1 00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:03,612 SCHMIDT: Jess. 2 00:00:03,698 --> 00:00:05,004 Yeah. 3 00:00:05,091 --> 00:00:06,179 Can I ask you something? 4 00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:07,572 You want my help? 5 00:00:07,658 --> 00:00:09,531 Sure. 6 00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:11,314 You consider me a sexy man, correct? 7 00:00:11,401 --> 00:00:13,752 I don't know how to answer that question.Okay, look, 8 00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,449 I'm meeting a girl for drinks tonight, 9 00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:17,277 and I'm probably going to bring her back here for sex. 10 00:00:17,364 --> 00:00:19,280 I have to get to school 'cause it's Astronomy Day 11 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,021 and I'm dressing up like Galileo 12 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,544 so I have to put on my beard.I get that, 13 00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:24,153 but as a lady, 14 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,894 where in the room do I look sexiest? 15 00:00:25,981 --> 00:00:29,289 You know, like, like where am I best on display-- here? 16 00:00:32,118 --> 00:00:36,905 Here or... here? 17 00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:38,255 Hey, what is going on...? 18 00:00:38,341 --> 00:00:39,865 Um, Schmidt wants to know 19 00:00:39,951 --> 00:00:42,085 where in his room he looks the sexiest. 20 00:00:42,171 --> 00:00:43,390 Well, it's a big room. 21 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,740 What are your choices? 22 00:00:44,826 --> 00:00:45,697 Okay, I'm glad you asked. 23 00:00:45,783 --> 00:00:48,439 All right, here. 24 00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,396 Mm. 25 00:00:52,268 --> 00:00:53,966 Here... 26 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,707 or here, you know, maybe just reading a book or... 27 00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,100 That's a lot of options. Could you do 'em again really fast? 28 00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,362 You want to see 'em again? 29 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,191 Please. Okay, here, 30 00:01:01,277 --> 00:01:03,497 here, 31 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,543 here. 32 00:01:05,629 --> 00:01:08,067 Wait, what was the first one again?Yeah. 33 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,548 Okay, I get it, all laugh at Schmidt, great. 34 00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:13,769 Here, here... 35 00:01:13,855 --> 00:01:16,859 ♪ Hey, girl ♪ 36 00:01:16,945 --> 00:01:19,121 ♪ What you doing? ♪ 37 00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:22,081 ♪ Hey, girl ♪ 38 00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:25,040 ♪ Where you going? ♪ 39 00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,521 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪♪ Who's that girl?♪ 40 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,132 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 41 00:01:29,218 --> 00:01:31,525 ♪ Who's that girl?♪♪ It's Jess. ♪ 42 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:38,009 I'm so excited to meet him. 43 00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:39,882 No, Jess, he's sleeping. 44 00:01:39,968 --> 00:01:41,057 He flew in late last night. 45 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,537 We took him straight to the bar. 46 00:01:42,623 --> 00:01:44,015 Took a bunch of shots, got drunk, 47 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,539 screamed "I love America," 48 00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,542 now he's happily passed out. 49 00:01:47,628 --> 00:01:50,240 Let's let him sleep.Guess I'm not the new kid anymore. 50 00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:52,634 Just one of the guys.You're still the new kid. 51 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,896 Winston lived here before Coach did.So Coach said 52 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,158 that they used to play basketball 53 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,551 together in college, 54 00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,597 but then Winston went pro? 55 00:01:59,683 --> 00:02:01,990 In Latvia, okay? He went, went pro in Latvia. 56 00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:04,298 It's a big difference. Well, the team logo 57 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:06,951 is a fig, just a, just one single fig. 58 00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:09,216 Oh, you're jealous-- that's so cute. 59 00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:11,000 Of Winston? No, no, no, I'm not, I'm not jealous of Winston. 60 00:02:11,086 --> 00:02:12,393 Okay, it's been two years. 61 00:02:12,479 --> 00:02:14,350 He's gonna have to recognize. 62 00:02:14,437 --> 00:02:16,048 I'm a lot flyer now. Want to see me flex my base? 63 00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:17,180 NICK: No, no, no, no, no, no. 64 00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:18,442 Put your shirt on. 65 00:02:18,528 --> 00:02:19,835 Let me flex my base, man.Put your shirt on. 66 00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:21,097 Ba-boom.It's the morning. 67 00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,751 [whispering]: He's going to love it. 68 00:02:22,837 --> 00:02:24,534 Jess, what are you doing? 69 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:25,796 What is, what is she doing? 