1
00:00:02,262 --> 00:00:03,524
Hey, guys, hurry up.
I'm the maid of honor.

2
00:00:03,568 --> 00:00:04,743
I have to be there early,
and I want to get

3
00:00:04,786 --> 00:00:06,049
a picture in before we go.

4
00:00:06,092 --> 00:00:08,051
Miami Vicecalled,
and on the show...

5
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,747
I don't know how
to finish that joke.

6
00:00:09,791 --> 00:00:11,098
What?Ah, scratch it,
scratch it.

7
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:12,534
Winston, please.

8
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,101
Your belly's on my hip.

9
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,057
Dad, can you come
and take our picture?

10
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:15,928
BOB:
All right.

11
00:00:15,971 --> 00:00:17,190
Having a little trouble

12
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:20,062
getting off this air mattress.

13
00:00:20,106 --> 00:00:21,195
Oh, here we go.

14
00:00:21,237 --> 00:00:22,847
And we... okay.

15
00:00:22,891 --> 00:00:23,849
I'm off, I'm off.

16
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:24,850
Here... where is it?

17
00:00:24,893 --> 00:00:25,937
All right, give me this.

18
00:00:25,981 --> 00:00:26,939
Let's do this.

19
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,202
Okay, you ready?

20
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:29,115
Scrunch together.

21
00:00:29,158 --> 00:00:30,333
There we go.

22
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:33,207
No... uh, Rick,

23
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,252
move one step
to your right.Me?

24
00:00:35,295 --> 00:00:37,427
Yes, one step to your right.

25
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,951
One more step to your right.

26
00:00:38,994 --> 00:00:41,170
I can't go much further.One more step to your right.

27
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,173
Until you get into the hallway,
and then, once you

28
00:00:43,216 --> 00:00:44,914
get in the hallway...No, I see what
you're doing, dude.

29
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,003
Very funny, buddy.Dad, Dad, we have to go...

30
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,265
...go directly to the Chinatown
trash can

31
00:00:48,308 --> 00:00:50,137
where you got that suit.There's nothing wrong

32
00:00:50,179 --> 00:00:51,311
with this suit.Dad, we need to
take the picture.

33
00:00:51,354 --> 00:00:53,270
I wore this at my
high school graduation.

34
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,097
Nick, you're not doing
yourself any favors.
Okay, you
lost that one, Nick.

35
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,447
I look very handsome.
I look like I'm on Miami Vice.

36
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,319
Should I take the picture?No, I'm not doing this.

37
00:00:58,362 --> 00:00:59,755
He's getting on me
about the suit.You're ruining the picture.

38
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:00,756
Okay.And he's making
me go over there.

39
00:01:00,798 --> 00:01:01,973
I'm not doing it.
I'm out of here.

40
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,454
Nick, hey, we got to
take the damn picture.

41
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,977
Stop. Where are you going?Was gonna do
my cool poses.

42
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:07,718
You ready? One, two...

43
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,721
♪ Who's that girl? ♪ Who's that girl?♪

44
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,159
♪ Who's that girl?

45
00:01:12,201 --> 00:01:14,204
♪ Who's that girl?♪♪ It's Jess.

46
00:01:17,989 --> 00:01:19,295
JESS:
You changed.

47
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,254
Check it out.

48
00:01:20,296 --> 00:01:22,125
Schmidt gave me
his worst suit.

49
00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:23,474
He said, if I could
get it over my thighs,

50
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:25,215
he didn't want it.

51
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:26,216
Miami Vicecalled,

52
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:27,216
and this time,
I answered.

53
00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:30,915
[laughing]: Yeah?
Yeah!

54
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,135
I hope you're not doing all this
'cause of what my dad said.

55
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:36,139
I don't think you're an
unemployable alcoholic bummer.

56
00:01:36,182 --> 00:01:37,140
What?

57
00:01:37,183 --> 00:01:38,054
No, I don't think
you're a child.

58
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:39,316
Whoa, when did he say that?

59
00:01:39,359 --> 00:01:41,057
Hmm?

60
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,623
What?Bob said that about me?

61
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,060
Anyway, the point is...

62
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,018
I don't think you're
any of those things.

63
00:01:46,061 --> 00:01:48,194
We're at a wedding together.

64
00:01:48,237 --> 00:01:49,152
It's nice, right?

65
00:01:49,195 --> 00:01:50,152
You look great.

66
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:51,936
Thanks. So do you.

67
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:53,069
I'm gonna go find Cece.

68
00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:55,158
Yeah.

69
00:01:55,201 --> 00:01:56,072
All right, I guess
we're doing that.

