1 00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:05,875 WINSTON: All right, Nick, we believe in you, man. 2 00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,224 Tell us, what's in the cup? 3 00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:08,573 Ah, it's a hard one. 4 00:00:09,791 --> 00:00:11,054 It's a mini carrot. 5 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,185 [laughter] 6 00:00:12,228 --> 00:00:13,143 Onion and potato? 7 00:00:13,186 --> 00:00:14,622 Dumbest boy in all the world. 8 00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,277 How are you so bad at Feely-Cup? 9 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,495 You are awful at this game. 10 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,236 Sea glass? I'm overthinking it. 11 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,890 If his life depended on this, he would die. 12 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,067 Battery.When are batteries squishy? 13 00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,850 I'm just kidding, I'm kidding-- I know it's not a battery. 14 00:00:25,894 --> 00:00:27,114 [knocking on door]I'm kidding. Feel, Nick. 15 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,766 WINSTON: Nick, will you 16 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:29,812 be paying for bonus time? 17 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,640 He can't; he is all out of quarters. 18 00:00:31,682 --> 00:00:33,728 SCHMIDT: Uh, Nick? 19 00:00:33,771 --> 00:00:35,295 Your dad's here. 20 00:00:35,338 --> 00:00:36,557 Very funny, Schmidty, but my concentration 21 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,081 will not be broken. 22 00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,344 Hey-ya, Nickels. 23 00:00:44,173 --> 00:00:45,348 Come on, kid, bring it in. 24 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,134 Come on! [laughs] 25 00:00:47,176 --> 00:00:48,700 Hello, Mr. Miller. Welcome to our home. 26 00:00:48,743 --> 00:00:50,137 Feely-Cup?Oh, yeah. 27 00:00:50,179 --> 00:00:51,094 Bring it on. 28 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,271 Watch this. 29 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,621 Tampon... 30 00:00:58,753 --> 00:01:01,277 Wrapped in duct tape... 31 00:01:02,278 --> 00:01:04,325 And dipped... in baking powder. 32 00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:06,239 Is that what it is? Oh, it is. WINSTON: Boom! 33 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,242 Next level Feely-Cup.Hello, Mr. Miller. 34 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,158 ♪ Who's that girl? 35 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,115 ♪ Who's that girl?♪♪ It's Jess. 36 00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:17,686 [whistles] 37 00:01:17,728 --> 00:01:19,340 This is a pleasant surprise. 38 00:01:19,382 --> 00:01:21,123 What brings you to Los Angeles, Dad? 39 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,170 Let me just, uh, clean up a little bit. 40 00:01:23,212 --> 00:01:25,171 You know, I just thought I'd stop by. 41 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,129 I'll sleep in your bed, you can go on the couch. 42 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,174 Sounds like us. 43 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:29,959 Hey. 44 00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:31,569 So, what does Mr. Miller do? 45 00:01:31,612 --> 00:01:33,570 Businessman. A what? He's a con man. 46 00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,355 He is a con man.He is a damn business-- What are you talking about? 47 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,835 He's a con man.He's a businessman. 48 00:01:36,878 --> 00:01:38,140 Winston's obsessed with Walt. 49 00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,360 That moustache first of all-- what?! 50 00:01:40,403 --> 00:01:42,319 It's like the world's sexiest push broom. 51 00:01:42,362 --> 00:01:44,365 A con man like, "What's the play?" 52 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,930 The, uh, Ring-A-Doo Johnnycakes? 53 00:01:45,974 --> 00:01:47,759 The, uh, Hollow Leg Swap-Em-Out? 54 00:01:47,802 --> 00:01:49,152 Yes, exactly. 55 00:01:49,195 --> 00:01:51,849 Fake trombones for a fake band. 56 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:53,156 Harold Hill! 57 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,939 Music Man? 58 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:57,378 [chuckling]No, he is not a con man, okay? 59 00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:59,509 You know, he sometimes used to sell hats. 60 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,337 There you go, boys-- enjoy. 61 00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:02,382 Thanks, Dad. 62 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:06,603 So many hats. 63 00:02:06,647 --> 00:02:09,171 Okay, technically, they were misprints. 64 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:11,217 This says: 65 00:02:11,260 --> 00:02:13,394 "Chica Go Bills." 66 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:16,439 Let's go, guys-- these hats suck. 67 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,400 "Chica Go Bills" is, uh, actually Spanish 68 00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:22,010 for "Young girl, go Bills." 69 00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:25,014 Who's gonna mess with a guy who's wearing a hat 70 00:02:25,056 --> 00:02:26,754 that says, "Young girl, go Bills?" 71 00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,757 I mean, the answer is everybody. 72 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,411 They will, they mess with you. 73 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,889 [Nick groaning] 74 00:02:31,933 --> 00:02:34,979 Oh, my... Nick, please do not angry-fix the sink. 75 00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,895 I'm not angry-fixing; I'm fixing! 76 00:02:36,938 --> 00:02:39,420 You want to know why I'm messed up? 77 00:02:39,462 --> 00:02:40,985 Why I don't trust people? 78 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,423 Why I have anger issues? 79 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:43,814 Oh, yes, I do want to know. 80 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,903 Why I have the blood pressure of a hummingbird? 