70 00:02:29,844 --> 00:02:31,454 [gasps] 71 00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,501 Who, w-what, what, what, who...? 72 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,545 I'm Jess. 73 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,591 ♪ I'm Je... ♪ 74 00:02:36,677 --> 00:02:38,680 WINSTON: What's happening? 75 00:02:38,766 --> 00:02:40,682 Why are you doing that?! 76 00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:42,858 ♪ ...ess. ♪ 77 00:02:42,944 --> 00:02:44,947 I can't believe you didn't tell me he was hungover. 78 00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:47,079 I totally told you he was hungover. 79 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,343 I said he was drunk at the bar and now he's passed out. 80 00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:50,822 Hi, Winston. 81 00:02:50,908 --> 00:02:53,737 Hey, I apologize for what happened before. 82 00:02:53,824 --> 00:02:55,348 Not cool, bad call. 83 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:59,134 I've been talking to the guys about boundaries, so 84 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:00,266 I totally get it. 85 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,616 Perfectly fine, no problem. 86 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,967 Do you have a tank top I could borrow? 87 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,576 You look like you're about my size. 88 00:03:06,663 --> 00:03:08,318 It's just that I'm really low on clothes 89 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,189 right now 'cause I broke up with my boyfriend. 90 00:03:10,276 --> 00:03:12,931 Oh, God.I caught him cheating, and I just, like, grabbed 91 00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,324 whatever I could and...SCHMIDT: Jess, you know what? 92 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:15,629 I'll let you check my lost and found. 93 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:16,978 It's where I keep all the stuff that girls 94 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,199 leave behind in my room after we fo'nicate. 95 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,808 Got sizes 96 00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,331 zero through ten. 97 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,594 What have you done to me, Nick? 98 00:03:24,681 --> 00:03:26,814 I am so happy you're back. 99 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,472 You have made love to a lot of forgetful women. 100 00:03:31,558 --> 00:03:32,995 Oh, man, look at these. 101 00:03:33,081 --> 00:03:34,038 Wow. 102 00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:35,389 Oh, look at that. 103 00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:36,606 Rosh Hashanah, 104 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,478 '06. 105 00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:40,872 Yeah, nothing orthodox about what we did that night. 106 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,656 Winston seems nice. 107 00:03:42,743 --> 00:03:44,006 Did he say anything to you about the room? 108 00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,703 What room? The big room. 109 00:03:45,789 --> 00:03:47,139 I kind of took it from him when he left. 110 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,663 I used to be in the small room. 111 00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:52,667 This happened in the small room. 112 00:03:52,753 --> 00:03:54,668 Twice. 113 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,105 Never going back there again, Jess. 114 00:03:57,192 --> 00:03:59,239 He's never going to give you that room back. 115 00:03:59,325 --> 00:04:00,631 [scoffs] Come on, man, it's Schmidt. 116 00:04:00,717 --> 00:04:02,329 You know, they have a saying in Latvia: 117 00:04:02,415 --> 00:04:05,461 that guy is so stupid, 118 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,812 we could easily take things away from him. 119 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,639 [laughing]: That's a saying?Yeah, it is. 120 00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,075 That's a weird saying. 121 00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:14,036 [grunting] 122 00:04:14,122 --> 00:04:15,515 What do you think? NICK: Jess, 123 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,168 I've been telling you this for weeks, 124 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,649 but you got to call Spencer and you got to get your stuff back 125 00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:20,999 unless, you know, 126 00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:22,826 unless you're scared. 127 00:04:22,913 --> 00:04:24,699 No, I am not scared. 128 00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,221 It's just complicated. 129 00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:30,444 That stuff was, that stuff was ours 130 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:31,619 and I miss them... 131 00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:34,838 Jess, look, it's a ball. 132 00:04:34,925 --> 00:04:38,668 Oh, a little b-ball, huh? 133 00:04:38,755 --> 00:04:40,062 I'm actually pretty good. 134 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:42,499 I used to play with my mom. 135 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,153 ♪ Defense, defense, watch out for the defense ♪ 136 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,415 ♪ Sneaky, sneaky, wah-wah. ♪ 137 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:50,377 You get used to her.Hey, Schmidt. 