1
00:00:08,137 --> 00:00:10,096
Hey.

2
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,185
You're a big girl. You can watch
The Walking Deadalone.

3
00:00:12,228 --> 00:00:13,752
Sam booty-called me.

4
00:00:13,795 --> 00:00:15,057
Ooh, Sam, he's so hot.

5
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:16,754
I don't care.
Good night.
Don't!

6
00:00:16,798 --> 00:00:18,321
What?I need your help.

7
00:00:18,365 --> 00:00:20,411
I don't know what to do.
I'm terrible at casual sex.

8
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,413
I left him in there
with crayons

9
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:23,675
and paper, like he's a kid

10
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,763
in a restaurant,
and I told him I had to check

11
00:00:25,807 --> 00:00:27,417
my fantasy football.You don't even know
what that is.

12
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,073
No, sir, I do not know
what that is.

13
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:31,379
I panicked. Help me.

14
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:33,554
Look, you can't separate
your feelings from sex?

15
00:00:33,597 --> 00:00:35,426
So what? You're a girl.

16
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,472
I deserve to have a shorty
on the side.

17
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,213
Okay, a shorty is not... that's
the wrong use of "shorty."

18
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,301
[door opens]

19
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,345
Hey, I drew a cat.Uh, sorry, man.

20
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,435
She's, uh, checking her
fantasy football 'cause she...

21
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,698
Yeah, I'm not gonna do this,
so I-I don't even...

22
00:00:46,741 --> 00:00:50,093
♪ Who's that girl? ♪ Who's that girl?♪

23
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,311
♪ It's Jess.

24
00:00:56,185 --> 00:00:58,274
WINSTON:
Are we gonna talk
about it?

25
00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,015
Talk about what, Winston?

26
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,496
The belt, Schmidt.
Please explain the belt.

27
00:01:02,539 --> 00:01:05,108
It's after Labor Day.
I'm wearing whales.

28
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,370
The dumbest thing ever.NICK:
You look like

29
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:08,676
the bad guy
in an '80s high school movie.

30
00:01:08,719 --> 00:01:11,375
I'll have you guys know
that Kanye wore this belt, okay?

31
00:01:11,418 --> 00:01:13,942
Let me just say that word
one more time: Kanye.
Kanye?

32
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:15,117
Yeah, and he looked
beautiful in it.

33
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,293
His whole
midsection lit up.

34
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,512
What is your obsession
with Kanye?

35
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,382
Befriending Kanye
is the most efficient way

36
00:01:19,426 --> 00:01:20,906
for me to jump
social strata.

37
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,385
Now all I have to
do is meet him,

38
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,126
and then dazzle him
to the point that we're

39
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:25,475
each other's last call
before bed.

40
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,737
"Yo, what up, K?

41
00:01:26,781 --> 00:01:28,349
"Yeah, I'm just going to sleep.

42
00:01:28,391 --> 00:01:29,828
"You watching Fallon?

43
00:01:29,871 --> 00:01:31,394
That brother's crazy."WINSTON:
Hey, Tagg Romney.

44
00:01:31,438 --> 00:01:33,266
You know if your dad's
gonna win the election?

45
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,311
[laughing]: He does
look like a Romney.

46
00:01:34,354 --> 00:01:35,920
Telling me
that I look like one

47
00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:37,401
of the most handsome
men in politics

48
00:01:37,444 --> 00:01:39,141
does not hurt my feelings,
Winston.

49
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,188
Last night was horrible.

50
00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:42,537
Sam came over,

51
00:01:42,579 --> 00:01:44,495
we tried to make out,
I stopped it,

52
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,496
and then we just

53
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,150
laid there

54
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:50,326
like two old couple
in The Notebookwaiting to die.

55
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:52,503
Jess, I get it-- you're
the type of person that...

56
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,765
you need to ease
into these kind of things.

57
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,289
Let us take you out
tonight, okay?
Uh-uh.

58
00:01:56,332 --> 00:01:57,986
And that way, you...
you can feel like,

59
00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,554
you know, you're going
on a date first.

60
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:01,730
Yes! Like we're all dating

61
00:02:01,772 --> 00:02:03,165
in a large, nonsexual
friend group.

62
00:02:03,209 --> 00:02:05,341
My nightmare.
Have fun. I'm out.

63
00:02:05,385 --> 00:02:06,951
Come on, Nick. Please?

64
00:02:06,995 --> 00:02:08,170
Why are you doing
this, Jess?

65
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,347
Why don't you just
date a guy that--

66
00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:11,435
I don't know--
you like?

67
00:02:11,478 --> 00:02:12,610
This is good for me.

68
00:02:12,653 --> 00:02:13,829
I always jump
into relationships.

69
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,438
Plus, Sam's not
the kind of guy

70
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:18,181
you spend Saturdays
in your sweatpants with.

71
00:02:18,224 --> 00:02:19,355
He's the kind of guy...

72
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,052
[quietly]:
you bone.

73
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:23,012
I can't help. I'm at a crucial
point in my zombie novel.