81 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,296 [rapid banging] 82 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,258 [shouting]: about your dad?is is maybe 83 00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:55,086 WALT: And so Nickels comes 84 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,219 into my room screaming, "Daddy, Daddy." 85 00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,787 So I go, "What's wrong?" 86 00:02:58,829 --> 00:03:01,442 He says, "Daddy, I have a tick at the end of my tinkle." 87 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,400 Oh, my God! 88 00:03:03,443 --> 00:03:05,794 This is not a story for everyone.And sure enough, 89 00:03:05,836 --> 00:03:07,664 there is a tick 90 00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,449 at the end of his little penis. 91 00:03:09,492 --> 00:03:10,799 Not a story for this moment. 92 00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,278 That's how he got the nickname "Little Penis." 93 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,236 Oh, stop calling me that. 94 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,674 What are we gonna do with this guy?I have no idea, Pop-Pop. 95 00:03:16,717 --> 00:03:18,806 Don't call him Pop-Pop.That's his nickname. 96 00:03:18,849 --> 00:03:20,764 The nickname is longer than Walt.But that's the nickname 97 00:03:20,808 --> 00:03:23,072 that I gave him.Yeah, but it's really weird that you call my dad Pop-Pop. 98 00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:25,030 I like Pop-Pop.You don't get it. You don't get it. 99 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,336 Yeah, fine, just don't call him Pop-Pop, so... 100 00:03:26,379 --> 00:03:28,251 I think it's time for another drink. 101 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,338 What do you say, gorgeous? 102 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,818 You want to give an old man a hand? 103 00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:32,168 Sure. 104 00:03:33,516 --> 00:03:34,604 I don't know, Nick. 105 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:35,954 A lot of charm coming 106 00:03:35,997 --> 00:03:37,259 from this end of the booth. 107 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,478 'Cause that's what he does. 108 00:03:38,521 --> 00:03:40,263 He lures you in 109 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,483 with his charm and his moustache and his perfect hair. 110 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:45,268 I feel like you need to talk to him about this. 111 00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:46,486 Right, 'cause I'll just tell him how I feel, 112 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,052 and everything will be okay 113 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,445 'cause that's really the way the world works. 114 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:52,319 Took the words right out of my mouth, Little Penis. 115 00:03:52,361 --> 00:03:54,058 It's not a thing.I love a good nickname. 116 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,277 Not... not gonna stick. 117 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,453 You know, when Nick is not working here, 118 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,932 the service is abysmal. 119 00:03:57,975 --> 00:03:59,456 I mean, how many times did I have to repeat 120 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,110 the words, "Lemon Drop shot"? 121 00:04:01,152 --> 00:04:02,502 Yeah, I think he was making fun of you. 122 00:04:02,545 --> 00:04:03,938 For what? 123 00:04:03,981 --> 00:04:05,506 Working hard and playing hard? 124 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:06,637 I guess the joke is on me. 125 00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,900 [cell phone rings]Another Indian guy? 126 00:04:08,943 --> 00:04:10,336 My mom set me up.Oh, your mom. 127 00:04:10,379 --> 00:04:11,294 That's cool.Mm-hmm. 128 00:04:11,337 --> 00:04:13,469 Have fun with your, your Devs... 129 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:16,298 and your... and your An-Anujs... 130 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,432 or your Deepaks. 131 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,346 Whatever Patel you're dating. 132 00:04:20,389 --> 00:04:21,391 I'm-I'm not sweating it. 133 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,088 His name's Pavun, Pavun Shetty. 134 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,437 What? 135 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,745 As in, as in "Shetty Solutions"?I think so. Why? 136 00:04:27,788 --> 00:04:29,485 They only nailed the crowd-control logistics 137 00:04:29,529 --> 00:04:31,358 of Bombay's revamped open-air market. 138 00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,488 I thought you weren't sweating it. 139 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:35,884 I'm not sweating it. Sweating it. 140 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,408 Killing me with that Drop, dude. 141 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,584 You really seem to care about Little Nicky. 142 00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,370 I mean, look at him. 143 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:47,461 He looks like Hilary Swank mixed with a sad, wet dog. 144 00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,375 Do you think he's really angry at me? 145 00:04:49,418 --> 00:04:50,550 I think you need to talk to him. 146 00:04:50,593 --> 00:04:53,988 All I'm looking for is a second chance. 147 00:04:56,033 --> 00:04:57,471 You don't happen to believe in second chances, 148 00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:58,514 do you, Blue Eyes? 149 00:04:58,558 --> 00:05:00,343 Actually, I, um... 150 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:03,259 I'm a bit of a sucker for second chances. 151 00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:05,565 They're my first favorite kind of chance. 152 00:05:05,608 --> 00:05:08,612 Have you ever been to the racetrack? 153 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:15,444 NICK: Back at the tracks with my dad. 154 00:05:15,488 --> 00:05:16,490 When Nick was a kid, he would come 155 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,968 to the track with me all the time. 156 00:05:18,012 --> 00:05:19,362 And if I got in trouble, 157 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,362 he would get me out of it 158 00:05:20,406 --> 00:05:21,581 by doing the Sugar Ray. 159 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,497 Oh, the Sugar Ray.What's a Sugar Ray? 160 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,367 It's when I pretend to be a diabetic kid 161 00:05:25,411 --> 00:05:26,716 so the man who is threatening 162 00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:28,850 to beat up my father would run off scared. 