138 00:04:50,463 --> 00:04:52,856 [all groaning]NICK: Oh, come on. 139 00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:55,598 Oh.WINSTON: Wow. 140 00:04:55,685 --> 00:04:56,904 Oh. 141 00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:01,083 My bad. 142 00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:07,959 I'm sorry, you guys. 143 00:05:08,045 --> 00:05:09,874 That was my TV, Jess. 144 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,005 It's kind of all he had. 145 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,355 I'll get you a new one. 146 00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:13,790 I just can't afford it right now. 147 00:05:13,877 --> 00:05:15,663 If you don't mind me asking, what's the plan? 148 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,750 WINSTON: You don't know me like that, 149 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,012 but I need a TV. 150 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,274 Do you have a TV at Spencer's? 151 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,884 Yeah, I do, it's just really big 152 00:05:20,971 --> 00:05:22,103 and thin and bright. 153 00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,584 Go get it.Go get it. 154 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:25,934 No, I can't call Spencer, I haven't talked to him 155 00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:28,197 since he cheated on me with that ho. 156 00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:31,853 Actually, that's not fair-- she might be a really nice ho. 157 00:05:31,939 --> 00:05:33,637 I just don't want to get in a big fight 158 00:05:33,723 --> 00:05:35,465 with Spencer. I want to be friends with him 159 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:37,466 eventually.Why do you want to be friends with your ex? 160 00:05:37,553 --> 00:05:39,512 I don't want to be friends with Caroline, 161 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,514 and all she did was rip me open and tear out my heart 162 00:05:41,601 --> 00:05:43,646 with her perfect, perfect hands. 163 00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:45,170 [groans] 164 00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,302 He has a power over me. 165 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:47,389 It's like he's 166 00:05:47,476 --> 00:05:49,086 a wizard and I'm his mage. 167 00:05:49,173 --> 00:05:50,175 I think it's his hair. 168 00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,524 He has this, like, 169 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:53,004 really beautiful hair, and whenever I see it, 170 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,136 I get the whoo-whoos. 171 00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:55,658 Oh, my God, 172 00:05:55,745 --> 00:05:57,661 I hate my life. All right, guys, just... 173 00:05:57,747 --> 00:06:01,970 Look, Jess, I know. 174 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,274 Closure. 175 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,887 Ouch. 176 00:06:05,973 --> 00:06:07,670 Am I right? 177 00:06:07,757 --> 00:06:09,324 I don't know at all what you're saying right now. 178 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,021 Okay, Jess, think about it. 179 00:06:11,108 --> 00:06:12,110 Schmidt, it's not that complicated. 180 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,197 Jess, just get the TV back. 181 00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,721 I need a TV.It's important. 182 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,680 It's a television. 183 00:06:16,766 --> 00:06:19,204 It's what brings all of-- just get us the TV! 184 00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:20,466 Okay, it's not a big deal. 185 00:06:20,553 --> 00:06:22,206 I'll do it, I'll call Spencer 186 00:06:22,293 --> 00:06:24,949 and I will talk to him 187 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,735 and I will talk to him, 188 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,911 so yay. 189 00:06:29,997 --> 00:06:32,000 Yay. 190 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,841 Hi, Spencer. 191 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,893 Hi, Jess-Jess. [sighs] 192 00:06:58,199 --> 00:06:59,593 Wow, I missed this place. 193 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,028 Mmm, mmm. 194 00:07:01,115 --> 00:07:02,944 How's your yogurt thing, Schmidt? 195 00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,858 Oh, the parfait? 196 00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,774 It's parfait.Come on, don't. 197 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,776 Oh, hello, you look beautiful today and smart. 198 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,430 Stop talking to me, Schmidt. 199 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:12,954 So you're making all the calls now, Schmidt. 200 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,521 Sure. This must mean you are the top dog. 201 00:07:15,608 --> 00:07:18,959 Yeah? Absolutely. 202 00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:20,526 You know, I'm glad you guys think that 203 00:07:20,613 --> 00:07:22,832 because, you know, 204 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,704 I think that, too. 100%. 205 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,228 I mean, when I moved out, obviously 206 00:07:26,314 --> 00:07:27,925 there was a power vacuum. 207 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:30,187 Mm-hmm.Yeah, I needed a leader. 208 00:07:30,274 --> 00:07:31,668 I didn't know which end was up. 209 00:07:31,754 --> 00:07:34,018 No, Nick's a bottom-- you know what I mean. 210 00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:35,237 Absolutely. 