars! 526 00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:03,636 Just wait till you have children. 527 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,855 [bitter laugh] You'll never touch each other again. 528 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,467 [wry laugh] 529 00:20:07,509 --> 00:20:09,032 JESS: Banks suck! Banks suck! Banks suck! 530 00:20:09,076 --> 00:20:10,164 [Nick guffaws] 531 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:13,516 What the hell happened to you? 532 00:20:13,559 --> 00:20:16,039 Got beat up by some rabbis. 533 00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:18,694 Well, Winston, we're all alone. 534 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:21,045 Nothing matters. 535 00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:22,873 But you know what? Look, Schmidt, stop, all right? 536 00:20:22,916 --> 00:20:24,701 You're a good man. 537 00:20:24,744 --> 00:20:27,355 You did a bad thing-- doesn't make you bad. 538 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,707 We just have to try to be better, you know? 539 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,710 Been waiting all day for somebody to tell me that. 540 00:20:33,753 --> 00:20:36,844 I... I really appreciate it. Thank you. 541 00:20:36,886 --> 00:20:38,279 I want you to have something. 542 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,934 Winston, literally, a gift is the last thing I des... 543 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,765 This is... There you go. 544 00:20:44,807 --> 00:20:47,157 This is a candelabra. 545 00:20:47,201 --> 00:20:48,463 Yeah. 546 00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:50,509 I bought it with the money that Nick owed me. 547 00:20:50,552 --> 00:20:52,772 This is what you spent it on?And now it's yours. 548 00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:56,211 Uh-huh. May it illuminate your path 549 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,952 and lead you... out of the darkness. 550 00:20:58,996 --> 00:21:01,520 That's what it says on the bottom. 551 00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:04,087 May it illuminate your path, lead you out of darkness. Wow. 552 00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:07,134 Uh, uh, thank you for this-- really. 553 00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:09,702 Look at it every single day and tell yourself: 554 00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:12,444 "I'm a good person," 'cause you are. 555 00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:13,750 You know what I might do, though? 556 00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:15,185 And it might seem like the opposite, but 557 00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,578 what I'm actually thinking is, 558 00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:18,189 maybe I'll just put it away somewhere, like in-- 559 00:21:18,232 --> 00:21:19,799 I don't know-- in the back of my closet 560 00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:21,410 so to keep it away from thieves. 561 00:21:21,453 --> 00:21:22,890 Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 562 00:21:22,932 --> 00:21:24,413 Can you be honest with me real quick? Mm-hmm. 563 00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:25,674 How many times did you rub this thing 564 00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:26,894 and think a genie was gonna come out? 565 00:21:26,936 --> 00:21:28,416 I ain't gonna lie to you man. 566 00:21:28,461 --> 00:21:29,896 I rubbed it, like, three times. Yeah. Yeah. 567 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,550 I thought so.You know, I'm not... 568 00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:34,117 If a genie did come out, what would you wish for? 569 00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:36,119 More candelabras.Yeah, I bet. 570 00:21:36,163 --> 00:21:39,384 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org