163 00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:31,591 You see, we did have some good times, didn't we? 164 00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:32,810 Now, come on, let's make a bet. 165 00:05:32,853 --> 00:05:34,595 Here you go. 166 00:05:34,637 --> 00:05:36,423 What's the catch? 167 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,163 What catch? There is no catch. 168 00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:39,382 What possible catch can there be? 169 00:05:39,425 --> 00:05:41,297 All I want you to do is make a bet. 170 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,386 All right, Pop, you want me to lose your money? 171 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,387 I'll be happy to. 172 00:05:56,137 --> 00:05:57,444 Schmidt. 173 00:05:57,487 --> 00:06:00,055 Robby? 174 00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,838 Robby, what are, what are you doing here, man? 175 00:06:01,882 --> 00:06:04,319 I'm spying on Cece.Cece. 176 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,973 You know, I'm still in love with her, so... 177 00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:08,584 this is pretty much your basic broken-hearted spying thing. 178 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,281 It's why I got this hat. 179 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:11,980 Aw, come on, Robby, you got to get over that. 180 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,634 Wait a second, are you spying on Cece, too? 181 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,418 No. What? 182 00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:17,768 Are you still in love with Cece?No, that's still... 183 00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,596 Yes, I am. 184 00:06:19,639 --> 00:06:20,771 It's killing me. 185 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,250 Me, too! Bring it in, man. 186 00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:25,427 [grunts] 187 00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,519 What are you two doing here? 188 00:06:29,562 --> 00:06:31,129 Whoa, hey. Cece? 189 00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:32,391 Just nothing, we're just...Yeah, you know. 190 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,351 Do you think that she saw me? 191 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,093 What? Of course she saw you. 192 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,661 Do you think she saw me? 193 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,444 Well, yeah, you don't have a hat on. 194 00:06:42,488 --> 00:06:45,360 Nicky only had one dream when he was a kid-- 195 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:47,624 to own a family horse. 196 00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:51,889 That is so surprising 'cause it just doesn't seem like... 197 00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:53,673 Nick hates living things, 198 00:06:53,716 --> 00:06:55,370 so, like, it just doesn't really seem 199 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,154 like in line with what I know about him. 200 00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,331 All right, look... 201 00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,290 I want to buy a horse.Uh-huh. 202 00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:05,250 For me and Nick to own together. 203 00:07:05,293 --> 00:07:07,122 Oh!I found this beautiful horse. 204 00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:08,862 Gorgeous! Right. 205 00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,646 Me and you are gonna talk the guy down. 206 00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:11,822 I don't know how to do that. 207 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,475 I'll take care of that. Okay. 208 00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:15,696 Hey-ya, Dusty. 209 00:07:15,738 --> 00:07:18,262 Aw, ya gotta be kidding me! 210 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,481 How'd he find me? 211 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:20,569 Who was that? 212 00:07:20,613 --> 00:07:23,399 Eh, don't worry about him. 213 00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:24,487 What do you know about horses? 214 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,663 I know they're big. 215 00:07:26,706 --> 00:07:28,143 Perfect. 216 00:07:28,185 --> 00:07:29,927 JESS: This is a very sad case. 217 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,362 I mean... 218 00:07:31,406 --> 00:07:32,668 My niece, she goes to veterinary school. 219 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:33,582 We're all very proud of her. 220 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,932 JESS: Top of my class. 221 00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:36,499 So, what do you, uh, what do you think? 222 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,630 Terrible horse. 223 00:07:37,673 --> 00:07:38,848 She's very sickly. 224 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,548 He. He... He. He... He. 225 00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:42,853 Oh! 226 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,420 I wish I had brought my stethoscope. 227 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,553 I'm seeing a lot of split ends. 228 00:07:47,596 --> 00:07:50,557 The mane is totally the wrong cut for the shape of his face. 229 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,951 So you're saying that this horse, right now, the way it is, 230 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,213 will never race again?Damn it, Uncle Buck! 231 00:07:56,257 --> 00:07:58,216 This horse will never race again! 232 00:07:58,259 --> 00:07:59,608 Why did you fly me 233 00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:00,958 all the way out from Grenada 234 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,482 if you weren't gonna listen to me? 235 00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,355 [quietly]: Yes, con!Shh, shh, shh! 236 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,704 Okay, there are people in life 237 00:08:07,747 --> 00:08:09,706 who you want to be unpredictable. 