70
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:57,204
[both laugh]

71
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:03,165
There are so many fun,
cool traditions at this thing.

72
00:02:03,209 --> 00:02:05,429
The groom comes in
on a white horse.

73
00:02:05,472 --> 00:02:08,258
So, basically, they're just
copying my Bar Mitzvah.

74
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,651
Oh, my goodness.

75
00:02:10,694 --> 00:02:13,568
That is Bucky the Badger,
Wisconsin's mascot.

76
00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:16,048
Yeah, I got a sweatshirt
with his face on it,

77
00:02:16,091 --> 00:02:18,007
and he's wearing a sweatshirt
with his face on it.

78
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,836
Bucky cool. Bucky!

79
00:02:20,878 --> 00:02:22,098
He's got a super weird
thing with badgers.

80
00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:23,272
Is that a real badger?

81
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,579
Hey,

82
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:27,103
the ceremony lasts
for three hours,

83
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:28,235
so you better go pee now.

84
00:02:28,277 --> 00:02:29,584
You know, your weak bladder.

85
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:30,540
You remembered.

86
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,108
Of course I did.

87
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,326
Now I have to pee.

88
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,590
Every time you say
"pee," I have to pee.

89
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,375
Thank you for coming.

90
00:02:38,418 --> 00:02:40,638
Go pee.

91
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,597
I'm gonna.Okay.

92
00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:44,381
It's okay to be nervous.

93
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,209
But nothing can go wrong.

94
00:02:46,252 --> 00:02:49,081
All you have to do
is go out there,

95
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:52,911
get married,
and I will do the rest, okay?

96
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:56,175
[women gasping]Schmidt!

97
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,138
Get out.

98
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:03,400
Well, this certainly

99
00:03:03,443 --> 00:03:04,401
isn't the bathroom.

100
00:03:04,444 --> 00:03:07,317
Get out. Get out.

101
00:03:10,711 --> 00:03:13,454
Guys, guys, shut up
and listen to me-- it's Cece.

102
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,106
She doesn't want to get married.

103
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:16,108
Damn.
What happened?

104
00:03:16,151 --> 00:03:17,283
Well, her exact words were:

105
00:03:17,326 --> 00:03:18,588
"I don't want to marry Shivrang,

106
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:20,156
"but my whole family
has flown out here

107
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,069
"from all the way
across the world.

108
00:03:21,112 --> 00:03:22,419
"I can't back out now.

109
00:03:22,462 --> 00:03:24,247
"Please, Schmidt,
as my closest friend,

110
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,117
help me."What did Jess say?

111
00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:28,251
Well, Jess didn't hear it--
Cece told me with her eyes.

112
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,296
Oh, so nothing happened.Cool, so she's
marrying Shivrang.

113
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,733
No, guys, I know Cece--
I know her looks.

114
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,256
Schmidt, what were you
doing back there?

115
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,343
Cece's backing out
of the wedding.

116
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,692
What?It's true. She told me.

117
00:03:35,736 --> 00:03:37,173
With her eyes.Oh, my God.

118
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:38,174
I thought you were talking
about something real.

119
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,393
Schmidt.

120
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,395
The wedding's happening--
let her go.

121
00:03:41,437 --> 00:03:44,311
I have let her go. I'm with
Elizabeth now and she's amazing.

122
00:03:44,353 --> 00:03:46,182
Look, Jess, I'm
telling you this

123
00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:48,097
as Cece's friend
and nothing more.

124
00:03:48,139 --> 00:03:49,359
Cece loves Shivrang--
I know that

125
00:03:49,402 --> 00:03:51,187
'cause I know her
better than you do.

126
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:53,276
False. When you've had
sexual congress with someone

127
00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:55,060
and you've peered
into their soul

128
00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:56,453
at the exact moment
of fulfillment...

129
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,106
[gags]
Ew.No, no, hear him out.

130
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,151
Schmidt, listen up
and listen good.

131
00:04:00,195 --> 00:04:02,937
You are not to talk to Cece,
you are not to look at Cece,

132
00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:05,984
and you are not to have
eye conversations with her.

133
00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:08,290
Or I will bust you.

134
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,727
Hard.

135
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,206
And later, I'm gonna
bust you hard.

136
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,294
Yeah, you are.

137
00:04:12,338 --> 00:04:13,295
Good night, nurse.

138
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,427
I've been naughty.

139
00:04:15,819 --> 00:04:16,951
Sorry, I didn't know--
you guys were supposed...

140
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,300
not supposed to hear that, so...

141
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,737
Bros ever before the ho.

142
00:04:20,781 --> 00:04:22,913
Anybody have a jar?I'm sorry, okay?