74
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:24,840
You selfish bastard.
I'm not a
selfish bastard.

75
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,276
I just have to...
I have to get through...You're a selfish bastard.

76
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,670
I'm so sick of this
zombie novel nonsense.Not nonsense.

77
00:02:29,713 --> 00:02:31,237
Friends help friends
have meaningless sex, okay?

78
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:32,543
Now, you're going.

79
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,328
End of story.
You got it.

80
00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,981
Where are you, Schmidt?
This place is fancy,

81
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,288
and I don't know which fork
to kill myself with.

82
00:02:39,332 --> 00:02:41,639
I got to bail!
Kanye's at this club tonight.

83
00:02:41,682 --> 00:02:43,814
What are you talking about?
This was your idea.

84
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,555
Can't miss this, Nick.
I got the belt on.

85
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,992
I took Winston with me
to prove that I can be friends

86
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,385
with black people,
even oddly shaped ones.

87
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:50,257
Just shut up, Schmidt!

88
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,692
Shut up! This is ridiculous.

89
00:02:51,735 --> 00:02:53,173
I'm leaving right now.
Good-bye.

90
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,349
Whoa. [chuckles]

91
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:59,353
Wow. I forgot what you look like

92
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,268
when you're not dressed
like the Loft Troll.

93
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,400
Pardon?Sorry, I didn't...

94
00:03:03,443 --> 00:03:07,883
What I mean to say is
you look va-va-va-vavooms!

95
00:03:07,925 --> 00:03:10,014
[snickers]
Hello, nurse!

96
00:03:10,058 --> 00:03:13,409
Hubba-bubba! Meow! Zing!
You can stop me at any time.

97
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:14,889
Are the guys coming, or...?No.

98
00:03:14,932 --> 00:03:16,631
It's just us-- they bailed--
so if you want to go

99
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,633
back to the loft, or we can both
go back to the loft.

100
00:03:18,675 --> 00:03:21,243
We're already here.But we're already
here, so...

101
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,159
Can I get you a chair, milady?

102
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,421
So weird.
Yeah.

103
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:27,381
[loud, gruff voice]:
Loft Troll

104
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,121
not used
to fancy gentleman!

105
00:03:29,164 --> 00:03:31,253
Shut up.
That was loud.

106
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,254
[chuckling]:
Why are you yelling?

107
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:33,256
[chuckles]

108
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,301
On the list.

109
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:40,045
Winston! You've been staring at
this girl for five minutes.

110
00:03:40,088 --> 00:03:41,611
I hope you're
checking her out.

111
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:42,918
Otherwise, you're
a serial killer,

112
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,441
which would
explain a lot.

113
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,615
No. Checking her out?

114
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,096
No, dude, I'm in
a relationship.
I know.

115
00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:49,445
Like, happily.
Shelby, we're...

116
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,448
Shelby and I haven't
had sex in three weeks.

117
00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:53,276
For real?
We're in a bit
of a rut.

118
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,932
Not now. I have to
go to the bathroom.

119
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,461
I'm cheating on Shelby.What?

120
00:04:04,504 --> 00:04:06,507
No, no, in my mind.In your mind...?

121
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:09,205
I'm cheating on Shelby
in my mind, man.So what? So what?

122
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:11,075
What do you mean, "So what?"
I'm doing it all the time.

123
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,729
Like, I'm doing it a lot.
I can't control myself, man.

124
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,427
Listen, everybody does it
every minute all the time.

125
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,646
How do you think I get
through the day, man?

126
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,562
[chuckles] Okay. Wow.

127
00:04:18,605 --> 00:04:21,521
Um, in that case...

128
00:04:21,564 --> 00:04:25,481
Hey, lady, can I
introduce you to...

129
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,745
this lady?

130
00:04:27,788 --> 00:04:30,531
This place is
crazy expensive.Schmidt picked it.

131
00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,358
I can afford the valet
charge and the "add onions."

132
00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:37,451
Then you'll be happy to meet
my little Scottish friend.

133
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:40,715
You unexpected genius.

134
00:04:40,757 --> 00:04:42,324
Is that whiskey?White wine.

135
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,326
White wine?!

136
00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:46,502
Why would you do wine?

137
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:50,812
Nope.
All right, my man.

138
00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,466
Not gonna happen.
Schmidt?

139
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:53,683
It's the belt, man.

140
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,425
Take off the belt.Okay, the only thing

141
00:04:55,468 --> 00:04:57,514
I know in this world
is this belt is amazing.

142
00:04:57,557 --> 00:04:59,036
Look, if you're gonna
wear that thing, just...

143
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,343
just make it work
for us, okay?
You got a plan?

144
00:05:01,387 --> 00:05:02,605
Yeah, I got a plan,
of course.

145
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:04,346
All right, go talk
to your peeps.

146
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,392
It's not my peeps.It's your peeps, man.
Go talk to them.

147
00:05:06,435 --> 00:05:08,177
Don't say...
don't do this.Yeah, man, come on.

148
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,439
I mean, come on.
Really?
Yeah, word.