238 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:13,449 Your pothead neighbor, or Vice President Joe Biden. 239 00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,233 And then there are people who you don't want 240 00:08:15,276 --> 00:08:17,365 to be unpredictable, like your dentist, 241 00:08:17,408 --> 00:08:19,716 or, I don't know, your father. 242 00:08:19,759 --> 00:08:21,630 Look, Nick, my dad left when I was three. 243 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:22,762 Every single day, 244 00:08:22,805 --> 00:08:24,939 rain or shine, he just never came back. 245 00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:26,636 I wish he'd been a little bit more 246 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,028 unpredictable; that's all I'm saying. 247 00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,725 I hear you. 248 00:08:29,769 --> 00:08:31,771 And yeah, sure, Walt may owe me a couple hundred bucks, 249 00:08:31,814 --> 00:08:32,816 but it's not a big deal. 250 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,774 My dad owes you money? How much? 251 00:08:34,817 --> 00:08:36,777 Three, 400... like 1,100 bucks. 252 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,649 Oh, my God, he's with Jess. 253 00:08:39,692 --> 00:08:40,736 He's gonna rip her off. 254 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,696 He's gonna rip her off. 255 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,567 I feel like Cece's making a big mistake 256 00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:45,828 with this Indian guy. 257 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,571 She should be with somebody like us.Totally. 258 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:49,745 White Guy Power. 259 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,142 Okay, um... 260 00:08:54,184 --> 00:08:56,057 Cool Guy Power.Now you're talking, Robby. 261 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,667 What are we gonna do?I don't know. 262 00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:01,802 I mean, one billion Indian men is a daunting foe. 263 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,368 Suddenly I feel empathy for Pakistan. 264 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,847 But it's like they say, 265 00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,807 "How do you eat an elephant, Robby?" 266 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,155 With chopsticks. 267 00:09:08,198 --> 00:09:09,635 What?Slowly, with chopsticks. 268 00:09:09,678 --> 00:09:11,419 That's-- no-- with chopsticks?!In a taco. 269 00:09:11,462 --> 00:09:12,725 What?You have elephant tacos. 270 00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,466 Elephant tacos? Who eats elephant tacos? 271 00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:15,990 That's not even a saying. Oh. 272 00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:17,294 One bite at a time, Robby. 273 00:09:17,338 --> 00:09:18,774 One bite at a time. Yes. 274 00:09:18,818 --> 00:09:20,734 One bite at a time. This is what I'm thinking. 275 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:24,780 I use my superior powers of manipulation and persuasion 276 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,477 to get Cece to take you back. 277 00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:29,786 Once we've neutralized the sub-continental threat, 278 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,221 I smite you. 279 00:09:31,265 --> 00:09:32,484 What? What? 280 00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:34,661 You said you're gonna smite me? 281 00:09:34,703 --> 00:09:36,619 Smite-- defeat gloriously for Cece's hand. 282 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,011 No, I know what it means.But that's someday. 283 00:09:38,054 --> 00:09:41,318 For now, let's scheme, my "broheem." 284 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,017 Okay... I just want to reiterate 285 00:09:43,059 --> 00:09:45,628 that I'm not on board with the smiting. 286 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,803 Whatever.But I like the "broheem" thing a lot. 287 00:09:47,847 --> 00:09:49,197 Let's concentrate on the broheem part. 288 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,501 Concentrate on... okay.And smite later. 289 00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,678 Yeah, okay, yeah.Cheers, broheem. 290 00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:53,897 You got a great deal. 291 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:56,639 Good luck, Doc.Thanks. NICK: Dad! 292 00:09:56,682 --> 00:09:58,553 Hi, boys.Can I tell him? 293 00:09:58,597 --> 00:09:59,860 I would rather keep it a secret. 294 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,426 Nick, your dream finally came true. 295 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,558 We got you a horse. 296 00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:05,692 It's not my dream to own a horse. What? 297 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,649 Did you use my friend to buy a horse? 298 00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:08,869 [cell phone rings]What? No, I swore you wanted...? 299 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,260 Will you excuse me? I gotta take this call. 300 00:10:10,304 --> 00:10:11,480 That is unbelievable, Dad. 301 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,785 He had this whole thing-- he was gonna 302 00:10:12,828 --> 00:10:14,091 name the horse "A Father's Love" 'cause you guys 303 00:10:14,134 --> 00:10:15,265 always wanted to have a horse together. 304 00:10:15,309 --> 00:10:16,572 Tell me you didn't give him money. 305 00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:18,269 Actually, actually, that's a funny story 306 00:10:18,312 --> 00:10:21,490 because I'm actually an investor in... 307 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,490 [groans]: God! 308 00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:23,491 God! 309 00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:24,536 [groans] 310 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:25,841 Walid, drop dead! 311 00:10:25,885 --> 00:10:27,148 Damn, Pop-Pop. 312 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,322 Stop calling him Pop-Pop!WALT: Now, listen, 313 00:10:28,365 --> 00:10:29,716 I already got people standing by 314 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,066 to take the horse off our hands. 