143
00:04:22,957 --> 00:04:24,872
But we have to
sabotage this wedding.

144
00:04:24,915 --> 00:04:27,091
Winston?
No, guys, look,

145
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,485
you always bring me
into these situations,

146
00:04:28,528 --> 00:04:32,706
and I get in over my head
because I love pranks.

147
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,100
I really do.
I mean, you know that.

148
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:36,406
Yeah.But look,

149
00:04:36,449 --> 00:04:38,321
it's time for me
to just face the facts

150
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,497
that I'm no good at them.

151
00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:42,324
You know, I'm 31 now,

152
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,110
and it's time for me
to cut the nonsense.

153
00:04:45,153 --> 00:04:47,329
You're 100% right, man,
but just, I don't know...

154
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,158
what about today, just today...

155
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,334
you give me full-on crazy?

156
00:04:51,377 --> 00:04:53,336
Yeah!

157
00:04:53,379 --> 00:04:54,423
You listen here!
Yeah!

158
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:55,382
Hey, hey, hey!What?

159
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,425
Nobody's doing anything!

160
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,733
What?Jess asked us not to,

161
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:02,345
so we are going to enjoy
Cece's wedding like adults.

162
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:05,043
So good night, nurse.

163
00:05:05,086 --> 00:05:07,002
Sorry for saying that.

164
00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:08,132
I am all...

165
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,134
I'm all turned around.

166
00:05:10,178 --> 00:05:12,355
We sabotaging
this thing or what?Absolutely.

167
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,839
[indistinct chatter
and laughter]

168
00:05:18,882 --> 00:05:20,971
Hello, Auntie.

169
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,322
This is embarrassing.

170
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,457
I'll be right back.

171
00:05:31,242 --> 00:05:32,941
Excuse me, Elizabeth.
Can I talk business?

172
00:05:32,983 --> 00:05:34,420
Thank you.

173
00:05:34,463 --> 00:05:36,596
I want you
to call it off.
What?

174
00:05:36,639 --> 00:05:39,295
Whatever you're planning
on doing, don't do it.

175
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,297
This wedding means
a lot to Jess.

176
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,387
What are you doing?
What has happened to you?

177
00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:46,606
You changed your suit,
you're carrying her purse.Yeah, I am.

178
00:05:46,649 --> 00:05:48,391
You're wearing deodorant
under both arms...

179
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,610
Both arms, yeah.Why are you trying
so hard, man?

180
00:05:50,653 --> 00:05:52,439
Either Jess wants
the real you

181
00:05:52,481 --> 00:05:55,658
or... or she don't.

182
00:05:55,702 --> 00:05:57,792
The real Nick would help
me sabo this wedding.

183
00:05:57,834 --> 00:06:00,185
Is "sabo" short
for sabotage, Schmidt?

184
00:06:00,228 --> 00:06:02,404
Why would you...? I mean,
why would you even say that?I knew it was.

185
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,451
I was being mean.You know it... of course you
know... you know it is.

186
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:05,755
I was bullying you to get
dominance in this moment.

187
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,670
I want you to call it off.You know it's...

188
00:06:07,714 --> 00:06:09,846
You know "sabo" is short
for sabot... sabotage.I know... I know...

189
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:12,327
Hey, skin it
and call it off.

190
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,242
You got it, man.Thanks, man.

191
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,418
I'll call it off.Thank you, buddy.

192
00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:16,418
I appreciate that.No problem, Nicholas.

193
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,420
Thank you.
Now.

194
00:06:18,464 --> 00:06:19,769
Now?[air horn blares]

195
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,380
[horse neighing]

196
00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:24,079
[Shivrang yelling]

197
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,601
Shivrang, hold on!

198
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,690
Ow, my testicles!

199
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,562
Don't get on the highway!

200
00:06:29,605 --> 00:06:33,088
Just reared up and just
took off... [groans]

201
00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:35,569
SHIVRANG: I'm scared that it
might have damaged me.MAN: No, no, no, no damage.

202
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:39,310
Are you enjoying the wedding
festivities, Schmidt?

203
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:42,619
What a spunky horse.

204
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:46,144
I know you're responsible
for the horse thing.

205
00:06:46,187 --> 00:06:47,884
Was I?
Yes.

206
00:06:47,928 --> 00:06:48,886
Was I?
Yes.

207
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,279
Was...?
Yes.

208
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,808
Was...?
Yes.

209
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,942
[quickly]: Was I?
Yes.

210
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,552
[quietly]:
Was I?

211
00:07:03,596 --> 00:07:04,685
Schmidt.