149
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:12,790
We got Tagg Romney out here.

150
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,356
We're gonna need you
to sweep the the perimeter.

151
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,925
What the hell
you talking about?

152
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:19,362
Tagg Romney.
Pleasure to meet you, sir.

153
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,363
Romney. Like,
Mitt Romney's your dad?

154
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,670
Let's get America back to work.

155
00:05:24,584 --> 00:05:27,935
Here's the thermos.
Thanks.

156
00:05:27,978 --> 00:05:29,632
You know, the drunker you get,

157
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,591
the more obvious you're being
with the thermos.

158
00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:33,420
"Thermose?" "Thermas?"

159
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:34,942
I'm sorry.
I don't understand.

160
00:05:34,985 --> 00:05:36,031
What's a "thermoos?"

161
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,511
That one right there
in your hand.

162
00:05:37,553 --> 00:05:40,252
Oh, the "thermase?"
[chuckles]

163
00:05:40,295 --> 00:05:42,384
This is fun.This is really fun.

164
00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:44,168
[cell phone ringing]

165
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:45,562
It's Sam.

166
00:05:45,605 --> 00:05:48,391
He's done with work,
and he wants to "hang out."

167
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,393
He's got a job, too?
Poke a hole in that condom.

168
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,961
Thank you, Nick.

169
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,745
I now feel ready
to have meaningless sex.

170
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,529
I do what I can, so...Hey, do you need
money for the...?

171
00:05:56,572 --> 00:05:58,444
Half the soup? No,
I think I got it.

172
00:05:58,487 --> 00:06:00,533
Loft Troll eats fancy soup.

173
00:06:00,576 --> 00:06:02,230
Get out of here,
would you?

174
00:06:03,449 --> 00:06:04,538
Go have fun.

175
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:10,413
Excuse me.

176
00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:12,502
Can I get an ice bucket
for this bad boy?

177
00:06:12,545 --> 00:06:15,810
And more than your normal amount
'cause this is a thermos, so...

178
00:06:18,072 --> 00:06:19,814
[sighs]

179
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:25,646
♪

180
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:28,038
WINSTON:
Ah...

181
00:06:28,082 --> 00:06:29,649
I see what we're
doing here.

182
00:06:29,692 --> 00:06:31,478
We're stalking your
ex-girlfriend.

183
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,523
Oh, is Cece here?

184
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,264
Schmidt.

185
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,266
Cece, what up?

186
00:06:37,308 --> 00:06:38,572
So, where's, uh, Blobby?

187
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,487
Where's... where's Blobby?
Where's that dude?

188
00:06:40,529 --> 00:06:43,663
Oh, you mean my boyfriend?
His name's Robby.

189
00:06:43,706 --> 00:06:47,014
Excuse me. My friend is too
embarrassed to come over here,

190
00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:49,365
but she said she heard
from someone in line

191
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,322
that you're a Romney.[Cece laughs]

192
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,064
I am...She's right over there.

193
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:55,805
Oh, yeah, I'm a Romney.

194
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,851
Hell, yeah, I'm a Romney.CECE:
Oh, come on!

195
00:06:57,894 --> 00:07:01,028
Security, remove the threat.
Remove the threat. Code red.Is that how bad it is?

196
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,031
Right this way, ma'am.
Come on!
Hey, that woman is
stupid enough to believe...

197
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,379
Remove the obstruction, please.
Code red. Code red.

198
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,076
Winston, I thought
you were better than this.

199
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,470
SCHMIDT:
I'm so sorry.

200
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,036
I am a huge supporter.

201
00:07:09,079 --> 00:07:11,255
In '08, I was the national
cochair of Kappas for Romney.

202
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,692
You caught me. I'm a Romney.

203
00:07:12,735 --> 00:07:15,956
I'm trying to be
incognito, so just...

204
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,045
You're... Tagg?

205
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,612
Tugg.
Tugg?

206
00:07:18,654 --> 00:07:20,134
Tugg Romney, yeah.

207
00:07:20,177 --> 00:07:21,528
I'm Tugg Romney.

208
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,529
Tagg's everywhere.
Too much Tagg for me.

209
00:07:23,572 --> 00:07:24,747
Tugg.

210
00:07:27,228 --> 00:07:29,536
Whoo! What a night.

211
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,927
What a crazy night.

212
00:07:30,971 --> 00:07:33,540
Yeah, me, too.
I found a dollar on my way out

213
00:07:33,582 --> 00:07:35,976
of the restaurant. I used it
to buy a slice of pizza.

214
00:07:36,019 --> 00:07:37,194
One day closer to death!

215
00:07:37,238 --> 00:07:39,502
Winston, what is
wrong with you?

216
00:07:39,545 --> 00:07:42,723
No. Nothing wrong with me, girl.
I'm just brushing my hair.

217
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:45,202
I just want to say
that I had meaningless,

218
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,596
wonderful sex
last night with Sam.

219
00:07:46,639 --> 00:07:49,512
And that sex would
not have been possible

220
00:07:49,555 --> 00:07:51,774
without the efforts
of a one Nick Miller.