211 00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:36,803 Say, Winston, do all 212 00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,893 top dogs need the biggest room 213 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,024 or, I don't know, is that 214 00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:41,417 kind of cheesy, is it a little overkill? 215 00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:42,636 No, no, no, no, but I definitely see 216 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,245 what you're saying, though, definitely. 217 00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:46,117 Um, every top dog is different, 218 00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:47,858 every top dog is different. 219 00:07:47,944 --> 00:07:50,860 Hey, Schmidt, what, uh, kind of top dog are you? 220 00:07:50,947 --> 00:07:52,906 The kind with the big room. 221 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,867 I'm so glad we're talking. 222 00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:59,086 Last time I saw you, you were so mad. 223 00:07:59,173 --> 00:08:00,870 How is, um...? Rochelle. 224 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,307 Rochelle-- fancy name. 225 00:08:03,394 --> 00:08:04,483 She's great.Rochelle-- 226 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,485 like a mermaid. Yeah. 227 00:08:06,572 --> 00:08:08,444 [in underwater voice]: Hello, I'm Rochelle. 228 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,401 I fish. 229 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,882 Yeah, we have a lot in common. 230 00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:13,492 Obviously we both love bikes. 231 00:08:13,579 --> 00:08:15,538 I love bikes. 232 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,757 Not enough. 233 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,848 Um, Spencer, I need my stuff back-- 234 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,326 my TV and all my winter clothes 235 00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:24,024 and my plants.Yeah, of course. 236 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,288 I would have brought it today, but I rode my bike here, 237 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,420 you know, without the basket.Okay, 238 00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:31,119 well, when would be a good time for me to come...?It's so good to see you. 239 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:33,294 Spencer, I really need my stu... Shh. 240 00:08:34,817 --> 00:08:37,428 I need something, too. 241 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,865 ♪ This here's a jam for all the fellas... ♪ 242 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,868 Thanks for taking me to the airport, Jess. 243 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,346 Of course. 244 00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:45,698 All you have is your bike, Rochelle. 245 00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,091 SPENCER AND ROCHELLE: ♪ You want it ♪ 246 00:08:47,177 --> 00:08:50,138 ♪ You got it ♪ 247 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,400 ♪ You want it, baby ♪ 248 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,967 ♪ You got it, uh ♪♪ Just bust a move, uh ♪ 249 00:08:54,054 --> 00:08:55,751 BOTH: ♪ You want it. ♪ 250 00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:01,889 JESS: $550 for the TV? 251 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,629 Seems a little steep. 252 00:09:03,716 --> 00:09:05,674 I'm gonna write down a figure 253 00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:07,634 and this is as high as I'll go. 254 00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,596 You drew a smiley face. 255 00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:14,945 I'm a teacher. 256 00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:16,120 Do it for the kids. 257 00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:20,037 For the kids, $550. 258 00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,778 I can't go home without a TV. 259 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,432 I thought pawnshops 260 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,216 were about helping people, and frankly, 261 00:09:25,302 --> 00:09:26,956 right now I feel taken advantage of, 262 00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:29,698 and I just got out of a long relationship 263 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,701 and I don't know what I'm doing emotionally 264 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,834 or-- let's be honest-- sexually. 265 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:39,578 I'll just... just get out of here. 266 00:09:45,453 --> 00:09:47,369 Are you trying to rob me? 267 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,682 Hey, where's Winston at, man? 268 00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,552 I think he's in his room, Schmidt. 269 00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,208 You really think I'm top dog? 270 00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,472 Yes. 271 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:05,865 You think I'm head baller, shot caller? 272 00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:09,913 Yeah, Schmidt, I feel that way. 273 00:10:11,174 --> 00:10:13,394 See that, man? 274 00:10:13,481 --> 00:10:15,178 That's my new thumb ring. How choice is that? 275 00:10:15,265 --> 00:10:18,529 Little skull-- it's so nectar. 276 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,053 Did you just make up "nectar"? 277 00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:21,663 No, it's a volleyball term. 278 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:23,144 What is Winston doing in there? 