212
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:07,687
[quiet, gentle music playing]

213
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,567
[over speaker]:
♪ If it hadn't been
for Cotton-Eyed Joe ♪

214
00:07:17,610 --> 00:07:19,526
♪ I'd been married
a long time ago ♪

215
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:21,178
♪ Where did you come from,
where did you go? ♪

216
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,225
♪ Where did you
come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? ♪

217
00:07:25,182 --> 00:07:27,271
♪ If it hadn't been
for Cotton-Eyed Joe... ♪

218
00:07:27,315 --> 00:07:29,665
It's okay.
Who are you working with?

219
00:07:29,709 --> 00:07:31,406
♪ Where did you come from,
where did you go? ♪

220
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,495
♪ Where did you come from...

221
00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:34,715
Cotton-Eyed...

222
00:07:34,757 --> 00:07:36,846
Joe.

223
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,545
♪ Where did you come from,
where did you go? ♪

224
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,154
Winston, no!
Don't do this.

225
00:07:40,197 --> 00:07:42,591
What's done is
done, Nicholas.

226
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,332
[chuckles nervously]

227
00:07:44,375 --> 00:07:46,552
Turn it off!I couldn't stop it
even if I wanted to.

228
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,555
Turn it off! Nick!

229
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,295
Pranks!
Wrong way!

230
00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:51,340
What...What did you...

231
00:07:51,382 --> 00:07:53,298
Of course!

232
00:07:53,341 --> 00:07:55,518
Of course you were
scheming with Schmidt.

233
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:56,997
Jess, I didn't do anything.

234
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,303
You think that Schmidt and
Winston would be smart enough

235
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:00,740
to duct-tape the sound board?

236
00:08:00,783 --> 00:08:02,307
That's brilliant!

237
00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:05,440
Plus, we both know
that this is your CD.

238
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,920
♪ Where did you come from,
where did you go? ♪

239
00:08:06,963 --> 00:08:08,966
♪ Where did you
come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? ♪

240
00:08:09,009 --> 00:08:11,098
Why did you need me for this?

241
00:08:11,141 --> 00:08:13,100
Nick?

242
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:16,103
Winston must have taken
that out of my car.

243
00:08:16,146 --> 00:08:17,322
How gullible do you think I am?

244
00:08:17,365 --> 00:08:18,454
You're fist-pumping right now.

245
00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:19,586
No, I'm not fist-pumping.

246
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:22,457
Yes, you are.
Aah!

247
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,415
It's so freaking catchy.

248
00:08:24,459 --> 00:08:25,939
I thought I could
count on you.

249
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,637
I thought things
would be different now.

250
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,769
How could you think
I would do this

251
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:29,769
at your best friend's wedding?

252
00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:30,944
Because it's exactly

253
00:08:30,987 --> 00:08:32,467
the type of thing that you do.

254
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,557
A stupid, childish prank.

255
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,298
Oh, childish?

256
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,562
You're right.

257
00:08:39,605 --> 00:08:41,085
I'm a child.

258
00:08:43,043 --> 00:08:45,001
[grunts]
Great sabo, man!

259
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:47,048
I'm so good at pranks, man.
I feel alive.
Really good...

260
00:08:48,309 --> 00:08:49,572
[laughing]
Phase three.

261
00:08:49,615 --> 00:08:50,790
What's phase three?

262
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,793
Whatever it is, I'm in.

263
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,881
Let's do this.[grunts]

264
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,235
[quiet, gentle music playing]

265
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,812
Uh, hey, Jess?Hmm?

266
00:09:12,855 --> 00:09:14,379
We went too far.What?

267
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,599
It's bad.How bad?

268
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,731
It's really bad.

269
00:09:22,082 --> 00:09:23,432
Schmidt...

270
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:24,955
What did you do?

271
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,610
It was Winston's idea.Oh, my God.

272
00:09:27,653 --> 00:09:28,610
I'm really sorry, okay?
I didn't want

273
00:09:28,654 --> 00:09:29,611
anybody to get hurt,

274
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:30,657
but it's too late now.

275
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,788
It's bigger than all of us.

276
00:09:31,831 --> 00:09:33,136
Tell me everything.

277
00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:35,705
Or, so help me God,
I will mess up your hair.

278
00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:36,836
Your precious hair.

279
00:09:36,879 --> 00:09:40,057
Winston's in the...
[mumbles]
What?

280
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,537
Winston's in... [mumbles]

281
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,495
What? Say it louder.
Say it louder.

282
00:09:43,538 --> 00:09:44,626
Winston is in the air ducts

283
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:45,802
with a badger.

284
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,063
What?!

285
00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:48,674
Nick's there, too.