221
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,384
Ugh! But okay.

222
00:07:53,428 --> 00:07:55,082
I don't want to kiss and tell,

223
00:07:55,125 --> 00:07:56,737
but he did ruin my dresser
during intercourse.

224
00:07:56,779 --> 00:07:58,564
Come on!
Why are you saying that?

225
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:01,392
Will you go to Ikea with me?Sure, I'm not doing anything.

226
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,744
But don't let me lay my eyes
on the Malm collection.

227
00:08:03,786 --> 00:08:05,920
I can't afford it, and I'm
a sucker for it every time.

228
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,529
I'll go get my golf pencils.

229
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,096
WINSTON:
Mm-hmm.

230
00:08:09,139 --> 00:08:11,533
If you got something to say,
my man, just say it.

231
00:08:11,577 --> 00:08:13,709
Hey, look, a man can only
sit back and observe

232
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,233
but for so long
before he has to speak his mind.

233
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,278
Then speak your mind.

234
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,367
A line has been crossed,
all right?

235
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,413
You, my friend,
have become her fluffer.

236
00:08:21,456 --> 00:08:22,893
Like in porn?

237
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,415
An emotional fluffer.

238
00:08:24,459 --> 00:08:25,678
I'm an emotional fluffer?

239
00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:26,940
You got to set
some boundaries, all right?

240
00:08:26,983 --> 00:08:28,550
You're gonna
start fulfilling

241
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,771
ever single need of hers,
all right?

242
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,729
Doing all the things
that a boyfriend would do...

243
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:35,557
Winston......for some other dude
who ain't doing nothing.

244
00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:37,298
And I'm her friend.You're her boyfriend.

245
00:08:37,341 --> 00:08:39,126
No, I'm not her boyfriend.You're a boyfriend
without the rewards.

246
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:40,562
How about this?
Why don't you just shut up?

247
00:08:40,606 --> 00:08:42,956
Hey, Nick, you ready?
Yeah.

248
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,959
So it's not available
at the closest Ikea,

249
00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:47,134
but it is available at
the second-closest Ikea,

250
00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:48,745
which is about
45 minutes...

251
00:08:48,788 --> 00:08:50,572
if we could drive
over the reservoir.

252
00:08:50,616 --> 00:08:52,706
But we can't, so...

253
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,924
it's about an
hour and a half.Cool.

254
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:58,494
I had so much sex
last night. [chuckles]

255
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,322
Fluffer.

256
00:09:02,453 --> 00:09:04,586
You're gonna get caught.Impossible.

257
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,633
I've been studying
Romney trivia all day long.

258
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:09,287
Memorizing Dad's gestures
so I can mimic him.

259
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,072
You're calling Mitt Romney "Dad"
now? That's where we're at?

260
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:13,160
Mm-hmm.
Schmidt, we get it.

261
00:09:13,203 --> 00:09:14,815
He's the dad
you never had.

262
00:09:14,857 --> 00:09:17,817
Okay, all-knowing
Indian god Ganesha,

263
00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:19,427
this is about sex.

264
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:20,864
You know they have
Romney Olympics

265
00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:22,386
every summer at the lake house?

266
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:23,953
I bet that's a hoot.
I'm sure it's like

267
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,696
the real Olympics, only the
white people win the sprints.

268
00:09:29,437 --> 00:09:31,048
Okay, so you good?
Okay.

269
00:09:31,091 --> 00:09:32,701
Yeah.

270
00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:33,834
Hey, Nick, any chance

271
00:09:33,876 --> 00:09:35,618
you understand
how to put this together?

272
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,663
I think it looks
pretty easy, actually.

273
00:09:37,706 --> 00:09:40,536
No, you know, I'm
actually busy. I'm, uh...

274
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,668
I'm moving money around.

275
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,495
I'm-I'm diversifying.
I've got...

276
00:09:43,538 --> 00:09:45,453
And I'm not your
fluffer, by the way.

277
00:09:45,496 --> 00:09:46,716
What's a fluffer?

278
00:09:46,759 --> 00:09:48,239
In pornography,

279
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,197
it's the person who
keeps the actor...

280
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,200
motivated, aroused,
you know?

281
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,722
Ew! That's a job?

282
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:56,812
And that's what I am.
I'm your emotional fluffer.

283
00:09:56,856 --> 00:09:59,686
I'm there whenever
you need a guy.

284
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,208
You want a cup of tea,
I'll make it.

285
00:10:01,251 --> 00:10:02,514
You lose your phone,
I'll call.

286
00:10:02,557 --> 00:10:04,559
You're my friend.
That's what friends do.

287
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,649
I'm you boyfriend
without the rewards.

288
00:10:06,692 --> 00:10:07,649
Oh?

289
00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:09,609
Yeah.

290
00:10:11,871 --> 00:10:14,048
You're saying you want the...?

291
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:17,746
No! No, no, no, no, no.
Not with you. Blecch!

292
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:20,315
Don't say "blecch!"I don't want it.