315 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:34,721 Horse semen in Dubai is gold. 316 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,809 No, you can't sell "A Father's Love." 317 00:10:36,852 --> 00:10:39,334 There's more to "A Father's Love" than just semen. 318 00:10:39,376 --> 00:10:41,596 Ew, poetic, but ew. 319 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,816 Dad.Dusty, I see you 320 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,469 and we're doing this right now. 321 00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,732 DUSTY: No, no, no, no, no...!WALT: Dusty! Get over here. 322 00:10:46,775 --> 00:10:48,908 We got your back, Pop-Pop. 323 00:10:48,951 --> 00:10:49,822 Damn, Pop-Pop, man. 324 00:10:49,865 --> 00:10:51,346 Give me that. [grunting] 325 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,913 Okay, okay, okay! 326 00:10:53,956 --> 00:10:55,741 Father, we got your back, Father. 327 00:10:59,745 --> 00:11:00,964 Five hundred dollars? 328 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,532 You stole $500 from her to buy that horse? 329 00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,839 I didn't steal anything from her. 330 00:11:05,881 --> 00:11:08,711 She saw the opportunity for a business investment, 331 00:11:08,754 --> 00:11:09,885 and she took advantage of it. I mean... 332 00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:11,758 Dad, she will believe anything. 333 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:12,932 That's not true, Nick. 334 00:11:12,975 --> 00:11:15,283 My real name is Jamil.It is? 335 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,937 No, my name is not Jamil! 336 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,416 Nick, that was not fair.It is Nick, you know that! 337 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,721 You told me in confidence. 338 00:11:19,765 --> 00:11:21,201 How could you think my name was Jamil? 339 00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:22,769 Well, he's weird.That's a good point. 340 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:23,769 Just wait for one hour. 341 00:11:23,812 --> 00:11:24,988 You see, I go meet the buyer, 342 00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:28,077 I sell them our horse for a huge profit, 343 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,905 and because these suckers think our horse 344 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,951 is Big Brown's nephew, they'll overpay. 345 00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,955 Blue Eyes gets her money back with interest. 346 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,433 Sounds like a great plan. We'll come with you. 347 00:11:36,477 --> 00:11:38,827 And I'll watch you give Jess her money back. 348 00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:39,960 Yeah! 349 00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:41,134 Please, please, don't do this to me. 350 00:11:41,177 --> 00:11:42,352 We're doing it.No, no, you... 351 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,572 You don't understand, 352 00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:44,746 you're not a sales guy, okay? 353 00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:45,966 He... he starts to sweat. 354 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,533 Nick only sweats if there's lying involved. 355 00:11:48,576 --> 00:11:50,404 And there's not lying involved, is there? 356 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,929 We're coming with, Dad. 357 00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:54,931 Check this out. 358 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,585 We get seersucker suits...Yeah. 359 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:57,933 And two more guys, 360 00:11:57,977 --> 00:12:00,240 and then we serenade her with a barbershop quartet. 361 00:12:00,283 --> 00:12:01,764 Well, if we got ten more guys and a plan, 362 00:12:01,807 --> 00:12:03,765 we'd form an Ocean's Twelve. 363 00:12:03,809 --> 00:12:05,942 I would be Brad Pitt, you'd be the crafty Asian fellow 364 00:12:05,985 --> 00:12:09,119 who does the, uh, who does the flippies.Oh, I got a great idea. 365 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,686 We can name a star after her, all right? 366 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,166 I know this Web site, and we could put one 367 00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:14,471 that's right near the Robbies one through eight. 368 00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:16,474 You have eight stars?There's, like, a billion stars, they're really cheap. 369 00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:18,475 But eight of them are yours?That's only going to go up in value. 370 00:12:18,519 --> 00:12:19,956 It's a horrible investment. 371 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,827 I know she's into that Gandhi crapola. 372 00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:23,003 We could self-immolate. 373 00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,004 I feel like we're so close.Wait, Robby. 374 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,875 I got it. 375 00:12:26,919 --> 00:12:28,791 [rhythmically pounding on door]SCHMIDT & ROBBY: Cool... Guy... Power! 376 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,793 Cool... Guy... Power! 377 00:12:30,836 --> 00:12:32,273 [chanting faster]: Cool Guy Power! Cool Guy Power! 378 00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:33,577 Cool-- hey. 379 00:12:33,621 --> 00:12:35,798 Is this happening?Yes. 380 00:12:35,841 --> 00:12:37,234 Why are the two of you even together? 381 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,452 Are you wearing a traditional sari? 382 00:12:38,495 --> 00:12:40,802 Yes.I begged you to wear a sari. 383 00:12:40,846 --> 00:12:42,849 I had all these sari-related sexual scenarios. 384 00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,501 Shh!"Monsoon Bedding." 385 00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,940 "The Best Erotic Mari-bone Hotel." 386 00:12:46,982 --> 00:12:48,811 Stop that."Slum-Doggy-Style Millionaire." 387 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,248 But, what, you're wearing the sari for who? Let me see this guy. 388 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,642 No! What... Schmidt! Robby!You're wearing it for him... 389 00:12:53,684 --> 00:12:56,471 SCHMIDT: Oh, my God. 390 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,865 Are you... you're having an orgy here?Mm-mm. 391 00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,866 This is a big Indian orgy?Oh, for God sakes. 