286
00:09:48,717 --> 00:09:50,153
WINSTON:
Ah, Nick.

287
00:09:50,197 --> 00:09:51,851
You've never gone along
with one of my pranks before.

288
00:09:51,894 --> 00:09:53,854
This is exciting.

289
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,638
[grunts] I never noticed, but
you kind of have a girl butt.

290
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,422
Is that weird to say?

291
00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:59,423
This priest is never
gonna know what hit him.

292
00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:00,860
Wait, that is the plan?

293
00:10:00,903 --> 00:10:03,645
You're gonna drop a badger
on a priest?

294
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:04,821
[snarling][laughing]:
Oh!

295
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:05,735
He's mad.

296
00:10:05,778 --> 00:10:07,475
That can't be the plan, man!

297
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:08,999
What did you do?I deserve this.

298
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,826
What did you do?I deserve this.
I deserve this, okay?

299
00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:12,873
What did you do?It's just, when Nick got
involved, it became too big.

300
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,788
What? What do you mean,
"when Nick got involved"?

301
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,224
He wasn't always involved?

302
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,572
No. He said no.

303
00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:18,835
He said, "Jess means
too much to me,"

304
00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,009
or some crapola like that.

305
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,533
What are you doing?Calling Nick.

306
00:10:21,576 --> 00:10:23,317
Jess, he's in the ducts!

307
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:24,754
The ducts!

308
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:25,668
Beautiful ceremony.

309
00:10:25,711 --> 00:10:26,886
Happy day.

310
00:10:28,365 --> 00:10:30,846
The ducts!I know where he is, Schmidt.

311
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:32,719
[phone ringing]

312
00:10:32,761 --> 00:10:33,850
What? No, no.

313
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,764
That's my phone.

314
00:10:35,808 --> 00:10:37,245
I said no phones.I know. I'm gonna get it.

315
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:38,855
They can track us
with phones.

316
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,509
What is going...? Relax.
You're so weird with pranks.

317
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:41,857
What is going on
with you?Put the phone away!

318
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:43,903
I'm trying to!
I'm trying

319
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,383
to turn it off,
you idiot!

320
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,907
[Bucky snarling]Oh... no.

321
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,342
What's going on?
Uh...

322
00:10:48,385 --> 00:10:49,865
Bucky got out of
his cage, man.

323
00:10:49,909 --> 00:10:51,259
No! No!Let's go get him.

324
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,869
I'm getting out of here!No, you're coming with me.

325
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,783
You got to help me find
the badger, Nick![screaming]

326
00:10:54,827 --> 00:10:55,915
You don't be no bitch!

327
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,701
I want out of this prank!Bucky!

328
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,702
PRIEST: God bless both of you.[air ducts rattle]

329
00:11:00,746 --> 00:11:02,923
May he shower you
with many, many children.

330
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,315
[rattling]

331
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,707
Ugh, he's not picking up.

332
00:11:05,751 --> 00:11:06,840
Of course he's not picking up.
He's in the...

333
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,538
Don't say it.
[whispers]:
...ducts.

334
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,018
He's in the ducts.

335
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:12,279
WINSTON [faintly echoing]:
Nick, stop being a bitch!

336
00:11:12,322 --> 00:11:13,323
Don't be no bitch!

337
00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:14,716
[Nick grunts]WINSTON: Bucky!

338
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,197
I'm going up there.Okay, good.

339
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,937
'Cause I really don't
want to go up there.

340
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:19,721
Look, I'm the kind of guy
that likes to enjoy the AC,

341
00:11:19,765 --> 00:11:21,071
not see how the sausage is made.

342
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,725
Seriously, Schmidt?
Shut up and give me a boost.

343
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:25,989
Bucky...

344
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,643
[Bucky chitters]Aah.

345
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,297
[Bucky snarling]

346
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,732
Winston!

347
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:31,734
Nick, where are you?

348
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,126
WINSTON:
Marco...
Polo!

349
00:11:33,169 --> 00:11:34,605
I don't want to play that.

350
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,740
No! [screaming]
JESS:
Nick, it's me!

351
00:11:37,783 --> 00:11:39,001
Nick, it's me!

352
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:41,221
Jess, what are you doing here?

353
00:11:41,264 --> 00:11:42,918
Look, I-I know you didn't
plan the sabotage,

354
00:11:42,962 --> 00:11:44,965
and I know you're doing this
just to get back at me,

355
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,575
but please don't do this.

356
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,881
Jess, it's not
about the sabotage, okay?

357
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:51,361
It's about the fact that you
think I'm gonna screw up

358
00:11:51,405 --> 00:11:52,668
everything I touch.