293
00:10:20,357 --> 00:10:22,664
I'm not disgusting.
It's not an unheard of thought.

294
00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:25,232
Blecch!Come on. Admit it,
you've thought about it.

295
00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:26,321
You and me, sexually?
Nope.

296
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,582
Blecch!
Never thought about it once.

297
00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:29,716
Don't lie.
Not on purpose.

298
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,500
Sleeping Nick is a totally
different guy.

299
00:10:32,543 --> 00:10:35,243
You know you did when you walked
in on me doing deep lunges.

300
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,114
Yeah, check my Google
history, Jess.

301
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,725
It's filled with girls
doing deep lunges.

302
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,379
I mean, I'll admit
I've thought about it.

303
00:10:42,379 --> 00:10:44,730
Yeah.
When was this?

304
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:46,863
Last year. Just once.

305
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:49,125
[English accent]:
Would you like to eat me?

306
00:10:49,169 --> 00:10:51,693
What do you mean?
Aren't you a little small?

307
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:54,130
What, are you nuts?!
[laughs]

308
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:55,784
[sobbing]:
What happened?

309
00:10:55,828 --> 00:10:58,178
Why am I doing this?

310
00:10:58,221 --> 00:10:59,788
That's what does it for you?

311
00:10:59,832 --> 00:11:01,485
Yeah, I thought about it
for five minutes,

312
00:11:01,529 --> 00:11:04,272
and then I realized it would
never, ever work between us.

313
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,621
Yeah, I agree.
That's how I see it.

314
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,144
Great. I'm glad we agree
on something.
Me, too!

315
00:11:08,188 --> 00:11:10,712
Great.Out of curiosity, why do
you think that, though?

316
00:11:10,756 --> 00:11:13,410
Because you drive
me nuts, Miller!

317
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,370
Because you're
always sighing,

318
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:17,371
like you're the president
of the United States

319
00:11:17,414 --> 00:11:19,504
and you have to decide whether
we're going to war or not.

320
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,942
I sigh because you
sing about everything.

321
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:22,985
I do not.

322
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,422
♪ And I hate it.

323
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,772
♪ You sing and dance
about nothing. ♪

324
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,163
You're cheap!

325
00:11:27,207 --> 00:11:28,904
You are so cheap.I'm not cheap.

326
00:11:28,948 --> 00:11:31,865
You never, ever put money
in any tip jar, ever.

327
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,909
What are you talking about?I've never seen you
ever do that.

328
00:11:33,953 --> 00:11:35,302
Last week, when we
went to the coffee shop.

329
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,086
You put nickels
in the tip jar!
You know what

330
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,001
a jar is in my business?Nickels!
Nickels are worse

331
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:42,222
than no money; it's an insult.It's just a little
boy saying, "Love me!

332
00:11:42,265 --> 00:11:43,745
Give me attention!"You're a bartender.

333
00:11:43,789 --> 00:11:45,442
You live on tips.
You should know better.The nickel?

334
00:11:45,486 --> 00:11:47,445
The only American currency...You can't not give
someone a tip

335
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,230
because you don't like tip jars!...graced with the face
of Thomas Jefferson.

336
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:51,231
Well, I think
that's rude, Nick!
I didn't
realize you were on the fence

337
00:11:51,274 --> 00:11:52,798
about the Louisiana Purchase...You hate everything!

338
00:11:52,841 --> 00:11:54,625
...Jessica!
And I could never
live with that.

339
00:11:54,669 --> 00:11:56,411
I barely live with it now!

340
00:11:56,453 --> 00:11:59,370
But you need me
to have sex.

341
00:12:02,198 --> 00:12:04,201
Oh, that's what you think?

342
00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:07,465
I'm calling Sam,

343
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:08,815
and we're gonna go on a date.

344
00:12:08,857 --> 00:12:10,773
And we're gonna
talk our faces off.

345
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:13,123
Okay?
Good luck.
Good luck with that.

346
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,995
Can't find your phone, Jess?No, I'll find it.

347
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,909
'Cause I'm not calling
you this time.Are you happy now?

348
00:12:16,952 --> 00:12:18,955
Now I have to get to know
the guy I'm sleeping with.

349
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,957
[cell phone ringing]

350
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,570
NICK:
That was a pocket dial!

351
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:26,832
That was an ill-timed
pocket dial!

352
00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:28,008
I will not
explain myself!

353
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:28,791
[door slams]

354
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,404
I just wish I had a lot
more solo Tugg time.

355
00:12:34,448 --> 00:12:35,450
You know?

356
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,712
Well, you can be
Tugg with me.

357
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:40,629
Sometimes I think that
I'm just a riddle that,

358
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,673
well, even I can't solve.

359
00:12:45,024 --> 00:12:46,982
Yeah, see? I tried
to solve it again.

360
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,073
[knocking at door]

361
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,075
Hi.
Hi.

362
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,380
I hope it's okay,

363
00:12:53,423 --> 00:12:55,034
I invited over some of
the Kappas For Romney.