279 00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:24,624 He can't hang out in there-- it's too small. 280 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,799 NICK: What's up?Yo, what up, Cece? 281 00:10:26,886 --> 00:10:27,844 Hey, are you all right? 282 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,106 I'm sorry, I didn't get the TV. 283 00:10:30,193 --> 00:10:31,934 What happened?Ugh, I'm a terrible roommate. 284 00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:33,283 I mean, seriously, 285 00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:34,721 you guys told her to call Spencer? 286 00:10:34,807 --> 00:10:36,113 That is not your job. 287 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,548 That is my job. 288 00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:38,549 All right, so what happened? 289 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,248 [groans] 290 00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,293 He needed a ride to the airport. 291 00:10:42,379 --> 00:10:43,337 What? 292 00:10:43,424 --> 00:10:45,470 For his new girlfriend. 293 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:46,775 NICK: Are you kidding me?Are you serious? 294 00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,386 I'm supposed to pick her up next Sunday. 295 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,475 Oh, my God, Jess. Wow! 296 00:10:51,562 --> 00:10:52,869 What's wrong with me?! 297 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,436 I figured it out. 298 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,786 This guy's your Kryptonite. 299 00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:59,832 You need to stand up, and you need to fight him. 300 00:10:59,919 --> 00:11:02,530 I tried to fight him, but I can't, 'cause I'm powerless. 301 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:03,706 'Cause you're not ready to let him go. 302 00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,707 I think you know deep down, 303 00:11:05,794 --> 00:11:07,361 once you get your stuff back, 304 00:11:07,448 --> 00:11:09,494 you know, it's over over. 305 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,148 CECE: I can't believe 306 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:12,759 I'm actually gonna say this, 307 00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,152 but I agree with him. 308 00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:19,721 No, you guys are wrong. 309 00:11:19,808 --> 00:11:21,768 I really... I really want to move on. 310 00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,856 Then you got to fight. All right, I want to fight. 311 00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:25,423 And get mad.I want to get mad. 312 00:11:25,509 --> 00:11:26,990 All right, then do this. 313 00:11:27,076 --> 00:11:28,948 Pretend this is Spencer's face. Punch it. 314 00:11:31,602 --> 00:11:32,995 Get it. 315 00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:37,260 Come on, do it again. 316 00:11:37,347 --> 00:11:38,784 All right, punch it like a man. 317 00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:40,524 Harder than that!CECE: Come on, Jess. 318 00:11:40,611 --> 00:11:42,048 Come on, Jess, you're angry. 319 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,224 Good!CECE: Get angry, 320 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,485 for real angry. 321 00:11:44,572 --> 00:11:45,748 That's dancing. That's punch dancing. 322 00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:47,009 He broke your heart. 323 00:11:47,096 --> 00:11:48,142 He did terrible things to you. You hate him. 324 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,620 I'm mad! 325 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,623 Good. Nice. I'm bad! 326 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,015 You're ready. Go get your stuff. 327 00:11:53,102 --> 00:11:54,888 I'm gonna go get my stuff! Go get it! 328 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,062 Come on, Jess. 329 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,193 JESS: I'm really mad! 330 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:58,107 NICK: I'm proud of you. Gonna go 331 00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,893 get it.Get your stuff. 332 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,807 I'm gonna face the facts. 333 00:12:01,894 --> 00:12:05,375 I'm gonna ask you guys right now to come with me. 334 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,076 Seriously, guys. 335 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,773 All right, yeah, yeah.'Cause I can't carry everything alone, 336 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,600 and I can't be alone. 337 00:12:12,687 --> 00:12:14,037 [heavy metal music playing] 338 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:16,344 Yeah! Loud music! 339 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:20,043 Loud. It's loud. 340 00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:21,870 Okay, you are ruining my pre-game mix. 341 00:12:21,957 --> 00:12:25,178 What am I gonna say?Hey, Spencer, give me my TV back. 342 00:12:25,265 --> 00:12:27,311 Hi, Spencer. Give me my TV back, buddy. 343 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:29,312 No "buddy." How about "jerk" or "idiot"? 344 00:12:29,399 --> 00:12:30,575 Mr. Crabs. 345 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,620 Mr. Crabs is an option. 346 00:12:32,707 --> 00:12:34,448 Your hand is on my leg. 347 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:35,971 Oh, your hand's on my leg. 348 00:12:36,058 --> 00:12:37,625 No, it really isn't. 349 00:12:37,712 --> 00:12:39,932 Classic he said, she said. 350 00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:42,370 Okay, Jess, just pull over right there. 