359
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:53,668
No, Nick, I don't.

360
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:54,756
You know what, Jess?

361
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,759
This is where I belong.

362
00:11:56,802 --> 00:11:59,806
With Winston and a badger.

363
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:00,980
All right, Nick,
look, let's just

364
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,677
go get the badger
and get out of here.

365
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:04,985
Can't get the badger
because it's loose.

366
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:05,985
What?!

367
00:12:06,028 --> 00:12:08,030
Hey, Jess, welcome, welcome.

368
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,772
No! Jess![screaming]

369
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,381
You know,
I'm just staying positive,

370
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,471
but, uh... I'm pretty sure
this is where we die.

371
00:12:13,514 --> 00:12:14,690
JESS:
Winston!

372
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,561
When you complete
the seven circles,

373
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:18,912
you will be officially married.

374
00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:21,436
You don't have to walk
so fast, you know.

375
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:30,139
Guys?

376
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,490
Guys, you know...

377
00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:34,797
I've been thinking
a lot about the Earth.

378
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,495
We got to leave it better
than when we found it.

379
00:12:37,538 --> 00:12:39,496
Is this what you wanted
your life to be?

380
00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:41,412
[sighs]
Is this how you
wanted to enjoy

381
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:42,804
your best friend's
wedding?

382
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,807
Nick, look, no.
Stop that.

383
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:46,852
I am not a healthy person.

384
00:12:46,895 --> 00:12:48,811
Yeah, I know.
I know, Nick.
Oh, you do?

385
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,812
So a part of you
agrees with your dad.

386
00:12:50,856 --> 00:12:52,249
No.[Bucky snarling,
claws scraping]

387
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,294
Just... oh, my...Okay. We got to
get out of here.

388
00:12:54,337 --> 00:12:55,730
PRIEST:
...lovely ceremony

389
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:58,602
with all your family
and friends.

390
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,518
Tell me that there isn't
a small part of you

391
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,259
that's scared that
I'm too much of a mess.

392
00:13:02,302 --> 00:13:03,695
We have to go.

393
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,174
That this thing
is a mistake.

394
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:06,785
You and me.

395
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,921
Just admit it, Jess.

396
00:13:13,052 --> 00:13:14,793
Yes, there is a small part.

397
00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:17,491
Yeah.

398
00:13:17,534 --> 00:13:18,841
But...

399
00:13:18,884 --> 00:13:20,842
[both yelling]

400
00:13:20,886 --> 00:13:23,279
Run![screaming]

401
00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:25,629
[guests gasping]

402
00:13:25,673 --> 00:13:26,936
[Nick groaning]

403
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,110
Oh, my...

404
00:13:28,154 --> 00:13:30,331
[groans]

405
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,682
It's okay.
Jess?

406
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,857
Always a bridesmaid...

407
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,947
[guests murmuring]

408
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:42,778
[Bucky chittering]Aah!

409
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,866
Something touched my leg!

410
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:45,999
You know, sometimes I feel like

411
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,914
I never really felt love,
you know?

412
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,874
Do you know?

413
00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:56,792
Hey! Hey, hey, everybody.

414
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,750
Hi. Hi.
I'm Jessica Day.

415
00:13:58,793 --> 00:14:00,534
I'm the, uh,
maid of honor.

416
00:14:00,577 --> 00:14:02,057
I'm also the person who
fell through the roof

417
00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:03,145
with my friend
Nick Miller here.

418
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,886
Um, I have a few
things to say.

419
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,062
Um, there might be a
badger on the loose,

420
00:14:07,106 --> 00:14:08,977
but I have my
best people on it.

421
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,500
I'm on it.
Don't scare the badger!

422
00:14:10,544 --> 00:14:12,111
Schmidty, help me!Okay!

423
00:14:12,154 --> 00:14:13,374
[screams][screams]

424
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,897
Funnel it into the mandap!Okay.

425
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,028
WINSTON:
Hey, guys.

426
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,116
He's in the ninth row.

427
00:14:17,159 --> 00:14:18,596
He is headed north.

428
00:14:18,639 --> 00:14:19,946
JESS:
Where were we?

429
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,557
Um, Your Honor,
please tell us where we were.

430
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,080
We were on the seventh circle.

431
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,515
So close.

432
00:14:25,559 --> 00:14:26,952
JESS:
Great. Cece, go.

433
00:14:26,995 --> 00:14:28,998
Jess, you don't
have to fix this.Fix what?

434
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:31,913
This is a perfect day.

435
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,880
I'm sorry, everyone,
but I can't do this.

436
00:14:43,838 --> 00:14:45,927
And it's not
because of the horse.