364
00:12:55,077 --> 00:12:56,905
Kappas For Romney!
Courtney.

365
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,908
Such a pleasure.Courtney.
I'm April.

366
00:12:58,951 --> 00:13:00,649
April.
They just got
so excited when I said

367
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:01,780
I met one of the Romney boys.

368
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,652
Oh, no, who wouldn't be?Did you ask him?

369
00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,306
I think April's in love
with your brothers.

370
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,003
Who isn't?
Who's the shy one?

371
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,221
Who's the joker?
Who's tried coffee?

372
00:13:08,264 --> 00:13:09,571
COURTNEY:
April, you're such a spaz.

373
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,615
Yeah, no, nobody gets rowdy
like us Romney boys.

374
00:13:11,659 --> 00:13:13,182
Just a bunch of alphas,
you know what I mean?

375
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,183
Yeah.
[giggling]

376
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,837
That is, of course,

377
00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:18,405
unless we're fishing
on Lake Winnipesauke.

378
00:13:18,448 --> 00:13:19,972
There's nothing that
I love more than just

379
00:13:20,015 --> 00:13:22,192
getting out on
the water with Dad,

380
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,932
the freezing cold dawn,

381
00:13:23,976 --> 00:13:25,543
a couple of cold beers in hand.

382
00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:27,023
Having that one
quick moment...

383
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,633
Your dad doesn't drink.
He's a Mormon.

384
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:31,767
Well, we don't drink
the beers, Courtney.

385
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,465
You know, we just buy them
to support American breweries.

386
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,076
Then we dump them
in the lake.

387
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,860
'Cause we're Americans.

388
00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:43,082
So... um...

389
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:45,085
I want a casual sex affair,
just like in the movies.

390
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,434
Nice.
But it turns out...

391
00:13:47,477 --> 00:13:49,437
I need some conversation first.

392
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,960
So...

393
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,048
If you want to hang...
No.

394
00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:53,701
...hang out more...
I don't...

395
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:55,572
I don't want to
hang out more.
Okay.

396
00:13:55,616 --> 00:13:57,226
Because, if I hang
out with you,

397
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,054
it's just the truth, I'm
gonna fall in love with you.

398
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,057
It's just how I am.
I can't separate things out.

399
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,320
Question:
Under what circumstances

400
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:06,105
would you build a
dresser for a woman?

401
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,585
And this is, like...

402
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,673
and I'm not interested
in sleeping with her?

403
00:14:09,717 --> 00:14:10,806
Um...

404
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,808
Am I being blackmailed?
No.

405
00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:15,071
Oh, is it like a...

406
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,245
it's like a Make-A-Wish
Foundation type thing?

407
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:19,596
No.
I mean...
Yeah. Marriage.

408
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,250
You know, anything
besides marriage is a...

409
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,557
you know, an abuse.

410
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,993
An abuse?

411
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,604
Yeah, you can't
do that to a friend.

412
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,519
Unless your friend's a chump.

413
00:14:28,562 --> 00:14:30,956
Or a certified carpenter--
that would work.

414
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,610
Wait a minute.
This isn't a sex thing, is it?

415
00:14:33,654 --> 00:14:34,917
Because I... you know,

416
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,049
I can't pleasure a woman

417
00:14:37,092 --> 00:14:39,312
and build a dresser
at the same time, you know?

418
00:14:39,355 --> 00:14:40,443
I'm not God.

419
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,317
[muffled moans]

420
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:49,018
Hey.
[grunting]

421
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,279
Hey!

422
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,107
Hey! Hey, hey, hey,
what's going on, man?

423
00:14:52,152 --> 00:14:53,196
Are you going
to the dark place?

424
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,588
I'm not going to
the dark place, okay?

425
00:14:54,631 --> 00:14:56,634
I did what you said,
I told her I didn't want

426
00:14:56,677 --> 00:14:58,158
to be her fluffer,
and it went great.

427
00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,419
Then what is wrong
with you? Get up, man.

428
00:14:59,462 --> 00:15:00,942
Look, I did what you said,
and I feel terrible.

429
00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:03,206
Because you didn't
set boundaries.

430
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,511
I don't know what
that means, Winston.

431
00:15:04,554 --> 00:15:06,340
As a friend, you can
lift a heavy object,

432
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,168
but you can't drive her
to the airport, okay?

433
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,125
You can hold the
elevator, but only

434
00:15:10,169 --> 00:15:11,649
if you see her running
down the hallway

435
00:15:11,692 --> 00:15:13,042
saying, "Hey, man, please
can you hold the elevator?"

436
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:14,956
No picnics,
no mini-muffins

437
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,176
and never Adele.

438
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:17,394
Adele?
Never Adele.

439
00:15:17,437 --> 00:15:19,178
Adele's amazing.
No Adele.

440
00:15:19,221 --> 00:15:20,788
No concerts, no music,
no T-shirts, no nothing.

441
00:15:20,831 --> 00:15:22,529
But guys and girls...Never Adele!