392 00:13:00,909 --> 00:13:03,043 They're all wearing their clothes...I'm telling you, it's an orgy. 393 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,523 Pavun and I can't go on a date until our families... 394 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,524 meet. 395 00:13:07,568 --> 00:13:09,484 We saw you on a date earlier.That wasn't a date. 396 00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:12,052 I was meeting Pavun's uncle, Manish. 397 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:12,922 SCHMIDT: Manish. 398 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:16,490 That is Pavun. 399 00:13:16,533 --> 00:13:19,014 Oh, that's Pavun. Oh, my God, look at this guy, he's gorgeous. 400 00:13:19,058 --> 00:13:20,668 SCHMIDT: What are you talking about? 401 00:13:20,711 --> 00:13:21,669 I don't have a chance here. Look at his features. 402 00:13:21,712 --> 00:13:22,671 Look at your features, man. 403 00:13:22,713 --> 00:13:23,672 You're just as gorgeous. 404 00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:24,846 I mean, kind of. 405 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,893 You're kind, you always have gum... 406 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,068 and you've got so much pep. 407 00:13:29,111 --> 00:13:30,025 ROBBY: You know what, look: you are confident, 408 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,158 and you're punctual, 409 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,375 and you came up with this awesome plan. 410 00:13:32,419 --> 00:13:34,248 Yeah, we came up with this awesome plan. 411 00:13:34,290 --> 00:13:35,902 Together.You know what, screw it, I don't even care anymore. 412 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,337 White Guy Power! 413 00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:38,774 That's "white guy."All right, man. 414 00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,994 Let's do it. All right.White Guy Power. 415 00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:42,865 Qui... you got to quit it with that, man. 416 00:13:42,908 --> 00:13:44,213 I'm telling you, it's a little racist. 417 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,912 Get out of here before I throw you out. 418 00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,652 All right.He is so organized, you know? 419 00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:48,914 I am just... I'm learning a ton. 420 00:13:55,746 --> 00:13:57,445 I'm ready for this. This is good. 421 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:58,446 JESS: This is really exciting. 422 00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,013 This is my first 423 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,753 middle of the night parking lot horse deal. 424 00:14:02,928 --> 00:14:04,451 This is not gonna work, they're gonna... 425 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:05,975 It's gonna work. It's gonna work. 426 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,410 Gonna work fine.Take control of this, please. 427 00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:10,110 I got it, I got it. Yes.We got it. We got it, Walt. 428 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,894 Hey, look, will you do me a favor, please? 429 00:14:11,937 --> 00:14:14,070 Let me handle this. Just because my dad is in town, 430 00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:14,897 I'm not gonna put you in harm's way. 431 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,029 Yup. Okay. 432 00:14:17,072 --> 00:14:17,943 Twist my arm. 433 00:14:17,986 --> 00:14:20,120 I'll be the lookout. 434 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,250 Just keep your head down. 435 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,297 I've got this totally under control. 436 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,130 Hi-ya, fellas. 437 00:14:31,173 --> 00:14:32,914 How you doing?Eh, I'm good. You? 438 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,134 I'm good. 439 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,135 Just getting over a little cold. 440 00:14:36,178 --> 00:14:39,052 Yeah, I get a little agita myself every once in a while. 441 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,269 Hey, what's going on, everybody? How you guys doing? 442 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,270 Nice to see you. This is my dad; I'm Nick. 443 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:42,272 Cool half-turtleneck. 444 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,317 How you doing, fellas?Good. 445 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,361 Just getting over a little cold. 446 00:14:45,405 --> 00:14:47,147 Good. 447 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,538 He makes the white? 448 00:14:48,582 --> 00:14:50,192 This horse is more semen than he is horse. 449 00:14:50,236 --> 00:14:51,933 [laughing] 450 00:14:51,977 --> 00:14:52,934 That's disgusting. 451 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,980 Good. We want semen. 452 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:58,027 Well, you guys are gonna get semen. 453 00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:01,116 You'll get a bunch of horse semen. 454 00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,729 Wait until it's next to a lady horse. 455 00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:06,121 Trust me. 456 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,602 What's the matter? Is sweat? 457 00:15:08,645 --> 00:15:10,344 I don't see sweating. He's not sweating. 458 00:15:10,386 --> 00:15:11,388 Why he sweating so much? 459 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:12,606 No, no, no, I don't sweat too much. 460 00:15:12,649 --> 00:15:13,650 Why is... are you a cop? 461 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:14,783 Cop? No, no, no, no! 462 00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:15,740 Sweat like a cop. 463 00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:17,133 Take off your clothes. 464 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,831 Why would I do that?Aw, just take off your clothes. 