437
00:14:45,971 --> 00:14:48,538
Or the badger.

438
00:14:48,582 --> 00:14:50,889
Or "Cotton-Eyed Joe."

439
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:54,894
This isn't
what I want.

440
00:14:55,981 --> 00:14:59,115
What I want is to be
with someone else.

441
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,121
Shivrang, I feel
terrible. I'm sorry.

442
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:09,342
No... No, Cece,
it is okay.

443
00:15:09,385 --> 00:15:13,346
In fact,
it's more than okay.

444
00:15:13,389 --> 00:15:16,044
I don't know why I didn't
tell you the truth ages ago,

445
00:15:16,088 --> 00:15:17,960
but... but I want to be
with someone else, too.

446
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,048
Really?Yes.

447
00:15:20,092 --> 00:15:23,573
I have tried to forget you,
Elaine-- really, I have--

448
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:24,836
but I just can't.

449
00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:26,054
Who the hell is Elaine?

450
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:28,448
And I don't care
what my family says.

451
00:15:28,491 --> 00:15:31,017
I want to marry you
in a Presbyterian church.

452
00:15:31,059 --> 00:15:33,062
[guests gasping]

453
00:15:33,105 --> 00:15:34,889
Oh, Shivvy.

454
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,110
I've loved you
since the first grade.

455
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,850
And I'm so lonely without you.
I just lay awake

456
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,808
at night,
and I just write about you

457
00:15:40,851 --> 00:15:43,594
in my journal, and I paint
pictures of you on my easel.

458
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:45,030
I want our children
to be photographers

459
00:15:45,073 --> 00:15:47,076
and... and backpack
across Europe.

460
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,078
Will you take me away
from this madness?

461
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,167
And you are not
too short for me.

462
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:52,995
I don't care
what your mother says.

463
00:15:53,038 --> 00:15:54,344
Oh, Elaine!

464
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,823
Come!

465
00:15:55,866 --> 00:15:58,043
ELAINE:
Let's go to Vegas and elope!

466
00:15:58,086 --> 00:16:01,221
[Elaine whooping]

467
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:04,005
I feel slightly
rejected.

468
00:16:04,049 --> 00:16:07,618
Well... you were
slightly rejected.

469
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,620
Yeah.

470
00:16:09,663 --> 00:16:11,621
You okay?

471
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,102
Well, I'm not as
good as Elaine.

472
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:15,844
Who could be?

473
00:16:15,886 --> 00:16:18,802
I feel better than I've
felt in a long time.

474
00:16:18,846 --> 00:16:21,414
Good. I'm glad.

475
00:16:21,457 --> 00:16:24,113
Boobies.
[chuckles]

476
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,899
I don't think the badger's
actually rabid.

477
00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:29,423
I think, um...
he's just kind of a dick.

478
00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:30,772
So...

479
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,080
Hey, Nick.

480
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,038
You okay?

481
00:16:36,081 --> 00:16:37,125
Me? Yeah.

482
00:16:37,169 --> 00:16:38,213
You mean from the fall?

483
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:42,392
Yeah. And...
what we talked about.

484
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,090
Yeah. Look,
Jess, it's not...

485
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,874
you know, that
big of a deal.

486
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:48,136
And we tried.
It's just...

487
00:16:50,269 --> 00:16:53,881
You might be right about your
fears, you know, it's...

488
00:16:53,924 --> 00:16:57,102
Just... just say it.

489
00:16:57,145 --> 00:17:00,235
I-I think we should
call it, you know?

490
00:17:00,279 --> 00:17:02,543
It's not like we're
in love or anything.

491
00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:06,025
We had one night.

492
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:13,118
Okay, let's call it.

493
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:16,164
I think that
feels good to me.

494
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,252
Does that feel good to you?

495
00:17:21,778 --> 00:17:23,215
Right.

496
00:17:27,349 --> 00:17:29,090
ELIZABETH:
But you must have
feelings for her.

497
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:31,093
You tried to
sabotage her wedding.

498
00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:33,226
I sabotaged her
wedding as a friend.

499
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:34,662
I didn't want her

500
00:17:34,704 --> 00:17:38,099
to marry someone else
as a friend.

501
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,015
It's only romantic
because it's a wedding.

502
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,278
I would be just as happy
to sabotage, I don't know...

503
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,324
let's say, her tax audit.Schmidt.

504
00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:47,153
Weird day, huh?

505
00:17:47,195 --> 00:17:48,719
It's a beautiful wedding, Cece.

506
00:17:48,762 --> 00:17:50,242
Thank you.
It was Schmidt

507
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,548
that you were
talking about, right?