351 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,634 [engine revving] 352 00:12:46,721 --> 00:12:48,636 What are you doing? 353 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,378 JESS: Okay, you know what? Just one more shot. 354 00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:53,467 One more time around, Jess, and then we're good. You got this. 355 00:12:53,554 --> 00:12:55,164 This is it. 356 00:12:55,251 --> 00:12:57,558 [all encouraging] 357 00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:00,735 Come on.Just one more time. 358 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,085 Gonna... 359 00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,129 [sighs] 360 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,131 Another... 361 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,481 All right, this is the time. This is the time. Wow! 362 00:13:07,568 --> 00:13:08,831 One more shot. One more shot. 363 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,964 Just one more. Just one more. 364 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,182 You know, I'm on to you. What do you mean? 365 00:13:13,269 --> 00:13:15,184 Okay, you told me that I'm top dog, 366 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:18,057 but secretly, you think you're top dog, all right? 367 00:13:18,144 --> 00:13:20,190 And now you're just trying to out-top dog the top dog. 368 00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:21,538 Jess, can you please take these doors off child-lock 369 00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,019 so I can kill myself? 370 00:13:23,105 --> 00:13:24,499 Men working. 371 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,283 Look, things are different now, man, all right? 372 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,110 You're not top dog anymore. I am. 373 00:13:28,197 --> 00:13:29,851 Okay, you know what? You are absolutely correct. 374 00:13:29,938 --> 00:13:31,418 You are the top dog. 375 00:13:31,505 --> 00:13:33,899 Here. What are you doing? 376 00:13:33,986 --> 00:13:35,683 There's no top dog crown. 377 00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,424 What, are you trying to make me look stupid? 378 00:13:37,511 --> 00:13:39,774 Look, man, this is about respect. 379 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,471 I'm a lot flyer than I used to be. 380 00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:42,995 Yeah, much flyer. I respect you, Schmidt. 381 00:13:43,082 --> 00:13:44,605 No, you don't. 382 00:13:44,692 --> 00:13:46,869 Because if you did, you would have told me 383 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,044 that the small room is the top dog room. 384 00:13:49,131 --> 00:13:51,787 [song changes to "Save the Best For Last"] 385 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:57,009 [humming along] 386 00:13:57,096 --> 00:13:59,707 ♪ Just when you thought our chance had past ♪ 387 00:13:59,794 --> 00:14:01,971 What? I own this song. 388 00:14:02,057 --> 00:14:07,672 ♪ You go and save the best for last... ♪ 389 00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:11,546 [whooping and cheering] 390 00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,374 What's happening? 391 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,636 What's happening is that this is a great song. 392 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,947 CECE: I'll be out here if you need me, Jess. 393 00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:30,477 [doorbell rings repeatedly and rapidly] 394 00:14:32,131 --> 00:14:34,743 Oh, Jess-Jess. 395 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:37,701 That's the wizard? He's wearing a scrunchie. 396 00:14:37,788 --> 00:14:39,835 WINSTON: Looks like he juggles clubs on the beach. 397 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,663 Yeah, like he'd ever have a job. 398 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,143 Didn't you just kind of assume 399 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:45,100 he'd have a handlebar moustache? 400 00:14:45,187 --> 00:14:47,538 Come on, Jess, just go in there and get that TV. 401 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,888 [sighing] 402 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,498 I miss you, Jess. 403 00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:51,846 CECE: Don't hug him back. 404 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,717 [group groaning] 405 00:14:53,804 --> 00:14:55,503 Ugh! [sighs]Oh, that's not healthy. 406 00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,899 I told you to water the plants. 407 00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:03,336 Huh? Oh. Oh, you know it's not my thing. 408 00:15:03,423 --> 00:15:05,687 I told you to water the plants. 409 00:15:07,818 --> 00:15:09,821 Uh-oh, uh-oh. 410 00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:11,866 [grunting] 411 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,913 What is she doing? 412 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,914 ALL: Oh!Oh, what a mess! 413 00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:17,524 [yelling] 414 00:15:17,611 --> 00:15:19,091 I'm coming in! 415 00:15:19,178 --> 00:15:20,919 Jess, take your shoes off! 416 00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:22,485 We keep an Asian household. 417 00:15:22,572 --> 00:15:23,879 Didn't see that coming. 418 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,229 She going to be okay in there? 