465 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,876 Take it now.He just wants to see that you're not wearing a wire. 466 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,052 I would like you to defend me here. 467 00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:23,966 Now! Take it off! 468 00:15:24,009 --> 00:15:26,011 Take it off.No. 469 00:15:26,054 --> 00:15:27,534 Now! Take it off!Take off your clothes! 470 00:15:27,577 --> 00:15:29,971 Take off your clothes! 471 00:15:30,015 --> 00:15:31,147 Take off your belt! 472 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,062 Take off your belt. 473 00:15:33,105 --> 00:15:34,585 Now, dance. 474 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:37,631 [both singing folk song in native language] 475 00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:46,379 Turn around. Turn around. 476 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,772 Okay, okay, okay. 477 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,990 WALT: All right, all right, all right. 478 00:15:49,034 --> 00:15:50,905 Yeah, look, look, He's got no wire. 479 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,994 He's not... he's not 480 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,212 a policeman, he's... 481 00:15:53,255 --> 00:15:54,692 Guys, I'm not wearing a wire. 482 00:15:54,735 --> 00:15:56,172 I'm not a cop. 483 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,826 I just sweat like this when I'm lying. 484 00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:58,870 MAN: Lying? 485 00:15:58,913 --> 00:16:00,089 Lying?WALT: No. 486 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:01,221 Nobody is lying. No... 487 00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,134 You lying to me? 488 00:16:02,177 --> 00:16:03,875 Tire iron! Tire iron! 489 00:16:03,918 --> 00:16:05,225 You're lying! 490 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,269 [gibbering] 491 00:16:08,879 --> 00:16:10,056 [squawks, grunts] 492 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,621 What is he doing? 493 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,058 The... the gum! 494 00:16:13,101 --> 00:16:14,798 The gum had sugar in it. 495 00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:16,192 MAN: These guys are weird. 496 00:16:16,235 --> 00:16:17,453 Weird.[Nick gibbers] 497 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,586 MAN 2: Strange! 498 00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:19,673 MAN: You're weird. 499 00:16:23,068 --> 00:16:24,025 [gibbering] 500 00:16:26,158 --> 00:16:27,986 [tires squeal as SUV drives off] 501 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,251 [engine starts] 502 00:16:32,294 --> 00:16:36,081 [tires squealing] 503 00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,171 Now you have to talk to each other! 504 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,086 You've been conned. 505 00:16:41,129 --> 00:16:42,261 God, I'm good. 506 00:16:42,304 --> 00:16:43,480 That's not a con, Jess! 507 00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,221 You're just driving away. 508 00:16:50,269 --> 00:16:51,966 I was ready to get your friend's money 509 00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:52,967 back for her, okay? 510 00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:54,056 But you insisted on coming here. 511 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,230 You know what? 512 00:16:55,274 --> 00:16:56,405 You know what's funny about you? 513 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,321 Somehow, you have made this... 514 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,496 seem like my fault. 515 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,499 This isn't my fault! 516 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,153 I didn't invite you here! 517 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,113 JESS: Keep talking. 518 00:17:07,155 --> 00:17:09,549 This is good for you guys. 519 00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:13,249 Are you angry at me about something, Little Penis? 520 00:17:13,292 --> 00:17:17,731 I have been mad at you for 30 years, Dad. 521 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:21,126 30 years?I am not a successful adult. 522 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:25,131 I don't eat vegetables and/or take care of myself. 523 00:17:25,173 --> 00:17:27,262 And it's because of you. 524 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:30,309 Well, okay, maybe I'll take a little bit of that hit. 525 00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,137 Look, it's not "taking a hit." 526 00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:36,097 It's just saying sorry. 527 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:40,015 I think you look cold. I'm gonna give you my pants. 528 00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:41,756 I don't want your pants.Come on, take the pants! 529 00:17:41,798 --> 00:17:43,758 Dad, please don't do that.You say I do nothing for you. 530 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,499 Let me give you my pants.I don't want your pants! 531 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:47,108 Don't do this. Please don't do this. 532 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,588 Take my pants. 533 00:17:49,589 --> 00:17:51,417 This is making it worse! 534 00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:56,204 Dad, the... 535 00:17:58,163 --> 00:17:59,077 This is ridiculous. 536 00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:02,080 Okay. 537 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:07,041 All right, maybe, uh... 538 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,653 maybe I did make some mistakes along the line, okay? 539 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:19,184 We all make mistakes, Dad. 540 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:22,839 Hey, what do you say, tomorrow, we go to a game? 541 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,406 Any game, you pick it out. 542 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,844 I'm in. 543 00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:28,193 [metal grinding] 544 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,544 You're welcome! Son of a... 545 00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:33,328 This thing doesn't turn so well. 546 00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,853 Do you think Cece and Pavun will make it? 547 00:18:35,896 --> 00:18:37,159 I don't know. 548 00:18:37,202 --> 00:18:38,464 Really can't say. 549 00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,205 What I can say is that one arranged marriage 550 00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,294 did take place today. 