508
00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:58,555
It was.

509
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,167
I'm-I'm sorry, Elizabeth.

510
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:03,559
Don't be sorry.
It's not your problem.

511
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:05,039
It's Schmidt's.

512
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,127
Why is it...
why is it my problem?

513
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,217
Who's it gonna be?
Me or her?

514
00:18:09,609 --> 00:18:11,480
No, she's right.

515
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,829
You have to choose.

516
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,962
We're gonna do this now?

517
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:18,009
But can... can we sleep on it,
maybe? Maybe take the night?

518
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:21,143
I've got... I just got this
brand-new Coldplay bootleg.

519
00:18:21,186 --> 00:18:22,971
Live from Rotterdam.

520
00:18:23,013 --> 00:18:25,320
What if we just make some pasta
and really listen to it?

521
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,105
Are you in love with her
or are you in love with me?

522
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,153
You have to decide.

523
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,989
Can I get a beer?

524
00:18:41,031 --> 00:18:43,557
Heisler?
Perfect.

525
00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:45,427
[sighs]

526
00:18:45,471 --> 00:18:47,386
[clattering]

527
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,867
[grunting]

528
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,357
Hey, man.
Hey.

529
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:04,185
Bucky bit me.

530
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,579
Bit me bad.

531
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:07,624
Hmm.

532
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,278
Yeah. So, um...

533
00:19:09,321 --> 00:19:11,192
so I'm pretty dizzy.

534
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,804
Okay.

535
00:19:13,847 --> 00:19:17,067
Okay, what happened
with Jess?

536
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,201
We called it.

537
00:19:19,244 --> 00:19:20,855
And she left.

538
00:19:20,897 --> 00:19:24,597
Yeah, we-we called it off.

539
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:29,384
So, now I'm gonna drink,
because that's my move.

540
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:32,213
Yeah. That was also
your dad's move.

541
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,612
Yeah, when things get
messy, you just run away.

542
00:19:40,308 --> 00:19:43,137
But, you know, there
are other moves.

543
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,664
[chuckles]

544
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:50,189
Go.

545
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,973
Thanks, man.

546
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,455
[chuckles]

547
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:59,285
Hey, bartender,
can you call an ambulance?

548
00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:01,287
I'm about to bleed out.

549
00:20:01,329 --> 00:20:02,766
Thanks, man.

550
00:20:08,336 --> 00:20:09,903
Look, I know you think

551
00:20:09,946 --> 00:20:11,688
we should call it,
[sniffles]

552
00:20:11,731 --> 00:20:13,907
but I don't want
to give up on this,

553
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:15,778
even if we don't know
what this is.

554
00:20:17,519 --> 00:20:20,261
I want to un-call it.

555
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:24,440
Please, can we un-call it?
[sniffles]

556
00:20:24,483 --> 00:20:27,182
[sighs]
Before you say no...

557
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,012
Don't say no.

558
00:20:36,146 --> 00:20:38,540
♪

559
00:20:45,721 --> 00:20:48,202
[chuckling]

560
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,944
♪ Down, down in my bones...

561
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,772
Hey, give me the keys.

562
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:55,471
Where are we going?I don't know.

563
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,343
Where did we come from?

564
00:20:57,385 --> 00:20:59,170
Where do we go?

565
00:20:59,213 --> 00:21:00,693
[laughs]Where did we come from?

566
00:21:00,737 --> 00:21:03,173
[laughter]Shut up.

567
00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:05,351
Yeah, that was
"Cotton-Eyed Joe," wasn't it?

568
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,442
♪ You talk to me... [groans]

569
00:21:09,484 --> 00:21:11,313
[laughs]
I felt like something
was gonna happen.

570
00:21:11,356 --> 00:21:13,315
Let's go!Let's go!

571
00:21:13,358 --> 00:21:15,448
♪ So let's go to bed

572
00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:17,450
♪ Before you say
something real... ♪

573
00:21:17,492 --> 00:21:19,365
JESS:
Turn left.

574
00:21:19,407 --> 00:21:21,366
NICK:
No, I'm going to make
three rights.

575
00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:23,193
JESS:
No, Nick, just turn left!

576
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:24,718
NICK:
No, it's slower my way.

577
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,720
JESS:
Why would you want
to go slower?

578
00:21:26,762 --> 00:21:28,374
Because I want... ♪ 'Cause it's you

579
00:21:28,416 --> 00:21:32,247
You're an idiot! ♪ Oh, it's always you

580
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:36,295
♪ Oh, I always knew,
oh, it's you... ♪

581
00:21:40,385 --> 00:21:42,605
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org