442
00:15:22,572 --> 00:15:25,010
A little Adele.
[chuckles]

443
00:15:25,053 --> 00:15:27,577
Hey. Hey. Hey!
Hey! Hey!

444
00:15:27,621 --> 00:15:30,145
Nick! You're gonna
calm down, okay?

445
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,234
You want my help
or what, man?

446
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:32,756
Yes.

447
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:33,758
Don't be so intense.

448
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:36,196
Most importantly...

449
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,240
you will not build
her that dresser.

450
00:15:38,284 --> 00:15:39,764
It's furniture.

451
00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:41,070
It implies that one day,

452
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:43,245
you will share it with her.

453
00:15:43,289 --> 00:15:44,855
And that's not gonna happen.

454
00:15:44,899 --> 00:15:47,859
You're right.
You're right.

455
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,475
Are-are you spelling it right?

456
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,433
Two "G"s, silent "B."

457
00:15:57,477 --> 00:15:58,434
Here's a picture

458
00:15:58,479 --> 00:15:59,653
of the whole family.

459
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,221
And you are not in it.

460
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,918
Yeah, well, somebody had
to take the picture, Megan.

461
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:04,658
Just admit it.
You're not a Romney.

462
00:16:04,701 --> 00:16:07,009
Oh, I'm not a Romney?
Would a non-Romney know this?

463
00:16:07,052 --> 00:16:09,620
That Ma and Pa
never go to bed angry.

464
00:16:09,663 --> 00:16:11,491
That there are 16 grandchildren,

465
00:16:11,534 --> 00:16:14,102
Allie, Joe, Thomas, Gracie,
Wyatt, Parker, Miles, Jonathan,

466
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,888
Sawyer, Nate, Nash, Mia, Owen,
Soleil, Nick and Chloe.

467
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,238
Those are just facts

468
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,413
you got from the Internet.

469
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,241
I'm proud to be a Romney.

470
00:16:22,284 --> 00:16:25,071
Okay? I'm proud to have had
a dad that was around

471
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:26,201
when I was growing up.

472
00:16:26,245 --> 00:16:28,073
A dad that took me camping,

473
00:16:28,116 --> 00:16:30,076
a dad that spent
Saturdays with me,

474
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,513
throwing...
throwing the football.

475
00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:34,036
A dad that gave me a wink

476
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,864
when I left for prom night

477
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,952
and said, "Be safe, son."

478
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:40,216
When I think of a dad like that,

479
00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:41,522
I'm proud not only

480
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,437
of the Romney name,
but of this country.

481
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,917
God bless Mitt Romney.

482
00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,224
God bless America.

483
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:52,053
It's a candid shot from
the governor's biography.

484
00:16:52,097 --> 00:16:54,100
The caption says,
"The whole family.

485
00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,451
Nitpicking turns me off.

486
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:00,149
You're all horribly
unattractive to me.

487
00:17:00,192 --> 00:17:02,150
Tugg Romney, out.

488
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:08,983
Hey.

489
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,768
I got your text.

490
00:17:10,811 --> 00:17:12,553
When you're going through
a Taylor Swift-like

491
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:15,250
range of emotions,
I should come over, right?

492
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,339
You were the only one
that I could talk to.

493
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:20,691
Being brown, you have
the wisdom of 1,000 white women.

494
00:17:20,734 --> 00:17:21,778
All right.

495
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:23,825
What happened
with that girl?

496
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,523
Winston.

497
00:17:28,742 --> 00:17:29,787
Winston.

498
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:31,788
Hey.
Hmm?

499
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,313
Are you serious right now?Well, I...

500
00:17:33,355 --> 00:17:35,357
He-he said it was okay.She is off limits.

501
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:36,750
Go call your girlfriend.

502
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,188
You obviously have things
you need to work out.

503
00:17:39,231 --> 00:17:40,493
Fine. Fine.

504
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,758
But for the record,
it was loving and tender

505
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,193
and you squeezed
my hand at the end.

506
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:46,804
Get out of here!

507
00:17:46,847 --> 00:17:47,805
Deviant.

508
00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:50,112
Okay, so...

509
00:17:50,155 --> 00:17:51,721
tell me what happened.

510
00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:53,549
Well, I'm back
to being Schmidt.

511
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:54,942
I'm gonna miss it, though.

512
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,552
Being a Romney.

513
00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:58,032
Schmidt, your life
would not have been better

514
00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,035
if you were a Romney.

515
00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:03,211
Cece, look, my dad left

516
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:04,518
when I was eight.

517
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,127
Okay?

518
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,304
And then he went and had
three kids with his new wife,

519
00:18:08,347 --> 00:18:10,175
and me and my mom
were just these two weirdos

520
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:11,915
who belonged to nobody.

521
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,743
Until she started
spending all this time

522
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,136
with this woman from work who...

523
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,964
who she still lives with today.

524
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,836
Schmidt.

525
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,273
He's your dad. All right?

526
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,752
Find a way to forgive him

527
00:18:22,797 --> 00:18:25,843
for not being a presidential
candidate with great hair.