551 00:18:41,336 --> 00:18:43,644 The marriage of Schmidt and Robby. 552 00:18:43,686 --> 00:18:46,429 [laughs] Hell, yeah. 553 00:18:46,472 --> 00:18:48,997 I only dread the day that we defeat all the Indians, 554 00:18:49,039 --> 00:18:51,346 and must face each other in a duel to the death. 555 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:52,653 Yeah. 556 00:18:52,695 --> 00:18:55,002 Buzz kill. 557 00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:57,309 We're like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. 558 00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:59,137 Except only one of us dies at the end of the movie. 559 00:19:00,442 --> 00:19:01,356 It's gonna be you. 560 00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,358 You're the one that's gonna die. 561 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:06,144 You want another beer?Sure do, compadre. 562 00:19:08,885 --> 00:19:10,365 Hey, Walt. 563 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,366 What are you doing? 564 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,412 I thought you were gonna go 565 00:19:12,454 --> 00:19:13,413 to a game with Nick today. 566 00:19:13,455 --> 00:19:15,109 Going to get a bagel. 567 00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:16,198 In Chicago. 568 00:19:16,241 --> 00:19:18,374 No! No, I can't... 569 00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:20,246 No. Um, I can't let you go. 570 00:19:20,288 --> 00:19:21,289 This means too much to Nick. 571 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,030 You can't just say 572 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,118 you're gonna do things and then not do them. 573 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,424 What was that?What was what? 574 00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:26,903 That. What? What? 575 00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:31,865 Damn, you're good. 576 00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:34,390 Listen, Blue Eyes, do me a favor, will ya? 577 00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:36,522 Will you tell him for me that I, uh... 578 00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:39,874 You know, that I... 579 00:19:39,916 --> 00:19:42,268 Just keep an eye on him for me, will ya? 580 00:19:46,445 --> 00:19:49,449 [door closes] 581 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,409 Jess, if you're gonna mess with my sink, 582 00:19:53,452 --> 00:19:54,453 put some goggles on. 583 00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:55,715 Your eyes are twice the size 584 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,718 of normal eyes; it's a bigger target. 585 00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,939 Walt's gone. 586 00:20:01,982 --> 00:20:03,419 [wry laugh] 587 00:20:03,462 --> 00:20:04,724 I know how hard 588 00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,249 it was for you to talk to him, and I just... 589 00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:12,253 some people, I just don't under... they just-- aah! 590 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,647 And I understand why you want to break pipes now. 591 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:17,432 Let's just drink a bunch and destroy the sink. 592 00:20:17,477 --> 00:20:21,262 I don't need to break the pipes, Jess; I'm fine. 593 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,482 I mean, truth be told, I was happy to see him. 594 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:25,528 I thought if you talked to him that maybe... 595 00:20:25,571 --> 00:20:26,963 No... Look, Jess... 596 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,314 people don't change. 597 00:20:28,356 --> 00:20:31,142 If someone's broken, they just stay broken. 598 00:20:31,185 --> 00:20:32,970 You're not broken. 599 00:20:33,013 --> 00:20:35,494 I'm a little broken. 600 00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:37,497 No, no, no... no. Oh, yeah. 601 00:20:37,539 --> 00:20:38,932 You should be so much worse. 602 00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,065 Seriously, you could be picking up calls on a banana. 603 00:20:41,108 --> 00:20:42,458 You could be, like, 604 00:20:42,501 --> 00:20:43,415 [goofy voice]: "Hello?" 605 00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:45,982 I don't know how you made it out. 606 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:49,377 But... you're good. 607 00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,296 Well, look, there's a lot I don't tell you. 608 00:20:54,339 --> 00:20:56,906 I haven't done laundry in five months. 609 00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:58,560 I'm not wearing underwear. 610 00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:01,477 I'm just wearing a big sock right now.Really. 611 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,219 A bigsock. [laughs] 612 00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:05,786 A very big sock. I got it. 613 00:21:05,828 --> 00:21:07,482 [quiet laugh] 614 00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:08,701 What do you think about this? 615 00:21:08,744 --> 00:21:10,007 We get a three-person canoe, okay? 616 00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:12,401 Then we got to her house and we rap on the door. 617 00:21:12,444 --> 00:21:14,229 She answers the door, she sees the three-person canoe. 618 00:21:14,272 --> 00:21:15,796 She realizes there's only two of us, 619 00:21:15,838 --> 00:21:19,494 and we say, "Ah, what a conundrum. Please join us." 620 00:21:19,538 --> 00:21:21,671 How about this one? We get some night-vision goggles. 621 00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:23,499 All right, that's all I got. 622 00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:24,760 I don't... I don't know what else. 623 00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:26,414 I mean, I would say Trojan horse, but... 624 00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,721 In this economy?I mean, we could always go on a hunger strike. 625 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:32,464 We enlist in the Navy, we quickly rise through the ranks, 626 00:21:32,508 --> 00:21:35,468 and then we can take her to the Naval Officer's Ball. 627 00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:37,296 Feel like we're right there!