419 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,057 SPENCER: Put that down! Put that down! 420 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:29,624 Jess, wait, wait, wait![loud clattering] 421 00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:31,495 Let's sit down and just talk about this, okay? 422 00:15:31,581 --> 00:15:33,105 Hold on. No, that's mine. 423 00:15:33,192 --> 00:15:34,368 You can't takethat.[loud crashing] 424 00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,109 [cat yowling] Jess, hold up. 425 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,761 Let's... What are you doing? 426 00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:40,330 I got it! 427 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,549 It's really heavy, but I got it! 428 00:15:42,636 --> 00:15:45,161 Oh, my God, we created a monster. 429 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:47,250 NICK: She looks like Helena Bonham Carter. 430 00:15:47,336 --> 00:15:48,686 WINSTON: Oh, God, she's gonna drop... 431 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,210 Soft hands, Jess. 432 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:51,732 Jess, come on, let's share it. 433 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,038 You know, work out a system. 434 00:15:54,256 --> 00:15:57,259 Hey, hey, that's my shirt. 435 00:15:57,346 --> 00:15:59,610 No, this is my T-shirt.No, that is my shirt. 436 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:00,828 It has my name on it. 437 00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:01,917 Don't drop it. Jess, don't... 438 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,745 Don't, don't drop... Don't... 439 00:16:03,831 --> 00:16:05,355 CECE: Come on, everybody out now. 440 00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:07,269 No, no, no, no![all groan] 441 00:16:07,356 --> 00:16:09,010 Give me my shirt!Come on, I like this shirt. 442 00:16:09,097 --> 00:16:11,447 Hey, Jess, no, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop. 443 00:16:11,534 --> 00:16:13,450 Sorry. Don't mind us, pal. We're just here for the TV. 444 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:15,582 Who are these guys?They're my roommates. 445 00:16:15,669 --> 00:16:18,193 Cece, hi. Hey.I'm gonna go in and get the rest of your stuff, Jess. 446 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,934 Wait, Jess, let's just talk about this, okay? 447 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,501 You know, rap it out. 448 00:16:21,588 --> 00:16:22,937 No, we can't rap it out. We're not together anymore. 449 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,331 It's not the same. 450 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,332 It doesn't mean we can't talk about things. 451 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,291 There's nothing to talk about. Give me my shirt back. 452 00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:31,076 No, you gave this to me. I want to keep it. 453 00:16:31,163 --> 00:16:32,947 Give her her T-shirt, man. 454 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,557 No, I don't want to, you know, and I gave her this hat, too, 455 00:16:34,644 --> 00:16:35,951 so I'm gonna take this back. 456 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,386 This one? Yeah. You want that? 457 00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:38,866 Yeah. Then I dare you-- 458 00:16:38,953 --> 00:16:40,259 come take it off my head, pal. 459 00:16:42,913 --> 00:16:44,437 I dare you. 460 00:16:48,615 --> 00:16:50,052 You guys look ridiculous. 461 00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:51,793 Look, dude, give her the shirt back. 462 00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:53,316 I bet she worked hard on that jamboree. 463 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:56,405 Yeah, a play on words-- Jam-boree. 464 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:57,451 Jam. Jam. 465 00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:00,149 Girl made a lot of jam, Spence. 466 00:17:00,235 --> 00:17:02,195 You know how time-consuming that can be? 467 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,674 You need a jar funnel, a canner, 468 00:17:04,761 --> 00:17:07,982 some fresh fruit-- strawberries, raspberries, 469 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,028 maybe a tayberry, maybe a ripe... 470 00:17:10,115 --> 00:17:13,554 No more fruit, man.You live with these people, Jess? Seriously? 471 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,295 You can stay here until you find a better place to live. 472 00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:16,686 You know what? I don't like you, stretch. 473 00:17:16,773 --> 00:17:18,558 I don't like anything 474 00:17:18,645 --> 00:17:20,865 about you, and I'm not afraid to... I got this. 475 00:17:25,173 --> 00:17:27,523 I've got a place to live, Spence. 476 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,395 It's over. 477 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,049 I spent six years 478 00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:32,921 trying to figure you out. 479 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,878 All you are is a guy 480 00:17:34,965 --> 00:17:37,098 with really beautiful hair. 481 00:17:37,185 --> 00:17:38,622 I'm happy you cheated on me. 482 00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,406 Thank you. 483 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:44,279 Because if you hadn't, I would have married you. 484 00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:46,413 And then you would have hurt me all over again. 485 00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:50,894 [sighs] And, yeah, I was scared to start over. 486 00:17:50,981 --> 00:17:52,809 I didn't know what to do, 487 00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:55,464 and yeah, I'm living with three guys I met on the Internet. 