528
00:18:25,886 --> 00:18:27,192
Forget it.

529
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,324
No one understands.

530
00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:33,328
There, I thought you
needed that, okay?
[sighs]

531
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,722
Just take a breath,
and it will...
Shh.

532
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:38,160
Shh, shh, shh.

533
00:18:38,203 --> 00:18:40,205
It's like memory foam.

534
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,298
Call your dad.

535
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:50,651
You've been cheating
on me in your mind?

536
00:18:50,693 --> 00:18:52,957
Yes, but, like, to be
fair, you were there.

537
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,394
A lot of times, you would just
pop up mad, but you were there.

538
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:58,354
Winston, come on, it's fine.
Look, you can think about

539
00:18:58,397 --> 00:18:59,834
whatever you want
to think about.

540
00:18:59,876 --> 00:19:02,183
I know I'm the one
you want to be with.

541
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,446
Come on, want to come
upstairs and watch some SVU?

542
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:07,189
You want to watch
SVUright now?

543
00:19:07,232 --> 00:19:08,538
Well, I'm too wound up
to watch Raymond.

544
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,365
Look, sometimes after
a big fight,

545
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,280
I like to cool off
with some TV.

546
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,630
What do you mean,
big fight?

547
00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:15,675
We just had a fight.We hardly talked.

548
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:17,981
Like, I want to talk, I want to
fight, I want to do something!

549
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:21,071
Well, maybe we can fight
in your mind.

550
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:28,036
Hey.

551
00:19:28,078 --> 00:19:29,298
Stop.

552
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,431
Jess...
Stop. Do not...
Come on, Nick.

553
00:19:31,473 --> 00:19:33,040
Don't build
that dresser, please.

554
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,346
Jess, it's fine.
I have another one.

555
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,782
I need, like, three
to build this thing.

556
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,262
I can't let you fluff me.

557
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:39,439
I can't let you work
in emotional porn.

558
00:19:39,481 --> 00:19:40,875
You have too much to offer.

559
00:19:40,917 --> 00:19:42,006
Forget it, Jess.

560
00:19:42,049 --> 00:19:43,137
I'm building you the dresser.

561
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,704
I love this stuff.

562
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:45,792
It's like high-stakes Legos.

563
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,317
Okay, but...

564
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,666
I didn't know what
I was doing to you.

565
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:53,583
I've always had relationships
in different boxes.

566
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,063
Friends in one box,

567
00:19:55,105 --> 00:19:57,065
boyfriends in another.

568
00:19:57,107 --> 00:19:58,893
But now...

569
00:19:58,935 --> 00:20:01,416
it's messy, and...

570
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:03,593
I don't want to screw up
what I have with you.

571
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,595
You're too important to me.It's different with us.

572
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:09,511
We're just two people
who want to be friends,

573
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:11,471
but are sometimes
attracted to each other.

574
00:20:11,513 --> 00:20:12,950
Ha!
No, no...

575
00:20:12,993 --> 00:20:14,299
You have thought
about the reward.

576
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,650
That's not what I said.

577
00:20:16,692 --> 00:20:17,867
My calculations were correct.

578
00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:19,434
I love deep lunges.

579
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,307
[laughs]
Just don't make
a big deal of it.

580
00:20:21,349 --> 00:20:23,134
I just don't need

581
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,701
a bunch of people

582
00:20:24,744 --> 00:20:26,747
telling me what we can
and can't do together.

583
00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:28,965
That pisses me off.

584
00:20:29,009 --> 00:20:30,532
If I want to build
you a dresser,

585
00:20:30,576 --> 00:20:32,186
I'm gonna build you
a damn dresser.

586
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:35,711
But if you want to
have dates before sex,

587
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:38,105
just do me a favor

588
00:20:38,148 --> 00:20:40,194
and have them with the guy
you're having sex with.

589
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,849
Agreed.
Good.

590
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:44,894
Maybe I should just
stop trying with Sam.

591
00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:46,635
I'm old-fashioned
below the belt.

592
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,637
I've got a Civil War-era
piece of equipment,

593
00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:49,943
and that's all she wrote.

594
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:53,382
All right.

595
00:20:53,425 --> 00:20:55,427
I got to give you
something now.

596
00:20:57,167 --> 00:21:00,259
Something... really
close to my heart.

597
00:21:01,346 --> 00:21:03,392
That's Nick's Sexy Mix.

598
00:21:03,435 --> 00:21:05,567
AKA the original fluffer.

599
00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,961
"The Humpty Dance"
does it for you, Nick?

600
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:10,311
Do your thing, girl.

601
00:21:10,355 --> 00:21:11,574
Get crazy.

602
00:21:11,617 --> 00:21:14,446
♪

603
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,711
When we're done,

604
00:21:17,753 --> 00:21:20,234
I want you to immediately
turn this off.

605
00:21:20,278 --> 00:21:22,280
Yes.

606
00:21:23,281 --> 00:21:25,284
[muffled song continues]

607
00:21:28,155 --> 00:21:32,155
[upbeat song begins]Ooh... [chuckles]