488 00:17:55,551 --> 00:17:57,163 And yeah, stranger danger is real. 489 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,034 But I love these guys. 490 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,603 I barely know them, 491 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:04,821 I just met him, 492 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:06,476 but I love them. 493 00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,173 NICK: I would just take it easy with the love stuff. 494 00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:10,175 Come on, the love stuff.All of them. 495 00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:16,007 Give her the shirt back, man. 496 00:18:19,923 --> 00:18:20,969 What happens if I say no? 497 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,231 You know what happens? 498 00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:24,885 Schmidt happens! 499 00:18:24,972 --> 00:18:26,452 Ow! 500 00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:27,845 What was on your hand? 501 00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,238 Thumb ring, bitch! 502 00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:31,196 You got some Schmidt on your face. 503 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,548 You know what? Fine! Here, take it! 504 00:18:36,897 --> 00:18:38,464 Keep the bell. What? 505 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,121 You know, I thought we were gonna 506 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,817 handle this like adults, Jess. 507 00:18:43,904 --> 00:18:47,082 Yeah, well, I thought you were the love of my life, so... 508 00:18:49,214 --> 00:18:51,259 Suck it, Mr. Crabs. 509 00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,321 You hit that guy. 510 00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:10,932 Whatevs. You know. 511 00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,454 [laughs] 512 00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,544 You know what? 513 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:17,199 Maybe I didn't have respect for you before, because 514 00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:19,593 if this is what respecting you feels like, 515 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,942 then this is definitely not how I felt. 516 00:19:22,029 --> 00:19:26,076 So, you recognize. Represent, what? 517 00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:28,515 Okay, look, I'm gonna be completely honest. 518 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,298 I've been messing with you. 519 00:19:30,385 --> 00:19:32,432 But it's just that I wanted my old room back. 520 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,607 You know, you're right. 521 00:19:34,694 --> 00:19:36,826 I've been away a long time, and things have changed around here, 522 00:19:36,913 --> 00:19:38,915 so I guess I kind of got to get used to that. 523 00:19:39,002 --> 00:19:40,614 You keep the big room. 524 00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:43,616 See, now you're just deep dogging me, man. 525 00:19:43,703 --> 00:19:46,489 I'm not scared of your mind games. 526 00:19:46,576 --> 00:19:49,536 I'm taking the small room, Winston. 527 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,451 Schmidt, that's not what I mean, but... 528 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,147 No, no, no, no, no. Why don't you listen to what I mean? 529 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:57,195 You can double reverse dog me until the cows come home. 530 00:19:57,282 --> 00:19:59,198 I'm not falling for it. 531 00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,068 What do you take me for, 532 00:20:01,155 --> 00:20:03,157 some kind of idiot? 533 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,423 [quietly]: Yes. 534 00:20:10,686 --> 00:20:12,776 I can't believe I got all my stuff back. 535 00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:16,084 You did, but most of it's broken. 536 00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:19,347 Yeah, it's broken, but-- I don't know-- it's mine. 537 00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:22,307 Yeah, but it's broken. Hey, look at that. 538 00:20:22,394 --> 00:20:24,048 I think it's working.Oh, my God! 539 00:20:24,134 --> 00:20:26,049 We got a TV again. It's a TV, 540 00:20:26,136 --> 00:20:27,050 and it's working. 541 00:20:27,137 --> 00:20:29,053 Hey, we got the TV back! 542 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,882 All right! 543 00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,753 JESS: You guys are awesome. 544 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,407 I'm going to make you so much jam. 545 00:20:35,494 --> 00:20:37,105 Please don't. 546 00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:38,759 ♪ Oh, we're gonna have a jam sess. ♪ 547 00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:40,239 Absolutely not. 548 00:20:43,589 --> 00:20:45,895 Okay, what are we watching? 549 00:20:45,982 --> 00:20:47,507 I have some DVDs. 550 00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:49,900 Um, Adventures in Babysitting, 551 00:20:49,987 --> 00:20:53,076 uh, Prancer, Newsies, Curly Sue. 552 00:20:53,163 --> 00:20:54,817 I'm going out. 553 00:20:54,904 --> 00:20:57,604 Yeah. 554 00:20:57,691 --> 00:21:01,041 Wait. Where are you guys going? 555 00:21:01,128 --> 00:21:03,609 These are heartwarming films. 556 00:21:07,134 --> 00:21:10,007 Oh. Curly Sue. Let's do this. 557 00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:11,530 All right, let me go get it.